THIS Is Why Narcissists Isolate You

Narcissists need to isolate you in order for the game to work. One of the parameters of the Stockholm Syndrome is the isolation from outside perspectives. This isolation could be physical or psychological. In this video, I’m going to talk about why some people think the Stockholm Syndrome can’t be caused in toxic relationships. You’ll find out about 4 reasons why narcissists isolate you and what you can do about it now.
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NOTE: Meredith Miller is not a therapist or counselor. She is a holistic integration coach, helping you to self-heal and transform your life after narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. Meredith teaches the mindsets and tactical skills to help with recovery. She works with a mind-body-spirit approach to wellness that is a valuable complement to traditional psychotherapy. Meredith recommends that you also seek out a licensed therapist who has experience with narcissistic abuse and relational trauma in order to help you with the complex-PTSD symptoms. Thank you for taking responsibility for yourself!
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[@InnerIntegration]

I no longer offer one-on-one coaching sessions so I've partnered with BetterHelp, an affordable online therapy portal where you can get matched with a licensed counselor who specializes in abuse and trauma. *Get 10% off your first month with this link: betterhelp.com/innerintegration

[@anaisjanuary1]

Hello! Do you still offer programs to create coaches? Your work did so much good in my life and I would love to carry on in the country I am in and help other people that might be in need for this kind of help but don't understand or speak English. Big hugs

[@Kevin.Anthony3]

Id love to sign up to this. I badly need a safe environment for this. My entire community is compromised. Thank you for this video. Much appreciated 🙏🏿

[@Kevin.Anthony3]

@@anaisjanuary1 that's awesome that you want to help people with this. I hope it works out for you. 🙏🏿

[@AlexAnastaso]

Question why we dont divide fear by anxiety, the reason why I am saying that is because of this : Let me explain(something MAYBE only personal algorithmicly): Real Fear says: 'Something doesnt go well there!Therefore avoid this hard task and catch the opprtunities' Real anxiety says : " You know what you need to do, there is no reason for fear, just remember the existing patterns and everything will go well' People when they give exams sometimes what stops them to write well is anxiety, they believe that they need to enable automatizations to solve the problem instead of fear!! Exams ending and after that fear talks : 'Are u an idiot there was an opportunity there and there and you could avoid this bullshit there, why u did that?' Remember abusive authorities they talk to much against fear, but less against anxiety, because by instinct they know that anxiety is awakening of existing automatizations, while feaar can find the threats and denying their authority. Also remember the societel experiments of Nazis, people obeyed rules, therefore they acted based on anxiety, they didn't act based on fear!!! Ofc I am not saying fear doesn't exists on problematic situations, what I am saying is that people sometimes overvalue anxiety element as care for others, while sometimes fear helps better to recognize threats!! The panic attacks are results of anxiety (real fear sometimes says run now is the opportunity or hit now is the opportunity or take to have for another day and your family) How many politicians talked about the liberation of our fears and then they destroy you!!! (Sry for my English)

[@AlexAnastaso]

I am advocating for 'logical fear' to fight them , 'well posed problems'. Ι dont know if maths can help to recognize a well posed problem with small transformations 1. Solution exists (when they are saying to you, you cant do something different, you pose the different road that solves the problem ) 2. The solution is unique (you point out all the threats that their narcissistic conclusions have) 3. The solution's behavior changes continuously with the initial conditions (you present how small changes leading to different outcomes from what people want, for example sometimes some narcissistic solutions cant avoid situations like conflicts, our road to 'evil' is always with small steps, lets give the recipes that narcissists using)

[@anneneem]

Sometimes they will isolate you through triangulation. If that's the word for it. They become friends with your "friends" through social media and make those relationships toxic by making you look bad to those people.

[@InnerIntegration]

Excellent point!

[@dinabishop9513]

Yes

[@tarnmclennan3805]

This is so true. The narc became friends with my friends. The're no longer my friends anymore. I feel so lonely, isolated and lost.

[@anaisjanuary1]

@@tarnmclennan3805 make new friends. It happened to me too. He took all my friends away from me but at the end of the day you should thank him. Those people were never really your friends if they turned their back on you so easily

[@thirstonhowellthebird]

My ns did this to me!! She took the trash out for me since they believed her even after knowing she was an abuser all our lives growing up.

[@shack109]

Anything isolated is easier to control, it always boils down to control with Narcs, manipulators and control freaks. Very informative video Meredith!

[@InnerIntegration]

That’s really it, the control!

[@silveradotow957]

@@InnerIntegration my equation mill is power + controls=dictator shame

[@mariannepoulos391]

You helped me leave!!!!!!!!!!! Everything she says is spot on!!!! I left w 2 bags..that's it. No regrets.

[@shack109]

@@mariannepoulos391 Good for You!!!

[@wakinpossum4331]

Here's a cookie, now I have a right to abuse you. Kind "acts" ( it is acting) doesn't mean it came from a kind heart. You have helped me so much, thank you!

[@kamilkarnale3585]

Narcissist love to gossip about other people but hate it when someone gossip about them!! Sick minds👍👍

[@greyrock4871]

Narcissist will manipulate and gaslight you to second guess your own reality and they need to isolate you enough to stop people interfering with their horrible sick mind games.

[@libertycan6959]

Well said.

[@andrewsonstony7710]

My narcissistic mother abuses me through manipulation, gaslighting, silent treatmemt, blame shifting, guilt tripping, threating through my life time. Now i am 26 yrs old man and understands her abuse. I started grey rock method with her and cant respond anything when she says.i bring back my lost happiness in my life somely

[@Peanuts76]

Honestly, this is so true, it gave so much cognitive dissonance it made me depressed, confusion, triangulation, isolation, it's all my story, I'm so confuse as a child

[@franklooking4light851]

I remember this sentence from another video here not long ago: "They teach you what to think, but not how to think." It would fit in here as well as it provides the ground for a monoculture of thinking. At societal level people who use only a single source of information (always the same official media like TV, news papers, magazines, etc.), are brainwashed until they no longer want to hear any other opinion from a different point of view. In this way, they isolate themselves further and can be manipulated more easily.

[@InnerIntegration]

Bingo! 🎯

[@estherdavis3075]

Inner Integration Meredith please do more on narcissistic mother and sister and battle for family wealth

[@sheilajac]

facebook has been using this and people's tendencies to group with like minds while reying on FB for their "news", assisted by it's "top stories" default news feed option to cause chaos....so I am spreading the truth around like butter. I want them to change the default to "most recent" - that's the most logical and if they won't, I think it proves they are up to no good.

[@silveradotow957]

I see ,udders Mack a path weigh,Anna u scrap dare scrap path,bond is broke ,even if perceived, thought of outside communication,thus slavery starts two unravel

[@silveradotow957]

Tru da taught, thought of outsign,communication

[@lindarooker2384]

My ex mother in law tried telling me the phone is the devil. I said no your son is

[@maryamta6200]

Linda Rooker u know what’s funny sad and ironic at the same time? My ex narcs mom is the one who warned me about his narcissism 7 months in and she told me be careful read about narcissistic personality you’ll learn alot and you’ll be able to understand little that i knew she was so so right I can’t believe this hos own mother told me he was bad and toxic and all the pain i went through she knew from the beginning once i agreed to a hoover and she came and told me if you respected yourself you wouldn’t be with a guy like him and goshhh that hit me

[@lindarooker2384]

Maryam Ta exactly. Since November 29th of last yr ive studied and thought about everything and piecing it all together. Funny I feel his parents is actually in on it with him. He keeps telling me dates that he will let me see the kids ... form of pinpointing my location and so forth. That’s one reason I never wanted him having custody of my kids. He’s pure evil! He’s a womanizer and omg so much more.

[@cdorothy444]

@@maryamta6200 Wow that mom is selfless. Believe me, a lot of moms are enablers or are narc themselves

[@Mike-xt2lh]

I'm in total isolation right now all thanks to dealing with these toxic narcissistic people I've also been falsely accused of things I never did , been blackmailed as well I'm definitely going through Stockholm syndrome right now . Meridith videos be speaking so much truth about these toxic abusive narcissist & sociopaths .

[@Mike-xt2lh]

@@SlavicGirl. Hi

[@colettespencer3357]

Sorry Mike. It's awful. Melanie tonia Evan's and associate direct has good videos. You can do this. It's a surreal state of mind breaking away from them. It's like being in charles Manson's camp and escaping. You aren't alone...there are tons of us who made it out and are thriving! Hugs and prayers your way!

[@Mike-xt2lh]

@@colettespencer3357 Thanks I appreciate your reply just feel like I'm alone in this battle but it's great to see I'm not these KZbin channel forums help alot .

[@colettespencer3357]

@@Mike-xt2lh you aren't alone. I speak up about my experience and I have met so many people who say.. .wow...me too....so sad....there are many survivors.

[@marynorth235]

Right from the start, my mother isolated me. She would set up situations in which being around others would shame me. Then she made me believe she was isolating me because that's what I wanted.

[@InnerIntegration]

Great insight! Thank you for sharing that.

[@victoriarockafellow5194]

Makes me so sad to know people actually go through this on a daily basis and that i'm not alone. =[

[@meirastraley4283]

Ive been out of my relationships (my mother and my ex husband) for 2 years now and im still learning things that happened to me that I wasnt even aware of. While I know I delt with the covert type its still strange to think that I was captive for so long. Thank you for making these videos

[@silveradotow957]

Ohh straley,tis a strange, stingin,stankin, strong,stupor, snaking long,seams two behold of street songs

[@ericagilvin1859]

It's been five years for me. I spent forty years combined between a narcissistic mother and a narcissistic ex. I'm glad you are learning about this, and taking back your life is a long and worthy journey. The best and hardest steps I took was to get away from these manipulative people. I hope you are doing well.

[@silveradotow957]

@@ericagilvin1859 two bat, fer me fity tree,sin birt

[@Ksyed7124]

Me too realizing it after years how badly I was played abused and hurted..

[@ladennayoung2939]

You are intelligent. Thank you for sharing. I appreciate you for saying that victims are not stupid.

[@franciscoramirezespanagarc7974]

I figured out my narcissistic mother and she is trying to keep me isolated so that nobody listens to my “nonsense”

[@InnerIntegration]

Exactly.

[@julienewkirk2194]

My mom is doing the same to me! I haven’t seen my sisters or grandma for almost 2 years. My mom has completely isolated me from them, so that I won’t tell them anything different from what my mom has lead them to believe. She sends cards to my kids on their birthdays and writes how much she “misses” them. It’s like she’s trying to get to me through them. I feel like she’s blaming me for her missing them through sending those cards. It’s not the truth at all! She’s the one that has been horrible to me and I told her that if she didn’t stop that I was going no contact. She turned it around & said she was going no contact with me. It’s so crazy!!

[@franciscoramirezespanagarc7974]

Julie Newkirk thank you for sharing. Feel free to contact me when you need to talk.

[@Corinna_Schuett_GER]

@@julienewkirk2194 dear friend, it's highly probable that your own children will eventually turn against you because they wouldn't understand why you're NC with her. My grown up son did this after we've tried to protect him from his narc grandma. Now he's living with her.

[@artsydoll888]

Francisco Ramirez España Garcia My mom did the same for YEARS

[@joshforest4051]

I'm homeless right now living in a shelter and although its a nuthouse my house and dealing with my family as and extended family is actually WORSE than being homeless. I am struggling with severe ptsd after over 20 years of all kinds of abuse, but I'm free for now. No more insults, no more complaining, no more disapporoving noises in an attempt to make me feel bad about myself, no gaslighting, my things don't mysteriously go missing when I need them anymore, nothing!!

[@jcherry664]

You can get free therapy service from places, some universities have them. You need help with your PTSD, it's the only way to get past this trauma. Best wishes for a happier tomorrow. 🤗

[@joshforest4051]

@@jcherry664 currently looking for therapy, but my main goal is to just keep saving up money and moving out.

[@jcherry664]

@@joshforest4051 yes, I understand. The sooner the better.

[@katehampstead6024]

Cheering you on, Josh Forest! Freedom is worth it.

[@joshforest4051]

@@katehampstead6024 thank you!! Its been so hard. I'll never forgive them for what they have done to me though. They took my childhood from me, my happiness, my hobbies, my health, EVERYTHING!!!! I'm sorry I'm just so pissed off!! I have always done my best to get my family to love me, but now I see that they never did.

[@freerobuxcheckmychannel2521]

How do I begin to forgive myself for allowing this abuse to continue for 25 years?

[@goldieh7121]

I get you, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 25 years also Speaking for myself, I am realizing that I didn’t feel I deserved better,. I also was taught that I wasn’t worthy unless I had someone else to live through. I needed to learn that I am worthy as a separate person, even if I am imperfect, make mistakes and make wrong decisions. I had to see that there is nothing wrong with me, I am only human, then it was easier to begin to forgive myself.

[@Corinna_Schuett_GER]

Michelle, this is what ONLY Jesus Christ can heal and forgive as you're a sinner yourself. But with Him, all things are possible. Blessings your way! 🙏

[@sarahsworldjoseph8861]

It was not your fault. Happy healing to you. I wasted 5 years almost 6 until i pulled the plug and then i found NPD videos and i sort of realised but then i saw something else about feminine energy and to be soft and lean back and let the man lead. F that! He was leading me to hell! 😅

[@kmathis2352]

I experienced this even with an in law. I notice early on that when people don’t comply with how she expects them to treat her, she will confront them right away and try to ‘fix’ them. But she expects complete privacy, and if she found out that i spoke about the weird confrontation with other people -and initially I had to speak to others to confirm I wasn’t the crazy one- then I was labeled a gossip for taking about her behind her back and not speaking openly to her. Yet it’s not like I didn’t speak openly to her, it just wasn’t ever constructive. Setting boundaries or speaking my truth never got anywhere. Because I tend to respect other people’s view of reality over my own, it took me awhile before I realized that part of the reason why she isolated people when she tried to correct them is because it’s easier for her to maintain her false reality. It’s easier to gaslight one person at a time. When I’ve visited mutual friends, she’s acted very threatened by my relationship with them. And I think a big part of that is because she knows we share a reality, and that it’s a threat when more than one person shares a reality that contradicts her own false reality.

[@AlwaysStampinVideos]

OMGOSH YES!!! Those last two points at the end of the video- right?! I had finally gotten to a point where when i shared my abuse story with friends, i had to realize the reason they seemed dismissive of my pain was they either couldn’t relate because they had never experienced anything like this OR their true self was being revealed to me and they never really gave a rat’s butt about me to begin with since they themselves do to others the very thing i was sharing with them about my narc doing to me! SUCH an eye opener for me!

[@juliamarie8551]

Some government leaders do this with their followers. Us against them.

[@sheilajac]

I am at #2, for 5 years now. and thanks for the trauma bond as a child thing causing you to look for trauma bonds with others. that makes sense.

[@marymcdonagh7697]

Meredith - Thank you for doing what you do. I've been watching your videos for a while now and you always summarize the behavior succinctly. I had a narc ex that isolated me physically and emotionally. It helps to understand how this happens so I can ensure it never happens again.

[@ardent9422]

I know really well about the isolation, one narcissist I dealt with on a project, told me that I was not allowed to talk to the 30 other people we were working with on the project and that I could only deal with him one on one, I was the one running the project but he wanted to feel like he was in charge even though he didn’t have the knowledge or experience to lead. I stood up to this, I fought back and this triggered a smear campaign. One of the things I learned from this is that narcissists often make a lot of terrible mistakes in writing, as in they write down their horrible abuse in texts and emails and you can keep that as evidence forever. Having the abuse in writing, I shared it with the 30 other people, which caused more smearing, but most of those people saw the truth. Everything still fell apart because it was built around the narcissist but the Narc left empty handed, I was harassed by him for about about 2 years after. I wasn’t able to fully recover my career to the level that it was, but hopefully one day I can surpass where I was.

[@pointsbeingmade7996]

Stay strong I Went through the same.

[@tulip5210]

I had this weird situation were I appeared to be isolating my friend bc she didn’t bother to read my other message which explained stuff. She thought that I wanted the other girl not to be part of it, I just didn’t feel comfortable giving my name to someone I didnt want to give it to and that made me uncomfortable, which I elaborated in my message, that I still wanted them to work together but just that I wasn’t comfortable with them using my works name. She already believes that I intended to rip them apart so everything I wrote she refused to interpret it as anything but that. I had no idea why she was reacting why she was reacting for two months, because she never confronted me about the issue that led to her and that friend to have a fight! (I thought she was going to hurt herself. And it’s true I had issues with her friend had no respect for her so I allowed myself to be sassy (she came to me and confronted me about something, when before I had her blocked but I happened to have unblocked her bc I felt harrassed by her before, but I didn’t say that with that intention and I know that bc I didn’t allow myself to say anything that I thought would do that.)

[@PlumPerfect]

My narc took away my cell phone, locked me in a room for two days whipping me with a belt, showing me a phone book and a roll of duct tape...saying he was going to throw me in the back of a Uhaul and I’d never see my friends and family again. I was 7.5 months pregnant. I escaped half naked and ran to a near by house...delivering my 1 lb baby soon after. (He lived. He’s 20 now.) He came to the hospital as a proud papa and I was dumb- as in I couldn’t speak. He spoke for me and then took me back home. This went on for 13 years. Two more children and miscarriages. I had to leave or kill myself. I finally broke free. Realized my parents were keeping me in the trauma bond and so had to cut contact off with them too.

[@alpana1950]

Such a horrific experience ! Be blessed in your free life out of hell ,but be careful about kids as sometimes it is seen ,kids are highly empathetic towards the narc parent(because they are finest manipulators).

[@lilkr8844]

Wow so sorry you had to go through that wish you well💖

[@Reflexwoman]

Hugs to you sweet sister. You are amazing and so very strong.

[@kc3810]

Wow. You are one strong woman. A soldier, prisoner and survivor. And a mom. I have great respect for you. I wish you the best.

[@silveradotow957]

Ohh bitter, sweat ,poisoning,tea times

[@marthadwyer2856]

I left and felt like a heavy log was lifted off my shoulders. It was wonderful ❤️✝️. You’re teaching is fantastic and I’ve listened to many. Thank you 😊

[@alwaysmichellemaree2155]

Its all true. 27 years of a slow burn and I've heard and lived through all of these tactics. Even though I know the game I do realize I suffer from this syndrome. Even when your working on reversing or laying down boundaries it will get worse. Your brain at times feels like you cannot function or distinguish between the evil nonsense and true reality. The thought of totally pulling out after this many years will cause you to become physically sick (worse than you already are) and you will feel paralyzed as though you cannot move mentally and physically. You feel like an utter failure and all you have ever done is try to love and please that person!

[@sage9836]

I was once told not to smile and that I was too "gregarious." And to act "like a lady." I caught on that this was isolation.

[@وردهحلوه-ق2ب]

As always, another great video, keep up the good work 👍

[@divinelight4475]

Eek I feel I have to say this as it seems like this happening with Harry & Meghan? 😞

[@dawntodusk7660]

Exactly!

[@InnerIntegration]

There are multiple levels of narcissistic abuse there, starting with the narcissistic family cult.

[@enorytl]

It's all about control

[@aliceroberts1980]

I think the trauma is worst because their in a roll of parents of husband or wife someone that’s supposed to love you . They say they love you and their abusing you so it worse then a stranger. The malicious treatment over years your trust was abused too.

[@InnerIntegration]

I agree it’s a much worse mindfuck when it’s someone who says they love you.

[@aliceroberts1980]

Inner Integration Yes

[@makisnerantzis8427]

She isolated me and decepted me by compelling me to move away from home city 400km.Shw stole everything from me car,furniture,money...i haven't seen my child since May 2018.

[@michellet7891]

Very powerful video. Thank you so much! You are providing life saving support!

[@pavanatanaya]

"It's not that, it's this" Every single time I tried to offer any idea into conversation, she would say those words. Then she would tell me what to think. At the end, I didn't know who I was. She got off on watching me struggle. Meanwhile she was already sexually involved. I was chronically corrected, then mocked and humiliated. It's been a very slow road back to trust.

[@alpana1950]

Every narcissist at the time of conversation corrects the sane one - every time we are wrong.

[@pavanatanaya]

Alpana Ghosh I walk away from people who instantly contradict. I'm not always right of course, but how can I always be wrong?

[@alpana1950]

@@pavanatanaya Exactly

[@kc3810]

Bingo. " chronically corrected, mocked and humiliated" that's what I get everyday, angry style, or condescending style if he's in a good mood. You should see my face when someone in the grocery store tells me what a nice guy my husband is.

[@cindycarnegie1997]

Ps speaking about shame requires bravery as it makes friends uncomfortable or puts them in judgement or fear - few friends can support conversations about family trauma

[@beverleywilliams1212]

I did try to speak up but, because of his perceived acts of kindness no one believed me. He gave my closest friend the impression that he truly loves me. Now everyone thinks that I'm crazy. It's a total mess!

[@InnerIntegration]

This is why covert types are so dangerous.

[@tazaratsarina9445]

Yes, it's really important not to blame yourself for relationships with narcs. Meredith, thanks for help 🌹

[@ramblingruthie7602]

What about when they dont like any of your friends but you must loves their friends that are addicts and alcoholics.

[@shawnroelke7909]

Thank you for being you. I am so sorry for what you went through in your life. But to take that trauma and turn it into helping others is a blessing so many. I would give my right arm to sit down and talk to you "it's just a saying" but you have to put me on the right track. I spent 18yr with in Borderline Personality Disorder with narcissistic tendencies lady. Then I walk away and right into a 5yr relationship with malignant narcissist. I have complex PTSD situational depression and I have had to make myself homeless to save myself and it's been hard but to break away from the Stockholm syndrome was even harder. I need to look at myself to understand why I attract these people and I have found that I am empathic which is the magnet for all this craziness. You help me a lot and I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart please keep up the good work you do.

[@FreeVoni]

I just get so many signs of why I am blessed to be out of that situation. Thank you

[@jameslacroix1028]

My ex kept me away from whoever she was around I might've met a few of her friends like 4 or 5 times In the entire two years I was with her and when I would go out with my friends she wouldn't leave me alone and tried to make me have a bad time and told me I was cheating and lying .and trying to shame me when I told my friends what was going on .and my friends told her off .and the gaslighting started being a everyday thing and word salad and conversation from hell and silent treatments .and verbal abuse besides the fact my ex was smearing me from the beginning. Trigulation against all these people it was like being on a merry go round with the devil itself.i went no contact with her a few years ago when I had nothing else inside of me .besudes the fact I felt crazy with all the gaslighting in my head

[@colettespencer3357]

Hey james. I was with mine for 3 years. Found out when it was over that I was lied to from day 1. What a total joke. He got married right away. There are times I want to tell her because he kept me hidden but I look at it as good riddance.

[@jameslacroix1028]

@@colettespencer3357 I was lied from day one about everything and no one really new about me and once she hooked me in the beginning that was when she startes devaluing me and smearing me .

[@jameslacroix1028]

Spencer look at it as good riddance becuase they all play victim card and all their other ex are crazy etc .the experience gave me complex post traumatic stress disorder and i found out i was in orgin of abuse for years .i had to cut off a lot of people and people can get really mean and say abusive things why you are healing if you never new they where toxic or other narcissistic people and I had one ex friend who was undercover codependent enabler flying monkey

[@colettespencer3357]

@@jameslacroix1028 yep. Me too....they pull you in with attention, sex, compliments...total bullshit...just to make you their slave. Its total manipulation. I met mine at work and he turned almost my co workers against me...I had no idea at the time...he is now a psychiatric nurse practitioner with his own practice in co with the gal he lived a double life with. He doesnt care about people at all. Will probably just medicate people and do more damage

[@jameslacroix1028]

@@colettespencer3357 you will be okay just keep on healing and dont listen to anyone that makes you feel like you have to defend yourself for what you went thru and If you hear abusive words they could be coming from toxic people or other abusers .I look at it like this I was the scapegoat in my family truth teller and eventually years ago .I got the brunt of the abuse .if som ie going to believe a liar or abuser over me they ain't my tribe or family or friend

[@libertycan6959]

Great info. When you learn how they work and understand narcissism after awakening from this abuse it is easy for them. Hard to imagine doing this to another human. It's hard to heal from it when you feel and experience the injustices and trauma. I believe it is evil. Those who did it to me planned it and it was done over time strategically..years and years. They take liberties and it seems like they are not connected to humanity so they want you disconnected as well. It's very hard to understand especially when they gang up as a narcissist group/family with their web and tactics. One once said to me laughing "slow and steady gets the prize"...classic passive aggressive games. It's truly sadistic as to what level they can go. Truly hard to comprehend someone especially family or relative or intimate relationship doing these things. Might I add this new world of technology is a extension of their tool box of sadistic weapons. There is no limit with them.

[@gisellegarcia5014]

this is another type of evil.. i couldn’t understand why my mom would fight me so hard before i would go out with my friends and i would end up staying home because i was so drained. now i have no friends.

[@dottyp137]

WoW! Thank you Meredith..... you are my angel today. The things you have just said have been on my mind for days. I have your book.... I am yet to read it.... poor concentration 🤕🙃. Thank you so much for this today 💕. 💐 🌹

[@wutz4tea]

I was always a more sociable person earlier in life, but I gradually became more isolated during my long marriage. I started thinking I was doing this thing to myself (which basically I was with help from the narc). The narc had lost nearly all of his friends the last few years. I'm out of the marriage now, but I worry that I'm still doing this and having it reinforced by being ignored by most of my old friends which is keeping me in it. I am trying to cultivate new friendships, but still get ignored which makes me stop trying and just accept the continuing isolation. I know this all sounds weird. I want friends, but if they don't want me back, after a while I just give up and stay alone. I've really been conditioned to accept this, but trying to change it.

[@Corinna_Schuett_GER]

People who don't "want you back" are not to be called friends anyway. You will have to find new ones.

[@magdalenasvensson909]

Poor Prince Harry is being moved to Canada..isolated on Vancouver Island..

[@mollyg4980]

Magdalena Svensson what does that have to do with anything? Maybe he hates that lifestyle, he didn’t ask to be a prince that will never be king.

[@rickaster]

I covered up the dysfunction and danger because of the cognitive dissonance after letting things get so bad for so long. When I started talking it was just a little bit, just a few hints at what was wrong. But even that made a difference. If the best you can do is dial back from “Everything’s great!” to “Doing well enough,” that’s a place to start.

[@lafonizodunlap4299]

Isolation! My wife wanted me to remove my son and disable sister from my housing lease upon moving to Georgia. She wanted me there in her home State alone without any support but her and her family and friends whom she has been triangulating with about me! The abuse here in Chicago with my wife was brutal and terrifying! Only when we moved to the Southside from the North side did the violence became severe and the berating and disrespect became intense! Isolation from my friends from the North side. And she was to do it further once I moved to Georgia. I didn't feel safe around them especially after she said that I was a pedophile and molester like her uncle who molested her at 15. She has compared Me to him many times since 2014 as she was making up her narative to abandon me.

[@Tabarezc]

Isolate? Then is it that's why I can't let go even though I've been discarded

[@TheVermifuge]

Carlos Perez Trauma bonding. I hear ya bro. She still haunts my mind...every day, and every night. Wish it would stop. I went no contact, and she doesn’t hoover, but the damage is done and PTSD has set it a bit.

[@Tabarezc]

@@TheVermifuge she don't Hoover me either but I hear rumors that she blames me for everything

[@Tabarezc]

@@TheVermifuge I got divorce on January 10 and till this day no contact

[@jcherry664]

@@Tabarezc they blame you for everything during, and after the relationship is over.

[@Tabarezc]

@@jcherry664 well she's crying wolf that I walked out on her and her kids even though she divorce me and kicked me out I begged I pleaded and cried to go back to my step kids when they were my step kids now it just hurts bad

[@Andromeda_M31]

I'm getting so tired of the victim blaming. With this whole "you choose him" attitude. I see this on basically every male YT dating coach who is giving women advice trying to give women a peek into a man's mind. I watched a few and they kept showing up on my feed. I made some comments only to get told off by the coach in the comments section. I blocked all of those channels from showing up in my feed. Don't watch those, they just gaslight women. Or maybe watch them to learn something but don't believe these men, they'll only keep you hanging onto toxic relationships and eventually you will end up with trauma. The thing is you care and a lot of men don't because they have society constantly blaming the victim. Switch the genders if you want.

[@ddixonmorris]

Andromeda RC Blakes has some excellent videos on narcissism. You are just watching the wrong men.

[@Andromeda_M31]

@@ddixonmorris I'm not actively watching any, I guess you didn't get what I was saying. I'll stick with Meredith and others like her, there are a lot out there who are not constantly yammering about game.

[@ddixonmorris]

Andromeda RC Blakes is a Bishop and he discusses narcissism from the spiritual aspect. He has several books Queenology and The Father Daughter Talk. Both are best sellers. He absolutely is not preachy, as a matter of fact, he has talked on how religion has misinformed so many.

[@Andromeda_M31]

@@ddixonmorris ok that sounds a bit different than what I've seen as dating coaches. I was mostly referring to men telling woman how to game men, but they they have some stupid conclusion that it's the woman's fault. Your guy doesn't sound like they're in the same category. We all take responsibility for ourselves but when it's just constant victim blaming that's really getting on my nerves. I suppose they just want views but i find them sleazy.

[@Andromeda_M31]

@Ange Lom I've seen those too. I realized none of them have any good advice. There are a few psychologist dating coaches who get into attachment theories and they're the only ones who are not spewing absolute garbage. I found a common theme with the bad ones, they all make excuses for the toxic partner and the one who isn't is flawed. I found this with "self-help" too they preload an insecurity and low-and-behold they have the solution. Same game.

[@venacollier1430]

We are only as sick as the company we keep!

[@lelediamondASMR]

Spot on they make you feel guilty for even having conversations or seeing your family.

[@katiswan3160]

Thank you Melanie for creating this wonderful video ❤️ and giving me some tools to use. Thank you for teaching me more about narracisstic.

[@kevinjohnson7418]

Great video , right on the money . You also don't want to go to narcissist therapists. Careful ! This can be very confusing and traumatic.

[@remediosnaturales8107]

Yeah !!! Some Psychologists Therapists do not understand from victims side and they end up re-victimizing the víctim....... or the Therapist is a narcissist her or himself........Be careful !!!

[@goldieh7121]

So validating, thank you Meredith 💕. These tactics were used by my ex. They were and still are used by my parents. Even though I know they haven’t really ever kept me safe, I am still having a hard time believing I could leave the toxic emotional bond. I fear that if I even let go emotionally, all the stuff they said could go wrong, will go wrong, then I would have no one to help me and I’ll die alone. That’s a hard message to subconsciously let go of. Dido’s song Don’t Leave Home and Cat Steven’s song Wild World are good examples fo how they isolate and create fear in us. My mom trauma bonded me by 1. Making me feel like I’m being disloyal to her if I become too attached to anyone other than her. 2. Offering their help, saving me from myself, praising me as long as I am behaving. 3. Silent treatment and threatening to take away any love and support, even as a little child, if I misbehaved or even didn’t show the right amount of appreciation. Telling me how dangerous the outside world is (but at the same time I need a man to take care of me, I shouldn’t be to picky, to protect me from the outside world). 4. I was their child, I needed them to survive, I couldn’t leave.

[@InnerIntegration]

Those 4 points you made are excellent insights! I would like to share those at some point with people. Can I say Goldie on KZbin commented... then mention your 4 points? They are spot on.

[@goldieh7121]

@@InnerIntegration Thanks Meredith! I have been wrestling with it all for a long time, so many of your videos have helped me make sense of so much that I went through. You can use my name (specially since it isn't my real one). I have shared with a close friend and brother. I trust them, they listen. But because the abuse was so covert, and because my parents are so "nice" and don't have any physical and financial control over me now, they think I should be able to easily emotionally detach by not thinking about it anymore. They don't understand how deep it goes into my subconscious, and that the more I understand how it happened, the easier it is to start to heal.

[@goldieh7121]

@@InnerIntegration Just one other point. Along with learning about covert narcissists, I have learned more about my parents through how they, especially my mom, talks about others. People who constantly praise them are so wonderful, good people. Those that don't seem to appreciate them enough are toxic. My mom is always feeling sorry for people with difficult or needy kids. I realized that if I misbehaved I was labeled as toxic and she won't tolerate toxic people, so I was the good girl on the outside and kept my toxicity on the inside. I have always been afraid people will see through my good girl facade and that I am really the toxic person I'm hiding. But, now I'm also realizing the "toxicity" is actually just being human.

[@ghostferatu6241]

Isolating your partner isn't abusive it's necessary to get the hell away from this sick society we live in.

[@kjthomas4553]

Agree

[@emmarae4322]

WTF?

[@innatured]

Excellent video, Meredith. Your communication of the subject is so crystal clear.

[@anaeagleeyes60feliz5]

Thx you. I send you a big hug,

[@catzska]

I was wondering why I second guess myself regarding people's intent. Example my neighbor asked me to watch her kids. I knew she paid my other neighbor for watching her kids. Yet when I did she said after she got home. I don't want to pay to have my kids watched while I go play baseball and go out for drinks. I walked out feeling used. She texted me this week asking for me to watch her kids again. I got so stressed out I did not respond. Yet I feel like a bad person.

[@margaretkennedy5308]

Thank you thank you thanks this is the best explanation of what happened to me I still always ask myself why I stayed I had money to leave but yet stayed in hell !!! You are making such a big difference love ya 💓🙏💓

[@michael5366]

Funny thing this is what both my last wives did, now i am happily single, so it wasn't me, funny thing tho the judge and police both believed their teary eyed statements, which they both lied through their teeth, did i get questioned, nope just detained, then the cost of lawyers, then oh shit the women lied, no charges - sir your free to go- it wasn't free.

[@kc3810]

Very helpful! I'm now breaking up my senior mother, the victim, and her caregiver. The name 'Stockholm syndrome ' came to my mind after listening to my mother describe the relationship. I quickly engaged some neighbors, my brother, hired a new caregiver. My mother is mad at me and says I ruined her life, and she secretly contacts her old caregiver. It's crazy. I'll look into CPSD recovery for her. Thank you, Meredith, for your informative videos. Maybe do one specific to seniors and their caregivers. I regret not screening the caregiver for narcissist traits. The new caregiver is wonderful by the way.

[@mojtabaeisakhani6752]

Thank you so much. It was a meticulous and completely scientific approach to the psychopathology of victims isolation in advanced narcissistic relationship . Having insight to this intricate enigma is very important .

[@huko4266]

Prince Harry: are you paying attention?

[@mollyg4980]

Huko426 why??? It’s pretty obvious to me that Meghan was in an abusive relationship before him.

[@joywebster2678]

She is evil

[@mollyg4980]

my desire how so?

[@joywebster2678]

@@mollyg4980 the way that evil is

[@annekerotterdam7499]

Huko426: BINGO!!!

[@hmmhmmhmm3]

I love your videos! I separated from my covert narc ex almost 9 years ago after being together for 13 years (married for 8) and divorced in 2017. I still feel a conflicted sense of helplessness about my life. As if I intellectually know that I can and will do what I set my mind to but I'm still putting the pieces of our relationship together so I can put the pain of it in the past, write about it in my book, and move forward. For the past four months I have been in therapy with a therapist who specializes in narcissism. Would you speak about picking up the pieces for people who have left covert narc relationships but still feel stuck? Thank you so much.

[@tangelacarter6620]

Thank you. I don't have the strength to say much else. I just want you to know that I have clung to every word. If I had money, I would donate to your channel. More and more people will need you.

[@shannonw.6276]

I NEED HELP AND CAN'T GET IT

[@shannonw.6276]

I've sought help everywhere i can think of. My docctors/ churches/ online/ even a real estate person/ I mean everyone I can think of/ every time I've had to go to the ER/ psychiatrist....no one will help me. I have no one. My pride...is not the issue. I'M FALLING THROUGHT THE CRACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!! i'M OUT OF MONEY.

[@danielleclick4298]

In his name I pray that he will comfort you in your time of need and he will provide for your monetary needs! God loves you and wants you to live in joy! I pray that someone will show up in your life ...who is led by the holy spirit to help you in your time of need! I pray that god opens your heart, mind, eyes and ears so you can experience his holy grace! In Jesus's name I pray Amen❣🙏

[@joywebster2678]

Sounds like the way people react to those with borderline personality disorder.

[@shaveerlove3781]

Meredith would you say the Types of Narcissists that are capable of manipulating like this are the Sociopath , the Covert Narcissist and the Psychopath ????

[@mariascoma7718]

While I was listening to the information, I recalled feeling like I had to stay in an abusive relationship. Every anniversary that I have now is one celebrating no contact with my narc. I’m now 4 years no contact and 7 years of separation. I now stay vigilant to my perception and reality. There’s a certain amount of glory the narc is seeking. I adored him and his acts of kindness were my temporary fulfillment that put love back into the chalice. What finally ended the cycle was I stopped the glorification of him and it was finally over when he didn’t receive my supply. Recently I wondered how I could have been different that fateful night, and I would have succumbed one more time and never escaped. He got to punish me by leaving and I super cried and my altered reality took over my personality. Parting badly. Not a transition worthy of self gratitude but I’m 7 years in grownup reality with tweaks of super cry into billowing laughs. I’m grateful for all the lessons, Bob. I’m grateful I’m alive and I have risen from ash like a phenix and I can share my passion and not be afraid. I have perspective and I’m moving forward with the headlights on.

[@thandsch]

Thank you so much, for mentioning the limbic brain and the survival instinct, that leads people into abusive situations!

[@SilentFigure1]

Off topic: love the illusion created in hall behind you with dark and lite.

[@matilda4406]

Wow, it's about psychological isolation from outside perspectives.. So when one leaves and the reaction is really horribly bad... would that be proof that it indeed was an isolation game that they didn't want you to end?

[@bradmcewen]

A better understanding of why the Cluster B group is an association with a trait of the far end spectrum of malelovence always available for escalated use.

[@gymnast2890]

Thank you for making this video!!! I've been saying this & no one agrees with me online! This person was in the Military with 2 babies, is MALE, & 8 yrs later won't talk & is STILL trauma bonded. He's now married to a covert.

[@FB-lo2tc]

Thank you, you are always a inspiration to me! Kind regards Franziska from Switzerland

[@Reflexwoman]

I really appreciate how you break things down and explain them. You make it easier for me to understand all of this craziness. Thank you.

[@bummblelace8269]

I need advice!!!!!!! I can't figure out if my mom is a narcissist, or not. I grew up with very strict mother, like an an example I had to hold the stroller or cart even into my preteens. Anyway, one situation keeps coming across my mind I grew up with a large family and as a kid I feel so judged if I had to be in the mall or anywhere with my army of siblings and I see other teens laughing at me. My mom shamed me for feeling embarrassed and not wanting to hang around them family all the time. Anyway story time, I was 17 and my mom tells me that the kids are going to see a children movie and asked my me If I wanted to go. I said no but the whole day she kept trying not convince to go.I didn't want to first of all I didn't want to see the movie second I want to have a choice and last I didn't want my friends watching a kids movie who already thought I was weird. Anyway my mom started to take my choice away, she told me that I would get in trouble if I didn't go. I started crying feeling like she's never wanted me to be free and have a life besides the family. She told me I was trouble and left she was mad! That was first time in my teen years I disobeyed my mom. My mom isn't mean but I remember after watching tangled and realized that I could relate to repunzel I almost started screaming when mother gothel was dragging back into the tower for some reason I know how she felt. I was isolated all my life and I still don't know why. I know my mom is religious but it seemed they wanted me not to be my own person. I really would like clarity! And what should I do?

[@m.2768]

I lived since when I was child. I grew up in this way. ... RUTH IN HELL

[@freeindeed5393]

My wife does these kinds of things. I am just realizing that it is abuse. I have been in recovery from codependency. She has been acting out. I think she feels threatened by me making changes. I told her I won’t function in that cycle anymore. She flipped out. Her reasoning just didn’t make sense. I told her it isn’t acceptable behavior. 25 years married. Never realized how manipulative she is. People have tried to convince me. I think she is bpd. Ugh

[@2okaycola]

these structured videos help so much! i’ve never felt like this before & seeing how i’ve been isolated & totally shell-shocked into inaction w this learned helplessness bs

[@dannysze8183]

it is a pain in the ass to deal with a narcissist. that is why I have many different friends in different social group. one narc will screw up everyone.

[@gypsyqueen411]

Would you evaluate the recording between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp?

[@AngelaJonesPoetryStoriesArt]

Good information, thank you for making this video

[@opplusllc]

People don’t want to talk about it!

[@materialgirl338]

I longed for grand children and my sons wife has managed to move him to 7 states away. Now the children have no family connection anymore.

[@jcherry664]

Isolated places! Oh yes!

[@mukttamahajan524]

My mother was narcissistic so I got stuck with narcissistic husband still suffering It hurts really hurts it’s so painful u

[@lilac624]

I just had an argument with the narcissist.Narcissists should be isolated as they are harmful to someone's sanity.What about placing them all in an island? I can't stand the trauma...Hope to be away from my toxic mother... Narcissistic parents can take away your confidence, independence and creativity....

[@FabiKaSurf]

There are often harsh economic consequences too. There is joint liability in tenancy law. Marriage laws can be complicated and expensive and do not allow you to simply do what you want. There can also be parent-child alienation, threats, etc. So it is not just a lack of emotional strength to endure a separation situation, but also other difficulties.

[@Gigi-pd8vj]

Thank you and keep up the good work!

[@mistletoe-vq4nn]

100% accurate and exactly what happened to me! THANK YOU for sharing this! It's amazing how many girls all over the are experiencing the same thing. Also saw a video you posted regarding WhatsApp conversation with a typical narcissist. Exactly the same too! Don't let anyone tell you the knowledge you share are not beneficial :) A therapist even diagnosed me with PTSD even before i saw your that knowledgable video. So yes, you are SO right. :) Thank you for continuing to share about this topic, to help other people feeling stuck in these situations! #yougogirl

[@JohnLeaf]

we are strong we will overcome this even if they mess with the nation we are strong

[@lea-andromeda-sol2333]

Yesss, we are strong, I feel that, I know that.

[@thelastspartan4804]

... yeah, it is called MARRIAGE... in case ya didn't know... : )

[@rwdchannel2901]

My parents would isolate me by making the entire family give me the silent treatment. They did that to me multiple times until they broke me as a child. My older brother, who lived in the same room with me, wouldn't talk to me until my parents told him he could talk to me. I'm 4 years younger than my brother and I remember he was isolating me from being friends with my cousin who's the same age as me. Whenever my cousin came over to our house on Thanksgiving and Christmas, my brother would pretend to be friends with him so I couldn't have a friend. Now that we're all adults, my brother doesn't talk to my cousin. My cousin could have been a great life long friend for me.

[@josegonzales1470]

i was victimized by "gangstalking" ....i pray for them...

[@raleighsmalls4653]

Am jealous of her great house after going through the quagmire of hell situations ! How'd she do it ?

[@Contessa998]

Can you do a video on the subconscious mind, can you go a little more in depth please it’s very interesting thank you so much

[@pennykent5687]

Meredith, ... I cry when I tell you this.... because this is right in line with what you are saying, but on another area. It's about my dad. I saw so many things being done to him and others there.... I complained to all Government Agencies I could find. NO ONE DID ANYTHING!!!! Infact, it was then that the Director of Nurses came after my frail dad and I. They finally put 2 back to back No Tresspasses on me, taking me from my dad. They then really went after my poor helpless dad. They started drugging him, cutting off phone access to the outside world for him, denying him access to visitors, or anyone other than their staff. This broke my strong willed dad!!! This drove him to trying to kill himself by sticking forks or anything in his rooms wall outlets. .... Now, after my dad's death from this place.... I'm talking to people in the community.... and I'm finding out from more and more of the people in the community that this place has such a evil horrendous reputation!!!!!..... Yet if you go to their website at this nursing home you'll find the place looks like something out of House Beautiful, with Polk bands, and warm, cross wearing staff members!!!! Evil, deceitful, lying killers!!!! Here in BLOOMINGTON, MINNESOTA!!!!

[@willowclay3137]

First they nibble on your fingers, then your legs, arms, and soul!

[@robinalberti8829]

The perception has nothing to do with the actual fact that I have no money and no car!! I can't leave!!! And go where??? To the fucking street?????? Walk away to nothing because my abusers have destroyed my credibility...my ability to do anything but sit in a god damn bunker!??? The longer they make excuses the more angry I get!!! With good reason!! STOP COVERING FOR THEM!

[@patriciaclark1492]

OMG YES...MY OWN BROTHER IS SO BRAINWASHED AND PROBABLY A WOMAN HATER to a degree and uses his religion to discount whatever he wishes. Stockholm syndrome.....yep i said trauma bonding and he looked at me as if i were a child searching for an excuse. Oh....when i said cptsd he said IT ISNT THAT! So apparently he is a doctor and a prophet!!!! Begged him to talk to my son and oh no.....couldnt do that because he truly is cut from the same cloth as an abuser. Heart shaking. His fact remembering wife more than likely explains what she needs him to think. Same with my sons wife. Just heart breaking.