The RED FLAGS In Dating You Should NEVER IGNORE! (Spot A Liar) | Vanessa Van Edwards

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On Today's Episode:
You may have heard this advice at some point in your life, “don’t listen to what people say, watch what they do.” Nonverbal communication can be more authentic and transparent than the things we verbally communicate. Vanessa Van Edwards, behavioral investigator, reminds us that nonverbal communication and cues can also send the wrong message if a person is nervous or anxious. In her latest book, Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication, Vanessa explores over 90 cues that will help you become more effective in your communication efforts and perceptive to areas that require more attention or follow through.
Check out Vanessa Van Edwards new book, Cues: amzn.to/3leaa1j
Don’t miss Vanessa’s last episode with Lisa, “Are They Lying to You”: • Body Language EXPERT S...
SHOW NOTES:
Blindsided Cues | When you’re missing cues being shown while focused on your delivery [0:44]
4 Kinds of Cues | Vanessa shares four cues: nonverbal, verbal, vocal, and imagery[2:29]
Imagery Cues | Vanessa explains how to use them to get your message across effectively [3:14]
Goals of Cues | Trying to assess warmth and competence to speed up your connection [8:10]
Listening Cues | Vanessa shares why watching people listen is more telling of their cues [10:00]
Warmth Cues | Why trust and reliability are important cues and the power of a slow nod [13:15]
Danger Zone Cues | How to spot danger zone cues and handle it when you see them [17:12]
Lip Purse Cue | Vanessa explains why lip pursing is a red fag and how to address it [18:33]
Lower Lid Flex | Vanessa describes why this cue that can be positive or negative [22:06]
Question Inflection | Vanessa explains why vocal inflection clues you to deception & lies [24:14]
Shark Tank Case Study | Vanessa shares cue insights on Jamie Siminoff’s pitch [28:02]
4 Space Zone | Vanessa breaks down how to use the 4 space zones to your advantage [32:58]
Fronting Position | Vanessa explains the importance body, toe, and seating position [37:30]
Context & Clusters | Vanessa shares why context matters and cues cannot be isolated [42:25]
Contempt | Vanessa explains why contempt is the #1 cue to get wrong [46:26]
QUOTES:
“If you can cue someone for your warmth and competence, right off the bat, it actually speeds up your connection.” [8:45]
“When someone's listening, they're not rehearsing anymore. They're off the clock, and their brain is much more focused on you.” [11:49]
“If you are smart, you might run into this problem where people underestimate you and your ideas, because you're not delivering them with the right competence and warmth.” [32:47]
“If someone is angled away, and they're just giving you head attention, their body and their feet are looking somewhere else. They are not fully engaged with you.” [41:29]
“Contempt is the number one cue people get wrong.” [47:43]
Follow Vanessa Van Edwards:
Website: www.scienceofpeople.com/
KZbin: / vanessavanedwardsyt
Twitter: / vvanedwards
Instagram: / vvanedwards
Facebook: / vvanedwards

[@LisaBilyeu]

Which cues for you are the most telling when trying to read someone?

[@amish-landchateau]

Smile that doesn’t reach the eyes. Hunched posture.

[@SurrenderToTheFlowTarot]

Their energy.

[@littlelulu4107]

If they dn smile back at you

[@Artyshell53]

I wasn't but THANKYOU!! 😁 (using this to develop book characters xx👍💖)

[@rachealfaucher4520]

there eyes

[@troybonham9829]

I realized women were ghosting me online immediately upon learning I was cat guy. So often that I chose to add it to my profile to save everybody time..... It's me.... I'm everybody. Most women have it wrong..cat guys are secure and not clingy. Dogs love anyone.. you have to earn the love of a cat.

[@blackmadonna6024]

Fucking THANK YOU. Finally someone says it 🙌🏽 I’m a woman and I think guys having cats is kinda hot.

[@fatuma2954]

True

[@abigail1783]

Last cat guy I dated he was a people pleaser with a huge need for approval that led him to wear a mask most of the time. When he showed his real self, he was not nice. I trust more dog men, less sneaky and more straightforward

[@kathilbert7812]

Maybe they just have an allergy to cats

[@HeartsandLove444]

💯 thanks to all the women passing on men with cats. More for me. 😂❤

I'm a straight woman and I would find men with cats more attractive than men with dogs simply because I want a lover who respects boundaries, personal freedom and character more than being adored and chased around ;)

[@ThePrincezzG]

Same

[@thecreator_666]

This! 🙌

[@blackmadonna6024]

So glad to see someone else think this way!

[@blackmadonna6024]

I love dogs and I have one who was gifted to me but when I hear some of the reasons why dog-people love dogs it all sounds so egocentric 😂

[@cherrylbradley1250]

😵‍💫

[@NathalieLazo]

This message is for someone who needs to hear this and will fully understand it... You are not define by your circumstance or your past. It’s not what happened to you that determines your success in life; it is how you deal with those circumstances that determines your success in life. You are strong, you are capable and practice forgiveness (Forgiveness is for you; forgive your parents or anyone whom we have chosen to hurt us, to begin the process of healing and freedom. Remember: Forgiveness is for you to be freed, healed and happy) and practice gratitude everyday. This will change the course of your life forever. Love you always and I believe in you wholeheartedly no matter what ✨❤️ - Nat

[@stefaniegodfrey6155]

Much ❤️, Nat!

[@NathalieLazo]

@@stefaniegodfrey6155 Thank you, Stefanie! You're awesome! :)

[@amittharwani4654]

❤💯

[@cmbbfan78]

@Sara Fox If you hate someone, or have negative emotions for him you just poison yourself. You do nothing harmful to the other being, just yourself. You bring with yourself a heavy weight. That's it. So it is not about the other, it's about yourself. Yes, there are cultures with vengeance-killing culture. As there are a lot of people with lower consciousness, or they are even sleeping. They will wake up later. We do not have business now with them.

[@shea5542]

Screenshotted. So sweet

[@NRM1067]

My ex narc bf loves dogs and takes pics of himself holding a dog , but uses his dogs to breed and make money off of them. He sees them as objects , subservience. Don’t judge the dog pic as a neuro activation of him being loyal and all those positive things associated with dogs. He is promiscuous, cheater, un loyal and a pathological liar. They use people and animals as a manipulation tactic to get what they want. Thanks for making this possible for us to continue to learn .

[@Sar_bear77]

Yeah ive dated a couple of narcissistic ppl that "love dogs". A lot of bad ppl like dogs because dogs have no standards and will love anyone, sadly. These "dog lovers" like to show the world how "amazing" they are that they adopted dogs. They use dogs as their accessories, they don't actually care about the dog. Dont fall for it. Narcs will do the same thing to ppl they date.

[@NiinaSKlove]

Also, don't forget stimming! I do subtle stemming, which might come across as nervousness - or as not telling the whole truth (lip pursing and shaking one leg while sitting down.) I don't feel comfortable with eye contact - ever. However, I have learned how to keep eye contact in certain situations. I can maintain eye contact, but it does not come naturally. But it has nothing to do with being dishonest or anything. I am just autistic and operate on a different operating system. 🙄🙃🙂

[@ekah1234]

I had the same thought about my Son. This convo stresses me out because for anyone that has a NVLD can be taken or take a situation the wrong way.

[@ItsmeBish584]

@@ekah1234 I'm guessing this video is directed at neurotypical people.

[@ekah1234]

@@ItsmeBish584 for sure Was just talking out loud about how some can be misunderstood. A lot of a typical people appear to be neurotypical other than a few quirks you would have to be versed in to recognize. Often, my son is misunderstood.

[@Anima_1.1]

Thank you for mentioning this. I'm not entirely sure that I'm neurotypical, but being told "I operate on a different system" does stop me in my tracks and reminds me to be mindful. Also info about how the operating system works help 😊

[@ChristianaSenibo]

This right here “If you are smart, you might run into this problem where people underestimate you and your ideas, because you're not delivering them with the right competence and warmth". How are you coming across?

[@NathalieLazo]

So good! That one hit home for me as well. Incredible insight and perspective. It is so incredibly important on how we're coming across to others. And their responses towards us, whether its verbal or non-verbal, is feedback for us. But not many people see it as feedback. Thank you for re-sharing this, Christiana! Great channel by the way! Keep up the amazing work! :)

[@vanessavanedwards8014]

I loved doing this interview with you Lisa! Thank you

[@pepe8392]

Thank you to Both of you. Vanessa YOU ROCK! I love how you are able to put realistic example out there. Not textbook blah, blah blah examples. I especially loved the part about the background scenes of pictures. I would have never thought of that. I am officially changing mine now. Thank you so much 🤗

[@maxinepeel7057]

Good for you Vanessa - one of today's intelligent and well spoken lady - an addition to anyone's life should they open themselves up to this interesting and helpful road. Merci!

[@heather5207]

This has been my life obsession! I would love to meet you someday! Human behavior is fascinating to me! Thank you for educating people ❤

[@lauraallen5538]

Hi @vanessavanedwards8014, I would love to see an edition of your book address the fact that these cues are great in reference to mentally healthy and neurotypical people. As an autistic person with a past of trauma and a present filled with anxiety, I can use these cues to read neurotypical folks successfully. But I can’t be my authentic self (your definition of a good actor) because it is too much for most interactions-I must mask for professional settings and when dealing with my children’s school, for example. And your definition of a bad actor is in line with a person who feels the need to mask, like many autistic people do. Again, I really enjoyed everything else you had to share and plan to use it as a way to better understand my neurotypical peers. 💙

[@OryPiper]

❤ thanks for this ❤

[@Ririk9]

Aww my cat is a Rag doll and she is like a puppy. She follows me everywhere, loves cuddles and is always by my side. X

[@BigSoul29]

I have been following her work for years.....! What she teaches is an artform. I, however, find it to be very exhausting to have to be this self-aware at all moments of the day. When I project my own ideas and thoughts, through words, I find it much easier to just be myself. Be authentic and all your cues will be natural. On a different note Vanessa could even teach actors with her skills.

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

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[@hyeladziraalvary790]

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[@NathalieLazo]

You make a great point of not allowing this to become like an obsession to find cues of every waking moment and just release and be yourself! Having a balance is always healthy; thank you for sharing this, Christina! I agree with you :)

[@faithful8942]

So true be yourself

[@GettingOnThatBass]

@Nathalie Lazo yes! It's great to use these if you're curious about an interaction and may help you gage something you're not sure about. These are optimizing tools, not set criteria for good interactions

[@Jaybee12900]

Oh my gosh. As someone who has been single for 3 years and has been having the worst time dating.....this is so helpful. The warm ques made so much sense. Thats what I have considered a "spark" when I meet someone. Very interested and engaged... I've met men who have not leaned in and who seem distracted and seem like they are not even listening to me and I always leaving feeling there was "no spark" this video makes it all make sense why I feel this way lol

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

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[@hyeladziraalvary790]

Hello, I know a great spiritualist who can help you make a lot of money through some simple steps. He really helped me a lot, he Manifest for me and all of a sudden miracle came into my life, I got my first car last month and am planning to get my second car this week, and he can do the same for you.

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

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[@NathalieLazo]

So good! Thank you for sharing your experience and knowing how to spot the cues! This is super excellent when it comes to dating for sure! Glad it helped you, Jordan! :)

[@carochan86]

@@hyeladziraalvary790 scam

[@mmartin5457]

First impressions, before a person speaks, is POWERFUL and pretty accurate when you add in the other cues…. People these days tend to be too self-absorbed to notice the other person’s cues…..

[@littlelulu4107]

I had a friend showing contempt for me bc Idn fall for his manipulation tactics. He became more rude over time and I had to say good bye. He would hang up on me on the telephone bc he couldn’t control me. That’s so childish and disrespectful. So glad he’s gone and I’m not walking on eggshells anymore.

[@bethanyreiss2516]

The same thing happened to me. I’m barely getting out of it but he became a completely different person when I realized he wasn’t who he showed himself to be.

[@princessg8097]

Same

[@kundalinigirl6816]

That was interesting about the cat association. I remember reading once an idea that one way to recognize a narcissistic or manipulative person is, they hate cats...the idea was, because manipulative people can't control a cat the way one can train a dog. I think if a man likes a cat...he's not controlling....he can handle strong independence.

[@LietSayri]

Yes. I agree. Dogs have poor boundaries and have behaviors that, while nice in a pet, are not healthy traits in a human or good qualities for a relationship.

[@kaylaworth9280]

I'm narcissistic and manipulative (I've learned to change my mindset) and I LOVE cats. Always have loved cats.

[@NathalieLazo]

Wow, that is so interesting. Thank you for sharing your perspective on this! I really appreciate it! :)

[@sophrosynemind]

That's not right. Many people are mortally scared of cats just because they haven't grown up around them. Don't hand out shitty ideas just coz you feel like.

[@evolili4245]

This is so helpful! I have noticed this icky feeling when someone is gorgeous while talking, but does not show much reaction or eye contact while they are listening. And every time it turned out that feeling was right. Now I understand why, thank you😄

[@claire-ui6pu]

My thoughts too I think some of us click with avoidant partners

[@Portia620]

The problem with a lot of these nonverbal cues you have to only apply them the neurotypical people if you’re dealing with with autism or some other issue it might have nothing to do with what she’s saying and I have not listened to the whole interview yet but I’m just saying not everybody fits knees nice neat categories sometimes but can give you an overall idea but keep an open mind.

[@sarahlinebarger4554]

@@Portia620 Agreed!

[@RealTalk-mq2ug]

Debilitating paralyzing panicked pain: My best friend abandoned and betrayed me. I am suicidal and despaired. Desperate. Breathless. Hyperventilating. However, in the midst of this, I've learned these lessons: - what him and I had: was an AMAZING BEAUTIFUL adventure! for whatever reason, it wasn't meant to last... I'm grateful though, to have had it for the 17-months, that we did. - everything happens gradually then suddenly... - I want escape, but not too much escape, like getting high, because it triggers my childhood fears, of needing to be hypervigilant and on high-alert - children make everything about themselves, adults still do the same (very erroneous) - I'm better without him because I want TRUE LOVE, THE REAL THING. THE FULL MEAL DEAL. he's better without me because he wants 100% focus on his businesses and moving off-grid. ultimately, eventually: we'd just be in each other's way... - NO MORE: Victim mindset - NEVER talk shit about myself - stop comparing self to others, put self on a pedestal - stop taking shit personally, he has his wounds and traumas and insecurities, too! - standards and boundaries - inner child healing - prioritize self - be how you would be as a confident person - be in alignment

[@umelokarnes5460]

Okay. Take a deep breath. You're still young apparently. Time heals all that. In a few years you'll wonder what you saw in him. It may be 5 or 6 years down the road but you'll come to realize you dodged a bullet and that he did you a huge favor. Move own to the next chapter of your life sweetheart.

[@tasharch]

Also really useful for people like me with AVPD because we can be hyper aware of non verbal cues and a single expression can send us into a tail spin and cause us to withdraw when really you should be looking at the big picture AND assuming a positive scenario!

[@Sonia-zq9ek]

Thank you for bringing Vanessa back, Lisa! I absolutely love these insightful sessions 😍💕

[@tanyaalongi5690]

Thank you so much for having Vanessa back on your show!! So much great info!! 💛

[@stephaniehallard226]

so insightful. as a person with autism none of this really comes natural to me, and I noticed that I actually use some cues the opposite way from how a non-autistic person would use them. thank you, might look into that book of yours, and good luck with the research

[@NathalieLazo]

Thank you for sharing, Stephanie! Many people can relate with you! Happy you're learning from Vanessa herself! :)

[@green10wine]

Associating pursed lips with lying is kind of off the mark. I purse my lips when I'm concentrating. I find most people purse their lips before they make serious statements. It has nothing to do with lies in my experience.

[@BellaandTB]

I will have to disagree with Lisa regarding cats. My cat is actually like a dog ... probably even more affectionate then one! She's not standoffish at all, runs to door and greets me when I get home, very warm and inviting. Just thought I'd put my two cents in that not all cats are like how you described.✨🌺🐾✨ Great interview though. Thankyou🤗

[@cassanddrrrraaa]

mine is the same way & runs to me too!

[@celineU2007]

My cat is the same

[@schoolingdiana9086]

Maybe Lisa has only been around Persians.

[@tomr6183]

@@schoolingdiana9086 my Persian is super great and friendly !

[@SamStone1964]

Cats kill birds, lizards, frogs, insects. If you care about the natural environment then cats are a deal breaker.

[@stefaniegodfrey6155]

What are the hidden emotions that people are afraid to share!.. GOLDEN!!!!

[@sharleneh6161]

I've always noticed Lisa's nods and I appreciate how they demonstrate how intently she's listening, that she understands the speaker, that she's genuinely interested. I was just thinking how I could benefit by using that tactic when you brought up the subject of nods. You're a positive influence and you're terrific, Lisa. Eschew the critics.

[@dobiminarikova]

Absolutely amazing!!! Thanks 🙏🏻

[@moserirmi]

I have learned so much today !! Thank you SO much ladies!

[@tenneshaskyers]

This is so good amazing value thank you Vanessa!!

[@mosachobokoane1731]

I LOVE YOUR NODS, I LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM.

[@CC-kr3mr]

Besides all of the absolute indispensable information in this video, Lisa, I absolutely adore you, I laughed out when you said “… and it’s ok to call someone, on the lip purse”?!

[@maxinepeel7057]

Now this is really impactful.... thank you for sharing this very important aspect of each and every human being. I have been fortunate to be consciously aware of this since my childhood. Sometimes as I grew and adjusted to different people I fell short of my "intuitiveness" and that was ok and is still so. We are not perfect beings but we can always learn, experiment, and push ourselves to strive for what we all deserve which is "a comfortable, safe place within us to navigate our world and the outside world, As in everything we make mistakes and it's what we do with those that define and make us. I applaud the message, the way is has been spoken and delivered. Merci!

[@NathalieLazo]

Beautiful message! Thank you for sharing your heart and thoughts, Maxine! :)

[@maxinepeel7057]

@@NathalieLazo Bonjour Nathalie! Being observant is key - if we are looking, watching as we do when we are children always so full of curiosity and wonder --- and bring this along with us as we mature it is such benefit. We do not always read consistently or adequately but that's part of the whole experience. I would also suggest talking, having convos. Being as clear as possible and tone down the emotional part of us - ah.... so. much all at one huh? But our brain is a muscle so it can expand so very far - let us not undermine our own possibilities - all of us are capable of stretching, learning and living as well as being there for ourselves and in turn we can be there for others. Rome as they say "wasn't build in a day"! Merci, thank yo

[@Portia620]

People have been married to serial killers not realize it until the dog‘s bringing bones in. I never thought I would marry someone that I didn’t even know who the heck he was in his whole life I found so much stuff when the judge moved him out of the house and even before then my daughter had found stuff so we don’t really know somebody you can’t you can trust them but you could be 20 something years down the road and you find out they’re live in a completely separate life from the one you thought you were living with that person. I’m more than my ex-husband like he died because he did he never existed. It’s been the strangest relationship I have ever had some more and get over

[@ireneisinherzone]

i love you guys together!

[@ellal.6742]

You gals are awesome! Great show and guest.

[@nancycrandall4545]

My cat was awesome and followed me around like a dog. I love dogs and have owned and loved them, too, but honestly, I’ve seen guys treat their dogs better than they treat women. I’ve dated guys whose dogs were more important than me. I stopped talking to the guys with dogs on date sites. Red flag. 🤣🤣🤣

[@ellymayflower1762]

Omg me too Nancy!! Like one guy wanted the dog to go with us everywhere. I said no the dog cannot come in my car. Also the dog had to sleep on the bed and mostly his heavy weight was on me. The dog was more important than me. I too have filtered my online dating with people if they have a dog in the pic. It's like competing with a child but almost worse IMO.

[@nancycrandall4545]

@@ellymayflower1762 I dated a guy once who’s dog jumped on me, so the hot coffee in my hand ended up all over me. I got scalded (man, that hurt!) and my clothes were stained/ruined. It didn’t even faze the guy. Another guy I was with for over 4 years had his dog on a pedestal. He hugged and kissed that dog more than me. He did that on purpose. I watched him use the dog to get attention from other women, too. Other times, if he was mad at me, he would only make eye contact with and talk to the dog. All embarrassing and hurtful. Not doing it ever again. No more dogs. That’s just a weird love triangle. Not interested.

[@ellymayflower1762]

@Nancy Crandall I've come to the point it's time that I don't have to share myself with anyone's let's or kids. I want a simple relationship or I don't have to have one.

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Oh no, that's awful!

[@Sar_bear77]

Yeah a lot of dog ppl hve so many red flags its insane. They dont have the emotional capacity to deal with humans so they find comfort in dogs because dogs dont have standards and love anyone even if you treat them poorly

[@Yourrrr]

So interesting about the straight men cat dating app photo study, I'd like to read more into that research! Personally, men with cats is more of a green flag (even though I've been a dog lover since childhood). I agree with most of the qualities you both listed about dogs and cat but thinking of it from a different perspective - which qualities does this man want in partners (his animal being his partner, me being a potential partner here). Dogs are loyal, happy-go-lucky, mostly down with anything - and while I do have those traits for a committed partner, I'm more like a cat with men I'm just dating. I'd prefer a man who is ok with being with someone who needs time to evaluate and trust someone before opening up, someone who is more careful/thoughtful/cautious when approaching (like you can run up and pet a dog but not so much a cat)

[@aprililes8355]

Dogs can be very loyal and tend to be much more quick to socialize at first glance. On the other hand, I've had many cats in my life and, for the most part, they were all super friendly although at times cautious at first sight. Sounds like a good trait to me!!!😉🐕🐈

[@carloshasabighead]

I was with a cat guy for 6 years and it ended horribly because I was more like a dog in behavior and he wanted me to be a cat…he only wanted me around when he wanted or when he had no one else to turn to in life…he wanted me to have a whole separate life of my own and be able to come around when he wanted some affection…if you are a woman who wants marriage and children and to build a life with someone…a man who want a cat or behaves like a cat does not make a good life partner because those things requires a close relationship…

[@Yourrrr]

@@carloshasabighead sorry to hear that, that guy sucks... anyways, men with cats is more of a green flag for me

[@karver4151]

Men who can respect and love cats is a green flag to me too. There are exceptions to everything. I was in a toxic, dysfunctional relationship with a dog guy for too long. To me, a man who likes cats may indicate that he can respect boundaries, won't rush a potential relationship along, and is emotionally secure enough to not desperately need validation at every turn or interpret my need for 'me' time as a personal rejection every time.

[@Elviladia]

In my opinion, if a man likes cat, that means he also can respect a persons boundaries. A cat will tell you when its had enough and wants to be left alone, a dog doesn't, So I feel like men who outright hate cats, also hate respecting boundaries by humans.

[@sandy89107]

My cats are so lovable "in my face affection", but only to me. They run from strangers and hide. 😁

[@blisswkc3344]

Thank y'all so much dearest 🌹 Y'all such an inspiration 🥰 Appreciate y'all from the bottom of my heart 💖 Be Blissful Eternally 🙏👼🌈

[@anastasijapilnikova5732]

Thank You 💗 All These Processes Happen Naturally in Everyone & its always Perfect & Suitable for Every Person's Unique Time Moment 💓💞🥰

[@NathalieLazo]

Yes, I agree with you! Thank you for sharing, Anastasija! 🤍

[@AiriAnew]

Informative and useful video. Thank you - both of you. I learned a lot. 💕

[@NathalieLazo]

It was a very informative and useful video! Happy your learned a lot, my friend 🤍

[@danieltenebrion9413]

Glad that she's pointing out that you need to follow up and ask about social ques. Because it's just as likely that the social que doesn't mean anything or it means something different than what you think it does. Alot of "experts" on non-verbal communication act like they know what every interaction means, but there is no single reason for every person's non-verbal communication, and clinical research in human behavior doesn't support that.

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Yes! Following up is so important ❤

[@cyclamennn]

Lisa thanks a lot 🌸🌸🌸

[@Mina-rb5ut]

The lower lid flex is also used to be condescending about the other person as if to question the authenticity of what the other person is saying.

[@sempiternallila2715]

This was pretty fascinating!

[@larahporter8123]

Give a cat a chance! My cat is like a dog! I never thought a cat can give so much warmth and love, I love love love my kitty!

[@DaisyAruba]

I just downloaded the book on audible. So excited. But my main question for Vanessa is what do I put in my background to signal “hey I am looking for monetary intelligence/success/business intelligence” because I’m not always looking for a romantic partner. I’m looking for BUSINESS partners. And then I’ll look for friends because friends are easy to find when you have money and success. Making it blaringku obvious when a friend isnt there for you. Yet finding friends now might be better? Nah cause I’m invested in myself too much for romance and friends. I need BUSINESS PARTNERS. ROLE MODELS. I WOULD SELL PART OF MY SOUL TO THE UNIVERSE TO SPEND A WEEK WITH VANESSA. like how she can point out all these things which I’ve been using in my own life and thank you for the cluster part.

[@sarahs7766]

I loved this 😍 especially the mouth/lips to tell if someone is lying.

[@NathalieLazo]

What part was this on?? If you can't find it, no worries! Thank you for sharing this :)

[@adrianasilveira4561]

I am so enjoying this Vanessa's super interesting videos, and first time on this channel. I am loving, already order the book.

[@shahkeyomi]

Love love lover her! Cant wait to read her book!! So powerful so informative and so so interesting to use and better self awareness! Dear Lisa, dont let anyone tell u otherwise, i love ur nods!

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

Do you think So or you really need help .💁.

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

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[@hyeladziraalvary790]

+𝟙𝟡𝟜𝟡𝟝𝟞𝟡𝟚𝟡𝟝𝟛 Okay...

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

You can write him via 👆👆...

[@NathalieLazo]

Love this! I'm sure they both will appreciate your sincerity and appreciation! Thank you for sharing! :)🤍

[@tulsalien]

lol i’m just audhd and here studying so i don’t keep getting confused. usually when someone does the slow triple nod i freeze up and think the conversation is over. thanks for the perspective shift!

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Of course! I'm so glad it was helpful. 🙏

[@Jess-ed4tn]

This is one of beautiful interview I watched. Thank you Vanessa and Women of Impact for sharing this topics. I love it. ❤️💟

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

Do you think So or you really need help .💁.

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

Thank you all for recommending Dr Akunda the great spell caster to the rest of us on here. If not for your recommendation I won’t have found help. He specializes in other stuffs like, lotto numbers, Abundant money, Bring Ex lover back, Banish Evil spell. you can be lucky too.

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

+𝟙𝟡𝟜𝟡𝟝𝟞𝟡𝟚𝟡𝟝𝟛 Okay...

[@NathalieLazo]

It is a very beautiful interview to watch! I agree with you :) Thank you for sharing this love message, Jess! :)

[@lisaeve6426]

This is amazing! As someone that works with people in person and online dating... amazing

[@NathalieLazo]

Yes, I so agree with you, Lisa! Thank you for sharing :)

[@julieete257]

wow loved this I was taking a batb when I was listening to this. Amazing

[@simplesallyssister]

Thank you both for this. So deeply insightful. Validating and curious simultaneously. I deeply appreciate you both for your transparency and vulnerability. Sending warm energy! 🤍

[@NathalieLazo]

Yes, I agree with you, Jaela! Thank you for sharing this lovely comment! Also sending you warm energy! 🤍

[@rcz2023]

Thank you for sharing this awesome interview ❤️

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

Do you think So or you really need help .💁.

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

Meet Dr Akunda he will help you to solve your problems. Need help I can recommend you to a very and power spiritual man who can help you because you can't do this your self .....I have tried no result But this powerful man helped me manifest money and made my wishes come through by getting my Ex lover back too.

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

+𝟙𝟡𝟜𝟡𝟝𝟞𝟡𝟚𝟡𝟝𝟛 Okay...

[@ahmedfarag7506]

She is amazing

[@StockTraderClassLive]

Communication is key, once you open it it should flow, some people get insecure about this flow, and it can ruin a relationship if this insecurity is not addressed… It’s ok to be vulnerable… it’s actually what can build stronger bond…

[@rimmalikover9724]

Being vulnerable is not ok. It opens up a way for people to manipulate you into doing their dirty work.

[@StockTraderClassLive]

@@rimmalikover9724 in a relationship, you can not be thinking about this, you right if you are thinking about manipulation than it’s the wrong person, you should be confident that whoever you are vulnerable with does not take advantage!

[@sindiswamoolman5505]

When I question or I don’t agree with what you say, it immediately shows, I means shows on my face or body movements without me saying a word.

[@hannahkyle2998]

Vanessa is AWESOME and she writes the best emails! I've got to get her book!

[@LAila-qf4ww]

Ohhhh, I would love to know how

[@NathalieLazo]

Yes she does! Hope you get a lot from her book, Hannah! :)

[@eleonoramostert8917]

Crossing ones arm can also be seen as really concentrating on what the other person is saying and trying not to interrupt before they are finished and ask them a stupid question, having waited their question may have been. answered When someone crossed their arms to close off, their facial expression gives them away.

[@princessimaria]

Love her! Great interview ❤

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you ❤ I appreciate you taking time out of your day to watch!

[@cindyjohnson4378]

Very informative

[@kaylanalou4397]

I'm a nodder as I listen. I can't help it either. So be it. Loved this interview. Helpful info!

[@ScienceOfPeople]

I'm so happy to hear that! Thank you for watching. ❤

[@J.M..]

Wow, this was a fantastic video! I’m going to buy the book now 😊

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Yay! So happy to hear this 🥰

[@romellyarde907]

9 minutes in and I am loving it.

[@alinafionik]

This is SO good!!!!

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you! So glad you enjoyed ❤

[@bluerose2682]

Great interview, very informative. I have something to say about cats and dogs, and people who owned them. Unfortunately there is a misconception about cats. Cats are affectionate, compassionate. I had several cats through out my life. If you don't believe me, TikTok/shorts is full of videos of cats cuddling with people and babies and even being compassionate with their owners when they are sick or sad. Now, some cats aren't friendly, the same way some dogs aren't. Also owning a dog may signalize that a person may be controlling and even aggressive as dogs are considered more submissive and docile. On the other hand owning cats may signalize that a person may be submissive and co-dependent since cats are considered to be more dismissive and 'hard to get'. I wouldn't say that this is a general rule, but it is something to consider.

[@Whippet4Life]

I agree 100% with you.. also, i believe that what kind of breed (this goes especially for dogs ) the person owns or prefers, can tell a lot about themselves. I would love to see studies done about that.

[@minjilee8417]

Absolutely LOVED and enjoyed watching every bit of this video. It feels so relieving to be able to describe and explain some of the cue’s I’ve been noticing all along. Buying your book now :)

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Yay! So happy to hear this ❤

[@louiseforde5502]

Toxic Cues!!! Thank you so very much.

[@meMYSELFnU]

About the angling your body towards someone, just have in mind this only works if people are standing. For me, if I'm sitting on a bench, I'm always cross-legged so my toes are pointing to the sides. But that doesn't mean I'm not interested, it means I'm comfortable enough to take my shoes off and be comfortable.

[@atomicsamadhi]

I am such a huge fan of VvE. Thx for the great interview! really dislike long hair on men. I never understood why I make assumptions about men with long hair…now I get it…it’s a neural map getting triggered. So cool!

[@sally5256]

You Both are Awesome!!!! Thank you 🙏❤️

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you! I appreciate you watching ❤

[@liztorres2750]

That smirk of contempt she mentions, I had that look in a photo of my boyfriend and me with an award he won, and what I was thinking was "In your face to all those who had no faith in him being the best" I have no idea how that look is being perceived.

[@ScienceOfPeople]

So interesting!!

[@alcudiababe1]

I do read cues and pick up on others feelings but sometimes I choose to ignore them to not let what other people think of me get to me. It's how I cope. I have to think just because someone has a problem doesn't make it mine. Let me explain, you can think too much about what other people think, or might think, but you're never going to know and unless they're going to activley come out and tell me (I'd respect them for it more if they did) but a lot of others hide behind this polite facade, so, I'm going to go up and talk to them and they're not going to do anything to look bad in front of others in public. That's how I handle people who are a bit up themselves, and I know if I can control my own reactions around them because - if they are sending out those cues they expect people to shy away, be nervous - why? If they expect that why not be bold and go up and start talking to them because they're not going to expect that. So, I understand that I can control how I feel within a given situation and not let other people's moods influence me of how to behave around them. I just think why should I be nervous about coming over to talk to you. There is probably a reason for it, jealously, maybe. Or something devious. Whereas in the past I'd have given them a wide berth and I'd think if you don't want me why should I hang around? Challenge them a little bit. Do the opposite of what they're expecting. I call out people, it's like if your going to tell me on my wedding you've a headache and your going home I'm going to be annoyed if you do go I remember calling it out saying did they need any paracetamol trying to get them to stay. Apparently she was pregnant and not feeling very well which I learned after which I understand after and was fine but I don't understand the pretence some people do with me because if I knew the truth they wouldn't find a more loving caring person who would actually care for them rather than them making me feel like they can't stay to celebrate my day with me.

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

Do you think So or you really need help .💁.

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

I watched the video and followed the steps no result, until i came across a great spiritualist Dr Akunda. I can recommend you to this man who can help you out with your wishes any kind of wish you desire. I got results within 2days after contact with him.

[@deesticco1719]

Informative ! Life should be a free flow and not be so technical! 🙏🏼

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

Does anyone here need help ?

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

Hello dear, I recommend you to someone who helped me manifest my wishes within 2days I got results...Good Luck to you'll. 🍀

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

+𝟙𝟡𝟜𝟡𝟝𝟞𝟡𝟚𝟡𝟝𝟛 Okay...

[@marcielicea5531]

This is fascinating!

[@ScienceOfPeople]

So glad you enjoyed this one! ❤

[@3rdeyeadventures390]

Loved this episode, a lot to grasp n understand! I'm just wondering if anyone else felt like there was something not completely full about that last statement she stumbled around on? If that was actually a Cue in itself n she knew. Just curious because I think when you learn how to do this you also have the upper hand with people. It's not just about being so open and they can feel comfortable sharing with you. That being said I do see how this is such valuable information. I can see how this can help me understand why someone doesn't follow through with what they say n once again realize I was too trusting. I mean how many times do I need to learn same lesson!?! Anyways love Lisa n definitely want to buy this book meow. 😁

[@NathalieLazo]

Thank you for sharing, my friend! One thing in life that I learned about people is watch what they do, not what they say. Hard lesson for me on that one too. Happy this video brought some major insight for you! Sending you great love! 🤍

[@BB-dn5bt]

Loved this ❤

[@ScienceOfPeople]

I'm so glad ❤

[@Nickywigs]

Masterpiece.

[@KatMarie]

the lower lid thing FREAKS ME OUT. It makes me feel judged and I instantly shut down

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

Do you think So or you really need help .💁.

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

Don't be carried away by all this videos stop wasting your time here , I've tried this so many times and it didn't work until I met a powerful man👱who helped me manifest money and made my wishes come through. I am really grateful to him. He specializes in other stuffs like, lotto numbers, Abundant money, Bring Ex lover back, Banish Evil spell. you can be lucky too....

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

What'sApp him for help...

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

+𝟙𝟡𝟜𝟡𝟝𝟞𝟡𝟚𝟡𝟝𝟛 Okay...

[@TheADAiction]

One of my favorite channels 😍 😍 😍 ❤️ ❤️

[@DaisyAruba]

also think I learned from you about your name being so important. Like the other day a technician was here to look at the oil tank. I thought his name was “Dave” but after I asked the 3rd time I heard “gabe” and HE ALOLOGIZed to ME. I said “GABE DO NOT EVER APOLOGIZE FOR SOMEONE ELSE MISHEARING YOUR NAME. AND DO NOT LET THEM TO CONTINUE TO CALL YOU BY THE WRONG NAME. CORRECT THEM ASAP. IT IS NOT RUDE, it will initiate respect from others and vice versa. Like I was loud as hell in my bathroom talking about how proud I was of installing shower head and filter and the water going cold after 15-20 mins and basically we need a plumber’s help. Anyways I wasn’t like screaming loud hur I had just brushed my teeth or was in the procsss-and had to quickly “clean up” and he was very polite and soft spoken I’m like “this is what you get when you say your name loudly and make eye contact. Even though Carissa-yes you have toothpaste dripping down your chin, you haven’t washed your face yet, you have a red spot that looks akin to a devil horn beginning to grow (it’s in recovery don’t worry I’m not growing horns) and this much bigger man didn’t correct his own name, he’s not interrupted you ONCE, and that’s VERY rare to me. I wondered if my icy gray contact lenses was the main focus in my gray bathroom walls that have touch of glitter in them with pink and gold accents was distracting too. But I was proud of myself!!!! People always said “Clarissa” and I’d be like whatever NOW IM LIKD “CARISSA. C-A-R-I-S-S-A, not with A K WITH A C. And what’s your name? How do I say that? Am I saying right? Thank you” I kinda stutter in when I ask people their names as they’re like “why?” And I start to get anxious and say “well I just heard you know it’s nice to address anyone by their name and to introduce myself and I want to keep notes of my (usually customer service / banking / returns etc) who I’m speaking with” and it’s mostly because I will leave a glowing review. I stopped myself from being rude to peoooe like I used to, and I’ve gotten so much further. I’ve had conversations for 40-60 minutes with people and we talk about our daily lives, our dogs, if we have kids or not, our jobs, and it’s part of my personal growth and I continue to transform. Learn. And grow everywhere and everything.

[@susanmcculloch1945]

You can't command a cat...yet the love is fierce and respect necessary...😼

[@victoriamigliavacca5950]

I loooove Vanessa's energy!! she is amazing

[@NathalieLazo]

She IS amazing! Thank you for sharing, lovely 🤍

[@isabellawangari2118]

P0

[@isabellawangari2118]

P

[@isabellawangari2118]

0

[@isabellawangari2118]

P

[@bobbileehall3567]

This needs to be taught in schools for Gods sake. Kids today have no clue how to communicate much less captivate or use cues....I did 7 years of toastmasters & now I’m in to Vanessa research! ❤️kids they like like like like like have no clue how to communicate. Reading captivate can’t wait to read Cues! 😁

[@NathalieLazo]

Yes! This should be taught in school! I 100% agree with you; kids would learn so much! The world would be a better place for sure if more people knew how to communicate with one another. A lot of things should be taught in school .. all we can do is lead by example and continue to be better than yesterday in the art of communication! Glad it's helping you tons, Bobbi! :)

[@invisiblewoman9684]

I've taught my kids the beauty of non-verbal communication/ communication styles since they were toddlers. Teachers hate it - because my kids can see right through their BS now that they're teenagers (not to mention they challenge me too). We people watch and practice reading body language. Creepy? Maybe a little. But, the payoff for my kids is outstanding communication skills and awareness.

[@tisminnit]

I work in food service and it's a tiny restaurant the back of house is sooo tiny we are all always in everyone's personal space 😅 luckily we all get along

[@mcwyngaard]

Great value advice to be aware of non verbal cues 🤗👍 thank you

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

Do you think So or you really need help .💁.

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

I can recommend you to a powerful man who helped me manifest money and my ex back. He can also help you with your wishes. He specializes in other stuffs like, lotto numbers, Abundant money, Bring Ex lover back, Banish Evil spell e.t.c.

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

Message him via... 👇wazapp or 👆👆...

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

+𝟙𝟡𝟜𝟡𝟝𝟞𝟡𝟚𝟡𝟝𝟛 Okay...

[@Momo-dl6dx]

I wanna watch it first

[@Natalia_85]

I love that she mentioned the Seinfeld episode. It was my first thought

[@pubear7514]

Would be interesting to hear Malcom Gladwell’s perspective on this. His argument in “Talking to Strangers” is that we actually aren’t as good at deciphering people as we think we are…including all these non-verbal cues. And, in fact, we misjudge a lot. What’s depressing is we’re trying to market our selves and influence others and their behaviors on a human level. I know this is meant to help. And there is some value to it. It’s just such a sad state of affairs.

[@NatureFreak1127]

Fantastic talk!!!

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

Does anyone here need help ?

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

I can recommend you to Dr Akunda who would help you manifest whatever and whoever you want to manifest within 24hours E.g Money, Love, Soul Mate etc..

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

Message Dr Akunda on WhatsApp. he can help...

[@hyeladziraalvary790]

+𝟙𝟡𝟜𝟡𝟝𝟞𝟡𝟚𝟡𝟝𝟛 Okay...

[@MeganS1995]

Hey, I find men holding cats very attractive! It shows their gentle, warmer side! Granted, both of my cats are loyal, sweet, and cuddly so I may be biased :P

[@morgssj]

this was so useful! lately I’ve been focused on improving my verbal and nonverbal communication as well as reading and understanding other’s communication, so I’m so happy to have came across these cues

[@NathalieLazo]

That is awesome! Thank you for sharing! :) What were some of the cues that you found the most helpful? Would love to know! :)

[@halimaalidrissi568]

It is actually the opposite. A man that is capable of loving a cat, a very uncontrollable being, shows a healthy type of loving capacity. Men who don’t like cats and love dogs just like someone who will do as they are told and remain loyal no matter what

[@leaannmaldonado9435]

Might be onto something here

[@Sar_bear77]

This is 100% true. A lot of "dog ppl" only like dogs cuz they are submissive. They are usually narcissistic ppl

[@707tich]

Came across your video. 👌🏾Your admirable yes! Watching from London uk

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you for watching! 🙏

[@GSDXephyr]

oh no, I do that lip purse a lot when I'm just trying to interpret a question and decide what they are asking...

[@ScienceOfPeople]

That's ok - awareness is always the first step!

[@KDLOVE24]

I absolutely love this video and I’m about to go people watch! ❤

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Yay! That's great to hear. ❤

[@sherrykreminski4771]

Very interesting

[@adelg6698]

My cat is my shadow, he will not leave my side, trots around following me my movements trigger him just as a dog, even if he is asleep he will wake up to follow me. A great bond with an emotional cat is very similar to a pet dog. Cats can be as loyal as a dog. 🙏💕

[@valeriegranados1359]

I totally love vanessa****

[@Iamcapable4]

…warmth competence motivation 5 senses ☀️🔥