Playing Civ 6 with a 5 Second Turn Timer.

[@lukaskubik4698]

Game makers: "There is no wrong way to play our games. Just enjoy yourself." Valefisk:"Watch this."

[@chaoticclonestudios]

Vale: are you challenging me

[@ethon6668]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/oYOlkp6uiJWHbKM

[@Introlabe]

To be fair to the creators, they aren't enjoying themselves

[@koral.arthouse]

so you're saying if you're not enjoying yourself, then you're playing wrong?

[@Flow86767]

🤓

[@kristoferssolo]

Somebody accidentally gets disconnected and tries to reconnect: "This little maneuver is gonna cost us 500 years"

[@Kaiserboo1871]

I love that movie.

[@somemeansfish8987]

@@Kaiserboo1871 What movie is it from

[@Kaiserboo1871]

@@somemeansfish8987 Interstellar, directed by Christopher Nolan

[@somemeansfish8987]

@@Kaiserboo1871 thanks

[@ILiekFishes]

letting the ai play is probably for the best

[@dontshootmex5588]

I love how despite his friends always claiming that they hate whatever Vale's making them do, they always come back for more

[@moosehooves4145]

Stockholm syndrome

[@7OwlsWithALaptop]

Blackmail is a wonderful thing

[@radekchrabota]

Stockholm syndrome

[@silveredbullet802]

Or just masochists.

[@b2crazyeye]

True friendship

[@SirGruff]

Disconnecting is a viable strat as the AI will take the turns for you

[@BocchiSensei]

6D move right here, 200 IQ

[@Jaydee-wd7wr]

The only winning movie is to not play.

[@oppositeday429]

​@@Jaydee-wd7wr quite literally

[@timothymclean]

@@Jaydee-wd7wr That _is_ how torture games work, yes.

[@norathemediocre]

"Because it wouldn't be a Civ VI multiplayer lobby without sitting in the lobby for 20 minutes." Truer words have never been spoken.

[@derAlphabet]

Remember me of the last LAN I went to, where we set the game up for 4 hours, just to play for one 😁

[@schroedingersband]

Ah, I remember that famous moment in history when Suleiman the Magnificent tabbed out for 200 years to play CS:GO.

[@hallway_revenant7919]

Oh is that where the Ottoman Empire went

[@leflamewolf]

@@hallway_revenant7919 Yeah they're busy playing CS:GO at the moment, give them another century to finish their game and they'll be back.

[@lucaslennan3356]

For tgose who don't know: Barbarians are based on turn count but not game speed so they accelerate rapidly on slow speeds.

[@Shenaldrac]

Game balance!

[@Killer_the_exister]

This is the type of channel that I forget about every week, and then when he uploads I'm like "Oh yeah, I love this channel!"

[@danielryan6604]

Yeah pretty much, but then when he does not upload in a while i search to see if he is alive

[@Pantsugrenadiere]

Every time he post something i'm like "wait who is this Guy Why am I subbed to him ?" Then i watch the vid and remember why

[@GwainSagaFanChannel]

"There is fun to be found in a group torture session."

[@dededelete4454]

860 likes, including Vale, and not a single comment. Well, I guess there's a first for everything. Weird... But yes. Your statement is correct.

[@Finnishnat-conservativedot7126]

Imagine losing in CS against people who are playing CIV6 simultaneously

[@NoNameAtAll2]

losing in computer science yes

[@karkatvantas978]

@@NoNameAtAll2 my dude, it's counter strike. Not computer science-

[@NoNameAtAll2]

@@karkatvantas978

[@karkatvantas978]

@@NoNameAtAll2 honestly, I'm glad it was a joke, I can never tell with the internet these days

[@NoNameAtAll2]

@@karkatvantas978 even if I was serious, you can laugh at me losing in computer science ha-ha...ha....ha ...hm anyway, how's the weather?

[@jonasschoenwald671]

OMG a strategy video from the famous American Truck Simulator KZbinr Valefisk!

[@pirig-gal]

What are you talking about? It's clearly -a chess- an FPS video.

[@magicalframe9441]

@@pirig-gal I appreciate the edit.

[@maivioz]

i honestly blocked out most of this shit outta my memory. fun times

[@personwithaname271]

Among Us at War

[@Aiur4HB]

I'm just believing you are masochist at this point

[@chaoticclonestudios]

Hi Maivi how are you going

[@ladywaffle2210]

Here to remind you of your agony :)

[@hallway_revenant7919]

Maivi is real?

[@KerbalRocketry]

civ needs a mode that gives a painful electric shock to whoever took the longest turn

[@BoserPSN]

Michael Reeves

[@spacemarine6212]

@@BoserPSN deadass

[@backroomscataloger]

Fun drinking game: take one drink if you take the longest in a civ turn

[@dodojesus4529]

Turn timer 5 seconds. There is a choice between living and winning

[@theufua]

Scales with the set turn timer. So if anyone hasn't hit the "End Turn" button when the timer expires, they get shocked.

[@14thbattlegroupcommander]

currently making a civ 6 huge-size TSL map while listening to this, the misery and brain fog sure does resonate right now

[@catoftheworldking8179]

The greatest badge of honor a person can give a KZbinr: I did something while listening to your video!

[@azogtheuglee4889]

TSL?

[@14thbattlegroupcommander]

@@azogtheuglee4889 true start location, a recreation of a real world area were everyone starts in the correct places

[@KaneyoriHK]

Two things I have learned during the time I've watched this channel: 1.) Vale is Evil, and I love it. 2.) Barbs are the most dangerous thing possible when you have like, no time to do anything.

[@JediSteve-J3-]

not to mention in marathon speed barbs don't have reduced speed... so add only 5 seconds of action they become more dangerous than ghandi with nukes.

[@spacemarine6212]

@@JediSteve-J3- ghandi will fuck you up but the barbarians will end you through the screen

[@mellow_mallow]

His name is even an anagram of evil! Vale -> Eval Or, you know, it's close enough.

[@NocturnalTyphlosion]

​@@mellow_mallow valefisk -> evil as fk

[@mellow_mallow]

@@NocturnalTyphlosion OHHHHHH DAMN!!!

[@mranderson9553]

the reason this is so much worse is because with most of these challenges you become closer and closer to a slug as the game goes on but this game requires you to actively pay attention every single second

[@Hendlton]

The time warp is real. This video felt like it was 2 hours long.

[@guyonacomputer1261]

"What are you doing, Steppe People, I am caught in the Washing Machine/Great Wall of China" really caught me off guard.

[@alba_tramonto]

You are now a certified "Candy Civilization Survivor" just remember to yell at him to end his turn for those who suffered.

[@Candybust]

HOW IS THIS STILL A JOKE

[@Wepium]

​@@CandybustIt seems you have a history...

[@lukaskubik4698]

There is a mod that allows you to play CK III battles in Mount and Blade II. Time to resolve my CIV VI battle by 1 on 1 fights in CS:GO.

[@JohnBrown-tw2qi]

Wait really? That’s pretty cool.

[@heartdex]

holy crap

[@hallway_revenant7919]

Those were all words and I understand none of them

[@rambbler]

​​@@hallway_revenant7919alright, I also don't understand them but I think the terms are: CK III= Crusader Kings 3, another real time strategy game. Mount and Blade II= Mount and Blade 2: Bannerlord, a strategy game where there's more a focus on the combat strategy aspect of conquering. CIV VI= Sid Meier's Civilization 6, the game shown in the video and is a turn based strategy game instead of a real time strategy game. CS:GO= Counter Strike: Global Offensive, a free fps game by Valve. Now known as Counter Strike 2.

[@cheyannegiles9772]

Text color guide: Vale: White Solll: Tan Chamber: Green Maivi: Pink Candy: Blue Teddy: Yellow PedeJo: Red Dyno: Purple

[@hallway_revenant7919]

I thought there were only four people in this video wha

[@serenahiggins1849]

Maivi always sound like she is on the verge of crying while also quite drunk, but it’s also super cute.

[@lukaskubik4698]

How the hell did he make a turn strategy into RTS ?

[@good_guy_SG]

700 turns in- "how do I build a horse?"

[@hallway_revenant7919]

When a mommy horse and a daddy horse love each other very much…

[@bray7299]

imagine this but on the fastest game mode, you leave for 2 minutes and like 250 years past and suddenly people have guns at your door

[@timothymclean]

Unrelated to the game, of course; the armed men knocking on your door probably haven't played _any_ Civilization game.

[@Kitty-ion]

@@timothymclean Well It's Rude To Assume, They Might Be Very Big Fans Of The Civilization Series

[@DefinitelyARobot]

@@Kitty-ionWhy is every word in your comment capitalized?

[@ICantThinkOfAFunnyHandle]

​@@DefinitelyARobotWhy Isn't Every Word In Your Message Capitalized?

[@atocanboi409]

42:20 I do love the way she goes like "but you promiiiiised you'd kiiillll meeeeeeeeee.... *sobs"*

[@ummmhelp]

congrats you've somehow made a 4x turn based strategy game into an RTS

[@antilad5584]

30:30 the questions lasted 4 turns and like 1 kill in csgo, the video is just absolutely cursed

[@jorcornel558]

I have such whiplash from watching Vales torture board i was waiting this entire video for someone to say "I killed my wife"

[@jakeking974]

Ngl, I think my greatest achievement in life was beating my custom 50 by 50 Minesweeper game with 100 mines. It took me like four hours and several attempts, but I felt like an analytical genius afterwards.

[@chaoticclonestudios]

Wow good job

[@redpepper74]

100 or 1000?

[@jakeking974]

@@redpepper74 it might have been like 40 x 40, it was on my old laptop years ago. All I remember is getting multiple sixes and an 8 that nearly made shit myself and then laugh hysterically because it was connected to one of those sixes and eight is a free 8 bombs if it's not the first click. That being said, it took me ten minutes of first clicks to NOT randomly click a bomb right out of the gate.

[@redpepper74]

@@jakeking974 ok definitely more like 1000, because 40 x 40 is 1600 tiles, which yeah would be pretty difficult id imagine :P

[@jakeking974]

@@redpepper74 lol I'm so bad at math I was like "that's like 160? Yeah, so like 100 then" Thankfully Minesweeper doesn't require math skills

[@NonisLuck]

"Without hyperbole" "A million times worse"

[@x8668x]

these can't even be considered gaming sessions anymore, they're just mind-numbing delusional group torture sessions i love it 👍 keep up the great content mr. gorilla man

[@etangrine1024]

This game would have been so much worse if they enabled dramatic ages and zombie defense game modes. The reason is that the progression would have been stopped dead in its tracks soon after the first Era due to dark age rebels +zombies.

[@infernox1099]

We're told it's May 14th when this is recorded, and it's out May 22nd, That's decent pace, but you could have some timesaves by cutting the entire video out and showing us a black screen, would've been done way faster that way, and that way, we'd be able to emulate the pain this was.

[@Thomaas551]

I think this was recorded in 2021

[@allisdust5717]

At the rate you are playing strategy games and unistaling them, you will start playing old and forgotten ones soon soI would like to petition you playing "battle for middle earth 1" it was one of my favorite games and I would like to see how you could turn it into a torture experiment. Also glad that you are uploading consistently now

[@personwithaname271]

Nah he needs to become a roblox strategy youtuber, start using child labor

[@Ed-1749]

Vale, you're not supposed to put yourself in your own torture session.

[@EshBBX]

"You're building a Battering Ram.. I don't even have walls!!!" lmao

[@ghastlyghandi4301]

I always used to play civ like this, it might explain why I rarely ever got past the medieval age.

[@alex2005z]

I think you are just bad tbh

[@hallway_revenant7919]

Sir that is the equivalent of edging yourself but never Cumming for your whole life

[@flordelphinta]

that minesweeper "1,2,3,4" is awesome

[@wetwillyis_1881]

Playing with Valefisk has to be both the most fun and most frustrating thing ever.

[@tissuepaper9962]

"Steppe-people, what are you doing?" got a legitimate full-belly chuckle and coughing fit out of me, especially once Maivi replied that she was stuck in the washing machine lmao.

[@NovelPond]

the CS:GO game is my favourite part of the video.

[@AChamber]

haha I remember this! I wish it never happened

[@benhall850]

death is a preferable alternative to this concept

[@mausmouse8630]

I thought that Vale couldn’t psychologically torture the audience. I was wrong.

[@zoedoocey4496]

If Barbarians spawn with unhappiness, then likely they sensed the vibes of the game and started sprouting like acne.

[@shesh2265]

playing this with "next action" hotkeyed would have made it a lot lot lot better

[@alex2005z]

I would have had everything on a hotkey

[@jazzy_jaymond]

42:32 - 43:00 best fucking part of the video, truly inspiring. really woke up up

[@damocles7406]

Vale's desire for pain and suffering grows and that's Great!

[@kak42]

Couldn't ever expect that a video about playing civ 6 with a 5 second turn timer would be how i'd find out about the existance of such thing as coop minesweeper

[@kiwigaming09]

Same here mate

[@B1smarkk]

I love how torturing people in games isnt enought for Vale anymore, so he moved on to to his "friends" (also known as test subjects).

[@acardboardbox3861]

Turning CIV 6 into a real time strategy game

[@baz5042]

Vale, enjoying the suffering he has brought upon himself and his cohorts.

[@John-Ginger]

Seeing a Onion reference was an unexpected surprise, but a welcome one.

[@shamsquatch9980]

Seeing Vale in pain for content is incredibly fun Keep up the good work Monke-Whale

[@eloryosnak4100]

The later stages of this game is fucking blinding Its an incredible testament to all of y'all keeping up and around, i love it

[@elgirl19]

Val is so good at the game, building a 19 turn monument before a builder

[@josephschultz3301]

I think it should be obvious by now that if you build a monument to Huey Lewis, the bonus that you get is The News.

[@mayoblaze9715]

That's fucking amazing. Endure the pain for us vale, wallow in it. Now play Hoi4 by using an 8Ball to make all your decisions.

[@requitedhail8953]

"Steppe people, what are you doing?" underrated line

[@zachrobinson8357]

Vale I am so glad you’re consistently uploading. It makes my day when I see that you’ve uploaded a new video. That aside, please make sure that you aren’t burning yourself out, because I can’t imagine how tiring doing stuff like this is. Thanks!

[@AvatarONEable]

Wow, actually god tier editing speed if it was filmed this year

[@fyrestorm8531]

It’s a pain in the ass to get a Civ lobby up and running but once it is it usually goes fine, until someone disconnects

[@Enderz420]

The true experience. One thing needed should have made an impossible map

[@isaacshultz8128]

Oh no don't give him ideas

[@Erthradar]

22:30 "You recently discovered Archery" *year 450 AD* You mean like as a hobby?

[@georgiishmakov9588]

civ 6 should be played with a chess clock instead.

[@thelastarcadegamer6655]

I would love to see them play Civ Rev, with how quick that game goes and how small the maps can be. (Side note, as a kid I would always be even with the other factions, never doing too much better than them and often in stalemates, but now that I know how to cheese the game and understand how the mechanics work, I beat the game by the 1970’s and with 1 or 2 of the 4 other factions undiscovered)

[@pitedapollo6175]

idk why people say its bad. civ rev is my fav civ game. shame the servers died

[@thelastarcadegamer6655]

@@pitedapollo6175 i still play solo on Xbox 360, slowly trying to get every victory type with every leader. And yet somehow I always end up missing one modern wonder every play through

[@pitedapollo6175]

@@thelastarcadegamer6655 i play on xbox one after enjoying it so much on the 360. im not the best player tbh, but its a good game that provides a good challenge, but isnt too stressful

[@pitedapollo6175]

@@thelastarcadegamer6655 ate the servers still online?

[@syrelian]

@@pitedapollo6175 Probably because a number of people know Civ Rev DS, which is pretty much just a bad port of Civ 2, as compared to console Civ Rev which is an actually unique reimagining of the game

[@timothymclean]

Five-second turn timer? WHY IS THAT AN OPTION!?!

[@svahn1]

This looks like it would be complete hell. Invite me next time.

[@darkpuppetlordful]

The secret to success was using the time in between turns to plan your next turn, potentially 10 whole seconds of planning

[@lnedcx6402]

From Turn Based Strategy to Real Time Strategy

[@agcz789]

Those group torture videos are sick please continue with them funny Scottish guy

[@Jacob-yg7lz]

13:06 Vale turns into the Nostalgia Critic for a sec

[@Virtrial]

look guys look he disconnected

[@Snowbound1823]

"There's usually fun to be found in a good group torture session" That's what they say in the sex dungeon.

[@masterdynamo6457]

This is the Bureaucracy Challenge. Can hardly do anything productive while the world passes you by.

[@timthndr2996]

Okay, now I have to learn Civ 6 to actually understand what the hell is going on

[@LinusRapTips]

i have a few hundred hours and i still have no clue

[@DyonisX]

Imagine doing this without simultaneous turns

[@theroosterbrcbloop9789]

30:42 as a physics major I do love my Lagrange equations

[@lukestorm4566]

Was the religion "the end is never the end is neve" a Stanley Parable reference? Or is it just referring to the seemingly endless cycle of pain they're in?

[@XarathDominion]

Let's assume it was both.

[@Pikaton659]

I may not understand Civ 6, but I do understand misery. 10/10

[@thisisgamelord2421]

and I'm watching this in September, even tho is't 2 years late, it is September

[@richarddecat3417]

This is the first video without "Ah, Paris! Le city o' lovè!". Congrats Vale

[@razgulan7249]

"sitting in the lobby for 20 minutes" takes about 2 hours for a hoi4 lobby

[@adammullarkey4996]

"I had a Cadbury's chocolate bar." Good. The correct type of chocolate.

[@henryblack9553]

Ah my favorite game, and favorite American truck sim KZbinr

[@motokuchoma]

I expected this to be hectic and fast paced. I underestimated Civ's Marathon mode as well.

[@dylanswift5185]

The fact that vale could have won the chess game on turn 3 really made this video something special.

[@CMDRJakob]

Missed the opportunity to make it a six second turn timer instead of five.

[@Jeffry_Ab]

41:45 The rate of braincell loss caused by the game is showing

[@EliesJoac]

Better title 48 minutes of goofiness occasionally broken up by Civ 6

[@thepedrothethethe6151]

You basically converted Civ into a Grand Strategy game.

[@BunkerFox]

I almost always play Civ games on Marathon so this seems to be going super quick

[@ulric8445]

This content has gone from warcrimes to Vale’s discord mental asylum

[@QuintonMurdock]

This game is also how I feel on a normal day

[@ShardtheWolf]

I would *kill* to see a version of this on stellaris. Maybe a mod that lets you go faster than the "fastest" speed, and lock it that way. Add in the Year Zero mod.

[@dasamont8274]

I feel like it could actually be viable if you had consecutive turns or whatever it's called instead of simultaneous turns. So you'd essentially have 40 second turns since you can do things on others' turns, but if something changed before your turn you'd only have 5 seconds to fix it

[@Ed-1749]

Minesweeper 1234 is a historic moment.

[@generalspills]

Love how your steam username fits perfectly with the theme of your videos.

[@metalapplesus]

I feel like after nearly a year, at this point Vale does indeed own a radar now.