The new old people are going to suck | Lachlan Patterson

Nobody wants to hear stories about your food blog, grandma.
Catch Lachlan Patterson on the sixth episode from the 23rd season on Halifax Comedy Festival on CBC Gem.
#newoldpeople #lachlanpatterson #standup
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[@rouelandrewpulma9799]

“Here’s a picture of myself” Grandson: “What’s the story behind it?” “Nothing. Just felt cute that day”

[@Lorenna1234]

@Far L *50 years later*

[@yourdaddyonceler1239]

I'm scared of the future.

[@VeganV5912]

What an idiot

[@garfreeek]

Big Mood.

[@irishcountrygirl78]

Lol.... It's okay Gen X will still have cool stories from the 80's.

[@Icureditwithmybrain]

Grandson: Hey grandpa tell me about your life when you were young. Grandpa: I was a moderator on a minecraft server

[@zeriel9148]

Gently now, he's a hero

[@MrBeiragua]

War stories

[@switchunboxing]

4K Game Benchmarks 😂😂😂

[@j.w.1419]

Ha!

[@juliakercsmar6587]

Epic. I never got into servers i never have the means to buy a lamd or anything really. I only get my ass handed to me in arenas because i can't afford diamond armour. But im not a creative person to only build houses. Im a solo survivor kinda gal. I work hard, mine hard, die a million times to get the stuff i need to strenghten my stronghold. That's epic though. Good for you👌

[@aaronseet2738]

"Never has a generation so diligently documented themselves achieving so little."

[@MichiganAngling]

Meh, I get the sentiment, and while technically true, this quote is pretty meaningless with context. It has never been easier and more efficient to document anything and everything. We don’t have to consult a monk for first hand accounts, or hire a photographer to sit in front of a camera for a single shot long exposure, or go get a finite roll of film developed. We can take a picture with 2 taps and easily store 20,000+ pictures in our pocket. We don’t need filing cabinets or libraries to store and organize documents. We can store, organize, and gain access to even more documents and files more efficiently and quicker than ever. Yes, more insignificant things get documented these days, but EVERYTHING gets documented more because we are able too. Great things are still being achieved by younger generations. Every generation thinks they’re smarter than the last and wiser than the next. I’m tired of this trope. Times change, humans continue to evolve, technology advances, it makes no generation automatically better or worse.

[@SteveBlues87]

@@MichiganAngling nah, this generation sucks. Old people rule.

[@anerdwithglasses7429]

To be fair.... None of us have time to achieve anything all that great Too busy just tryna get by on what little we do have.

[@thomaschristopher8593]

digital records will become unavailable in less time time than old paper records. not many people have the desire to put in the work to convert digital records to new formats.

[@pro-choicemom]

Boomers destroyed the world so I'll stick with tge younger generation.

[@tomskih203]

"Here's grandma's onlyfans." No! Grandma, Nooooo!!!!

[@nope_no_nunya.]

😄😄😄

[@steverogers2635]

They'll regret that crap someday.

[@rustyjeep2469]

LMFAO!!!! This is hilarious because it's true.

[@rustyjeep2469]

@@steverogers2635 Nah, I honestly don't think that most of us will, our generation doesn't have the same puritanical views about sex as yours...

[@nalk20]

@@steverogers2635 Nope... Their grandkids will. ;)

[@rafaeltrivino1790]

Grandpa:"Billy?" Billy:"Yes grandpa" Grandpa:"What are those?"

[@Abo-xz5bs]

Hahahahhahaha

[@helli5057]

I hate it that I understood what you meant

[@delightfulblueberries7405]

Their my hover crocs with wheel!

[@tdot7084]

Rafael Trivino Billy: They're my sandals

[@adamthestimator]

Rafael Trivino (with blade hand pointing at his shoes)

[@hellride8544]

Im not mentally prepared for a 70 yr old to say "lit AF".....

[@xtraox7964]

Lmfao

[@Pugetwitch]

You've got to kick it with cooler 70 year olds.

[@RokieYTGaming]

Hellride85 grandpa just says "what a meme".

[@Salidin111]

bunch of 70 year olds are going to be doing the Scrubs dance.

[@KrowwJaeger]

And 10 fire emojis

[@melquizedec]

this dude has a 90s vibe....clean homeless style

[@forton615]

Better than one of those American "carved out of a brick, I don't need a hat" style haircuts 😆

[@NokMTG]

My grandfather had some amazing stories about the war and growing up during the dust bowl as 1 of 9 kids. He was the only boy and worked since he was able to milk the cows. Once a week the family would have a "feast" and share 1 roasted chicken. Between 11 people, he got a wing. He was a quiet, strong man that I wish I could be more like

[@barbydeane6185]

YOU Are., you will be- his DNA and stories are in You! every time you think of his strengths, remember his stories-Be Like Him - retell the history. I am watching my own Son., doing this - re: my Dad (and Mother) his grandparents imprinted on him- the gifts of memory-experience-not to repeat mistakes-but to learn - better. It's how the animals survive-and we can too. Kindness and helping one another thru some impossible, scares. Apology for such longtexting you helped me today to happy remember my Dad (Navy Admiral) and the most remarkable and beautiful Mom ever

[@davidetralli5795]

My granpa also told me so many stories about the war. He an italian was pow for 4 years in the us and worked for a local farmer during the day while returning to the pow camp (camp hereford texas) at night. He and other pow coworker became really close to the farmer and they kept writing letter to each other after he returned in italy.

[@GankTown]

I understood and agreed just by reading the title

[@kazzng2087]

Agreed. Our generation is trash.

[@hugomartinez6251]

Same here. This should have more likes.

[@NoneOfItEvenMattered]

Yep

[@maskedmerker1]

I turn into an old black guy when I get to that age.They got stories man.

[@c_jade]

😂

[@Milfuelle100]

My grandmother: *could sew, bake, cook, and knit like a pro* Me as a grandmother: "And that is how you make cereal."

[@robertturner7147]

Hilarious!!😂😂😂

[@JulsLittleBeirutAnarchy]

I don’t think the inability to cook & sew/knit is a generational thing. My Younger Sister plans out big meals and sews her own clothes. I’m not the right person to ask for either cooking or artsy stuff.

[@myname7937]

I bet your grandma can't even finish the pod racing level.

[@NARKISDUDE]

You can MAKE it? pretty impressive.

[@PoisonXMuffinz]

😂

[@haneul4164]

For some people it's going to be "what's this, grandma?" "Lol memes I thought were funny" "What about pictures of you?" "No we didn't take group photos or candid pictures anymore, just selfies and sometimes staged photoshoots"

[@robboss204]

I remember my grandfather telling me stories about himself and his father it was like a movie. now he is gone and it is hard to get used to see his couch empty

[@Andreschannel_SA]

You're lucky. I can't remember a single story either of my grandfathers ever told. Either they never told me stories, or I'm too old now to remember them. One died when I was about 13, the other when I was around 40 years old.

[@wge621]

Sending love to you my friend

[@adamchapman3358]

Sounds like a blast to listen to his old stories. Do you have a favorite story?

[@jasonbell6670]

I'm starting to see you fucking everywhere. so hi how are you

[@afrog2666]

Paint some happy little clouds on it ;)

[@annoyingmarlin3567]

I thought this was a ted talk

[@Zombiphobia]

It is.

[@cabbage-soup]

ahh i keep seeing comments like these on stand up comedy. haha is it the lighting?

[@LGguedo]

And a Norm Macdonald joke

[@indieliza7519]

Me too

[@donkeykong4983]

Annoying Marlin same

[@PlantagenetRose]

“What’s this album for Grandma?” “Ah, those are the memes from 2018, truly an exceptional time for memes.” **wipes away tear**

[@patrickparadis9038]

too soon

[@daeguboy8136]

wow 😂

[@AttilatheThrilla]

I read this in his voice 😂

[@kneeslider460]

Classic lmao

[@TheLifeofJay1]

AttilatheThrilla same lol

[@gamingtonight1526]

Nice to know he thinks we'll still be around in 50 years! I am heartened! :)

[@dee_dee_place]

Lachlan Patterson was born 2 years before I graduated HS. He just said what I've been thinking for a long time. In my lifetime, I have known 6 generations, including my own. I have phenomenal stories & pictures from each generation. I feel sorry for young people, today, who are lucky if they know their grandparents (a lot of whom have already passed away).

[@HighOnCaffine9623]

"Here's another large folder of dank memes, spanning from 2011 thru 2025."

[@RenegadeShepard69]

Ah the good old days. O my dear sweet grandchild those times were liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittt.

[@L1nkn1vy]

God, he'll have to explain the context for each one too cause no one is gonna understand 99% of the dumb memes out now in 50 years.

[@BlueFieldGamer]

HighOnCaffeine1101 and they will have a story for each dank memes

[@Flagrant_Violations]

There were some periods of drought however.

[@SpaceDisco1]

L1nkn1vy Bruh, 90% of the people don‘t understand them now, so I give them like 5 years tops.

[@trublgrl]

Here is your grandmother, making the face of a duck. That was beauty in my day.

[@asuka813]

😂

[@bananapeaches6370]

😂 did you see the origin of the duck lips face tho?

[@fpinzow]

hilarious

[@annabelles1622]

😂😂😂🤣👍

[@eluemina2366]

🤣

[@notayoutuber3518]

Child: “What’s this photo, grandma?” “Oh I took 12 shots that night and I don’t remember a thing. Those were the days.”

[@angelaesteban9090]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@turtlebean2067]

"Here are some shoes I once thought about buying" - I have all those photos on my phone he just described! I actually have 2 photos of the airplane wing! I am so going to be this Grandma 😂😂

[@lu_re7198]

So will everyone else. A generation of empty drones.

[@siriusfun]

Congratulations in being part of the problem. I wouldn't be bragging about that.

[@myself2873]

@@lu_re7198 not all

[@jpweidemoyer8544]

Nursing homes will be like high school all over again.

[@karinlarsen4251]

Except we can't hear

[@MrDomonin]

JP Weidemoyer I’m looking forward to huge LAN parties

[@AngelOfMusic20]

As a former CNA nursing homes ARE like high school. Employees and patients!

[@theghostinthemachine5602]

You mean Vaping in the bathroom?

[@tonibauer2949]

Oh, it always has been. I worked in nursing homes and assisted living facilities starting way back in the 1970’s. Cliques, gossip, cheating on your girlfriend/boyfriend, even a family moving one old lady out because they disapproved of her boyfriend(s)! I am 73, now, live in an over 55 apartment building and keep mostly to myself, and it isn’t bad. I pray I never have to move into a care facility.

[@stevest1300]

"Grandpa? What did you do before the internet was invented?" "is it soup tonight? I like soup."

[@grahammcfadyenhill9555]

Me, I was doing DNA chemistry, numb nuts.

[@GK1976A]

He's got a point. Most people are dull as dishwater these days.

[@ntdscherer]

Most people are always dull. Only the interesting ones are remembered.

[@commandercaptain4664]

Well, it's not like all old people know how to tell their stories in an interesting way.

[@pennyt2777]

He looks hot and homeless all at the same time wth

[@neggsta10]

Helen B Right!

[@hollistergal1011]

Helen B his hair used to be cut short and it looked good

[@iknowexactlywhoyouare8701]

He looks like Jesus

[@xenogorwraithblade2538]

Because the two are, without exception, mutually exclusive, right?

[@BL3SSed-Bliss]

I chuckled, upvoted, and moved on. Then...🤔 you got me thinking, so I returned... Are there hot homeless guys out there? I recall a set about this very thing.

[@emmacat3202]

"Here's a picture of my cat, and here is her instagram. She was a cute cat. She got 50 K followers".

[@delanmcloren6100]

... and now I can't remember which cat that wassss.....

[@thomasfristmd1876]

Hahahaha!

[@spoyledbratt]

So accurate

[@tylovell1086]

Seriously true! My late mother used to tell me stories about Venice High School, and how my Grandma would have the neighbor sew her poodle skirts and how she sang in the church choir and won most spirited in junior high! I was always so proud to be her daughter. That was my Mom's generation. I lived for those stories!! But what I really loved was my Grandma Muriel (anyone named Muriel here?), who was a beautician (not a stylist). She ran Nell's Beauty Salon where my sister and I would spend Saturdays watching her give permanents to women through the wired contraption in the ceiling!!! She took us to Sunday school and took in wayward girls. She taught us how to be truly kind, and made us feel so safe! SHe raised us more than our Mom did. Grandparents did that back in the day. We watched Shirley Temple and Lawrence Welk constantly! THOSE are classic moments. Today, we pay our seniors homage by forcing them to use OUR tech, Iphones and download apps for every damn thing in life. This is NOT how we should be thanking them for their lives!!! It just feels wrong. The best of times feel gone. Life was deep then...now it's as shallow as Kris Jenner. Now there's a pathetic senior citizen role model!!! I want Carol Burnett back! Life was rich then...

[@SwampDweller67]

Thanks for sharing that rambling nonsense, grandpa.

[@dingfeldersmurfalot4560]

Love Carol! Is she gone?

[@julienielsen3746]

@@dingfeldersmurfalot4560 Not yet.

[@VelcroKittie]

Not to be a party pooper and I hope I'm wrong, but I get the feeling that by the time I am in my 80's (over half way there) few young people will really give the elderly a whole lot of time. It's been getting progressively worse which is very sad.

[@Spumoon]

if it makes you feel more optimistic I just spent 2 months (as much personal leave as work would give me) living in with my 95 year old WWII vet grandpa. he's gone downhill quickly in the last year, I think in large part because he isn't using his oxygen as frequently as he should. I measured his OSAT as low as 49% at one point - as in half his blood cells weren't carrying oxygen. he doesn't feed himself. he's ready to die, but I tried to explain to him not taking care of himself is just going to make his last years more miserable as he voluntarily rots his mind and muscle tissue with oxygen starvation.

[@wge621]

:( I would really like to volunteer my time with old people (I hope that doesn't sound patronizing) but I'm not sure how or if that's possible with covid. Would love to hear stories from the past though

[@angelaesteban9090]

I am heading to my 50's, and I have it clear I am going to die like the old women who died in studio 54. I am going to keep smoking weed and have magic mushroom tea. All the guys in Rolling Stone's are still alive. Except the one who didn't do drug's or alcohol and was married 54 years.

[@69shakti]

Only in America…most other culture honor the elderly

[@cogitoergosumsc5717]

@@Spumoon My Grandmother died at 95. She had a hard life. Her daughter (my Mom) died at 47. She got married in 1931 at the height of the Great Depression. She had two miscarriages in those years. She had two open heart surgeries And on and on. She was mentally cognizant until the last days, but she wouldn't open her mouth to take her medication or eat or drink. She was mostly blind. She just wanted to die.

[@ThommyKane]

Grandma what was your job back then? "I was an influencer."

[@0r0r0]

And had an onlyfans on the side

[@jew_world_order]

Cam model

[@susanwarren9936]

😆🤣😆😅🤔

[@chrisdupree8382]

Grandchild: "what's an influencer grandma?" Well baby, it means i put on leggings that were 3 sizes too small and i shook my butt on these things called cell phones for all the world to see...

[@fulanichild3138]

Here's me driving to the supermarket. Here's me buying milk. Here's me in my kitchen unpacking the milk. Here's me...

[@mythhead2688]

Old People Now: “This tattoo? Got it in the army. My old buddies and I all got the same design the night before we were shipped to Vietnam. I was the only one in the group who made it out alive. Last time I saw all the tattoos together again was when I had to say goodbye to each of my friends. My brothers. No badge or medal I ever earned came close to this.” Old people in 70 years: “It’s Pickle Riiiick!”

[@soppingwetburgers6493]

Ahhhhhh yes my child, this little pickle is made of nightmares , he punishes children who dont eat their supper and comes to you in your sleep and force feeds you to death.

[@Vampwars]

🤣😭 Ain’t gonna lie, I horse-laughed. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go get my Pickle Rick tattoo 💚

[@faillblogkeyboardcat]

"It's Pickle Riiickk" *cough* *cough*

[@hemprope4326]

An old person would never say what war they fought in. Just, "The war."

[@iamyourtargetdemographic2154]

Deeeeeep...

[@cynthusinfinite]

He softens the blow with humour. Cold hard facts.

[@jamiebarringer4019]

It's interesting hearing 80 and 90 year old talk about their parents and grandparents. Can't remember what they had for breakfast. But they know everyone's biography.

[@charliewerchan7252]

Its called short term memory loss....It's like when you can sing all the lyrics of the songs of the 60's , but you don't know why you just came into a room in the house...

[@jezra4427]

Ikr

[@shittymcrvids3119]

I recently had a conversation with my 88yo grandma about her grandmother and how she was very formal. That woman was born in the 1860s. Very interesting!

[@crzyinzan3]

“Hey grama what’s that photo about?” “Oh that my dear child is the infamous Thirsty Thursday”

[@torugho]

Heh

[@Rowdycons]

Savage

[@BoneThugsRTheBest]

@Jak Stone really? Its just happy hour but on thursday

[@processinginformation]

Jak Stone tf is it?

[@Hygelac1000]

"Thirsty Thursday?" "And your dad was born nine months later."

[@cbarocio729]

By then those kids would be like “Ugh grandma. Photos? We use holograms now.”

[@lx2133]

Black Mirror vibes*

[@ezakustam]

We had good, cheap, flat holograms 36 years ago. We even had a 3D holographic video game 29 years ago. Society is in such a decline that most people don't even know that anymore.

[@broth7905]

@@ezakustam what? Name of the game please.

[@MyMagicCookie6]

@@ezakustam *x to doubt*

[@mindfulape8763]

@@ezakustam 'decline'. More like nobody actually wants that

[@matttypes2695]

I didn’t know the caveman from those Geico commercials did stand up.

[@jakobrose8278]

Yeah, I know, right? Not only did they invent the wheel, but also laid the foundations for comedy.

[@BaronVonQuiply]

Have some respect, that's our Lord and Savior - Canadian Jesus, eh?

[@kingofnothing1433]

Come on guys, of course the caveman from the Geico commercials did stand up comedy. It's so easy even a caveman can do it!

[@queenbee7786]

I like how he casually carries around the whole mic stand.

[@yetanotherjohn]

"Here is a photograph of a beach with my knees in the foreground."

[@londonoverground]

Or are they hotdogs?

[@monumento.f.501]

It depends on the length of the objective.

[@diane9247]

Lol!

[@asuka813]

Was definitely expecting a comment about photos of feet on various backgrounds 😄

[@kendelltwiss3673]

Kid: Granpda, what's this a picture of? Grandpa: Just Google it, Timmy.

[@Feelix420]

Kendell you at 69 likes... are you thinking what i am thinking?

[@jamiehusky8062]

Lol...i say that now and Im 50...its my way of not answering questions

[@jan.tichavsky]

Of course it's better to answer everything in your words but I see and hear many parents replying to the kid's question "I don't know" like they don't have a desire to find out. Today you can whip out the phone and 10 seconds later you get a result back and can both learn something new.

[@nrggvrn5576]

@Lee TV "google used to be a company until in 2030 it took information of billions across the globe and ruled over all countries for decades"

[@kj2532]

I don’t think google survives that long...or internet

[@michaeledwards2919]

Fantastic!! New comedian great subjects. Hope we see more of him😁😁

[@thomasrush2095]

The 'new' old people are intent on making their lives into speedruns, so I don't think too many of them will actually survive to be senior citizens.

[@BrokenNoah]

The worst ones will survive lmao

[@TheCephalus]

@@ST-cy6we The world is larger than just USA S T. However selfies I think are global.

[@tulangkerangka1599]

Lmao speedrun, true tho

[@kibblenbits]

@@ST-cy6we Well, I'm fat and 70, live on wooded acreage and still use my chain saw. Do my own repairs/maintenance on my home, vehicles and property, doubt you could keep up with me physically, or mentally, right now. My Aunt weighed 300 pounds most of her adult life, lived to be 89 and was as sharp as a tack till the day she died. Bet you won't reach that age, but if you do, your brain won't be functioning, as you're obviously not too bright at 55.

[@FloridaRaider]

Grandma's duck face photos

[@DANGJOS]

Lol!

[@andre1onate]

I'm still on my space

[@ariesrule2001]

Im dead😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Adeon55]

Lmfao

[@calebdavis5428]

That sentence in enough to strike the fear of God in Hitler himself O.o

[@spikewitwicky]

I'm mixed too. I'm black and dark black

[@thereisnopandemic]

spike witwicky oh, like the difference between night and later that night.

[@oostenmusic]

@@thereisnopandemic the difference between 9 pm and 2 am LMAO

[@kangkankrishnasarmapegu7789]

Green that's a color. Dark green means making green look more intense by making it look less lighter and more heavy by adding a dark color perhaps lets take black to mix with green which will make it more darker than it is i.e. less lighter than what it is now. So white. Let's make dark white. So we want to make it less white or less lighter white than what it is. So mix it with black. Voila we get a faint grey. But it still looks white. But its less bright white. So its dark white than what it previously was. Dark literally means go dark/unlit/night/no light just darkness. So dark white is basically white becoming less white. Similarly dark black means making black more black or more intense black. So the whitest of white is the brightest of white and the blackest of black is the darkest of black

[@HighOnCaffine9623]

My mom's dry sand and my dad's wet sand from within the ocean.

[@DaRealMCT]

@@thereisnopandemic Is that a Friends reference? 🤔

[@wertrag]

It's beautifully ironic that he is actually making fun of his and our future selves and we already hate ourselves about it.

[@mamumaumau7205]

Clever wertrag.....

[@evoltaocao5078]

speak for yourself. i don't take photos

[@dereksmith6318]

The 1st photograph was taken in 1826-27 The 1st Brownie camera from kodak the first semi-affordable camera wasn't until the '20s and the cost of film and prints was expensive all the way until the 80's when kodak introduce the that's why there's so many old photographs still around people took great care in preserving them.

[@dingfeldersmurfalot4560]

It's good to be ahead of the curve.

[@nyakwarObat]

@Stranded NYer exactly, it's a warning, not an absolute unless you continue with the current self entitled, self absorbed stupid shit

[@BeautyByAnneMarie]

So true! Side note: love his hair!!!

[@ElectroIllusion]

But as Jerry Seinfeld said, "Everyone loves hair until the second it's detached and stuck to the shower wall" - LOL

[@joshuaborem7063]

Wow that hair looks like a hindrance.

[@katwil89]

@@joshuaborem7063 It does look like it's high maintenance, but it's still cool.

[@markdemell3717]

It's funny and yet ,not funny!

[@GuyWithAnOpinion2]

At first I thought he was one of the cavemen from the Geico commercials.

[@chauvo2626]

"Here's the picture of myself with yoga pants on sticking my tongue out for no reason in public"

[@shineayandrews1869]

“Here’s me thotting it up, Jimbo”

[@firstnamelastname7959]

Yoga pants=you want people to see your labia... tongue=you want to lick someone elses labia. People are easy to read

[@lukadebeljak2485]

Nice Leon picture :)

[@noneofyourbusiness3341]

Additional Pylons lmfao!!💀😆

[@mendozarodriguez4195]

Old minimalist "I'd show you a picture but I threw everything out"

[@ablurboutique]

Iseline Rodriguez lmaoo

[@amazingperson326]

😂😂😂😂

[@kennethfrank8337]

😂🤣🥺🤢🤮

[@laconchade100]

Lol accurate

[@clarity9405]

that'll be me

[@LS-ly8gl]

So, I'm sat in a cafe alone. Just silently giggled my head of watching this! Brilliant!!!

[@writerinprogress]

To paraphrase the Stupid Deaths Guy from Horrible Histories: "It's funny 'cos it's true." But on the other hand, it's also depressing 'cos it's true.

[@janick01ify]

I lost it in public, when he said “here is a picture of my breakfast”

[@guynorth3277]

He really nailed that, very funny.

[@anncoffman4448]

Me (58yo): deleting ALL photos of my food off my phone NOW!

[@RandomHippieCreations]

@@anncoffman4448 hahaha! I love it 😄 Good for you!

[@lissam8988]

@@anncoffman4448 before my husband and I had a child, we had two cats. I have thousands of pictures of our cats. LOL 🤣 should I be worried.... LOL 🤣 And because of technology being able to take so many pictures I literally have probably more pictures of our son....And videos. Our son is a blessing to us because we tried so hard and had a very difficult time conceiving so I'm an older mom so I end up taking so many more pictures and now we have two more newer cats and well. I have over 5,000 pictures of cats and our son. LOL 🤣🤣🤣🤣 ....... Yep maybe I should worry. LOL 🤣

[@Mariamne62bgl]

@@lissam8988 Thanks for making me laugh! Can NEVER have too many pictures of children and cats (or dogs or rabbits or horses or what have you).

[@BonafideToolJunkie]

My dad is 94 years old. When he feels he's losing the argument, he calls 911. The police have been here at least 22 times. You'd think the police would arrest him for that...but they don't want to bring an old man into the station with a urine bag dragging on the floor. Ha!

[@notsureiL]

Lol great father 😊

[@Ranstone]

Well, TBH, if he's only lost 22 arguments at 94, he's doing ok. :3

[@melonyemane3474]

😂

[@liamcronin8110]

Time for dignitas

[@giraffesareselfish9563]

Damn, that's guiness

[@angelabluebird609]

This young man is hilarious! Thanks, I needed that.

[@nomiddlenamenmn427]

So many pictures. So little time to look at them. Hilarious video. Thank you.

[@ljgenes]

And here's an 8-second video of your great-grandma twerking to a Nicki Minaj song. Ah, that Nicki Minaj. They don't make music like that anymore...

[@sadlife8495]

lj. genes lmao

[@shae4043]

😂😂😂☠️

[@JDoggie034]

Thank God

[@JG-on2wx]

But for real, though, what's music going to sound like in 50+ years? 🤔

[@NLTops]

@@JG-on2wx Either compilations of random robot noises or post-apocalyptic slave songs.

[@braeduin]

"Awwww look at this one, this is the very first nude I sent your grandpa."

[@wickedwitt04]

Grandma you used to be hot. Oh nvm, it's just the filters and photoshop!

[@kyburke]

"Oh wow mommy! Will mine be that big one day?"

[@chikaka2012]

Ugh, gross. Glad I’ll be dead by then.

[@Mortequal]

@@Pyhantaakka 😁

[@richardjames1751]

I guess I'm getting old then... This comment section got fuckin weird

[@snagswolf]

Imagine the experience of going through Grammy's old trunk and finding that thumb drive with the naked selfies on it.

[@shittymcrvids3119]

Bruh, Imagine accidentally getting turned on

[@mistiinseattle]

Too funny and appreciated keeps it clean

[@SoraMotto]

"What's this one grandpa?" "Oh, this is from the Facebook event that killed everyone trying to raid Area 51. Memes were banned the next day"

[@thatguyman6044]

So sad

[@faiz3711]

That'd be great a story 😉

[@KrisRN23935]

SoraMotto I think that would result in a good story, a tragic one, but still.

[@nickrffpatellis852]

But then they made memes about the ban of memes

[@Aralis97]

ROFLMAO 😂😂😂😂😂

[@kaibaCorpHQ]

He forgot the 227 accidental screenshot pictures of my phones screen; I have so many of those accidental screenshots.

[@jasonmeadows8510]

This has started happening to me recently. Random screenshots, maybe one every other day or so, and I don't know why. It's a part of aging, I guess.

[@alah40]

I thought I was the only person who does that.

[@fitrianhidayat]

But how? Don't you have to press two buttons at the same time?

[@CliftonPhotographer]

Someone should create an app just for getting rid of those photos. I know there's an app for deleting empty folders so it's not a stretch.

[@SearchIndex]

KaibaCorp HQ or accidental ‘burst’ photos

[@cjp592]

This is true! I hang out with older people quite a bit. They’re hilarious and have a lot of stories. They understand life far better. They’re also very very interesting. I utilize my experiences with them as an opportunity to learn about history and life from those who already lived it.

[@echognomecal6742]

Definitely need to see more Lachlan Patterson

[@Brawndo2008]

"Here is a picture of the wing of a plane." I lost it there lol

[@daimosori]

i gotta delete a few lol

[@yasha12isreal]

Granddaughter: What's that grandma? Grandma: That's a screenshot of me catching your grandpa in a lie via text.

[@m.lynette6648]

Absurd Hero 😩😂😂😂😂

[@bloodcottoncandy1514]

Oh my stars 😲😱

[@Abitibidoug]

In my life I've met a lot of older people who were interesting to talk to with their stories and were willing to teach you many interesting things. I've also met others that were curmudgeons who bitched about you young people this, you young people that. I'm 60 years old now and aspire to be more like the kind with interesting things to say. I was the boy who said the emperor had no clothes on, and as such never followed fads, got caught up in conspicuous consumption, and otherwise lived how some marketers said I was supposed to live. Instead I've seen and done many interesting and fun things and have stories to tell. I recall a radio DJ said that it's not the person with the most stuff when they die who wins, but rather the one with the most and interesting stories to tell before they die. I couldn't agree more. Going forward, I need to find an effective way to pass on some of the wisdom and lessons I've learned to the younger crowd.

[@matijajuric7997]

As someone with many stories to tell, i allways thought about now and about the future... Memories gave me peace to live a better now for sure, but i am so hungry for more... I remember(hah!) exactly how and when i got this clarity.. It was when i watched total recall and some philosophical questions arose about selling memories in place of a real vacation... Simple, but promising premise... I am even worried about the fact we are so restless, we should never meet our goals... Species left to a perpetual journey

[@toodie535]

Moth Radio Hour --live stories told to an audience

[@nyakwarObat]

Continuously living in the past is a sign that you have not figured out life and how to live in the present

[@eacomedy]

Lachlan's been a favorite of mine for years! This bit is so great hahahaha dead

[@dumbfridge7576]

I’m definitely gonna sit down with some kids and go “I survived a pandemic! the horror!” and exaggerate when in reality I sat on my couch like a lazy, unhealthy human blob of flesh watching Netflix for months straight.

[@veemie8148]

Same.

[@solidthoughtpoker5207]

😂😂😂

[@Apudurangdinya]

save 2012 movies and told em i survived

[@guarddog318]

We haven't survived it yet. ...probably all die due to an angry mob of protesters though, rioting and burning everything down. I doubt it'll be because of any disease though. ... unless "stupid" is a disease. 😒

[@realglutenfree]

Hell yeah. I have so many things I can exaggerate a tiny bit to let it sound really cool. I even should start to write a fake diary.

[@CallmeDaddy21]

Imagine being old remembering your 16-year old self twerking on tiktok

[@kristinadk]

... and never being able to get rid of it

[@Xfranman]

And attempting to explain to your grandson that you were not having a major seizure.

[@donnahaynes4563]

Nope. Mobile phones & TicToc hadn't been invented yet when I was 16. 🤣

[@jew_world_order]

Those 16 year olds will remain that age mentally forever. None of them will have any meaningful jobs and will probably be living off the boyfriend/husband.

[@bassboosted9708]

and eating tide pods

[@jackharse]

This cracked a good smile out of me, thanks!

[@evelynovercash1147]

I laughed so hard. He's not wrong. And I'm an old person.

[@ravendevil9965]

Ahh..and here's the vines i saved...such a wonderful time it was

[@EternityKX]

"Here's a picture of my breakfast" Man that killed me 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@alexzais1935]

I'll resurrect you gorgeous

[@icns01]

LOL...Oh Lawd!! The best comedy is rooted in reality!! You can really visualise this coming..

[@skeeterchiggins]

Thank you, I needed a good wholesome laugh today.

[@HaightTheGreat]

This is depressingly hilarious.

[@calisongbird]

Or hilariously depressing...

[@ryynerwicked2762]

It really is on every level

[@testodude]

and sadly accurate

[@Sunny25611]

💯😂

[@MingWar_BalGlo]

I call it depraious

[@markyouneva7840]

why does this guy look like the handsome caveman featured in Geic0 TV ads?

[@memekodd]

No, he looks better than that...

[@hutchtv7640]

Lol why did i think the same thing!!??? (No homo!)

[@mgal6234]

Damn he’s got some good hair...

[@michaelbianchini6970]

ygm M.B.A..p]

[@Daizy10231023]

I THOUGHT THE SAAAAAME THING!

[@asmith7876]

Our 3 yr old extremely active granddaughter was POUNDING on the curved glass of an antique curio cabinet. Of course we stopped her, broken glass would slice her up, plus it's difficult or impossible to replace and THEN it struck ME...WE LIVE IN AN OLD PEOPLE'S HOUSE!!!!! WE HAVE SHIT THAT'S JUST FOR LOOKING AT!!!!! All downhill from here I guess! LOL

[@Memnoch67]

Never underestimate an old man that listens to Slayer.

[@CuRsEd_gamer-ot6pj]

Alot of slayer fans are already in their 70's and 80's, Tom Araya is 72

[@julianbluefeather8491]

The old people of today who are dying off are actually a very special generation. The retirement home that I work at has residents who were born in 1919! They lived through so many incredible things! They are so strong and interesting. We only have a tiny window left to spend tome with them ❤️

[@TydalWind]

@Glum Sullen your name is most apropos... a sad way to live life. Just remember... the Vast majority of people are Good - if it wasn't that way, our world would have ended LONG AGO....

[@cashkitty3472]

@Glum Sullen don't be daft. They probably were seeing there older brothers dying for your freedom. Have done respect hey

[@zamaz99]

The generation that fought WWII was pretty good. The Silent Generation that followed them sucks mightily (in general of course; exceptions abound). A lot of the white people I know who were born in the 30s-early 40s (parents' friends *cough cough*) turned out to be racist, sexist, entitled, greedy wilfully ignorant Fox News-believing assholes who think Trump was a good president. They don't give a shit about global warming or the generations coming after them -- they got theirs in the easiest economic conditions in history, so screw everyone else.

[@painkillerjones6232]

@@TydalWind Gotta agree, and I'm not exactly a "Mr. Positive" in my own right.

[@JohnSmith-wd9rc]

@UC3-1KhWPyv2pw7iMdDZz9uQ . You sound like the kind of woke twit this guy is talking about.

[@tisha2hip]

“What’s this grandpa?” “That’s a picture of me at my very first furry convention.”

[@benis9965]

cursed comment

[@benis9965]

@Blake L unless genetically engineered catgirls are made, if that happens there shall be no virgins on earth, just broke ass men paying the debt of having one made

[@andrewoid4711]

@Blake L there are furry couples

[@Kaz999998]

420 likes, you're welcome ;)

[@INJURYCOMP]

Now THAT was hilarious (and so true!)!

[@HeartlessRandomguy]

All too accurate XD

[@cigh7445]

Man, I'm nearly thirty, I'm still young, but I feel like a grandad talking to younger people who can't imagine the world pre-internet and pre-mobile phone in which I lived my childhood.

[@alienturtle1946]

Sounds about right, I'm 26 and feel like a dad around them

[@brandyf4088]

Then, you can't imagine being 52. Oy. Lol.

[@av201]

It was better back when kids actually played outside.

[@johndoe-wv3nu]

LOL life before cable TV, stores closed on Sunday, school doors left side open.

[@paulk5311]

you might not have had those but they were around. my childhood was during the 60's and i am glad we only had 3 channels on the tube and they all played soap operas during the day. we stayed outside all the time and did not have to put up with cable or satellite tv or video games. looking back i am glad i did not have those choices.

[@lilcumstain5704]

imagine walking through a neighborhood in 2074 and seeing a grandpa sipping coffee in the morning while listening to gucci gang or some shit im not ready chief

[@isaiahcampbell3992]

Im crying. This would be hilarious.

[@andylane3739]

In 20 yrs I'll be listenimg to Discharge whilst sipping my herbal tea

[@thehellyousay]

I'm old enough to be a grandad, half my friends are grandads, and we listen to motörhead, loudly as per regulations...

[@Respect2theFallen]

Lmfao me neither I seriously thought about that the other day future old people vibing to mumble rap and saying "back in my day this was a banger"

[@davecrupel2817]

"i didn't sign up for this sh!t!"

[@slicky1_1]

funniest ever. i wish there was a full version of this

[@CBCComedy]

If you're in Canada, you can check out more from this set on the CBC Gem app (it's from the Halifax ComedyFest): gem.cbc.ca/media/halifax-comedy-festival/s23e06

[@robynboyd2583]

Love it!😂

[@Theturtleowl]

I love the old people who are so old and just don't give a damn about anything of anyone anymore. I love listening to their rants. My grandmother was great at that.

[@carrrexx7190]

Well, I'll tell you what. I don't give a damn about your comment.

[@youtoo2233]

For many people it starts at middle age, you start giving a shit less and less about things that bothered you to death when you were young

[@cellgrrl]

But the leftists will chastise them for being offensive.

[@csmlyly5736]

For some people it starts in your teens when you stop caring about the frivolities of youth like getting out of bed or eating balanced meals and see deep into the empty nonchalance of life ahead.

[@BroncoJ]

@@cellgrrl always some fool whos gotta bring left or right into it. Your an angry republican we get it jeez. No need to wave it around

[@ThisHandleFeatureIsStupid]

People: "If you keep smoking cigarettes, you'll die young and miss out on the future." Me: **doubles cigarette intake**

[@dannygjk]

*Starts smoking big black cigars*

[@hemprope4326]

@@dannygjk *Puts cigarettes into every hole in my body*

[@thebeasters]

Throw some vape in there for good measure

[@caseyvee4419]

Glad you said that, and in the past 10 months since you posted, shit has gotten much worse. I was talking with a bunch of guys my age (70 +/-) and we kind of agreed that if trends continue that it may be a blessing that our years are getting short.

[@Automedon2]

@@caseyvee4419 Trends continue? I'm 63 and I'm scared to see what's coming down the pike in 5 years. I'm about ready to check out.

[@jackiehoughton9727]

Spot on 🤣😂💯💜

[@drhandle4498]

Give it another 30 years, and I can't wait for the aged care staff to be gritting their teeth as we golden oldies demand to listen to that Motorhead playlist again for the nth time.

[@1979WURST]

Exactly. I'm in my mid 40's and ever since I was 15 or so I imagined what would become of all the metalheads when we enter our 60s-80s. Would we still being listening to old Slayer and Cannibal Corpse albums in our 70's?

[@Grumpy_old_Boot]

@@1979WURST yes, yes you will, but you will be forced to wear your hearing aid, instead of just cranking up the volume ... Aunt Etna in room 407 needs her sleepies, you know ?

[@eyeseer1]

80 year olds sitting in flannels listening to Nirvana on the radio and demanding a Discman for their hearing aids. It'll be a hip, cynical day.

[@Daves_not_here]

@@1979WURST Spot on. I’m in my 60s and I LOVE heavy music. Funeral Tears, Sleep, Pig Destroyer, Cattle Decapitation.... the list goes on. Stay Heavy. Peace

[@toodie535]

I'll be the boomer demanding the Motown playlist

[@frankzavala8605]

"Heres a picture of my breakfast" automatically pressed like on the video 😂

[@winecrimesfoodandtime7119]

I take pictures of my food but that's because it's an actual group old fashioned cooking. It's not like I'm going to keep those pictures to show my grandkids.

[@fartzerelli1385]

This guy just roasted that whole audience, and they all laughed.

[@kelle0285]

You have to be a good sport

[@RIPdixiecarter]

Its almost like its a comedy show or something

[@normanlabat5335]

@ Fart That is the object of a roast. People get to view the humor in serious situations. We need more humor and much less woke. 30 years from these woke people will be laughing at their own stupidity, if they don't go insane in the mean time....I THINK!

[@ygerman1539]

Nobody there is going to be alive in the next 50yrs

[@xomthood]

good humor is always is always grounded in truth

[@mlb6d9]

This is SO SPOT ON! LOL

[@amadd5641]

Bwahaha 🤣😂🤣 that was gold!

[@leonardbreau8928]

Your grandkids will be wearing t-shirts saying " ok generation Z"

[@kj2532]

Ok zoomer

[@CryonicArrow]

Or ok millennial.

[@elainal6847]

"Gen Zzzzz's ain't woke"

[@LB-wp2ep]

Okay G.Z. ...

[@w8w8whatnow95]

“Here are the screenshots of every bill I paid online in 2019.”

[@LexingtonB09]

😂😂😂

[@angelwingz892]

Omg this too accurate

[@markmagnolia]

this is gold

[@questionablehistorian9335]

I can't wait to see an 80 year old man in skinny jeans.

[@crazyoldbroad4871]

How about an 80 yr old woman with a tramp stamp

[@awt1989]

get ready everyone; its OTW

[@Tecolote41]

crazyoldbroad No one with a tramp stamp will live to see 80

[@nauticalcandy]

Mick Jagger...

[@DanteNDigitalis]

Give it a few years, The Rolling Stones can't be too far away from that age. 😋

[@sorrito7]

I was laughing but this is actually sad 😢

[@calziz]

It's sad and true at the same time

[@MissHMSilk]

1:53 😆 Nitrobladex... it’s funny cuz it’s true ... that’s your pic right now ...

[@zebontheweb]

MissHMSilk 🤣 😂 🤣

[@friedchicken1]

I criaughed

[@AeromaticXD]

To be honest, I imagine most of those photos would not survive

[@kurtoelmann7745]

A lot of truth in what this man says....leave it to comedians to sometimes have the best insight.

[@Liminal-Escalator]

Makes sense, being aware of all the evil in the world is painful, so learning to laugh at things is a good way to cope with it and help others in the process of enjoying yourself.

[@kurtoelmann7745]

@@Liminal-Escalator It is amazing that people can find humour to cope with dark, sad realities sometimes, I agree. The alternative is deepening sadness, which I wouldn't wish on anyone.

[@ebrena1876]

Love it!

[@jamieott3093]

I went to an Alice Cooper show some time ago. Old folks know how to party. Seventy somethings getting high AF indoors. No one saying a word about it. Everyone chill, no fights.

[@mahaswetachakraborti8309]

I got hit on by an old dude at an Alice Cooper concert.

[@JamesHartnell]

Youngsters like to think they invented partying

[@thebeasters]

Well they don't want to throw their back out

[@emperorpalpatine9897]

I got to see Alice Cooper at a concert back in 2017. I remember everyone cheering when they started wheeling out all the props for "Feed my Frankenstein". Awesome, cherished life moment 😁

[@janosk8392]

@@mahaswetachakraborti8309 Probably meant to hug you but got confused at the last moment.