Want to be happier? Stay in the moment | Matt Killingsworth

[@camelback2772]

Forget happiness! I'll put it this way: "Want to be healthy? Stay in the moment!" It took me many years to discover that my non-stop mind wandering, mental chatter and multitasking were making me sick. Stay in the moment! Powerful stuff, at least it worked for me. I am grateful every single day for finding this "secret".

[@D121346639m]

Can you share how do you stay in the moment?

[@chrisbranton8871]

"Every man is happy until happiness is suddenly a goal." - Tame Impala

[@veganchaatparty]

wow....this is really a good quote....thanks for sharing mate....

[@RealityMetaphysics]

I would disagree there as there are things such as depression. But I get the point.

[@limewarrircat4292]

Impala is a genius 👌

[@kylepayne1828]

Could you explain what this really means ? I BELEIVE it means if you say to yourself “ my goal is to be happy” then you already set a label on yourself that you ain’t happy ?

[@chrisbranton73]

@@kylepayne1828 that’s an acceptable interpretation I think. I imagined it as the moment you are aware of happiness being a priority is the moment you are chasing it, and when you are chasing happiness you can never attain it. I just read a quote from Naval that explains something similar: “Children are happy because: 1) They’re not self conscious. 2) They lack a sense of time pressure. 3) They’ve no goals. The bottom line is they are living from moment to moment, and the mind is not there to interfere in their bliss.” I think all of these hint at the same thing. Self-awareness is like the forbidden fruit. You gain the wisdom, but it wakes you up from the present moment.

[@DreamBeatsBakery]

You should live in the moment most of the time and the rest use your imagination to plan for your goals but never allow worry, rumination and any negative internal self-talk.

[@nath3032]

Аrе You On The Path To Ultimate Lifе Suссess? twitter.com/096964f907612a6ef/status/804630629388152832 Want tо bе hapрier Stаy in thе mоoomеnt МMМMaaatt KКKKillingsworth

[@pm1613]

Аrе Yоооu Оn Тhе Раth Тooо Ultimаtе Lifееe Sucсеss? twitter.com/99b8dbff099e6c65e/status/822777137924931585 Wаnt toооо bе hаррier Stay in thе mоmеnt Маtt KKillingswоrth

[@WilliamChillWillFletcher]

DreamBeatsBakery I agree

[@induhgo_]

I feel this .

[@TheJustbristol27]

How can you be in the moment if you don’t allow negative thinking? You need to allow it all or you get anxiety.

[@Stallnig]

When I'm unhappy I remind me of those things: 1.Realize how small my problems are and how little they matter. 2.Think of how comfortable my life is in compare to those of people in third world . 3.Set my expectations low and I'll always be positivly surprised. 4.Set my self a day and time, where I atually gona do something about one particular problem. Then I can relax and focus on what I'm doing at the moment.

[@marisuarez88]

I actually mind wandered twice while watching this video. If it hasn't been for the subject of the discussion, I would not have been so conscious about it. I think the thing is to start capturing the moment you are mind wandering to make it stop.

[@kriso122]

Mindfulness is the ANSWER !!!

[@deannagonzalez3891]

I think technology causes us to "mind-wander" a lot and takes us away from the present moment. The effect being that time seems to be going really fast for a lot of us, and many of us are falling into depression and stress that could be relieved if we lived more in the present instead of on our phones and stuff being distracted at family gatherings. Every moment is unique and it's a shame we miss it because we are always distracted.

[@Hosamo7]

I could not beleive it, until I experienced the happiness when I am totally focused and immersed in what Im Doing.

[@quebecer4605]

For as long as I can remember, my mind wanders. I never realized this was a reason for my unhappiness. Thank you for this video.

[@SimonWells69]

Sometimes when the present seems a load too hard to bare, it's easy for the mind to wander. Desire can be a dangerous factor too because that takes everyone out of the now.Like a Psychiatrist once told me,THE TRICK IS TO LIKE WHAT YOU HAVE. It's so true, because we were all educated backwards.

[@KillAllCommies2]

@@SimonWells69 That is a wise psychiatrist right there.

[@bgoodfella7413]

Buddhism has been teaching people this for over 2,500 years. Meditation is the ultimate practice for gathering awareness of the present moment. Peace Out. Keep your head up and stop texting so much on your cell phone!

[@Abrahamhamham]

It's simple. Mind wandering is a cause of unhappiness because when your mind wanders you think about things that aren't here in your life, so everytime you "come down" you feel bad because you leave that perfect world that you create all the time. I don't even know if that's true. I had to say something.

[@Johnzzism]

i dont know if anything is true anymore

[@donkey3187]

living in the past = depression, living in the future = anxiety, living in the present = happiness

[@TheVUURBAL]

ABRAHAM LINCOLN thanks for that, I never looked at it that way!

[@GameMovieStudios2000]

besides from some details its pretty much true

[@druski_1524]

Yup well said

[@OvercomeLoneliness]

Being in the Now is the absolute place to be.

[@TREBLEBOOSTER65]

this was my theory and why, I believe, we love music bc we can just sit and enjoy it in the moment

[@whatrtheodds]

TREBLEBOOSTER65 for me its dance, im present when I dance.

[@sergiisalo3922]

he showed we're mind-wandering above 50% when we're listening to music

[@RyanAmero]

@@sergiisalo3922 True unless we really sit down & enjoy the music for what it is Edit: Really anything can be mindfully or unmindfully

[@Iamfatemas]

I just realised that

[@bgoodfella7413]

Meditation is not shutting down the mind. It's awakening the mind. It's shutting off excessive thinking, habits and patterns of thought and action. It is shutting down of creating words in your mind which distract you from reality in the present moment. It's a method of practice to sustain focus, awareness, calm & peacefulness. It taps into the sub-consciousness at the deepest levels to enable inner transformation into a more "Buddha-like" type of person. One with wisdom, compassion and courage.

[@joyboy144]

Heck! I'm mind wandering while watching this video

[@debrafilipelli1422]

funny

[@IcarusFlying]

this is so great. figure out the four noble truths(this is stress, this is the cause of stress, this is the path leading to the end of stress, this is the end of stress) to be free from stress which develops concentration and mindfulness, which is the absence of mind wandering

[@simonmasla]

If a difference of 9% is significant statistically then it needs to be shown on scale that demonstrates that to the audience. This is a talk in which audience need to be able to quickly follow both results on the screen and his explanation.

[@tdiddle8950]

Oh, it's not so difficult to come up with a recipe for happiness. Here's mine: Make sure that every decision you make is concurrent with who you are and what you believe in...and make sure that your decisions will allow you to sleep well at night. I have many problems, but I do not stay awake at night worrying about who I may have hurt. I act honorably, and at least I don't have to worry about that.

[@clray123]

Causality is our instinctive way of stating that "if we do X, we'll later see that Y happens (more often than not)". It's always qualified by "as far as we know" and a hand-waving "if we hold all other things constant". It's our way of describing what we believe about actions, based on our accumulated experience (or humanity's experience, in case of science). No more and no less. Very useful and hugely imprecise all the same. All causal models tend to break when examined carefully.

[@leonchalita2169]

"If mind wandering were a slot machine it'd be like having a chance to lose $50, $20 or $1. You'd never wanna play" Genius right here

[@GonzoTehGreat]

We've all been there :) More often than not it's a boring speaker droning on like the teacher in Charlie Brown. When that happens of course your mind is going to wander. It's also evidence that daydreaming is a symptom of being unhappy rather than a cause. Our minds wander BECAUSE we are unhappy - not the other way around....

[@likemycommentifyouwantareply]

It might just be a natural coping mechanism. It also disables us though from taking important action to change our situations, so it can easily become maladaptive.

[@whynottalklikeapirat]

One might speculate that if not occupied with a specific activity, or deliberate attempt to concentrate - mind wandering is the natural state of the brain until stronger impulses take over. Or that periods of lesser happiness can be instrumental in creating basis for happiness at other moments. Mind wandering could even originate in a general state of mind that may seem to have no direct discernible cause - like light depression or generalized stress - and thus still be a symptom not a cause.

[@chanchhoygaming7584]

Same here. This program is a gem.

[@GonzoTehGreat]

I think the point is that you're thinking of something that doesn't exist (at least for us). The past is memory while the future is fantasy. Neither are 'real' events - they're products of your brain function. When you focus on the 'now' you're concentrating on what's actually 'happening' since the only time we can 'really' perceive is each passing moment. Of course I'm being black & white about this when it's much more grey - you obviously do need to think ahead and remember what you just did!

[@carefulcarpenter]

Apathy and boredom cause mind-wandering. What causes apathy and boredom? A lack of developed creative abilities? I'm most happy when I'm designing a project. Next happiest moment is when the work is complete. "Service giving is greater than service receiving" ~~cc

[@mompm]

mind wandering does not cause unhappiness.... the choosen focus of what we think of... or rather not conciously choosing to focus on positive. NLP totally explains this much better

[@obiwanjacobi]

I think there are very happy people without shelter or some other "basic-need". But it's great you've worked it out for you personally.

[@emman1185]

when I'm sad, I stop being sad and I start being awesome instead. True story!

[@HappierThanABillionaire]

I figured this out a few years ago. I'm so glad I did. More people should be open to it. Happiness comes down to the basics. Food, shelter, family, helping others. So simple.How do we screw that up? lol

[@tagcannon]

I agree. I seem to be the happiest when I have something to keep my focus on. Like gardening or just working around the house.

[@vadivelvivek]

Am i the only one to get my mind wandered to check the comments while watching his talk?

[@lauradelaney8670]

No and unfortunately it happens to me all the time!!

[@GfoxSim]

LOL, I do that a lot and I’m doing it right now.

[@themajorlife9969]

When im angry I remember that I can´t get a single moment back so why to live it in anger. We can always control our thoughts and with that we influence what we feel.

[@GonzoTehGreat]

Well spotted! This is a really good and important observation because it shows how easily we can be mislead by biased reporting of statistics. He carefully chose his axes to suggest a 100% difference between the two when it's actually about 15%!!! This disproves any claims he might make about using a scientific approach in his analysis.

[@martinbeco]

When my mind wanders, it wanders more into many subjects: I'm impressed that most people wander into unpleasant thoughts. When I'm in traffic, I am not focused on my driving skills! I listen to music, I sing. I think about what I'll get for dinner. you can't really say people are unhappy when they're wondering. Wondering is ubiquitious. And you think about 10 things at once. some of them maybe unpleasant, but I personally don't focus on them.

[@m2a2bradly]

Happiness comes from feeling accepted. Surround yourselves with people. Have a great time and you will be happy

[@highonnymphetamine6179]

Devin Eason The need to be accepted is not good.

[@ultimatebadazzz]

This video is definitely a step towards happiness. But there is a lot more to learn. Fortunately for us, we don't need to invent anything, because around 2550 years ago, a man in India gave us a very descriptive recipe for happiness :)

[@SamuelFrancessco]

Times go forward, not backward; the cause has to come before the effect Mind-wandering now and being unhappy a short time later, you don't want to ever play that game of "mind-wandering" Really good talk, the core message is to inmmerse yourself every second on the right now, and as I saw in another comment "destinate a moment for each thing", if you have to solve a problem, don't think about it while your doing a different action, is like being forrest gump for each thing, our focus is for only one specific thing at a moment. I will do it as deep work for every task in my life, and never multitask doing mind-wandering, because being distracted is unproductive, be focused on every action you do and don't get distracted for nothing, nothing is nothing. (also mind-wandering) Beautiful video!

[@mohanadiq]

Conviction and satisfaction with what we have are the keys of happiness. Very simple, but as humans we always seek for more!

[@ryukdluffy]

All I want in life is for me and my family to be in good health and to be happy.

[@anything12321]

read what anything12321 said please. :) thanks.

[@anything12321]

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate it. : ). Respect to you.

[@MrKohlenstoff]

Interesting point, I have to agree. I'm rarely as focused as I am when playing a good immersive video game. And while it's easy to enjoy those moments, you can hardly say that playing video games makes a person happier overall.

[@VaAlexander]

I agree, but think about how many times a day you try to think about how you look (mostly negative), how others see you (mostly negative), while you working - why Jim can and I can't etc.

[@Desert2GardenLV]

I love how he states the obvious yet its seems so excellent.

[@lovemecom3832]

He’s a great speaker and made us inspired in how we can feel happier. For me, in order for you to feel happier in your life, you should do the things that makes you happy..😊

[@wisdomwisdom817]

Simplicity is the key to happiness.

[@MrBel23]

I think it is all about what you know as to how much you enjoy you mind wandering, over the years I have come to know a lot about most subject and I find it totally enjoyable to allow my mind to wondered when I am focused on doing something else- it is like food for thought, I gain great inspiration from. I can understand if you have a narrow and shallow understand how mind wondering could give result in a sense of frustration which would make you feel less happy then when focused on a task.

[@hiskishow]

Well usually when I have lots of time and I'm not concentrating on things my mind wonders a lot and I don't really enjoy myself.. but when I have lots of things to do all the time I feel happy, coz I concentrate on things, and not on what could be or might be.. So I think this is true.

[@NbaNewsBreak]

Life will put alot on your plate most negative so it's easy to think about a certain worry, but when u block negative thoughts, it helps you from depression and worrying. Now you can focus on the right moves for your life.

[@MegF142857]

I was just thinking that too about some video games. I was surprised he didn't mention Buddhist mindfulness practice. He didn't really describe what he meant by being "happy" in his talk, which is majorly important to understand his study and what he is testing. It is too vague a term.

[@BodyByNeal]

PROGRESS is what makes us happy. Always getting better at something than we were before makes us happy. You must find what you REALLY want in life. That could be a specific job, having your own business, a loving relationship, whatever you really want. You don't have to be where you want to be but if you know that you are doing everything you possibly could be doing to make that dream a reality, that makes you happy. Your mind wonders when you aren't working for something you TRULY WANT.

[@highway234]

yeah i hear you. i'm a big believer in voluntary euthenazia for the terminally ill and similar situations but mostly when people want to commit suicide because things feel hopeless etc., it's more of a transitory thing or a mental illness and it's a tragedy to end one's life for something like that. honestly i think people who've experienced suicidal feelings and fought through them enjoy life in a way those who haven't had that experience don't understand.

[@LulasticHippyshake]

Such a great talk, thank you. I have been undertaking my only happiness project in recent years and have found my struggle with being presence to be my greatest challenge! I find that building in rituals of gratitude (giving thanks at certain points each day) is something that makes the biggest difference. x x

[@pyromexico2121]

I just love the No! at 6:23.

[@cayotelives]

Present moment is focus and no anxiety and no sadness. Harder to do than do.

[@hawaiano8]

I was commuting from work to home and i was very happy because i was thinking of a beautiful young woman i had met earlier that day at work. I was so happy the rest of the day.

[@PrideFEDORPride]

the best way to be present is not thinking about the now but to use your: eyes,nose,ears,tongue,skin. these five is the door to now. example when you look at red or whatever colour or whatever object dont describe it in your mind, if you did then fast look at something else. or even better when you eat something if you have time try to focus on the taste of that food that you eat that will make even a vegetable like cucumber super tasty.

[@semalau11]

His graph on happiness doesn't start at 0, there's only a nine point difference between happy and unhappy....

[@mpouli101able]

Very deceptive graph

[@ratiocinativeness]

yeah, when my mind wanders, I'm thinking about positive things like music and am sometimes constructively introspecting into my life... perhaps very specific kinds of mind-wandering pertaining to music, art, singing, future plans, and introspection grounds you in the moment and makes you more happy as opposed to if you were mind wandering and wishing you were somewhere else like the beach or with your significant other than waiting in traffic.

[@alexander2705]

Breathing is pretty awesome,breathing and enjoying your natural ability to feel your body's warmth...

[@RandoPandaSmiles]

He actually DID touch upon the "Buddhist mindfulness practice." He made reference to "BE HERE NOW" which is arguably one of the widest published book on mindfulness of the 20th century, by Ram Dass.

[@deexus]

peacefulness is more important than happiness!

[@TheaDragonSpirit]

This is basically telling people not to think.

[@wonderpope]

Give people something to focus on to distract them from the crap going on around them...and hinder their drive to change the circumstances surrounding them.

[@zabelicious]

Mindfulness is the best form of meditation... it is all about the present moment.

[@MountMonty]

Badass surname, Mr. Killingsworth.

[@Pilotaiid]

...Just had an interesting thought. If the mind tends to wander to unpleasant things, and we gently redirect it back to the moment, and then it wanders to something pleasant, and we dwell on that for a second, or a minute or longer... We'll have trained ourselves, accidentally, to shut down unpleasant thoughts and focus on what's good in life. Weird... Think I like it. Source: Was reading a page in WikiHow on how to stay in the moment after watching this video and the article said, "The mind will wander. Just accept it happened without judgement and gently redirect the mind back to the present." (Yes, I'm paraphrasing.)

[@rodovre]

This presentation causes mind-wandering...

[@DoRayMeFa]

One way I've found to get happier, fast, is to start doing something that *demands* my full present attention (example: juggling). Also, I instinctively started playing (or learning to play) a musical instrument during extremely stressful passages in my life. (By instinctively, I mean I didn't start playing with the specific intent to become happier.) Aside: Maybe involvement-in-the-present involves more experience and less "judgment," and mind-wandering involves the opposite.

[@leytbsdfrtbsfgbrtdfb]

I think our mind starts to wander when we don't enjoy what you do, can't do something you want to, and we always want something new and exciting. That's why we can live in the moment only for a while. And being happy all the time can't be considered happiness at all.

[@nGAhGENVH0Ul]

Some of the greatest ideas by some of the gratest minds came about when their minds were wandering.

[@Gmmm]

Usually I mind wander when I want to think about something good and the fact that I know I'm stuck in some other place doing something other than what I'm thinking about is what causes me to feel unhappy.

[@martinbondesson]

Exactly. And when we don't play video games our mind wanders to the next moment when we will be playing video games.

[@RefnRes]

Keeping your mind in the moment is basically the saying "Ignorance is bliss". Staying purely in the moment can have benefits as you are fully engaged in what you're doing and may see more effective short term results strung out over a period of time. However, it also means you don't have a plan for the future, you don't develop your intuition to the future possible consequences of your actions and so you seemingly have little fear (fear can stop you pushing forward at times but it also keeps you secure, its necessary to live outside of the moment to maintain the balance). Staying just in the moment means you also don't allow yourself to have larger goals which could push you to a whole new level of success and fulfillment rather than contentment.

[@programclu1]

I feel like this video is great but can give the impression that you have stated. You should try reading up on the teachings of Eckhart Tolle, he goes into all of this and teaches how to stay present in all situations whilst still being able to plan for the future. It's about planning for the future and building steps towards a future by taking actions in the present. The real lesson is to not worry about things in the past and future, after all, we can only live in the present. You can deal with everything in the now :)

[@MuckerInMotion]

Your conclusion doesn't flow logically from his analysis.

[@RefnRes]

Mark G Maybe not to you. It does to me.

[@diahys732]

+RabNebula i think you should still use your brain and imagination but dont wander too much if it leads to negative thoughts

[@diahys732]

+RabNebula i think you should still use your brain and imagination but dont wander too much if it leads to negative thoughts

[@JustAnotherGamertag]

That's why they don't define them. If a person was to define happiness for you, you would end up pursuing something that most likely won;t make you happy. Everybody has a different view of happiness and what can bring it to them. It's up to you to figure out what makes you happy. What they are explaining is that it's up to you. Nobody can tell you how to be happy. It's just up to you.

[@likemycommentifyouwantareply]

Right. Happiness is found in whatever keeps you focused on the present moment.

[@vaultvon2126]

When we kid we focus on what we are doing too. That's why in general we happier as a kid.

[@jaganmaster]

Well I'm only unhappy mind wandering when the present sucks or I'm in public. I'm very happy or comfortable (even if thoughts are negative) with mind wandering when I'm alone or in a peaceful place because I have an active imagination. I think people just need a fair balance of social & privacy time according to their own personality to be happier.

[@satan243310]

Matt Killing-is-worth?? This guy has the most awesome first name evar

[@SerChade]

This just strengthens the fact that ignorance is bliss. If no persons mind ever wondered, man would never have achieved anything great.

[@DaniboyBR2]

True. I like marijuana myself the most, but some other people find happines on heavier drugs, and I don't judge them for that.

[@MatWith0neT]

Happiness is, and always will be, subjective. Happiness could be playing video games, or playing sports, or traveling, or eating etc. It's all down to what you as an individual get enjoyment from. Find out what you want and live it.

[@creasicle]

It would appear to explain why last year I had a job that was poorly paid so I had to work 52 hours a week to make ends meet and I was happier then than I am now earning more and working less hours. I think we need to be busy.

[@parkingclube]

this fellas arms make me smile

[@fullfist]

reminds me of Hamlets monologue. . people go through these phases when the scope of things seems unbearable. . FOCUS on the moment, the now, find peace in the present. why do people go parachuting? because it puts you in the moment, nothing matters in the moment except living and appreciating .

[@obiwanjacobi]

How you feel is in direct correlation with what you think. If you can direct your thought, you can get happier from your current state. Think the next best feeling thought. If you only observe your environment (most of us) then the environment has to be pleasant in order for you to be happy. We all know you can't control what others do (but how we try!). We also worry about stuff in the future - most of that stuff does not even happen. So direct your mind (thoughts) and stop worrying: Happy!

[@TheGabbuts]

REMEMBERING

[@x1plus1x]

It is my guess that "unhappiness" or dissatisfaction with the current situation is an evolutionary trait that has evolved in humans, so that we aren't ever totally satisfied (for very long) and we constanty strive to improve our situation.

[@kmarinas86]

It's about how you set your desires. "Mind-wandering" has little to with it. Key to happiness: Set a low bar for your desires (make sure your desires are easy for you to fulfill), then satisfy them. Happiness shouldn't take long. Key to success: Set a high bar for your desires (choose desires not easy for you to fulfill, but still achievable), then satisfy them. Success should take long.

[@SalomeSchmidt]

I am pretty sure that people who have a good ability to withdraw into pleasent daydreams while sitting in the waiting room waiting for a dentist appointment, or while laying in a hospital bed or while waiting for their loan application to go through, will, in general have had a better day than those who where "in the present moment".

[@likemycommentifyouwantareply]

Disagree

[@koruteni]

You're less happy because when you're mind is wandering, we are usually thinking about something that would MAKE them happier. We are less happy when we do this because once you stop and come back to reality. Reality isn't as pleasant as what were thinking or creating in our head.

[@breakmanradio2530]

Aristotle did NOT say that happiness is the ultimate good. He said eudaimonia is the ultimate good, and happiness is a terrible translation of that word. It is, in fact, a type of "human flourishing" and in that sense, is more akin to self-actualization than it is to happiness.

[@jliller]

I often feel unfocused and this impairs my performance and effectiveness in many things. This is probably what I feel most unhappy about in my life these days. This video says my unhappiness and mindwandering are even more closely linked than I had realized. So where's the TED Talk about staying focused on the moment and not mindwandering?

[@jodyelbourne8655]

Thank you..

[@ihaditfirst]

true! but there is also still tons more data that is needed to truly understand it too.

[@GonzoTehGreat]

Indeed. Why do we crave happiness but not sadness? Aren't they just 2 sides of the same coin?

[@willchoumusic]

Well said. This is my goal to spread this message.

[@vladkostin7557]

Thanks! I'm looking forward to being in the now!

[@NirvanicSunshine]

Smart guy. He figured it out. Almost nobody ever actually does.

[@ElsewhereIsHere]

My browser cut off the caption. At first I thought the answer was to "Stay In". Home bodies rejoice!

[@twaunnelson]

To be really happy, focus on the moment.

[@heathercush5096]

not staying in the moment is not even an option. we are stuck in the moment even without trying, its our default. and our present moment is full of past and future, which doesn't make it no present moment. so you don't have to focus on being now, because you are there all the time.

[@GonzoTehGreat]

"hinder their drive to change the circumstances surrounding them." Unless you get them to focus on changing their circumstances :) I think the idea is to focus ON your surroundings rather than to the exclusion of your surroundings. This is the goal of Meditation. By emptying your mind of thoughts you remove all distractions/wandering/dreaming. Instead, try to fully experience the moment with all your (appropriate) senses - i.e. hearing, smell and even touch as well as sight. I find this hard!

[@hardworker424]

We already knew that. They're trying to find what external factors make people happy. I personally find his testing flawed but it's a start.