What Matters

[@wheezywaiter]

This is very true. I used to hate sweet potatoes. I love them now.

[@CrixFinne]

Sweet potatoes are just normal potatoes that are extra nice. When you eat them, you absorb their positive energy.

[@NeiroAtOpelCC]

I'm still at the first stage. I'm as old as you, but you seem to have gotten to the next one faster than me.

[@sivanrogel3524]

I hope to one day be able to say this about myself

[@climbingdan]

If you like sweet potatoes, try an oriental yam, yum!

[@abbyncisreid]

Me too and now I buy them literally all the time

[@dancingintherain111]

Hank: **talks for four straight minutes about a really insightful and thought-provoking way of looking at humanity, the things we value, and why we value them** Also hank: Pizzamas fannypack! Fannypack! It's got a zipper in the front! It's got a zipper in the back!!

[@MattPalka]

Important fun succinctly summarized. It's the perfect juxtaposition.

[@tegan6554]

Immediately followed with “that was a lot”

[@ValDominator]

just seemed like word soup to me. lots of filler, no meat

[@hambonefakenamington69]

to quote Hank, "You can do both silly and serious things at the same time. They are not contradictory."

[@dawsonmedlock716]

What song is he parodying?

[@elizabethkoerner9886]

I appreciate that John Mulaney is the picture for "wit".

[@sarahisaraccoon2233]

I scrolled down specifically to find this comment .

[@kathlynarchibald-drew]

Me tooo!

[@elizabethr5270]

+

[@weirdlyweirdwebber]

+

[@kaylagilligan4919]

+

[@leGOAlex3100]

“Everyone suspects himself of at least one of the cardinal virtues” -Nick Carraway, The Great Gatsby

[@RainaRamsay]

++ HIGHLY relevant literary quote

[@stanley1698]

yeah we aren't exactly sure which one but he's definitely got one of them

[@Kikilang60]

@@RainaRamsay I read, "The only virtue he had, was carwardice. It kept him from causing harm. I wish I knew, where I read that.

[@alexperry8561]

I'm reading Great Gatsby for the first time right now, and this was the last line I read before going to bed last night. Woke up this morning and decided to watch this video, just thought it was a strange coincidence!

[@jkwatcher47]

My wife and I were watching a song writing series on Netflix last night. One episode Lin Manuel was explaining Burr’s song ”wait for it” in Hamilton. It got me thinking about how Burr’s character comes off to me about how much he both wants to and does not want to be more like Hamilton. That the song “wait for it” is him trying to explain how his culture/family instilled a value of waiting for the right moment and Hamilton just gets to do whatever her wants. I might be projecting because I identify with that so much.

[@N7P2R2]

this was beautiful and insightful. I totally identify with all those thoughts as well which is why it was so splendid to see someone in the comments voice my exact thought process

[@rekindle7602]

I think all art criticism involves some degree of projecting; which is to say: we believe in the stories we find ourselves in. Finding ourselves in fictional or fictionalized representations is part of how art creates meaning.

[@hagridscoat]

I watched that yesterday as well and was thinking the same thing!

[@Efflorescentey]

Which show!! I must see it!! What are your thoughts on Alexander Hamilton voting for (SPOILERS) Thomas Jefferson? My bf and I always argue about if he was right. I think it was obscene and petty that A.Ham didn’t vote for his ‘friend’. He KNOWS he doesn’t like Jefferson. My bf always says it’s not about that. My bf says people would rather vote for someone who they know the values of, even if they’re bad values. He says voting for someone with unknown values (If you stand for nothing burr, what will you fall for?!) is like a mystery card that could be so much worse than the option you have at hand. I’m the opposite... I think that you already KNOW one is bad, the other could be bad too in which case you’re in the same situation as before, or they could be really good. I think it’s worth the risk. Can you tell that he’s a conservative person and I’m a risk taker? 😂

[@mollystringer6273]

Burr is the most relatable character in hamilton for me because of that song. It explains (not excuses) his behavior so well and you understand where he's coming from. I also may project onto it just a bit because I understand it so well.

[@Julesdoesstuff]

“You, mortal beings, are the instrument by which the universe cares. If you choose to care, then the universe cares.” -Brennan Lee Mulligan, Dimension 20

[@k54ltyd28]

"There is no justice in the laws of Nature, Headmaster, no term for fairness in the equations of motion. The universe is neither evil, nor good, it simply does not care. The stars don't care, or the Sun, or the sky. But they don't have to! We care! There is light in the world, and it is us!" - HPMOR

[@emmywillow6599]

HOOT GROWL!

[@aria9885]

seeing a brennan quote here in the vlogbrothers comment section made me smile ahhh!! hoot growl!

[@TheDashingday]

OMYGOD YES i am here for the intersection of these two communities

[@francislally6066]

+

[@natanmaurer3510]

John Mulaney for wit? Hell yeah. Show that tall child the respect he deserves.

[@KansasViking]

That tall child needs some rest if you ask me

[@KansasViking]

@@redfrog9717 i mean i am one of 2 people in my class of 36 that know who he is and I'm willing to bet in my high school, in the middle of kansas, of 120, there are maybe 6 of us who know John Mullaney (aside from me talking about him). I would say he's well known but not if you don't watch stand up or aren't in certain social groups

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

Respect? He's a monster! He killed Princess Diana and got away with it!

[@manyapandey953]

i know love him!

[@saadiqahdavids9736]

@@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721 Not to mention what he did to Tyler

[@VivianDelphine]

“These things are not carved in copper” Is this about pennies again?

[@yaelmorin9017]

VERY good callback

[@CorwynGC]

What do pennies have to do with copper? ;-)

[@MattPalka]

Sometimes I think the only thing John might hare more than pennies is international shipping regulations.

[@Efflorescentey]

+

[@whateverppl1229]

no, it's about pizza, didn't you read his shirt?

[@oshoprior5022]

"We believe in the stories we find ourselves in" That's going in the quotes collection

[@MattPalka]

What we rehearse shapes our lives for sure.

[@MattPalka]

@@sacha7958 I've been watching all the videos from each date since about the beginning of the year and putting stuff on a google doc, if anyone is interested!

[@MattPalka]

@@sacha7958 More of a notes dump than organized and all, but here: docs.google.com/document/d/1BdW1XOkyAYJzbo1lteubo2tqRrbpR0gvmpQM5VaQ3ro/edit?usp=sharing

[@MattPalka]

@@sacha7958 It's not everything said in the videos, but it's my favorite things said. Thanks!

[@trace_tomorrow]

The pan down to almost skin colored pants made me avert my eyes for a moment because I briefly though we were seeing Hank in a pizzamas speedo.

[@jobriq5]

that's a good punishment idea

[@charliespinoza1966]

I found it momentarily horrifying, even tho it was obviously nothing nefarious! 😂 It tricked my brain!

[@zagarachan]

Glad it wasn't just me.

[@melissahood6449]

It just happened, and I thought, oh! I was warned! Not a speedo!!

[@ThousandTimesBefore]

Me, too!!!

[@zoggerweibchen]

Man... you really hit the nail on the head with "if someone threatens that (the traits you believe are valuable about yourself), it can feel like an assault". It explains really well why I felt shit for days when I found out my supervisor for my thesis thinks I am unorganized. I really think I am organized, and even though things did not go always go well during my thesis, hearing it is "because you are unorganized" put a huuuge dent into my self-esteem. Actually it still does a bit today (1 year post thesis)

[@RainaRamsay]

Yeah, it really explains some of my reactions. Like why I feel it's very important to explain that I _did_ think about that possible consequence, I'm just _stupid_ and I thought about it _wrong_ . People think they're being nice by saying "It's fine, you're not dumb, you just didn't consider this angle," and have no idea how much that hurts because _I am a person who thinks about all the angles and you can't take that away from me!_

[@JC-id3vw]

Title: "What matters" Prominent text in thumbnail: "Pizza" Checks out.

[@RainaRamsay]

LOL

[@GLaDTheresCake]

Yes! I used to think I was a guy, turns out I'm a girl!! And I have John and you to partly thank for that, and the amazing nerdfighter community for being so welcoming and accepting, and helping me explore my identity! So from the bottom of my heart, thank you! And I hope there will be a lot more positive development in my life now that I can see a future for myself to be happy in. I wish you all a wonderful human journey, and I hope you all stay curious, about yourself, your role in society, and others!

[@allisonavery7273]

+++

[@RainaRamsay]

[@bluedwarf1699]

If youd like to learn about an awesome tran-woman, look up Tsgt Anguiano. She actually taught me my job in the Air Force!

[@yenilopez2320]

“We believe the stories we find ourselves in” it’s super interesting and real. Reading anthropology and sociology related books gave a lot of perspective about what “we” (we as in western modern societies) value and see as virtuous or even straight up “good”, and how other cultures might seem to value the opposite, however, I think the trap it’s that... that just because it’s different doesn’t mean it’s the opposite.

[@MattPalka]

GREAT point. I like to see it as certain cultures have certain values at the core, like the nesting dolls set. Different centers are not opposites, just at a higher intensity.

[@yenilopez2320]

@@MattPalka yes! And also different doesn’t mean “bad” :)

[@melneedsherspace]

At first I was like, "Wow I really needed this video 6 years ago." And then I was like "Wait I really need this video NOW" Great video Hank!

[@RainaRamsay]

+

[@mnmder]

That sigh of relief when halfway through the video we get some examples instead of vague mentions

[@Efflorescentey]

+

[@Liz_Crowley]

See: "gifted" kids having their identity being "good at school"

[@Liz_Crowley]

In conclusion, don't put all your eggs in one basket

[@yaelmorin9017]

did *not* have to smite me like that

[@gmcnabb174]

yup. took me a while to unlearn that one.

[@Emily-un1wp]

I'm in this picture and I don't like it

[@isabellareed4389]

I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.

[@unlurkingsentinel6872]

Frequently, you guys make a video that is so beautiful and/or important that I'm strongly tempted to share it with others... ...and then something like that outro happens. I respect your commitment to not growing this channel.

[@untappedinkwell]

+++

[@3amdr3am]

This video is perfectly balanced 😌

[@kashishkukreja5904]

The eerie stifling feeling you have when you really want to have a trait knowing that it's not the end of the world if you don't get it but because you have replayed the same old narrative in your head that you want it, you deserve it, it really takes a toll on your self worth, when you can't get it. It's like everyone believed I could do that, I believed I could get that, didn't I have it in me?? Perhaps we sometimes, more often than not see ourselves through the eyes of someone else. Thanks for the video Hank!

[@yaelmorin9017]

"we believe in the stories we find ourselves in", a.k.a. "we accept the love we think we deserve", vol. 2

[@tammymccaslin4787]

So that’s why I avoid all love while simultaneously wishing for it. Good to know.

[@ganseytheiiird]

This is exactly the advice I needed right now!! I've been writing my own stories, and I've needed to find ways to write nuanced characters! Thanks for this!

[@littlellama7753]

"Carved in copper" huh, haven't heard that one before

[@candycoatedcactus]

I am in full tinfoil hat mode here. Does Hank ever write clues like John does?

[@DarkkestNite]

copper is very ductile - if it were carved you could (depending on the form/shape) hammer it out and then carve it again. i think we're overthinking what's probably a malapropism, but it's an interesting thought exercise to take the metaphor to its full implications.

[@mariewikiwaka3851]

@@DarkkestNite Came to say exactly this.

[@azialifaziz6652]

It's a phrase that has been set in stone!

[@3rkid]

Hank has entertained the idea of selling rods of copper with information carved into it and being buried with them after death since they would last for eons. I felt like that was relevant lol

[@gigirauchut1882]

When I write my characters, I don't think I ever considered the question of what matters to them. I write their characters and all their details so I understand them, so I don't make them inconsistent. I can't believe I never thought of writing those details from their perspective instead of writing a case file on them

[@gnarthdarkanen7464]

I might suggest you take a look into TTRPG's, and more specifically "Character Creation"... In an RPG, each Player writes up their own "Player Character" (or PC) and some systems go so far as to include, quirks, mental and physical advantages and disadvantages, back stories, wants and needs and most valued or treasured things and people... The reason to check out a few, is that there's worth while notions to all of them. It's no reason to stop or drop whatever you're doing, but if you peruse a few systems, say... D&D (popular), GURPS (universal/adaptable), and Cyberpunk... you can start deriving or constructing your own list of aspects to prioritize for each character you make, and have a good cross-reference for developing a profile and then adapting it through the story-arc (with notes and additions) as you go. Where I use dice to determine much of what goes on in a storytelling game, you can use numbers to set approximate priorities for writing independently of dice or rules-structure to suit your needs as a writer. Just a thought. It might be no more than a chance to WAY overcomplicate the process. I just think you might find some inspiration for your profiling... ;o)

[@gnarthdarkanen7464]

@@ChrisJBT2 At least in the storytelling territory, I think it's just a bit higher quality in Character Design and Progress to keep tabs... Basically, as you go through life, something that might seem contradictory or even hypocritical could come about because you've grown and changed... SO as storytellers, we "grow" our Characters to become someone different over time, allowing for a little of the contradiction to express that growth or change in paradigm... Only we don't always get to directly state that they've grown or changed because of "X" factors... It's up to fans to go back or remember the circumstances that changed the Character... unless of course, we're cultivating a true hypocrite or delusional/psycho/etc... a nefarious S.o.B... ;o)

[@jakedixonmusic]

Hank, I'm vibing with you right now. This was some good wisdom. I like to think of myself as kind, selfless, and helpful. Whenever I find out that I've hurt somebody's feelings, I feel like those fundamental pieces of who I am and what I stand for have been suddenly removed from my life. It feels like the end of the world, even if it was a simple thing. I supposed I need to remind myself that, like everyone around me, I make mistakes. And that doesn't mean I can't be the person I want to be, it just means I'm human :)

[@kateh7484]

This reminds me that being a global community is hard but important.

[@MattPalka]

+

[@TheKopakah]

Jup, and this is the internet, just imagine how much effort it takes to do correct in the real world. The world feals real big and heavy at times, too heavy for one person to think about.

[@jadedcatlady]

Brilliant. Man, I wish I could just sit around and listen to you and John. I mean, I do, via Vlogbrothers and Dear John and Hank. I mean in person. I love convos like this about subjects like this. Thanks for sharing.

[@jayfaisa6016]

I'm writing a novel myself and there's a scene where a catholic nun explains to an orphan on the verge of her death, "You… You can fight for a less miserable world. A world where no child is an orphan. A world that values love. Because that’s all that matters. All of this, All of it, All is for love.”

[@TrueFreedom4kindness]

Jay Faisa that’s beautiful

[@allisonavery7273]

Amen

[@shreyavarshney5103]

this really touched me in some way. I’d love to read ur novel if u publish it some day

[@morganherring6958]

Who would have known clicking on an older video would lead to me hearing exactly what I needed to hear from someone right now. Thanks Hank.

[@trevadetrev]

"These things are not carved in copper." Interesting choice of material. Were you trying to use symbolism by subverting the "carved in stone" saying? Copper is an interesting choice if so. I really really liked this video, Hank. I think you're right about how people find and define self-worth. I'm at my most anxious when I look at myself versus my self-expectations and find myself lacking in a given field. Thanks!

[@zt1071]

Scribed in Steel?

[@rekindle7602]

Inscribed in iron?

[@trevadetrev]

@@zt1071 It's made more interesting because he said they're not carved in copper. Copper is ductile and conducts electricity, and it's not particularly hard. Not being carved in copper means it's even easier to change than it would be otherwise. Though we're probably overthinking a phrase that he didn't put that much thought into.

[@Whatwhat3434]

trevadetrev I thought the same! Copper is pretty ductile and I think that was exactly his point

[@ThatAnarhistBastard]

Reference to the mistborn maybe?

[@alexistai5456]

Thank you for sharing this. It’s exactly what I’ve been needing to hear. As I’ve gotten older, experienced more things, had world views change... lost friends over those changes... it’s been hard not to feel sometimes like I matter less because I care about different things now. This helped to remind me that it’s okay-and inevitable-to change.

[@Noah-yj9uu]

Me and my friend just frantically searched for information because we thought you missed a day! Time zones are confusing. But my phone tells me John’s video was three days ago? We’re just glad you’ve ended our discussion and we can go to sleep now.

[@BlueManIan]

For last week and this week Hank and John are doing a video every weekday like they did when they started their channel in 2007.

[@woodfur00]

It's Monday, they didn't do videos for the weekend.

[@Efflorescentey]

I had the same thought!

[@Efflorescentey]

woodfur00 It’s Tuesday in parts of the world, hence the confusion

[@rosa8062]

Hank: *singing fannypack* Me: *sweats in uncomfortable British*

[@Amaiguri]

The linguistic distinction is amusing because it 1) Primarily refers to a different part of the body in American English and 2) Is a goofy thing your grandma says to refer to her buttocks as opposed to a ultra vulgar thing... This is great XD

[@IrisGlowingBlue]

@@Amaiguri I agree with you about the distinction being funny! At the same time find it super weird that like, culturally, whether US-American or Canadian (myself) or British,, talking about butts is fine but talking about vaginas is vulgar .... And by "weird" I mean "misogynistic"

[@marycansing]

Especially “it’s got a zipper in the front and a zipper in the back!”

[@hannahjohnson4885]

@GlowingBlueIris Though I agree in part, I think the term vulgar here is referring less to the talk of vaginas, and more to the MANNER in which they are talked about. Brits, correct me if I’m wrong, but fannypack is a distasteful or crass way of referring to something that should be spoken of more respectfully. Kindof like the p-word in the States. (But that’s just a guess).

[@lijohnyoutube101]

Grandmas don’t refer to their butts in England as fannies?? -language is so odd

[@lawrencecalablaster568]

I like Hank’s shirt, though, as one of his songs mentions, it doesn’t really matter because he tries not to say too much with his clothes.

[@chrisbell2865]

As someone who has some pretty big issues with self worth and confidence, this video spoke to me a lot. I already know full well that being down on yourself not only makes an impact on your happiness, but it makes you a less desirable person to be around. I'm ignorant of what people find good about me, and that hurts them. And no one wants to hear you constantly talking about how crap you are, regardless of their desire to support you and raise you up. The truth is I place value in so many things that I don't have, and as a result of my poor self worth, I lack the motivation to become better because the struggle to be better is such a long road, it's easier to give up before you've even taken the first step. Your words have shown me that I need to sit down and really examine my values and think about the ones that I can strive for, the ones I need to let go of and the ones that maybe aren't as futile as they seem. So thank you, and keep up the good work :)

[@honore.b.]

As someone named after an attribute this is incredibly relevant to me, honor has lots of cultural significances and I have had to live to my own definition of it yet clear enough that it becomes one of the associations with me.

[@mariacargille1396]

Sidenote, if you enjoy fairytale retellings at all, you should read Beauty, by Robin McKinley, an excellent Beauty and the Beast retelling. Beauty's given name in that story is Honor, and she feels differently about it at different times in her life. It's worth a read. :)

[@honore.b.]

@@mariacargille1396 Thank you, I remember reading that years ago but it has been so long I don't remember much. I definitely should reread it. I just looked up the books I have of hers. Edit: I have read The Hero and the Crown as well as The Blue Sword and a retelling of beauty and the beast, I found that one was a random treat at my high school library. I just googled the book and remembered the cover. Thanks for the little walk down my own memory lane.

[@semaj_5022]

That's a really interesting perspective. I've always wondered how it must feel at times to have your name be a trait like that, or a feeling. Honor, Faith, Grace, Hope, Serenity, Justice, etc. It must make those terms take on a completely different meaning and I've often wondered if it causes the person to feel the need at times in their life to live up to the expectations laid out by the trait behind their name.

[@honore.b.]

@@semaj_5022 yeah esspecially since everyone has an idea and a description of someone with honor but not a quite clear cut definition that doesn't also use descriptive terms or loose ideas of class or society. Other groups like hopes, harmony, faiths, charities, or other names like that are more common so they seem to be less associated with keeping up their names in my experience.

[@semaj_5022]

@@honore.b. That makes sense. I think since in so many cultures honor is such a deeply ingrained trait to embody, but it means something a bit different to each person's, that has to really mess with people's expectations, and your own. I've met one person named Honor that I can remember, but several people with those other names, so you're right there. I'm sure they do still encounter occasional difficulties with self image because of thr names. Hopefully you've grown to have a good idea of who you are and what that means though. Also I really like Honor as a name, implications aside. Super aesthetically pleasing. :)

[@nicolenbbw7947]

This discussion has probably been the biggest aspect of my life over the last several years as I've become more and more disabled. I used to value being resilient, intelligent, and an *inspiration* and I lost all of those things. I have been unable to work for almost 2 years, had to change my major and career away from chemical engineering and have lost my ability to think clearly and do almost anything physical (even take my dogs for a walk) I've had to redefine what matters. In a society that relies so heavily on what you do for work, it has often felt like I am a worthless drain, it has been a grieving process but consciously redefining these positive attributes that I am still able to have is what has kept me alive.

[@brookethebook5692]

This is just my opinion but I truly think that one of the best traits for a person to have but also the most difficult is to look past what your life experience has been to understand others. To try to see into other people's life and give everyone you meet kindness and attention in the effort to understand is a trait that few know about and even fewer can actually achieve. I hope to be one of those people that achieve it. No one's going to be understanding and give that kind of thought to everyone all the time, it's pretty close to impossible. But the trick is to try. I want to try.

[@MattPalka]

A weird word for it, but I like to all this the ability to melt and weave vulnerably into other people's lives. To really see and hear them well. Glad to hear you want to try. I do too. I aim to try this so much.

[@sam-the-moomin]

Thanks for the advice Hank, I’m a senior in college and it’s very easy right now to feel like I am useless and just kind of going along of what’s expected of me. I feel very invaluable and it’s been rough, I’ll try to focus in what I find valuable in myself (even though I don’t think I’m the valuable most of the time lol)

[@kefie1029384756]

My whole life I've been striving for something. Good grades, good college, graduation. Each of these were easily measurable and there were well-defined steps to achieving them. Now, I've graduated in the middle of a pandemic, and the thing that I'm striving for - a job that I'm qualified for - seems so nebulous and out of reach. There is no one path to getting there. And as each day passes where I feel more lost than ever, I have to give myself new things to strive for. I strive to run 10k, I strive to decorate my Animal Crossing island for a Halloween party, I strive to draw a picture of my DND character. The only reason I get out of bed in the morning is if I feel I can make progress on an achievable goal. I will job search for a certain amount of time. I will go on a run. I will learn a new skill. Etc. Without these little goals, I'd be lost.

[@Kyasakoamy]

Many of the things I believe in or identify with have changed in the last few years, and at times it's felt very destabilising to my sense of self. This was a good reminder that that's okay. Thanks Hank, I'm going to be pondering this one for a bit.

[@SomeAdam]

It's interesting how traits that are valued in some cultures are actually seen as negatives in other cultures - for example, individualism is generally highly values in Western cultures whereas it's devalued in Eastern cultures (I know this is a huge oversimplification, but I think it's still interesting to point out.)

[@clairelim7109]

+ definitely! it goes the other way too; being collectivistic is asian cultures is good but is frowned upon in the west (obviously this is a huge oversimplification). for anyone interested, you can look up Hofstede's cultural dimensions. it's a model where each country is assigned a score for 6 different elements of culture, and you can play around with it to compare different countries. Hofstede's theory is problematic in a lot of ways but it's still interesting.

[@Efflorescentey]

Something I’ve found from travelling is politeness at all costs is valued a lot in many countries (ahem British). In other countries, it’s more blunt honesty that’s valued. I struggle because I’m BLUNT AF. I’m always super honest and really nice, but any amount of bluntness comes off as rudeness in some places 🙈 Ps. No shade intended to England, I have been there many times and loved the country and the people!

[@narwhalofdeath3000]

I think this video really taught me something about loving myself. I watched it on Monday night and then again Tuesday morning before therapy. Thank you for sharing, Hank.

[@km1dash6]

First thing I thought when clicking on this video was "that's a nice shirt. I wonder if it's new." Hank says "a nice new shirt," like he read my mind.

[@TheLyricsgirl5]

I was just talking about something akin to this with my therapist. You helped me realize something important. So thank you

[@AverytheCubanAmerican]

What matters most is John and Hank are the saviors of 2020

[@averyatkinson862]

you are cringe

[@sumayyahhussain6212]

Thanks Hank. I’m one of the many people who really needed to hear this right now. Thank you

[@niremgucin]

"Carved in copper" a good idiom for a good message

[@sarahe6137]

This is so insightful! It helps me understand why I feel like my self-worth varies depending on situation and circumstance. It’s reassuring to hear that I shouldn’t define my worth based on societal ideas of success.

[@Sandraudiga333]

So this episode really struck a chord with me. I grew up in a not great household and was constantly berated for not measuring up to a fixed goalpost of "intelligence" as my so called parents called it. I really internalized that for a very long time. If I failed to immediately succeed in something I gave up because intelligence as had been demonstrated to me growing up was fixed, and if I didn't understand it immediately, how would I ever? And it was what I thought was my defining feature; I wasn't popular, well-liked, attractive, or particularly exceptional at sports. But I was **smart**. Or so I thought at the time. Let me tell you, having the one thing you value about yourself completely ripped away will really destroy you. I was in a horrible motorcycle wreck in 2015. I suffered a coup-contrecoup brain injury and was placed in a coma for seven days. I had a hole drilled into my skull to relieve the pressure from my brain swelling. I was technically dead for two minutes immediately after the wreck. I tried to go back to college for biochemistry with an emphasis on medicine five months later. I failed every class I took. And I kept sinking money into college, thinking that if I couldn't do the one thing that made me special, then what was the point? I tried to kill myself more than once. I didn't really see any other option. In the eyes of my narcissist mother, if I wasn't special, if I wasn't **smart**, I was worth nothing. And back then I thought the same. But now, I'm trying to actually find myself. I'm trying to define the other things about myself that I value. I guess the point to this is don't put all your eggs into one basket, as it were. It's easy to hyperfocus on one aspect of yourself and think THAT, that one thing, is what defines you, and that if you didn't have that, you'd be lost. But I'm slowly learning that isn't true. A person is so much more than one quality. More than their job, their schooling, their productivity. People are their desire to learn, to create, even just to BE. I might be able to articulate the notion, but I'm far from learning it for myself. Have a good day, Hank.

[@mothboy9137]

I used to find so much value in skill, and I hated myself for so many years because I failed at so many things. But over the years I've learned to value myself because I am kind, because I'm a good listener, because I love deeply and unconditionally. Not to say my own self love is conditional on these things, but I am proud to be the person I am today.

[@untappedinkwell]

I love this. Thank you for sharing!

[@RynJorgensen]

Damn, is this why I feel so awful when people are angry with me? I like to believe I am thoughtful and kind, and so when people express that I have hurt them, it makes me feel just absolutely worthless. I'm sure everyone feels a bit bad when they realize that they've hurt someone else, but ... Even people who are basically strangers and probably don't give me another thought after expressing their anger, I feel deeply unhappy for days afterwards.

[@turtlecactus]

Thank you Hank for helping me reflect and remember my worth and value.

[@TheShaleco]

I’m loving the pistachio Hank images

[@kimmykimmie]

+

[@itsjoereed]

+

[@Jessica-mo7ry]

+

[@hilag1217]

+

[@maxc166]

+

[@lorenal.c9647]

You cant even imagine how much i needed this video. Just the other night i was on a (zoom) call with a friend and i told her how weird i found how different people find different values more "important" than others when it comes to becoming a better human being. I mean, almost by definition, they are the core of our existance, and how good or bad we consider ourselves as a person depends on our self-evaluation measuring these values. So, in my case, its a REAL shock when i find that others have different core values. But as you explained in the video, they're completely subjective. Just need a reality check every now and then :)

[@Sam-hi4ce]

hank refusing to interface with the fact that he is so punished is hilarious

[@trace_tomorrow]

+

[@candycoatedcactus]

Are they still doing punishments? I thought they stopped that for some reason.

[@petermeece1452]

As someone struggling through my last semester at engineering school who was told there would always be a market that had jobs for me I really needed to hear that adaptability is something that matters. I may not have done well the whole time here, I may not have been consistent, I might have been a jerk sometimes and blew off my friends, but I always say that I have survived. I survived this long and if this school has forged me into someone more capable of survival and adapting to my environment then I guess that is something I can really be proud of, even if I didn't get the highest scores and didn't have that good old time people talk about. I at least made it through. I might not have the words to say it well or tell you exactly why, but this, this channel matters to me.

[@kimmykimmie]

if i put an ad for my shirt would you notice pistachio hank? Hello friends its week 2 of pizzamas where you can get shirts for the next week only! Circle john is mine and also um who likes pistachios

[@annelowry357]

I’m a 64 year old white woman. A single mother of two wonderful grown children all in the time of COVID-19. I also have four incurable diseases, led by cancer. Over and over again the message I’m getting is that I’m disposable. I should stay home, maybe forever, to make life easier for those less vulnerable. Don’t get me wrong I’ve been basically at home since February with a trip to the hospital being an exciting day! This is hard and taxing to someone that is s as steady taxed. Finding inner strength is what I do but fighting those that just want me to shut up and die is hard.

[@nerdfighter2004]

Technically, everything matters, except energy. Edit: I guess e=mc proves energy matters

[@MazharHuq]

Energy left the chat.

[@vlogbrothers]

I mean...Einstein proved that even energy matters!

[@rekindle7602]

Theoretically, even energy matters if you slow it down enough

[@zettagotbored9341]

They are intrinsically linked by good old E=mc^2

[@TheRealKyraProductions]

If everything matters, why not invent something that doesn’t matter?

[@waylonoconner9121]

Patience and kindness, traits that should always be valued.

[@birichinaxox9937]

This is the hard bit when you a raised in truma and never finding a stable consisten group to help validate that value.

[@yaelmorin9017]

[@stephgreis705]

I'm about to make the transition from being a woman working full-time in a largely male-dominated field to being a first time mum planning to stay home with the baby for the first year of their life (... I'm not American, so a year's worth of maternity leave isn't unusual where I live :p) and I really, really appreciate your focus on human adaptability! The world at large is changing rapidly and my own world is at the same time, and at times that feels like I'm not sure anymore who I am, who I'm meant to be or who I want to be - so to see value in the ability to change and adapt is really helpful. DFTBA :)

[@chloeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee]

yo hank look at this amazing thing tuataria made

[@belgarathdm6376]

@ClaraTheCoder on Twitter: twitter.com/clarathecoder/status/1314962091153993728?s=21 @e10ritz on Twitter: twitter.com/e10ritz/status/1314725564989702149?s=21 u/czmj on reddit: www.reddit.com/r/nerdfighters/comments/j8qkdi/tuataria_didnt_want_hank_to_feel_left_out_of_the/? kcustomshoes on TikTok: vm.tiktok.com/ZMJPtgKJT/ @readingtoescapepresent on Instagram: instagram.com/p/CGN0cqVgYls/?igshid=xr2fmvn82bz1 And the original, made by Lucas on Tuataria, and named by Chloe BC: cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/357610970228588545/764277303328243712/20201009_190207.png BONUS!! made by @ClaraTheCoder as well: discord.com/channels/273689397675687940/357610970228588545/764707884721373234

[@hilag1217]

+

[@itsjoereed]

+

[@kimmykimmie]

@Erik Hetler @ClaraTheCoder on Twitter: twitter.com/clarathecoder/status/1314962091153993728?s=21 @e10ritz on Twitter: twitter.com/e10ritz/status/1314725564989702149?s=21 u/czmj on reddit: www.reddit.com/r/nerdfighters/comments/j8qkdi/tuataria_didnt_want_hank_to_feel_left_out_of_the/? kcustomshoes on TikTok: vm.tiktok.com/ZMJPtgKJT/ @readingtoescapepresent on Instagram: instagram.com/p/CGN0cqVgYls/?igshid=xr2fmvn82bz1 And the original, made by Lucas on Tuataria, and named by Chloe BC: discord.com/channels/273689397675687940/357610970228588545/764277305916653578 BONUS!! made by @ClaraTheCoder as well: discord.com/channels/273689397675687940/357610970228588545/764707884721373234

[@kimmykimmie]

+

[@QsPhilosophy]

What Hank said at the end there reminds me of a quote, I can’t remember who said it, but it was something like “Humans are fantastic at changing to meet a new situation and then pretending things have always been that way.”

[@gabiwasabi2249]

This video makes me want to reread An Absolutely Remarkable Thing and A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor. Hanks videos seem to hit me differently since reading them

[@CalvinandJordan]

Thank you Hank, for all the mental health support you give the world 🤍

[@broderick7932]

[USA] National Coming Out Day was yesterday & this is really timely.

[@untappedinkwell]

+++

[@katiegriffitts4311]

I’ve been mind-churning this exact idea for a while, thanks Hank for articulating it for me.

[@hilag1217]

Pistachio!

[@hilag1217]

@ClaraTheCoder on Twitter: twitter.com/clarathecoder/status/1314962091153993728?s=21 @e10ritz on Twitter: twitter.com/e10ritz/status/1314725564989702149?s=21 u/czmj on reddit: www.reddit.com/r/nerdfighters/comments/j8qkdi/tuataria_didnt_want_hank_to_feel_left_out_of_the/? kcustomshoes on TikTok: vm.tiktok.com/ZMJPtgKJT/ @readingtoescapepresent on Instagram: instagram.com/p/CGN0cqVgYls/?igshid=xr2fmvn82bz1 And the original, made by Lucas on Tuataria, and named by Chloe BC: discord.com/channels/273689397675687940/357610970228588545/764277305916653578 BONUS!! made by @ClaraTheCoder as well: discord.com/channels/273689397675687940/357610970228588545/764707884721373234

[@itsjoereed]

+

[@belgarathdm6376]

@ClaraTheCoder on Twitter: twitter.com/clarathecoder/status/1314962091153993728?s=21 @e10ritz on Twitter: twitter.com/e10ritz/status/1314725564989702149?s=21 u/czmj on reddit: www.reddit.com/r/nerdfighters/comments/j8qkdi/tuataria_didnt_want_hank_to_feel_left_out_of_the/? kcustomshoes on TikTok: vm.tiktok.com/ZMJPtgKJT/ @readingtoescapepresent on Instagram: instagram.com/p/CGN0cqVgYls/?igshid=xr2fmvn82bz1 And the original, made by Lucas on Tuataria, and named by Chloe BC: cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/357610970228588545/764277303328243712/20201009_190207.png BONUS!! made by @ClaraTheCoder as well: discord.com/channels/273689397675687940/357610970228588545/764707884721373234

[@kimmykimmie]

@ClaraTheCoder on Twitter: twitter.com/clarathecoder/status/1314962091153993728?s=21 @e10ritz on Twitter: twitter.com/e10ritz/status/1314725564989702149?s=21 u/czmj on reddit: www.reddit.com/r/nerdfighters/comments/j8qkdi/tuataria_didnt_want_hank_to_feel_left_out_of_the/? kcustomshoes on TikTok: vm.tiktok.com/ZMJPtgKJT/ @readingtoescapepresent on Instagram: instagram.com/p/CGN0cqVgYls/?igshid=xr2fmvn82bz1 And the original, made by Lucas on Tuataria, and named by Chloe BC: discord.com/channels/273689397675687940/357610970228588545/764277305916653578 BONUS!! made by @ClaraTheCoder as well: discord.com/channels/273689397675687940/357610970228588545/764707884721373234

[@xylo6890]

cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/357610970228588545/765340669115236362/image0.jpg

[@clevi7963]

I love vlogbrothers because it provides a community that engages in thoughtful reflection about life!! Also I really needed to hear this today, thank you Hank. The way I’m currently imagining how I should be is making me miserable, I think it will be very difficult to change this, but I’m working on it

[@miacoss9809]

We stan using stock photos with people of colour in them! Thanks Hank!

[@birichinaxox9937]

Love this analogy

[@Bee-nw6df]

Reminds me of a series of tweets I saw by Lindsay, where she was talking abt how distressing it is to have one’s self worth & “reason for mattering” tied primarily to one’s productivity & achievements, which I related to. Anyways, loved your nuanced take on this Hank, & also the song at the end was great 😁

[@kateh7484]

I love your shirt Hank 😍👍🏻...I typed this and then you commented on your shirt 🤣

[@francescakyanda9182]

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing is one of my favorite books and I'm really proud to be a Nerdfighter (even if I'm a newbie as of this summer)

[@dorissaclaire]

I was really hoping Hank would tell us why each of the ABFE gang thinks they matter 🥺👉👈

[@evelynmace9504]

hmm, i think i would say: 1. april: beauty & being chosen 2. maya: intellect 3. andy: humor just my guesses :) what’re yours?

[@katiegriffitts4311]

I remember April briefly talking about this in AFBE

[@CaptainPIanet]

@@evelynmace9504 I feel like Andy better represents nuance

[@mexDpeace]

I feel being friends with people that matter is a big one for Andy, too. And I think there's more to maya than intelligence but I am not sure how I'd put it. Awareness? Kindness?

[@dorissaclaire]

@@evelynmace9504 I’m not sure if you’re asking what I think theirs are or what mine are, but the answer to both is that I’m still thinking about it. I think I matter because I am loyal and bold? I agree that Maya values intelligence, but I think kindness is also important to her! Maybe being respectful or responsible? Honestly I think Andy and April both want to be seen as needed/ wanted by others. Maybe that’s being vital?

[@guitarsean]

This is pretty much the last 2 years of my therapy sessions in a 4 minute video. It's simple to understand and a lot of hard work to live.

[@ariannawright7586]

Hank, yesterday there was a comment on johns video about you getting a punishment for uploading a video related to Rax on the vlogbrothers .... is this... I mean I don’t want to get excited without confirmation.

[@rosianna]

I’ve been thinking about adaptability a lot over the last few months! I loved the framing of this within personal/communal values, left me with a lot of food for thought. Also it’s a GREAT SHIRT I want it.

[@shookings]

This is one of the most important messages I've ever heard. Thank you Hank.

[@aidantwidale5768]

I'm confused by the pistachio comments. Am I missing something

[@itsjoereed]

It's a chaotically organized attempt to get Hank to acknowledge pistachio Hank artwork

[@maxc166]

@ClaraTheCoder on Twitter: twitter.com/clarathecoder/status/1314962091153993728?s=21 @e10ritz on Twitter: twitter.com/e10ritz/status/1314725564989702149?s=21 u/czmj on reddit: www.reddit.com/r/nerdfighters/comments/j8qkdi/tuataria_didnt_want_hank_to_feel_left_out_of_the/? kcustomshoes on TikTok: vm.tiktok.com/ZMJPtgKJT/ @readingtoescapepresent on Instagram: instagram.com/p/CGN0cqVgYls/?igshid=xr2fmvn82bz1 And the original, made by Lucas on Tuataria, and named by Chloe BC: cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/357610970228588545/764277303328243712/20201009_190207.png BONUS!! made by @ClaraTheCoder as well: discord.com/channels/273689397675687940/357610970228588545/764707884721373234

[@aidantwidale5768]

@@itsjoereed I think it might work

[@hilag1217]

@@itsjoereed +

[@kimmykimmie]

@@hilag1217 +

[@babischwanke]

I just... I just love to get into this kinds of abstracts line of thoughts with Hank. Thank you!

[@disdehcet]

Thank you Hank! I needed to hear this so badly today.

[@itsjoereed]

pistachio

[@fadingofthestar]

@ClaraTheCoder on Twitter: twitter.com/clarathecoder/status/1314962091153993728?s=21 @e10ritz on Twitter: twitter.com/e10ritz/status/1314725564989702149?s=21 u/czmj on reddit: www.reddit.com/r/nerdfighters/comments/j8qkdi/tuataria_didnt_want_hank_to_feel_left_out_of_the/? kcustomshoes on TikTok: vm.tiktok.com/ZMJPtgKJT/ @readingtoescapepresent on Instagram: instagram.com/p/CGN0cqVgYls/?igshid=xr2fmvn82bz1 And the original, made by Lucas on Tuataria, and named by Chloe BC: cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/357610970228588545/764277303328243712/20201009_190207.png BONUS!! made by @ClaraTheCoder as well: discord.com/channels/273689397675687940/357610970228588545/764707884721373234 Clara Jordan (@ClaraTheCoder) @hankgreen Tuataria didn't want you to feel left out of the moustache love Twitter Ethan (@e10ritz) So I guess I made a mustachio pistachio @hankgreen? Happy #Pizzamas! Twitter reddit r/nerdfighters - Tuataria didn't want Hank to feel left out of the ... 473 votes and 26 comments so far on Reddit TikTok kcustomshoes on TikTok #greenscreen @hankgreen1 #hankgreen #pizzmas #pistachio #dftba #vlogbrothers readingtoescapepresent Yes. This has been made pistachio hank. Original idea credit tagged. #pizzamas #dftba Instagram

[@maxc166]

@ClaraTheCoder on Twitter: twitter.com/clarathecoder/status/1314962091153993728?s=21 @e10ritz on Twitter: twitter.com/e10ritz/status/1314725564989702149?s=21 u/czmj on reddit: www.reddit.com/r/nerdfighters/comments/j8qkdi/tuataria_didnt_want_hank_to_feel_left_out_of_the/? kcustomshoes on TikTok: vm.tiktok.com/ZMJPtgKJT/ @readingtoescapepresent on Instagram: instagram.com/p/CGN0cqVgYls/?igshid=xr2fmvn82bz1 And the original, made by Lucas on Tuataria, and named by Chloe BC: cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/357610970228588545/764277303328243712/20201009_190207.png BONUS!! made by @ClaraTheCoder as well: discord.com/channels/273689397675687940/357610970228588545/764707884721373234

[@kimmykimmie]

@@maxc166 @ClaraTheCoder on Twitter: twitter.com/clarathecoder/status/1314962091153993728?s=21 @e10ritz on Twitter: twitter.com/e10ritz/status/1314725564989702149?s=21 u/czmj on reddit: www.reddit.com/r/nerdfighters/comments/j8qkdi/tuataria_didnt_want_hank_to_feel_left_out_of_the/? kcustomshoes on TikTok: vm.tiktok.com/ZMJPtgKJT/ @readingtoescapepresent on Instagram: instagram.com/p/CGN0cqVgYls/?igshid=xr2fmvn82bz1 And the original, made by Lucas on Tuataria, and named by Chloe BC: discord.com/channels/273689397675687940/357610970228588545/764277305916653578 BONUS!! made by @ClaraTheCoder as well: discord.com/channels/273689397675687940/357610970228588545/764707884721373234

[@kimmykimmie]

@@maxc166 +

[@xylo6890]

+

[@gasparsigma]

I love this format of the vlog brothers, it brings me a lot of joy, thanks john and hank

[@mylime4263]

pistachio hank pistachio hank

[@belgarathdm6376]

@ClaraTheCoder on Twitter: twitter.com/clarathecoder/status/1314962091153993728?s=21 @e10ritz on Twitter: twitter.com/e10ritz/status/1314725564989702149?s=21 u/czmj on reddit: www.reddit.com/r/nerdfighters/comments/j8qkdi/tuataria_didnt_want_hank_to_feel_left_out_of_the/? kcustomshoes on TikTok: vm.tiktok.com/ZMJPtgKJT/ @readingtoescapepresent on Instagram: instagram.com/p/CGN0cqVgYls/?igshid=xr2fmvn82bz1 And the original, made by Lucas on Tuataria, and named by Chloe BC: cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/357610970228588545/764277303328243712/20201009_190207.png BONUS!! made by @ClaraTheCoder as well: discord.com/channels/273689397675687940/357610970228588545/764707884721373234

[@itsjoereed]

+

[@kimmykimmie]

@ClaraTheCoder on Twitter: twitter.com/clarathecoder/status/1314962091153993728?s=21 @e10ritz on Twitter: twitter.com/e10ritz/status/1314725564989702149?s=21 u/czmj on reddit: www.reddit.com/r/nerdfighters/comments/j8qkdi/tuataria_didnt_want_hank_to_feel_left_out_of_the/? kcustomshoes on TikTok: vm.tiktok.com/ZMJPtgKJT/ @readingtoescapepresent on Instagram: instagram.com/p/CGN0cqVgYls/?igshid=xr2fmvn82bz1 And the original, made by Lucas on Tuataria, and named by Chloe BC: discord.com/channels/273689397675687940/357610970228588545/764277305916653578 BONUS!! made by @ClaraTheCoder as well: discord.com/channels/273689397675687940/357610970228588545/764707884721373234

[@maxc166]

@ClaraTheCoder on Twitter: twitter.com/clarathecoder/status/1314962091153993728?s=21 @e10ritz on Twitter: twitter.com/e10ritz/status/1314725564989702149?s=21 u/czmj on reddit: www.reddit.com/r/nerdfighters/comments/j8qkdi/tuataria_didnt_want_hank_to_feel_left_out_of_the/? kcustomshoes on TikTok: vm.tiktok.com/ZMJPtgKJT/ @readingtoescapepresent on Instagram: instagram.com/p/CGN0cqVgYls/?igshid=xr2fmvn82bz1 And the original, made by Lucas on Tuataria, and named by Chloe BC: cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/357610970228588545/764277303328243712/20201009_190207.png BONUS!! made by @ClaraTheCoder as well: discord.com/channels/273689397675687940/357610970228588545/764707884721373234

[@hilag1217]

+

[@michaelmaage]

When valuing my worth, it most often comes down to this: "Act in such a way that you treat humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, never merely as a means to an end, but always at the same time as an end" and a believe in the "golden rule". I strive to treat everybody as having an inherent value, and my own value is determent on how I succeed in this. Ones value adheres on our strive to do right by others - a futile task if seen as a goal, but a useful believe if seen as a mean to a higher goal.

[@MementoX1013]

I've found the golden rule to have a fatal flaw. I prefer the platinum rule.

[@rosio0]

Last time I was this early was when John got Willy the Nerdfighting Puppy!

[@alexandracomus755]

This is so sad

[@gusvanskike4889]

I keep reading new books and then realizing they are on Hank's bookshelf. I didn't notice them before I read them, but now I can't unsee them.

[@abigailladd688]

i love it when hank or john do that thing where they perfectly articulate the internal struggle im dealing with at the moment:) i always thought i was a person who valued success and intelligence above all things, but time and time again i feel myself drawn to happiness and contentment as what i want out of life. i've been struggling with viewing myself as weak for choosing happiness over success. this video helped me so much. im an ever-evolving person and the events of my life have led me to a place where it is more important to be happy than successful-and that is OKAY! reminds me of a quote from the real H, "if you're happy doing what you're doing nobody can tell you you're not successful”- Harry Styles thank you guys!!!

[@mortalspiral]

I see that 99% Invisible book. I SEE IT

[@olgamakarova5127]

mortalspiral yes! I loved it!

[@AychJayBee]

This is my new favorite Vlogbrothers video ever. Thank you, Hank. ❤

[@YenaShah]

As someone, who is relatively new to this community (I joined a video before the All Star lyrics joined in), I didn't know there'd be no videos for Saturday and Sunday. I mean, that was pretty obvious considering everyone needs a rest but I am literally so hyped about pizzamas that I cannot explain(It's my first pizzamas!!!). I love this community and the comment section is just so wholesome and it makes me smile wider than wide everytime I read them. And of course, Hank and John ❤️ p.s I think it took 5 videos for me to digest the fact that the titles with All Star lyrics have finally vanished and now I don't try completing the song as soon as I expect to see the lyrics in the title. 5 months is a long time. Yet so short, because time seemed to pass a little faster than fast during the quarantine. DFTBA!

[@untappedinkwell]

Happy first Pizzamas!!! I hope you're enjoying it so far, and I hope week 2 lives up to the hype!!

[@abbyncisreid]

Yo Hank why have you never written a Pizzamas song

[@vlogbrothers]

Ummmm...the fact that you think I haven't is great news...

[@WintaAssefa]

@@vlogbrothers Hank? What does that mean?

[@francescakyanda9182]

Hank, IS THERE A SONG?

[@gabiwasabi2249]

I love this comment section

[@abbyncisreid]

vlogbrothers ummm well it isn’t on Spotify (I mean incongruent isn’t either tho so...)

[@katz86]

You still make me think in new ways. Thank you.

[@Oli.V]

Jeez hank, I didn’t ask to get called out like this but boy did I need it

[@cortneyhedlund5027]

I’m in the middle of drafting my novel and am really trying to iron out how my character sees herself and her place in the world. This was much needed and appreciated.

[@mercerchick]

This hit me hard, right where it hurts. Thank you Hank, for reminding me that I am, indeed, human.

[@jeka8826]

Perfect timing. Thank you, Hank.

[@okaytessa2481]

I've been really struggling with identity lately, like even on a base level. I've talked about it in therapy and it's just something that's been really upsetting me for a long time. This video was nice to hear, thanks.

[@untappedinkwell]

Wishing you lots of luck on your journey. Identity can be such a challenge, but I am rooting for you and I know you'll figure it out.

[@willbateman-hemphill3277]

This video was fantastic. A wonderful articulation of a complicated topic. This experience is so universal and yet so deeply personal. I hope we can all find ways to express why it is we matter. Also, just as a corny reminder: Hank, you matter; you're doin great!