Civ, but there's a Million Billion Barbarians

alternate title: civ 6, but there's 90 gorillion barbarians everywhere
PATREON: / valefisk
MOD: steamcommunity...
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#pain#gaming#valefisk

[@Valefisk]

original video title was: "civ but rhere barbains whakcing head with biug stick" rip biug stick my beloved

[@thegoldencow5297]

can't believe we got robbed of such a hit title

[@crazygamerlj2663]

the rats will remember this title

[@altermist7016]

bring it back

[@Vasboch]

Don't forget (CNA INCLUDED!!!)

[@talosine2963]

PLEASE bring it back

[@KornekK]

Campaign for North Africa is next week right? Valefisk wouldn't lie to us, he'd never do it. Right? I-I mean he never did, he promised. HE PROMISED HE'D DO IT

[@timothymclean]

First time?

[@Obamalover88]

Just a week away!

[@Appstateson]

​@Obamalover88 can you believe it!

[@iplaygames8090]

CfNA will come with Irans attack

[@Masterman2020]

keep in mind chamber edited this video. so, chamber would be the one lying to us, which is more likely than vale lying to us

[@indomitablesloth2437]

We need a Chamber Cut version where it's just the parts that Chamber enjoys, but it's just a 15-second clip where Vale says "I brought Chamber on to edit the videos, I'm also paying him"

[@EEEEEEEE]

E‎

[@arttops2563]

@@EEEEEEEE E

[@Anonymous-ph5nl]

I had the same idea. Give us the Chamber Cut!

[@mihael64]

Release the chamber cut

[@idiotadebilbezmozg]

#releasethechambercut-it-out

[@Grandma_edith]

Can't wait for "CNA but with 30 second turn timers"

[@NotFunctional-ever]

Everyones starving, no planes, mutiny is high, and over the course of the campaign everybody's going to be jumbled up in the nile.

[@remiliascarletmybeloved]

@@NotFunctional-everthe North African Free State will triumph, whether they like it or not

[@G-Cole-01]

30 seconds of throwing dice fucking everywhere while writing completely illegible chicken scratch onto a phonebook sized stack of paper, per person.

[@ribunndraws]

You might actually be able to finish that one

[@hereby9448]

CNA but we die of old age

[@ivgorm9365]

can't wait for the inevitable civ 7 torture sessions

[@RecRealMaster]

Valefisk tradition says that for every new installement to the civ franchise, they have to play a marathon 30 second turn timer game

[@killerkonnat]

That's just called playing civ 7

[@colbygordon6936]

@@killerkonnat Glad to know people are somehow being tortured by an unreleased game.

[@PrincelyDusty]

@@colbygordon6936 to be fair the devs stated that they've brought back basically every single feature from previous games that people despised, and removed a lot of ones people liked. so you can in fact be tortured by this unreleased game particularly.

[@colbygordon6936]

@@PrincelyDusty meh. I grew up with 5 and the crappy DS game, but I kinda prefer how 6 works mechanically.

[@AChamber]

Life was indeed a dream, but it was actually a nightmare instead

[@tylerp.5004]

Chamber, cut the video, all of it. Make it 0:00 runtime.

[@HotheadLad]

Chamber, release the CNA video.

[@amazingkool]

The game or the video?

[@NeonValkyrieGaming]

Chamber we know you have the CNA footage just give it up you can't hide it forever.

[@epileptix8954]

Chamber, I commend you for taking on the role as Valefisk editor. Brave soul. Welcome to hell.

[@DiploStrats]

Isn't Civ but with broken barbs just normal Civ Edit: Okay, nevermind, this is quite something

[@thewarriorcat3271]

That's what I thought!

[@Bubbciss]

I need another DiploStrats-Valefisk crossover injected into my veins.

[@notster7114]

average game on deity tbh

[@randorider4447]

I can't believe they decided to play League of Legends on the channel "Minions have spawned"

[@FirstLast-wk3kc]

Uh, i dunno what civ are you playing, mb it's just tha easier at civ 5. Is civ 6 really harsh with barbs naturally?

[@degoumet]

Can you believe it, CNA just a week away!!

[@rct3LP]

wait really?

[@hamhamson7740]

Tis a joke​@@rct3LP

[@Claire25252]

Yeah! Just a week away!​@@rct3LP

[@rct3LP]

@@Claire25252 never mind I just understood the joke

[@goldblood8471]

​@@rct3LPabsolutely! you can trust this stranger 😊

[@benchehebar2833]

This is Civ when you take too long to explore a tundra area and then suddenly have to begin the great barbarian wars to settle an area

[@imageispower20]

Reminds me a game where the barbs controlled not south America after destroying a civ. the whole continent was non stop barbs. That took a lot of cleaning

[@tylerp.5004]

Not even 10 minutes in and we have: - Modification To Strategy Game - Blatantly Unachievable Goal With Extreme Difficulty - Many Minutes Of Sitting In Lobby Talking Bullshit - Conversations Of Daily Activities Of These Degenerates - "mah apes gone :(" - Balls - Reference To Weeks-Old Trend - Valefisk going down rabbit hole for hilarity - rats - silly names - Meta jokes piled on top of meta jokes - Internet Issues (Bonus points for it not being Chamber this time) - dyslexia - Someone playing another game in the meantime - waiting so long someone now has food congrats vale, another classic hit. and all it took was turning the entire game into a recreation of the Gallic Wars but in Caeser's nightmares.

[@arttops2563]

Ahhh, another to add to my collection!

[@danwar2489]

Honestly, anyone playing with Caesar as leader would've DOMINATED this mod.

[@oroshithegodeater2590]

Gallic wars but a little village decided to share it's secret

[@Gymnastian]

​@@oroshithegodeater2590 ASTERIX REFERENCE LETS GOOOOO

[@kingcrafteroderderfahradtu7331]

I sure do have internet issues. It took me 30 minutes to watch the first 10. At 114p btw

[@boruchan7636]

Wow I can’t believe that CNA had this good of an art design

[@EEEEEEEE]

E‎

[@NayleJR]

The best part of the "cut that" bit is that one of the players in this game has been almost completely cut from the final edit

[@VasiliyOgniov]

Who?

[@Thepreacher_1]

​@@VasiliyOgniovexactly

[@kylesimmons9457]

Teddy? Or Dyno

[@Thomaas551]

Lynx

[@robertstrachan3828]

Mavi

[@LTamazil]

Chamber didn't do the black/white cut to the Torture Board Game video when they said, "They killed my wife." FIRE HIM! CUT HIS PAY! HE HAS FAILED AS AN EDITOR!

[@useless4692]

They killed my flashback.

[@LTamazil]

@@useless4692 cope land

[@bb010g]

​@@useless4692all my flashbacks…gone…

[@lowersecurity]

Fun story. One time in the military, I was quite overworked and had just returned from a month long operation. To relax that night I decided to play Civ 6. A little while into the game I watched as a barbarian siege tower maneuvered to attack an attack helicopter I had in the area. The barbarians attacking is the last memory I have as I proceeded to have a grand mal seizure. I Still think I had the better civ experience.

[@afinnishfishnet7366]

The attack wasnt actually directed at the helicopter, it was aimed at your brain

[@Obamalover88]

​@@afinnishfishnet7366 and it clearly succeeded, which is why I never play civ games with barbs on, its a straight up melevolent memetic hazard with a will of its own.

[@jasonalbert6251]

Why did Sid Meier add lethal cognitohazards to his game? Is he stupid?

[@EPSYLNN]

Mitosis was a vital part of barbarian life in the Mongolian Empire

[@spynix0718]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="305">5:05</a> Here, we see the common lie that Valefisk parades around: "Campaign for North Africa, just a week away."

[@RecRealMaster]

The magical words of "Chamber, edit that out" instantly creates a funny clip to increase the run time of the video

[@gray740p]

Please get chamber to actually do an Edit of everytime "Aiden" is said it's Chamber saying "Candy" over it.

[@CatsMeow_]

Like rtgame's youtube joke

[@TFGA_tFoMS]

​@CatsMeow_ it's not really a joke with RT, he has to censor his curses because of youtube, so he decided that the word youtube would be his curse censor

[@Hibernathan05]

@@TFGA_tFoMShis logic is so sound on that to. Explicitly stated that he is using KZbin as a curse word, so either they demonetise him, in which they’re admiring their company name is a curse word, or they don’t and they’re not enacting their own policy. Bro is a genius

[@tigerbattle]

@@TFGA_tFoMSActually the policy change that prompted RT to implement the KZbin censor was overturned a while ago and he’s kept it going as a running gag

[@TeemoQuinton]

​@@tigerbattleknowing youtube it was just "repealed". They'll do anything to keep from paying people

[@olanordmann2743]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="3442">57:22</a> I didn't play CIV 6 all that much, so I only now realised that Barbarossa is wearing armour from 300 years after his death AND they gave him left handed cavalry plate armour, which I've never seen any historical evidence for.

[@lunatheluma3804]

It's also a game where gandi can face off against Ceasar, I dint think historical accuracy was high on the list of priorities

[@molassesman4066]

​​@@lunatheluma3804its also a game where gandhi is a 100% evil warlord or a buclear detterance enthusiast due to a bug i think your point is very valid

[@jansatamme6521]

I think if the Holy Roman Emperor wanted a left handed plate, it wouldn't be an issue

[@timothymclean]

@@jansatamme6521 Probably not, but OP didn't say Barbarossa couldn't get left-handed plate, they said there's no evidence that left-handed cavalry plate was a thing anyone historically made.

[@maciejbala477]

@@molassesman4066 wasn't that back in like civ 2, or even the original one? lol

[@tylerroman4179]

Aiden will always be Candy to me, he can’t escape his past

[@marxussy]

transphobe.....

[@Alex-6942]

If you call someone something other than their name for very long, they will start responding to it

[@mihael64]

​​@@Alex-6942 huh edit: nvm im a dumbass i get it now

[@glowingfox704]

*Aiden* thank you for the $1, I do suck... Lot's of pe-

[@lknight1266]

There is no escaping a past of war crimes

[@---zd4wv]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="62">1:02</a>:22 I can't believe Chamber completely cut Maivi out of this video

[@laurivirtanen8636]

Can't believe this vile man not only tortures his "friends" but has also imprisoned Chamber in the editor basement far from gods eyes.

[@escapingnoone9442]

Can't wait for "Campaign For North Africa, but we're playing in REAL TIME!" title to crawl across my screen next week.

[@PerfectZeroMusic_]

It is now my head-canon that Vale was just a figurehead and Chamber was the mastermind behind the channel and also the person making all the money, all along

[@Arxtxc]

Real names slowly being revealed Can’t wait for CNA :)

[@NovelPond]

@@Arxtxc just 3 weeks away

[@useless4692]

@@NovelPond Wait what I thought it was a week away (no but seriously is this a joke or not? am I gaslighting myself into believing that a change of words actually means something)

[@Turtoile41]

​@@useless4692 Just three weeks away :)

[@Arxtxc]

@@NovelPondI swear your just saying this is gaslight people

[@parapasarunbuenrato8773]

"CNA but the players are broken" was a banger video, can't wait for the next one!

[@NovelPond]

some men just wanna watch the world burn

[@EEEEEEEE]

E‎

[@COFFEEWSUGA]

those men are you, and the world is chamber's empire ...

[@diogoduarte8008]

Some man are candy changing his name and making me really confused every time they use his real name

[@Brother_O4TS]

​@@COFFEEWSUGA If Vale wasn't such a rat, Chamber would've easily won

[@epadefunder5331]

RIP candy, killed and replaced by a body snatcher called Aiden

[@spynix0718]

"CNA is just a week away," - Novelpond 4 weeks ago.

[@timothymclean]

It's like fusion power, except 1,040 times less.

[@NovelPond]

Just ONE more week guys!!!!

[@AAhmou]

Lore accurate

[@shadowsovereign4948]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="3336">55:36</a> No need to complain, just sell your house to Aquaman and move inland with all the barbarians.

[@VasiliyOgniov]

Is this an hbomberguy reference?

[@battadia]

​@@VasiliyOgniovBen Shapiro

[@timothymclean]

@@battadia Benny didn't actually explain who you were supposed to sell your house to.

[@michaelscalley6188]

As a guy named Michael who primarily uses the online handle Aedan, the part where they start jokingly calling Candy/Aiden "Michael" is uniquely funny.

[@JamesHock]

*Incoherent rambling "SHUT UP PLEASE" "Epic Smosh refer-" "NO, IT IS NOT AN EPIC SMOSH REFERENCE!" This sounds exactly like my friends too lol

[@joebloggs7514]

*Hisssss gives us the Precious CNA, Triksy triksy Valesesss promises CNA but me thinks it lies Precious.

[@featherlight2652]

Most normal Valefisk fan (including me)

[@joebloggs7514]

@@featherlight2652 it maybe a p*sstake (not sure how the comments section is on swearing) of how the comments section has been recently, but part of me thinks this is all some massive windup for a later video.

[@alpha198delta]

Thing is, we have no clue if Vale will or won't do CNA. He could be gaslighting us into thinking it's coming Or gaslighting us into thinking he's gaslighting us, so the real gaslight is the CNA is just one week away Or gaslighting us into thinking that he's already got everyone into playing CNA and it just needs editting. or.......................

[@joebloggs7514]

@@alpha198delta precisely

[@zoogoo404]

I like the addition of the coloured 'you's so that we know who 'you' refers to by colour. Thanks Chamber.

[@florisvink1145]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="144">2:24</a> man does NOT know about the Live Yongle Reaction

[@the_tactician9858]

*Live Tactician Yongle reaction*

[@AimlessSavant]

Yongle bongle

[@matthewbrooks5470]

It's not always the case that everyone but Vale remain in the dark about what they're about to suffer through, but considering knowing usually seems to lead to more suffering, this is probably preferable in a "far less impending dread" kind of way

[@thatguy6919]

Imagine ruling over millions of people for decades, exhalted as literally “Son of Heaven”. And then thousands of years later make fun of your name and title because “Yongle” sounds funny

[@LlamasAtMidnight]

Specifically sounds funny in a language you don't even speak

[@timothymclean]

@@LlamasAtMidnight In a language that _did not exist_ when you were alive.

[@Nyx_2142]

He was a brutal tyrant who personally had, at minimum, several thousands of people executed and tortured to death. Some of them simply to avoid the mere possibility of "scandals." And I'm not even counting his own personal version of the Gestapo he created. Also, Chinese rulers calling themselves "Son of Heaven" are a dime a dozen, its an utterly worthless phrase and title. All of them referred to themselves as such, as well as any dipshit that wanted to claim the throne. Its called the "Mandate of Heaven" for a reason. Also also, he ruled for barely 20 years and died a drooling mess of a failure while fighting the Oirats and Mongols (if you count constantly being outmaneuvered and then pillaging/raping unrelated tribes in a tantrum as "fighting"). On top of continuing the tradition and meme of Chinese emperors invading Vietnam only lose it again after death. Though, in his case, it was practically lost to rebels years before he died. But, hey, he sponsored Zheng He's expeditions. Cool, I guess.

[@timothymclean]

@@Nyx_2142 All kings are tyrants. Yongle isn't special.

[@maciejbala477]

It definitely does sound funny tho

[@tanky_8677]

CNA just next week guys!

[@person0192]

Lmfoa, when Vale said “the beaver hat ideology” my mind instantly went to TMBG’s “The Communists Have the Music” and I thought that couldn’t be right. Turns out it was.

[@Virtrial]

My favourite 11 minute(50 minutes uncut) ramblings of making "chamber, cut that bit out" jokes intro; truly an average civ multiplayer experience.

[@Virtrial]

Update: it's the entire video :)

[@unnoticed4571]

Honestly would be a good April Fools joke video, 35 seconds of constant cuts between random clips because Chamber decided to snip the entire video from existence.

[@timothymclean]

@@unnoticed4571 several disjointed clips that each start with "Cut that, Chamber" and no explanation of what was cut.

[@thatguy6919]

The stereotype of an oligarch wearing a beaver hat would probably have to do with felt beaver top hats being expensive status symbols. Fun fact about the process of felting, it would have to be done with mercury often in small poorly ventilated rooms. This created the perfect conditions for what was called “Mad Hatter Disease” which was the neurological damage the mercury fumes which manifested as being quick to anger, memory problems, lurching movements, etc. these symptoms were often confused with intoxication, which was the most common vice the Hatters turned to.

[@timothymclean]

*plutocrat wearing a beaver hat

[@TearsOfLa]

CNA now featuring free CBT (although there is a 12 page instruction manual on how each faction handles it and wether they are a top or bottom)

[@timothymclean]

What does that have to do with cognitive behavior therapy?

[@vaguelyhumanoid7419]

Every video is one step closer to North Africa. You can't keep running away Mr Fisk

[@RedHorseArcher]

In fact, this video accurately depicted my first and only entry into the civilization 6. I appeared in the tundra, there were five barbarian camps around, they spawnlocked me for half of the game, as a result, by the time I was able to fight back, I had ballistas, and all the other players had tanks. In fact, in my perception, Civ6 lives on as "BARBARIC TUNDRA HOLE, DAMNED BARBARIANS WITH GUNS COMING DOWN FROM THE MOUNTAINS!"

[@CarroTyanu]

You all are living a fantasy. There is no Easter Bunny, there is no Tooth Fairy, and there is no Campaign for North Africa!

[@lowfatslaplordofcheese6410]

Can’t wait until Vale and friends play “Campaign for North Africa: The desert war”

[@smiegto]

player: this is the first time i've played x vale: well then this is gonna be an interesting first experience.

[@doctor_loogy]

small thing but I liked the editing on this one, the slight wait before changing a sentence with a pun, the Chamber versions of AltHistHub videos, the side-by-side cut-ins, would love to see more of this going forward

[@gameboom7579]

Valefisk: *clicks civ workshop* "Five, hundred, barbarians"

[@arkane1732]

Can you believe it, CNA just a week ago

[@Streetcleanergaming]

A week ago? That was at least a month

[@NocturnalTyphlosion]

"im going to space, you can have your shitty world" chamber turns civ6 video into stellaris video

[@Ty_-ht1mp]

Knowing that barbs cant kill your capital makes listening to their panic so much funnier.

[@JKSSubstandard]

We cannot have an enjoyable experience today - The Valefisk story

[@objekt2686]

only in a valefisk video can there be 11 minutes of looking at a lobby screen be entertaining

[@ianschlembach2185]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="1531">25:31</a> proof vale listens to “there might be giants”

[@timothymclean]

Some people don't?

[@tacticalassaultanteater9678]

​@@timothymcleaneveryone else in the call

[@jasonpratt5126]

"How much are apes worth these days?" -- I am forced to assume this is a coded reference to a game of Dominion 6 sometime soon.

[@EelooYT]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="305">5:05</a> Can't believe CNA is just a week away

[@aaronho1914]

Can you believe it chat? CNA just a week away!

[@TheStonedZone]

Chamber, cut my steak for me.

[@Solll0]

Total Aztec Victory

[@Claire25252]

Can you confirm CNA next week?

[@qhu3878]

​@@Claire25252 this joke is fucking cancer

[@NovelPond]

@@Claire25252just a week away

[@kiwigaming09]

​@@NovelPondthis is basically a new rubber room with rats that made me crazy joke

[@YouTube]

"if there's one thing i do not do on this youtube channel, it's learn" 🤣🤣

[@Arxtxc]

Never heard truer words

[@robertscott7812]

Oh hey! KZbin watches itself. Who knew?

[@herosvicentegonzalez7872]

i can't believe candy is gone forever, but never forgotten

[@kingpanguan]

Spiff and vale uploading in the same hour is crazy

[@kiwigaming09]

The breaker of systems and the breaker of souls

[@sketchycard887]

vale explained the 'chamber is an editor' joke in this video instead of the stellaris one because chamber was only able to get this video's footage downloaded last friday, if it wasn't raining non stop in scotland this would have been out 3 months ago

[@thewarriorcat3271]

As someone who did video editing for a friend a while back, I really felt each and every "Chamber, cut that out!"

[@charleshill2670]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="1055">17:35</a> the 5 stages of grief segment fucking killed me

[@thetherrannative]

Chamber's text editing is GREAT! Loving this so much!

[@lunatheluma3804]

Seriously, I loved the fake patreon names in the beginning being the subtitles for what people were saying

[@Vanoant]

I had no idea "Aiden" had a real name

[@timothymclean]

What's next? Valefisk isn't Valefisk's legal name?

[@maciejbala477]

@@timothymclean no, that'd be too far, I refuse to believe that!

[@ThunderChanter]

I cant wait for the year closing 6 hour super cut of every time someone said "cut it out" in just this Civ lobby

[@chadcountiss5290]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="1055">17:35</a> Chamber's contributions are much appreciated

[@AnalyzingEverythin]

Aiden will always be Candy in my heart.

[@Trollface-ko2sy]

Campaign for North Africa next week

[@Dobryak359]

And all you would have to do is pick that one leader who has the ability to sacrifice one warrior to gain every barbarian within a 1-tile radius, so you can snowball it and get a ton of units. 🙂

[@Anonymous-ph5nl]

That should've been the video: My friends are fucked and I get to snowball into an empire

[@pedrolmlkzk]

Or the apostle ability

[@nagashtheundyingking4404]

i remember putting on raging barbarians in civ 5 without telling any of the players once man that was fun.

[@LillianKoi]

The mod's image being that specific image in specific makes it all so much funnier to me. It's from a card game called "Sanguosha", almost like BANK! The card's image is supposed to depict an elephant stomping the ground, since the card is literally named "Barbarian's invasion", and the Southern 'Barbarian's' in that period of China had elephants!

[@redhoodraccoon5711]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="360">6:00</a> My friend has been listening to all of these AI songs, and when Chamber and Teddy brought it up I had a PTSD flashback.

[@Remora_7]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="1055">17:35</a> That was the most insane and perfect stages of grief speedrun ive ever seen I had no idea that happened 😭

[@mesa6345]

chamber never even got his shoutout in the community tab... contract voided - big lawsuit

[@TheChaosOneX]

Sid Meiers campaign for north Africa, a classic

[@dicerson9976]

I want a version of this video where chamber actually cuts out all the things people tells him to cut out. It's a double-fake because at the very beginning vale says to cut out the rest of the video XD

[@philipsheehan3754]

I liked that Mavi was in this video. Chamber did a great job cutting her out.

[@jpfeif29]

Finally the CNA video drops

[@KaiCheetah]

No it's coming out next week!

[@cyan.cephalopod]

My favorite part of valefisk’s videos is the hour of lobby time before the game

[@bagelbob8219]

Video Starts here <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="0">00:00</a> and ends here <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="68">1:08</a>:44

[@someonesomebody9952]

This mods really replicates one of the great aspect from the obviously superior civ game, civ beyond earth. Truly making civ 6 more like beyond earth, a true masterpiece is what this is.

[@KR_Kosmik]

rip buig stick

[@Vok250]

Maivi was in this video too, but Chamber cut her in post.

[@LordranRavin]

When the Barbarians are more civilised than you, is it not you who is the Barbarian?

[@SalimShahdiOff]

Roman Empire :

[@nonamejohnjames5141]

civilization but theres no civilization

[@rhystaylor851]

Damn I can't believe Chamber managed to pull it back and win the game, GG

[@nickelpence]

Sooo, what video can I watch next? - this has an interesting thumbnail - it's a Valefisk video?!? - 33 MINUTES AGO!!!?

[@Anonymous-ph5nl]

I want a follow up called the Chamber Cut. Everything that was, in fact, cut posted uncut.

[@Thomas-4222]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="358">5:58</a> ooh the Rivendell set, great choice chamber, great display piece I couldn’t imagine not getting the eye of Sauron one though

[@altermist7016]

civ 1 game when

[@qhu3878]

civ1 30s marathon

[@GwainSagaFanChannel]

Valefisk got early access to Civ7

[@caos8358]

Half of Valefisk patreon money goes to chamber, the other half to the CNA video budget

[@samueltrusik3251]

FINALLY LONGFORM CIV CONTENT! GOD BLESS YOU!

[@ForumArcade]

For real, everything by Obscurest Vinyl is worth listening to. My favourites are the ones involving glue, baptisms, and lamps.

[@jaeusa160]

Finally, Valefisk and Civilization! Warmonger! Warmonger! W-W-W-Wa-Warmonger! Shut up, Civ AI, Gandhi declared war on me, this is justified!