TOP r/FACEPALM OF ALL TIME

[@battadia]

"I've been a lost cause since age 8, I don't give a crap." Genuinely inspiring life quote.

[@naikoruu_]

agreed

[@JamesJohnson-rm4cs]

Agreed

[@AZlumpbox]

I've been a lost cause since I was born

[@AZlumpbox]

I don't care

[@miizuakiya]

ive been a lost cause since 4 because i played minecraft creative in reception Send help

[@eddiefirstenberg1000]

One time, my aunt told my sister that she doesn't believe in medicine. That's not even the worst part. Her husband has cancer, so medicine is what's keeping him alive. That's still not even the worst part. My sister is a nursing major. My aunt told her niece who's learning how to work in a medical field that she doesn't believe in the thing that's keeping her husband alive.

[@silliestgooberintheworld]

Ah yes, Something that’s clearly keeping her husband alive is obviously fake and not real. Yeah, great logic auntie, better get a Nobel prize!

[@graceslagle9240]

Oh man, wishes for your poor uncle. Cancer sucks. Hope he makes it through

[@floseatyard8063]

Get you'd aunt some mental help, and I hope your uncle is ok

[@zinc2zinc2]

Hope your uncle gets better. Maybe your aunt means, she is disapointed that medicine doesnt CURE cancer but only treats it? not sure. maybe there was a mistake in translation. or maybe your Aunt is just weird.

[@professorbraindead2951]

Maybe she was devastated by the fact that her husband will probably die, and she started losing her sanity? I wish best to You and Your uncle.

[@devastation3395]

fun fact: fish CAN drown. They breath oxygen just like us, but in the water, so if theres no excess oxygen in the water, they would drown. Edit: To all who keep saying hydrogen, I meant excess oxygen in h2o, there is still oxygen in water, but there can be a lack of excess.

[@thetruebread7284]

that's called suffocating

[@fverheus]

Yeah they dont drown from breathing in water. They suffocate as mentioned above.

[@Themanofstupid]

actually bow tha makes sebse

[@godofthegolems3886]

R/wtfmoment

[@chichoy7086]

this is taking, "sorry i couldn't do homework my fish drowned" to a whole new level.

[@annierebeccaa]

I like how at 54:54, Jack attempts and pronounces every word in the sentence but forgot to cut that take before re-recording and saying “I’m not even gonna attempt to say that”

[@jonahalmirol622]

28:14 For those who don't know, he was holding a blue ringed octopus, one of the most deadly sea creatures

[@bubbasaurus759]

ikr

[@incredibox_lover]

Eat it for a free trip to heaven

[@ayoutubechannle4411]

As a kid if we even saw one of these things our parents would drag us outta there like a bat outta hell because mom lost a sis cause of one.

[@rekietabeatslc9980]

Venom is 1000x more toxic than cyanide, blue rings become visible when it feels threatened 😳 (no recent deaths from it reported so poster survived encounter)

[@John-hg8es]

It intstantly kills anything

[@superdr1120]

These are pretty funny, people should make a dedicated thread on a website or app for people to post this kind of stuff

[@australianman47]

Waiting for a wooosh

[@luckysniper1659]

Reading is for losers. Lol

[@Oriryo]

I know right? A subreddit of this sounds good too!

[@kkisadorabubble]

I bet it would be the best thing since sliced bread

[@frozenburst64]

Yeah that would be cool... Wait a minute!

[@ExoAether]

the surgery story was because that surgery was done before anesthesia was invented, so the quality of a surgery was determined not by how well it was performed, rather how fast it was done. As a quick surgery would mean less pain for the patient. Doctors would often throw care completely out the window in order to speedrun a surgery so the patient didn't have to lay there in agony sliced open on the operating table.

[@jidrawzstuff]

is it me or do i know this from somewhere

[@directrix777shinyshinyamyt4]

@@jidrawzstuff You certainly do now!~

[@sutirthjha4539]

Speedrunning other people's life(real)

[@eeelorde9962]

@@sutirthjha4539 (i falied!)

[@kallixo]

surgeon simulator any%

[@EvanGhostboy]

(9:39) for those who don't understand, look where the graph is and look at the number of subscribers. The top says 0, 100, 200, 500, 1,000, 2,000, and 3,000. The subscriber count is in the millions.

[@Zogolith]

Also, because PewDiePie has 98 million subscribers and is right next to Markiplier who had 24 million subscribers

[@ebreshea1337]

bro by that logic, pewdiepie would have 1.7 billion subscribers, not 98 million. And markiplier would have 1.25 billion. Even if it was in hundreds of thousands instead of millions, that would be closer, but still wrong. Not only is the measurement not specified, it's on some weird semi-exponential scale up until it reaches 1000, after which it becomes linear. And the bars are not to scale whatsoever. That whole graph is nonsense.

[@y0yle_st4rz..27]

hey, i said that too!! (im not saying you stole, im just saying we said the same thing)

[@thatTesstyBish]

"Dinosaurs weren't killed by an asteroid, they died of overhunting by humans." -My Stepmother

[@yahelgamer32]

Well tbh if dinasours were still around we will be hunting them to extinction

[@1000-THR]

@@yahelgamer32 Granados karanadalas!!!!! 😡😡😡😡😡😡

[@Abstract_zx]

many evolution-deniers actually believe that humans and dinosaurs coexisted at one point

[@Speedfly1]

@@Abstract_zx How could caveman draw dinosours on the walls if the never saw one?? not like they had fotos or a coloring book, back then.

[@IceNineThrills]

@@Speedfly1 no, but I'm sure they found remnants of those dinosaurs. Ask I scientist or something.

[@moonlight7137]

i love how Damien cracks himself up. Makes these videos a thousand times better :)

[@touchofgrey5830]

He laughs at his own jokes. I mean it makes it better but it’s not right, I’m not telling him to stop though

[@AlPootis]

@@touchofgrey5830 better than robin getting whooooshed in some other vids

[@soldiernumberx8921]

It’s fake he have it in script

[@tobitheweirdgerman230]

@@touchofgrey5830 still dont fully get what the problem is if you laugh at your own joke I mean arent you supposed to laugh at jokes. But eh just my opinion ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@XiaolinDraconis]

I bet 4 Aussie bux that he didn't realize what the problem was at 13:10 oh hey look there's a hashtag. 100% positive most of these go over both of their heads. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if their own comments have been featured and they laughed at themselves without realizing it. I enjoy both laughing with and at them.

[@aboldone8205]

It took me 19 minutes to realize this isn't just a normal r/facepalm video, this is top of all time

[@dmk12345]

The title gave it away.

[@trevor93939jhxgeyeuejnrnfjdise]

r/facepalm

[@karelsimek5871]

@@trevor93939jhxgeyeuejnrnfjdise r/robuxmantakemebythehand

[@henryhartin2733]

i honestly didnt see that until you pointed it out

[@karelsimek5871]

@@henryhartin2733 r/amongushentai

[@creatorglitch]

19:46 according to google: Goofy is an American cartoon character created by the Walt Disney Company. He is a tall, anthropomorphic dog who typically wears a turtle neck and vest, with pants, shoes, white gloves, and a tall hat originally designed as a rumpled fedora.

[@DinoRicky]

Yeah Hi MD fan :)

[@johannsanchocuevas7854]

​@@DinoRickyHi Murder Drones fan. We are uniting :3

[@noahbarger1]

"That's the largest piece of wood I've ever seen in my life." Trees: "Am I a joke to you?"

[@brumode1944]

elon proceeds to smite trishas account off of twitter for not knowing who he is

[@Loaf_ve]

@@Just-water778 wood trees

[@paradoxinvader5051]

@@Loaf_ve Tf is a wood tree?

[@superk9letsplays419]

@@paradoxinvader5051 a tree made out of wood

[@luvbusy2602]

keyword: Piece not a whole tree

[@annacraft3939]

I was asked by my friend with a straight face "Is Africa a state?" In advanced social studies, I've never let her forget it to this day

[@ironlisa7s]

Lol

[@FractalPrism.]

answer: it is if you dont mind.

[@seedrid]

One time someone told me “one day I wanna go to the beautiful country of Paris😍”

[@jeanmcleod940]

@@seedrid oh

[@skarlsboroughworkshops6826]

My friend said Russia is in Australia..

[@audreygo1828]

I learn something new about EmKay every day. Two days ago I learned that Lexi is an IT engineer (because I kinda don't watch their videos in order), yesterday I learned that Robin took Japanese classes in high school, and today I learned that Damien used to work in the resteraunt buisness.

[@SphereSquared]

Peoxppp

[@audreygo1828]

@@SphereSquared Huh?

[@SphereSquared]

@@audreygo1828 I was running and I think somehow I pocket commented this I don’t know how, but It happened

[@ryder3145]

yesterday i learned lexi was trans, i had not know that earlier.

[@xxcr-ativityxx9044]

56:42 For those wondering, yes, cats **can** have mints as long as they dont experience diarrhea or vomiting. However, the leaves of the plant are toxic - including ones made for cooking and garnish. Giving your cat a candy cane or mint life saver is fine. Keep it away from the plant leaves.

[@Chunky_doggo]

Damien sometimes radiates the same asshole energy as TF2's scout P.S. jack, as an australian i can easily say that we speak differently enough for it to be its own language

[@rua5910]

never thought of it that way but now i cant get it out of my head

[@CultReport]

Same could be said about the Irish accent

[@muquilord]

L o l

[@maxwell_the_cat69]

As an australian i get the 2nd part

[@ultrapro76thegamer21]

I'd call english a type of language and australian, US and english(those in england) etc. However, it would make only a slight convienience.

[@FunSizeSpamberguesa]

Dumbest thing I've ever heard was a guy in high school who said, "Man, how did people get the news before TV was invented?" This was the 90s, when newspapers were still incredibly common, and this guy was 16 or 17.

[@administratory2434]

im gonna miss this guy

[@denverarnold6210]

Not to mention radio and, before that, those morse code machines transcribed onto newspapers for non-local news.

[@denverarnold6210]

@Mateusz Abramczyk they'll also ask "what's a floppy disk" when you point to a save icon, or "what's a tree" when you point to paper.

[@justafox9773]

I've always wondered: does the W on the tennis racet is just the M in m and n's?

[@DacLMK]

If few decades (or even now), expect this to hear: "Man, hod did people get their news before the internet was invented?"

[@johannasweet1120]

You know what I just had one of these moments earlier in the week with my sister. Our house has three floors (ground, second, and a basement) and the second floor tends to get really hot. Her room is on the second floor. It’s been unusually hot in her room compared to even the rest of the second floor for a while. She complained about it to our mother who then asked her to check if her (floor) vent is open. My sister said “I can’t check it because I have a bunch of stuff piled on top of it.” After watching my mother die inside for what felt like an eternity, I yelled in frustration “then get the shit off your vent!!” She did, found that her vent was also shut, opened it, and was absolutely amazed the next day by how well it cooled her room. She even said “maybe that was the problem!” as if she had a eureka moment.

[@kirstenspencer529]

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[@chaoticglitched]

…wow I am laughing my ass off right now

[@Sir_Kat]

That's so sad. I send my regards and hope she will live to the age of 40

[@jacelacey2162]

It was so long I almost lost interest

[@Gusenichka925]

@Jace Lacey your attention span so short tiktok feels like a math lesson to you

[@T.S.G_TV]

(53:40) Jack: "I gaurentee both of them are under 17" Literally their pfp being their wedding photo

[@durpydino1074]

I love how Damien is always happy as a clown here, and then robin is just over here losing his shit.

[@I-am-moderately-stupid]

I have never heard the phrase "happy as a clown" and quite frankly I hope I never have to again

[@durpydino1074]

@@I-am-moderately-stupid Oh really, would it make you... HAPPY AS A CLOWN?

[@I-am-moderately-stupid]

@@durpydino1074 I hope I never hear again after that.

[@NootandBoots]

Meanwhile jack: what a T R A D E G Y

[@durpydino1074]

@@NootandBoots Y E P

[@blademaster2390]

4:48 Jokes aside, can we all collectively acknowledge the fact that the meme isnt just a facepalm, but also technically the truth? Cause the cosplayer was _literally_ dressed as a NCR Ranger from Fallout New Vegas

[@thiagogonzalesgoswitz8918]

And also r/crappydesign

[@somethingstrangeallorracairns]

I live in grande Prairie Alberta, i have once seen a lady squat down and just scream in public

[@elhazthorn918]

At work some old woman in the baking aisle asked me to help her find the flour. So I pointed to the bag of flour in front of her face. She says "No! That's the WHEAT flour, I need regular flour!" When I asked her what grain "regular" flour is made out of, she went silent. Edit: Also, honorary mention to the old man who had to clarify whether rock sugar was sweet or not.

[@BogWarThunder]

Humans☕...

[@plague_doctor-scp-049]

i bet her brain was as smooth as a tiktokers brain XD

[@sorathespiritwolf5905]

​@@plague_doctor-scp-049 nahh she straight up had a TikTokers brain

[@plague_doctor-scp-049]

@@sorathespiritwolf5905 true tho

[@VERYSTUPID2386]

ahh yes not wheat flour i dont want that no i need the meat flour

[@yashnachattree7214]

29:02 My french teacher once gave me a black and white exam paper and one of the questions was “What colour is this flower?” and she scolded us because we didn’t know that it was yellow

[@andistansbury4366]

Apparently she doesn't know anything except french.

[@QueenCheetah]

I once informed my dad that I (believe) he has ADHD. His response? "I got it from you!" ...this is the same man who once needed my help removing some squirrel poop from my mom's vehicle upholstery before she noticed.

[@bhoot6311]

suddenly ADHD is contagious

[@barneymiller7894]

Wtf happened to the squirrel?

[@QueenCheetah]

@@barneymiller7894 Dad had this bright idea that he could stop squirrels from coming into our yard and destroying stuff by trapping and releasing them in another town- kinda like trying to clear a beach one grain of sand at a time.

[@nameless......................]

suddenly, idiocy

[@barneymiller7894]

I think you meant: Suddenly! Squirrel feces!

[@Lexthefazworker]

39:44 I don' think damien realised it but, they're just holding it upside down.

[@jessi6431]

😊

[@Preppy_Glisten]

So it’s supposed to say “Emoh”?

[@chleb69]

​@@Preppy_Glistenyou know that you can turn in more directions than 1 right?

[@bug.mortuary]

@@Preppy_Glisten …. I can’t tell if this is ironic or not

[@person831]

@@Preppy_Glisten are you trolling? please tell me you're trolling. I will actually cry if you aren't

[@Tomith]

Damien´s laugh is so good. I have a friend who laughs in a similar manner, mostly over his own knowingly bad jokes or stupid random stuff and it´s heaven.

[@Flauviexxo]

“A sinkhole roughly the size of six to seven washing machines-“

[@scarox93]

9:52 Not only are the intervals at the top scaled very very wrong but the distance between 22 mil and 24 mil is the same from 24 mil to 98 mil. Which is most def not how that works.

[@Firan25]

Ok I see that. Here I thought the facepalm was about how pewdiepie has 98 mil in the first place. :p

[@Heathen.Deity.]

Oh come on! We all know that 1.75m is really just the same as 74.25m. 😜

[@JoshSweetvale]

No kidding. Any other amazing revelations that 7th graders could explain?

[@user-tb7ml8kz7h]

these bars are shown on a logarithmic scale, which means that +1 on this scale equals to 10x higher value. It mainly is used to show both very big and very small values at the same time.

[@D-D-DAKI]

Just look up

[@Phoenix-uy9jl]

i love how every single clip of damian ends in uncontrollable laughter. the best part is most of the t8me hes laughing about his own jokes and comments.

[@tonidufrene5845]

t8me?

[@malakaicross1091]

@@tonidufrene5845 it's pronounced teightme

[@LowEffortContent-]

@@tonidufrene5845 t9me

[@wigley7610]

time*

[@airycanon]

@@tonidufrene5845 Yes.

[@Fiasco4yuh]

Im so used to hearing Lubalin sing the “attorney general” thing that I resorted to singing it myself 😂

[@enix48]

Same lol can't unhear it

[@fa1ry_du5t-old]

This was this horse isn't from England

[@Fiasco4yuh]

@@fa1ry_du5t-old k buddy

[@Sleve-McDichael]

@@fa1ry_du5t-old you sure don't know everything about a horse, hunny!

[@avag7856]

SLAAAYY ME TOOOOO

[@UnreliableArsonist]

My youngest brother was talking to me about biology (or something about animals), and he said “birds are birds, not animals.” Let me tell you that would make me so angry for no good reason, I spent an hour arguing with him (I had some good points) but the only defense, or even reason he could come up with is repeating “birds are birds.” I don’t know why I even bothered at that point. It still annoys me to this day.

[@judgementbird2248]

17:25 Actually, fun fact, they can. If the water a fish is swimming in becomes devoid of oxygen, a fish can drown in water.

[@ryder3145]

not devoid, just lacking in, and hypoxia dosent usually happen in that circumstance.

[@timmy-s4c]

actually the fish would suffocate cause fish don't drown

[@TheWagonroast]

Id it becomes devoid of oxygen, it just just be pure hydrogen, so…

[@ryder3145]

@@TheWagonroast it wouldnt be pure but youre correct

[@RandomDucc-sj8pd]

@@TheWagonroastah yes, because goldfish are capable of performing electrolysis inside water

[@aidenrose6188]

Fun fact: looking through binoculars backwards is a technique used for tracking animals in some places.

[@Kam_Uncommon]

If this is true now I know

[@unknownpizzashop3821]

I think it is plausible. It makes sense to me.

[@idkanymore5066]

Thank you

[@painkillerjones6232]

How?

[@aidenrose6188]

@@painkillerjones6232 it gives them a focal point, kind of like tunnel vision. It blocks outside information from reaching their eyes.

[@Memerastral4564]

"I want your car to blow up" that's the best thing I've heard today

[@sharonyoung4277]

Correct. 🗿🍷

[@Frosted.Donut.Holes_]

Once a few years age I was at school in math class we were talking about fractions and one of my friends said “you can’t divide 1/9 in half” I said “ yes you can its 1/18” she started arguing with me that you can’t divide 1/9 in half, I wonder if she learned anything from that argument

[@Redacted_Theorist]

GUYS, NEVER CUT 1/9 OF A SANDWICH IN HALF. IT WILL END THE WORLD!!!11!!!1!!😱😱😱

[@Abitscrewycreations]

I was about to have a fucking heart attack wondering if Goofy was actually supposed to be a cow and he is, in fact, an anthropomorphic dog. I can now rest easily.

[@pirobot668beta]

Cows have lower teeth, but no uppers.

[@shwahgamer]

What could have happened here is that the person got confused between Goofy and another older Disney character named Clarabelle Cow. She's not used much anymore, but she is a cow, and has a similar body type to Goofy. They must have thought Goofy was a cow too.

[@ゼフィ]

"you cant just grab a fresh cup of oj and go yum right into the femoral artery". HELP i CANT STOP LAUGHING, the way he said it was perfect.

[@KensNotReal]

That exact checkers thing happened to me and my sister when we were kids. They had one at our pediatricians office. My older sister insisted this was how it was set up, she would NOT believe me (pre-smart phones to google it and show her), so I eventually gave up was like, "yeah, let's play like this and see what happens." After a little while of not playing checkers, she realized she was doing it wrong.

[@cheezytoxins8652]

I had to basically teach my entire family how to play checkers properly.

[@zadynhopkins6920]

i dont even know whats wrong with the checkers board cause I've never played checkers and its really making me mad

[@ragingfirefrog]

@@zadynhopkins6920 To take pieces, you have to jump diagonally over your opponent's piece. You can't do that if they are on different colors. The pieces are all supposed to be on one color. Personally, I like chess a lot more, though I haven't played it in a while.

[@DaydreamerEnfield]

Literally nobody ever told me this isn’t how you set up a checkers board…I literally played with the board like that my whole life and nobody ever told me that’s not how you play lol

[@zadynhopkins6920]

@@ragingfirefrog thanks

[@JKTuber10]

2:18 I like to think this is an attempt to ruin a shop’s reputation with the logic of, “We put the S in comfort!” “There’s… no S in comfort.” *Exactly*

[@araigumakiruno]

they put the **S** in Stupid at least

[@feyfolken1655]

The "cat mint" question wasn't that stupid actually. Some cats (like mine) go CRAZY over peppermints and any minty smells so I've always wondered if they were harmful also.

[@monroerobbins7551]

I actually did some googling; a rare mint flavored thing is ok, just not in large doses. It’s the mint *flavoring* that may risk your cat getting sick. But do NOT let your cat eat any actual mint plants, it has chemical compounds in the plant itself that will harm your cat. Also, it’s because catnip and peppermint are in the same family of plants, so cats are attracted to the mint smell and go nuts.

[@jace9318]

omg I love your account name and prp

[@that_scene_kid3]

@@jace9318 idk what a prp is but i think u mean pfp

[@jace9318]

@@that_scene_kid3 yeah, but she changed it, also thanks for catching my error

[@shanemorehead2958]

The mint is related to catnip!

[@KaiyaCorrbin]

What I find really funny is neither EmKay nor the person holding the "home" sign realized that they were holding it upside down and backwards...all they had to do flip it over and around and it would have been correct. xDDD The H, O, and E in that type font have horizontal symmetry.

[@toshirokardevaand2772]

Or just flip it vertically to do that in one move.

[@apocalypstic]

THANK YOU! That oddly bothered me and I came to the comments to see if anyone else caught that.

[@madnessmax2407]

@@apocalypstic I second that

[@MothGodSpectreDXIX]

I feel dumb cuz I needed to rewind the video and realize that 😂

[@CrAziAngel]

Literally paused at 39:45 and went right to the comments, trying to see if sb else seen it too😂

[@loveleedesigns]

0:37 “..and also those games which are in the age limit of your child” Never knew Mario could cause irl violence /sarcasm

[@vybepokemon6044]

1st off I’m sorry about the sex bots. 2nd off. Turtles

[@ZanderStrom10]

Should I be concerned about the future of KZbin?

[@vybepokemon6044]

@@ZanderStrom10 yes.

[@Tw0Dots]

@@ZanderStrom10 You’re a bit late there, lol. YT has been doomed for a long time

[@zipzapzop1704]

@@Tw0Dots we all knew it would end like this.... and it always will.

[@sh4rkzxz]

31:27 taco: obviously a soft taco Damien: was it a hard taco or a soft taco

[@bagelcatinator8243]

3:36 when he said “hey honey, pop out a couple more” I imagined someone shooting babies out rapid fire like a machine gun

[@deltoid77-nick]

I was expecting this to be a 10-minute video never looking at the time index. At 26 minutes is when I knew something was wrong.

[@MothGodSpectreDXIX]

Same but at 36 for me lol Didn’t even realize

[@jackhazard7823]

For me it was when I heard Damiens voice

[@bryanlemmens68]

32:27 i just wanted to comment until i noticed it

[@Frostfern94]

31:12 for me

[@Frostfern94]

@@bryanlemmens68 I’m actually at that exact bit right now

[@samuelmorris2450]

"-Door open, cuz you can't see out your mirror..." - Damien, talking about a guy who can't see out of his windshield. Timestamp: 35:50

[@stefiadminking]

"That's a small boulder the size of a big boulder." *-Damien from EmKay*

[@redacted8432]

9:31 this is the problem; While Jack’s numbers are ~2,000,000 short of Mark’s, it shows a distance. That distance, however, is the exact same distance as between Mark’s and Pewdiepie’s, while Marks is ~54,000,000 as apposed to ~Jack’s 2,000,000 short of Mark. The other problem shown on this image is that the line Jack is barely crossing is the 1,000 line.

[@CraftingTableMC]

r/beatmetoit

[@nightytime]

@@CraftingTableMC r/ihavereddit

[@Yawyna124]

@@nightytime ...you're on a reddit video and are being snarky that people are making reddit references.

[@nightytime]

@@Yawyna124 r/shutup

[@Yawyna124]

@@nightytime r/ihavereddit

[@bigfootadmirer8627]

51:13 I can not stop laughing at how aggressive he gets only to announce Garfield has joined Reddit

[@AkaiSenkouXD]

39:47 cant tell if Damien was laughing at how OP took the picture with the sign upside down or if he thought the M was attached upside down.

[@michellepoe3680]

Yo same

[@kneegrow3592]

Nah I was like is op serious rn, they got it upside down

[@julianthomas6362]

I was about to comment the same thing

[@mr.nobody8270]

Fucking same, my guy

[@stefanfansub485]

Same

[@ButWhyWasTaken]

6:00 because we all know that being a doctor online makes you so very smart and _special..._

[@madison8669]

Here's an example of something stupid someone said: Damien: (while looking at what is OBVIOUSLY a soft taco) was it a soft or hard taco

[@crystalspence7767]

I wanted to say the same thing!!!

[@VictoriaMarch13]

@@crystalspence7767 me too 🤣

[@dirty56ace]

😂😂😂 wait , he doesn't see the whole taco sitting there 😂😂

[@KokichiAndNagitosCombinedMinds]

My thoughts exactly when he said that

[@haku8135]

@@dirty56ace Yeah, I just thought "You can see the taco man, it's not like cracked or SHATTERED like something crunchy slammed into a book normally is..... Not that you should be slamming anything crunchy into books, you monster.

[@noteleks1713]

1:02:05 fun fact, it can actually damage your bladder in a way if you hold your urine in too long

[@Wee_Gee]

These hour long videos are really nice. I watch them while I’m doing homework. Thank you.

[@Cooldud2]

9:33 the face palm is the numbers on the top

[@sylenc6629]

31:30 well, as a german, someone told me that they were sorry for me having such an asshole president. They thought the mustache guy was still alive...

[@apocalypse_ben4465]

Oh 💀💀💀

[@HelluvaMari0Fan]

I feel kinda bad for him, though. He made a masterpiece to get in an art school and the school turned him down.

[@y0yle_st4rz..27]

@@HelluvaMari0Fanyeah, but still he did start a war.

[@HelluvaMari0Fan]

@@y0yle_st4rz..27 And kill 6 million Jewish people.

[@Upbreaker]

Also he isn’t really a president

[@ViridianFlow]

39:43 Not only did the person who took the photo not realise but somehow even Emkay didn't. The sign is fine, flip it over stupid. Emkay, come on now, how did you miss that? That's a face palm for EmKay

[@florendilhobbit2099]

Came Here for this comment. Had to scroll way too far for it.

[@Conceptofcandid4043]

That isn't emkay that is one of the "narrators".

[@ViridianFlow]

@@Conceptofcandid4043 Sure but if you go to McDonald's and they screw up your order, you don't say "Bradley out the back screwed up my order", you say McDonald's did. The narrator are still part of the business.

[@Preppy_Glisten]

But then if you flip it it says “EmoH” because to make it an M you have to flip it upside down

[@ViridianFlow]

​​​​@@Preppy_GlistenIs this sarcastic? Please tell me this is sarcastic. If you flip it lengthways it says "3WOH" not "EmoH", if you flip it over the horizontal it says "HOME". If it's not sarcastic, I'm worried about your spatial reasoning.

[@nic0co]

2:31 i like how out of place eczema is with the other things they listed. (For those wondering, eczema is a skin disorder where your skin is extra-dry, while the others are mental disorders.)

[@remyxsis]

i dunno it feels perfectly in-line with "medical problems that are not contagious" to me

[@Multi_name_guy]

Hello fellow bean

[@nic0co]

@@remyxsis yeah, I guess.

[@billyjim0733]

I have autism and I described it to someone and they said that saying that it was a 'mental disorder' was offensive and that I should call it a 'psychological disorder' like wtf?

[@herrkatzegaming]

obligatory correction: "out of place" not "put of place" if you wrote this on your phone, tell autocorrect to f**k off

[@RoseVerdict]

31:36 One time someone I know IRL was complaining about all the apps that phone makers and service providers cram into phones that take up massive amounts of space and can't actually be uninstalled. As a part of the conversation, I agreed, "Ugh, yeah, I *hate* bloatware-" and he IMMEDIATELY cut me off with "What? No, I'm not talking about whatever bloatware is, I'm talking about system apps you never want or need that take up way too much space and can't get deleted!" Less than 60 seconds later, still on the topic of this particular type of app, he went, "it's like, oh, what's the word...? Ah, right! Bloatware!" Absolutely nobody called him on it, and they looked at me like I was the weird one when I just glared at him.

[@ahmedraza2375]

28:16 for anyone wondering, its called the blue ring octopus and its the deadliest octopus that lives today. it can kill you in a matter of minutes

[@xenoplayz599]

thanks xD

[@KittyChaingun]

Thank you, I was wondering about that.

[@goodusername305]

17:00 i like how both articles say “if he dies” as of he’s some immortal being.

[@RebbecaRat]

OCD isn't too bad. Now if you excuse me I'll go back to deep cleaning my cereal bowl and wondering if my door is locked.

[@christophersavignon4191]

Just get that Bleach cereal, and you can skip the cleaning.

[@plague_doctor-scp-049]

@@christophersavignon4191 hahaha i guess im not the only one who likes murdering people

[@RebbecaRat]

​@@christophersavignon4191 That is very true

[@gswcooper7162]

"Sabrina the Teenage Witch hired this balding man to play a high school student" Oof, that hits personally - I started experiencing hair loss at 14. Yeah, by the time I left school there was already a visible bald patch forming up there... xD

[@f1p1420]

"what is that gonna solve?" "I want your car to blow up" Funniest sudden change ever. I love damien, best narrator ever

[@ethanmoreno5375]

Person: "Are fire extinguishers flammable?" Me: "Dude...what?" Person: "like the thing inside, the foam, is it flammable?"

[@nicktheguy_]

i wonder... truly makes me go HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM THONK

[@sapphiresplash]

Yes, obviously, hence why it's a FIRE extinguisher. (Im joking don't kill me)

[@logankanaley3384]

Bruh

[@JuMiKu]

They have probably heard of them exploding, which does happen on occasion.

[@penguinmaster6854]

Facepalm is one of the best sub Reddits out there. I love these compilations!

[@ozitota1375]

Bruh both the replies are bots

[@balbalofficial8212]

Indeed. U just gotta filter out the garbage. Lots of garbage.

[@ctosiecki]

Back in first grade, I was talking with a couple of friends of mine and I told them about how I never ended up getting my 7th birthday party, and they told me that "I was still six." All because I didn't have a PARTY.

[@Morna777]

Sounds like pretty solid kid logic

[@kaidens5373]

13:15 He really said "forget about taxes" and not "its 4 dollars, not four million"

[@vymston5918]

He also said "the population of Australia is 25 million DOLLARS"

[@FireFoxDestroyer]

He said “forgot about taxes” because $100 million dollars could actually just be used for taxes

[@kaidens5373]

@@FireFoxDestroyerwow ur so smart, can u read #damienmissedthejoke

[@FireFoxDestroyer]

@@kaidens5373 feel free to harass me but for some reason I do not know what the heck this comment thread is

[@teathesilkwing7616]

I think he was joking

[@robbegeusens1302]

Someone once disputed me over me saying that a parent has a big influence on the views of their child. They Claimed to be a therapist.

[@avgcheeseconsumer]

I hope this is satire

[@robbegeusens1302]

@@avgcheeseconsumer it isn't. Whats worse is that she actually has clients.

[@teathesilkwing7616]

Bro. They do. They raise the fucking kid. They are gonna have a big influence on the person they raised.

[@hailirandallwagner3092]

When I was in school, (elementary/primary and in 4th grade) a kid came up to me, who looked around 8, and said, “listen! I can count numbers! One, two, uh, four, six, I never mind.” And walked away. It was great.

[@hailirandallwagner3092]

Also! I was nine.

[@TLOC-Ic_Spades]

The fact that one of the grade six's in my primary school forgot how to count to ten and was like- "one, four- oh flip, I forgot how to count to ten." He was one of my schools school captains btw.

[@Redacted_Theorist]

​@@TLOC-Ic_Spades He just had a rough night man. I forgot how to spell the word have when pronouced (hav-d) like how you'd say it when saying "have to." I then realized it was spelt like the normal have pronouciation after like, 5 minutes trying to figure it out. I was out of it lol.

[@mrlox9576]

Still one of the funniest Emkay vids. 👍

[@sharkpuppetrf468]

As an Australian we technically have our own way of speaking English, just slang 😂

[@willsn1]

This subreddit is REALLY infuriating, because on one hand every time I see a flat-earther I scream like a little girl out of anger, but on the other hand I like this subreddit. :D

[@thegamingjelly1719]

If you still want to know the answer to the 'second question': In a fairly short-term temporary world, a Silk Touch pickaxe isn't really necessary at all. In a long-term permanent world, a Silk Touch pickaxe, while not completely necessary, is an extremely nice QoL tool to have. It lets you pick up whole blocks (erg. Diamond Ore)/the original block (erg. Stone) rather than converting the block into something else (erg. Diamonds or Cobblestone)

[@Goliushi]

29:52 just imagine seeing an 11 year old boy with a broken leg, looking 80 years old, and with a pregnant belly using his crutches to approach you 💀

[@brayden2983]

31:49 So You'd expect that a 6th grade teacher that Teaches 2 subjects would be even slightly intelligent, Right. My 6th grade Social Studies Teacher was not. One day, near the start of the year, she went over the way maps work. She went over the Map legend and how to read it and went though the text book to give examples. Half way through the class, she put a map on the projector and asked us questions about the map features. (Exactly Quoting what She said Word for word) "So, this a Map of the Rain fall in Australia. In the Map Legend, as you see, the purple colors represent heavier Rain fall over the past 5 years," "The Lighter Green color represents less rain fall than the areas in purple." "Now, this is a thematic map, meaning it is not an exact parallel to real life. If you were to get a satellite view, it would not look like this. It is Colored like this for the theme of the map. The Parts outside of the colored part is not colored in because they are not the main focus of the map." She then trailed off but came back to the map again, "Now, again, can anyone tell me why these islands to the north and west are not colored in?" *I raise My hand* : Because They are not the main focus of the map. (Said islands was Indonesia) The teacher responded: "No You are Wrong. It is because they are deserts. All of the islands are Deserts and so they are colored like this." "Australia is a Bright Rain Forest, these islands to the north are absolute deserts with no Fertility" Less than 40 seconds Earlier she had said the colors did not represent the actual things on the map. That the colors do not mean that is what the places look like. "This is a thematic Map" She said. Moreover, a Teacher had said "No, You are Wrong" to a student - for answering the asked question - and was supposedly wrong because the teacher was stupid. Later that year in her second subject, a class which I also was in, she was proven a terrible teacher again. I'm not going to go into detail because this comment is long enough, but I nearly got detention for, on a worksheet which you had to color in a little picture. It was a little Indian Tribal Amulet thing I think. For a moment, just as she was walking by to inspect students' work, I rotated my coloring movement from left to right to up and down. Stopping me that moment, Standing up Tall and Speaking loudly to the class more than it was to me: "You do not color in Different Directions, Brayden! You Color in ONE Direction only. I will have you stay after class if you make idiotic mistakes like this again." So that is the My example of when someone did something so Astonishingly Stupid That I will never Forget.

[@Mafferman]

My 5th grade science teacher was going over a multiple choice questions and said "ok so the answer is D, producers get their energy from small mammals and insects" (I ended up correcting her and she acted like I was the smartest person in the world) In fact she gave random people candy because they did the exact same thing as every other person in the entire class.

[@knittingnana2939]

I had a moron for a neighbor who would come up with gems like "he wanted to have his cake and ice cream too", she called stucco "stuckle". But the stupidest thing she said to me was this gem: "I was 21 before I realized that we live on top of the earth instead of inside it" Supposedly, she actually went to college. I actually sold my house and moved to get away from her.

[@roadwarrior114]

What the flippin heck man.

[@Naoise012]

For the record, Guinness never gave anyone the world record for "darkest skin tone."

[@infelulmeu4494]

I think we all know what would happen

[@bluesteel1664]

Wrong, it did happen and the winner wore it with pride

[@bluesteel1664]

@@Naoise012 then how tf did they get the photo?

[@bluesteel1664]

Hol up I studied the thing your right Photoshop

[@rilynnmillerr6357]

Still doesn't make it racist. If they don't recognize it, people will call it racist, if you do recognize it, again, it will be called racist. You mention skin tone at all, and people freak out. I fucking hate society.

[@Random_Videos_Com]

31:52 One of my old friends said that when the stop hand thing on the walk sign at stop lights flash, it means you have to stop and go repeatedly.

[@mile-.-1069]

As a Chilean, I can clearly state that this happens every now and then. Imagine their shock when they realize it’s a country.

[@SkunkApe407]

As an American, I apologize for my countrymen.

[@37thraven]

@@SkunkApe407 As a Canadian, you give me hope fren I could go for a big steaming bowl of Chile tho. Yum! 😋 😂

[@SkunkApe407]

@@37thraven funny thing is, we use the Tex-Mex spelling of "chili" for the dish, and people still forget or don't realize that Chilé is a nation. They aren't even pronounced the same way. I would say I don't get it, but these are the same people that think Taco Bell is Mexican food.

[@37thraven]

@@SkunkApe407 lol very aware of texmex tropes There's many jokes about how americans dont _need_ to know about other countries, as well as a few about how Canadians (leafs) are very snarky about it :P But yeah: [chih lee] vs [chee lay] I love my Chiléan designer friends! :) Lovely people

[@Fenrir90918]

Oh god , I almost asked where chilean was before realizing that you’re talking about Chile , wow

[@Reman1975]

The milk thing reminded me of my 2 nephews when they were very young. They didn't make the connection between the food "Chicken" being the same type of thing as the chickens I keep in the garden. As mine have always been more like pets, I've never been able to bring myself to eat any of them when they've died (The gardens got a little "Chicken graveyard" area deep in one of the flower boarders. 😕), so the nephews didn't ever see that whole "Field to plate" thing, and didn't join the dots until it came up at school......... That's when they both became vegetarian for a couple weeks ! 😆

[@kiverix]

When Robin said "parlez vous français ?" i was happy that one of the narrators have a pretty good French accent, as a french man. GG Robin da bank and keep being cool:)

[@Pixy_Dust1]

I was talking with a friend a while back, and they brought up the flat-round earth debate, and she said "If the earth is round, wouldn't we be smaller? Than if it was flat?"

[@joshuapattee2905]

Not jack genuinely wondering if you still need silk touch if you have different enchants 😂

[@Cinesta76]

I was waiting for a bus a while ago and got into a conversation with a couple of other people. We were talking about different things and the subject of fertility came up. One of them said "I wonder if infertility is hereditary". I just started looking at the timetable to see how long I had to wait. I honestly didn't know what to say.

[@Cinesta76]

@@sithlord6119 We are talking about someone that was in their 50s and had said her dad was infertile since before she was born but she had 2 children. And yes, unless there was some sort of agreement between her parents like Orlando Bloom's parents, he mum had an affair and she was the result.

[@raziel710]

@@Cinesta76 Granted the woman from your story is dumb as a rock if she was wondering if her "father's" infertility could be passed to her but it could have been a valid question without that context. An example being an uncle or aunt being infertile that could be a recessive gene in the family that they would need to be concerned about.

[@Cinesta76]

@@raziel710 That would be understandable but she said her father. She never mentioned any other family members.

[@wizardsuth]

Some types of infertility might be inherited. For example a recessive allele might only cause infertility in those who have two copies of it, or a defect on the X chromosome might cause infertility only in males who inherit it, allowing females to pass it on to their offspring.

[@Cinesta76]

@@wizardsuth Didn't know that but, this woman said her father was unable to have children.......

[@Arkasha-Z]

39:42 They're holding it upside down. Like literally if you flip it over it'll be correct, the way it's supposed to be.

[@ViridianFlow]

THANK YOU! I felt like I was going crazy when not only did the idiot who posted it not realise the obvious solution but then EmKay didn't either. How did these people grow up in a world full of 3d objects not learn that you can rotate stuff?

[@Mutant_Tracker]

I said the exact same thing lolz

[@McNuggetShutBucket]

God I love the internet. There are people here thinking there sooo smart but really it was just a joke that was never meant to be taken seriously.

[@Mutant_Tracker]

@@McNuggetShutBucket they're

[@Arkasha-Z]

@@McNuggetShutBucket Uh, I don't think they were joking and if they were, emkay didn't seem to notice it either....

[@Zip_FPE2]

Did some research on the lifeguard situation. Apparently, his co-workers also quit. Why was he fired? Well, there were certain areas those lifeguards had to watch. This wouldn't be an issue.. if they didn't have to stay in their own lane to save someone. So what does this have to do with him being fired? Oh, simple. He saw a person drowning, but the lifeguard watching that area wasn't there, so he broke the rules just to save someone's life. He was fired the next day. Luckily, as mentioned earlier, his co-workers quit as well. I mean, seriously, if you're gonna have lifeguards at the beach (yea, I forgot to mention it took place there), the least you could do is let them bend the rules if another lifeguard isnt there to save them in time.

[@EdgyShooter]

17:45 To be fair Robert Liston was an incredible surgeon. In a time of no anesthetic, coagulations or any real sanitation, the faster the amputation, the lower the risk of death due to shock or bloodloss

[@Fenrir90918]

Yeah the man did his job well , he just had really bad circumstances for that surgery

[@AdrianOkay]

@@Fenrir90918 he started to do these express amputations to show off and was more fixated on the public's reaction than the procedure itself

[@Fenrir90918]

@@AdrianOkay yeah

[@Luscinia_Nightengale]

The Vietnam bit has the same energy as Viggo calling Aurelio, prepared to berate him for hitting Iosef, only to realize that Aurelio went easy on him compared to what John was going to do to Viggo's entire gang.

[@pantherosgaming1995]

D&D friend: "We're in a forest, do you see any plants?!" Another D&D friend: "Is it the smart or the dumb one that's stupid?"

[@electrizzap7452]

Bro, one time someone with maxed out charisma went up to flirt with a Dragonborn in one of my D&D adventures say “Nice scales” as a flirt.. like “oh yeah I was born with them, nice skin” bro something like “so if anything without a bar code here is free can I take you out tonight” would have been 10x better

[@ryder3145]

@@electrizzap7452 im using that in my next DnD session, you are a genius

[@HelluvaMari0Fan]

14:12 Me: Okay, child murderer. Karen: I'm not murdering them, I'm helping them. Me: Yeah, helping them see God.

[@hollyhartwick3832]

I can relate to that one post. I’m 1/4 Indian. Growing up in England, there was never any confusion what that meant. Now, living in the US, whenever I mention my Indian heritage, I’m worried the person I’m talking to will think I’m referring to Native Americans, and have to awkwardly explain that my grandmother was from India. It’s a bit of Americana cringe I’ve never really gotten used to.

[@dadoctah]

Around the turn of the century, my employer (office job in IT, Fortune 100 company, office in Arizona) decided to bring in a bunch of contractors from India. After we'd gotten to know a number of them pretty well, I decided to ask how they felt about us using "Indian" to refer to the people who were here before we were (heck, the vice-president's secretary was Navajo). The general consensus was that they found it mildly amusing at best.

[@hollyhartwick3832]

@@dadoctah - I can see that. It is a bit awkward for me when people get confused and I have to explain, but language quirks can be funny when they aren’t causing personal hassle. I figure call people what they want to be called and it’s usually all good. It’s just a bit cringy when I say “I’m 1/4 Indian” and the other person starts talking about tribes and reservations, then I have to stop them and correct them. Worse would be those that start on cultural appropriation saying things like “everyone’s claiming to be part Cherokee or something because they think it’s cool” or nonsense like that. These things don’t happen often, but it’s pretty annoying to deal with.

[@TG-ge1oh]

So I was visiting US for a year, teaching at IU, and one of students told me that upon having mentioned his half-Indian heritage (his dad being from around my area), he has been asked "Dots or feathers?" by some. Had me confused till he explained the Native American/Indian confusion. A pretty rude question though, when all's said and done. Thank goodness I personally never had to clarify. I'd have been rendered speechless.

[@hollyhartwick3832]

@@TG-ge1oh - It’s a bit more common an issue in certain areas like the American SW where a large number of people still cling to outdated ideas and ways of speaking. It’s been more frequent (albeit still rare since the subject doesn’t often come up) where I’m living now in Texas than it was when I lived in the New England area. The more hostile reactions I mentioned have come mainly from eavesdroppers. The first time it happened, I was as confused as they were. In England, where I was born and raised, it’s not really a thing.

[@TG-ge1oh]

@@hollyhartwick3832 When you say eavesdroppers, you mean people would eavesdrop on others discussing their heritage and come up with weird questions like these? I'm glad to hear England doesn't have a similar issue. The fact that some US citizen would still be confused about who are and aren't the original inhabitants of their nation, is highly depressing. And I don't mean that in a "ha ha stupid American" way. It really is depressing.

[@daozhang]

something about Damien calling everyone stupid brings me joy

[@ratmuffin9212]

31:41 my friend Joe: “Wait, were they male, female or bisexual?” This wasn’t a joke Joe’s just an airhead (context, I was talking about a trans camp counselor I had once)

[@lemonyfreshagent5000]

I mean, he might've meant bigender.

[@meratolima]

I go to an English and French immersion school in Canada. One of my classmates asked me “do all of you french student come from France?” And I had to tell him with a straight face that no almost all of us are born in Canada

[@TheSilverTRex]

31:36 so In third grade there was this kid in my class and he kept arguing that all chicken eggs were already fertilized, but somehow they would just remove the embryo without breaking the egg I tried to explain it to him 100 times but he just not listen. I wonder what he is doing today 😂

[@nefwaenre]

Yo, i was genuinely surprised to hear Jack's voice in the mix! It's so easy to equate bubba Damien & Robin's voice in such a subreddit, but i completely forgot Jack also did Facepalm videos! XD

[@abigailmacnab3982]

31:37 once in one of my classes a kid in my class randomly got into someone’s conversation (they were probably talking about lgbtq+ but idk) and said “what’s the difference between lgbtq+ and gay? Is lgbtq+ just like premium gay??” It was literally so funny and kind of sad how he was being genuine with that question also what made me start cracking up is when someone answered him and said “ya u get this little pass if ur super gay to show ppl ur lgbtq+ it costs 9$ a month” I will never forget that conversation because I could not hold in the laughter😂😂.

[@rigelestbit]

Haha, unoriginal, even urban dictionary already has the premium gay joke about lgbtq+

[@Goblin_With_A_Fungus]

31:45 the dumb thing I listened to was in this video at 9:45. The problem with the KZbinr bar graph was the number labels. It showed Pewdiepie with 98,452,724, but he is behind the 2,000 space, and Damien didn't even notice it. Edit: Just listened to the rest of what you were saying at 31:45 I'm so sorry :'(