Use this one simple technique to up your resilience right now! | Dr. Henry Cloud

“Resilience” is a word that is thrown around a lot these days, and for good reason. We could all use a little more of it. But what is resilience, and how does one become more resilient? Dr. Henry Cloud breaks down the subject like this: There are negative events in your life from a small problem to something potentially catastrophic. Those are the external things that happen. Resilience lies within the person responding to those events. How you see yourself, how you view your own strength and confidence, the experiences you have had-all of these lead to your resilience. Your resilience is your capacity to deal with these challenges that come into your life. So how can you change your capacity? Your words. Dr. Cloud wants you to look at your words, and to understand how much they can affect your resiliency. How you say things to yourself about what’s happening directly influences how you interpret the event and its outcome.
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[@dixieandkurt]

Thank you so much, Dr. Cloud. Your teaching has been instrumental in transforming my life over the past 23 years, and as a consequence, has improved the lives of my children and grandchildren, as well. It all began when a therapist recommended your book Boundaries to me. I have personally devoured and also shared so many of your other books since then. Access to your teaching, which is so grounded in reality and truth, combined with a broken heart that is willing to apply the wisdom, is healing beyond measure. You help make the world a better place one life at a time, and I am so grateful.

[@brendarobinson9072]

Very, very wise advice. I minimised childhood trauma which led to an adult breakdown. Thanks to a gracious Lord and His servants like Dr Cloud I’ve been mostly healed.

[@lynnhamilton2357]

My husband did the same thing and is only now, in his 70's, beginning to face the reality of what happened, how it affected him and the fruit of his denial in his relationships. The Truth is finally setting him free...a process for sure, but I'm grateful for new beginnings!

[@faithbelleg7465]

HOW?! What did you read/do? I’ve been desperately trying to heal since I was a kid. Although I’ve made a lot of progress, there’s still symptoms that I can’t shake. CPTSD. Being reactionary.

[@brendarobinson9072]

@@faithbelleg7465 👋 from New Zealand. It’s a healing journey. I knew and loved Jesus but a crisis showed me my image of God was marred. I thought I had to be good for Him to continue to love me. Anxiety was my constant companion. The way out has been realisation of wrong beliefs, healing prayer for memories and trauma. Clinging to Jesus as my only hope and living in and on healing scripture. Confession to a trusted person (not a group). Staying in fellowship in the local church, Taking communion and helping others when I didn’t think I could. Gradually the promises of Isaiah 61: 1-3 have become a reality. He truly is Emmanuel. I know you can be healed. With love and prayers. Brenda

[@faithisrising]

⁠​⁠@@faithbelleg7465I am just watching this video with Dr. Cloud and I see that no one has answered you yet. I will share that if you can find a therapist that specializes with EMDR or some other type of trauma therapy it can help. I’ve been going for a year now and it’s been amazing what has been processed in my C-PTSD.

[@tnt01]

Talk therapy, EMDR, and yoga (to release negative emotions stored in body). @@faithbelleg7465

[@user-fe2fk7jb7l]

Thank you for continuing to remind me there are 2 ways of facing reality of any situation that has happened and will happen again cause we live in a fallen world; growing up my mother had the responsibility of raising 7 children with faith in God but she was raised in a negative way and things were first tragic instead of it this too shall pass; agreeing with you that were tragic events that occurred and now I understand why she reacted the way she did; I am finding it easier to ask God to help me see it as you He does; so tired of rehashing the past and not reaching out everyday to a joyful future; I don’t want the past to define me or my children🙏🫶🤗

[@leeharrison8790]

Thank you Dr Henry Cloud !

[@kristenlineweber1086]

Learning there is an alternate choice available to always being reactive set me free and saved my life. To be responsive is good. 😅 God is good.

[@jamiebartman7853]

Wow. This is SO good, so helpful. Thank you, Dr. Cloud!

[@debbieaylaian2402]

Enjoying the videos! Also a big fan of your books.

[@gisforme5032]

Dr. Cloud, I'm sure that I've posted this before but it's worth posting again. I too get frustrated of the overly dramatic words that people use to describe a situation. When my nephew was about 5 (he's 17 now) came upon something (I can't even remember what) he said outloud "THAT WAS STARTLING!" It was the PERFECT describe of what he was reacting to!! Instead of saying "I freaked out"; " I was so terrified", and my favorite "I literally almost died 10,000 times!" Using the word "startling" is usually the most truthful way to describe so many things. On "confrontation" that you spoke about; I feel like it sounds hostel. I think that framing it most calm is by exchanging the word "confrontation" in your mind to "conversation" is a better way to think about things that you need to discuss with another person. Love your show, as always!! 🫶 B

[@paulgehring6089]

'Catastrophising'.....I was bought up with 'Cruciialising'...both extremes are unbearable patterns. Fear of failure/allergic fear of dissapointment. rather than learning to lower our expectations to accomodate the dissapointment. = learning to make friends with those fears (dissapointment/ failure/feeling belittled/ unloved/disrespected etc) that are unbearable feelings resulting with overwhelming reactive patterns. learning to confront the lies of destructive self talk. The ruminitions of the mind become the moods of the heart.

[@picosmom8698]

Love it! Thank you 😊❤

[@francesbrown850]

Very good. Exactly what I needed to hear today. Thanks very much.

[@nnylasoR]

DUDE. Exactly(!!!!!) I have always talked to my now-7yo about words / behaviors / ways of speaking such as “exaggerated” or “dramatic.” I don’t even like using the word “dead” for a toy that takes batteries or can be recharged, because death is final (I won’t get into my faith and assurance in Jesus here 😉) and something to be taken seriously … not used lightly to refer to an object that can be played with again in a matter of minutes.

[@1027MissBear]

Dr. Cloud, I can't thank you enough for all your help in your books and now on youtube. I'm in a difficult situation with my mom, now 84. I foolishly reacted to something she was going on about and used the word "retard" . I don't even know where that came from, and I apologized. But , I have used other less damaging ,but hurtful words. Thanks to you and the Holy Spirit, I am working on "monitoring" my language.

[@joedaw3003]

Dr Cloud, thanks for your wisdom and always , over the decades, your compassionate voice. Has helped me resolve so many adult issues.

[@ssutherland9019]

Very helpful. Would like more on building resilience! Thank you

[@sandysouthward3635]

I am so grateful to have found your videos. Thank you!

[@JesusSaves77799]

Thank you very much!! God bless you! 🙏🙏

[@chelenesalzwedel6577]

This is very helpful, thank you so much for the perspective!

[@suzannebunbury2961]

Thank you

[@victoryamartin9773]

How do you know how bad something is if you can't trust your body's response to it and all you have to go on is what other people say about the situation? I've spent my life listening to Narcs' catastrophysing my effects on their lives and denying their effects on me. I've learned to speak quietly and calmly about my feelings so as not to upset them and cause their explosions. As a result, no one believes me when I try to get help because my life is unraveling. I am at the point of being suicidal again because of what feels like abuse I am currently unable to reframe and manage within myself. I'm being told by outsiders to ignore it, it's nothing, get over myself, rejoice in the Lord, and even, "Are you healed yet?" I'm really worried that this is going to kill me, but what do I know? Maybe I am just making it all up to get attention. I can actually think of better ways to get attention, but I'm not capable of doing those things while I'm hiding in fear for my life.

[@sh6460]

I've heard it said (especially when it comes to some types of potentially narcissistic abuse) that it helps to get a counselor familiar with this stuff. Some of the things a very toxic, envious abuser does is so out of the realm of normal it just doesn't make sense to healthier people, which may be leading you to be invalidated. Hope you can find a good counselor. Even regular counselors might not be attuned to the issues and tactics used by some who are toxic.

[@monaperry2635]

I have a situation at work that I would love to hear your feedback on, and interestingly this topic of resilience ties into it. Would you be ok sharing an email so I could explain the details in confidentiality?

[@kimmymole5661]

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