WHY DO FILIPINAS LIE? / SAVING FACE in the Philippines

#WhyDoFilipinasLie #SavingFaceInThePhilippines ‪@TheFilipinaPea‬
Why do Filipinas lie? Is she honest? Is she lying? Why is she lying? What is she hiding? Why do people save face in Filipino culture? Saving face and the fear of losing face can affect the question of honesty, and inconsistencies in the words of a Filipina (Pinay) can cause a man to ask "why is my gf lying to me"? Pressing for an answer to that question can reveal why people save face - it's an Asian tradition that's intricate and complicated, that protects a person's reputation and dignity, but it can also be the source of a lot of deception! I could write a book about saving face and all the expectations involved, but instead I'm just going to discuss how it affects you foreigners when it comes to honesty in your relationship with your Filipina!
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[@TheFilipinaPea]

👉My videos and the effort I put into them are 100% free for everyone to enjoy, and all I ask is that you leave a thumbs-up on any videos that you like and subscribe to my channel - I have never, and will never, ask you for anything else. For those of you that still wish to support my channel further, however, I’ve posted my links below. Thanks! 👉 Support through PayPal: www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=GC9T7PMLZ3BDW&source=url 👉 Patreon: www.patreon.com/thefilipinapea

[@semperfi-1918]

Thank you for another great video. And we both understand it is tradition. However... we both agree honesty is what we practice. Doesnt matter if it hurts we agree that with proper timming tho and doing it right we understand importance of truth.

[@javieritomac]

So very much true pea 🙏🇵🇭👍 exelent and awesome video

[@jperry3956]

Nice video Pea. I believe in the concept of saving face but not to that extreme, with a caveat that it should be practiced by the house hold, not in the house, if you get the point. If my wife says the sky is yellow . . . well then in public I agree it is yellow and anyone who doesn't see that is insane. but once home I will ask behind closed doors WTF were you thinking? lol

[@VonBluesman]

Pea, I believe honesty is the best policy even if it hurts. Judge Judy said it best, if you tell the truth, you don’t have to have a great memory. Now if anyone falsely accuses you or tells lies about you, go and get Manny Pacquiao and dare them to say it again. LOL 😂 lol 😂. I love your channel and you had the best ever presentation on Memorial Day about the U.S. and the Filipino involvement in the war that is on KZbin. I love your style and personality. The video of helping the lady selling food was extremely touching and I pray it all works out for everyone. Thanks.

[@CYMRUKID69]

Filipina pea is beautiful & smart as ever.

[@davidwood3852]

A relationship without truth is doomed to failure

[@markplimsoll]

What?!?? You never heard of governments, or "Anonymous Societies" (the term for Corporation in Spanish), or, ABOVE ALL, RELIGION?

[@davidwood3852]

I was talking about religion a relationships between two people I can't control anything else not that you control relationships either

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Ultimately, yup 👍

[@mikek5298]

@@markplimsoll So you are not only a men hater but also an anti-religion bigot. Wow, you are a real prize.

[@joedoe7706]

Very much. To add to your comment: a relationship without truth is a house built on sand....when a storm of life comes or some disaster that challenges the emotions, the relationship will 100% collapse.

[@charlesperkins941]

"losing face" and owning it, builds character, allowing a person to move forward in life.

[@michaelrobert8476]

If you feel some pain when owning up to something that's not good, you just might refrain from doing it in the future. When there is no accountability, why stop the bad conduct?

[@tman5634]

Well said Charles, 100% bang on.

[@nonenone4461]

This is a ridiculous sentiment to have that only rich people from a nation like ours can indulge in. For thousands of years, being expelled from a peer group, or even devalued by such groups was a death sentence. If you really, truly want to experience how bad this can be, simply commit a crime and end up in prison. You would not dare to lose face in such an environment. Heaven help you if other suspect you are a snitch. Or a child molester. Disrespect someone and you will immediately be attacked. You WILL join a gang, or else. You WILL obey its rules. Such gangs keep discipline among their members. But if a person just can't or simply won't be of value to such a group, the very worst thing will happen. Expulsion. If that ever happens to you, you must immediately "tap out". Approach the nearest guard and tell him you need to leave the unit. It is literally a serious crime in the US for guards to not act instantly on that request.

[@fleeble04]

@@nonenone4461 The point of the video is daily life in an relationship and one partner telling lies or deceiving the other in order to not face the truth, not a person in "any" prison suffering the wrath of other prisoners by showing a sign of weakness.

[@michaelbarmby9105]

@@nonenone4461 So your view is your history of being mental slaves will continues forever. Your corrupt officials will carry on being corrupt. Your low quality of education especially for the poor will always be discussed and condemned by your own countries and then no action as some scumbag in higher authority will lose face. It is worse than the Marxist woke in the west. Hope one day you will mature as cultures enough. You are not slaves except in your own social constructs.

[@MrChinabear]

As someone who spent the last 19 years living with a Filipina I appreciate your fair and honest assessment’s of the Filipino culture. My only regret is that you weren’t posting these videos 19 years ago it would’ve saved me a lot of problems! 😂

[@farmerfox99]

Please be more specific. I might be planning myself into a hole. Lol

[@johnlacey3857]

There are many aspects of Filipino culture that I admire, but this isn’t one of them. “Saving face trumps honesty.. and relationships” - this is just sick. People need to be held responsible for their actions; if someone has committed a wrong then too bad - they don’t deserve to save face. Thanks for bringing this up Pea.

[@markplimsoll]

Good point. Shame, or social shunning, remains the main tool of religions to enforce their beliefs, created by groups exclusively male to control others, especially women.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

It’s definitely one way in which the East and west are VERY different, yes

[@erikderegt7511]

@@TheFilipinaPea missing the 10 amendments here?

[@ronjclm8590]

@@markplimsoll Sounds like Marxist bullshit. You sound well indoctrinated grasshopper. Yes. Some fundamentalist religions do insist that you can't speak to your sinning father. But Shame...in and of itself, is a good tool for a person to improve their place in their own mind and their community. I hate it that I wind up having to do business with liars and cheats. Too many businesses use deceit in their advertising and operation. The Government is the biggest liar. But you can go ahead and blame white men that don't carry the badge of "sissy".

[@mikek5298]

@@markplimsoll You are so full of shit your breath stinks. Another “men are evil” victim mentality. Grow up.

[@kirkster54]

Hmmm It sounds like "saving face" is a reason to justify not telling the truth (telling a lie). It would be much healthier to admit the truth, take the blame, and rectify the situation. Then move on happily ever after... Trust is huge, in a relationship.

[@TheJoynerChannel]

Now I know why my Filipina partner lied to me when she was caught lying. It destroyed our relationship and marriage here in America. And you are right, we don't want a perfect woman, we want a honest woman. It is always better to admit our faults, believe it or not, it helps the partnership, rather than hurt it. Thank you for this video!

[@flavioaugusto4751]

The same happened to me.

[@beleza86]

@@flavioaugusto4751 yep me too

[@doc47448]

I can be jail for telling the truth? Glad you did this video. I can now mark the Philipines off my places to retire list. Truth and honesty are at the top of my list of things that are important to me.

[@tonylynch8659]

"Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them." - Bruce Lee

[@silverfoxidm]

Maybe not always as time runs out -> Alma 34.32-34

[@elephantinrm]

If Bruce lived longer perhaps he would change his mind. Not fair to use such an example, one needs to encounter life before they can conclude such convictions. There is a reason why we have an educated guess and a theory.

[@dapacman8849]

Bruce lee confused the crap out of me ,plenty of foreign friends ,logical in his approach to most things in life and i couldn't comprehend how he was so different to nearly all the Chinese i met and then i saw a documentary on his life ,students of yipman(his wingchun instructor) said to him, you cant teach Bruce martial arts ,hes a foreign devil ???? i thought he was Chinese ???? his mother was half Chinese half German. Bruce Lee was 3/4 Chinese 1/4 German combined with his university major gave him a very different mindset.

[@craiglofton7219]

@@dapacman8849 yet Bruce is honored by China as well as the world

[@lorismith6398]

Buffalo Tom says--- Amen , bro !

[@hamiljohn]

I think this was a very even handed look at this. I'm going to go out on a limb and say the Filipinos will not agree. I've run into this more than once, and I understand the idea of saving face. But when caught in an out and out lie, I prefer reality. You'll never have a real relationship if you have to engage in the fantasy of saving face, especially over important matters. Honesty really is the best policy.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Oh yes, John, I’m waiting to get slammed for this one. Just waiting for the locals to see it …. 😂

[@BillCollins0707]

@@TheFilipinaPea I just forwared the link to one of my contacts. I warned her you are very honest. We shall see.

[@bentnickel7487]

@@TheFilipinaPea This is why I decided not to have a KZbin Channel. No matter which side you fall on, you're gonna have enemies. The other reason I don't have a channel is, "I'm lazy".

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Hahahahaha I think it’s more about the lazy 😂👍

[@BillCollins0707]

@@TheFilipinaPea I post all the time, check me out sometime. Lots of song duets with my Filipina online friends.

[@dont9098]

Saving face cost me my marriage to a Philipina, even when she was caught red handed, she lied. I'm sorry but I can't live with someone who is not honest to their partner. Excellent explanation Pea

[@markplimsoll]

You couldn't live with a totally honest person, either. People change, often at the whim of their limbic hormonal systems, way below thought. Commitment to the couple's common good, which often means dedication to the wellbeing of offspring, should guide all couple's behavior.

[@ronjclm8590]

@@markplimsoll I'd like some examples. "No I don't think that you're too fat" is the only one that I can come up with.

[@mikek5298]

LBH yellow fever didn’t quite work out as you planned, eh?

[@mikejardine6623]

What your wife done?

[@albertthedogeinstein7983]

Probably not being able to spell filipina was part of your marriage problems.

[@johnalvarez1976]

Well as a Christian, if you are a Christian, it don’t matter what the culture is, you say the truth. That’s why you live in integrity in the first place.

[@EricOmand]

Yup but most who claim to be Christian are not... Just another lie.

[@joedoe7706]

Perfect answer. The truth sets free of all bad. Lying for saving face, or for any reason at all, never does. In fact the first requirement to becoming a Christian is confessing our sins: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. And furthermore, Jesus spoke specifically about wronging another person. In that he made 2 specific statements: to go to that person and correct it, and go do that before coming to the Lord in prayer.

[@karlhungus1879]

For me personally, the “lie/deception” itself is not really the big issue. However, the reason behind it and the intent of the woman that committed the offense is a big deal. If the offense appears to truly be an accident/one-off incident, I am willing to let a bit of denial/lies slide to just smooth it over and move on. But when it is something intentional/planned and the woman is caught out and STILL will not own up to it and lies and lies to not be accountable, then its over. I cant tolerate a devious liar who would plot behind my back and then try to squirm out of it or twist it like its ok under the guise of “saving face”.

[@martinagnew7508]

Bingo. When it is intentional and planned, then the person has no shame. Don't walk away, start running.

[@ericchisolm2768]

You nailed it, agree 100% !!

[@markplimsoll]

A lie defines itself by intent, otherwise it's a mere mistake. Young people habitually say "Oops I lie" when correcting themselves, and it reveals a lack of comprehension, or a glib unimportance to not telling the truth.

[@angiela3035]

couldnt agree more

[@paulstan9828]

Two biggest things in a relationship Honesty and Keeping Your Promises.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Absolutely!!!!! 👍❤️

[@Grbherbtpusy48]

Yep !! And I was taught to under promise and over deliver..

[@Dutchy-1168]

It is what it is ‼️‼️😂😂

[@_Common_Logic_]

If you consider "I'll be there at 10:00-am" a promise... You might want to stay away from Filipinas 😂

[@jenserikjohansson6228]

Agri 100%

[@jeffbateman3620]

If you don't master your shame, then your shame will master you.

[@rocketranger1000]

Shame is a western concept and a good one! In a culture that accepts no responsibility there is no shame.

[@strohdog242]

@@rocketranger1000 Liberals also accept no responsibility.

[@windellchapman8397]

R I G H T O N N N N N N ! 🤬

[@papabear149]

My Filipina x girlfriend lied and told me, “there is nothing wrong with lying.” Crazy!

[@carvercapitalequitypartner122]

That was a WTF moment. Good to see she is now an ex.

[@juanbotero3769]

😆

[@papabear149]

@@carvercapitalequitypartner122 It really is good. I still love her and care about her a lot but life will be better without the drama. Thank you

[@billyjack7728]

I had one tell me " I didn't lie. I just changed my mind". LMAO

[@kano5307]

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH LYING JUST ASK THEM. THE ONLY TIME ITS WRONG TO LIE IS WHEN YOU LIE TO THEM SO WHEN THEY LIE TO ME THEY GET LIES IN RETURN…….

[@rvail136]

"WHY DO FILIPINAS LIE? / SAVING FACE in the Philippines" This is the single aspect of why I hesitate to marry a Filipina. I find them amazingly beautiful, but I want an honest life partner, not someone who lies...

[@jbrown8601]

They can learn, it took about a year for my fiance not change the mindset.

[@carvercapitalequitypartner122]

The filipinas are not all like that. For example, I trust Ms. Pea is not like that. A smart filipina will adapt to a guy's standards. A dumb one digs her own grave. Have a long trial period to see a person in multiple situations before any commitment. You really can find a good filipina using all your skills and learning from others. Good luck, it's amazing how wrong you can be sometimes.

[@reginaldabbott8697]

You're wise to hesitate. Most of them will lie to you to get you to marry them, and then you'll start seeing what they're really like. Better to just go over there and have a good time.

[@mohamedtlass3842]

@@carvercapitalequitypartner122 she isn’t available, and there is no way to know if she is really like this off of KZbin

[@robertreynolds580]

Here in the UK, if you get a reputation for lying, we make you Prime Minister!!!

[@dave9456]

If only it was a joke lol

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Hahahahaha Brilliant 😂😂😂

[@joe3802]

Seems to be the same in Canada

[@robertc.2465]

The U.S. "president" may have outdone all other leaders!

[@johnmurphy8791]

Pea, I loved your reply here. I thought it was "brilliant"!

[@PaleRider54]

Actually... saying she just ate one piece of cheesecake is the truth. It was in one piece when she made it and that piece was gone after she ate it. 😂

[@markbrown1622]

I was thinking the same thing. It's still one piece until it's sliced. 😄

[@erniebell1858]

This would be simple to fix. Bake a chocolate cake with plenty of Exlax added to the chocolate icing. When she eats the cake confront her about it. Then tell her that the toilet will be her judge because she will have a severe case of diarrhea.

[@vanceb1]

@@erniebell1858 When I was in high school a guy did that with chocolate chip cookies. The janitors couldn't figure out why the toilet paper dispensers were empty.

[@kenkneram4819]

Thank you "Electric Company." 🤣

[@glennraydavis]

No one who practices deceit, shall dwell in my house ...No one who utters lies, shall continue before my eyes

[@martintremblay1476]

Saving face is not an 'asian' or a PH thing, its something that happened everywhere underdevelopped. You should know that lying is dishonorable because you have some level of education and social interaction. Do not lie. Do not try to excuse lying. Do not blame incapacity to be honest on anything else but yourself. You will be judged. Learn humility and honesty, dont pretend its a cultural thing to be dishonorable.

[@anthonyluchese1931]

Exactly 💯💯💯💯

[@BenCase88]

He who dares not offend cannot be honest. ~Thomas Paine

[@clydekimsey7503]

I bet he never traveled to the Philippines or had a pinay🤣😅

[@glennraydavis]

Thumbs up Ben...

[@woodpeckery]

Here's some more! * A rolling stone gathers no moss. ~Publilius Syrus * A stitch in time saves nine. ~Dr. Thomas Fuller * The squeaky wheel gets the grease but the quacking duck gets shot. ~Carl Sandburg

[@TheFilipinaPea]

There’s much truth in this 👍

[@hughmcelhone1996]

Be careful with using that Thomas Paine quote to justify being an ass with a bully victim mentality. I like this by Ralph Waldo Emerson “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

[@roguetiger3163]

Saving face = denial = deception = disaster. If your a person who lives by a code of honor , respect , loyalty and integrity you could not tolerate a saving face culture. Great video Pea, showing another side of the 🇵🇭 culture .

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Thanks for appreciating my effort, Rogue 💋

[@roguetiger3163]

@@TheFilipinaPea Congrats on 75k....you earned it!!!

[@Laurie_H]

Lying usually lead to infidelity because the other person can't be trusted. Two wrongs don't make a right!

[@_Common_Logic_]

My mindset was that I wasn't moving to the Philippines to "be an American" and force my ways on anyone... I wanted to change. Also, it's our "duty" as the expat to check our surroundings, and become one with them them... That being said, there was the "short list" of things that were non-negotiable in my relationship and honesty along with direct communication were on that list. No exceptions. Most changes an Westerner will go through will be self improvement as we settle into traditional, sometimes provincial ways. We come with a boatload of bad habits and cultural baggage... But when something is "Right" (like honesty), it's just right. You don't just "get used" to selective deception. Admittedly, I had NO CLUE how deep the "saving face" mentality and it's justification went until it hit me directly between the eyes and blew my mind. As crazy as it seems, Pea's not exaggerating one bit, and it DOES defy all logic.

[@michaelrobert8476]

Maybe we can start a truth trend.

[@nonenone4461]

Not to be rude but you are dangerously deluded. Your focus should be on what you want. Honesty, trust and respect are the only things that make a relationship work but you must understand and never lose sight of the fact that YOU are the important one in the relationship. If the situation does not meet your needs and desires, you should not be there. Anything you do with anyone, especially the woman comes AFTER and ONLY if your wants, needs and desires are met. This thing with saving face. If you tolerate it or not, depends heavily on this issue. A woman who has worked hard to bond to you, deserves some slack on issues like this. A woman who has not, however, deserves no slack and little patience.

[@cuperjeniusinterprises7940]

I’ve watched a lot of these vids. This should be the first one people watch. Sums up a lot for when you are over there or dating one somewhere else or even hanging out/interacting. It seems most of Asia practices lying in order to not have confrontation or be embarrassed or damage their societal reputation. It took me a while to get used to it. Sometimes it works out well. Often it’s very annoying and frustrating

[@Flymike53]

I’ve experienced this and was amazed at the lies and mental gymnastics that followed a confrontation with evidence. This of course made things even worse leading to complete lack of trust and breakdown. I appreciate you telling us how this is in Filipino culture, I didn’t realise it was so deep. Thanks a lot Pea 😀🙏

[@boracay12]

Married to a Pinay 30 years . I caught her lying so much .looks me in the eye ....and total b.s. comes out of her mouth . Example .I asked my daughter to wash the outside deck . But when I came home she said she didn't have time so mom did . I see " mom" she looks me in the eye and says our daughter cleaned the deck .really? .....yes . I JUST TALKED TO HER ,SHE SAID YOU CLEANED IT ! ... ..OH ....😕 Now take that situation and apply it to every conversation you ever have . I have told her you are the most dishonest person I have ever met . AND when I ask a question or am told info ..I always need to cross examine her to determine if it's true or part true or total b.s. in my opinion it's often to avoid conflict . And then there is Making up a incorrect answer cause they don't know what the answer to a question asked . That I guess would be saving face .

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Yes, that’s part of saving face too

[@Acceptance888]

Anybody caught out in a lie deserves to be smashed and slept in face

[@flavioaugusto4751]

@@TheFilipinaPea The majority of the Filipinas are like that? That scary!!! Are you single? I Just Trust you. If you wish, I can bring you to Brazil.

[@andykruth]

@@flavioaugusto4751 and who the fuck wants to live in Brazil.

[@marcom2248]

It's astounding that you are able to analyse the "not so good" habbits and tradition from a neutral point of view. Thank you very much for your honesty. 👍

[@TheFilipinaPea]

I always try to look at a subject from a neutral position, yes, to avoid bias 👍😊

[@debergiacwhite4401]

Lying is so hurtful.. it can ruin a relationship. There's really only one time to lie.. and that's when you assume a horizontal or resting position on a supporting surface, about to go to sleep.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Yes, lie to DEATH and hope he’ll think you’re still alive, and let you go! (or challenge him to a game of Twister and Battleship) 😂

[@michaelwilliams741]

Your funny, but that's true

[@markplimsoll]

Confusing post, about plausible deniability? Seems to me that lies PROTECT relationships. We fall for people we hang out with. No sense in confessing your feelings for a workmate to your significant other, when asked, and they do ask because they often instinctively feel and recognize your interest!

[@timchapman8539]

Excellent video as usual, Pea. I want to clarify something for you. When a person is fired for incompetence and the company says they are leaving to pursue other interests, the company does not do this to save face. They do it to avoid getting sued. They don't care about the employee. Our society is very litigious and companies try to avoid being sued like the plague.

[@seangaskin7608]

Only in America

[@carlosnorris352]

Not really. I fired people and I say because they’re incompetent and or idiots. I had their performance report as proof. Never been sued.

[@richsharp6871]

good point

[@digitaldunce4270]

Great video.. How does Christianity and "Thou shalt not lie" fit in the culture.?

[@JH-wg2lo]

Ha, guess it’s do as i say, not as i do.

[@johnv5156]

Sounds a bit of an oxymoron to me.

[@bobbruce4135]

One of the most common prayer phrases I've heard there is "save me". I find it's not about empathy, only fear of punishment and desire for rewards. The wedding vow says: "put the spouse first", which clearly can't be truthfully said as their genetic family comes first.

[@acbikeatgmaildotcom]

You mean 'Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour? The 9th commandment. that specifically refers to lying to harm someone.

[@richardgallagher61]

It’s ignored because saving face is more important and more expedient than honesty. There are many, many other mentions in the Bible about how God detests liars and lying. A good and concise example-Prov. 12:22 “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.” It’s not just the 9th commandment my friend.

[@troyarthur829]

This certainly explains some of the difficulties I have with my Wives family in the Philippines. Plain and simple they are very “Self Righteous” in thinking they can do no wrong sometimes.

[@MassimoVilla]

This is another Pea's brutally honest explanation of differences between cultures. Hat off.

[@bobdobbs7828]

"We're looking into a Green Lane for allowing tourists in to the Philippines" was a pretty big recent lie.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Hahahahaha

[@w4vy]

Wish they'd sort it out I want to go back.

[@schneider9615]

Excellent! 😂🇵🇭🇺🇸

[@billsilva4574]

@@w4vy they won't until they come to terms with the truth about covid.....and that the whole world has been decided.

[@nonenone4461]

@@TheFilipinaPea Nothing funny about that. The problem is rooted in bald faced lies the Western World has spread far and wide about Covid. Almost everything about the issue is a lie. Especially the vaccine which is thousands if not tens of thousands of times more risky than the disease itself.

[@juanbotero3769]

It seems difficult to me to have a relationship with a lady with this kind of thinking, pretty sad, you never will be able to build trust like this. A solid relationship has to be based on true not on lies, thanks for the honesty Pea, I already found out that this is a common case back there, greetings.

[@Jratl99]

another red flag getting in the way of developing a GOOD relationship with a filipina. I guess your video should be mandatory viewing for all foreigners traveling to the Philippines and choosing a partner. nice work and we appreciate your candor.

[@lennya9090]

OMG? I have been busy but this video NAILED IT! I have been her 3 years in Nov and looking for JUST ONE good woman? So far I have 57 that will come be with me as long as I pay for their all expense paid vacation at my expense? I have caught 13 in lies BEFORE we even met. 3-4 scammers on line and one for 3 days in person. I have 3-4 from Tagbilaran that will not spend 50 pesos to come meet me but will gladly spend every peso to my name. I have 2-3 that want a "Long term serious relationship" But no sex? WTF? I have that now without you? And cheaper? LOL You actually are exactly what I am looking for to have my 6 million pesos baby but we know that will never happen? But, your intelligence, work ethic, compatible cultural understanding and perfect English, sense of humor, able to think outside the box, honesty integrity, loyalty, integrity, ethics, values and morals are the same I bring to the table? So why settle for less? Been busy but have to get back on board with ya and this video NAILED IT? Without honesty, respect, ethics & values in a relationship, you have NOTHING. GOOD JOB baby girl

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Thanks so much for that, Lenny, and there ARE other Filipinas like me here …… somewhere …… maybe 😂

[@clydekimsey7503]

@@TheFilipinaPea .......somewhere over the rainbow 🤣

[@119jle]

I went through six hundred online, and found myself with two perfect 10's and can not make up my mind a year later.

[@vladimirromashka7853]

The key word is maybe 😂

[@markplimsoll]

Echoing my feelings... but Pea is a bit well-travelled to believe your fawning description of divine purity... she seems single... so....

[@brianp6097]

A perfect explanation and understanding of the issue as always Pea. Western men hate liars, they’ve often just split up with one in their own country, so encountering another one is a no no, however pretty she may be. Mostly the things that filipinas lie about, aren’t important enough to risk damaging the trust in the relationship. Your advice to them is spot on.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Yes, there are a lot of ‘petty’ lies that you guys are not supposed to make a big deal over 😂

[@guyandre4946]

hear hear ! 😀

[@michaelrobert8476]

I know you would never lie Ms. Pea. I think the world of you and hope your life is going great.

[@riverland22]

Thanks so much for explaining that, Pea. You've helped me understand my Cambodian friend. I've always thought it was her personality or character or something developed as a protective mechanism. Also, believe it or not, as I'm a Westerner, it has helped me realise about something I've been doing, which is basically lying, but not in a deliberate, malicious way. Maybe in this instance I'm trying to save face, or protect my reputation. I need to think about it some more, but thanks so much for this video and your straightforwardness. It's been a real blessing ❤️.

[@waynejensen4150]

Well Pea , I realize that this may be a cultural thing ; I also would hope that it's not expected that us Westerners walk around like we're on eggshells.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

It will feel that way to you, yes, and you’ll probably need to keep your reactions in check, which many foreigners can’t do at first, until they adopt an attitude of ‘I don’t believe anything anyone tells me” 😔

[@sosodave4192]

as horrific as this answer is, I would suggest simply assuming that literally every person you speak to is lying to you, and you should double and triple and quadruple check everything that you are told because of that. and ultimately you need to end up with an attitude of simply not caring. again, as horrific as that sounds, you need to give up on the idea of true love with a Filipina because they will never actually respect your love or anything else that you offer them. and sure, she may stick by you for life, but because of how she was brought up, you will never honestly know for sure. so to avoid having your heart broken you simply don't give it. you live in sweet and pleasant cohabitation, but you should never actually truly love anyone from a culture that practices saving face, because they will screw you without thinking twice about it.

[@truttman]

Don't go there permanently unless you're prepared for a radical change. The P.I. may have a large ethnic mix, but it is firmly Asian in culture. If you have never traveled to to Asia or lived there (military, etc.), take a few long vacations before moving. You will not regret that expense.

[@billsilva4574]

@@TheFilipinaPea I was taught tell the truth. And there are things in life that to change for the better. I do appreciate your honesty in approaching this concept. And I know that you do not condone it. But let's not try and water it down. Truth is true. Lying is dishonest. You can try to shape it anyway you want to. But one is right and what is wrong. Period

[@nonenone4461]

@@TheFilipinaPea I don't think you understand. Most Americans will not get upset or even tell you in reaction to such things. No....we ghost on women for this. Your boyfriend or even your husband will mysteriously vanish without a trace. Control has nothing to do with it. In fact, you might be shocked if the lie is serious enough. Especially among the high IQ part of society, what seems like a secret he will never find out about, he instantly figured it out from things outside the awareness of most people. The first hint you know there is a problem is he vanishes. You won't find him. And even if you do, he won't talk to you. The strong possibility of this and the reasons why should be carefully considered before choosing to "save face". Most American men will simply disagree with the issue entirely as just another lie. In our minds, a woman is either viable or she isn't. If she isn't there is no point. Worse, malfeasance is assumed. After all, that is almost always the case in our experience. Why do you think men come to Phils at all? I think that is something to SERIOUSLY consider. If I wanted sex in relationships where I do not care if I trust the woman or not, it is actually cheaper for me to regularly travel some place like Brazil and pay a pittance for some of the hottest women on the planet to care for all my sexual needs, then it would be to have a girlfriend and date. Let alone risking a wife. The ONLY thing you have to offer a man like me is love. And the honesty and trust that goes with it. Trip to Brazil? $300. Trip to Phils? $3000. Already there has to be significant motivation to go there. The primary lure is the ability to meet someone who just isn't a bad person. Bad people are outed by their behavior.

[@anthonyliggins8156]

The "saving face" deception tactic may work in a Filipino relationship when both parties come from the same culture and trust each other unequivocally. But when one is a foreigner with considerable more finances then trust is an absolute necessity and even a small white lie can deliver a death blow to that relationship. I would insist on honesty but at the same time be sensitive to her needs so she can feel safe to be honest and save face at the same time.

[@sosodave4192]

I would argue that you are exactly correct. in the privacy of their relationship, she needs to feel completely safe that she can be honest with him without him being overly critical of her. but at the same time, she needs to realize that she doesn't have a get out of jail free card. she needs to realize that the very best way to avoid having to lie is to never do anything that requires you to lie in the first place.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Excellent perspective, Anthony 👍😊

[@guyandre4946]

@@TheFilipinaPea... I would argue that "considerable more finances" should not enter in the equation: any "westerner" knows and understand well the financial inequality to be encountered and some use it to their advantage, so ..."playing with fire ..." A Filipina instinctively will think that ..."apply business formula in love" is the natural, even instinctive thing to do ... so why blame them? Westerners made a deliberate choice by emigrating in the Philippines, Filipinas did not ... when one is a guest one should behave accordingly, even more in such a beautiful and so welcoming country ... Saving face can be a much better reaction than a long argument that will turn nasty ... There is here a kind of wisdom to be used and not fought against ... if not go back and see how, and if, western women are going to ignore and keep away from your "considerable more finances" if there is any left after a "good honest western woman" takes you legally to the cleaners ... which is probably why a westerner is in the Philippines at the first place 😂

[@michaelrobert8476]

@@sosodave4192 - one lie leads to another and then more lying to cover up the prior lies.

[@nonenone4461]

@@TheFilipinaPea He is being less than honest about the reasons behind this. American women have fallen to such a low common denominator and laws having to do with divorce are so insane in this country that a man has to burn a relationship at the first hint he can't trust a woman. Almost all men you meet from the West will have this paranoia. A rather large number will not allow you to step foot in their country of origin over the matter. If the worse happens in Phils, recovery is highly probable. Same woman brought to the US and everyone involved is going to suffer.

[@ByronWatts]

Truth is a huge deal to me. This one is tough for me to honor. Great video.

[@yirehmiyahmagsayo361]

thanks Filipina pea for sharing this topic for both filipino and foreign guys

[@stanleybriones518]

Well, this video explains A LOT!!! This information is too little too late for me and my wallet (my fault). This explains soooo freakin much and can’t even begin to explain. 😖. Thank you for your videos, Pea. 🥰

[@TheFilipinaPea]

I’m just sorry I was too late, Stanley ……

[@craigschuler1547]

But it's all fine and fair for a Filipina to totally destroy a foreigner when things don't flow in her favor. Ask almost any foreigner who chose to end a relationship.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Funny how that works, right?

[@markplimsoll]

Explain this total destruction idea, please? Like sending a person into depression? Been there...

[@michaelrobert8476]

When I ended with a Thai, all hell broke loose. She said God and Buddha will punish me. I said: wishing harm on someone isn't very Buddhist-like. Now I'm scared of Thai women. I hope I never experience the wrath of a Filipina.

[@fuggoff5277]

@@TheFilipinaPea only with the help of certain institutions from overseas......

[@nonenone4461]

@@TheFilipinaPea Did I mention men tend to deal with these issues by ghosting. Your man will be back in some unreachable place like Idaho, before you even know there is a problem.

[@Bogie6588]

This is a fantastic video! Thank you, Pea! You've given me some insight into things that have tormented me for years. Not only about the Philippines, but about certain cultures here in the U.S. as well. When someone lies, they instantly lose my respect and trust because the person is refusing to accept responsibility for their actions. It's especially bothersome if their actions have caused serious harm to others. In certain cultures here, the perpetrators will victimize someone or their community, then blatantly deny their actions and even resist arrest to the point of endangering their own lives, as well as the lives of others. And incredibly, if the perpetrator gets hurt while resisting, then they will pretend to be the "victims" and often win the case in court. It's about "saving face", even to the point of death. So tragic and unnecessary. :(

[@timothycarter6539]

OMG thank you for the link, but I've seen this already, that's how i learned about Pinay saving face.

[@davidjackson7715]

Interesting subject , I've had experienced this but I do understand it . I find it embarrassing when I'm in a social situation and foreigners are justly critical about a situation they have experienced and the philippinos are cringing . Thanks for another great vlog 🌹

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Yes, we find your bluntness to be cringeworthy 😂 (I actually appreciate it, myself)

[@Jim-be8sj]

I wonder if always being honest would completely prevent the need to save face.

[@billsilva4574]

There's some truth right there

[@Galahad54]

Sometimes it is expected to lie to save another person's reputation, Someone who always tells the whole truth will learn that being a skunk is very lonely.

[@thomashauguel6811]

You covered this issue before, although this is a more deep dive into the concept of saving face. I find that Japanese customs of saving face are the pinnacle of this issue, and they get VERY testy when you challenge them on it (I found this out when I caught a shopkeeper radically overcharging me for something and trying to deny it). Ultimately you are correct This is part of Filipino culture and it is not the place for guests to demand that Filipinos change their culture in any way. That said, communication up front is the key to bridging cultural differences and establishing boundaries as to what you find acceptable and what you do not. Excellent video, Miss Pea! You really got to the crux of the issue.

[@robmckrill3134]

Sounds like the best way not to have complications with the relationship is..don't have one lol. Hiya in my culture is a greeting, meaning hello.

[@johnellanios9717]

Bless you, Pea : Thank you for explaining "Hiya" :) You have a wonderful Aura of Kindness , and, Understanding . .

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Thanks so much, John 👍

[@daisyantimor1604]

Telling lies to save one's face is somewhat true to our culture. Mostly, it's the product of a man's hubris. But personally, I still think it depends in the context and the person itself. Saving one's face for good reasons is still acceptable but to put a person in danger or to lift one's reputation is quite disappointing. This shouldn't be normalized in our culture. Not because everyone is doing it: we should follow it as well. Whatever situations we are in, I feel that we must be true to ourselves. Truths can hurt sometimes but it will also give us peace of mind. Nice content Pea!

[@markplimsoll]

At my advanced age, after a Human Resouces department removed my application due to a personality test ( Meyers-Briggs), out of curiousity I took the test and the results amazed me. They were right. It explained so much about my life. And some of us need to blow our own horn, because the majority of people cannot recognize the pearls, and neither can swine. You seem like a pearl. Be proud, prideful, and don't let the judgement of others inhibit what you know you should do out of the "goodness of your heart," or to increase social justice. Take that personality test, several times. Wish I had gotten those results in college, instead of after four decades of proving its validity!

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Thanks so much, Ysiad! Where are you from?

[@guyandre4946]

So well said and argumentized ... with such rare philosophical view you are a winner, and a pearl Ysiad 😀

[@tman5634]

Ysiad Saving face for good reason is acceptable you say... But were do you draw the line? One persons good reason night not be anothers. Owning up to ones mistakes, ones wrong doings, accepting that you're not perfect & never will be, is the way to grow, to become a better being. Being accountable is the only way the human race can evolve & go forward, for the better.

[@daisyantimor1604]

@@TheFilipinaPea I'm from Davao. Nice to meet you here! Great content on your vids 😊

[@amanuesis]

Pea, I told a filipina I learned about hiya and she said yes shy. I said I thought it's shame or embarrassment. She said yes. And then it hit me. Months of conversation came flooding back. She uses the word shy to mean hiya. She would say I'm shy to tell you or I'm shy to my mother. I thought that sounded odd. In America, shy just means you're not outgoing, it's hard for you to meet new people or talk to strangers. Now I understand what she means. Thank you, Pea for helping break down the language barrier. 😁🥰

[@TheFilipinaPea]

And quite a barrier it is!

[@andreasgehrmann4081]

Your analysis is amazing, thanks

[@wayneholmes637]

This is pretty much true in all of east and south east asia.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Yes, saving face is primarily an Asian thing 👍

[@woodspirit98]

And the middle east, russia, Europe and every other place.

[@fionnmaccumhaill3257]

@@TheFilipinaPea This appears to create a culture of lies and liars. Lies destroy....everything!

[@bobbydelgado4502]

@@TheFilipinaPea And a huuuuge cultural problem for us Westerners. A deal breaker. We have to understand that it doesn't make us better, just very different. Admittedly, it's incredibly bothersome for me. I just don't understand it. And it's my problem to correct or walk away from. I can't change an entire culture because lil ol me dislikes something. Haaaaa. I need to get over myself sometimes.

[@dariusslade4953]

Professor Pea, great class! As for "poking the hontas"? Funny!

[@carusmike]

Individually or collectively, saving face is a priority, even to the point of allowing others to save face. And 'truth' becomes the victim instead. It's noticeable how for many decades, Filipinos have allowed their political leaders to save face, and the people accept their lies. Those nasty foreign visitors would love the Philippines to prosper and get out of poverty, but you soon realise, poverty is acceptable and preferable to losing face.

[@markplimsoll]

That's why we from the USA cannot see our complicity in helping impoverish the Philippines by supporting (the ONLY REASON he held power!) President Ferdinand Marcos (1965 - 1986) and family loot the nation that had the 2nd strongest economy in Asia, after Japan, when he came to power. He left power 10 Billion dollars richer, with a wife "the Iron Butterfly" Imelda famous for her 1,000 pair shoe collection, and many other extravagances.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

ANYTHING is more acceptable than losing face, yes 😔

[@SIDEBYSIDERACING]

@@markplimsoll the official shoe count was somewhere around 2,700 pairs.. and Ferdinand and his wife are in the book of records for the most money ever embezzled from a country by its “leader”!! Yet there are STILL many citizens from the Philippines who consider Ferdinand the BEST leader EVER!!! That’s a real “ head scratcher” if you think about it!! The level of dishonesty, greed and damage to the Philippines Citizens at that time, is damn near incomprehensible!!!!!!! 🙁😭🙁😭🙁😭🙁

[@stub4958]

@@SIDEBYSIDERACING I visited the Philippines a few years after and had a couple of the locals tell me the same thing. Marcos was bad, but when he was there, they only had to pay him off. After he left, they had to pay everyone! They wanted him back, it was cheaper in the long run. I'm not sure how much of that would apply today.

[@kristiangranstrom9158]

The election was stolen, it was ANTIFA 😂😂😂😂

[@carlschleicher5516]

This explains a lot. Hopefully I'll remember it if or when i finally get there. Thanks

[@stevemoreton2751]

You are so wise and honest Pea! I see this often. Thanks

[@roadside7531]

Saving Face is all about family. Respect from her family is very important, respect is very important to a Filipina. Thank you Pea for explaining the truth of bringing shame to a Filipina. Great Video 🙏🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Thanks Roadside, and yes, filipinos are very affected by the concept 👍

[@tman5634]

Very true Roadside, that said theres a few Asian females that i'd like to show up & tell the truths about, to their family. If only they knew the truths hey ! Bad to the core truths !

[@kenkneram4819]

I've known plenty of western women who do this. It's one of the reasons that I don't date American women.

[@kenkneram4819]

@@ColonelHoganStalag13 True. The sad thing is that many American women will commit violent acts against there men and expect to get away with it but goddess forbid a man should defend himself!!! I don't abide by abuse in a relationship no matter the gender of the abuser. One of my ex hit me out of anger once. I glared at har and told he in no uncertain terms that if she did it again she'd "Never be aloud in my home again." I latter found out that we weren't as "Exclusive" as I thought we were so I tossed her out on her ear. You don't play games with my health, and I don't tolerate hypocrisy or violence against me. Honestly, I don't know why American women can't understand that they get no benefit from treating men in the exact manner that they object to being treated BY men. I love women, but I love myself more.

[@mikejardine6623]

Women's in germany don't do that directly, they just skip it to provide you with so called all informations. It's unnaxious.

[@carvercapitalequitypartner122]

@@ColonelHoganStalag13 - Add that one to the long list of negative traits of the modern American woman. They will justify anything they want to do and never accept fault.

[@joedoe7706]

Thank you so much for telling the heart of us good men: we never expect a perfect lady, we desire an honest lady.

[@buellrichardson5222]

So many good points for everyone both native and foreigner to think about

[@davewade7464]

Self pride usually does lead to deceptions and lies. And other sins that are against God's commands.

[@cattywampusmcdoogle]

Yep.... thou shalt not LIE and thou shalt not give FALSE WITNESS. Direct commandments that are ignored and lies are not only common but encouraged and promoted.

[@markplimsoll]

Bull shiite. Become proud by going to college and dropping your silly religious beliefs, created by groups exclusively male to control others, especially women. Science depends on SKEPTICISM and defines Objective Truths. Childlike Believers like you seek Big Daddy of the Universe, instead of asking the reasonable question "How did the Universe begin?" without anthropomorphizing a need for a sentient being to serve as creator and parent.

[@BonerForest]

@@markplimsoll Me thinks that thou protested too much🤪

[@erniebell1858]

Well, at least they aren't killing their children for being disrespectful like the Old Testament commands.

[@carusmike]

Amazing the lengths people will go to, when saying 'sorry' so often solves everything and gets the whole issue forgotten much quicker.

[@bentnickel7487]

As a westener, you would think that way, but I'm also a westener and I see the value of "saving face".

[@erniebell1858]

You should forgive, but never forget. Otherwise, it will probably happen over and over again.

[@Lync1111]

Interesting and understood.

[@JoeJennieJourney]

Very well said kaibigan Pea

[@KingRat71]

If you told the truth then you didnt bring shame on them. They brought shame on themselves by their bad behavior. Saving face will get them in trouble with God.

[@flavioaugusto4751]

That's right.

[@rjoetting7594]

As long as the cheese cake was whole and not sliced it was only one piece. 😁😆😅🤣😂

[@glencoull6434]

Hahahaha, lateral thinking.

[@erniebell1858]

This would be simple to fix. Bake a chocolate cake with plenty of Exlax added to the chocolate icing. When she eats the cake confront her about it and then tell her that the toilet will be her judge because she will have a severe case of diarrhea.

[@Montjo02]

Lol I KNEW if I looked down far enough someone would say this because it was the first thing I thought when she said that.

[@MichaelGolpe]

Very informative, Pea. Thank you!

[@robertlutwick1948]

love your honesty ! and exposure ! good job dear,keep up the great job

[@googleplay9522]

I think a combination of both is healthy. Sometimes, changing a non-desirable behavior takes time. I think saving face in that process keeps relationships happy. I never really thought about this. Very valuable information. I will deeply reflect on this. Thanks 👍

[@11ccom]

After thinking about this, it explains "Chinese wackiness".

[@ryanheinig7975]

To all you Filipina's out there, what Pea said about being honest, and speaking truth, is very important to us American foreigners. Like Pea said, most of us not looking for a perfect Filipina. We honor and respect you more for your honesty. Many of us are forgiving, and understanding too. Thank you Pea for sharing this. Just one more thing I've learned today from you, makes it easier to stay on friendlier side with your people when I go there to visit. Plus, helps increase my knowledge and to understand my filipina wife as well. 🤗🥰❤🤗 Thank you Pea. 🤗

[@AsianRomance]

Thanks for bringing clarity to such a complicated subject! -Nils

[@cattywampusmcdoogle]

Saving face is easy.... don't do something that you would need to do "save face" about. You want a good reputation then do the work to keep and make a good reputation.

[@markplimsoll]

You ignore the judgementalism, the divisive power of religious thought, at your own peril.

[@cattywampusmcdoogle]

@@markplimsoll yep.... thou shalt not lie or thou shalt not give false witness is a real thing... biblical even. Lol.

[@TheFilipinaPea]

That would be the best way, yup 👍

[@nonenone4461]

@@markplimsoll I think not. Aholes are rarely able to work together and muster anything of a threat to anyone. By contrast I am used to wielding power, both personally and in groups. Why should I care about what a few losers think of me when I have strong relationships with the police, the mayor, organized crime figures (yes....a big deal), the church and more, they depend on me. A conflict of this nature will end badly.....for them. Has ended badly in the past as my family protects its own and some of our own are in Phils bonded by marriage to my brother.

[@erniebell1858]

Or else, don't get caught.

[@Srichardson64]

You're always upfront, is one of the many reasons we all adore you. However, like you stated... this is a very very hard thing..a difference in cultures...that is sooo very hard to adapt too. I bet you had a headache looking at both sides and trying ( achieved ) to explain this all... and to all the people in your country, please wait until she is done, she is not bashing your culture, she is only trying to explain the differences ;)

[@charlesandanaylnw4892]

Great video and good advice for everyone!!!

[@WJHTravelCH]

I love you so much!!! As a supporter you enhance my knowledge about the culture ❤

[@oahuguy3918]

Thank you for attempting the explain the cultural differences - I'm still having a hard time with this one... Zig Ziggler said it best "Tell the truth, and tell it ever, cost it what it will. For he who hides the wrong he's done, does the wrong thing still".

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Wise words, I’m my opinion 👍

[@tomstarzeck7137]

I remember Zig doing a seminar at church when I was a teenager.. his insight and positive outlook still to this day is eye opening in simplicity.. mom still has a few of his books.

[@marcelleorton95]

Good 'ol Ziggy...

[@thomasthumim7630]

In most of the Caribbean countries anyone who mess up is encouraged to confess. Anyone who did something foolish will be confronted by their pairs. It's not uncommon to call a spade a spade or to tell someone what's on your mind.

[@guyandre4946]

Hummm really? a spade in the Caribbean's ... some might take umbrance or umbrage ... 😂

[@TheFilipinaPea]

That’s the way it should be, I think 👍

[@tman5634]

thomas Thats my kinda country then. I should have been born there.

[@michaelwatson6617]

That was nice of you to share

[@kilbane1951]

Another great video pea. You do wonderful work.

[@joekahno]

The Japanese have a work around that seems to help, at least in a business environment. The concept of "fix the problem, not the blame". Knowing you can bring a problem to the attention of those who have the best chance of fixing it, without risking loss of face for the party that created it, allowed them to become a global leader in manufacturing and technology. China is beating them right now on price but if you're shopping for an item that *has* to work, you look for "Japan quality" or "export grade".

[@nonenone4461]

China is not beating anyone on anything. They have yet again created a situation where there is a 30% deficit on what they can obtain and what is needed to feed its population. An absolute disgrace considering recent past prosperity. They are literally the only nation to have such severe negative growth absent a major catrastophe. More...their pattern of behavior twice now, and probably a third time is to purge their government and send the old government to die in work camps (re-education). That is if they survive the public shaming where they are changed to a fence and anyone from the population is allowed to do anything they want to them. China will probably collapse as neither the old Soviet Union nor the United States has the resources to rescue them from this as has been done in the past.

[@jbrown8601]

Japan is doing well without slave labor, unlike china:D

[@paulbucklebuckle4921]

Lying ruins relationships , trust is all that a relationship can be built on , some cultural thing need to go ,,in most cultures that is buy the way ,, I save my face by working hard to be honest .

[@olyman63]

Great show Pea thank you for all the info

[@Sarge57]

Excellent video. It explains a lot about my fiance. I will work harder to be more understanding and not push the discrepancies in her speech when they aren't important. God Bless!

[@jp_unexpectedcouple]

I think the hardest decision, is when I need to choose between what is right and what makes me happy,, I choose what is right, I tell him what is right because i want to be honest but it goes to a nightmare 💔 he thinks I broke his trust and he never gave me a chance to explain 😭 chance never exists to him

[@michaelwilliams741]

What can you do , just try find someone else that has a bit more understanding

[@TheFilipinaPea]

What did he accuse you of?

[@guyandre4946]

Choose what makes you happy, your own happiness should be primordial if he really loves you Money comes and go, that is what it is here for, real Love is so rare, and rarer, a true gentleman will always understand and try to understand first. Besides, happiness will create dopamine and endorphins, which will make you feel even better 😀

[@tman5634]

Jennie, In this case, he's not the right man for you. Being true to yourself & accountable for your actions is the only real policy the human race has, if it wants to redeem a positive future. There are many men out there that have this quality & will be a better suiter.

[@23FABILA]

Highly surprising to me, coming from a predominantly religious country. (The 8th commandment flat out condemns lying in any form). I can’t seem to wrap my head around a concept in which a person who tells lies also expects to be told the truth🤷🏻. And it’s disturbing to me that they even created an alt name for it to somehow justify its practice. But great video Pea, thanks for touching on this.

[@tman5634]

You are absolutely right & I used to feel/think just as you do. Over time i've realised that it's better not to try & understand, quite simply because it's back to front for almost all Westerners.

[@cajunphilippine]

You understand the Western and the philippine cultural well to distinguish the differences in the understanding of each one of us our beliefs. That is very intellectual in my beliefe. God bless you more my friend.

[@nicholasjones9163]

Ah Pea, I'm afraid that you done it, proving what an intelligent and wise teacher that you are to your people and to foreigners alike. If you keep this up your going to be crowned mayor of moral integrity, honesty and of encouraging more mature and loving relationships for the whole planet, not just the Philippines. Because so many of your videos are full of this same uplifting of character and love to all listeners. Well done yet again.😁

[@ralphmossor3160]

My policy is "NO LIES/ NO SECRETS"... nothing else will work in a relationship. I will not have a relationship with anyone who doesn't agree with this!!!!!

[@erniebell1858]

Wow. And I thought that only Jesus was perfect. You must equate yourself to Christ.

[@larryp3641]

To me, a westerner, love is unconditional but lies breaks down a relationship. I accept everything about the person and even love the flaws,

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Good attitude!

[@markplimsoll]

Baloney. Uncondition love, which a relationship with a pet exemplifies, disappears the first time the dog bites the baby. You love flaws? You fool yourself. That's a pretty big flaw for anyone else to love about you, Larry P. Education remains the most valuable thing you can offer anyone.

[@Leo-ws1id]

Every thing will come to the Light Great video 😍😊

[@MrEkrause]

Another very good relevant topic!

[@nordagonce5595]

I'm all for honesty but sometimes there's a good reason. My husband told me a white lie that he did not reveal the truth until after we got married. The circumstances were easily forgivable and no big deal. He carried a load he didn't have to carry. Otherwise we both are so open to each other.

[@iomtilt]

It's not just a Filipina that can eat an entire cheese cake, my ex wife did too. Fabulous video Pea 🇵🇭🇬🇧👍

[@TheFilipinaPea]

Did she finally explode? 😂

[@osiristransitioning7929]

Very informative

[@daviddalton5851]

Thank you for this video. I am a well fit man with a Filipina wife and 3 kids. Our marriage is swimming in lies. I've tried to communicate with her family and have been blocked and shut out. Allowing lies in a marriage literally tears down a child's life. From the west yes it makes me feel like i can't move forward.