The Kriegers in Peacetime | a Warhammer 40k story

[@DreadAnon]

appeal: pls go bully this tiktoker who is stealing mine and a bunch of other Warhammer creators' vidyas and pretending that he made them 😤🫵 www.tiktok.com/@fortnitegattu.backup

[@stephenscimeca7882]

@@DreadAnon send him to Big Jim.

[@DreadAnon]

@@stephenscimeca7882 “AGHHHHHHHHHHH” - Big Jim

[@deplorabledegenerate2630]

Veterans affairs joke. True in 1916. True in 2024. True in 40218 or whatever.

[@martinnolhaf3151]

As a German I must say your German is really good!!!

[@imstupid880]

>backup Guess he's already been hit before

[@jasondouglas6755]

I see the VA office hasn’t changed in 39,000 years

[@Hybris51129]

There was a brief time where the Emperor himself had reorganized the VA, structured it so that for the first time in its existence it worked as intended. Sadly the office that held all the paperwork and leadership trained by the Emperor was located on Istvan IV as part of turning the planet into a dedicated administration world and thus was the first thing destroyed by Horus and his traitors at the start of the Great Heresy. With it's destruction and the on going war the Emperor had no time to spare to rebuild it and thus the administratium simply returned to the traditional systems no matter how dysfunctional they were.

[@DeusExAngelo]

Much like the DMV

[@DreadAnon]

SAME AS IT EVER WAS SAME AS IT EVER WAS SAME AS IT EVER WAS SAME AS IT EVER WAS

[@Da_ComputerMonster]

@@DreadAnon This is NOT my BEAUTIFUL Imperium...

[@Hermanoman6]

​@@DreadAnonONCE IN A LIFETIME

[@Shatnerpossum]

Man is going to sigh and play Trench Simulator on his computer

[@TSInfiMa-r6z]

Or Trench Crusade.

[@bozo6049]

Builds a 1:1 recreation of the Vraks siege

[@randycheow4268]

Or digging a trench in Minecraft

[@ethanfox8979]

​@@TSInfiMa-r6zTrench Crusade mentioned

[@TSInfiMa-r6z]

@@ethanfox8979 Trenchfolks unite!

[@QV1010]

2:43 I love that it’s just a regular VA office.

[@idontlikerome2744]

Here i thought you yankees have it better...

[@ArandomPerson7996]

😂

[@SkinChangerDev]

Captain Acheran when he has to send more than 5 men on a mission

[@Del_S]

Imagine if he played the original Chaos Gate, he'd be baffled by the second mission. "Two... combat squads? There's numbers bigger than five?"

[@stormsurge2103]

@@Del_Sha, can you imagine him playing DOW 2?😅

[@Del_S]

@@stormsurge2103 Or DoW1 for that matter....

[@poleofversatility7074]

I think we can get him up to nine men, but only if they're in groups of three, and the groups are deployed so far apart that they never see each other.

[@DreadAnon]

@@stormsurge2103 He'd like 2! He'd be giggling and kicking his feet while he completes the campaign with only four men

[@Scientist118]

Watch as they get sent to a Stardew Valley-like Agriworld and they find out the farmers appreciate a well-made trench.

[@axios4702]

There is a comic about that. Krieger's paradise.

[@idontlikerome2744]

@@axios4702 still cant wait for an ork warband or tyranid hivefleet to visit there, its getting too good for Warhammer

[@axios4702]

@@idontlikerome2744 My personal headcanon is that it's the Emperor's Afterlife realm in the Warp, hence the unnatural peaceful atmosphere, presence of minor daemons and the skaven accidentally tunneling into it.

[@bodaciouschad]

​@@axios4702 You, by telling me about this, put a beaming smile on my face for about 15 minutes. Thank you for sharing that gem of a comic.

[@ObiWeebKenobi]

Needs to be the part 2 of this vid

[@daverage4729]

Only the Kriegers could be so rude to a Commissar...if he shoots you, its still death in the service of Emps!

[@jamesfreeman3617]

The jungle fighters just glad out kill there commissars

[@inurokuwarz]

"What are you gonna do? Kill me?" *comissar pulls out clipboard* "Wait! What are you doing?" *hands Kreiger a transfer off the frontline* "YOU BASTARD!"

[@Bcuzieatiron]

Krieg Commissars have to almost do the opposite of what they usually do. Instead of forcing troops out to the front lines, they have to maintain order and hold everyone back because the Krieg are so eager to get killed lol.

[@michaelsolomon3496]

​@@inurokuwarz😂

[@Sidewinder1996]

​@inurokuwarz a true and proper commissar knows and understands his men. That includes how to put the screws to em 😂

[@MrLFJ7]

Captain acheran will never shake off the "five men only."

[@bobstevenson9015]

except when he's sending three men only

[@zackanderson7440]

Truly the most grimdark fate of all... MUNDANITY!!

[@stripeybag6977]

Unironically one of the worst ways to die in this galaxy.

[@stephenscimeca7882]

​@@stripeybag6977 probably one of the most common ways too.

[@DreadAnon]

[@user-unos111]

Worse: Bureaucracy

[@bestninja9852]

Captain Acheran if he was in Pawn Star: “The best I can do is $3 for the Custodian guardian spear.”

[@alastor8091]

Given it's gene locked, I wouldn't pay 3 cents for one. You can't use it even if you could overide the lock.

[@DreadAnon]

maybe he has some Blood Raven in his gene seed

[@ham_the_spam4423]

@@alastor8091 I'm sure the Mechanicus could make use of it. Valuable metals are valuable metals, who cares that it's in the shape of a powerful weapon exclusive to the Emperor's personal guard?

[@alastor8091]

@@ham_the_spam4423 "Hey Lord Valdor, I found your spear! This guy named ham_the_spam stole it!"

[@poleofversatility7074]

This reminds me of a news report which interviewed Taliban warriors who now worked desk jobs in their new government. As it turns out, fighting and dying for the cause is more emotionally fulfilling than filing paperwork and doing taxes for the cause.

[@alastor8091]

"..... I miss the Americans....."

[@user-unos111]

That may also explain why the Middle East is such a craphole At least Afghanistan is now a functional country ... Right?

[@SusCalvin]

A lot of them are not terribly educated war veterans.

[@DaddyDurog]

Desk Korps of Krieg

[@jamiecollins7915]

the next coworker who cracks that joke at a krieger struggling at a tech support computer gets to be the target of an acidic memo on unit cohesion and effective moral

[@darthgonk5648]

It’s crazy I get a join the national guard ad after the video ended

[@jamiecollins7915]

do your service to holy terra and enlist straight away

[@ThatWeirdGuyFromWork]

Holy fuck dude me too

[@gabem3251]

Good to know Captain Acheran took the Inquisitor Grendyl approach to warfare of sending 4-5 men at an enemy

[@qwefg3]

Hey! He is actually improving! Before he used to only send 3 people at the enemy.

[@ragnerschwarzmane3412]

Yes but at least Grendyl is playing kill team with 12 models per side max anyways. Acheran is playing Apokalypse with biotitans and still only sends 3 men. I know there Ultra marines, but this is just abuse of plot armor at this point!

[@stripeybag6977]

That's unfair to Acheran, he'll send down 9 guys if he really has to... in teams of 3... no wonder the heretics kept Neminghast.

[@leomacedop]

They could hope for a bright future in the famous "tek and mech" sitcon

[@jamesdunn8013]

God this hits home got medically discharged from the USMC at 19 so I thought I had at least 3 more years and I was planning on continuing in the USMC but suddenly I was out of the military with two banged up legs and just a high school diploma.

[@DreadAnon]

the system works 🫡

[@R3DR4V3N-_-]

2:20 that chaos general was expecting something completely different than *UUUUUUUÄÄÄÄEEEGHHHH*

[@Iburnforalleternity]

What was he expecting? It was pretty obvious…

[@R3DR4V3N-_-]

@ not to that guy, he thought he would be whipped by the battle sister and not an arco-flagellant.

[@Iburnforalleternity]

@@R3DR4V3N-_-damn heretics be into some kinky shit ew

[@Iburnforalleternity]

@@R3DR4V3N-_-damn heretics with they’re fetishes

[@thegarbageman8713]

Oh mein gott this trench is full of kriegmarinen

[@DreadAnon]

NO LITTLE GERMAN BOY

[@thicclegendfeep4050]

Commissar: "It's over men, it's OVER !!" Kriegers: "NÖTZING IST ÖVER, NÖTZING !!! DÜ JÜST DÖN'T TÜRN IT ÖFF !!!" Commissar: "It was a different time, the war was fun for everybody, let it go" Kriegers: "Bäck zeir Ich Köuld dig trenchez, Ich Köuld käll un ärtillery schtreichke, Ich väss in chärge öv chemicäl ättacks ön entire plänetz, bäck hier Ich kän't even vörk un jöb KLEÄNING HIVE SEWERS !!!!" (Kriegers the type of dudes to watch their buddies' legs blow off and cry, not from sorrow, but out of pure jealousy)

[@jpfg2713]

Rambo reference?

[@thicclegendfeep4050]

​@@jpfg2713Ja

[@1er264ynkc]

When you want to die for the glory of the emperor but, your stupid comissar got the enemy to surrender

[@candymanva9629]

Just to make it clear; the Kriegers are suicidal in the way the Slayers of the Dwarfs are. They don’t try to just kill themselves in any way. They gotta die for something.

[@JWat-ko1hr]

"Big Jim". I'm fucking dying.

[@billyboy8534]

Big Jim seems like a decent fella.

[@stephenscimeca7882]

Definitely not driven mad from being tortured himself!

[@johnrichardson7310]

He has a real soft side to him when he is not at work plus his wife seems always to be happy for some reason.

[@BaronVonMott]

"I can finally stop doing this ridiculous accent!" 😂

[@loltwest9423]

Just before Veterans day in the US.

[@stripeybag6977]

Wait he has a grandmother? How?! They're basically all clones at this point.

[@Hawkens4k]

Inquisition: thats not confirmed -eats expensive crackers-

[@ADRDuran]

Well to put it simply they have multiple variants of Kreigans and their genetics, so and they do produce both male and female clones and mature sexually and physically pretty quickly, so it isn’t far fetched with these clones reproducing within each other.

[@internetbotv45]

Nobody gonna mention 1:56? Missed opportunity for it to be an emperors children marine instead of black legion.

[@Teno2001]

True but there is no emperors children model out. Not counting the noise marine I guess.

[@milkmilk807]

missed opportunity for the joke to be that when he sees Big Jim he gets MORE excited

[@dr.stronk9857]

Yeah but if it was an emperors children he’d enjoy it regardless of who was doing it

[@dr.stronk9857]

@@milkmilk807true lol

[@predatitor4183]

The kriegs not are really that obsessed with dead, but the part of how the war ends... it magic.

[@Ratwithagatpewpew69]

4:56 Kriegsman are the 40k equivalent of the Marine corp confirmed

[@TheArklyte]

The interesting part is that due to strain on imperial navy, Imperium doesn't have capacity to rapidly redeploy regiments. So yes, when a krieger arrives to see a war that already ended, it's cheaper for Imperium to just leave them there as "soldier colony". That would essentially mean that majority of the regiment would be disbanded and made civilians. Which is good for any other regiment except this one 😅

[@user-unos111]

I want to believe that if kriegers are not deployed to another meatgrinder they are just recruited as Adeptus Arbites

[@Gabronthe]

I always wondered what transit is like because they probably spend longer in warp travel than they do planet side.

[@viledd]

0:14 he called them chaos butterflies 😅 such a lovely language

[@johncolasont6195]

I really thought I was watching a New Military History Visualized video until Jim showed up.

[@DeusExAngelo]

In The Grim Darkness of the 41st Millennium... Much like the DMV, Veteran Affairs has not changed in the slightest.

[@TSInfiMa-r6z]

Armageddon Steel Legion: You Kriegs are very gloomy.

[@spoopyd.8910]

The "five men" joke fucking caught me off guard. That got a damn good laugh out of me mate. Fucking hell

[@ReverandSatan]

I see that even in the 41st Millennium, the VA still maintains their motto: "Veterans Administration - Giving veterans a second chance to die for their Imperium (Country)."

[@karoluspatricius6271]

Acheran’s favourite restaurant is Five Guys

[@robertmiles1603]

I'm a bit disappointed by the premise of this video. In the future there's supposed to be ONLY WAR but then I find out that sometimes there isn't >:(

[@Hybris51129]

Ask anyone in the administratium and they will tell you that bureaucracy is war. Your enemies are the other departments, management, the general public, your fellow coworkers trying to get ahead you, and even the cogitator in front of you is your enemy.

[@TheNightlessFall]

Good ending: ''Hanz... Hanz, wake up! You've had a nightmare, but you're lucky, you'll be part of the next assault!''

[@SnowblindSisyphus]

I love shit like this, man. Never stop.

[@Patrioticpawn]

Couldn’t have asked for a better present for the Marine Corrps birthday. Which of course was yesterday.

[@WolfHagenSdW]

Dieser Kommentarbereich ist nun Eigentum des Imperiums der Menschheit!

[@michaeldimare3786]

That’s actually nicer looking than what I’ve heard VA offices are like……Kriegers truly deserve better, nein office work! “Big Jim” had me hacking like I was in a gas zone 😂 (Thank you Anna, you ruined that heretics day quite impressively)

[@wyatt8315]

Making the Kriegers German is artistic genius

[@aceambling7685]

Wdym, they are German. Armageddon too.

[@logangrimnar3800]

It is unparalleled in terms of raw, pure understanding of narrative and storytelling.

[@ferdinand5223]

​@@aceambling7685lmao, no. They're French.

[@dziewiaty]

​@@ferdinand5223they are germans in french uniforms

[@thebigenchilada678]

@@dziewiatythey’re germans in fantasy uniforms, german gasmask, french trench coat. That’s it. And they come from… Kreig “WHICH MEANS WAR IN GERMAN OMG OMG OMG!!! WOW!” As you know.

[@IchigoGyuunyu]

The Emperor truly does love Humanity for his VA has a somewhat functioning lightbulb.

[@paulolier6836]

Nah the ending got real ☠️

[@ferrumbellatorwarsmith3342]

I see the VA has remarkably improved. It only took what, tens of thousands of years and an oppressive fanatic grim Empire and Reality. But hey, progress is progress. And progress is Heresy.

[@Raffinari]

Why does their va office look so much better?

[@PeterKennedy-b1h]

1:10 My Guy, *_My Commissar_*

[@trenchposter4234]

in case anyone is wondering, the music is from Return of The Obra Dinn

[@bananowy_ocet]

0:46 I love the return of the Obra Dinn ost! (it's The Calling A)

[@Rezec75]

I feel bad for the chaos commander. No-one deserves to be bamboozled like that. Even a chaos commander.

[@nyxnox2135]

Good on you Dread, lesser men would just stop at the over-the-top german accent, but you actually put some work in and pronounced the words well. Very well done.

[@yungmalaria]

THIS SOLDIER DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE JOKE, THIS SOLDIER NEVER HAD THAT MUCH CHARACTER DEPTH

[@chynabad9804]

Possibly the first longer video I fully enjoyed

[@jayslostandburningmind9197]

The ending is legitimately horrifying.

[@cogtheprotogen6671]

I wouldnt mind the whole "I can spare 3-5-6" men thing If there weren't all those marines just standing around on the battle barge doing nothing all the time, Like you can absolutely spare more men they're right there, You can't have the awesome atmosphere of space marines talking and looking pretty aboard the ship while also claiming you're spread thin and men are in short supply, You just can't do both.

[@Silverflower351]

DreadAnon i love all the Voices you make Boris still my Favorite :D

[@inductivegrunt94]

When one war ends the Kriegers simply be deployed to the next. That's the life of the Krieger, until they finally give their life for the Imperium and atone for their planet's past.

[@maxwellbeckconrad7606]

You deserve everything coming to you. This channel is fucking amazing.

[@fed0t38]

They are pretty good at digging - could have assemble a landscaping crew or something.

[@chavzone]

This is probably what Big Boss went through after MGSV

[@dr.pineapple609]

Captain Acheran finds the ancient Terran ruins of a place he would have loved, five guys!

[@giantzombiechild]

The silent hill music pick when they go to the VA office is so perfect.

[@Ottersanity]

This video helped brighten my day in the field.

[@Harbinger37]

I just watched all your Joe Ogyrn vids, now I what to see more Sister Debunkaria, doing her on podcast, going on rants about all the things see has seen, since her vow of silence was broken

[@janodelic2615]

Thank you! I needed this video to bring me through the Monday.

[@astroboy6515]

I read the Forges of Mars trilogy. There was a recurring Arco-Flagellant character. I laughed my ass off at your joke

[@pyrothechef977]

Oh boy i sure love the krieg

[@nicolausg7058]

The Krieg Comissars was one of the nicest Comissars ever. He shared with the soldaten :D

[@AlcriseDrgn]

Dieser Kommentar Bereich ist jetzt Eigentum der Bundesrepublik Deutschland

[@SharkAttack-kz1dq]

"Im sure the VA office will offer you help" is the FUNNIEST joke in history

[@nodrogstengrad4782]

Oh God Emperor on Holy Terra. That she’ll put them in a coma where their worst nightmares have come true! Those treacherous traitors! How could they deny the Kriegan their deserved repentance! The Inkrieganity!

[@ham_the_spam4423]

it seems Captain Acheran was the one who ordered the Ultramarine expedition into the Forsaken Doom, deploying Terminator squads of five and no more, only sending the next wave after they're already wiped out

[@jitsinator3710]

Grox steak puts a very weird image in my mind considering the amount of... Cranking groxes have undergone

[@lordofshovels4369]

This breaks my heart those poor Kriegers 😢 (Great job man loved the video!)

[@Kirkmaximus]

As a veteran, this hits very deep. Poor Kriegers. Having to suffer in civilian life. A fate worst than a 1,000 deaths...

[@misanthropicservitorofmars2116]

Idk what accent this is, but it sounds like a mix between German and French. Perfect

[@lowtan14]

1:17 That music brings me back to blasting tans in my Cobra attack helicopter

[@SneedRemembrancer]

I love the idea of kriegers insulting commissars in an attempt to get blam’d.

[@LordEmperorBoss]

This is going to need a part 2.

[@Whos_real]

Peacetime 😂

[@michaelschroeder1559]

The acheran skimping on reinforcements saga continues

[@BaranZenon]

It is so funny that a cold Krieg Guardsman would call his enemies "butterflies" :)

[@D.M.S.]

A masterpiece of the modern age.

[@CocoaRon]

4:19 Canada moment

[@Francesco-gf1sv]

I think we all have a krieger inside our hearts...

[@silkenemperor]

I'd imagine they'd go into demolition and digging pipping and sewers.

[@xj770HUN]

Lucky to them, there is only war, so it just a nightmare!

[@stealthynaxo]

Man. First Kriegsman in paradise and now Kriegsmen working 9 to 5. Its a sad day.

[@connorsmith1005]

2:53 oh my Emperor I haven't heard the Gutsman's Ass Sound effect in an age!

[@TheRemembrancer]

Nine.

[@AGS363]

Thank you, Anna!

[@Kohl293]

I like the implication that these are the last two surviving Kriegers in the regiment and the rest died

[@germanmandalorian3514]

"Back to the Arschloch Factory", i dont think the Commisar was qualified to go back in the Schola Progneium.

[@kerbal666]

I've been to those trenches. Once on a school trip to Belgium.

[@JackThomson-o9p]

In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only krie 😭

[@happymartin6778]

In this episode: an excuse for Dread to speak copious German.

[@deathkorpsinfantryman1898]

this is why i decided to study and get an engineering degree between deployments, so in the unlikely event peace ever breaks out. i can get a job on a deep space mining rig: lots of potential for death & danger on one of those