Welsh Psychology Lecturer Reacts to How To Be Me by Ren and Chinchilla. Heart Wrenching Stuff.

Psychology lecturer Dr Nic analyzes and reacts to the song 'How To Be Me' by Ren (‪@RenMakesMusic‬) and Chinchilla (‪@chinchilla_music‬) in the hope that it makes some sort of difference to the mental health, wellbeing, wisdom or understanding of people out there.
My reaction / analysis covers themes of loss, grief, personality, self-stories and the mind blowing nature of death.
Other bits - Below are links to my channel and a few other videos that you might like.
Channel link:
/ @nichooper7
Hi Ren Analysis:
• Psychology Lecturer An...
Sick Boi Analysis:
• Welsh Psychology Profe...
The Boys, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse Analysis:
• Video
And here are links to my website and twitter profile:
www.nichooper.co.uk
/ nichooper7
Thanks loads for stopping by!
Nic

[@Parula06]

The thing about Ren is that he doesn't sing ABOUT the experience, he sings the experience itself, right from the heart of it. I've heard this song as both him singing his friend's tortured mind and his own in response to his friend's suicide. I lost a parent to suicide when I was 7. It doesn't go away, you just learn how to be with it. Which took me many years. Really appreciate your insightful response to this. Totally on point IMO.

[@nichooper7]

Hey Marty, thanks for the comment, and really sorry to hear about your pain. That's a lovely point - he sings the experience rather than about it. Maybe that's what captivates me about him. Glad you liked the analysis! Nic

[@amandacollins2854]

Thank you for this reaction for 2 reasons first for our own emotions which are enevitablely stirred by this song but also it lends Ren some defence from the onslaughts of sensationalist news outlets like CNN who recently tried to paint Ren as the Pied Piper head of a teenage suicide cult ,they hadn't even heard this song ,which is about teen suicide but based their criticism on a 5 second piece out of Hi Ren . Ren means so much to so many of us because as you say there is no emotional manipulation with Ren only real emotional response. That fellowship of pain means the world to those who are emotionally isolated .we feel protective of Ren ,but a little helpless . Your scholarship offers Ren a credibility and protection that my hard earned institution and empathy cannot . So I am very grateful that you take the interest in him❤❤❤

[@nichooper7]

@@amandacollins2854 It's a shame that someone has been so careless, as it doesnt take a mental health expert to see the value of his work.

[@DocHogan]

That is an excellent way of describing Ren's performances. I'd been looking for a way to explain him to the people I introduce to him, and never found the right way to say it. This is a huge help. Stay strong. Never lose, even if you can never win. 53, with 36 years of not losing, so far... it CAN be done.

[@wexfordgirl1]

​@@nichooper7 Desperately waiting for you reaction to Ren's Suicide. It dropped only yesterday but I cant wait to hear your analysis.

[@GreyfauxxGaming]

Things I kinda wanted point out from my own perspective having been through similar things as Ren. He says after talking to the dead, that the "fear baptized him" When someone you know dies, something shatters and mortality and your own approaching death is made so clear, you can never step back from this point. And he says Over the hills, under the valleys below "It follows me home" meaning even if he had a great day, or a bad day, when he gets home, those existential thoughts will be waiting for him. Because even if your day was amazing, when you're finally alone with your thoughts, that's when it attacks.

[@suevick637]

I lost my husband of 33+ yrs, to cancer, just 3 yrs ago. This song is how I feel each day, living in the same home, sleeping in the same bed. Sometimes, the pain IS just like this. THANK YOU for sharing.

[@mehere6865]

Ren first broached this subject about his friend Joe Hughes 7 years ago in a song called freckled angels, this song hits me hard owing to similar experiences, I was 22, I'm 61 now and the feeling Never goes away, I still find myself missing my best friend all these years later, 22 year old me was not as equipped as 61 year old me to see what i needed to see back then. Both Ren and Chinchilla show me aspects of my old friend. when i first saw him his dress was designed to keep people at arms Length, He was a skinhead wearing turned up dungarees an Bovver boots, his demeanor was distant, I who lived on the fringes because of my deafness just cut through the BS and found the most honest and gentle soul, His look was his armor, I look on Rens Armour as his chavy look and chinchilla has those ferocious looking nails. This is why I love them so much their talent brings back such happy memories, Rest easy Dave.

[@nichooper7]

I love the sentiments in your message, thank you for sending them over. I hadn't at all considered the role of their aesthetic. Really sorry to hear about your own pain with this topic too. Thank you for taking the time to comment. Nic

[@masterbetta6874]

This might be my favorite Ren song. You can tell that he doesn't chose to write for the sake of writing but instead he has to write, to put the world in a context that makes sense. It's a therapy session or a prayer. This is another great analysis. I appreciate that you have taken the song and its symbolism on its own, in its own context. After Hi Ren, it's easy to miss that the words have different meaning in different context.

[@nichooper7]

Thank you! I appreciate your comment again and agree with your sentiments totally!

[@MickShawMusic]

"A therapy session or a prayer". Exactly this... Perfectly put.....

[@runnerbean.]

Grea reaction 😊

[@becbrown212]

I love Patience. Its such a strong statement of joy.

[@rebeccarose7405]

I’ve always listened to the first part of this song as coming from the perspective of his friend that died. I don’t know, and that’s the beauty of songs. Listening to your analysis made me hear it in a new way. Both ways work in my head equally well. I have lost more than one person I love to suicide, and every death changes us. I would like to think that their deaths have left me more sensitive, and a better listener, but they have also left me diminished because of the loss of the light those people took from the world. It is a beautiful song that always makes me cry! Thanks so much for giving me a new way to listen.

[@ryanclarke4482]

I'm sorry for your loss 💙 I Love to hear other people's thoughts on Ren's songs, so many interesting interpretations. My own perspective on this song is apart from the final verse it's about how Ren was feeling during the long periods of time he was bed/house bound for and possible thoughts he was having about his imidiate future. He always amazes me how his words touch people in diffrent ways. Have a good day.

[@nichooper7]

Hi both, Rebecca, I too am sorry to hear of your losses. I missed the idea that the song could have been written from his friends perspective but I'm glad that my analysis still made some sort of sense or is useful! Different interpretations probably speak to the complexity and depth of the lyrics / music.

[@bemusedpurse]

I had the same perspective as you. He’s trying to understand what his friend was going through

[@MissMeKate]

I think it's so powerful abd skillful that this song can be read from the perspective of the departed and the grieving. Ren's friend was Joe Hughes, and he lost his life on the Menai Bridge but his body was never recovered. It isn't only the loss that is so haunting, but the fact that Joe remains lost. Ren wrote another song about Joe, called Freckled Angels. It is very different in tone to this one, and is more a love letter to his friend and his wish to have one more day with him. There's a recording live at the Regal Rooms that Ren recorded 8 months after Joe died. It was all so raw, but he wanted people to know Joe's name.

[@nichooper7]

Thanks loads for this comment. It really gives me more really valuable information about the context. I'll look up Freckled Angels with that knowledge now.

[@PeteFindsObscureStuff]

That is a heart wrenching version. There is another one too called Freckled Angel, (singular), which includes lots of photos of Joe. Bit of a pain to find but it is here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nYa6fGZpZsdripY

[@MissMeKate]

@@nichooper7 There are press articles that confirm the details if you search the name and location, I know it's important to verify things that you may share with your students, especially given the sensitivity of the subject. That sounds deliberately obtuse but KZbin is funny about external links.

[@nichooper7]

@@MissMeKate Thanks for advice here : )

[@AmaBrigitte]

This song is hauntingly beautiful and mesmerizing! It is not just words strung together melodically, but a declaration of pain, loss and sorrow! Somehow, Ren has managed to wrap this one up , put a bow on it and gift us with his emotional experience in a song! Thank you for your wise reaction! Your voice is so soothing 😊😊😊

[@nichooper7]

Thank you Brigitte for your positivity about the reaction. I also agree totally with the other sentiments in your message. The song is a bit of genius I think.

[@leob3447]

"Because of language, we can bring pain into any moment, no matter where we are". That was brilliant. As someone who has lost a sibling to suicide, who struggled with depression, and who has other family members experiencing that same depression, that one just really hit me. The blessing and the curse of the human intellect in that those sad eyes can truly blind us at times. I'm only halfway through the reaction, but I just had to pause and write that out. Kudos.

[@nichooper7]

Thank you Leo for this comment! I remember hearing that for the first time a while back from a psychologist called Kelly Wilson, and it floored me too. I hope you liked the rest of the video! Nic

[@leob3447]

@@nichooper7 This was probably the best analysis of the lyrical context of this brilliant song from the psychological perspective. Because of my life experiences and struggles I've become heavily interested in learning all I can about how the mind really seems to work as opposed the common conceptions (or misconceptions) that are out there. I like that you pointed out the paper on the fluidity of personality and how much of that is based in the stories we all are good at telling ourselves about 'who we are'. As I thought about the above comment, I also realized the opposite is true - we can bring joy, happiness, or even peace into any moment no matter the circumstance. It just seems like the former is easier to do (maybe?). Great reaction - I look forward to checking out more.

[@nichooper7]

@@leob3447 Thanks Leo, your positivity is much appreciated, and the sentiments in your message seem wise to me - I agree that the former seems easier to do, something do with the fact that our minds were bred to detect threat. Thanks loads for your input and comments!

[@chrisseiler42]

I remember Ren commenting how often he wonders if he just would have been there perhaps he could have prevented his friend’s death. I hope it helps that millions are thinking of his friend each time we play this song.✨❤️

[@nichooper7]

Yea I think this was a wonderful way to honour his friend. And those 'what if' questions are the one's that haunt us. I hope he has found some sort of peace over his role in this.

[@orcunnisli]

Thanks for this great reaction once again. We all have a tendency to avoid thinking about death until it comes near around us. I think that, this song has a dual interpretation for it's protagonist: from the perspective of who left behind and also the one who deceased. Ren and Chinchilla also have another great song named Chalk Outlines about the hollowness that depression and antidepressants brings. I would appreciate if you would reacting to the live version of that song too.

[@nichooper7]

Thank you! Yes that dual interpretation thing is something that I didn't pick up on at all! Never mind! Chalk outlines is on my list and I thank you for the suggestion!

[@sketchtherapy1218]

I think the line "my kingdom turned to rust' denotes that the accomplishments and material gains aren't gone they've just lost their shine.

[@brianjerlow681]

No sugar coating, no unwarranted positivity, thank you for being so real. It’s quite refreshing

[@stephenpodeschi6052]

Ren and his friends are creating musical joy and deep thought from many reactors and they have a wide range of content .....Cheers for reacting and comments.

[@nichooper7]

Thanks Stephen and I totally agree!

[@sammyd8860]

Love hearing your reactions to Ren's music. You break things down very clearly. Thank you

[@nichooper7]

Thank you Sammy - I appreciate you taking the time to send over positivity!

[@MissMeKate]

Hearing you say at the end that you'd like to see Ren in a position of societal influence to direct change makes me hope you react to Money Game Pt1 and Pt2. Especially Pt1 which is more cinematic, interpretive, and humanitarian, whereas Pt2 is more direct and political.

[@nichooper7]

I'll look forward to those then! Thanks so much for your comments Kate (?), I really appreciate them. Nic

[@DandelionCollab]

I've watched dozens of reactions to Ren's video. This was a very good discussion. It connected my tears when watching to my friend being murdered 30 years ago. The abruptness of the shift in being is still stunning to me.

[@nichooper7]

Thanks loads and I'm sorry to hear of your trauma - that stuff never leaves you. Very best wishes, Nic.

[@elanorfairbairn]

Please do Chalk Outlines,right up your alley

[@nichooper7]

Yes - I'm going to add it to my list!

[@elanorfairbairn]

@@nichooper7 oh...and I really like your reactions. And what's wrong with therapist fanboy?

[@nichooper7]

@@elanorfairbairn 🤣

[@joyplant6275]

Grief is just like that it rips you inside out and you cant breath and it does change you Ren describes perfectly😢

[@nichooper7]

Yes I totally degree. He lives the emotion. Thanks for the comment Joy! Nic

[@SuzanneO707]

The pain of unexpected , sudden loss, it literally, does take your breath away, And then, to be haunted by the past memories & what could of been. The survivor guilt is palpable in this song.However the loss came about , suicide, accidents, violent acts/war.,That pain could and would just swallow you up. If you let it. Ren and Chinchilla have hit the nail on the head with this beautiful , mesmerising song & performance. I see from the comments so many people hit hard by sudden loss. Its a total sledgehammer, nobody is prepared for and it will hurt you to the core. We pretty much build our sense of self from our connections with others and memory. When that is challenged its destabilizing. There will always be bad and sad happenings, unfortunately, but it is possible to see some light and use the experience to heal , help others , seek justice and hopefully promote changes that might prevent some of it. We all know or we may have experienced such in our lives, and through media, hit hard for example by the loss of a child, a beloved or a stranger. They get this immense campaigning energy, acting on it. Wanting to do something that gets them through it but.... also connecting with people who have shared experinces and ultimately , to help others in the future. I want you to hear me , I'm speaking for someone who no longer has a voice. I don't sympathy, I want action, understanding, justice and some empathy. We all get wrapped up in tye everyday things, as Dr Nic said and then something comes and can turn it all upside down. Music is good for the soul, food of love. Keep on keeping on Ren, your a star.

[@nichooper7]

Amen to everything you just said Suzanne!!!!

[@sicmuvva11]

I love the format of your reactions it is not continuously interrupted by adds, especially when you are discussing sensitive subjects.

[@nichooper7]

Thanks Peter! To be honest, I dont know how Ads work on KZbin and so the fact that the videos are not interrupted by Ads is not a whole lot to do with me. I will keep an eye out though as I delve deeper into this world, and try to avoid mid videos Ads.

[@annebiebrich9155]

I can understand completely talking to his friend and asking "why did you leave me ? I would have maybe helped you" etc

[@netty9534]

I've just come from your analysis of Hi Ren. You give Ren's art the beautiful authentic quality of analysis it deserves. Thankyou

[@netty9534]

Add on - I choose not to love now, I don't want the pain coming.

[@netty9534]

Sorry another add on. I can't get my head around death, my intensity of thought come and go. I know it's part of the human experience I've tried to find religion but I've struggled with that.

[@nichooper7]

Hey Netty, thanks loads for the comments! I understand the 'not loving to not get hurt' move. But maybe in time you'll soften to that because you might not want a life without love. I'm also with you wrt death. I find it mind blowing continually! Best wishes, Nic.

[@dorkette_chicky]

Wow! I loved your reaction and analysis. As many reactions I have watched, this is the first one that shed such a different perspective. Thank you. Peace

[@nichooper7]

Ah thank you Chicky! That means a lot to me!

[@Nonya12608]

I have always interpreted this song as it being from the perspective of his friend, and what it feels like to be suicidal. If you do that, it's even more tragic.

[@nichooper7]

Yes I totally missed that that could be the case. That angle does add depth and added sadness doesn't it. Thanks for your comment Lindsay! Nic

[@Brenda12911]

That's how I've precieved this song from his friends perspective before he decided death was his only option. Beautifully tragic song.

[@rodgersmith6891]

I LOVE this song and how they emote. This video was shot on the actual bridge that his best friend jumped off of.

[@rog2224]

Menai Bridge.

[@serendipitish]

not true; this is misinformation being bounced around in comment sections, please help to stop it spreading. This video was shot on a rooftop in Brighton, not on the Menai Bridge. (I totally agree about the emotion, though - intensely in the moment with each other!)

[@nichooper7]

Irrespective of where it was shot, how they emote might be the most incredible part of the song. I'm glad I managed to point to that towards the end of the video.

[@barefootalien]

My grandfather had a wonderful saying... "Wherever I go, I take me with me." The idea of the pain following you reminded me of it, as the _core_ of it, even if he used to say it in response to people trying to run away from their pain or problems, to point at the futility of that since you just bring them with you; you can't help it.

[@sherrygardner2840]

Thank you so much for mentioning the study about personality change. I'm going to look into it further. I went through a divorce after 34 years of marriage, quickly followed by the Covid lockdown. Those 2 events changed me deeply. My therapist says I need to "get back" to the old me but I think there's no going back. I'm anxious to see if the study may explain things better.

[@nichooper7]

Good luck Sherry, I feel for you. I agree with you though - I cant see there being any way back to the old you, but that's okay, because you'll become a new you that has figured out a new way of being. I wrote this a while back about this topic that you might like to read: www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/kill-your-selves-every-day

[@sherrygardner2840]

@@nichooper7 thank you. We all have so many stories we're just mobile libraries, aren't we?

[@nichooper7]

@@sherrygardner2840 Yep, and most of them aren't even informed by our actual behaviour.

[@Silkytoaster]

the song was performed on the same bridge where REN’s friend jumped from .

[@johnjohn37371]

Your thoughts about death at the end got me. I've spent much of my life in an existential angst, wasting time worrying about the unknowable. I subbed...

[@nichooper7]

Ah great Lucas. Yea, I try to stop fighting that in favour of focusing more on the things I can control, though it pulls me back in from time to time : )

[@annebiebrich9155]

He sings how he feels and has the ability to make you feel it too...he sings straight into your soul

[@nichooper7]

Totally agree!

[@lucillepannell106]

Love these reactions, please carry on

[@rudolphadonis3030]

Agreed 💯

[@nichooper7]

Thanks both! Your comments are much appreciated! Nic

[@duncankushnir4855]

Dude, sub here. I have been through this, unfortunately more than once. You bring a sensitivity and depth that may only make sense to someone who has lived it. I bleed every day for those I love. This reaction rings true, and thank you.

[@nichooper7]

Hi Duncan, thanks for taking the time to write that comment, and for your kind words. I really appreciate them. Sounds like your eyes have been opened, and I actually think it's a good thing in the long run because it builds our empathy, which someone else, at some point, might need.

[@chininhk]

Another great breakdown! A couple of quick points: did you notice that their voices are almost shouting after the line 'they whisper so loud,' almost as if they were trying to drown them out. Also, you mentioned that Ren would be reminded of Joe, even when removed situationally. My understanding is that he filmed this while standing on the bridge Joe jumped from. It can't help the healing process knowing that his best friend's body was not recovered.

[@nichooper7]

Great spot with the shouting Chin! And about the bridge - I've heard mixed ideas about whether that's true or not but what I will say is that the choice a bridge is interesting because it was chosen to cue the pain. Lots of people avoid places that cue pain but doing that isn't a good thing in the long run. Ren has done the thing that psychologists might suggest doing - head right into the pain! Thanks loads of the comment! Nic

[@ankerbraut101]

Thank you for giving me some new perspectives on a song I thought I knew so well. You are very authentic, I appreciate that very much. And you want comments from all over the world? So this one is from Germany. 🙋🏻‍♀️ Liebe Grüße

[@nichooper7]

Hello from Wales! Thanks so much for taking the time to send over positivity from Germany! I'm convinced that authenticity is a secret weapon for human beings.

[@KevL_262]

I love this Song and I love your analysis! I would love to see you analyse "Chalk outlines" or "Dear God" from Ren... Your video gave me a new perspective to this masterpiece and I'm thankful for that! Love and Peace from Germany

[@nichooper7]

Thank you Kevin! I've added those two songs to my list! Love and peace from Wales!

[@joeblow8940]

Beautiful reaction. Especially appreciated your comments about how self-stories limit us.

[@nichooper7]

Thanks Joe! Yea Im sure I'll get to self stories again because I find them to be so important in understanding our experience.

[@Dazkil]

Great reaction.I think the song though is mainly his friends voice and the last 3- 4 lines are what Ren feels

[@nichooper7]

Hey Darren, yes I didn't pick up on that angle at all. Fingers crossed the analysis still makes some sort of sense and doesnt confuse people now!

[@amandacollins2854]

I have always thought Ren was talking for his friend , and was even quoting his friends voice until those last few unaccompanied words.thats what contains the big emotional impact to me, its as if Rens own emotional pain can't be expressed even with his greatest medium for expression,music, and only comes as a innocent childlike statement of grief, pain and loss ,which is acknowledged as a wisper at the end . Beautiful ,haunting and unlike many of Rens songs no emotional devices at the beginning just a little gentle humming to lead us gently into an emotion he knows we are all familiar with ,❤

[@nichooper7]

Hey Amanda, yes I didn't pick up on the idea that he might be talking from his friends perspective but that last bit is straight from the heart. Your analysis was better than mine btw - I love the idea of that gentle humming now that you've pointed it out.

[@blackberrystag]

That was great. You have so much insight.

[@nichooper7]

Thank you!

[@InconSteveHable]

Thank you for continuing your KZbin journey, I watch reactions mainly so I can revisit the joy of discovering a new artist/music through the eyes of someone else, you can never experience something for the first time twice which is such a shame.. Having an analysis of these songs that move me is an added bonus.

[@nichooper7]

Thanks so much Steve - really appreciate you taking the time to encourage me!

[@Schmutzfink_]

I'm so glad you decided to make more videos. You help me so much with your analyzes and insights. I lost my mum and my best friend within 4 days last october and I am still frozen somehow. I couldn't cry really, my tears always stop before falling, but your words about loss and death made me soften up a little. You are a wise man, sir, I hope you continue to enrich our minds. Thank you.

[@nichooper7]

I'm really sorry to hear of your losses, and can see why Rens music lands so well with you. Im also glad that I add some value for you with my analysis. Thank you for taking the time message me something so personal, it helps to re-centre me, to remind me that this is something worth doing because it might make a difference to some people. Very best wishes, Nic.

[@BirgitTotzauer]

Great analysis, thank you, and I hope you will continue your ren- journey. So many great songs to be discovered, so many lyrics worth a look into them. Diazepam, Insomnia, chalk outlines, swan Song (which I love very much, but seems to stay under the radar of most people/reactors) and many more. Love from Germany. Please keep on doing your videos. 🍀🍀

[@nichooper7]

Brilliant - thanks for all of those recommendations Birgit! Nic

[@fourcornersofbrighton]

I've had some conversations with others on this song as far as point of view, because many of the lyrics within this song could be interpreted from the mindset of the suicidal person and the survivor both. When it goes into 'over and over we go' the second time, in the round, it sounds almost like a conversation where the mindset of the first person effects the mindset of the second over time and through issues. Great reaction!

[@nichooper7]

Yea, tbh, I missed that totally i.e. the fact that it could have been written from the perspective of his friend. I think that makes the song really clever. Thanks loads for the comment and encouragement! Nic

[@christinefuss9585]

@@nichooper7 I did see Ren speaking about it, of course I don't remember when or where but yes, it is from his friend's point of view and then it does end up with him saying it'll stay with him (Ren) forever. It is an amazingly poignant song. If I don't cry when I hear it, my eyes are certainly welling up. It was a wonderful reaction. Thank you.

[@nichooper7]

@@christinefuss9585 Ah that's interesting, thanks for letting me know Christine! Poignant is exactly the right word.

[@nguyenngoc-ee8lc]

I always think this song was written when Ren was drowning in his own depression and somehow it made him feel related to what his friend had to go through. It’s like he’s used to be the person that wants to cling on to that friend and tell them not to give up on life but now when he’s really in his friend’s shoes, he forgot how to be the optimistic him before Your insights shed a new light on the song for me and I really enjoy your soothing voice, like a lot😊

[@nichooper7]

Thanks loads for the positivity and kindness, and I appreciate your own thoughts on where this song came from.

[@jenneper]

Im so interested in what you have to say. I am a Psychology major and also lost my spouse to suicide. Healing took so long...i started school at 50. I also have Lyme disease so I can relate to Ren in a big way. I'm glad to see these reactions on so many levels as they help to process my own trauma and illness and will hopefully help me on my journey as a clinician.

[@nichooper7]

Hey Jen, Im really sorry to hear about your spouse and Lyme disease. No wonder you've found a home with this artist because his songs so clearly map onto your own pain. My gut says, with your background, that you'll be a fantastic clinician, because you'll have built in empathy. You should watch my 1st Ren video because it talks a lot about the ACT model, which you might come across in your studies. Best wishes, Nic.

[@avalonava1742]

Thank you so much! I really enjoy hearing your perspective on Ren's songs. Can't wait for the next one! 😃

[@nichooper7]

Thank you! I really appreciate you sending over this positivity!

[@annebiebrich9155]

Yes it is about Ren's friend, Joe, who jumped from this very bridge they are performing on..in the same spot. His body was never found

[@nichooper7]

Incredibly tragic stuff. Thanks for the comment Anne.

[@Dragonartykay]

Ren is like the voice of everyone, we all have experience, of death, depression, sickness and so on, he speaks for us all, his lyrics are so rich in his experience, and we all need that. So we all know we are not alone. This was filmed, where his best friend Jo committed suicide. I always say that I am who I am because of what I have been through. I know you said you wasn’t going to be a fan boy of Ren but every song he does is deep and drawn from his experiences.

[@nichooper7]

Yea I totally agree. Thing is, I've looked at other songs to analyse and it's hard to do because they lack depth. Whereas depth is not a problem for Ren!

[@rebeccaburnell9319]

(the bridge location is internet myth, though - Ren's said that it was filmed on a balcony. It absolutely 100% evokes the feel of being on the span of a long bridge though, doesn't it!)

[@janiendejong8641]

you are so right with your words.i lost the father of my firstborn to suicide 13 years ago.that phonecall broke me,i could only scream and cry for hours💔i changed from a happy positive person to a broken woman with allot of mental problems and trauma..i cant let it go,and i also miss myself so much

[@meghanmonroe]

In my interpretation, "sad eyes blind me" refers to the way I can't always see things clearly or accurately (or at all) when I'm severely depressed. It becomes a filter that will often limit or block my ability to make sense of what's around me and the interactions I'm involved in. The voices become too loud, the negativity too intense, and eventually my sad eyes have blinded me. And the only reason I have any awareness is because I've been in therapy for most of my life.

[@Jason_xofilos]

Keep in mind ‘Hi Ren’. He is also dealing with his illness specifically Lyme disease. So he has be processing his grief from his friend, Joe, jumping of a bridge that he was unable to save in time. So it is a blend empathy fir his friend Joe and what he went through, his grief dealing with Joe loss all the while dealing with his undiagnosed illness until it was diagnosed. So he has spent a lot of time thinking about Joe, his loss, and grief. Please react, analyze, and watch three song connected to Joe’s loss. ‘Unfreckled Angel’ ‘Sui*ide’ ‘For Joe’ Thank you for your work and insight.

[@nichooper7]

Thank you for taking the time to give me that information and for the steer wrt what to do next! It's much appreciated! Nic

[@robertstrike4948]

Isn’t there a saying that when someone has an end of life event , the pain they felt passes onto those they left behind - I hope I’ve put that in the correct way

[@nichooper7]

I've not heard that saying Robert, but it is one that I will remember now, because of how much it resonates with my experience. Thank you for the comment! Nic

[@sketchtherapy1218]

I think you would enjoy the song "Power" by Ren it's about how he took all the things that trouble his youth and turned them into his Power. (Glad to see you back)

[@nichooper7]

Interesting - I've added it to my list!

[@ablacknambercat]

Keening is the term for this high sound, it is the sound of grieving.

[@nichooper7]

Thanks for that bit of information Tom, I didn't know of this term. Obviously, that sound now makes perfect sense in the context of this song. Very best wishes!

[@86billionneurons]

Thank You Dr Nick for you life in helping others. Heroes don't always need capes. Hope you can sometimes get that puppy back. We all need it in our lives to recharge and then take on the world. 😊

[@nichooper7]

Thanks so much for sending over this positivity! The puppy might be gone you know but there's still life in this old dog : )

[@shakysenior]

Another fascinating insight. Thanks Dr.

[@nichooper7]

Thank you!

[@MarkTomblin]

Thank you for this reaction. Your comments on self-stories I found particularly meaningful. Our present selves trying to make sense of our past selves.

[@nichooper7]

Thanks Mark! Self stories was a game changer for me - I'm sure I'll come back to it in future videos as there's so much to explore with it. Thanks loads for the comment! Nic

[@juliecooper-nm7cm]

Thank you Dr Nic. I can’t tell you how much impact your analysis had on me, it would take too long. Suffice it to say that after 58 years I still don’t know what it means to be me, but you have given me some thoughts and I’ll revisit this over time. The phrase that struck the most was the “stories” that we tell ourselves about who we’re are. And I wonder how many of those stories were penned by my parents, or my two ex husbands. So I am going to reread those stories in my voice and evaluate them according to my perspective. Sorry for the rambling message. Just know that your insight was so valuable to me. Thank you.

[@nichooper7]

Not a rambling message at all Julie, thanks so much for taking the time to send it. Self stories were a real game changer for me. I'm sure I'll explore it in future videos but I wrote this a while back that you might find helpful: www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/kill-your-selves-every-day Best wishes, Nic.

[@hilarycharman-2924]

Thank you for doing this. Ren and Chinchilla doing Chalk Outlines is something you might like to check out, also The Search by NF.

[@nichooper7]

Thanks Hilary - I'll look up the search!

[@sandiraymond1761]

I can no longer be the me from before this. That part. My 3 year old died due to gun misuse by a family member a couple years ago. I spent months feeling like people were addressing someone I vaguely remembered when they spoke to me. I felt like an imposter within my body, within my life. Then I figured out there was no getting back to normal, no returning to who I used to be. I can never again be the me who mothers Arrow. That is gone.

[@nichooper7]

Oh gosh. I cant imagine the pain you've felt and still feel. You have my deepest sympathy and respect, and you're correct, you're a new person now, and it's about figuring out how to find meaning in this world while you carry your scars with you. Thanks loads for taking the time to comment and for showing your vulnerability. Ren would be proud of you. Nic

[@salishseamermaid]

I really enjoy your comments.

[@nichooper7]

Thank you!

[@Aurora-cv5to]

Love your thoughts on this. Thank you. I've heard it as an incredible description of deep grief. Impossible to figure out where to even put your feet down (metaphorically) when you're immersed in it. Every action becomes performative, nothing is natural, or automatic. I remember when it seemed like I simply didn't remember how to behave any more. The smallest gesture, like pouring a cup of coffee, seemed impossible. Observing hand, cup, coffee pot: thinking the process and then PERFORMING the process. To me, that's forgetting how to be me. And pouring that cup of coffee was so much work that it exhausted me just to consider doing it. Brings tears remembering that physical sensation even now, and it's been over a quarter of century.

[@nichooper7]

Wow, thanks for sharing that with me and for putting words to something that is sometimes hard to describe. How even the simplest things become a mountain to climb in the right circumstances. Thanks for taking the time to comment, I appreciate it, Nic

[@outi5001]

Thank you, I've really enjoyed your reactions/analysis! You gave me a lot to think about, really interesting points of views. I hope you're having a great week, and I hope to see more from you 🙂

[@nichooper7]

Thank you! I hope your'e having a great week too!

[@tsult81]

the most intelligent, spot-on breakdown/reaction of this song i have seen, and I've seen many. thank you

[@nichooper7]

Ah thanks so much, I really do appreciate the encouragement. Nic

[@samwiseganja3026]

Loved your reaction. Thank you so much! Ren is such a sensational human making life impacting art!

[@nichooper7]

Thank you! Really appreciate you sending over the lovely sentiments. I agree with you about wholeheartedly about Ren!

[@rogerstarkey5390]

Great analysis. Ironically (?) you had me "flashing back" over my 65 years to the inevitable traumatic events which shaped me and altered my perspective. . Not to sound corny (🤔) but the line from a George Benson song "learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" is a lesson few learn soon enough. . I wonder if through his many trials, having obviously thought about his trauma and expressed through his music, Ren may be one of the lucky souls who achieve that "enlightenment"? . Meanwhile, I'll "Cower at the man he's become as he sings at the top of his lungs" and wish him health and happiness. (Ah! Plagiarism!)

[@nichooper7]

Great stuff Roger, really appreciate your sentiments here, especially about self-love and also Rens enlightenment. Thanks for taking the time to comment and so your positivity! Nic

[@NoraMorgan]

Just now made it back to watch this. I am so thankful that you decided to do more. 🙏

[@nichooper7]

Thank you so much for the encouragement!

[@frankensteinfpv]

Thank you for another great breakdown! Your words really resonate and bring a certain peace to my mind. So thank you again and I look forward to your next breakdown...

[@nichooper7]

Brilliant - thanks loads for taking the time to send over such positive sentiments!

[@carlahelin5203]

Love how you carefully broke down the lyrics.

[@nichooper7]

Thank you Carla! Nic

[@tafinzer]

I'm so glad you're continuing on with this. I was truly blessed and enjoyed your first reaction. You have continued on in the same fashion. Thank you. The most powerful part beyond the song is the way they look at each other. It's so intimate and private... Beautiful.

[@nichooper7]

Thanks so much Todd - yes, I didn't really pick up on that, guess I was a bit mesmerised by it all!

[@tafinzer]

@@nichooper7 In regards to the intimacy between the two, It created a sense that I was intruding on a very private moment. I am mesmerized by everything this artist has created. I'd like to add that you're insight is so valuable. You have a wonderful way of teaching. I love it that his father reacted to your first video. No need to reply.

[@nichooper7]

@@tafinzer Yes I was delighted when Rens dad wrote a comment. That made my day. I agree with your sentiments about the video and thank you for your kindness!

[@DClubRocks]

Wow! Amazing and insightful reaction. I've heard this song a half dozen times and your insights opened my eyes to things I didn't realize previously. Your students are very lucky to have you.

[@nichooper7]

Well thank you Sir for sending over that encouragement and positivity. It means a lot to me! Nic

[@janinebrooks5056]

Having been bereaved by suicide many years ago, something I have enough words to get through when occasionally asked about now, the first time ai heard this a few years ago, I thought “this does”. It works, from both sides of the experience in a few minutes. A very sweet comprehensible summary.

[@ryanclarke4482]

Thank you for your analysis 💙 Ren is so thought provoking. P. S any chance you could record a few bedtime story's, your voice would be a tonic for a hard day

[@nichooper7]

Lol! I'm going to tell my wife that all of the time I've spent reading bed time stories over the past 7 years has finally paid off! Thanks for your comment Ryan! Nic

[@gratmccall]

Totally check out "Chalk Outlines" by Ren. Extremely beautiful melody, outstanding lyrics.

[@nichooper7]

Hey Grat, this song is on my list! Thanks for the comment! Nic

[@AndaraBledin]

So, I didn't know this was a thing until quite recently, but not everybody does have a mental voice in their head. Some people don't have any sort of inner monologue or 'hears' their thoughts. It's not especially common. I find it incredibly difficult to even conceive of the idea of having a silent mental landscape as my own mind is filled with a host of voices, both real and imagined, which I use to full advantage with my own art as a writer. Anyway, just thought I'd mention this since we should try to include those of us with the quietest minds when speaking of the rest of us who have those inner voices.

[@nichooper7]

Thanks for this offering Andara! I think it probably comes down to our understanding of the words 'inner voice'. For me, they mean the part of our mind that offer us advice about what we should and shouldn't do (e.g. "you've never been good at music and so there's no point in learning guitar). If the inner voice is that then I think that we all have an inner voice, even if that inner voice is helpful generally or quiet sometimes! Semantics but I do understand the point you are making! Very best wishes, Nic.

[@markbeckens]

So much for 1 video for your students. 😂

[@tafinzer]

👍🏼

[@nichooper7]

I know! I'm a bit hooked now and I'm not sure how I feel about it all : )

[@markbeckens]

@@nichooper7 welcome to our world. Why you think I've watched all your videos on Ren. 😂

[@markbeckens]

@@nichooper7 suggestion for next videos, Money game 1 and 2. And we're curious, has your son caught you yet?

[@nichooper7]

@@markbeckens We've made a deal which allows me to make use of it. One day I'll you the details of that deal i.e. what its cost me 🤣 Money game songs added to my list! Thanks Mark

[@glynnettleton9900]

Hi Dr Nic, I guess you are quite new to being a reactionist & as youre a working psychology lecturer I'm really chuffed that you are accessing elements of popular music culture to illustrate ideas to your students. Most clients will express themselves to their therapists with cultural references but no therapist ever picks up on these references & these are vital clues that give insight into their clients state of mind & view of the world. Ecellent reaction vid Dr as I'm fedup of "OMG" FAKE REACTIONS! 😁

[@nichooper7]

Thanks so much for your comment - and I agree - I think that writers (of film / fiction / songs) know as much about what it is to be human as therapist do.

[@rudolphadonis3030]

Great analysis Dr. Amazing perspective.

[@nichooper7]

Thank you kindly Rudolph!

[@kipper2626]

I just found your channel and I really love your analyses and insights. What you said at the end is so interesting and chimes with a few thing that are in my head. As I get older my thoughts inevitably turn to no longer being here, it's unsettling, as you say. It was a distant elephant, as my sister would say, now looming larger. Yesterday I watched the latest episode of Welcome to Wrexham called 'Everything is Temporary' (don't know if you watch it but it's warm and full of wisdom, which isn't quite what some people imagine it to be).The club's oldest supporter, approaching his 100th birthday, was sharing some of his thoughts on life. I thought again about what he said when I heard your words. That in turn reminded me of a conversation I had with my ex-husband's father, in a hospital waiting room. We'd always got on but we'd had little contact after I left his abusive son (that's another story) I was talking about a house move and some challenges I was facing. "Nothing lasts forever..." he said, quite emphatically. I wrote a poem about him, and those words, which is in my pamphlet. People have mentioned it when I've done events. He died a while back. His words didn't. I'll be recommending your channel to my own children, now in their 40s, who are experiencing life-changing challenges. All the best.

[@nichooper7]

Thanks so much for taking the time to comment and offer such wisdom here. Nothing lasts forever. That's such a hard thing to accept isn't it, but so necessary to be able to keep going. Best wishes, Nic.

[@louannlang7471]

I haven't cried so hard in the last few months as I did while listening to your breakdown of this piece 😭 thank you. I think maybe I needed the release of my tears...I've been a mess lately.

[@nichooper7]

I feel incredibly honoured that my video gave you this experience. Thank you so much for letting me know. I think you're right btw, in my experience, tears build up over time and then catch us by surprise when they come flooding out. Sorry to hear you've been a mess lately btw. I know the feeling. Keep going, things are always changing. Very best wishes, Nic.

[@louannlang7471]

@@nichooper7 thank you for taking the time to give a thoughtful and gracious reply. ❤️

[@NixyRose72]

Having been in both sides of this, it is so hard to hear this without emotion. When you are at the bottom of the well, it's so dark and so alone that you are often blinded to any other way out of it. That's why when ppl talk about how selfish they are or how they never thought about how it would wreck the ones left behind.... of course they don't think about that. We can't. We literally can't see past that dark alone. And then... on the surviving side. It hurts so much worse when it feels like they "chose" to leave instead of a natural end. There's the guilt, could i have stopped them? Why didn't i try harder? Why did they leave me? Why Why Why? But to those people, it's not personal. Odds are good, if someone is determined to end their life, often, the best you can do is postpone it. Usually the only thing that factors into their decision is themselves. Seeking a stop to the pain. Whatever pain. Just a break. It's very self- centered, but not in any way that is something that they can really help. I got lucky ... or i was unlucky as all hell, depending on how you look at it. I say lucky because if i had succeeded my son would never have been born. And that is a light that needed to be lit in this world. I'm not worth much, but he is. I'm much older now, and he's a grown man. I still wouldn't trade him even to be free of all the pain over the years. Just remember, if you can't see a way out, ask for help. Oftentimes, a different perspective carries a simple light that can shine on a path you just kept missing. If you quit now, you never know what golden moment might be right around that next corner. Jmo Always love your reactions ❤

[@nichooper7]

Great sentiments there thank you. I'm so happy for your son, to have had someone love him that much that it changed their life!

[@NixyRose72]

@nichooper7 thank you. I almost lost him to leukemia in 2012. He was 26. He's almost 29 now and in remission. If I had lost that light in my world, well, probably best not to imagine that. I could absolutely not bear the world without him in it. I don't know if I admire the strength of parents who manage to go on.... or pity them. The world is already so inhospitable and hateful. I'm just glad to have found the light on here that is the Ren universe lol. So many ppl with so much in common (whether it's pain or healing those in pain) that would never have otherwise even known of the other's existence. He's changing the world. Hope I'm around to see how it flows. 🙏

[@nichooper7]

@@NixyRose72 I cant imagine the stress of that but am delighted he and you came through it. This Ren universe is also lucky to have you. Nic

[@NixyRose72]

@nichooper7 Thank you. Your kind words actually made me tear up, lol. It's amazing how much harder kindness hits. I'm more likely to cry over a hug or compliment than I ever was to meanness or even a physical hit. I wonder why that is. Thank you so much for your kindness and such supportive and uplifting words. It seems like a small thing, but it truly has a big impact. I know it seems like it should be intuitive and natural to just be nice to ppl, but it's frankly amazing how many choose to be nasty. I'm glad I subscribed. 😊 Bless

[@nichooper7]

@@NixyRose72 Yes, a lot of tricky people out there in the world who find themselves being nasty, but that's not my style. I really think the world needs more love and support, and I've found that when I get those things from people I do better. Im glad that you do too. Btw, I think that reaction to a hug is a superpower - it's shows awareness of how special it is to love other people.

[@robertobachmann5462]

Hi Doc Nic, how satisfying it is to better understand what you say, in this case with respect to the video and that they serve for other types of situations and cases. Hopefully there are more like you and join this way of delivering help and knowledge. Thank you.

[@nichooper7]

Thanks Roberto! Much appreciated!

[@tresharris4487]

It's crazy that Ren's music has caused a sort of movement. I've seen a lot of friends and a lot of people on this youtube platform experience a shift in perspective about a lot of things in life. I have seen his music be an inspiration for many to step out and start creating their own art. I've seen others start being more vulnerable with their loved ones, or maybe their audiences. I've also seen people deciding to pursue passions they were hesitant to pursue. Not only Ren's music. But who he is as a person. Who he is while interacting with his audience. And also the community interacting with each other. It is wild to experience this first hand. And, who knows. Maybe you would have had some other piece of media you would have wanted to make a youtube video for you students about. And maybe that would have also caused you to keep making more videos. But i am so very happy that it happened to be Ren that played a vital role in this whole process. I truly appreciate your breakdowns and explanations. I appreciate your perspective and willingness to share all of this with us. Thank you. And sorry for such a long winded comment aha

[@nichooper7]

Ah thank you - I appreciate your positivity. To be clear though, I'm 38 years old, and I've never been inspired to make a video before coming across Hi Ren. So I think what you think, which is that there is something very cool about this guy.

[@twylahtiab8598]

Thank you for your reaction to this gorgeous song.

[@barefootalien]

Ren would say that your interpretation is exactly what he meant. He generally doesn't explain _his_ interpretation; he makes music to touch people where they are, so however _you_ feel, whatever meaning _you_ garner from it, is exactly what he wants.

[@user-xn9oe2bd2s]

Thank you I have thoroughly enjoyed your insightful reactions. When you get the chance, I would love to see your reaction to chalk outlines by Ren and Chinchilla.

[@nichooper7]

Thank you for sending over the encouragement and positivity! It means a lot to me. Chalk Outlines is now added to my list! Nic

[@user-ju2lr6mk8k]

Amazing I love the way you tap in to personality being flexible and how we can limit our experiences with fact statements that we label ourselves with.You have so many gems 💎 In all your reactions I feel blessed to have stumbled apon your videos you have an amazing way of exploring and explaining thought and complexity of the human experience that I have always been fascinated with ideas I have analysed and experienced and felt but never had the ability to capture and put them in to words like you do. I love what you're doing and I feel you have the ability to help a lot of people as you already have for me. So thank you I really appreciate your work and I hope you keep making these videos they are so genuine and true 👍

[@nichooper7]

Oh thank you Rebekah, I really do appreciate you taking the time to send me such positive thoughts. Our minds easily get the better of us, and mine has certainly told me negative things in the past few weeks!

[@WhisperWolfe]

Thank you so much for this analysis. I'm not sure which one I'd like to see you breakdown next Money Game 1 & 2 or The Tale of Jenny and Screech (Full).

[@nichooper7]

They are both on my list but Im very curious about Jenny and Screech after watching the 1st minute or so of it!

[@jeanninegervais5874]

I loved this. Im glad I found your show. Your analysis adds so much, I appreciate it. I’ve been a Ren fan since last March. He has changed the way I see the world. He makes each step easier. ❤

[@Thomas.Saunders]

Thanks again for your insights, Dr. Nic. So here's a question. I've heard so much about how journaling, as in writing down my thoughts, will help get them out of my head, so that I can move past them. (I don't know, that could be an outdated practice now, I'm old). So, maybe writing this song was cathartic for Ren. And maybe the first few times he sings it, he can reflect on that. And then if he continues to perform the song, maybe he can think of it as a tribute to the friend he has lost. But what does it do to someone if they continue to be asked to sing the song? Does it begin to wear on one, or do they just box up the real emotion behind the song and no longer access that when they perform?

[@nichooper7]

Great questions Thomas. I journal, not to get them out of my head (there's no magic wand for that) but just to see them so that I can become aware of them a little more. That helps me interact with them in a more functional way. I wonder what Rens experience is of repeating this song - I reckon he feels proud because it honours his friend and his pain.

[@malyndahansen5741]

Thank you for your breakdown of this video. A whole new perspective on this topic. Great reaction

[@nichooper7]

Thanks so much for taking the time to send over such positivity!

[@guitarmuscle6968]

Always Love your analysis of Rens Music Nic, i think you would find this more than interesting, Ren - The Tale of Jenny & Screech (Full), make sure you watch the full Trilogy Video it's a very powerful Story

[@nichooper7]

Thanks loads for the continued encouragement! Jenny and Screech is close to the top of my list. I watched the first 30 seconds and then stopped because I wanted to give it my full attention at some point!

[@johnpegues5701]

Enjoyed your thoughts...change is a part of life...imagining who God made me to be and trying to work toward that self has dominated the last 50 years of my life...a very fruitful and rewarding journey.

[@Popular_Novel]

Just one small suggestion. I think it would be nice for those of us who've lost someone to suicide if we referred to it as "dying by suicide" instead of "commiting suicide". It might seem like a small thing to some people, but words matter. Framing it as the death it is, as opposed to something you commit (like a crime), is a little softer and kinder. Both to the person that died, as well as those of us still here. Lovely video, thank you!

[@nichooper7]

Yea I can see how the word 'committed' would have negative connotations. It's hard for people, including myself, to change well trained language in everyday speak, but I will try to use 'dying by suicide' as much as I can. Thank you for the steer! Nic

[@shannonstradford6518]

I love this reaction video ...this song has brought me to tears and your reaction, analysis, brought me to tears, too. Thank you for sharing it with us. Peace ✌️

[@christineraffa-diggon]

If you have ever heard of the documentary The Bridge, it is controversial because the film maker surcomvented the Park by claiming he was filming one thing and had steady cams on The Golden Gate bridge to record jumpers. I bring this up because one gentleman in particular paced for over 45 minutes before. His close friends were interviewed and they said the same thing. Over and over again he would threaten to take his life. And they quit believing him. The trauma and pain they feel is palpable. Also anger. I caution you, you cannot unsee this. ❤

[@nichooper7]

Thanks for letting me know about this Christine, I will take a look and hold your warning close to me.

[@rebeccaryan8796]

This is a thoughtful, careful analysis of a beautiful and difficult piece of art. Thank you. What makes Ren a powerhouse is that he doesn't hold anything back - in his writing, singing or presenting - which is the most mesmerizing thing, and the reason (IMO) he has connected with so many. Can't wait to see what happens next!

[@nichooper7]

Yes I totally agree. He doesnt hold anything back, there is nothing tokenistic about the work, and that's why it is so powerful. Next steps involve Ren taking over the world, Im certain of it : ) Thanks for taking the time to comment Rebecca! Nic

[@MrTomMac10]

Piggybacking on your thoughts towards the end of this video, i think you'll enjoy his song "Dear God".

[@nichooper7]

I'll take a look at that one thank you!

[@troytucker3467]

Thank you mate.

[@dowtish1]

The way I understand this is: Ren wrote all of the lyrics until the very last verse from the perspective of his friend.

[@nichooper7]

Hey Chris, yea I totally missed this but I hope that some of the analysis is useful nonetheless! Thanks loads for the comment! Nic