What Depression ACTUALLY Feels Like

[@depressiontoexpression]

Full Episode on iTunes and Spotify "Why I Stopped Antidepressants" iTunes: apple.co/2EQahtI Spotify: spoti.fi/2IdKz3m

[@sumitawchar2018]

Please react sairat movie tital track yad lagal song react please

[@shinea6912]

This episode was most helpful. Thank you.

[@1LadyEMM]

Are you gonna talk about how black people are even more prone to depression because of generational trauma and racism?

[@dathebjesoms2258]

It's different for everyone but I would describe it as feeling no hope, and not remembering ever feeling hope. Terrifying.

[@kaisiyasin]

Pretty much like me!

[@DreamingSkychild]

Yes, same here, that there is no hope at all, not remembering ever feeling hope. I agree with you, it is important to acknowledge that clinical depression can be different for everyone.

[@hannahloew5027]

Nature has designed us with a healthy dose of unfounded optimism, to keep us breathing every day and keep us breeding and distract us from the misery of reality, thereby perpetuating the selfish gene. This aspect of humanity is the antithesis of rationality, but unfortunately occupies a significant portion of the glorified monkey brain of most individuals.

[@KellyLCornell]

Yes! Even clinicians ask you things like, "do you sleep more or less than usual?", "Do you feel less productive than usual?", etc.. It's like, no. I just don't feel like I can function most of the time. I can't find joy or remember a time when I had it.

[@sekeriyasharif6593]

Feel like the whole world is against you.

[@HJEM13]

Depression feels like there's a glass wall between myself and the rest of the world. I can notice the beauty around me but feel nothing. It's feeling trapped in your own life and you can't escape.

[@Messi10947]

Wow . Pretty much how I feel

[@karlomoonblade]

isn't that called DP/DR?

[@SabahatJamal-k5k]

Yes agree

[@flexpinoy]

That's exactly how I feel. Thank you.

[@larakr9]

Depression is like a permanent state of deep mourning. For everything-the past and present, the ability to feel, the people who come and go, the missed opportunities, the sun you didn't see because you spent the whole day in bed, for the very second that is being spent in this hell and not lived to its potential. Every time you think you've hit rock bottom, you sink deeper-unimaginably so. The terror that sets in when you realise there's farther to fall is paralysing.

[@klanderkal]

Exactly..!! ... it's horrifying . !

[@kaleidojess]

It feels like you’re dead but still walking around, if you’re functional. I know when I was depressed it was like I was dead.

[@nasrinali2]

I hope your doing well! ☺️

[@kaleidojess]

Nasrin Ali I am 😊 thank you ... it’s possible to recover. I started exercising and forcing myself to go outside during the day, that was years ago. I started to eat even when I didn’t feel like it. Started setting goals. Whoever’s reading this might benefit. Most of all I started to be my own cheerleader, my own teammate and friend. A lot of inner work. It’s possible to be better and I was suicidal so it’s definitely possible. ♥️

[@kaleidojess]

I also forgot to say that it also can feel like moments of deep despair like nothing can ever improve, like there’s no point of even being alive. I’m so glad I got past it. To anyone who’s depressed trust that you can be happy again. Your life is valuable and you matter. 💚💚💚

[@Blessed-qg2kb]

@@kaleidojess hows you now..

[@HeyMomonia]

​@@kaleidojessI'm glad you found a way out of it I'm exercising, eating well, setting goals, seeing friends, spending time with my family and a lot more And yet i still feel depressed Sometimes i feel like I'll never be happy

[@amanda_lucas]

For me, it more like I'm a character is a simulation. I'm happy, I'm thriving, I have goals and ambition and people and things I find pleasurable. But then someone unplugs me and I realize this world I'm in is nothing, these people are nothing, I am nothing. This pleasant consciousness I've been living is a lie. And me and nothing else matters. I have to mourn the life I had, and in the moment, it feels like it's a reality I'll never be able to reach again.

[@thexperimenter88]

Amanda Lucas same

[@d1ssolv3r]

Even our angst falls through our hands like sand ...

[@josephvlogsdon]

I know how I would describe my depression, although some people might consider this to be more like anxiety. It feels like something terrible is going to happen at any moment, and when something terrible actually does happen, the feeling becomes unbearable.

[@patriciavandevelde5469]

Life is a bitch and then you die! Only tax office is interested! Pointless!

[@end4567]

I've seen some people describing their experience with it so I might do it too. I have been depressed for a few years now and for me depression is when you stop caring. I stopped caring about my friends and pushed them away and I don't want to communicate anymore with anyone, it's too exhausting. I stopped caring about my future or any plans I ever had. I lost my ability to feel any intense emotions, I haven't cried in months. These people that say that depression is all about being extremely sad have never actually gone through depression luckily. I don't want this comment to be that dramatic but it's true and there's no point in hiding it.

[@zynet_eseled]

The truth is depression could...in my experience, be described as complete apathy towards so much. Just about, everything. Maybe, some things, could temporarily pierce through, in my case, talking about music. But, actually sitting down at my laptop, and going forward with trying to make ambient atmospheric material, it...becomes draining because of a lack of momentum progress.

[@XStormRavenX]

Mines that I cared too much and when people just treated me like I was nothing then I just quit my job and came into my room and been crying and feeling just miserable. I'm beginning to not care about anything and don't talk to people anymore because I feel it too mentally exhausting.

[@SillyGadda]

I started to have severe social anxiety upon entering high school, which led to me having barely any friends during the 3 painful years. I have a lot of problems, but no one to talk to. For the past 2 years it feels like I'm numb of anything, I've lost interest in almost everything, and for a long period of time I don't even feel happiness from anything, just scrolling through the internet to have a few giggle. But recently it feels like it exploded into constant panic and fear.

[@jeffstepp-ou8re]

It's very true , you're not being dramatic... believe me I completely understand.

[@SillyGadda]

wait... now that I think of it I think I felt the same. For the past 2 years I've been nearly completely isolated in the class, and how you describe it is actually how I felt at the time. (with a lot of pain and embarrassment)

[@alwayslove6290]

I have been so DEEPLY DEPRESSED I really don't know how much more of it I can handle.. PLEASE pray for me😶

[@kaisiyasin]

I really hope you'll be okay!

[@alwayslove6290]

@@kaisiyasin .. THANKS. SO MUCH I have Lupus SLE along with CFS . 💌💖2U

[@leticiacornish849]

you can do it!!!! I did it and I never thought there was light at the end of the tunnerl

[@alwayslove6290]

@@leticiacornish849 Thank you💐

[@soniatembo9036]

You're in my prayers💓💓

[@dominicmaestas8081]

My brother. You hit it exactly. I wake up every morning feeling that way ,pure dread!

[@shiraz701]

You said it right

[@ingeboneschansker6434]

So true

[@marlonoliveira6069]

I hope you've gotten better

[@klanderkal]

Agreed.!!

[@Delmarvafishing]

Accurate and insightful, I would say it feels like a bad dream you can't wake up from. Living every day like its the worst day of your life

[@esparda07]

Thank you for sharing this.

[@loomonda18]

This. This is exactly it. It's that sense of complete fear all the time, constantly around you and you cant escape it, and a complete void/loss of any sort of hope possible.

[@Cybernetic800]

Trying to explain depression to someone who hasn't had it is a effort in futility. I think it's one of the reasons people who suffer with it end up keeping it to themselves.

[@Messi10947]

True even the best of the people around you actually make it a little worse if you share it with them.

[@rock5138]

Thank you for posting this. Depression is often indescribable unless someone else experiences it for themselves. For me, it’s absolute despair and hopelessness. People like you help to de-stigmatize mental illness. Keep up the good work.

[@JoshuaCastillo6309]

Depression for me is basically just torture. You're in agony, dread and despair every second of every day. Those days turn to weeks, months, years. And before you know it, the feeling is no longer just psychological, your own body starts to turn against you. The pain becomes also physical and my bones start to hurt, my fingers feel numb, and my core feels like it's being compressed. Anyone who's been living with this for years has a strength that most will never understand.

[@jeffstepp-ou8re]

I sure do, I've been dealing with it for 10 years, all I really want to do is sleep. Just taking a shower can feel overwhelming..I hate it, I feel no emotion most of the time.

[@JoshuaCastillo6309]

@@jeffstepp-ou8re Depression can manifest differently from person to person, but that lack of emotion you talk about could very well be periods of numbness. Numbness that comes after an all time low. It's almost like your brain can't take anymore pain so it enters a survival mode. That might not be the case with you but what you describe sounds familiar.

[@NatalieCox-ie5sv]

If u get through it u will come out stronger that is a definite hang on in there.💜

[@DanaM18129]

I could never find the right words but this is exactly how I felt. And I think this horrorfiying feeling of doom and the feeling of having lost everything can be a traumatic experience in itself. I am so happy to say that I found out why I had the depression. I now know that I am not the sickness and that I can beat it. The best cure for me was to allow myself to have a little bit hope. Just a little bit. That made me get out of bed. Everyone deserves hope! Stay safe everybody!

[@leticiacornish849]

wow your example really hit me. my severe episode was 2 years ago... and listening to this still triggers me. When the pandemic started I was so scared I was going to go back to depression... i was more terrified about depression than the virus itself. Surprisingly, I am doing amazing and this experience is helping me see gratitude in the tiniest things. Today's were trees! I love your work scott!! thank you for speaking up about this matter. i feel so understood by you and this community

[@journeebell7119]

Depression is the worst thing to ever go through

[@shali728]

That’s what it feels like. I don’t know where to run. Everywhere I go it’s there. And there is no help because there is no understanding of how it feels. It’s incredibly exhausting

[@RandyR]

My dad died in front of me during April 2013. Am also dealing with six other deaths, loss of career , income and health. Moved beyond depression to desperation. Had to get angry enough to keep on fighting. Have 4 incurable conditions so will be graduating soon.

[@royalmeteor6782]

Damn man that’s rough I know it’s late but I saw your message and I’m going through so shit to 💯i love you man and your gonna get through this , there’s better days ahead stay positive never look at things negatively turn your negatives into positives 💚💚

[@YouTubeLover343]

It feels like you lost someone dear to you. The heartache is very strong! You feel like dying!

[@chitanena1]

I have no will to move or desire for anything. I want to be around friends and no one at all. I'm tired of crying and life feels like just a responsibility.

[@sabaparveen5685]

Hour ago I was searching depression related topic videos. As soon as I saw notification of this video. M here

[@themagreen7141]

To me depression is a sort of detatchment from my humanity. All the things that once made me human: social relationships, hobbies, even emotions, they all just dull into nothingness. Feeling no connection with reality and being lost in a lonesome world of absolute pessimism with no set time of escape. It's a fixed mindset that filters the world such that even the smallest of things are dire attacks on what little hope you had left.

[@Blessed-qg2kb]

Hows you now

[@Blessed-qg2kb]

Hows you

[@themagreen7141]

@@Blessed-qg2kb I'm holdin in there, it helped me to recognize that I had support all around me, all I needed to do was ask, I feel lucky in that sense because not everyone has that but it'll come when it's supposed to or you just realize that it's already here, recognizing it within yourself, which is possible. Thanks for checking in!

[@jj3cx]

@@themagreen7141Same for me my gf broke up 2 months ago and ive been griefing thisn2 months now the depression hits since few days and it feels like waking up with a black hole in me and feeling like falling into a dark place like im drowning

[@klanderkal]

Agreed..!! It's horrible... The Anhedonia , the insomnia etc...

[@pedrohb7275]

Depression feels like everything is dead , there is no film , book , person or place that can cheer you up . The past is a melancolic sight , the future a dark landscape , and the present a living hell , everything is burning , doesn t matter if it's raining , snowing or if the sun shines outside . Depression turns you into a body that can move , eyes that can see , a mouth that talks and your heart fades away day by day .

[@marlonoliveira6069]

That sounds horrible. I hope you get better. I'm really sorry

[@pedrohb7275]

Thank you guys , i ' m taking medication and doing what is possible to get out of this hole . Feeling better

[@scotscub76]

A great description is the short story "The bad thing" by David Foster Wallace. Also there's a scene in Hereditary which reminds me of it. When Toni Colette is wailing. It's never ending emotional terror. Feeling numb but at the same time it's all so incredibly painful. There are no words. Sadness is not despair. I found myself wishing I could even feel sad during my phases.

[@zynet_eseled]

Depression is not an emotion that one feels. For me it's an absence of any form of feeling or emotion. Like the thing that makes us human, is switched off completely.

[@scotscub76]

@@zynet_eseled thats a great description also

[@zynet_eseled]

@@scotscub76 to define depression, then, could be a parallel alongside defining such conditions in a similar breth as autism, post traumatic stress disorder, schizophrenia, multi personality disorder, and such else. From an external look it can seem to make sense, symptoms, probable causes, effects, common patterns of behavior, etcetera. But, to those who are afflicted, it is as lovecraftian, indescribable and alien, as tales of myth from times long past our comprehension, creatures that defy known laws of reality, and concepts that are far greater than any could try to make sense of, lest they be driven mad by the lack of cohesion and sheer magnitude of what they seek to understand. Definition of neurological disorders, conditions, afflictions and divergences, is impossible for those who are its carriers. To externals it can be so defined. Therein, lies the problem.

[@scotscub76]

@@zynet_eseled yes I think Alien is the vital word in your fantastic description. You write beautifully 🤘

[@nebitnokumeee]

You are an amazing human being. I just want to let you know that you have a friend in me and that you will never be alone. Stay strong, my brother. We are with you.❤❤❤😄😄😄

[@idi0t1488]

He really hit it on the head. Its so painful to have depression that ive had close deaths that are dwarfed in comparison. I've had anxiety and chronic depression for as long as I can remember. It's so difficult to explain to people, especially to someone who hasn't experienced major depression disorder. The constant dread, fear, deeply profound sadness and everything else that it causes. It affects every aspect of your life. I nearly couldn't graduate high school because of it and was only able to because I was lucky enough to be placed into a program that basically gave me the degree. I've never been able to hold long term friendships or relationships, and although I have a caring family, they will never understand what every day feels like to me, or how painful it can be just to wake up and be conscious. The hopelessness is worsened because of the endless cycle. Although I might feel ok one moment, I always know that the depression will return. There's no escape. Something that people don't really talk about when it comes to major depression is the psychosis that can happen. I've had month long delusions in which I believed I was in direct danger, and just had to struggle with that alone because I rationally knew that I couldn't tell anyone or they would think I was crazy. The hallucinations, visual and auditory, can be so scary to experience alone, even when you know it's not real. And these episodes can last for weeks or months at a time, with only small breaks in between. I hope this helps someone to know they aren't alone.

[@freemindas]

Depression is insidious. It contaminates your whole perspective. Your own mind turns against you with perfect rationalization of negative thoughts and loss of hope. Your ability to experience pleasure feels like it's gone forever. It's a very scary place to be especially when the symptoms manifest in a severe form.

[@justmadeit2]

How are you doing now and what helped?

[@EverythingIgot543]

That's the first time I realise how a depressed person feel

[@ferniezazueta4696]

👏👏👏 well said and put, awesome insight my friend!! So true! It’s so annoying how they try to simplify something so dark and intense.

[@tundeadejimi2479]

Depression isn't sadness. It's an independent feeling of emptiness

[@zynet_eseled]

The scariest part of it is often, when you're under its effects, you dont even recognize you are depressed. Which can make finding the motivation to go seek help, that much more difficult.

[@meintevisser1604]

This

[@evelynramos6102]

I can relate about the gray colored world. For me, the years with the depression, too were the happiest days of my life. Its a duality that still I can’t process but I just know I was so happy

[@found_at_midnight]

I want to say a thank you to all of the comments here. As someone who is trying to understand depression it is helpful to read so many sentiments on how it feels to be depressed and the experience of depression. One thing that I have noticed so far is that every comment here is of high caliber in both intellectual portrayal and level of thought. It seems that those who suffer from depression have high cognitive function and are also highly intelligent.

[@Enemiesexposed]

Ive been severly depressed for 50 years, and I cant take much more.

[@Enemiesexposed]

@Oakleysun Thanks, but frying on acid wont help me. Only God can help me now.

[@sarahTVBOX]

- to me, depression has always been like this; me, being thrown in the middle of a turbulent ocean, it's dark, cold, with both my hands tied up behind my back and my feet tied to a heavy locking shackle ball. the ball keeps pulling me under and try as i might, i can never rise to the surface or even free myself. - another expression is me being trapped in a dark well, and every time i try to climb up to the opening, i always fall back down... it's hell, but now that i've finally been getting help & meds for a few years now, it's so much better.

[@laurahell]

I feel like I'm separated from real life Like there's a wall that's sealed off between me & everyone/everything else & all I can do is watch everyone else live & enjoy their lives while I can only sit there & watch, wishing so bad that I could be apart of it

[@klanderkal]

Agreed..!

[@naesenh.2162]

I've come to notice depression takes many many many forms it isn't one metaphor for one person. Depression is a list of metaphors depending on when you ask the person. As of now depression is not horror it feels like solitary confinement. Imagine waking up in a concrete room every single morning and hoping today is the day they will open the door. Then you realize its been years since that door has been open so long ago that you begin to wonder if it was ever open in the first place. You can go to the park, beach, mall etc. but consciously you are still in the concrete room just hoping it will open. You take substances hoping that will be a key to unlock the door like alcohol, porn, drugs etc. or even do things they recommend exercise, socialize etc., but it doesn't matter you are still in that cell just waiting experiencing consciousness one second at a time.

[@alms4699]

For me it feels like total emptiness, nothing matters anymore especially myself. No hope that anything can change, no hope that anything can be “fine” sometime. And with everyday passing by a little or huge bit of your self worth passes with that. It’s loosing yourself and you can’t do anything about it even if all you want is doing something about it.

[@liv.vivanty]

I have felt some dread like that but not most of the time. But the description is spot on for that feeling

[@laurahell]

I have depression, anxiety & C PTSD I always feel like something is about to happen at any moment as if I'm watching a scary movie & I know there's gonna be a jump scare at any moment but not sure exactly when And when the tiniest thing does happen or I hear a small noise, I react in a way other people would consider to be "dramatic"

[@schlattcoin2797]

Depression to me is a feeling that utterly destroyed my will to live on every level, all bundled up in my head and body.

[@wolfy9549]

Woke up one morning and the moment my eyes opened I felt like my soul got sucked out of my body, like I had died, everything that made me an individual human was gone and all that was left was a barely functional shell. Sleep, cry to god under the shower and eat just enough once a day to stay alive was my new life. Couldn’t fathom hope, didn’t even want to, felt like I was dropped on earth by accident and forgotten and that was the reason I couldn’t get right; because I was unaccounted for, no one watching over, no guardian Angel for me I don’t think I’ve ever truly and intensely wanted anything in life as much as I wanted to stop living in those days.

[@justmadeit2]

How long did it last and what got you out of it?

[@wolfy9549]

@@justmadeit2 Can’t remember exactly, maybe a week or two of basically being crippled. What pulled me out was getting back to work, I was out of a job for a while and was extremely anxious about the future so I had very little movement/routine in my life at the time and it was the morning after I got a job offer that it hit me, I didn’t have to start right away cos I had a bad flu at the time but the prospect of change is what I’m thinking triggered it. Even though it was the last thing I wanted to do I forced myself to start the job and for a month or so I was still pretty depressed, hardly talking, still eating very little only once a day and retreating into a shell after work. But ultimately I think having somewhere to go and something to do helped me slip out of it, the job was construction labour which can be pretty physical so pair that with eating nothing all day I ended up losing all the weight I gained while sedentary without even realising. So thank god I took the plunge and started that job cos even though I hated it sometimes it gave me a bit of purpose and money coming in, which makes you feel less worthless I guess. I wasn’t obese but the chubbiest I’d ever been which didn’t help my overall happiness so it ended up being the easiest weight loss program ever. When people asked how I got so skinny I had to refrain from saying “depression & manual labour” lol. I still don’t fully understand myself tbh and probably only scratched the surface as to why It happened but there’s a lot of factors that came together and put me into self destruct mode I’m guessing

[@justmadeit2]

@@wolfy9549 Thanks for your reply ✌️

[@Merps_0]

My depression I image it is both feeling and how I picture it. If you've ever watched Alice in wonderland, you must remember when she fell down the rabbit hole right? Just a black hole you fall down into or if you've ever watched gravity falls, its the bottomless pit, nothing there but you and the feeling hands that come out of the walls and drag you down. Another image I have is a box, just a white room that you are stuck inside but suddenly the box is cracking and thick, pitch black liquid pours in and drowns you, you can still breath but its hard too, the liquid is so thick that you cant see any light and it takes so much out of you to even move your head. A different image is just a black void, no light, no floors or wall or ceiling, there's no end to it but you can feel chains wrapped around your ankles with weights to them and the longer you stay in this void, the harder it gets to move, a chain around the neck, the wrists, the waist, you just get absorbed into it and the only thing you can do to escape depression is wait for your "prince charming" which is just something that comforts you, music, talking to family, art, anything that helps combat you, a hand that catches you from falling further down the pit, a hand that drags you out of the liquid, a hand that removes the weights and cuts the chains. For me the way depression feels is both nothing at all, just plain old gray numbness but it also can be mood swings but just every negative emotion there is. Hope anybody reading this comment is ok, sorry if this is confusing haha. Just know you are loved and I want you to know that it gets better, that's what I tell myself everyday, "it gets better" because you can trick your brain into being a little more patient and you continue to dredge on a little longer until it does get better, ive seen it happen, ive seen people get better so just know that it will happen to you too :)

[@karenmartin4479]

Your in a deep black hole and you can't get out off it no matter how much you try ❤️❤️

[@carolburnette2019]

Spot on!!!

[@justmadeit2]

When depression gets to a certain level it’s terrifying and you feel great fear and may not sleep well most nights

[@jeffsilver5557]

What depression feels like? You nailed it brother.

[@seanah123]

For me, it's just pure numbness. I never understood what that would even feel like before depression started to kick in when I was 19/20 (I'm 30 now). It's impossible to describe. I would feel happiness and joy, but then when it came down to the end of it, same numb feeling. I think the biggest misconception about depression is that people with it are just sad and depressed all the time. Nope. Most of the time, it's hidden away either with feelings at home, poor hygiene or poor housekeep. If I'm really depressed and I can actually manage to get myself out, I can have a great time and enjoy myself, but at the end of the day I'm still going home to the same mess and the same thoughts that got me there.

[@edbradley6815]

There are no words that define the feeling. Only those that can compare and contrast

[@N_Morpheus]

The worst thing about having to deal with something like this is that anyone who hasn't gone through it doesn't understand it and they think you're just sad. So they demand more from you than you can give. There is still a lack of empathy.

[@Lucy-nw4im]

That’s actually really accurate

[@stevenschmitt3580]

Scott I think you are amazing, I suffer from depression all my adult life and try to explain to people how it feels (not easy) and I still get judged, keep going mr 🙂

[@grand-georgeproductions3857]

I would describe depression as lack of meaning towards anything like life. It feels empty. For example; a glass jar with water in it but as a human being that jar you feel empty like theres no water in there. Another example: Like he said the color might seem vivid, like yellow is yellow but doesn't have meaning or spike any emotion or triggers in someone.

[@jonathanbevan7462]

What you described is exactly how I felt when I was in hospital detoxing from alcohol in the same bed I died in twice.

[@pliiatz7534]

To put it shortly - imagine to wake up every morning without any hope. Now, the talk about heavy body and black clouds, yeah, they are correct too. When I was in my 20s I had periods with the heavy body, dread, loss of hope, black clouds, and what not. Yeah, I could drag my heavy body through a month. But now, at the age of 38, I am so exhausted, the "heavy body" doesn't fully go away. And there is no hope left. And the truth is, I don't know if I am actually depressed, maybe I'm just lazy and whiny.

[@big.venom.snake.boss.]

I felt that quote i remember waking up the day after my birthday and remembering my dad died yesterday

[@jacotromp59581]

For me personally it's this. I do not want to die, but at the same time I don't want to live anymore.

[@klanderkal]

My words exactly. ! Sucks So bad.!!! ... 🙏4U !!

[@yvonnelyons5469]

Brilliantly described. Until the 'experts' realise that they don't know what it is truly like and stop patronising those who suffer the depths of it, then we can't move forward. I have been caused more trauma by those who are being paid to help me and think that they know how it is

[@lukedmoss]

I can't say this is true for others, but in my experience, I like describing depression as something similar to a fluctuating case of tinnitus. It starts softly, subtle, imperceptible, with slowing growing intensity that gradually passes an awareness threshold so as to make it impossible not to notice and hear it. That day, I had a moment of realization like “Wait, what’s that? what am I hearing? Is that real?” You don’t hear people with tinnitus being told by others that ‘it’s all in your head.’ Tinnitus can increase or decrease intensity at any give time. So can depression. It can manifest as 'ringing, buzzing, hissing, chirping, whistling, or other sounds.’ Depression has a variety of manifestations as well. Maybe some days it drops below the awareness threshold but when I realize that and bring my attention back to the present and listen, I can still hear the ringing, still make out the drone. It’s always there, whether I realize it or not. There’s no cure, I just learn to live with it and cope. Though, for some people, it becomes so bad that they do actually end their lives. And let’s say it gets better at some point, it completely quiets. It takes a while to notice as it becomes more quiet and suddenly, I realize - it’s gone. Even when you focus on it, it’s not there. And the silence is nice, yes, but confusing. It’s literally nothing, and that in itself can be depressing. That's how I've felt when I have moments where i can't exactly make out my depression anymore. “When your illness is so tied to your identity, can you truly leave that identity behind? And who would you be without it?"

[@AEHTSCH]

Wow, I had no idea how bad having tinnitus can be, I hope both your tinnitus and your depression get better 👍

[@lukedmoss]

@@AEHTSCH I actually don't have tinnitus! Just depression lol but it's at least more manageable now after five years. I just like the analogy between the two. Tinnitus can be a lot more devastating than people realize, so I find that it's a useful comparison.

[@Diegos1707]

i cant do this anymore man

[@highlyunprofessionalreviews]

This is pretty spot on.

[@yasho.]

One big thing that changed is I stopped fearing death ..i dont even understand how it felt to care so much about saving this life and this body.

[@sekeriyasharif6593]

Depression is something people will never understand until they have one for themselves

[@timproy3499]

For me its like having to stand in the corner of a room looking at the wall and everytime i turn around i get tortured until i look back at the wall

[@Akanio_Vatheros]

My appointment is in June, my second attempt at receiving help, I just gotta survive until then

[@valiantvideo9]

True.. but the heavy description is true.. I would say it's a neverending feeling of mourning.. like someone you love died and it never ends.. day after day horror.. live in agony minute by minute.. hour by hour.. day by day.. week by week.. trying desperately to climb out of a pit where you can barely see the light at the top..

[@ZertrxIsontop]

when I feel depression I just know god is with me the whole time and it makes me feel a lot better bc I know I am not alone

[@christopherpierson8237]

I hate the feeling of nothing n numb

[@arescue]

Hey, I love your channel. I love what you bring to the world, to us. I just want you to know that.

[@Clarys389]

Thanks for the explanation

[@chillsjivemusic]

Scott i have the same.description of depression what u said is really right.... thats how i feel with such episodes

[@mnnomad1870]

Exactly everyone is gone so my depression is very situational and the ones who aren't gone refuse to have a meaningful relationship with me

[@sebastianwaseskuk8669]

For me it feels like I’ve been transported into a world I don’t belong in. One I’m an invisible or un relatable to others in, because they all seem happier, more social and less bogged down than me. Like an alien in foreign territory. Mentally it feels like not even the most interesting exciting things Can spark you into feeling like you once did as a kid. Emotionless like a lighter that lost its spark and let’s out a miserable fuse with each attempt. Depression can’t be described because it probably encompasses other feelings as well like maybe some jealousy, hopelessness, blandness, etc towards the world and others whether it’s there fault or not, it’s hard not to wish it was different

[@12oq]

I have this feeling when I wake up, for an hour or two I feel horrible. Can’t get out of bed because of it, I don’t even want to, it’s almost paralyzing. So basically I don’t want the day to start when anxiety hits so hard. It feels like nothing to look forward to. And I don’t know how to shake it off, i try to think positive it just doesn’t work anymore. After two hours or so it eases out a bit, I’m not saying i feel good but I can function at least. Wonder how many people have something similar in the morning..Any tips how to relax?

[@hourglassdestiny1486]

i had morning depression for months and months and months.. fortunately for me i had to go to work so i had to move on from house.. but it was so incredibly hard.. if i look back now i would probably schedule something to do each morning and make it my morning routine

[@12oq]

thank you for the answer, yes the routine usually helps people, it’s probably the only thing you can do not to make your mind stuck for so long in bad thoughts ..It’s good that it got better for you!

[@matejaturcic1595]

My favourite person 💙.

[@bulafritz]

Yes sir you hit the nail on the head unfortunately

[@esoto5469]

You really help me ❤️

[@Daily__Speed]

for me it is getting stuck on life, like there is noting to work on noting just lost in this world

[@adamantium4797]

Hmm very similar in my case after COVID that feeling fallowed me

[@tony___3077]

For me depression is not a feeling of fear, it is mostly a total lack of energy and motivation, and a deep, deeeep hatred of myself and who I am as a person, and not being able to mentally or emotionally cope or redirect my focus. I hate everything about myself. Also, not being able to truly or deeply enjoy anything in life, feeling no passion or interest for anything in particular, and just not feeling that spark of satisfaction and happiness with social activities and with what life brings, both in its challenges a glories. You don't feel good in your own skin because you feel that you are too inherently flawed to have the future you want in life. You don't look forward to what life is bringing and the world is not an oyster or a glass half full, the world is anxiety-inducing are hard. You are afraid of the future because you are uncertain you will be happy and content, whereas others are confident to know they will make it through in life. It is being pessimistic about everything and not being able to give yourself credit for anything. You don't get to be happy, you simply try to overcome life's obstacles and reset back to baseline. You aren't striving for the future or the goal because you don't see a truly happy future ahead, you are just constantly avoiding failure. You do things not for a sense of fulfillment, but just to have a sense of momentary relief that you haven't completely ruined your life and relieved that you don't have another new reason to hate yourself even more. It is also having no hope that you will have a content, joyful life. It's watching as other people succeed and find happiness in the areas of life you wish you could, that are important to you, knowing you didn't stand a chance and had no hope. It is watching others live the life you wish you could. So to summarize: Lack of energy and motivation ( which reinforces the self hate) Self hatred, no self eseteem Hopelessness that things will be better Hyperfixation on the negative, which then you realize is bad and makes you hate yourself even more for not being the confident, optimist that other popular guys and girls are Fear of the future Unable to enjoy life (big things or little things) Living to avoid punishment rather than to seek fulfillment, because nothing fulfills you. Feeling like an outcast and a burden. And the worst part of it all: deep down, you know this is alll your own fault for not being better, and there is no one at fault or to blame but yourself (except in cases of abuse and such of course)

[@BritEssex]

Im now 52 and when i look back i can see people never understand. The hardest part putting a mask on all the time but inside you feel dread and doom. That in itself is exhausting.. Antidepressants don't help anymore. I just get by on painkillers knowing they will get me in the end(my liver will only take so much). I see it like this ive made it to 52 which feels like an achievement. Anyone with depression will understand that.

[@BritEssex]

Thank you for your message I will give that a go appreciate it. 👌

[@mdkhan3928]

People just talk 💩...it's like hell on earth.😶‍🌫️😱😮‍💨😔😤😭

[@salam14111]

scot take care . it will get better . first year after ADs is bad . it will be happy sad happy sad ....

[@Pazuzu82]

Honestly depression feels like a nothingness like there is a big empty void in your stomach and in your head, well thats what it feels like for me, I get depression quite often and it just hurts so bad, sometimes I really don't know what to do!

[@juliannewman8720]

How are you doing now? I'm currently in Anti-Depressant WD and that's what I'm going through. Exactly how you explained it.

[@Uno-1968]

To me its like being stuck in a very dark room on your own , and you cannot find the door to get out . The door is there but you just cant find it 😢

[@jannikhs]

I am indeed sorry to let my frustration out here. Cause I see that you are trying to explain this truly and sincerelt. The only fucking thing that comes to my mind again and again, now that I have tried to understand once again what is happening to me, is the lack of experiences that have any bound in reality. People/websites speak in either general terms or, as you do here, in picturesque terms. Well let me tell you, i wake up, and I do not want to live. I WISH so deeply that someone would reach out and help me, but when they do, I only wish to push them away. I want help, I want to help myself, but there is a force constantly pulling me towards another direction. I am self harming through alcohol and drugs, and I know this is bad, but I am not handling my mood throughout the day, because I am so angry. I experience self loathing, constantly, yet I know exactly why. Because I am not capable of changing what I am going through. This is simple words I put here, for something so complicated, but I hope for others to read this, so they have any amount of certainty, that they are not alone. Also I write this to urge you, to start explaining things in a manner people understand, and not as waking up your whole family dead, even if it comes from a highly respected psychologist as Jordan Peterson. Speak plainly, please. Tell the world what happens to you, what you do, how you live, so it has some ground in reality that we might find each other in. The feeling of dark clouds or the feeling of your entire family dead, is two examples hard to grasp for anyone except those who feel it.

[@taydatay8571]

My whole family is truly dead my mom father grandmother grandfather uncle auntie all gone i be hurting

[@thefruitdude1306]

Great podcast. I listened to the whole thing while driving with the car :) thank you for making these, I truly enjoy them! For me the worst part about my depression is the hopelessness. Normally I am the last person who would say there is no hope with depression. I think if you have depression it is really unlikely you will have it your whole life... but in my case it is a little bit different. I suffer because of a philosophical topic where is no solution for it... and I can't just forget it... because of that I am truly hopeless that this mental situation will ever change... because there is no solution for it...

[@CraigAnderson-h2h]

Real, clinical depression feels like your mind has switched into a dark lens and the world turns negative inside and out...

[@DSil3nt]

Depression to me felt like I was alive but dead. I had no energy to do anything. Bed rotting hoping I would just die in my sleep. The world seemed grey and lonely. Not wanting to be around anyone. Shit was hard

[@NanaSama]

Honestly to me depression feels like everyone sees vivid colors and I just see it in black and white.

[@Avatar93700]

Its exactly like this, as if everyone was dead !

[@kelseymathias3881]

It's being invisible. People walk right by you like you're not there. Soon even you doubt whether you are, too.

[@hussain1419]

I just need someone to answer this for me.. Is it all worth the attitude? is being positive and finding happiness in the small things will let me sleep better at night in the future? will i really find someone or something that will let me express myself entirely with no restrictions? for the longest time i wanted to just let go and put my self at ease in the arms of a loved one. I know i'm strong, but for how long and for the price of what will i hold everything in?

[@juliantn]

I don't have depression so I won't try to answer. But I saw your question and I want you to know that I read it, and wish I had something useful to say. I wish you nothing but the best.

[@garssympa500]

That IS what depression feels like. I've been there several times in my life.

[@rajgill8653]

Nailed it

[@christopherpierson8237]

It feels like nothing ur numb. Ur mind is just givening u negative thoughts n memories.