Relationships and Complex Trauma - Part 9/11 - Attachment Disorders

  Рет қаралды 37,568

Tim Fletcher

Tim Fletcher

5 жыл бұрын

Healthy attachment and attachment disorders: "The opposite of addiction is not sobriety, it is connection"
Thanks for reaching out! Read below to discover ways you can help, or go to our website: www.timfletcher.ca!
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LEARN
🔍 ONLINE
🎓 BRAND NEW Courses + Memberships available at www.timfletcher.ca/membership...
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🔍 IN-PERSON
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TEACH
🎓 COMPASS Facilitator & Coach Training is offered to LIFT Online Learning graduates who would like to facilitate our programs or further their education as Complex Trauma coaches. Our coaches and facilitators help those living with addictions, process their trauma and assist them in developing techniques that lead to better decision-making and healthier lives. Learn more here: www.timfletcher.ca/teach
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ENGAGE
🎓 Workshops are being made available where you, a group or organization can attend to learn about Complex Trauma. Workshops are specific to Complex Trauma and vocation themes, and offer detailed information about how Complex Trauma creates dysfunction and offers tools for healing.
www.timfletcher.ca/engage
🎓 SEMINARS & WEBINARS Contact us to book a webinar or an in-person seminar with Tim Fletcher. Email: contact@timfletcher.ca. Topics include: Trauma-Informed Care, Anger, Shame and Codependency.
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LICENSE
🎓 LIFT Online Learning is available for trainees or licensee hopefuls in order to best understand healing and provide successful peer-to-peer support. It is available from the comfort of your home. Find out more information here: www.timfletcher.ca/learn-online
🔍 PROGRAM LICENSING OPTIONS
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🌐 Go to timfletcher.ca to find out more.

Пікірлер: 75
@Narrowway7
@Narrowway7 3 ай бұрын
Connecting with animals was my cope. They were and still are my safe place.
@KR_11117
@KR_11117 Ай бұрын
I’m with you! My only source of love and acceptance were my pets, until today people doesn’t understand why I love animals so much!
@zaram131
@zaram131 3 күн бұрын
Same here but I had loving parents so I don’t know what is wrong with me!!
@marknelsen55
@marknelsen55 5 жыл бұрын
TIM, U R... an Amazing gift to humanity!
@beautydefined1601
@beautydefined1601 2 жыл бұрын
This ministry is changing my life
@sarahcouture24
@sarahcouture24 3 жыл бұрын
That’s what I love most about Tim Fletcher 💜 he doesn’t just accept everything he his told as truth. He examines a concepts validity before deciding whether or not to agree with the message. He uses critical thinking and his own mind to question, challenge and discern what information is actually true and accurate apart from the platitudes and the bs. He thinks for himself in a realistic way, he’s not a propaganda puppet whatsoever. It’s cool that he’s not afraid to discuss things that might be counter to popular belief or controversial, even amongst his fellow Christians. That’s why I respect him and love his videos/talks. His philosophy is authentically accepted by his own reasoning, not just regurgitated indoctrination. What he has to say is based in research, psychology and honest Christian spirituality rather than any distorted/corrupted religious views. I do not identify as religious myself, but I really like what this guy has to say. I am in agreement. I also love how he doesn’t push religion on the listener. So very wise and respectful 👏 thank you Tim 💜
@arthurnorton284
@arthurnorton284 2 жыл бұрын
I agree with your points. Authenticity and truth resonate and you just know it when you hear it
@JanGroh
@JanGroh 8 ай бұрын
Same!
@lisajackson2288
@lisajackson2288 3 ай бұрын
@mattng4707
@mattng4707 2 ай бұрын
Disagree with his Christian side but love his CPSTD ... Christianity like all religion is Magical thinking think who is drawn to cults and religious people CPSTD people like me ...
@kathy1001
@kathy1001 Ай бұрын
I absolutely agree!!! ❤
@WickedWood4U
@WickedWood4U 2 жыл бұрын
God Bless you Tim You are a treasure trove of knowledge & hold the keys & answers to many of life’s problems and very important questions. Thank You for all your time and effort, your positive contribution to humanity is profound & everlasting!!!:-) keep up the good work!!! You are a one of a kind and this world is certainly a better place because of YOU!!!
@AllIn1Studio
@AllIn1Studio 2 жыл бұрын
Your note of gratitude to Tim covers it all. I just wrote reams in response and addition but forgot to hit send and lost it all! Never mind. Tim Is a gift from God to us all. The revelations we are all receiving from his insights are staggering. We’ve all got another shot at life and I personally have layers and layers of dysfunction peel off and fall away. Because we recognize his teachings are just what Western society needs it is with great respect and support for his work that I tell anyone I meet who seems lost, discouraged and dis-eased to go click of any video of his with a title that appeals to them and bam!…they’ll start to see the Light. God bless this man filled with the true passion of giving and helping. No agenda, no ego…just caring for humanity!
@WickedWood4U
@WickedWood4U 2 жыл бұрын
@@AllIn1Studio I wanted to say thank you for taking the time to respond to me concerning my comments on Tim having such a profound and positive impact on my Life. He truly is a gift from God the world needs many more like him!:-) and btw I can sympathize on how it feels to have forgotten to hit the send button after spending a considerable amount of time and energy to get my mind to extract the right words from my heart, so that the one and only woman I have ever loved would finally realize, that she truly is the love of my life and just how special see is to me and then to have it all vanish for good over that stinkin little send button I know I pushed just not good enough I guess:-( that happened a couple times I learned my lesson after that, Im writing her a letter & praying the right words will still flow from my heart again the way they did before….etc.. Anyhow sorry I was so long-winded I just thought it was funny you have experienced the same heartbreak as a result of that stupid little sand button lol :-) I hope you have an awesome day God bless you
@AllIn1Studio
@AllIn1Studio 2 жыл бұрын
@@WickedWood4U I have discovered that when my male friends talk about the love of their life and that somehow the relationship hasn’t panned out the way they want, I tell them that women are actually much more easy to please than men. First and foremost you must find out the woman’s dominant sense. If aural is her dominant sense buying her diamonds and pearls won’t cut it, but whispering sweet words, saying kind real authentic things - short n sweet - carried on clean warm breath into her ear will! Music too. A crucial one. I have a feeling her dominant sense is hearing. Do you play an instrument? If not buy a ukulele and play a love song to her! If I’m not psychic after all (!) just think about taste, touch, smell and sight. Go from there when you compose your letter. Appeal to her dominant sense. iMessage Neuhart won’t have to be that long if you come from that angle. 🥰
@AllIn1Studio
@AllIn1Studio 2 жыл бұрын
@@WickedWood4U Addendum: In saying how special she is you, make sure you mention how special she is….period. Then add how you in recognizing her beautiful qualities you just want to be there to enhance them , keep her spirit buoyant by being there for her and not there for her when she needs her space. Hope you don’t mind this input. I have psychic gifts actually so…… Hope this helps!
@ruthsnyder1020
@ruthsnyder1020 2 жыл бұрын
Agreed
@JimPowellS
@JimPowellS 2 ай бұрын
"Happy people are all alike; every unhappy person is unhappy in their own way." The challenge of raising well adjusted individuals is you have to get everything right, and even more challenging to help someone who's already unhappy because so much can be wrong.
@katrinabalcells-ju5fk
@katrinabalcells-ju5fk 5 ай бұрын
Thank you for all the work you do. You are changing the life of generations to come.
@NA-xo3zb
@NA-xo3zb 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this Tim!! A lot of things were validated here which is both good and bad and sad 😐
@ruthsnyder1020
@ruthsnyder1020 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for these videos. Oh my goodness, will I ever watch them All? I really, really like how you explain things from a psychological view at 1st and then tie it in to The Bible at the end. Everything you say makes so much sense. Thank you . You're a good man for putting on these seminars.
@carinwiseman4309
@carinwiseman4309 2 жыл бұрын
Also use pets to connect. They are like an addiction too
@Alex-vj6wr
@Alex-vj6wr 2 ай бұрын
🎯
@krustysurfer
@krustysurfer 2 ай бұрын
Profound revelations and concepts Tim. Yes thats how I understood marriage intimacy and connection. I've become one more times than Im comfortable with. Lots of amends to make... Thank you for everything you do.
@Joel.Ravet88
@Joel.Ravet88 2 жыл бұрын
Watching this in 2021, wow... I'm only 10 minutes in, and it's hitting me to the core to grow and change for the better, thank you, Tim!
@writeousrhema
@writeousrhema Жыл бұрын
Wow. Cure for addiction is connection
@kathy1001
@kathy1001 Ай бұрын
I want to thank Tim from the bottom of my heart. 🙏🙏❤❤
@Phoebe-cy8xc
@Phoebe-cy8xc 2 ай бұрын
This is totally brilliant 👍👍👍 things are making so much sense after hearing you Tim. Thank you so much 🙏🏼
@tl5404
@tl5404 Жыл бұрын
Oh my goodness! The research that Tim spoke about really drilled into the importance of a good community for healing, AND also showed that like humans, animals have feelings and the need for connection! And if they have the same need as us for survival, then we should really also rethink about our food source!
@madeline7969
@madeline7969 Ай бұрын
I am grateful that i found such a teacher like you. Thank you
@ts3858
@ts3858 2 жыл бұрын
This is the problem. I can't find SAFE people in these 12 step rooms ...I was deeply hurt and retraumatized more from some of these ppl than others outside the program bc I expected them to be trusting and safe given the principles say we are to be loving and compassionate and protect anonymity.. Instead I was betrayed by a cppl of ppl. Now I'm really disillusioned as the opposite of addiction (to food anorexia ...) Is connection. I haven't yet found a sponsor as I'm afraid to be judged...🙏😓
@Alex-vj6wr
@Alex-vj6wr 2 ай бұрын
Same. That's because they are not safe people. I learned that the hard way.
@Lulu-Godsbeloved
@Lulu-Godsbeloved 2 ай бұрын
Tim has a video on the 9 people you'll meet in recovery groups. It gave me a lot of clarity.
@krustysurfer
@krustysurfer Ай бұрын
Its your expectations that were out of place, you were in a place where most everyone is sick (all mankind is) and trying to recover and everyone is at a different stage or place on that path. Where in normal society people are generally in denial and/or ignorant and could care less about getting better because in their eyes there is nothing wrong needing to be fixed ... Nothing safe about that either. At least in 12 step recovery you know people are sick, so you know what your dealing with. I wish you well on your journey of recovery in 2024
@JuliaShalomJordan
@JuliaShalomJordan Жыл бұрын
Love these teachings so much. God bless u.❤
@cyrusfreeman9972
@cyrusfreeman9972 3 ай бұрын
How can I better be there for my kids when I am absolutely shattered? I don't feel like they are getting what they need from me...
@tarynadams7817
@tarynadams7817 Ай бұрын
Get help, Dow your work and be honest with them to their capacity what you are going through. Kids are amazing people. Break the chains! God Bless you!! I’m doing it too!!
@ruthsnyder1020
@ruthsnyder1020 2 жыл бұрын
I have never used the "clip feature" on here before. I used it twice to make 2 different 15 second clips. I clipped 2 sentences from this video where u said becoming one doesn't need to include a marriage ceremony and entitled them "Marriage?". Also, I have shared many of your videos to some groups on Facebook for people recovering from toxic relationships and narcissistic abuse. I hope they get watched because they are quite helpful.
@yellowdayz1800
@yellowdayz1800 2 ай бұрын
Thank you. I am saving mine in a file to download and listen while driving. ❤
@charrioll7009
@charrioll7009 2 жыл бұрын
connection is everything - i need to replace the disturbing connection with my mother and replace that with more healthy regulated people thanks
@ariadne6104
@ariadne6104 11 ай бұрын
Yes you do. Currently doing that myself
@user-bn2st5kx8h
@user-bn2st5kx8h Ай бұрын
​@@ariadne6104me to .I m trying .considering I felt she was my only purpose in life its been extremely hard especially combined with the grief of several betrayals
@NATALIEKING1976
@NATALIEKING1976 2 жыл бұрын
Appreciate you. Thank you for the education
@artandculture5262
@artandculture5262 2 жыл бұрын
If your parents suck, your life is terrible. Excellent.
@arthurnorton284
@arthurnorton284 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for your work, and that's all I can say right now.
@scouthmk2312
@scouthmk2312 7 ай бұрын
Thank you Tim
@eecneihappy
@eecneihappy 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you ❤ Tim
@JoshPaterson
@JoshPaterson Жыл бұрын
Amazing content. Thanks Tim!
@truthministry7462
@truthministry7462 4 ай бұрын
Powerful
@beverlycampbell2277
@beverlycampbell2277 Жыл бұрын
I am finding much value in these lessons and I thank you for the time and anointing that produced these, however, I am a recovering closet addict and prefer not connecting with people; what advice do you have for those like me?
@wandadrees6384
@wandadrees6384 7 ай бұрын
Can a step mom repair the damage done by the biological mother when the daughter is a teen?
@hughjanis6439
@hughjanis6439 7 ай бұрын
This guy is amazing.
@anthonyiacobucci3652
@anthonyiacobucci3652 Жыл бұрын
Tim, what do you think about the new psychedelic therapies on the horizon? For reliving childhood feelings and memories? Seems to be very promising.
@waynewells1958
@waynewells1958 2 жыл бұрын
I do the abandonment issues and don't know how to trust and ended up I'm relationship with a women who had parents but doesn't know how to love or deal with someone who has so much trauma. And expects me to give get attention like she got with 2 parents to 1 child ratio. Total miscommunication and most understanding. She can't relate or know how to handle someone so traumatic.
@ariadne6104
@ariadne6104 11 ай бұрын
Look up anxious and avoidant attachment
@OR65693
@OR65693 8 ай бұрын
16:56 A poorly attached child's demand for attention is not "excessive".
@JaneHobby-zm3fg
@JaneHobby-zm3fg Ай бұрын
What about the wedding in Jesus and the Apostles attended?
@Kuruflower
@Kuruflower 2 жыл бұрын
Wow, I'm 60 and not felt that.
@litrugia
@litrugia 12 күн бұрын
Too bad I can’t find a community to form deep connections and friendships with…..
@yamicanada
@yamicanada Жыл бұрын
💕💕💕
@OGpostaldude
@OGpostaldude 2 ай бұрын
I'm gonna have to politely disagree on conflating trauma with people exploring other religions, alternative fashion, or enjoying horror. Negatively judging those things as "evil" or "dark sided" is rather harmful for a licensed psychologist to say, ngl. In fact, being comfortable with and reintegrating your "shadow" is really important. I used to repress my interest in horror, thinking it was a bad thing. I'm the happiest I've ever been since I quit holding myself back from harmless interests. Witchcraft, horror, and goth/alt cultures aren't inherently harmful. If anyone is reading this: Do not repress yourself from your harmless interests! It is ok to love horror, fake gore, spooky art, spooky fashion, or other religions. None of that is gonna mess up your healing journey! It may even be part of your self-discovery! Love what you love and embrace your passions in life.
@song4mozart
@song4mozart 21 сағат бұрын
This 13:00
@mu47470
@mu47470 4 ай бұрын
Oh it got cut off at the end😢
@ruthsnyder1020
@ruthsnyder1020 2 жыл бұрын
"The Bible never tells you to have a marriage ceremony it just tells you to 'become one' " and that is repeated in The Bible several times..."Leave your father and mother and become one".
@aishanusoul
@aishanusoul Ай бұрын
Meee....adhd
@surindaarchuleta9088
@surindaarchuleta9088 4 жыл бұрын
Hi
@JanGroh
@JanGroh 8 ай бұрын
OMG this! I came for the complex trauma and attachment disorder splainer, but stayed for the deconstruction of fundamentalist patriarchal Christianity 😉
@mattng4707
@mattng4707 2 ай бұрын
I avoid parents at all cost
@cosmiccarebear6922
@cosmiccarebear6922 2 жыл бұрын
I disagree with his theory on being able only to connect to one of two things 1. Activities 2. Drugs .... I connected with animals and I'm sure there are several other ways people have found to cope with lack of love in childhood that are more healthy then this guy gives us credit for. Lol After all, we are SURVIVORS. Some of us found different ways to do that....
@AllIn1Studio
@AllIn1Studio 2 жыл бұрын
TIM is helping folks discover the REASONS for their dysfunction, showing how and why negative coping skills developed. I think pets are a given in human connectivity. Connection with Nature in general …wild animals, birds, horses etc are vitally important, I agree that they come naturally. He’s so busy sharing the insights he has found that he’s not going to list cuddling bunny rabbits etc. He is doing his best with the topic at hand. He is a very generous, knowledgeable, wise person who is on a passionate mission to share all he knows to help people find inner peace and healing from a traumatic past that has crusty residue that has to be chipped away, dysfunctional habits peeled back to fall away and leave a lighter, happy, functional you! Animals teach us unconditional love and how to listen.
@DavidCooper-dm9cz
@DavidCooper-dm9cz 18 күн бұрын
I totally understand that kind of connection with animals but it can only go so far. Trying to apply unconditional love towards another person is difficult but necessary.
@janethomas78
@janethomas78 Жыл бұрын
your channel causes the most hacking attempts on my iPhone....?
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