The power of listening | William Ury | TEDxSanDiego

[@cocoacoolness]

I never realised how bad i was at listening until i actually tried to listen better. It's great because when people can see you're actually listening they open up more and trust you more.

[@johnnyxhusbands4921]

How do you actively practice?

[@samuelbigirimana6048]

Hello William. Thank you for good presentation. Listening revolution. I am with you

[@tarawalsh7045]

Yes, it is one of the greatest gifts we can give one another. In therapy, therapists learn (good ones anyway) the powerful healing that simply allowing another person to speak and be heard has. That is really the core of our core connection with each other, a seed that slowly grows into the flower of friendship.

[@asilikarainima3977]

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[@abhishekbaswaraj6624]

​@@samuelbigirimana6048 k

[@afgFreeform]

The hardest part about empathic listening is the ability to leave your ego at the door. This guy seems to have mastered that one...

[@danadamn5931]

I am so happy that this is a part of my homework, this talk was impressively good, I actually never listened to somebody so intentionally. It was extremely interesting, thanks a lot to William Ury

[@cuongpham2960]

"After all, listening is how you read people." This talk made my day. I gained so much insight from it.

[@KeiterMediationLLCOklahomaCity]

This 16 minute video is without a doubt the most powerful TEDx talk I've ever heard. William Ury shows what really listening to others looks like, why it's so hard to do, and the powerful benefits of listening!

[@NewMetallica]

Stephen Covey really covered it all in one quote: "Listen with the intent to understand, not with the intent to reply"

[@angelaluna4401]

Best Ted talk ever. Thanks

[@tarawalsh7045]

That is a great truth. Thanks for that!

[@liemhuynhthanh7599]

His English sound good. Because I am Vietnamese, and listen to TED Talks are so harddddd, this is the first video that I could listen every single word. Thank you

[@sanailayasawa318]

Liem Huynh Thanh z

[@lindaturner9680]

I enjoyed his style of presenting. He speaks slowly so we can really understand him. When deciphering a second language, it's always difficult to understand when people speak rapidly. It is the same with visual communication. I can express myself in American sign language (ASL), but have a hard time understanding complicated messages from those for whom it is their first language. Sentences are not grouped as written or spoken English. Can be frustrating!

[@lutherprater8243]

YES

[@Shafiullah.S]

I'm indian but his English easy to understand me as well

[@vietmom-monannuocngoai7129]

hi Thanh, I am Vietnamese too. it is nice to see my people who listen to the same person as me.

[@tarawalsh7045]

I was married to someone who always talked over me. I have never been considered at all meek or quiet but after awhile I realised I just gave up trying to talk. So, I then found that, over a time, several people described me as a 'good friend' and I think I was though I didn't think we were friends. Not one of them could have said two things about me beyond my name and the colour of my hair perhaps. They talked a lot and never listened or showed any interest in others. I knew every minute detail of their lives. But that was their major talent in a way: talking. At least they were both good storytellers but I knew I had to get my own voice back or feel alone and isolated forever, which is awful suffering, esp around people. I am a sociable person, care about people, I pay attention, I remember things and respond to what they are saying or feeling. But, of course, I also wanted to have a friend and as soon as I tried to speak to either of them they talked over me and I had to just leave and disconnect from them. For a long time I wondered if something I was doing was wrong since I had never had this issue before. One day it just struck me that I wasn't doing anything wrong but, in fact, listening and responding, paying attention is a valuable social skill. I think every one has to learn this in order to learn. From when we first start school we have to learn to be quiet and pay attention. I am so happy that there are others that value this skill and know that developing it is the key to genuine connection with one another.

[@Dt-bu8pw]

I have encountered this more times than I can shake a stick at. One of my friends ds called me her ‘backbone’ yet told her partner she knew very little about me. Because, she never listened and constantly monopolised the conversation to talk about herself. People can be infuriatingly narcissistic. People like us have a skill they will never understand. I tend to distance myself when people take advantage

[@dalehilltopfarm]

Certainly one of the most effective Ted Talks I've listened to on KZbin. Outstanding.

[@hamdullahbayram1961]

Dale Myers o

[@letitiahill2982]

I absolutely agree with you...

[@christianmcdonald7746]

i could not agree more!!!

[@Thadalt]

i see what you did there

[@JuliusJLevy]

This is one of the greatest truth ever spoken on this or any other platforms. I talked about this in my organisation for years and some think I’m mad. If we only listen some more. My primary school principal once told me “A good listener becomes a good learner” Thank you for this

[@randiaz95]

love they way he speaks, very calm and collected.

[@rhondaspencer]

When we LISTEN, we validate the worth of the other. Bill says it so well. If we could all learn to truly listen, I do believe the world would be a much more peaceful place.

[@dometilavillafuerte5783]

F c.

[@jayveeamolato9429]

True!!

[@tedbkd1]

Rhonda Spencer NOT listening is the most overlooked cause of mental disorders

[@madelynsuzuki5771]

Rhonda Spencer sontrue

[@Changeworld408]

Rhonda, you listened well but didn't read well. His name is William, not Bill

[@PursuitofPossibility]

You don’t talk your way to the top. You listen your way there. What a great talk!

[@marlonyt7225]

E

[@victorderojas3816]

I completely agree with William Ury's speech, the power to listen is even stronger than the ability to speak. Not only for the negotiations, as mentioned in the talk, but also for our daily lives. William mentions that negotiations consist mainly of listening, not speaking. Good negotiators are good listeners. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Listening help us to understand the other, it helps to connect with the other human being, it helps us build rapport, it build trust, it shows we care, and it helps us to get yes. We are accustomed to listen as we think of ourselves (we agree, we do not agree), (what am I going to answer?) We should listen by putting ourselves in the other person's place, and paying absolute attention.

[@vedantgore1604]

Thank you victor I got the summary from you🫡

[@rora8503]

The listening is so true. When I really pay attention and listen, I feel like my mind connects with the others on a completely different level. It's like all ideas and thoughts I have fit perfectly like puzzle pieces together.

[@leewhalley6161]

This is literally what they teach you in person centred counselling active listening it changes everything.

[@mspussthecat]

This should be taught in schools. Thank you, Mr. Ury - I'm all ears!

[@lesliecapalac5037]

The gift of being heard, that sounded nice when Ury shared that. I personally am guilty of not being so good at listening and have work to work on it. I love how he shares the good that comes from listening on how it builds trust, connection, and an easier way to get to yes between two people. *snaps

[@ronjones96]

I honestly can say this is one of the best Ted Talks I've listened to on KZbin. Absolutely Brilliant.

[@maureenschloskey8320]

Thank you for carrying the torch and being a staunch advocate to the power of Listening. It's a truly human language that we speak, and I will walk side-by-side with you in this listening revolution. I'm honored to know you and to follow you.

[@HồngLuyến-h9l]

I love not only the content but also the way he delivered his speech. He really knew how to make others listen to him, and I can listen to him for hours 😊 Such a powerful TED talk!

[@alexandrepalermosimoes]

Only when we engage in genuine or active listening, we permitt ourselves to cacth what the other is really trying to talk about and also some important things that the other believe in, even if not expressely said in his or her own speech. We listen to the sometimes hidden interests or needs, we give a chance to understand the other and to create common ground for more understanding. It is always wonderful to listen Bill Ury!

[@fikaimu]

Listening is without the double most important skill in communication skills. Many of us know that but still find it difficult to put in in practice enough actually. The part that he mentioned we have to truly listen to ourselves first for the better listening was eye-opening for me.

[@cynthiafriedman2534]

With those who are powerful with listening (& patience)nothing changes. Even though, i.n my small world I will still continue to listen w/o expectations or an agenda. Thank you for this important TED talk.

[@wajihaahmed3470]

Outstanding. I usually struggle listening to people and I am actually trying to become a better listener, so glad that I came across this.

[@yadanarkyaw284]

Thanks for your talk show. We forget the listening of power. Anywhere people encourage talking than listening. This video gives me about listening. Not only learning English but also gives thinking.

[@pavelrahman4314]

''Listen to the human being behind the words'', superb! Of course, I myself will try to apply all of the points in my daily life.

[@aclasscali]

someone on youtube recommended a book called “the lost art of listening” that was the most eye opening sobering book i ever audiobooked. I was able to improve so many things in life related to listening. I dont give advice anymore unless something super urgent or i am being asked but if i can tell you thing please read the above book. It will change your life for good on so many levels.

[@honeysunday]

This was assigned in my social work class and I thought this was brilliant

[@JesusBelieverDiane]

I have shared this video at my agency. I also shared it on facebook. Right now with all the conflict going on in America all we are dong is defending our side of the issues. We need to share this everywhere

[@AhmedGamal-np1yr]

It is not just a great TEDx Talk; it has one of the most significant introductions ever, which hooks you up to the video during the first minute.

[@PatrickMemoli]

This guy did rise communication's standards at his very top level!

[@hiteshlamba8535]

One of the best talks on Listening. My teacher Guru Nanak said, if you can master art of listening, you can even trick death :)

[@Ten-ol7nc]

How it can trick death? Please elaborate

[@anneboyle2951]

There's no tricking death

[@voidisyinyangvoidisyinyang885]

yes a good book on the secret of listening is "Taoist Yoga: alchemy and immortality" - it's free online

[@shannonnolan7002]

👍 Like he said, to be a really good listener we first have to listen to our bodies. And if we listen to our bodies, maybe we will discover inconsistencies and prevent illnesses?

[@janellwagner7008]

My son listened to this and had to take notes on it for homework and it is helping him to listen more!

[@alancox2347]

This is one of the absolute best TED talks you can every listen to. But, if you just listen to Ury nothing will change. Fo forth and listen. :)

[@Bronxtobrooklyn]

I loved this vlog I felt as he was talking to me personally. He said a lot of things that really hit home for me. The power of listening is so powerful.

[@philomath67]

Some of the best national interviewers are those that let the interviewee talk. I saw a good example of that the other day with Piers Morgan being interviewed on Fox News. The interviewer didn't try to steal the show.

[@AntiDogmatism-f8k]

But Piers Morgan isn't good at listening

[@taydatay8571]

Exactly how I build most of my relationships with people just listening it gets me a long way I promise

[@wayward03]

I wish I had noticed earlier that I am not doing a good job at this. Probably going to take a lot of practice and work to get good at it.

[@Julius_Paul]

I purchased GETTING TO YES many years ago. William Ury is second to none regarding negotiation tactics. His personality is an added bonus - calm, straight forward, minimal emotion. Most speakers use varying degrees of passion to "convince" the audience into believing their theory, to "sell" their theory, but not William. Speakers that rely on heavy underlying passion are doing so because they feel the "need" to sell their concept . They are worried the concept cannot sell itself. They lack confidence in the concept (regardless of how confident they "appear"), hence their underlying "passionate" requirement. Intellectuals to best learn from are people like William Ury - people who speak in a 'matter of fact' tone, efficiently, without meandering into tangents, and without having to convince with a passionate emotional voice or over-emotional gestures.

[@hannewulp]

Oooh, I love to hear this. Plus, he says it himself: quiet your own mind first when you notice you have a lot going on internally. Those highly emotional (passionate) talks are just not always necessary, especially in Ury's case. If it's true that we don't remember what ppl said, but we remember how they made us feel, then for me this is exactly how you describe him: calm and straight forward.

[@kansasvmax94]

My god finally somebody else that sees the true disconnect of the "connected" era we claim to be in. The skill of listening has proven to be one of the most powerful tools in my career and life that I could ever use. Great TED talk to LISTEN too.

[@minhtho3]

I feel like I have a problem with listening, because I only feel energetic when I am talking in a communication.when I am silent to listen, it’s really difficult for me because there are many questions and thoughts on my head. I am really disappointed about myself. But this video gives me motivation and knowledge for a change, for the clearness of my weaknesses. Thank you Ted and the speaker for such a life treasure lesion

[@shravanir9522]

This video is such a good wake-up call for every individual to reconnect with the fundamental aspects of life.

[@maclover1524]

I am and have been for over 40 years a proponent of active listening - listening without judgment, without thinking of how you might answer whatever the person talking to you is about to say, reflecting back to the speaker what they just said to clarify that you understood and to help the speaker realize you actually are listening, last but most important, listen with empathy. I used these techniques during 2 huge disputes in an organization I was in at the time. Tempers had been flaring and glaring - hot! I was asked to come in and see if I could diffuse and help bring peace. I used the techniques that William Ury, myself, and others advocate - the true power of listening. It's like a miracle! You won't believe it until you practice and use these techniques. After helping settle the two different disputes I mentioned above, I received multiple hugs from both sides of the fray. I had been able to diffuse both of those angry disputes that heretofore appeared to be impossible to settle. Try it...You'll love it!

[@bnavya14]

Why to listen: 1. to understand what other thinks 2. To connect with other and they feel they are heard 3. They will listen to your point also 4. When someone is listened truly, we can listen their unspoken words and feelings 4. To understand the word unsaid, to understand the feeling unspoken How to listen Focus/spot light should be on the other person than us while listening Listen to self,Before any talk, take few deep breathe, you will go in awareness mode You will not react as you are aware of your emotions You should give full focus to that person No distraction thing that time Don’t speak until required Give full attention to other person They should feel they are heard Be a true listener

[@Hugo411]

The best result of this Practice? Discovering and Uncovering who is the Narcissist in your Orbit. I now need a Ted Talk on how to communicate when one party dominates and is a full-on Narcissist .

[@paulbrucker3345]

He's a great talker and not just a great listener. Comes across as extremely likeable.

[@thamizhi6819]

I really clapped. Listening to his speech will really have positive impact in all aspects of my life

[@gcwosny]

Listen is harder then looks like. Amazing. Simple and deep!

[@samofficial15]

It is the 1st time for me who listen to the whole ted talks without skip or pause...

[@medicalthinker1880]

Listening is key to end up any conflict , misunderstanding, misconceptions, confusion, and to increase the power of understanding, personality development, so this is the power of listening 👍

[@Rnurse1000]

It’s unbelievable speech. Thank you so much for emphasizing the importance of listening skill. I really learned a lot on your speech and to be honest with you, I failed my english test before,but with the help of my listening skill, I realized that it is really essential to develop our listening skill.

[@thebestsongstorelax4810]

Mr. Ury your speech made a big difference in my life. Thank you a million.

[@jemartejero7536]

Truly, active listening can create an effective means of communication. You are giving opportunity to the person to be heard and understand his or her emotions. Great content!

[@sabrinalai2147]

This argument is very upright and full of hope! I love it! Thank you!

[@Ed-vi8lj]

This certainly is how we should listen. The problem is many of us become lazy and are just hearing the words. We need to actively make an effort to understand the needs of who we're talking with

[@painfullyhonest]

This is a great place to start and he speaks to something called restorative practice and restorative justice as well as Compassionate listening as well as conscious discipline. Listening is a start and the language we use in response to what we heard is THE KEY. Certain language has to be used to determine if the person is in a place for deepening questions or just needs to feel heard. That's the tricky part that he is needs to talk about in his next red talk.

[@ansariazeez1327]

Urry, explains the value of being heard and listen to ourselves and others ... Listening is all about how we treat people 👍 One of the biggest gift to human being is to be heard. ..❤️

[@JamieTest-em8ed]

Your video is a required viewing for my Oregon State University MBA program. I am glad I got to watch this. It makes me want to work on my listening skills.

[@krishnadaiya2788]

The talk reminds us that listening is as important as speaking. Very effective!

[@Jan_Kat]

This guy is incredible! This is an eye opener to me.

[@GurjeetSingh-z5h]

Listening is the key to open the door of our relationship.. It is the best line of this video..

[@shengkae2182]

He is amazing and i truly enjoy his speech. Thank you!

[@hunterpaul8777]

I'm not sure if someone has mentioned it already but what he's referring to is mindfulness. Being mindful and practicing mindfulness (meditation) will allow you to cut through the noise in your head and to be able to focus intently on the person that's speaking. Also, when he talks about experiencing different sensations in the body and letting them go, that is mindfulness mediation playing out in real time.

[@colleencallahan3170]

My highest praise to you, sir; I fully support you. It is refreshing to hear you speak so eloquently of the power and the great valu e of Listening. Thank you!

[@anasabariz]

Palestra maravilhosa, de a delicadeza de quem sabe o oficio de escutar. E uma frase que vou trazer comigo: ESCUTE O SER HUMANO POR TRÁS DAS PALAVRAS. Gratidão por compartilhar seus ensinamentos!❤

[@lubatista4119]

Que delicadeza, que profundidade. Foi um prazer te escutar!

[@MaryClaireArgonsula]

thank you so much Mr William Ury... This really inspired me, May God Bless You Always... Continue to bless others by sharing this wonderful words of wisdom... 😊😊😊

[@user-pu5ce4ig5e]

My teacher showed us this in class to discuss and it was honestly life changing

[@ParitimeSchool]

🌹🌹🌹🌹 He who can do this... Has the whole world with him

[@stephaniedrown203]

thank you for giving me the opportunity to listen to this wonderful speech. i especially related to the part where Mr. Ury emphasises the importance of listening, really listening so that you can hear the human beneath the words. i agree that we often focus on what we are going to reply instead of listening to waht is being said or shown us. i vow to listen harder!! An excellent speech by a warm, sympathetic speaker.

[@dharmendratiwari9452]

Joys in his eyes, solved his on mind. . As i think this is part of meditation,awareness of thoughts, and he practiced, understood and applied.

[@cactus9067]

I’m doing master’s programme away from my home country, being surrounded by such insightful classmates from over 25 nationalities. Here I am struggling to hear what they say in class, and I thought it was because of my poor English proficiency. But this video made me realize that I tried too hard to listen to their words and not their unspoken words. Also, my mind must have been very busy with trying to cope with the situation and what I could respond to them, which preventing me from actively listening to them. I’m sure it’s not easy to practice what’s said in the video but I would love to try out and see how it goes! Thanks for the great lecture!

[@ademolakamar3968]

This is great. It can't be said better. Thank you Will.

[@pacoaranha]

William Ury is a great human being before being an expert in any other area.

[@sarahbull9884]

I hear you. Thank you for helping me to appreciate the power of listening.

[@alimurtaza7821]

I have never learnt this much by any ted talk.

[@RossCreations]

I love this dude

[@killercheff1148]

RossCreations I watched this after viewing your video... this has really helped me!!!

[@patriciaoffer9585]

RossCreations Your comment expresses your love for this video's speaker, William Ury....

[@cobrapate]

AYOOO I came here from a homework assignment and found Ross.. wtf

[@RydogLabs]

im watching this in class right now and just randomly see a ross comment 😂that's hilarious

[@dancarrison9354]

Me, too!

[@senthilandavanp]

Truly needed forever. I have been trying to improve my listening skills everyday

[@chiteshshivmohun3263]

Listening is the most powerful form of acknowledgement.

[@florinpopa8638]

Thank you for a very effective talk. Indeed we learn how to speak but really how to listen. "Listening is often the only thing needed to help someone". Again thank you William Ury!

[@jaskirat9042]

After a lot of time of failure I finally figured out the problem with me. I want to speak not listen I'll try my best to start listening

[@ROHITYADAV628]

Best of Luck for new better start

[@rosaroja4208]

I am the same way. I know I need to change. I never let people stop talking when I catch myself jumping in. I always feel like if I don't speak at the moment, I am gonna forget what I want to say 😩😟

[@larix77]

Same

[@lillady7900]

Me toooo i dont want too be this way anymore im really trying to connect with my man we've been tpgether for a few years and its gotten worse and worse between us . I guess im still not communicating my desires to truly know what he needs and wants from me ,mto him

[@GRACIELOU21]

This is very informative and thought provoking. If you haven't watched this yet.....put it on 1.25x for the speed. Itll help :)

[@sleepyinsomniac0]

Thank you for telling me this! I had to watch it for school as homework and this makes it so much better! :D

[@GRACIELOU21]

Glad I could help!

[@GRACIELOU21]

Not the case for me. For a speed of 1x, waiting for the next word to come is distracting. 1.25x was a good pace and I comprehended the message.

[@Peacemakerblue]

LOL he was a boring talker though but good information

[@matchhunter6055]

because he is a good listener...

[@hannewulp]

Yes, to listening! Also, to quiet your own mind first. So start with listening to yourself, let go of any negativity, then listen to the other.

[@LaurenHuleis]

This video has been an eye-opener on the effect of listening and how it is important to listen to the other side.

[@chantalhenderson6994]

So important to really listen to the person you are talking to. Very important in validating what the other is saying.

[@kcd7836]

Listening should be mutual. We all talk because sometimes we were not heard as kids with authoritarian parents, at work etc. But yes being more present and opening up a space for dialogue to take place. Mutual listening

[@michelepennacchio4020]

Very inspiring. He is also enticing listening through his smiling attitude...

[@positivelife3729]

Wait ,let me clear the message here 😅 if you going to open the lock door Make sure key you are carrying , another option may have to open the door without key ... might be done by a machine or a iron so on ...😄 .... When you gonna talk with any participate in your communication , Don't forget to take the key /listening skill with you 😄 otherwise your door/communication will be broken without the key also ... 4 tips to master in listings - ask questions whatever you have listened consciously - use the words "I see" , I got it , yeah, that cool. - don't forget praising section 😎 whether it is tiny or big For instance - wow man you nailed it 👏👏how did you do that ?😄 - keep in mind your expression while listening 👊 - final point is your final result after listening, just wait for the compliments of participate 😄😄👊 Thank you for being attentive here All the best...

[@digitalmarketingempire4280]

Listening is a true powerful skill that must be developed through practice . Thank you for this amazing talk

[@ThisTimingIsPerfect]

William i believe what you wanting to communicate is this....I Am Listening and You are why. Am i correct in my Assumption of that? If that IS infact what you are saying, then i also believe that what you are wanting to communicate at the actual core of the message is that we are already Listening and speaking to eachother and we already have a system to learn to do teach this to our kids and this ted talks is a god example of it. You are the speaker that is communicating a message and all of us are listening. Its 2 different perspectives of the same thing. I like the simplicity of your message and how easy it was to understand. Well done. Thank you. I also have been listening to as many points of view as possible to attempt to get to the "root" of so many major conflicts i see in society in order to help mediate and resolve things and help people be happier in life. As of right now it is my belief that this is So important and watching your talk Molly helped me to finally find a huge part of the cause of things but also helped me to realize Solutions enjoy vacation and also that it's something that we're already doing naturally on our own into each other. Just the active me watching this video and listening to you helps me to understand your point of view, and my response here is in return giving you my point of view. Of course that's probably way over complicated version of saying to you that I agree

[@maxwellranasinghemx622]

Prof. Ury your presentation is great. I read your book "Getting to Yes" more than 20 years ago. I really helped me to negotiate and also to teach many others about the principled negotiation. This Ted talk further enhances the knowledge and skill that I need to improve. I recommend all to have this vide played before any serious discussion takes place to take a decision i as we do not see good listeners now in boardrooms and other forums formed to take vital decisions

[@dawnthompson9149]

His voice is so clear and consiece

[@vishwaparikh9281]

One of the best tedtalk i have ever listened. Absolutely enlightening.

[@selfelements8037]

4:22 - 5:39 - 10:08 - 12:12 - 14:51 "Listen to the human being behind the words."

[@xavierg2234]

Jesus Christ puh leez

[@manuazcune4550]

estoy un 99% seguro que esta TEDTalk me cambio la vida

[@sukhdeep_sran]

When you're listening your focus comes to you, your ears and when you speak your focus needs to be on the person you talking to..

[@rahulthakare9782]

There should be one TED listen show!

[@bellamovies5326]

Communication is an aspect of our existence that is highly undervalued. We often fail to realize that effective communication requires both a sender and a receiver. Additionally, we often overlook that communication is not only about the verbal but also significantly about non-verbal communication. And let’s not forget about communication in both the narrow and broader sense. In short, communication is challenging, and few people communicate effectively. However, even if we were to master all the elements of communication, we would still need to execute the purpose of the communication effectively.

[@Anand-N]

Is it just me or William Ury's ears look different. Is this what is giving him Super human listening skills? This aside, thanks for this amazing Ted talk that stresses the importance of the most essential skill that we often take for granted - "Listening" If you see someone in depression or sad and that needs help...don't go and try to talk, but listen, listen to all what they have to say... It will take time before opening up, but wait and continue to listen

[@mtm00]

Sad that it needs to be said ... and I am full of appreciation for his commitment to peace and sharing it.

[@manjunathtiwari63]

Very true, listening the short cut to study, in the most ecnomical and accurate