TikTok's Horrible Advice For Men

chadchad's video - • Women Don't Have Hobbies
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[@ranpo_edogawa]

"non conventional neckwear" *cuts to Jarvis wearing a rubiks cube*

[@xx_note.to.self_xx4504]

It took me so long to realise lmaoooo

[@hime6219]

Bruh how did I not notice that wtf

[@Tsukiru]

I just go to this when it happened and it still jumpscared me

[@xx_note.to.self_xx4504]

@@hime6219 im sincerely sorry i hurt your feelings by being blind buddy

[@mushroup]

i didn’t notice till halfway through the vid and i had to scroll back to make sure it wasn’t there the whole time

[@faesforest]

the way they brought up asexuality without insulting it but used it as an excuse to be misogynistic 😭😭

[@jerricho11]

I know, I'm ace so I was kinda conflicted. On the one hand surprisingly progressive, on the other, not so much.😂

[@madeniquevanwyk]

You win some you lose some I guess 😭

[@Greystorm1619]

Yeah it’s weird because you can be ace but also want people to appreciate the way you look, and you can also not be ace and still want to get swole as fuck because you want to. I say this as a gray- asexual woman who dreams of getting fit and swole as shit

[@imyourannoyinggeekyfangirl8844]

Hi Zuzu :)

[@helen.faunway]

There's something hilarious also about the (false) assumption that ace people are incapable of being shallow and wanting to look hot--because I'm ace and am also a bit shallow and want to look hot

[@pinpompompurin]

As a lesbian, I can confirm that I train solely for the purpose of looking attractive to men.

[@xrumich3896]

so then you do it for woman

[@whatsgood4320]

wait hold up

[@sagemybrain6740]

@@xrumich3896 Yes but actually no

[@Caeylo]

Definitely makes a lot of sense lol. I know it was a joke

[@Landofjello]

Obviously straight women what we are talking about here. Heterosexual dating still exists in 2022

[@SeafishNeko]

Saying that womens brain finishes developing 8 years earlier gives me extremely predatory vibes.. men always try to find ways to rationalize dating barely legal women

[@AdamOfIngolstadt]

People are always like "the 25 y/o guy wasn't even fully developed yet" but also call a 13 y/o a "young woman"

[@Rapture__1234]

I'm barelylegal :D

[@ICantSnipe88]

18 still legal tho *

[@selrox879]

@@cowCuddler incel

[@charliewright2667]

@@cowCuddler sorry you ain't getting any bud. Have you tried being a legitimately nice person or shaving your neckbeard for some tinder pics lol. Or ya girl just cheated on ya. That's rough but... yikers dawg

[@louise6268]

I like how these guys accept that asexuals don't work out to impress the other sex, but gay and lesbian people? WHO KNOWS why they work out

[@blazehawkins2759]

Presumably for the free donuts that Krispy Kreme gives to athletes, I'd assumw

[@faebunny8239]

@@blazehawkins2759 As a lesbian i can confirm that this is true, this is why we work out, not sure about gay people though but it's probably something similar

[@Munchitaa]

@@faebunny8239 Can confirm its the same for us gays

[@kyransawhill6650]

Instead of doing it for the male gaze and the female gaze, they're doing it for the female gays and the male gays.

[@bogwife7942]

I don't know about other lesbians but I personally work out so that I'll be strong enough to outrun the shadow people when the time comes

[@bellanoche4945]

As a married woman, I can personally tell you that not sharing your feelings with your partner will end your marriage. That guy is a child and has no idea what he is talking about.

[@Impala-ui8nl]

So true! I've been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years now and he's never cried/never told me "I feel..." or something like that. He's always very composed and never talks about emotions, and I mean I love him and so I don't wanna change him, but I'd still like it if he showed a bit more vulnerability sometimes. That would only make me fall in love with him more, nothing else.

[@bellanoche4945]

@@Impala-ui8nl I'm sorry, love. I hope he opens up to you

[@Impala-ui8nl]

@@bellanoche4945 Thank you so much! I'm currently working on building a better communication in our relationship, so hopefully it will come up :)

[@awm9532]

@@Impala-ui8nl you should work on this together, not just you

[@Impala-ui8nl]

@@awm9532 Nevermind, he broke up with me today But yes, in a good relationship, the effort should be on both sides. Guess I was willing to put in more effort than him

[@marimolen3122]

Yes, hide your feelings from your girlfriend. Hide your wallet from your girlfriend. Hide from your girlfriend. Remove all social meeting & claim a mountain cave. Spend your day catching fish & counting stars. Take on the aesthetic of the wild. Grow hair everywhere. Walk slowly and hide from hikers. Become sasquatch.

[@lostandfond2163]

Solid advice 😎

[@likeadino8580]

Yes

[@lovenkind8180]

Love that

[@shakinglikemilk6222]

Finally some good advice

[@hb6839]

I laughed so much

[@Indomitable_Alykat]

I so desperately want to start an "Alpha Female" podcast where we take whatever dumb shit these "aLpHa pOdCaSt" bros are saying and flip it around, switching the genders to watch guys freak tf out and cry foul XD Might even have a male guest or two just to tell them I can't take them seriously when they're dressed that way XD

[@duckasldfkjals]

Please do this!

[@saskialubeek2895]

please i would definitely listen to this omg that's a great idea

[@sunsatire]

OMG YES PLEASE.

[@sunsatire]

share the link here.

[@bullymagurie]

This sounds like the stupidest idea I have ever heard

[@AndromedaD]

"Women only work out for guy's attention" makes gyms incredibly dangerous for women and feminine people. I've been followed nearly every time I've gone to the gym, and no one stopped to ask if I was ace.

[@tn420animations9]

I don't go to the gym because I feel I'm not supposed to or else I could get called a creep by someone for no reason or people will stare at me and laugh at me so I work out in my room.

[@pootpootfart]

the amount of sexual harassment in gyms (i’m talking about feminine-presenting people specifically, but masculine people can and are harassed as well and i’m not trying to take that from them or anything) is insane. if you see anyone that seems uncomfortable by someone else’s behavior towards them in the gym or any setting; please make sure they’re okay and let them know you’ll look out for them if the person is making them nervous or scared! lots of creeps fuck around in the gym just to gawk at other people in there and no-one deserves to be objectified.

[@sylmaerie]

wait i’m sorry i may be misunderstanding what you mean but why would it matter if you’re ace or not? all women and fem aligned people will be uncomfortable with harassment regardless of sexuality plus men obviously do not care about our sexualities even if we explicitly say we aren’t attracted to men. so i guess i’m just confused about why being ace plays into it (this is a genuine question btw not meant to be rude)

[@techne360]

I've been followed at the gym, too. And I wasn't alone, I was there with my mom. Made damn sure I wouldn't ever go alone 😬

[@amyg8176]

@@tn420animations9 🙄 you won’t get called a creep if you don’t act like a creep. It’s super easy.

[@Rachely24]

I feel like the whole "women mature faster than men" thing has come about mostly as a way for men to excuse their shitty behavior well into adulthood, as well as an excuse for them to seem less creepy for lusting after younger women (even though sexist guys will simultaneously infantalize adult women)

[@covereye5731]

The first time I heard it was from teachers, as an explanation for why academically women are performing better then men in college. They were positive about it though.

[@Zizalaonfire]

I think the hormones in men kick in a bit later than in women. But im not sure. But yeah, 35 year old men who are trying to excuse their bad behaviour with this are just grose

[@Rachely24]

@@covereye5731 right, when in reality it's because women feel a lot more pressure to prove themselves, especially in male dominated fields. So they tend to put in more work.

[@legabausscarter8042]

No women usually start puberty before men do. It's a biological thing

[@legabausscarter8042]

@@Rachely24 women excel more in a classroom setting then men do. Change the setting and you'll see a change in results

[@averydeering3649]

ok but I’m honestly impressed that they even know what being asexual is

[@balthasardenner5216]

I mean that was a word before it became a tumblr identity.

[@averydeering3649]

@@balthasardenner5216 it’s not a tumblr identity, it’s a genuine sexual orientation just like any other

[@balthasardenner5216]

@@averydeering3649 As I said, it was a word BEFORE it became a tumblr identity.

[@kyransawhill6650]

@@balthasardenner5216 - As they said, it’s NOT a Tumblr identity.

[@balthasardenner5216]

@@kyransawhill6650 As I said, it was a word BEFORE tumblr

[@mellohatesyou]

the idea of women maturing faster lead to me being sexualised a lot as a young girl and even groomed. especially for those who hit puberty faster.

[@Itsatragedeigh]

Yup same. And idk if it’s a chicken before the egg thing. Are we more mature cuz we have to deal with so much more or are we targeted because we’re more mature?

[@crisptomato9495]

Yeah I hate how you’re immediately viewed as more mature because your body decides to screw you over early. “Congratulations you’re a woman!” Ma’am I am in the most physical pain I have ever experienced in my 10 years of life as one of my organs shreds itself to bits inside of me and I bleed like a stuck pig. The last thing on my elementary schooler mind is that I’m a fully mature woman. I still need a pass to go to the bathroom ffs.

[@deactivatedbcsomecommentsi2279]

as somebody who had a “i have to be hyper masculine to be a man” phase, they’re just repeating stuff i’ve told myself and considering how bad i felt abt myself at that time period, they’re advice is shit

[@eaglestown4609]

Hope you're doing better!

[@Doctor-Infinite]

Same bro same

[@thedestroyasystem]

Same. Everyday I have to weigh whether I want to be gendered correctly or be happy with how I look. Since I started choosing the latter, I haven’t been happier (though I still have a long way to go)

[@Doctor-Infinite]

@@thedestroyasystem Not a System but a cis straight male here, I remember in my late teens i was HORRIFIED of going outside of my gender norms because it wasn’t “manly enough” I’ve always wanted to wear dresses, skirts, wear makeup, and have my nails painted But no cause “tHaTs FoR GiRLs” But after sneaking into my moms room and wearing her waist length skirt it was the most masculine I’ve ever felt in my entire life It didn’t detract from my manliness in the slightest Dressing how i wanted made me feel manlier lol I wholeheartedly understand how that feels (Sorry for the rant) Edited two months later: As of yesterday I painted my nails blue for the first time and i feel like a GOD

[@thedestroyasystem]

@@Doctor-Infinite no need to apologize, it’s always helpful to get that kind of stuff of your chest. Plus I’m sure as a cishet guy there’s extra societal pressure to conform to gender norms, otherwise ppl assume you’re LGBT. And even though that’s not an insult, I know how frustrating it can be to have people assume things about your identity based off how you dress and have to constantly correct those misperceptions. Gender stereotypes aren’t good for anybody. I wish more folks would understand that clothing isn’t inherently gendered but can really help people feel at home in their own skin.

[@seokjin9389]

I’m genuinely concerned and worried for men who perceive the world like this.

[@cocoquette]

Yeah, some people actually act like this in real life 😬

[@freethegays]

Its so sad :( we need as many men as possible to talk about mental health and try and change the message boys/men are getting from society. Tbh the lack of care for mens mental health is the cause of so many problems in society. i.e. drugs, poverty, gangs, domestic violence, sexual assault, sexism in general etc.

[@luzdunlevy5201]

Ik like r they good

[@sarina6850]

Incel 2.0

[@freethegays]

@@sarina6850 This crowd is the gateway to incel/mgtow. Same people, with virtually the same views, just not saying the most extreme of them.

[@prettyevil6662000]

I broke up with a guy who shared his feelings with me. His feelings, it turned out, were that I was a lesser human being because I was a woman and that 'good men like him have to settle for lesser women'. Man went on a whole tirade about how he was too good for me but society doesn't value men like him so he had to take me. Like, yeah, I broke up with that misogynist trash for sharing his 'logic'.

[@freakenstein1204]

absolutely hilarious to me that their misogyny is ace inclusive lmfao

[@yuhhbaby3179]

I KNOW LMFAO SHIT CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD

[@kate2706]

i’m more valid to them as an ace person than i am as a woman lmfao

[@labcabincaliforniasblacksunday]

“We are inclusive here. We support everyone. But women?😡😡😡”

[@cocoawhisker5060]

When i was younger i thought i was attracted to feminine men bc i like men who are sensitive and in touch with their emotions and not ashamed about it. But now i realize i just like mature men lol sensitivity shouldn't be seen as a feminine trait it should be seen as a well-adjusted human trait. Share your feelings with your girl 👏

[@tn420animations9]

I was raised to hold in emotions. The only emotion that's acceptable is anger. You cry you get a wooping.

[@tn420animations9]

Do not share your feelings with your so. I learned the hard way they will leave. I suggest talking to a therapist.

[@vyabillie4415]

@@tn420animations9 that moreso sounds like a problem with the people surrounding you rather than yourself. Sorry you gotta go through that, man.

[@alecbormia4523]

​@@tn420animations9 my guy the problem is the people you surround yourself with. I've been completely emotionally honest with my best friend and am trying to do the same with my other friends and it's just made my friendships better on the long run even though it's scary. The problem is not sharing your emotions it's the people you surround yourself with in your life who are not okay with you sharing those emotions. You need to get new friends.

[@ithoughtiwascishet1316]

i agree but also feminine men are just hot as is🏃🏽‍♀️💨

[@SkiingPwnsYou]

I get so frustrated when people refuse to believe that people work out for reasons other than attracting sexual partners. They're basically telling on themselves. It's also just self centered of these guys to think that the only reason a woman goes to the gym is to make their peepee hard. Give me a fucking break. I'm a muscular woman who works out 5-6 days a week because it's one of the only thing that makes a dent in my mental health. But yeah I guess i'm just lying to myself according to these guys

[@sirshotty7689]

It's always annoying to see people like that, like maybe some people exercise and diet because they want to stop hating themselves? Or the hundreds of other valid reasons why people might want to better their own lives?

[@t_ylr]

Also there are so many guys who love bodybuilding even tho they know they're way bigger than the ideal man. I feel like a lot of women would choose an athletic guy with a nice butt and no abs over a huge bodybuilder lol.

[@Purplesquigglystripe]

Yeah like have they heard of body dysmorphia? Its all centered on one’s own perception of themselves, not other peoples. Not all people who lift have it, but it is another reason why some people work out.

[@spooky6703]

What's that? You exercise for personal health, fulfillment, mental health, fun, to stay in shape for your work, or just a way to kill time? Nah, that's for making people horny.

[@tropicalfruit4571]

It blows my mind people can think like that. I myself work out to a) look good, b) be healthier. And I don't want to look better for the others, I don't give a shit, it's an exceptionally great bonus but I'm more concerned with what I think about myself so yeah... I'll keep working out to keep fitting in my S sized shirts, not because I need approval of other people.

[@DGarrettR]

you know that guy who "vented everything to his girl" and got broken up with the next day said some wild shit

[@petermmm42]

i bet he explained the entire fnaf lore in several hours,showed the girl how its possible for Italy to help germany win ww2,stab germany in the back despite a bad army,and invade and secure the land of many countries to restore the roman empire,and demonstrate it in hoi 4 historical mode on max graphics,while also usin his legs to carry heavy lifts,also talking about how hitler could win ww2 and also demonstrating on hoi 4,then read her all the fnaf books all while hooked up on 6 cups of espresso then showing how mexico could have won the mexican american war via irish volunteer forces while taking texas back only with an army of 100k troops and 20k guerillas or how the usa or mexico ould successfully unite baja and non baja californa or how long chile could exist or how the chile communist leader could just shoot missiles at the enemy forces trying to kill him via a soviet mig 21 that was there randomly securing a socialist chile or how tthat one time a random group of people (or country i forgot) were able to unite the americas if they told the irish they were fighting people who liked the british also showing how a vessel from every country of the americas couldve went to british ppl so justifying the war

[@macgirl1234]

Yeah... "The bottom half" has the same energy as calling women "Females" 😬😬

[@tyeevans4790]

I mean... its not wrong

[@starfruitshark_]

@@tyeevans4790 Correct, but it is dehumanizing. "Females" usually refer to plants or animals and the definition only talks about the reproductive side. It kind of waters down women to "baby-makers" if that makes sense. It's not wrong to say "I'm female" because like you said it's correct, but a lot of women dont like it such as myself. Sorry to be the annoying "smart" guy in the comments

[@tyeevans4790]

@@starfruitshark_ smart guy in the comments or the smart colleen?

[@wholethedogsout880]

@@tyeevans4790 😐

[@G.A.C_Preserve]

@@starfruitshark_ human are animal

[@BlessMyHart96]

Correction: They’re ALSO doing it for the male gaze. It’s men that defined the optimal male as a jacked gym bro. The female gaze is different

[@MaxOakland]

What’s the female gaze prefer

[@AFIXFORNIX]

​@@MaxOakland I can only speak for myself, but for me it's the 2005 movie version of Pride and Prejudice. There is a fleeting moment where Mr. Darcy holds Elizabeth's hand with their gloves off, and the way this moment is portrayed is so intense and so exciting. More so than any bluntly sexual or objectifying scene I have ever seen in a movie. There is a lot of focus on the eyes, rather than on body parts that are normally used to create sexual tension. You know, the up-side-down shot of a women's or me's body, where we only see the sexualized parts of the body and not the a whole person. Mr. Darcy's eyes have depth, and they give away a lot of things that he doesn't verbally express. It's the same for other characters in the movie. You can make interest and attraction known to the audience in a subtle way, you don't need the leader man to tell his side-kick "man, this chic is hot!". The attraction between Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth is also built around their banter and them exchanging ideas and ideals. For me, as a women, it's very flattering if a man takes interest in me also for my mind. My personal taste in guys are actually the thin, shortish, geeky guys. I find the "jacked gym bro" mostly unattractive. But if men feel more confident being jacked, they should certainly continue training regardless of my (and other women's) opinion.

[@viviankroger]

I've seen male "gym influencers" on Instagram, making posts about how most of the positive attention/admiration that they get, is from other dudes and not women 😅

[@namjoonie936]

!!!!

[@DM-nw5lu]

@@MaxOakland As AFIXFORNIX said, the female gaze is not focused on physicality. It's focused on the inner world of individuals and the motions and body parts that give their inner world away (facial expressions and faces in general, gestures, body movements). Portrait of a Lady on Fire is a pretty recent movie that is focused on the female gaze. It starkly shows the difference between the male and female gaze. Nothing like other movies you'd see on the big screen (most movies produced are focused on the male gaze because patriarchy).

[@angieemm]

I love how all of these experts are incredibly young guys lacking experience in life, relationships, and psychology classes. Sorry, but when women get older, they won't put up with a man who isn't sharing emotions with them. Real adult life is full of hardships: miscarriages, financial problems, layoffs, parenting issues, and if the man won't share his feelings about those negative events, the woman is going to feel totally alone and the relationship is going to break down. JFC, haven't these kids learned anything from talking to their divorced grandparents? I'm Gen X...all of this "advice" is the same dumb "advice" our parents were given. All bad.

[@grizzlygoldman]

Holy shit you’re right, we need really OLD pickup artist coaches, this could be big

[@melanieg.9092]

@@grizzlygoldman ngl that sounds just as bad

[@rubenaalexander5007]

Your parents were given dumb advice? I watched some videos from the 50s and besides occasionally being sexist and toxic, the relationship advice seemed pretty solid. It made me think that a good relationship transcends times and norms in the society.

[@bandetee9258]

@@rubenaalexander5007 yes and no. the whole “happy wife happy life” thing i feel was perpetuated around that time and i feel like it gave men a reason to not express their emotions but resent their wives

[@rubenaalexander5007]

@Liv Mawhinney I mean my grandfather was a cheating manwhore. My other grandfather SEEMED to have a healthy relationship. My grandmothers both worked, but the one in the unhealthy relationship was abused with her children. I don't know if my grandparents reflected the average couple. Both were drastically different. That's why I say that every couple had to be different from each other. I just feel like we look down on people in the past. They weren't idiots and knew how life worked. I don't think they were better or worse than today. The way we have things now, where both parents are workaholics, but women get paid less, would people in the future really not think that all couples were miserable? Depression and divorce and general financial instability is sadly really common. I still think couples are happy to be together. I say it's a case by case basis.

[@becca53444]

If I dated a guy and he told his friends all his problems but never came to me, I would feel insulted like he didn’t even trust me with his feelings

[@worldrenownedchickenchef]

There may be a reason why he wouldn’t tell you and besides, is it not better he talks to someone? I’m sure you have problems that you vent to just your girl friends and nobody else. There could be valid reasons as to why he doesn’t tell you so don’t assume the worst. If there’s no trust, there’s nothing

[@indmur]

It's because time and time again women have proven they don't want men to talk about feelings. It makes women get the "ick". Even if they say they want to that's not reflective of reality. There are so many stories of men getting cheated on or broken up with as soon as they show any vulnerability. And don't just dismiss this away, pretending it's not real is pathetic.

[@sillyperson1337]

​@indmur .... literally, women are begging men to be open with them and to express their feelings. I'm sorry that you've had a bad experience, but you gotta stop projecting. Yes, my boyfriend is emotional and I've comforted him through terrible stuff that he's gone through. I don't think he's any less of a man, instead I find him more emotionally attractive at this point because I know he trusts me.

[@anotherterribleday]

“Unless you’re asexual” Wait 😭 This is one of the last kind of places I would expect ace acknowledgement from. Like I’m happy about the acknowledgement but also ??? Anyway, that kinda breaks their whole argument, doesn’t it? If working out is only done to attract people for sex (which, btw, ace people can still enjoy…), and they believe aces wouldn’t be motivated by that, then that means aces are working out only for internal validation. Which means it is possible for someone to work out only for internal validation

[@Man-wolf-]

They leave out gay people in the process too, why would a lesbian care what a man thinks when she isnt even interested in men lol

[@apperusenpai]

My boyfriend has cried in front of me on a few different occasions. And you know what happened? Our relationship got stronger and we both feel confident and comfortable enough with each other to safely share our feelings with the other at any time, knowing it'll be well received. It's almost like allowing yourself to be vulnerable with someone THAT close to you fosters better communication and better relationships. 🤔🤔🤔

[@idiomatic444]

So has mine, I admit I didn't know what to do bc I never do when anyone cries but it was nice seeing him able to cry in front of me

[@DM-nw5lu]

Honestly, I'd be worried if my boyfriend never cried in front of me considering we've already been together for 4 years. I'd be worried he's got antisocial personality disorder or something.

[@gregvs.theworld451]

That's super wholesome, and good on you guys. Jarvis only mentioned it briefly, but I think there should be emphasis that, if a guy shares his feelings and a girl breaks up with him, the girl is the problem there, not sharing the feelings. I peruse a lot of online male centric spaces online because I care about men's modern issues, and full disclosure yes some of them do have issues here and there with toxicity and sexism, but credit where credit is due if it's not a specifically pua/red pill/mra/incel community, mods are typically good and deleting and blocking the most obvious advocates for those types of groups. That said, a story that comes up a lot is guys opening up to a woman, and the woman dumping them. Now, it is the internet, they could be lying, but I assume we're all good advocates of meeting people's lived experiences in good faith and not victim blaming, so let's assume a lot of guys share this issue. If this happens a lot, it could reinforce the idea that women don't want genuinely emotional guys, or want to hear their real emotions, the real dark heavy stuff. I think we need to be outspoken with the point that men should be able to be real with their partners, and if a woman leaves him when things get real, that's a fault of hers, not his for having feelings.

[@icravedeath.1200]

I've been given hope

[@maschaorsomething]

After our pet died my boyfriend shed a few tears while I didn't. I held him and told him he's allowed to cry, just as he liked to tell ME before. Being allowed to cry is not just for me, but applies to him too. It made my sympathy and respect for him grow bigger.

[@justabee9692]

The point about male and female brains maturing at different rates is actually being studied further, and a couple studies are finding that the differences may be due more to nurture than nature. Men historically have been allowed to act more "childishly" as children than women. (Childish being actions and activities that are age-appropriate but often only considered so for boys but not girls). "Boys will be boys" and all that while girls are expected to be prim and proper, not get dirty and be quiet. These stereotypes may have caused girls to mature faster to keep up with the gender roles assigned. That's what I've understood while looking into it, but as you said, everything is pretty inconclusive. I'm more inclined to believe that there really is no male or female brain though, just culturally instilled values and stereotypes based on gender, class, race, etc.

[@moeshrooms385]

I definitely think ur right, I take a psychology and sociology class and we just recently learned basically the same thing ur saying rn

[@qsamecarriere3221]

It also feels dirty for such an account to adress like this, bc this way older men can try to convince younger girls that it's normal for them to date, bc they "should" be at the same maturity level

[@thedestroyasystem]

Agreed 100%. As a trans person I’m very curious to figure out how much brain structure affects gender, but I’m inclined to believe the impact is not significant.

[@NankitaBR]

That makes complete sense. Specially because the different hormones that our bodies produce and that start to differentiate the male and female bodies (and are the things that cause the behaviour changes that cannot be attributed *only* to nurturing and are usually seasonal, aka PMS and such) only start to be produced during puberty, a lot later then when girls are said to "mature earlier than boys", which is... * checks watch * when they are *literally toddlers* .

[@myriadofcolours9861]

That honestly makes sense Especially when you think of what toys girls and boys stereotypically get Boys get robots and dinosaurs. They get sports and videogames. And little girls get dolls and cooking sets. They play mom and dad, pretend to cook, choose clothing for dolls, design dollhouses etc. From a very young age they're already being stimulated to like basically more adult themed things.

[@desired_war]

I remember I was taught that both genders fully develop their personality, traits, hobbies, and physical appearance, etc at 25. So the guy saying that a woman fully develops at 22 and a guy at 35 is definitely not right..

[@Crithosceleg]

Yes, in both men and women, the prefrontal cortex isn't done developing until somewhere around the mid twenties (I'm sure it varies from individual to individual). Since the prefrontal cortex is the most recent evolutionarily and both men and women possess it.... I don't know what these dolts think they're talking about being done maturing when they're talking about this. The prefrontal cortex is the center of the brain that controls for impulse control and decision making, executive function etc. Saying that women mature faster smacks of a groomer's mentality, to be honest. Society pressures women to be more socially in-line at a much younger age which a lot of people misconstrue as 'maturity' - that and the grooming aspect of that line of thinking. Just a yuck claim all around from those idiots.

[@desired_war]

@@Crithosceleg good explanation lol!

[@Cousinbiddy1]

Nope ur brain is never developed until ur 60s , 25 are useless for women

[@jingeralea]

Gender roles are such an L. They're just outdated at this point. If they work for some people idc, but I'd rather be in an equal relationship instead of some weird boss/follower split of roles that really isn't needed anymore.

[@dylandreisbach1986]

"vented my feelings and she broke up with me." I would love to hear what his feelings were. They could be "I feel unimportant and depressed." Or it could be "I feel like you are not putting enough makeup on and need to lose weight." Both could be considered sharing their feelings. But one is very understandable why they would break up.

[@joywolf83]

And even IF he actually shared feelings and she broke up, he basically just fast tracked their relationship lol so instead of spending the next months years with someone emotionally unavailable he got out of that one and now is free to be with someone who values him

[@tn420animations9]

My gf dumped me after I got depressed she found out I have bpd then left me. I couldn't talk to her about anything or else she will leave so I held everything in like she told me to. Looking back she was mean as fuck to me invalidated my feelings. I felt like a robot.

[@mushroup]

@@tn420animations9 i’m really sorry you were in a relationship like that. i’m sure it hurt(s) a lot but i’m glad you got out! idk you but i’m sure you deserve much much better than that

[@teadora1744]

@@tn420animations9 but the guys in the video mean it in a way that ANY girl would leave if you shared your feelings, which is so absurd and wrong. im sorry what you experienced but she just wasn't ready for that commitment, and handling a person with depression and bpd was maybe scary to her and too hard. you have to understand that other people also have feelings and it maybe affected her mentally when she found out. i have depression and have lost friends and also partners bcus of it. i've also dated a person with bpd and i first didn't mind but it affected me and my depression so i had to leave, even if i still love him to this day, i wasn't mature enough at that time for that commitment and neither was he. it has nothing to do with anyone's gender lmao.

[@rubenaalexander5007]

@@tn420animations9 Personally, I don't think I could date someone with depression again, not right now. It's really tiring to try to keep up this facade of being the rational one and the smart one. If you ever feel like letting the other person see how you're hurting and depressed too, at least for me, they never encouraged me or lifted me up. They just drew a blank. I never hated them for it but I dreaded talking to them. I was going through it myself, and hearing and trying to console someone who only spoke of suicide made my mental health so much worse. Hence, because of that trauma, I am trying to look for a guy that's more mentally stable. That was it on my end, but I knew that those guys were suffering. That's my theory at least for why your ex left you. If you saw inside her own head, it might have been a living hell, and then perhaps she couldn't balance a relationship on top of that. Besides that, frankly, if you pushed her away because you were depressed, I don't blame you, and you shouldn't blame yourself. Depression messes with your head and you can't function at full capacity.

[@maevem316]

"Men start to mature at 15, women start to mature between 14 and 16." Buddy, I've got news for you about what number comes between 14 and 16...

[@puffball4484]

I cannot believe he said that. Like I had to replay it to actually hear it. Wow....

[@MooCow765]

Also women don’t even start to mature at that age, they typically start puberty at around 9-14, he’s just so wrong!

[@ChoiSelena]

Lmaooo 🤣🤣

[@G.A.C_Preserve]

That's impossible

[@berrymint6384]

so THE SAME AGE

[@AD-wz6nd]

I love that they think people have careers just to be attractive. Bitch, I’ve got bills to pay. Also, the fact they said they only have friend networks to be attractive… Yikes.

[@GummyDinosaursify]

_You think some people follow their own dreams and live happy, healthy, fulfilling lives because they want to? NO. It's because they want to get laid!_ I can't even describe how stupid this way of thinking is and I'm pretty sure I lost braincells just having heard it.

[@YashaVatrushka]

These guys are the type of people who think that women only work out to look hot until women actually start to look strong af, and then they do they criticise them for not looking attractive anymore.

[@shareetz3154]

yep! women just can’t win with these ass-clowns.

[@thequeenofcringe1585]

That’s the exact vibe they give off

[@purgetheXYs]

Or who say that women need to stay in shape after kids and then get mad and say theyre only working out for looks when they do...

[@LiIbeanbagbean]

LITERALLY. Notice how men are always like “Girls that work out are validdd” but when women get muscle and like have six packs and stuff they are like “Ew nooo you actually look strong and I probably won’t be able to control you 😭”

[@sleepysmartboy6287]

"Vented to my girl and she left me the next day" Did you vent about how unhappy you were in the relationship or how toxic and awful she was?

[@Price8903]

Facts, he left that part out.

[@silentj624]

Yeah, we need more info. Or even if he was complaining about work what other things were going on?

[@kattodoggo3868]

He vented that she doesn't give him enough sex and he is not happy about it 😶

[@snakelegendary5602]

amogus?

[@qualek7862]

EVEN if it was nothing harmful, that just mean she, a singular person, is an asshole, and that the relationship wouldn’t have worked out anyway. It doesn’t mean it will happen with all other women, she might just be an asshole!

[@iris5478]

"women should tell us what they want >:(" "we want you to open up to us" "no you don't"

[@dianacarbonate]

Jarvis I love you and everything you say so much. I'm 38 and randomly found out that my 16 year old watches you too and it made me so happy. They're nonbinary and people like you make them feel seen and safe and loved. Thank you.

[@jeremydoerksen5988]

Good job shouting out Chad Chad's video, it was excellent! Looking forward to watching yours!

[@Yorokobi224]

Just watched that video last night by Chad Chad. Same

[@KellyLoom1s]

Chad Chad is criminally underrated. I’m so pleased he gave her a shout out!

[@ghzty4373]

Chad Chad is the ultimate Chad.

[@raspberrynarwhal8499]

She is hilarious

[@cannon9962]

Chad Chads videos have been so captivating and quality-consistent since the start of her youtube career and is definitely a creator to check out if this is your first time hearing about her!

[@Rampala]

The sad truth these bros aren't prepared for is that women specifically don't deadlift and bench press in front of dudes like this because they're ALWAYS compelled to give us unsolicited "advice" on what we're doing, and they're usually very wrong.

[@samanthatomcat]

As someone who works at a gym I can attest to this daily. I always see guys approaching girls to talk about how they're working out. More often then not, I then see the girls correct them and/or completely outlift them. Please guys....just let girls work out in peace. If you think they are doing something unsafe or that will injure them, kindly approach a gym employee so we can have our trainer sort it out.

[@TRexRAWWR1]

It's one of the many reasons I don't want to go to a gym to work out

[@Kate_Falls]

If your girl breaks up with you after "venting everything to her" she might have put up with a lot of compensatory behaviour of yours by then. Not showing how you feel will still show something's off and that might not be in a good way. She would have broken up with you anyway. He doesn't even mention what exactly he "vented" there. That might also give a clue. Or you just shouldn't have been with her anyway, as Jarvis states.. I love how my husband and I share tears and all sorts of moving moments, good or sad. No idea how that would make him weak.

[@lancelotandmerlin]

The asexuality thing: I don't think it has anything to do with sexuality bc yk asexual people could technically work out to get validated by other people without it being a sexual thing. Same goes for people that aren't asexual bc even if you're not asexual your top priority/goal won't always be to get laid (at least for a lot of people). It doesn't matter what your sexuality is, you could be working out for yourself, for external validation/admiration, for your health, to fit into beauty standards or for sex appeal. But probably just some mix of that.

[@tobiasb1622]

never cry in front of your girl. get a boyfriend instead, and share your problems with him. issue resolved

[@cassualtea2040]

This is the real gay agenda

[@ArKaneAcrumProductions]

💯

[@marsh.al.mel0w162]

Be gay do emotions

[@worldrenownedchickenchef]

If they complain, call them homophobic, that’ll shut them up

[@McBlazington]

I've been married for over a decade and if you have to hide your feelings from your wife you're doing it wrong. If your partner doesn't have your back, what's even the point.

[@Overseer2579]

Right. Not opening up in any type of relationship; romantic, platonic, or even a friends-with-benefits type scenario- is gonna inevitably, if slowly, erode any sense of trust between y’all and ruin the bond

[@deleena4841]

Yh, imagine having the emotional maturity of a toothbrush.

[@wingxerox]

"Don't share your emotions with your partner, my girl broke up with me the next day" Did you share that you were hooking up with their best friend and that you don't like her going out in revealing clothes?

[@Nikimouse311]

As someone who has been in a relationship for 10 years (living together for 5), not having my boyfriend share his feelings is a red flag. I’m in a relationship with a human being, not a robot. Also, he talked about the “male” being the rock. Like, it doesn’t work like that. Sometimes he is indeed the more stable one and the “rock”. Then there are times, actually it’s happening right now, where I am the “strong” one while he is going through it. It’s a give and take and all about balance.

[@Overseer2579]

Exactly. I think of it, personally, the same way when it comes to friendships. They’re a give and give in terms of each person being the rock

[@Nikimouse311]

@@Overseer2579 oh absolutely, there are times my friend needs help and we all rally behind them

[@dame3323]

Environment shapes us, everyone I have ever opened up to has thrown it back in my face whenever a argument has happens or if they just feel like being a ass. I agree with everything you said, sometimes it's not that they don't want to opened up but a mental block isn't letting then.

[@Overseer2579]

@@dame3323 I’m sorry to hear that. But I do agree, the people who surround us shape our disposition (or lack thereof) to emotional vulnerability. I hope you find a core group of people, eventually, who give you the space to be vulnerable, and for whom you can do the same. I also agree that yes, sometimes a ‘mental block’ is there, but I believe that people will eventually find the courage to open up about certain things in their own time, when they sense in their gut that the time is right

[@sillyperson1337]

​@@dame3323I'm sorry that you've gone through that, but I guarantee you it's because you didn't chose your friends well

[@Ruminations09]

"Unless you're asexual, don't come at me with that argument" Looks like it's my time to shine!

[@AirLight1646]

You have a pass to work out as much as you want, no one else

[@PhoenixRoseYT]

Asexual gang wya

[@danhurl1349]

Same

[@caprimann87]

we need your workout routine

[@mattrose99]

As a bi ace who fluctuates between sex positive and sex averse, I feel qualified to put in my application to join u in this quest

[@lilyritchie-cruickshank4969]

it's so strange how he is so very close to realising the pressure that a patriarchal society puts on women, and notes all the negative consequences of it, but then just stops before he gets to that point. his whole podcast is "hey, women are more valued for their looks and men are more valued for their accomplishments... what a crazy observation I have made, but that must be *just how it is* and I won't delve deeper into the topic because I cannot look at anything from a non-male perspective"

[@dimplegaming33]

Thats the thing he recognizes reality and moves on. Theres nothing inherently bad about this, you just get triggered he doesnt have your worldview.

[@creeperhunterD]

@@dimplegaming33 It's hard to take you seriously when you refer to someone as being "triggered". What is this, 2015? Maybe _don't_ use language like that.

[@dimplegaming33]

@@creeperhunterD Ill use whatever language I want midwit.

[@kattodoggo3868]

It's almost as if MEN set value on women based on their looks not accomplishment... Almost

[@nightstar2297]

@Katto Doggo well you can't really say that all men base a woman's value in their looks because that's not true.

[@alienlegs498]

“men observing toxic masculinity with increasing incredulity” is my favourite genre of comedy

[@ComeInsideMyMind]

I love how every one of these “Alphas”, or whatever they classify themselves as, state that you can’t cry in front of your partner. That is the worst advice that they could be promoting to their 13yr old audience. My husband is very emotional and he cry’s in front of me all the time and guess what… I haven’t left him. Because a healthy relationship lets both partners express themselves.

[@catfish513]

Lord I dated one of these guys and he never opened up. It always hurt the relationship and he took it out on me in controlling unhealthy abusive ways. When he finally opened up about a few things he literally just did it to justify abusive actions. When I broke up with him he pretty much just just went “I’m never sharing anything again this is why you broke up with me I don’t seem strong you basically feminized me I learned my lesson” like no I broke up with you because you were verbally abusive and controlling 💀

[@deasyastarr]

They swear they know what’s inside our heads to the point that they can tell women what we’re thinking and what our true motives are no matter what we actually say and they’re usually so very wrong.

[@catfish513]

@@deasyastarr lmfao exactly like bro I’m giving you the cheat sheet you know all of the answers and yet you still CHOOSE to do the opposite and ignore my clearly articulated and analyzed feelings I spent so much time reflecting on?! Why? Why do men?!!

[@namjoonie936]

im glad you got out of that situation 💓 hope your doing okay

[@deasyastarr]

@@catfish513 they do the exact opposite and then get upset when we don’t wanna be with them anymore. That’s just like having a job and doing the exact opposite of what is asked of you and getting fired but then blaming it on the company for being fired. Like what kind of logic??🤯

[@catfish513]

@@namjoonie936 have a new bf now and he’s all I ever wanted in a person. We communicate like adults and we talk about our past trauma a lot so we can understand how the other is feeling/how to cope. Thriving now! Thank you 💕

[@spanishderp]

My ears are slowly becoming a horror show because I wrestle. I never thought I was doing any of this exercise to impress girls, but thanks to these guys I know I'm consciously disfiguring myself for the fairer sex.

[@Rita-kx3yr]

There's nothing wrong with cauliflower ear, but if you personally want to protect your ears more, there's no shame in investing in some ear guards.

[@poop6914]

These guys are just projecting fr, they probably only workout to impress women and then they're like oh yeah i think this way so that means everyone else is also thinking this way. Kinda embarrassing that grown ass adults have these mindset 💀

[@ismellupdog]

Reading this comment before finishing the video is surreal LOL

[@Lucaz99]

@@poop6914 most of these ppl who talk about male/female archetypes, social hierarchy (not the real science but the bro science) and dating, ALWAYS talk like every moment and decision in their lives revolves around the opposite sex. DUDE, DON"T YOU EVER DO SOMETHING JUST FOR YOUSELF?

[@icarusgotooclose]

Exactly! I'm an avid distance runner which everyone knows basically makes your boobs go away. Last time I checked most straight guys liked boobs.

[@jahkugou]

It makes me so happy to see bigger creators shouting out Chad Chad she's so funny

[@hellocloverkitty]

Crying infront of your partner and venting to your partner is literally like, part of the point of having a partner? Like you work through stuff together because you love eachother

[@WNxNightS]

This is how all of the influencers in this sphere work. Joe Rogan, Ben Shapiro, Jordan Peterson, etc. They say something that anyone can objectively agree with, like you should work on being a better person, then follow it up with the most insane advice ever. Then if anyone disagrees with them on their insane advice their retort is "oh you just don't want people to improve themselves" or use whatever other objectively uncontroversial thing as a cover for their absolutely insane viewpoint.

[@WNxNightS]

@nøc I think they do that intentionally, at least the smart ones.

[@jimjimjimmy7793]

Joe just be saying random shit

[@marvelousTUD]

That’s called a motte-and-Bailey and it’s a very common rhetorical device used by assholes like the guy in the video. Say something outlandish and then retreat behind a more reasonable-sounding point.

[@s0ne01]

@@marvelousTUD sounds like too much effort to me.

[@s0ne01]

Jordan Peterson?

[@genevieveroy780]

also the “big, muscular, big shoulder small hips” man is not the female gaze, that’s the male gaze! men respect muscular men, but women for the most part (of course there are women who like muscular men, but like i said for the most part) women don’t like muscular men. look at BTS, timothe chalamet, tom holland, tom huddleston, matthew gray gublar, etc.

[@hideakisorachi3953]

yeah, most of the popular dudes that I notice a lot of girls like have a smaller, rectangular frame. tbh I see more focus put on hair, clothes, and how their hands look than anything.

[@jayp1890]

As a gay man, I can confirm, you are correct Muscular men are at least 45% of my type

[@DM-nw5lu]

Exactly. I've never been into buff guys. I wouldn't turn down someone just because he's muscular but it wouldn't increase my interest.

[@jediping]

I find a guy being vulnerable way more attractive than a guy with big muscles. Vulnerability shows you trust me. Muscles show you want to at best manipulate me, at worst dominate me.

[@user-bx8sj6qm3w]

I like both looks personally, but I don't like any of the examples you gave 😭 I also like men who are a mix of both like Ladybeard, he's so cute.

[@angeliquegarcia4646]

I go to the gym with my bf almost every day. We both have ADHD and going as a couple to exercise in a gym environment is like one of the best things I can do for my mental health. The habit of daily exercise adds so much structure to my life, since I have to eat because the gym makes me noticeably hungry, I drink more water, I have to take a shower afterwards, i have to make sure my car has gas, etc. The physical changes like strength and muscles are all secondary benefits to the lifestyle change

[@Butterflier00]

2:24 it's not like women have been told for decades that working out your upper body will make you look bulky and unattractive...so.....yeah of course we are more likely to just work out the butt and legs... but seriously guys...don't skip leg day...you want to be balanced not just for aesthetics...but also for health...I used to have pretty consistent lower back pain UNTIL I started workout out my lower body more in line of how I would hit my upper body

[@Happypheat]

I feel so bad for the younger kids who would be looking up to these dudes and then learn later that, that exact behavior needs to be unlearned if you plan on having any sort of adult relationships

[@Overseer2579]

Yeah, I’ve been one of those impressionable younger kids. Glad I unlearned the toxic advice taken in from KZbin idiot ‘coaches’ during my adolescence and started listening to my wiser close friends and family, and actually started seeing results

[@briansupermega5692]

@@Overseer2579 most people have bad advice. Not just dum dating coaches. What really helps is experience things yourself and trying out bad advice so u can find the little good advice.

[@Overseer2579]

@@briansupermega5692 that’s a logical fallacy because if you, the individual, can only learn from your own experiences and mistakes, then others could easily take your logic and use it against you, were you to give them advice. You would therefore be included in that majority of people who apparently, according to you, ‘give bad advice’.

[@sweethearth-d9349]

exactly. alpha males, these dumbass advices, shitty men podcasts, anti-sjws, edgelords have such an impact and i've been seeing younger and older teens (mostly boys) spitting out a bunch of nonsense that they get from other dudes like these. like, its pretty concerning. i remember seeing teens and younger folks when i was younger spitting out misogynistic, toxic, discriminatory bullshit... but now it feels like there's a rise of that as of recent years. i'm just really hoping they just... learn. like, these dudes and others are literally raising young misogynists... there's already enough of those already... ugh.

[@briansupermega5692]

@@Overseer2579How is it a logical fallacy. I don’t give advice. But if I did I would always cushion it with this may not work for me but in my experience or in other people who are similar to u experiences, you should do this. Try it and if it doesn’t work for u stop. I could give bad advice.

[@thedestroyasystem]

An alpha male podcast is the last place I’d expect to hear the word “asexual” lmao

[@maylen9299]

11:28 NOOOO DON'T DO THAT! TELL USSSSSS. Communication is KEY it's so fricking important!

[@FionavanDahl]

7:00 he needs a copy of that book, "Eats Shoots and Pubes and Stuff"

[@patricelinman7183]

"At 15, boys learn to dress better" I'm from the mid west and guys here pull out the cargo shorts the second it hits above 45 degrees so I disagree with that statement.

[@nmoney000]

Are you jealous that we can fit so many things in our pockets?

[@mattrose99]

At 15 I almost passed out due to heat exhaustion cuz in the desert I live in I decided to wear a jacket and jeans everyday and at 22 I wear a tshirt and shorts or a short dress in the summer so I think my style has upgraded

[@ThexDynastxQueen]

I'm reminded of my little sister going to a dance with a boy where all he had to do was buy or rent a suit that fit, he couldn't even do that and his parents were visibly disappointed lol. I still dress like a teenager tho but I'm a woman, I can do whatever I want with my money so anime shirts it is 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@pyxeeful]

I went to highschool in the tail end of the 90s....boys have never dressed well. I present JNCO as evidence.

[@Bee19207]

Toxically masculine podcasts like these are very harmful to the men that watch them. “Don’t share your feelings and emotions with your partner” and “always be strong for your girl” sounds like something a toxic parent would nail into their sons head. It’s so sad and unhealthy, especially if the guys watching are teens :(

[@Davistheko]

As a teen who has been told this many times by their bio mom (thank god she isnt there) it does not only damage the dudes, it generally makes it unhealthy for the woman in the situation too. Like, it is just horrible advice for everyone involved

[@Poedoco]

and also heteronormative 😌

[@Overseer2579]

I remember hearing advice from some shithead named Tripp Kramer (his channel’s called Tripp Advice, it’s terrible) back when I was a dumb, impressionable teen, and he literally stated in one video that if you do exactly that (share your feelings, emotions, or show that you’re not completely on top of things for even one second), your girlfriend will leave you. I’ve never seen a single person in a successful relationship who doesn’t talk about their problems with their SO, and vice versa

[@ona512]

Do you watch Kurtis OP? Kurtis addressed alpha bros like this. One of them wrote in a book that confirmed that his root-base motivation to act this way was that he was bullied in school, and when he tried to get comfort from his dad, his dad agreed with the bullies and body shamed him.

[@sundalosketch4769]

It kinda surprises me that young teen boys actually fall for such things, but then i remember i was one of the lucky ones taught better by my mother on how to respect everyone and myself regardless of gender.

[@muffindaboss2595]

As a woman, I can can say that I don't work out for men. I work out for women :)

[@maylen9299]

6:24 THAT LAUGH. It was so guttaral it was just like " AHAUH HAUH HAUH HAUH) like almost staged. This is as close as he could get to being a "manly man" without his laugh just being "Testosterone Testosterone Testosterone"

[@emana3704]

they use this “women mature faster” argument to groom women and manipulate them.

[@the_Sarahnator]

I wish you'd touched upon their "working out is easier for women because men have to deal with gravity" moment because 😂😂😂

[@FrenkTheJoy]

Women always be just floating into space due to their lack of gravity smh

[@dothmotherknowyouwearth]

I saw the sound on a TikTok compilation and the women just floated lmao

[@tatiana4050]

@@FrenkTheJoy actually this the main cause for obseity in women. Men just eat too much. Women just dont confrom to earth's gravitational pull and generate their own gravitional field becoming slowly spherical and gaining mass due to creating their own hard to escape atmosphere.

[@mattrose99]

I swear to god I need to see him reenact what he thinks the Womens WorkoutTM is

[@namjoonie936]

@@FrenkTheJoy we got an off button dont worry 👌

[@ashtraylol]

"Unless you're asexual don't come at me with that argument" I almost DIED

[@calliehedtke7532]

I absolutely lost it when he pointed out the bullet necklace and then the camera cut to him wearing a Rubix cube. Top tier comedy right there 😂

[@MongrelProps]

these people have the most surface level intelligence possible and its so frustrating to see them take every thought they have as absolute fact

[@MaxOakland]

Hopefully they’ll grow up because yeah

[@alex-zo5rf]

I stopped talking to a friend after he vented to me, but not because of the actual venting, but he was emotionally manipulating me into dating him with that venting. He was suicidal and would tell me stuff like "if you wouldn't have responded I would have probably killed myself" and stuff like "I don't have anything to live for in this world I want to live to make you happy" and etc... I would have loved to be there for him as a friend if he didn't keep trying to make me date him but even so, he is someone who has some mental health problems, and I feel sorry for them, but I've also had many mental problems since I was a child, and I don't manipulate people into dating or staying friends with me. I told them to go to therapy but they refused. I don't want to be anyone's reason to live, and nobody should feel that pressure. That stuff might seem sweet in movies but in reality it's very toxic and it's not how a healthy person would think.

[@maschaorsomething]

Omg so proud of you. My ex was very similar, putting all his eggs in my basket. I told him he needed therapy for his issues, because he very likely suffered from the exact same personality disorder like I do, but I'm in treatment. He told me my love is all he needs to be healthy and happy. He was incredibly abusive though! Took me my current partner quite literally rescuing me to get away from that guy before he'd further attempt to hurt me. Phew...

[@alex-zo5rf]

@@maschaorsomething Wow that sounds horrible. I am very glad that you are not in that situation anymore and I am so proud of you too!!! :) It's very stressful. I felt a lot of guilt after but I know I did the right thing, and my therapist told me the same thing. I hope you are completely safe from him and I hope things are going well with your current partner :)

[@tino4769]

Honestly all bad partners do that at some point my ex husband did that so much. To where I finally did take the chance he would and got a divorce, I called his family and told them he was at risk though.

[@kattodoggo3868]

@@tino4769 i am asking. Where are their male friends? We all hear about men having problems, listening to other dudes etc etc, going out, bla bla but when you need them then where are they? Men again depending on women because they don't have real friends?

[@Aliballer]

@@alex-zo5rf sounds like my ex. She use to pull that as well

[@kitbash6430]

Love how these alpha bro “men vs women biology” discussions completely ignore the existence of trans people

[@ijustdocomments6777]

That would be because they are talking about biology.

[@missyaman7053]

Am glad they're leaving them alone. they don't deserve to get involved in this BS.

[@Aliballer]

I mean there talking about biology not what you feel inside

[@petermmm42]

if a biological women is trans can she be an alpha female biologically? or could a trans biological man become an alpha female social and pretty much in every other way then biological wise

[@josevvn]

2:08 loved the rubik’s cube detail following the non conventional objets these dudes were wearing 😭

[@dinahmyte3749]

On International Men's Day, I commented on a lot of posts saying "Hey guys, check up on your guy friends. The best way to breakdown toxic masculinity is to end the stigma around mental health" and then got a bunch of guys LITERALLY DM'ing me asking why don't women ask guys about their feelings? Like, 1, isn't that what I just did? I literally acknowledge men's feelings and reached out and told them to support each other more. And 2, because you think we're HITTING ON YOU when we ask. A video came out around that time about checking up on your male friends and having them respond "you're not like other girls" and why women avoid checking up on their male friends... because men equate ALL FEELINGS with either anger or sex. That's a failing on toxic masculinity. Check up on your boys. Support them in a non-toxic way and get therapy if you can afford it. You CAN do things you enjoy just for yourself. I'm queer and ace. NOTHING I do is for men and yet dude's consistently think that... Why? Human brains develop at a consistent rate if given the right nutrients, stimulation, and healthy emotional releases. Women don't "mature" faster in a biological way, we're forced to grow up faster because men get to be pigs in western society for as long as possible. I was not more mature than my fellow guy classmates. I was just told to shut up more. So I did. "She's mature for her age" is a comment on a trauma response. Is she mature for her age or is she the oldest girl and forced to parent her parents and siblings? Is she mature for her age or was she forced to grow sexually at a young age due to the sexualization of teens in her culture? Is she mature for her age or do you let men the same age act like children without repercussions?

[@doperagu8471]

Well said!! And I agree with you about being nice to men or asking about their feelings can often lead to mean thinking you're hitting on them. I can't tell you the amount of guys I've met at a party or a night out, we've been talking for a bit and having a great conversation. I think I've made a friend. Then they find out I have a partner and I never see them again. Don't get me wrong, I know it's tough for guys to have the courage to "shoot their shot" or whatever, but why's it got to be so all or nothing for a lot of guys? Like romantic interest or nothing, and a romantic or sexual relationship with another gender is the only or "best" end goal. FYI, you can be friends with the opposite gender! And just because a girl isn't interested doesn't have to mean you've lost a romantic or sexual prospect - it could mean you've gained a friend instead. And sometimes gaining a friend is a much better overall end goal anyways.

[@user-vh8qn6zh3p]

Even worse: when you start talking to a guy and you talk for months and do some activities together and you think you made a good friend and then turns out he's romantically interested in you and then he becomes all pouty and angy because you won't date him and constantly reminds you about it even if he agreed to be "just friends" (I hate the word "friendzone" btw, it's quite a bit toxic and unhealthy, because women should be allowed to have male friends without being expected to date them). And all those "I thought you liked me" or "you've done so much for me you're literally my entire world and I want to talk to you all the time" which is like ew, okay, stop idolising me and thinking of me as of a motherly figure you're also attracted to. I have a couple of male friends who I know for sure are not attracted to me and never will be. Why? Well some of them have a partner, some of them are gay and some of them both have a partner and are gay. Those are literally only men who never went to confessing their undying love for me phase after talking to me for a couple of months (they're very good friends too). But for real, I love making friends and meeting new people. But that type of thing makes me really uncomfortable and upset. And I don't assume people have feelings for me until they explicitly confess and then it all becomes weird and it's so so so weird that it happens a lot, I didn't expect that it would happen that often.

[@Kayvix]

@@user-vh8qn6zh3p it’s so true that the term friendzone is toxic to male and female friendships and I didn’t realize the power it has. It’s got such a negative connotation so to guys it becomes a bad thing to have a female friend and the only goal becomes getting something more from her. For girls it can stop them from rejecting advances because they feel as though they’re being rude and they’ll probably be treated worse once a toxic male no longer sees value in them.

[@J_Lynn]

@@doperagu8471 worst is when I've made a male friend who is dating someone, and then when they eventually break up with that person I suddenly find out that they weren't purely friendly with me. They were just keeping me on the shelf until their current relationship went bad. Once they find out you have no interest in dating they just ghost you. Even if you've been friends with them for years. Then they'll come back after each breakup suddenly wanting to know how your life is. Zero emotional maturity.

[@NankitaBR]

I've lost count on all the boys and men in my life that I just acted nicely and treated them with cordiality in our every day interactions that eventually came to either confess their love or even worse, just came on to me hard and were angry when I didn't return the sentiment. And all of those times I was never acting any differently then how I always act towards *everyone else* , and even though I'm friends a lot of bissexual and lesbian girls, none of them actually took my amiability and good manners as me being into them, the ones who did that were all cis-hetero men.

[@horsegirlheresy6195]

“I shared my feelings with a girl and she broke up with me” from these types of guys usually translates to “I trauma dumped on this girl that I’ve had two conversations with before without forewarning and then she felt uncomfortable and I didn’t understand why”

[@elispabeth]

eh you can't assume anything from a single statement. what they may have said was true, and there is no reason to assume they lied

[@tn420animations9]

My gf actually did leave me I with her for three years. She found out I was depressed then she just left me. And I now cut myself to cope.

[@tn420animations9]

I'm a guy

[@g.t.3186]

@@tn420animations9 Ay man, you didn't do anything wrong, she's the one at fault here. You should always share your feelings with your partner, and if they leave you like this girl left you, then trust me, you're better off that way. No meaningful relationship can blossom if both parties aren't open to eachother at all times. Don't see this as a fail or as something bad, see this as an opportunity to find someone that actually loves and stands by your side no matter what. Love is about helping eachother improve, not letting people down when they need you the most. Right now just focus on spending time with your friends and other people close to you; there's also nothing wrong with taking sometime to ourselfes and seeking out help. Godspeed king, the sun will burn brighter someday.

[@BiratesoftheCaribbean]

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I've had guys never talk to me about whatever was going wrong at the moment, they got emotionallly unattached to me because they weren't sharing and THEN trauma dumped when we were ending the relationship. It should never be don't say anything/ say everything. It's more of a "get to know someone progressively and let them know you". It takes time and effort, which is why I think so many people have failed relationships.

[@maylen9299]

7:06 siR, i think you needed a period there. or at least a comma

[@cyclops6506]

6:48 ah yes, of course, when you’re 15 the dress sense part of your brain gets developed

[@ceilidh5042]

Why did they go “You don’t have friends for yourself” as if the whole point of having friends is not to fulfill YOUR need for people. Like buddy that’s the whole point?? Also I am very happy that you shouted out Chad Chad because Chad Chad is super awesome

[@MissDraiha]

Yes that was so fucking weird!

[@vglycorpse]

Literal robots lmaoooo

[@samantha4564]

all of the advice these “men” are giving literally describes my dad in terms of how he handles things and behaves, and while I was growing up that shit wore my mother down to a degree no woman should have to deal with; it was really hard to watch her go through that for as long as she did before they split

[@uxbnkuribo]

That generation was really big on "men shouldn't show their emotions in public," which is how they became a generation of emotionally distant people, or even abusive. And then they wonder why their kids only call on Thanksgiving and Christmas.

[@Itsatragedeigh]

My now husband struggles with self harm. When he didn’t talk to me about his feelings, he would self harm. Then he would get drunk and vent about it all and it’d be a bad time for everyone. You know what actually helped him cope with it? Fucking talking to me when he felt like hurting himself and then he wouldn’t. The number one thing in relationships is communication - the good bad and the ugly. If you cant handle that from another person you’re not ready for a relationship.

[@edenwinter9055]

As a former addict and someone suffering from MDD exercising/working is necessary in my recovery. The physical benefits are just a happy byproduct but NOT the reason I workout.

[@bugking1413]

"Is that a rifle bullet?" Yeah, he's just compensating for his exceptionally low caliber.

[@proudmornings5788]

LMAOOOOO

[@theblaze5530]

*Applause*

[@limitless_valley]

Destroyed

[@snowman-xu3cr]

i love how jarvis starts wearing a rubix cube around his neck after talking about “unconventional neckwear”

[@eversburrow]

it’s always weird when men assume women only exercise for men.. personally i only exercise in my own house, because i don’t like being stared at. i dance purely for weight loss and because i’m a dancer

[@danielazenteno4112]

Everyone here talking about the nasty men but I'm just so happy Chad Chad is getting the recognition she DESERVES I love her videos she's amazing

[@juliadesrocher7804]

With my degree in exercise physiology, I can confirm my 4 years of college was spent solely learning about how we only exercise for sexual attraction and nothing else

[@tyeevans4790]

4 years well spent

[@reneeejindu3277]

12:30 the first time my boyfriend cried in front of me and opened up to me emotionally was the start of our relationship becoming better, more loving, and open. It made me feel happy and not alone in always sharing my thoughts and feelings. It was good to know that he could share that with me because I finally was shown all of him, his worst and his best. And that made me love him all the more

[@tiffanyb543]

I was going to write a similar comment but you said it better :)

[@Toyon95]

Yeah! It shows you a guy trusts you!

[@FionavanDahl]

literally what is the point of having a life partner if you can't (safely, respectfully) vent to them about what's important to you?

[@ashleylytle5556]

I actually use working out as a coping mechanism for BPD. You know, to help me keep from ✨unaliving✨ myself. But yeah, it’s totally just for male validation fs

[@medicalgirl3]

These guys went "kings" and my pasty white ass was like "y'all are too white to be saying that sit down" 😂

[@jessicawilson8240]

Its pretty sad the way they treat relationships like a game... because aside from treating women like prizes to be won, if you're so carefully moderating yourself in relationships like that then you're stopping yourself from ever being in real, meaningful and fulfilling relationships.

[@ThePinjaProductions]

Not to mention… if the only thing they can think to do is trick or manipulate women…. that they can’t even fathom the idea that anyone would be attracted to their authentic selves…. That’s just really sad.

[@darcie6491]

@WhatsKrakenLackin fr its so depressing that they're so deep in this hole that theyd sooner pretend to be someone else through every romantic relationship than just be the best version of themselves. if they weren't such shitheads id feel bad for em

[@thisurldoesnotexist]

"No he's cute and I objectify him bc he's my friend" felt that

[@drunkhyena]

I love Jarvis's 'my friends are so cute and I want to kiss them' vibe recently I mean he's not wrong

[@marciaguy10899]

Some women workout to be strong enough to fight off potential assailants…would they still count that as working out for men?

[@MJ-mp1fx]

It's kind of sad though that they cannot wrap their heads around the idea of an emotionally supportive partner or someone exercising as self care (or even why it's not nefarious to exercise to be more attractive- that's a valid motivation too!). Like dang, who hurt them?

[@morgangreen8777]

i actually agree that as men we should only be sharing our feelings with the boys. we should also kiss our boys and tell them we love them more pretty good advice for being in a gay relationship. be emotionally vulnerable with your bro lol

[@cozycasasmr4510]

👏

[@tn420animations9]

As a man the only people you should open up to are the suicide hotline people.

[@pootpootfart]

@@tn420animations9 HELP? ARE YOU GOOD?😭😭

[@ChespinCraft]

so true 🙏🙏

[@Bass_Mage]

@@tn420animations9 My guy, are you okay? I've been reading your comments and you seem to be severely stuck in a toxic masculinity/trauma bombing mindset. I'm depressed too, I understand how it feels. But dude... I really hope you're looking into therapy. As a man, I open up to anyone who wants to listen, regardless of gender. Saying that you should only open up to a suicide hotline is dangerous talk, and definitely won't win you any favors with the gender you're attracted to.

[@Mayonnaise420]

“Women only do leg day” Me, sitting with my stiffened, blister covered hands after a pull day; “Am I a joke to you?”

[@SkiingPwnsYou]

Same lmao. My chest and shoulders are super tired from heavy bench and over head press.

[@starlight8554]

I just did my back and triceps today and I feel this 🥲

[@justloadalready8839]

"Women start developing at like 14, 16?" Like jeeze. Was that a question bro? Because some of us develop in 3rd grade and it is real rough for several years. These guys are so far removed from real life that they didn't even do a google search.

[@charmedquartz7528]

My babies father just lost a friend and I held him as he cried. It was a bonding moment I have never experienced with a man and it made me love him even more than I already do. I know he’ll be there for me in a bad situation just like I was there for him. Not having a relationship where you can say what you feel without judgment isn’t a productive or healthy relationship.

[@7BUGS]

"men like butt women like pelvis" i am going to crush these men with my gay little hands

[@seokjin9389]

I volunteer my gay little hands to the crushing cause as well!

[@AirLight1646]

Yasssss I want to join

[@Lin-wi2zm]

I can contribute 🤝

[@ashknight6696]

i'm a little gay man who likes hands

[@TRexRAWWR1]

I'll work out more to contribute my lesbian little hands

[@lamplol7120]

fun fact: female bodies tend to store fat in the lower part of the body (butt, thighs, and legs) so ofc we’re gonna focus on these parts when we workout

[@Mars-dw2zc]

targeted exercises dont burn fat from particular areas tho, u just lose fat from wherever the last place was that u gained it. tbh i doubt the claim that women focus on their legs more than their upper body. theyre probably just not doing weights training with the aim of building super bulky arms

[@shaankapoor9074]

Targeted exercise doesn't work🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[@lamplol7120]

@@Mars-dw2zc oh i actually didn't know that, but that doesn't change my point... But still thanks for the info

[@purgetheXYs]

@@shaankapoor9074 it doesnt to burn fat only in one area but isolation exercises absolutely target specific muscle group development. Women tend to more easily build muscles in this area because we have to have a stable base for carrying a pregnancy, while its usually the opposite for men. yall know exactly wtf she meant.

[@shaankapoor9074]

@@purgetheXYs not really, English is not my first language.

[@BlackMetalChainsaw]

I have been a personal trainer for some time now and I find it absolutely bizarre that what men and women "think" is attractive to the opposite sex really isn't what is attractive in most cases.

[@kyzsa]

I cannot explain how much serotonin I gain whenever I hear the little “Goooooold!” In the intro. So much joy.