What Motivates Narcissists?

[@billybobkingston5604]

My Dad is one and it is very hard work, destroyed my mum, as a child we all thought he was mad, it was only at university reading Anthropology I came across the fact my dad had a nasty personality disorder, he is 87 now and I am his live in career and I am going to write a book, working title," How to live with a Narcissist and not become a class A addict"

[@joanna0988]

That book would probably help lots of people 😅❤️

[@mzliberty7647]

@no chains no more ... yes i agree .... educate ... information is the key ... it should be taught in school, with the same vigor as road safety ..... .. and protection against childhood sexual abuse, another silent epidemic ... x

[@davadoff]

My dad is a narcissist. He ruined me and my mental health, bullying me from a very young age. He destroyed my mum’s self confidence and completely controlled her. I believe he encouraged me to kill myself once, in 2013 maybe (me 26yr old still living at home & him about 55yr old in 2013). No one else was around and he completely denied it afterwards and my mum believed him. He said I’m an awful son (for my mum), and said something like “in 5 years time you’ll be dead and buried and we’ll be so happy without you, living in Spain”. He wanted me to move out but I was too broken and non functioning at the time. Funny you mention about class A… I’m going to smoke some more heroin in a sec.

[@mzliberty7647]

@@davadoff .. i hear you, and i believe you.... my heart goes out to you ... go easy on the smack .... its just a crutch .. you know ... x

[@billybobkingston5604]

@@NeonBlue-un4jc Thank you

[@susanmcmahon4733]

Was married to a narrisist for 28yrs it was HORRIFIC free now and life is PEACEFUL., God God bless anyone dealing with one.

[@GSV845]

22 years here!!! They absolutely don't change!!!! Only regret is not leaving sooner!

[@johnrauner2515]

@@GSV845 Yeah I have to say I don't get at all why anybody would put up with this for years. The first time they tried this crap on me I'd leave, no hesitation.

[@erik6789]

Bless you and this Internet stranger is proud of you and happy for you, you brave soul. Enjoy your peace. Lord knows you've earned it 100000 times over, I'm sure!

[@lisataylor7516]

Since 19 until currently 64😩

[@DJH97]

Wow. This one 💯 spot on. My ex narc was passive aggressive to the hilt. That phrase that the counselor told him about really peaked my curiosity and I started diving deeper cause I knew for a long time that something was way off with our 25 year marriage. I was always blamed for everything. He “did everything right”. (His actual words). The gaslighting was horrendous. Thought I was losing my mind. Divorced him last year. Have lived almost 2 years in peace.

[@1Gibson]

Glad ur free. God bless you. My babies and I are 2.5 months free after over a decade of chaos and abuse from him.

[@jeanettecook1088]

Congratulations! What you have done, freeing yourself, is not easy. I know, I've done it too. Freedom is priceless!🎉

[@DJH97]

@@1Gibson Congrats to you. Now look forward to enjoying your lives.

[@kaystephens2672]

Good for You!

[@markhatfield5621]

Same here. My wife would claim to have 'cooked my favorite food' then serve me raw chicken. Not just blaming me for anything she screwed up. She was perfect, was to be worshiped and could do no wrong.

[@MrzFarlow]

I love “if they can’t get positive attention, they’ll take negative!” So true!!!!!! 👍🏾

[@johnrauner2515]

They are after any attention at all. That's how empty their lives are.

[@1Gibson]

This is so eye opening. After 11yrs God strengthened me to go file divorce. Finding out i was the 5th wife, he was having an affair at end of our marriage and proposing already to her while we were married . In the end, because of his years of abuse in many ways, the courts placed our children with me with him having supervised visiting but he quit his job and left the state to avoid responsibility medically and financially he had been ordered to be responsible for. BUT GOD!!!! We are free, he is now her problem.

[@aliceroberts1980]

This is what my narcissistic husband is going to do he will get himself fired so as not to pay me child support or spousal support I think he will make us lose the house just so I can’t get any money out of it . He already told me if I get the house he will burn it down.

[@MrClarissacain]

@@aliceroberts1980 this is financial abuse. The house is leverage to harm you.

[@mzliberty7647]

@@aliceroberts1980 ... sadly i can relate .... the double standard .... 'dont do as i do.. do as i say' ..... my narcissist even killed my dog.... bcuz i loved that dog.... [ruff] .......... stay strong Alice... x

[@jeanettecook1088]

Freedom is priceless! 💗👏

[@1Gibson]

@@aliceroberts1980 i refused alimony from him. I did not want him to have the sickening gratification in saying im paying her alimony. I wanted nothing from him for myself. I had retired from the medical field back in 2015, the money i did have saved was going toward my eldest daughters college. I found employment working from home just after the divorce was final. Me being who i am and knowing where my faith and strength comes from, i told my children however God allows things to go, just know mom will take care of you guys. Gods faithful.

[@AbyssalManta]

Criminally underrated channel. I love the objective, even handed, dispassionate analysis you do on this naturally inflammatory topic.

[@truhunk1]

My wife is always throwing out my stuff without asking me. I asked her to never do that again, but she still does. She also tries to control everything, and I seriously mean everything.

[@briananderson6558]

My wife does the same thing. She is always going through my stuff and throwing things away without asking me. I had a storage unit with lots of my things from before we were married. She went to "organize" it, but she ended up throwing almost everything away and ultimately closing the storage unit!

[@truhunk1]

No kidding. Same here. I literally have to check the garbage bins before garbage day. So what can we do. They don’t seem to care. Then we sound like the bad guys for dumping them “just because they threw out your old runners”.

[@johnrauner2515]

@@truhunk1 No, they make it sound like that because that's how they operate. It's your stuff, you have every right to be pissed at the total disregard and lack of respect shown to you. If you continue to stay in that relationship whose fault is that?

[@kellydalstok8900]

My ex didn’t throw my stuff out, but he pressured me to do it myself. He isn’t a narcissist per se, he treated me quite well after the divorce came through, but he does have a couple of traits. He’s more likely on the autistic spectrum.

[@claudedesaulniers2300]

Yes, I guess the autism spectrum is possible. It’s too bad he treated you nicely “after” you separation.

[@christinadennis1223]

These people are truly evil individuals.😬 It's so damaging to many people😔. Thank you for explaining so well 👍

[@graemesutton2919]

not so much evil but extremely damaged and self-deluded.There are really just pathetic and pitiful

[@erik6789]

I always loved "They Live" but once learning as I say often here it was NOT JUST ME, and that they're all weirdly.....predictable and hivey? Yes, for want of a better word in English, I'll go with "true evil" as the best and most succinct way to put it.

[@DrEnglander1999]

More importantly, why are they allowed to get away with it? There are rarely consequences for people like this. In work they are the ones who get promotions, more often than not, and in a pro-natalist family-focussed society they get away with behaving deplorably in romantic and social relations too. This needs to change.

[@mzliberty7647]

... they will stonewall... they will start or continue a nasty smear compain against you... they will recruit weak and submissive 'flying monkey's' ... they will .. devalue ur self worth and totally ignore you... in the hope that you will 'just go away' ... so it is a battle .... it is a long hard slog.... there will be... in your face .. lies.... and it is emotionally and mentally draining.. they will do 'anything' to avoid being held 'accountable for their actions' ...... [even breaking the law, or comitting crime] they will do anything they can.... and ofcourse the target is the person trying to expose them... it can be done.... but.. you need to properly prepare ur self and have solid support system behind you .... and calm patience ... just dont give up ! Rebecca Zung .. ?.. has some excellent vids on ... how to win a court battle against narcissist ..... [without becoming a narcissist in the process.. lol..] .. maintain ur integrity and morals.... dont get drawn.. or pulled down to their lvl..... if we act like them... [cold, heartless.... vindictive] ... then.... are we no better than them..?? good luck Katie.. x [from Australia]

[@karenhathaway1631]

💯 Katie - couldn’t agree more

[@TR-nv3if]

It seems ( the ones I know) that they start acting really nice and normal again( trick you) so people tend to give them a pass on their bad behavior..

[@TR-nv3if]

Thank you, you explained this very well…

[@mzliberty7647]

@@TR-nv3if .... yeah... in da olden dayz.... we wud call that 'the honeymoon period' ... then the honeymoon is over... goes to 'build up' then the 'explosion' ... and round n round we go.... Lo....

[@SlobArt]

I’ve done the old treat them as they treat you. 🤣 It is quite an experience.

[@karadiberlino]

I agree! You can only beat them with their own weapons, give them a taste of themselves. Works very well. 😁👍🏼

[@aliceroberts1980]

Yeah I N husband whines how he gets no empathy from me I told him you get back what you put out !!

[@mzliberty7647]

.. geez .. idk ..... if we act like them .... does that make us no better than them... and do we risk... becoming like the narcissist..? maybe try 'grey rock' ..?

[@SlobArt]

@@mzliberty7647 I agree. As I watch more videos I see that no response is better. BUT sometimes I just can’t be silent. It can be a challenge.

[@johnrauner2515]

@@SlobArt No response is a response, it's the best one possible because it has no counter move. That's what gets to them.

[@taraann7753]

You are talking about my family again..it was always drive me here and drive me there right now….never did they ask if I had the time or if I might be busy..they were so busy looking after themselves..i dared not say no and if idid I was blanked and ridiculed..they were miserable times..I am grateful that I have a better understanding of this type of person today.

[@gighomes8892]

My family is that too👍

[@taraann7753]

@Peni Joni He’s a Mr Joe Public, outside saint, inside devil..I can remember as a Child when my Father was due to come home my Mother always said with an exhausted tone in her voice, here he comes wait until he hangs his Fiddle at the door..He was so nice to outsiders and changed the minute he came home..my mother had a hard life..God rest her..I feel for you having to live in that situation..These people are nothing but bully’s. Blessing’s to you.

[@lornamcdade3398]

"I remember studying this way back at university." "They exploit others without guilt." "Exhibit a sense of entitlement." "And the main answer to the question is, because they are insecure."

[@sledge1960]

Describes my narc rather well, my narc was a 'Social Climber' from very early childhood, he always craved to belong among the 'Middle Classes' and be accepted by them, that was his great insecurity, the rest of us in the family, happy to be 'Working Class', were only ever elementary, unloved by him, dispensable and beneath.

[@vernayoung2467]

I have heard many descriptions of narcissistic behavior, but this one was SO descriptive of what l am living with. It was spoken in easy to understand terminology and accurate to a "T". I had figured out many of the traits l was being bombarded with, but now l can put a name to them. Thank you for helping me realize l am not losing my mind.

[@saladfingers.]

Oh lord. My father and my sister. Both sucked the life out of the rest of us. I used to hate the term narcissism, considering everyone is selfish (as said in the video), but bloody hell, it's a different beast. One is only focused on himself (no self awareness), destroyed a whole family, the other is just plainly cruel, and has trapped someone in a relationship, just as my father did to my mother. The rest of us are 'so-so,' but Christ, the two of them. The constant double bind with them is terrible. No empathy, except when using kindness to control.

[@billybobkingston5604]

Double trouble, my God

[@themourningstar338]

Oh I hear you, and feel this comment to my core. My elderly dad and sister both have absolutely destroyed my family emotionally and financially. The level of toxicity and destruction is mind boggling. I think of them as binary black holes locked in a death spiral. I take care of my dad because there's no one else (all my sister does is drain money that he will just hand over instead of using it for household necessities) and we are the only 2 siblings, my mom divorced him 18 years ago. He has bankrolled my sister's drug addictions and hoarding for years, but now she is on her last leg health wise, and I will be shocked if she makes it to her 44th birthday at the end of the year, I don't even know how she's still alive. His health is on the downward spiral also, but I am taking care of him the best I can and try to treat him with dignity even though he really doesn't deserve it. So I am doing my best to wait them out without losing my own mind. It's a pretty goddamned sad state of affairs to be waiting for your family members to pass away just so you can finally have some peace and be free of their crazy toxic web. These videos help so much, I've also been watching a lot of Dr. Carter's channel Surviving Narcissism and Dr. Ramani. Best of luck to you with your binary black holes.

[@themourningstar338]

@@govindagovindaji4662 What!? I'm not doing this to myself, and my situation absolutely does not "somehow satisfy something' inside of myself either. Sometimes circumstances and situations are very complicated, and there isn't a quick fix or easy way out. I'd gladly walk the hell away again and never look back if that was an option. But it is not. Life isn't black and white. Sometimes you do in fact have to put aside your own wants and needs to take care of business and do what needs to be done (rather you want to or not), and just have to suck it up and cope the best way you can. But thanks a million for the stellar psychoanalysis insinuating that I'm to blame for doing this to my self somehow (yeah it's really my fault that the 2 narcs in my family are dying and need care 🙄), and that I'm some sicko that secretly enjoys it all. I'll stick with reality and actual therapy if you don't mind. I know you think you are being helpful, but instead come off as incredibly condescending, ignorant, and insulting.

[@govindagovindaji4662]

@@themourningstar338 You are correct. With families, it is always more complicated than black and white. I apologize.

[@kathleenokane3789]

@@themourningstar338PM

[@angelwings1697]

I work with someone with these traits. They have made my life unbearable at work sometimes. I reported her behaviour but that just made things worse. She came after me even more then. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. I’m nearly 60 years old and can’t deal with the drama. I have Crohn’s disease too and was so stressed I had a really bad flare up and have to take anxiety meds to function and be able to work. Honestly after watching this video I wanted to vomit because she has so many of these traits.

[@mzliberty7647]

.. sending all best vibes your way.. from Australia..

[@jartisteobscure3992]

Your comment was touching ...Please be careful, a very close relative of mine had the same experience. I have always had a strong interest in psychology and had (to my surprise) correctly guessed that my relatives co worker was likely Histrionic. A special kind of issue...That person ended up fired but not before setting off anxiety attacks in my loved one. Then it was revealed that the entire company was managed by a whole team of narcissists that ended up leading to my family member having a mini stroke while on the road driving the company vehicle. (It was part of the contract originally that it could be the primary source of transportation between home, work and assignments, but they later tried to retract it, making my F.M. drive excessively in traffic to deposit it at a separate location and thenbget back to the main campus to retrieve their personal vehicle...one of many absurd issues. I was able to help transition them into becoming an independent contractor and shortly after, that entire company shut down. All this to say, be wary and plan your exit if you haven't already. Good luck! 🍀

[@pavanatanaya]

The Narc I work with Bravely does nothing while keeping other people's score cards publicly.

[@Ariadne76-k3d]

Same here!

[@kathwyatt6814]

My mother used to say of my malignant narcissist father "he thinks he has rights, and everyone else has obligations." But then she was somewhat narcissistic herself, so she would know!

[@americawaters4257]

It's catchy. It can infect those around it over time. People start to lose themselves and do and act in ways they never dreamed. It's traumatizing, which I'm sure you understand. Only by the grace of God did I stay someone with integrity. My daughter is the one who saw what he was doing to me. He thought he would pit her against me. He tried to make her not like me. He let his guard down around her and thought she would think he was cool. He messed her heart up. That hurts more than what he did to me. I'm so glad that I can understand what they do to a person so I can help her. I hope that you and your mom can help each other. I hope she isn't one so you can build something together.❤ Best wishes to you.

[@vaschristou4027]

Your video is spot on. My now ex DIL wreaked havoc in my son's life and by extension to all of us. Of course, she will never take accountability for any part of dismantling a ten year old marriage, out of the blue. She is showing signs of contrition lately, but you can't be sure that it's because her life is falling apart, as opposed to feeling sorry for all the damage she's caused my son and their children😢

[@erik6789]

Not only are you really helping me to get the "shrapnel" out of myself, you are one of the TWO (the other is Ramani and that's THE WHOLE LIST) experts on this I am secretly sending to my nephew. You two, and so far ONLY you two make me feel BETTER and not WORSE overall! Nephew has three more years to endure that crazy, but the second he's eighteen I'm getting him out of there and he won't spend his twenties starving and getting his stuff stolen and being semi-homeless like I did--NOR will he have to be almost 40 before he knows it wasn't HIM that was the problem! May whatever God/gods/Goddess/goddesses or just the luck of the draw/karma that feel relevant to you bless you, Dr. Magee. You are doing noble, difficult, and often thankless work, so at least this once : THANK YOU THANK YOU! You really are making a difference, and I'm sure you are familar with the butterfly effect? : )

[@DarrenFMagee]

I am yes and it’s just Darren (I’m a psychotherapist but not a doctor 😊) and thank you for your kind feedback I’m glad you find the videos helpful

[@sweethaven1929]

Wow you are right I just discovered him,I too follow dr. ramani , she is given me so much strength also , thank you to these expects , for I know I need the help everyday .

[@FoxyGirlWonder]

Narcissists are hyper sensitive, not highly sensitive- as an HSP/SPS (an innate trait) it's really frustrating when people confuse these.

[@DOCTORSAMMYBAYA]

@@FoxyGirlWonder spot on. You are full of wisdom. Please bring your wisdom to my channel too. Lets connect. I focus on narcissistic relationships too. Please watch this one: 15 Things That Make A NARCISSIST PANIC kzbin.info/www/bejne/m5q6XoSjqpV5n9U Please watch and subscribe 🙏

[@shawnazee764]

That's interesting that you say that hypersensitive people are narcissistic. So, I guess I got an early start when I was diagnosed at the age of five as being hypersensitive, and all the physical, mental, sexual, and emotional abuse I went through my entire life was just me seeking negative attention. Interesting.

[@HT-sg9pl]

Every words he said is 200 % right

[@ST-yc7uj]

The same when they say introverts are antisocial, when they are asocial in reality

[@FoxyGirlWonder]

@@MisssMolly Exactly. Thank you, and well said. Highly sensitive (HSP/SPS) is an innate trait that is not brought on by abuse/trauma, it is not a disorder, it is not a disability. It is basically a highly functioning neurological system that takes in more emotional, environmental, neurological, and social stimuli and processes it differently and more deeply, similar to a high IQ where we take in more cognitive stimuli and process it differently and more deeply. Highly sensitive is not only a heightened social sensitivity and sensitivity of our five senses, but sensitivity to foods, medicines, etc. (which is called hypersensitivity in medicine when referring to pharmaceuticals). What is hypersensitivity in psychology? It is a tendency toward emotional overreaction to criticism, rejection, or other social judgment. Highly sensitive person and hypersensitivity are different constructs in psychology.

[@justChrisjones]

Unfortunately we can go from parent to a spouse trained for the job. I felt like a narcissist trying to get out and survive and heal. Because when i went from slave to freedom, all my " loved ones" were really angry and increased the abuse. Thank you for your fine video Darren Magee.

[@johnrauner2515]

That's because your loved ones were fellow narcissists. These people all defend each other. So what did you learn? Your "loved ones" are the same brand of loser as the one you left. And in both cases, did you lose anything of value? Um, no.

[@justChrisjones]

@@johnrauner2515 I just can't believe it all! I was just in survival mode. Now I have peace. Thanks for your comment.

[@amber40494]

I can relate! But its now behind me and i havent heard a peep out of any of them in years! 😊

[@keylzuk]

Brilliant and 100% accurate. My ex Husband is a narcissist and has used my Daughter against me. She reported him when we were married. He has even been arrested. She has now been hoovered by him and thinks I am the bad one because of months of dripping poison and brainwashing. My boyfriend has warned him off and it's been 24rs of peace. My boyfriend has met him once and spoken to him two other times. He said I've met men like that before and he is dangerous. He has broken me mentally. He has focuses 99% on our Daughter and hardly bothered with our Son. Anything you can do on when you leave them and are co parenting will help immensely.

[@Scott-nr2ji]

My favorite is the tact that they take playing subservient. Only to act dominating, sneaking it up on you in a two or three year period. Next thing you know, I'm like, "WTF happened?!" I find that I lost myself so getting myself back, it's amazing the amount of anger they have when you simply tell them that you refuse to be talked to or ordered around disrespectfully anymore. That's when the classic NARC RAGE happens and the mask falls off. But it's a BLESSING IN DISGUISE because that's when I leave and never go back after one or too many times of it in realizing that it's not a temporary bug, but a feature of them! (Once you see that mask off on too many times, you realize that that's who they really are and that's not just them having a bad day or being temporarily off)

[@willowtree6657]

Now I understand the main traits of narcissism- and why . I ready enjoy your channel, I have learnt so much from you, you are an excellent teacher.

[@TC-gx3qn]

This was a very in-depth look into narcissism. Thank you!

[@user-ey4rc5tu4t]

My mother believes that the best of anything is due her wether she needs it or not.

[@hissyfitz7890]

⭐️⭐️⭐️ “They are all image & no depth. ⭐️⭐️⭐️

[@jeffreyjackson5229]

A long memory, yes. Long story short, I stopped helping my father with his lumber business in 1986 because it was in my best interest to do so. Fast forward to 2012 and he intertwined that with a slight of my professional accomplishment when my sister spoke of how well I was doing. I laughed it off, but thought, "that was 26 years ago- are you still upset about that?" Now, I know why.

[@moirapretorius9775]

My husband is doing it to me for 25th years and I'm not sure what to do, I lift him but we not divorced yet.

[@davadoff]

I suggest you cut that toxic person out of your life forever, and never see them again.

[@olikiahill260]

I agree with the other person divorced him and never see him again peace is wonderful

[@mariadolhai]

Hi Moira, You left but did the pain left you as well or that is still there? What I say to my clients: build healthy boundaries fast! And behind safe doors start the healing process. Here is how healing starts: Start finding out what it is that you would love to do. Spend time rediscovering all those small and great things you love in life. May that small thing be a beautiful fragrance in your room, a great tasty bite or watching a fun show. Whatever it is, know what you love well, make conscious notes of them, then go and do the activities which makes you happy. If you had stuffed for 25 years then you are probably starving of love, fun and freedom to be yourself. Narcissist use a weapon of disconnection. They alienate you from the fun of life, from the sense of belonging and wholesomeness. Instead they make you feel that you are not enough and you should be afraid. These are their own feelings and they project them on to their victims because they can’t resolve these emotions themselves. But Now is the time to live, go and live your life wisely! If you need help let me know but I have a feeling that if you already were strong enough to leave the suffering behind you will be strong enough to rebuild your life with love, wisdom and beauty. All the best ❤️

[@ronwalker4849]

I KNOW A NARCIST WHEN I ENCOUNTER ONE. I DON´T PUT THAT EPITHAT ON ANYONE FOR NO REASON. THE EXPERIENCE IS HORRIBLE, IT IS LIKE A GROWING CANCER.

[@doriangrey9702]

Thank you. New subscriber. I'm so thankful to you explaining the dynamics and horrible abuse from people with personality disorder. My coworker targeted me, ruined my reputation, gang stalked and had me ostracized. Its horrible abuse to go through. I held out for over a month never reacting. Fake smile on my face. I just quit last week. I still don't know what their end game was. Did he win because I left, or did I win by walking away to save myself?

[@mzliberty7647]

... You Win ... you Saved ur Self.... sorry bout ur job and watt u went thu tho...

[@terryjohinke8065]

I was married to a narcissistic woman, beatuful on the outside, quite nasty inside. Gaslighting me was almost a sport and she wanted me to move out to get possession of a moderateley wealthy home and retirement funds. Eventually she moved out but I still lost that house and $1.1 MILLION TO HER.Your description of narcissistic behaviours in this video is Spot On. Sadly I wasted 30 years being married to and trying to please her, overseas trips every 2 years, sexually and as a Community person. My best times were away from her, involved in sports to keep myself in shape for her. I should never have married her. Even friends of mine have since said how she made them feel uncomfortable in our hhome when she walked in. Good job , Darren

[@matilda4406]

"no one challenges them", they are conditioning people around them not to challenge them. So my question is, should they be challenged ?

[@Laura-nl8df]

The short answer is no. Depends on the relationship. If you have to be around that person you need to create boundaries. That's challenging in itself. If you can deal with their response - go challenge. It's easier to understand their behaviors and work around them. Pick and choose the battles carefully. They're not usually worth it. One possible result is...they might seem to forget it all happened in the first place. The pretend game.

[@matilda4406]

@@Laura-nl8df thanks for that. It's true, having knowledge doesn't mean confronting them with it. Share with those who will appreciate it. I think of the saying, "don't throw your pearls before swine".

[@allsgodisall8787]

The number of abused by narcs seems to indicate that NPD is not rare at all ...and may be pretty common

[@raul-j5g7q]

Second comment: alcohol and drugs are the fuel for this scared little sober character. This helps them with the transition from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde. We all need to understand where this “disorder” comes from. Alcoholism it’s been around for centuries.

[@bobtaylor170]

I have a first cousin who is a malignant narcissist. He's a total son of a bitch, a sanctimonious, vicious man who is an elder in his huge church. I doubt seriously that he drinks or uses drugs. Power, money, screwing people over: those are his drugs.

[@raul-j5g7q]

@@bobtaylor170 I believe these people were worshiped as children. Grand parents and parents waiting on them to call all the shots as a belief that this type of action would make them grow up and mature to become more independent and powerful as adults and showing them pride for giving orders. Almost like the parents and grand parents wanted to be the little kids and be told what to do and want this very powerful kid to destroy anything in their path.

[@bobtaylor170]

@@raul-j5g7q , well, that wasn't the case with my cousin. The parents were rather cold, I think, and my uncle punished my cousin with abusive whippings. At the same time, they fostered and encouraged clannishness, money hunger, keeping secrets but snooping into the private lives of others. I don't know that research will ever solve these mysteries. I don't believe it will. I'm skeptical of the whole "personality disorders" concept. It ignores human sinfulness.

[@raul-j5g7q]

@@bobtaylor170 well I think the alcohol then skipped a generation with your cousin but alcohol led his parents to do what they did to your cousin he fell victim to their behavior good or bad on alcohol and possibly other substances that drove his parents to their teaching patterns. But your cousin being a sober narc that baffles me. He must be a stone cold character. Like some sort of a hybrid narc Huh 🤔

[@bobtaylor170]

@@raul-j5g7q , the parents weren't drinkers or driggers. Stone cold. That's my cousin. Heartless. My God, what an awful failure of a human being.

[@brianjones2384]

Point out the double standards that narcissists hold you to. They need to be accountable for what they say and do. If they aren't willing to change , then it's time to leave them alone.

[@michellebaca1024]

This is the best information i’ve ever come across reading or watching videos! You are amazing!

[@debbiejames119]

I am so grateful to find you, everything you say is so right! Thank you for your input, so appreciate your knowledge and it totally reflects what I have encountered.

[@debbiejames119]

Bless you, it's a journey and I always say, what was my part in this because I want to reflect on myself and how I can I do better next time. Your videos are exceptional very nice to have confirmation and support ❤

[@johannalindskog7715]

Hey 🤗 Ok first I have to tell you that I’m from Sweden so I’m sorry for bad spelling 🤭😋 My father is a narcissist, but I didn’t actually know that for over 37 years….today I’m 39 and I see my self in a different way. I’m still processing everything and I’m sad but I allow myself to be however I want to be, without him telling me that I’m no good because I know I’m better than good ❤️ I live in a healthy relationship with a man that truly loves me and for the first time I feel safe 🥰 I have 3 kids and I live every day telling them that they are the best and that I truly love them for how they are so I hope that I braked the horrible circle we had in our family for generations But my hart still brakes when I think about my mother and the afoul life she have with my dad, she doesn’t have anything to say about anything, doesn’t have her own voice and she is always sad and tired 😪 She doesn’t have the strength to leave because he has all the power and money of course so she keeps up with the charade of the perfect wife and life 😔 I really hate when my mother takes sometimes and it’s her voice but all I hear is my dad talking 🤬 I don’t know what to do, I try my best to tell my mom that I can hear her and understand her but It’s wherein me down and sometimes I just loose it all together and I’m screaming at my dad that he is so f*cking horribly in every way 😡 but I know that I have to pull myself together because when I scream = he wins Everyone has always thought that I grow up in this perfect family with a lot of money and had no worries and I remember me just smiling and said yes, but it broke my heart a little bit every time and feeling sad that I didn’t have that feeling, the feeling of happiness and love, it’s was always just the opposite…there was never any love 😔 I grow up trying to help and please everyone else but my self, but it was just that one ting that I was good at, to help other people and ye it’s was a nice feeling but I really wanted someone to see me, love me and feel safe I did try to find that love many many times, I thought I just let all of the guys get what they wanted and then they would love me….hmm… it didn’t work at all, the guys a had was all mean in every way and if there were a guy that treated me good I blow him off…..way?! 😰 I could do this all day, telling you guys about all the trauma that I adore but I don’t think I have to, you already know a narcissist who keeps saying that you are no good, you suck at everything…. but in the end in my story I won, I’m sooo blessed with a lot of love around me, my big man that loves me and always keep me and my kids safe and I can say I love myself to ❤️ Today I’m not broken, I little ruff around the edges but I feel good and I feel that now is the time to speak up, I’m happy to tell my story to other people that in some way can hear and see that although your are at the bottom you are a worrier and you can and you will get up and you will see that your not alone, never alone and you will find your love and the feeling of being safe ❤️ Now I’m not going to write so much more, but know that if you need someone to talk to, I can always tell you about my one life, with topics like abuse, rape, fraud, addiction, threats and other form of violence ❤️ I know that with 100% that if I’m being open to tell my story then I may safe someone else 💕 Love from Johanna ❤️

[@mzliberty7647]

... awesum comment Johanna ... to overcome such adversity is quite inspiring .... with love, from Australia.. x

[@TypeOneg]

Has your narc ever given back a gift you have given to them ? Like a whole ass Christmas gift - a 25 pc Dremel kit that she WANTED, and left it on my doorstep after a fight, 3 months later, UNOPENED!! I know they like to remind you frequently of all the things they've done for you or given to you, but giving back a thing of value that was given really as a gift, being tossed back in your face, that always mystified me. It's like a way for them to devalue you beyond your personhood. As if to say you're so worthless that not even the gifts that you've given me are worth keeping. Here let me make you a king size quilt, then so you can give that back to me!!

[@davadoff]

That’s a weird one. Are you sure they’re a narcissist? If they are, then I guess they give it back for control reasons.

[@davadoff]

@@sami6086 my narcissist father was similar with gifts. Saying this is crap, your thoughtfulness is worthless, you shouldn’t have bothered. He’s always been very obsessed with controlling money and not spending money though, so I thought that was the reason (this was years before I realised he was a narcissist too).

[@RonaldViola]

What I like about honest discussions about narcissists is that it is important for non-narcissistic individuals to understand this personality type. I believe the narcissist in mythology is the god of war. It appears the one central need the narcissist needs more than anything else is learning to live a life of meaning outside the ego.

[@donnas.1576]

How do you know my ex so well? In 2003, we came to the brink of ending our marriage because he could not acknowledge how his online romantic activities with other women had hurt me and damaged our relationship. He had some remorse and we decided to try and make it work. Now at the end, he became emotionally abusive and I was surprised that he had developed such disdain and contempt for me and said he regretted the day he married me thirty five years ago and now wanted a divorce. Two weeks prior to this, we were actively planning our retirement.

[@petershaw2566]

I offered to tutor her young son in high school mathematics! She interpreted this as implying she couldn't and took umbrage for six months ( no talk and i was in coventry🤔) Previous to that I complimented her for budgeting for Xmas but again she intetpreted it as implying she - in desperation at the eleventh hour had to scrimp and save just to buy her son a present! Again I was persona non grata! They process reality as delineated and explained by the author above 🤔 In befriending or partnering a person with this disorder one cannot expect much sane love or gratitude back! If any! So is the price of the candle worth the light😶

[@kissmyazzbitches4wat]

Totally agreed. They don't reflect , they deflect.

[@honeybun1544]

Im interested in what causes this disorder. Is it extreme neglect?

[@LifeChangePlans]

I discovered to late. The grandiose, altruistic kind generous businessman. I wounded his ego and he went ahead with his threats of taking me to court to evict me from the home we were meant to share. Countdown to precarious eviction in Spain. Because he can. Raising awareness of post separation abuse. Published author Loren Keeling.

[@tor5457]

Thank-you for this concise, insightful, densely packed presentation, one of the best I've heard thus far on the subject among some very good ones.

[@moebanshee]

My narcissist is a neighbor.. all I had to do to make him my enemy is say no. Literally I didn't even get the word out of my mouth I just pointed for him to get off my property because he was yelling at me. I dared to weed whack my lawn when he wanted to cut it. Since then and it's been 4 years now I have been "the enemy". I don't talk to him I don't associate with him. But he's going to punish me until I beg him to forgive me and he can hold his hand under his ass and wait for that. The rest of the neighbors are all afraid of him so they go along with him and we've got one flying monkey on the block who will do anything including going to court on his behalf just so he won't pick on her. She even told me she knows that everybody has a problem with him but she gets along well with him and she wants to keep it that way. Good on her.

[@sandie683]

So so damaged and fractured, my Narcissist is! Thank you⚘ It gets worse and worse each time and he writes the nicest sweetest sorry texts. Then after, it turns around the same and how!

[@b.garland1826]

I appreciate this one very much. I would also appreciate any insight into dealing with narcissistic coworkers or leaders. What are specific tactics, responses, or words someone could use to survive this in the workplace?

[@abhinavpatni78]

Hi...should I, confront my Enabler wife ( Arranged Marriage ) of 12 years about my Narcissistic Mother...with all sincerity?? We have 2 boys...and i fear that they will both grow up feeling Worthless...which I could not bear. We (Me, My Narcissistic Mother, my Gaslit Father..who has more or less become a Narcissist towards me and is a HUGE enabler, my wife and our 2 boys...11 and 8 ) all live together...and the option of me and my boys moving out is nowhere in sight as we are financially drained...and now ( for the last year or so ) my mother has gone on an all out smear campaign and I am unfortunately loosing any support that I had... from the extended family (both sides)...which was already Very less to begin with....What should I do?? Please Help 🙏🙏

[@mariadolhai]

Hi Abhinav, I know you had asked Darren but while you wait for his response, see if the following helps: I am so sorry for your situation but not all is lost. There is great hope for you yet. The outcome of your situation depends on how creative YOU are with what you have available to you. Do you know the phrases: Rome wasn’t built in a day. The wise builds his house on a rock and a foolish one builds on sand. and Don’t throw your pearl front of pigs they will trample on it. You have something very precious which you can use to build yourself some very healthy boundaries. Your pearl is TRUTH. Your love for truth is your anchor to wisdom, logic, peace and common sense. Using truth you can build yourself up! You can become strong and not manipulatable. Building healthy boundaries takes time. It is not going to be done in a day but it can be done if you are diligent and consistent. You can only do this for yourself. You can not do it for others but they may benefit from it. Your children can benefit from watching you model to them how to live in a way where emotions, thoughts and other people’s expectations do not manipulate you. Every day bit by bit you keep doing this consistently. You are keep learning how this is done and keep putting this in practice. Keep on keeping on. You can’t expect your children to be like you but you can hope that they will inherently follow your wise examples. Your wife can’t be changed either. At best she too can be impacted by your conscious behaviour and choices. Basically, don’t let manipulation and other people’s unconscious behaviour determined and set your own value system. Let truth set your values. Keep your own business close to your heart and consciously do things you love, make sure this is far away from the narcissist. Maybe play some sport or go for a walk. Do an activity which doesn’t cost anything and free from the narcissist’s ability to interfere with. I have seen this technique work time and time again. True, the people I have know who went through this also ended up leaving the narcissist behind at the end or find a way to keep them separate. I know one family who lives in a small apartment, very similar situation to yours, even there the son made an effort to keep his room free from the narcissistic parents. He found a small corner to work in where nobody else is allowed to pester him. Maybe you also have to find a small room which is just for you to go to when you had enough and need to rejuvenate. Last but not least. Regarding comforting your enabler wife. Do not let your empathy to be taken advantage of! Learn how to protect and manage your empathy. Empathy without wisdom is exposed manipulation. How do you know that you are using your empathy wisely? The rule of thumb is: Give respect where respect is due and don’t give credit to those who don’t deserve it. In every situation you have to assess this. You have to be on your guard and asses wisely, see if she truly needs comfort or is she just asking for undue credit in the form of comfort. It is wise to say NO when someone wants to manipulate you. Narcissist and enablers don’t always have the understanding to know who to give respect to and they don’t understand why respect and truth is precious. Therefore they will give respect to the most undeserving person and they are impudently handling credit. I know that this is a broad answer, if you have any questions let me know.

[@hadiaharoon4529]

Very insightful! Thank you for sharing. It's definitely helpful.

[@tesscastro2652]

Thank you Darren for i have given myself permission to disengage from a longstanding friendship that has every point taken on your excellent list of signals that i was in such an abusive situation. And its true that when you try to go back and repair any argument/ separation when u are full up done, the behavior WILL RETURN after a 'honeymoon-like ' period and Get Worse!! Bless you for your command of the English language of Hope in these situations 🙏❤️🙌👏

[@marichuithen6951]

“It’s only those closed to them, that get to see the real them.”

[@johnrauner2515]

No, it's only those they can do this to in private who see it. Not the same thing.

[@teresarodriguez821]

Thank you! for all your thoughts, insights and great content, appreciate your support and understanding.

[@jeffreyjackson5229]

"all image but no depth"-👍

[@jeffreyjackson5229]

If they can't get positive, they will get negative. Yup! Exactly why I don't react or will bring it to the attention of our supervisor.

[@AndyWearsPants]

I don't think treating their behavior is the solution. If the root problem is a fractured identity, which is almost universally due to neglect and abuse in childhood, then working with them to build a new and more complete identity is necessary. Have you noticed how many narcissists dream of getting paid to be experts in personal growth? They need to believe they've changed. So help them to change - but with humility. If you place yourself above them, you immediately disqualify yourself by reminding them of people who abused them in childhood. Of course they resist and resent behavioral interventions, because experience has taught them that people who do that consider them worthless, stupid, disposable, as a tool, or a scapegoat. So don't even try to treat their behavior. Set boundaries and acknowledge the traumas that have damaged their ability to trust and feel safe. Remind them of how you are safe, but do not pander to them. And never, ever, condescend to them. When you do that, you signal that you are like the abusers from their childhoods who drove them to develop the coping strategies that manifest as narcissism in adulthood in the first place. Enter on equal ground instead.

[@petergreen96669]

I haven't watched anyone who knew more about this or explained it as well. Thanks.

[@waynec369]

I'm wondering if anyone has figured out why two people can grow up with narcissistic parents and one of them turn out to be narcissistic while the other does not. I'm the oldest and I don't consider myself to be narcissistic. I feel I fall well into the "happy helper" category. My youngest sibling, 5 years apart, is highly narcissistic. My late father was an overt and I would bet the farm he would qualify for NPD. My mother exhibits covert traits and I still can't decide if she meets the criteria for NPD, but I would say she's close. I was the golden child in my father's eyes and the scapegoat in my mother, and oftentimes my father's eyes as well. Or, either my father simply enjoyed delivering beatings. The youngest of us three, my sister, is the golden child in my mother's eyes. She didn't shine for my father until he and I became estranged in the late 90's. We were pretty much isolated from outside contact from people other than aunts, uncles, etc. Because "we didn't know how to act" around others. If one of us siblings did something considered embarrassing by my mother we would never go visit those people again. And, we would hear about it, for years even, how us kids, as a whole, embarrassed her in front of so and so. As I grew older, and away from my siblings, I found I would embarrass myself in social situations. I had no idea, really, how to behave and was winging it the whole time. I tried to remain quiet as much as possible and observe. But, it seemed only the playful insults were what I learned and stuck with me. I believe since it's what I grew up with, I knew how to let those slide off and could laugh about them. I began to see how mostly everyone else took the playful insult from me the opposite of how I intended. So, I had tons of confusion and even more work to do. But, I was able to see, and learn, how this negatively affected others and learned how to stop it. I learned I could emphasize with my "victim," as it were, and try to fix things with an apology afterward. So, to this day I will not engage with someone who hurls playful jabs, or insults, at me. I laugh it off and move on. (Sometimes there's a highly narcissistic person hiding under that conversation that can't take reciprocating comments, however.) I see highly narcissistic traits in damn near every one of the family members I have met. I have members who have become employed in positions ranging from associate editor of a major newspaper, local fire chief, director of the local paramedics (title escapes me), home builders, religious leaders, etc. With others who are/were thieves, bootleggers, and drug addicts. They ALL feel entitled to what the other has, and/or can provide them and even get angry when the other doesn't produce what is wanted. From my point of view toxic narcissism pervades every nook and cranny of my world. Surely this isn't the norm. Could this be why the family members that I barely know moved far away? I mean, they have the perfect excuse for not showing up at every family reunion when they live a day's journey away. I have often wondered if I was mixed up at birth with someone else's baby. How, if one can self-reflect, gain empathy, and make changes, can others not within the same family?

[@mzliberty7647]

... yeah... i guess.. the narc parents... give us all 'roles to play'.... they make us compete for love, affection and approval. the family dynamic is indeed.. complex.... often extended family members [and close family members too] will move 'far, far away' .. [lol]... to escape the cult like atmosphere.. or the manipulation .. or the abuse... we learn, as children, to cope in a kind of 'survival mode' ... even when exposed to the same kind of 'environment' ... no two ppl will 'be the same' maybe Monty Python was on to summin when they said..... we are all individuals.. lol....

[@Ariadne76-k3d]

What I have read is that we are all born with certain tendencies and those are either encouraged or discouraged by our environment.

[@zoeymckeown3194]

there's a genetic basis for narcissistic personality disorder, one sibling may inherit it and another may not. 🧡

[@brianjones2384]

I think that people who were abused are hurt and devalued. Then when they find someone they feel superior to , they hurt and devalue them , as a way of overcoming their feelings of worthlessness.

[@JohnJenkins-l4p]

Your video is absolutely right it just needs someone such as yourself to point out these traits my Father who has been gone 5yrs made my mother's life, and mine very difficult.2 work colleagues from an early job . The sickening thing is going by traits described I can see them every where.

[@danuk2136]

Thank you so much.. i needed to hear this..you are absolutely right throughout..the fake front, the ego driven nastiness..the need to lie cheat and blame others for their actions.. thank you.. I've recently broke up with one. Subscribed 👍

[@DarrenFMagee]

I’m glad you found it helpful

[@Jerseygirl777]

Spot on! Thank you for your time this information is invaluable.

[@kadootje77]

Do you have a video about coercive control? And does it link to narcissism? Since I am high sensitive, I can always sense his anger and frustration, he often sends out strong vibes that I am obligated to do something or say something.... I sense I can not go out for a walk when he is in the house and he constantly keeps his eyes on us.... I have boundaries now, but he still prods. It is so confusing how these peabrains have such depth of mean and manipulation skills to cause destruction and pain and fear....

[@DarrenFMagee]

I have a playlist on manipulation and coercion with topics like gaslighting, coercion tactics etc if you'd find anything there helpful?

[@kadootje77]

@@DarrenFMagee Thank you I will have another look

[@rbjerineck]

When i asked my then husband to do "love and logic" classes with me because my lkids school offered them, he got uber mad and said I was "accusing him of being a bad father". Another time he drove over a big piece of metal, so I asked him to stop so we could check the tires. His parents were with us, so he had to be "the man" and pretended not to he hear me, while his dad kept telling me "the tires are fine". Well, surprise surprise one of the tire was shredded. Instead of apologising, my husband snapped at me and told me "you'd better not ram it in my face". Obviously the marriage went from bad to worse later.

[@hubertmantz1516]

They have little if any motivation from my personal experiences. Except for mooching off of you believing that they have an entitlement to your money and possessions which you will never see again!

[@ishyandmikkischannel8811]

Well observed and well said.

[@etaokha4164]

My narc mother saw my pregnancy as a shame, her grandchildren are a shame to her, she criticised my relationship and spoke badly about me and my children and my pregnancy to other people. Not long ago my narc mother came to visit me when I had my baby she started a fight with me for no reason and she hold grudge and yet she goes to church lolz(definitely not fooling me) and it didn't stop there she brought up the fact that my kids have different dad's and the way she said it was aggressive. I showed her the door and blocked her number and haven't spoken ever since and she hasn't visited too. I love my kids more than anything and don't care which father they came from. I keep my kids away from her miserable sad life because she's a sadist and won't allow my innocent kids to be surrounded by someone like her. She has successfully taught my nephew to disrespect his mother and has turned my foolish sister into her flying monkey.

[@harmonizedigital.]

I had this business partner. And I pointed out that he was being selfish and he said I did something wrong by pointing it out. He said "once you put something like that out you can't take it back".

[@kevinatkinsakaklove1535]

Hi I just found your channel thank you for the information God bless you👍🏼❤️❤️❤️🇺🇸

[@jeffreyjackson5229]

"Projecting that hurt on to someone else." My parents have always been great at that and why I stay away from them.

[@mariannebryant2636]

This was very helpful … thank you

[@mariadolhai]

Thank you, another great video! 😃 I have a question: Do you have a video where you discuss the topic on narcissist tribes? This is what I mean by narcissist tribes: Sometimes in a family, work or a social group if almost everyone is a narcissist then they back each other and this seemingly “loyal” act keeps the circle of suffering going. I think this would be a great eye opening video for many people if you haven’t got one. The idea came to me from a lady’s story who was not only pushed out of a yoga class because she didn’t agree with the fact that the teacher started indoctrinating members into his conspiracy theories but he encouraged other students to treat her meanly even outside the classroom and those unconscious followers did 🤦🏼‍♀️. Obviously she left the class but her pain was so great afterwards because she was going there to heal not to get re-traumatised. And I have a feeling many people would have similar stories.

[@DarrenFMagee]

Thank you for your suggestion

[@mariadolhai]

@DavidGreg 1184 👍🏻, how are you?

[@karenhathaway1631]

Agree with Maria, groupings of this very noticeable in the military setting. Very easily hidden behind the facade of automatic respect, & heroism that they believe they are due. The general public at large would be shocked by what goes on from the top down within what appears on the outside to be a job vocation with morally high standards. The complete opposite is commonplace & as the military ‘self regulate’ they actually reward rather than reduce the problem.

[@mariadolhai]

@@karenhathaway1631 wow, I didn’t know this but it absolutely make sense. I only seen something similar once in an Indian movie where the police department was depicted as a complete bunch of narcissist. Of course in the movie the hero removed their power. But in real life this might takes much, much longer. Interestingly enough the other day I witnessed something, I was listening to a radio station and the presenter said “in our station we are divided in to two different political parties opposing each other but I don’t care I have the microphone so I promote my group 🤦‍♀️😆🤣”. And he went on completely insulting the other party. I thought this was absolutely inappropriate thing to do yet it seems like as if this would be common place. As if the public opinion have to follow his way of resolving differences. I suppose people who behave like him help other narcissist groups to thrive.

[@mariadolhai]

@DavidGreg 1184 lovely to meet you David. I am located in Australia. I recently started my own channel where I touch on narcissistic behaviour but my expertise are not focusing on that type of characters. I talk about conscious, wise and logical living. I like Darren’s videos because his presentation is logical and his description on the narcissistic character type resonates with my obsession. But I am not here to socialise or meet people, just to appreciate the goodness of this channel.

[@dvsdv4347]

True, the being grateful to you for a generous act does not last long, but if it is reversed you are meant to be eternally grateful. Foolishly I opened a joint bank account with a n. and of course the money was drained out by the n. I closed the a/c and he said he was wrong to do this to someone who had helped him so much and that he would pay it back !.Then about a week later he was berating me over and over again for closing the a/c saying I had ruined his chance to get a credit card. He was declined by 6 banks that I know of.

[@joartym6649]

Both my children had a very happy childhood, however. Sadly I have suspected one of adult sons has NPD. Something happened to him in his late teenage years. I have a strong gut feeling knowing his current lifestyle and seeing a video with him in it. Note: I have a Masters degree and just observed. I've seen him work people with a calculated charm, to obtain his targeted gain, go from job to job, constantly moving cities and states, ( as if he is running to better things, to then move again). With me he either works his charm to meet his needs, ( of course mum helps), has become violent when I said " NO" THEN to be told " Don't you" or wanting to control other matters. I stood firm there also, and he shut down. Last episode, (amongst others ...sigh), he accused me of stealing money from him, he reported this to the police, like all other incidences with others, and was firm as I did not do this. He has moved on AGAIN, yet aimed to cause friction between my mother and myself, with a wild accusation which we know is not true. As a mother it hurts what he has done to me, yet, the hurt of abuse is not acceptable.

[@johnrauner2515]

Then why the hell did you let him move in? WTF? If one of my children did this I'd disown them and make it clear they are not to ever return until they have learned how to behave. And I'd mean it.

[@joartym6649]

@@johnrauner2515 he did not actually move in, ( he had his own home and in debt ++++++ due to our recent COVID workplace crisis and amongst his use of other things). However, he would ring me everyday in a state of despair. As a Mother of course I wanted to just support him. I fed him, fed his animals, listened for hours about his $ problems and that of his friends turning their back on him. The end of my straw came when I was accused of stealing $ etc. FFS, I don't need it + he rang a local car wash Manager 3 times accusing his workers of stealing $35 !!! REALLY I thought it was $15!!! It's the nature of the beast I'm dealing with. Oh by the way he is my only DISTANT son now as his brother died 7 years ago. More to the story, and of course he has MOVED on again, till he becomes restless AGAIN.

[@chuckkottke]

Thank you Darren for your excellent synopsis to allow us to better identify and understand pathological narcissists. My neighbor is dealing with his abusive brother and sister who fit this description; they are both into real estate and better-than-though behaviors, but money is never enough to satisfy them, neither are their expensive vehicles. Having been ignored has made them lash out in weird ways, by recruiting people at bars, telling them lies about my neighbor, and goading them into petty attacks like laying on the horn at all hours and calling him names every time they go by. Fortunately my neighbor has been recording all of this and notifying the authorities, but he feels a sense of unease as their tactics shift and they find new recruits. It's unlikely they will ever come to terms with their narcissistic personality disorder, so the next option may be court. In the meantime, what do you suggest? I provide an ear to listen and a second home in case he's in real danger, but is there anything else I could do to alleviate his stress?

[@DarrenFMagee]

Sometimes a listening ear is as much as we can offer as friends. Some situations people need practical advice as well as emotional support from professional organisations

[@chuckkottke]

@@DarrenFMagee Thank you Darren, I really appreciate your diagnosis and advice. I provide emotional support, but finding other resources here in the US is a bit of a challenge. It seems like his relatives have had less success lately in finding recruits, and the main trouble makers are all headed to court for disturbing the peace and other violations of the law, which may cause them to turn in the brother and sister as the root cause of it. As a final option, my neighbor is considering changing his name and moving to another state to start his life anew.

[@demigaines5644]

THANK U SO VERY MUCH FOR SHARING THIS I HAVE LEARNED ALOT FROM UR CHANNEL. I WAS INVOLVED WITH AN OVERT MALIGNANT NARCISSTIS THIS PERSON MADE A FOOL OUTTA ME AND DISCARDED ME LIKE TRASH HE USES ME AND DISCARDS ME TREATING ME LIKE I DON'T EXIST NARCISSISTIC ABUSE IS VERY BRUTAL

[@chosennotforsaken]

Imagine how brutal life is once you get to the stage of reparenting yourself after having a malignant Narcassistic mom. I lost friends and lovers. Meanwhile. I didn't know I was hurting them due to the trauma inflicted upon me since birth. Sadly a great part of mom's family is Narcassistic. It is sad. Very disempowering and the trauma is too much.

[@budogacha]

Mr Magee.The more I kno abt narcs I just have to run into me to fix the leaks ,erect boundaries or change my attitude or narcs will chase you outside of yourself to the point of no return xtremely crucial for self preservation. Thx senor M, for givjng us tools for these fools bsc all we had was a hammer🤣🤣

[@lancevangemst5086]

Could you do an in depth video on how to help a narcissistic person please.

[@johnrauner2515]

They don't want help because we are all lesser beings and they know everything. Don't waste your time with this.

[@deeadams7049]

Hey Dr Magee ... Good to see you looking happy and well.. .. another great vid from you .... Loads of accurate information and practical advice ... Never underestimate a person with these traits ... They can hold a grudge, longer than God... Lol... (just a lil joke... not ment to offend) waiting for you to be effected by some tragic life event. Waiting for those moments of emotional vulnerability ..... the haunting callousness of their attacks honestly make me feel... There is.. no redemption ... for these ppl.... I refuse to be drawn in by these ppl... I don't want to be like them... I will not retaliate with the same malicious intent .... They may very well deserve it ..... But ... They can not make me be the same as them ..... Still finding my feet ... and thanking you Dr Magee .... the voice of calm reason and knowledge.

[@therealspixycat]

Very very interesting how describe this disorder especially how they also can emotional implode. May you can elaborate more on the imploding narcissist to better understand this disorder

[@michaelgrant6032]

Simple answer. To fulfil their quota of ongoing mistakes a) narcissistic public behaviour to make you feel you are missing out b) pure insanity in their friendzone forcing you to give up give in and give over so they can take off of you but force your emotions to sympathise c) made utterly miserable and depressed emotionally so you become completely co dependent whilst they do worse like cheat, lie, steal, plot and scheme d) ruination and possible death or ill health due to high levels of toxicity, shallow, petty, vengeful 'lets talk about it' behaviour that goes ultimately nowhere. Rinse, repeat, next. It's not the passive aggressive you should worry about, (just one thing after another), a residual effect from even worse ill treatment infact. As passive aggressive just means they are passing through, leaving the real men behind, who are now nowhere to be found. Instead worry about what's coming back, catching up finally with what happened earlier - double back a portion of what women have dished out. Your gonna get fuck all and plenty of it. xx

[@Ariadne76-k3d]

Yup, I finally dumped a friend who I finally realized was a narcissist. It took me a lot of sadness and bargaining to get there.

[@michaelgrant6032]

@@Ariadne76-k3d I'm sorry I do not believe you. Typically, your all the same. Your also telling a lie because you have not expanded on anything you've said, there are no communicable details you have divulged. Your looking for a sucker, you won't find one here. Or your looking to cause big trouble.

[@johnrauner2515]

They always damage themselves. They are the ones most damaged by their actions.

[@shaunhunterit342]

I don't think anything in this video is untrue, but it very much understates the danger these people pose, to everyone and especially to those under their power. It doesn't paint a picture of someone to flee from. One of the hardest things in recovering from narcissistic abuse (more accurately torture) is to come to terms with the idea that this person was only posing as human. In reality their motivations were not human. A video like this speaking of the motivation of narcissists comes too close to playing into the narcissist's hands by making them sound like they have any kind of functioning humanity. Sad and sick as this is, the moment you see them as human is the moment you lose. Their flying monkeys believe they're human. Don't make the same mistake.

[@leerobs1118]

Hi from South Africa 🇿🇦 Darren could you please (or do you already have a video) help us with tips and tricks on how to deal with a Narcissist.

[@DarrenFMagee]

I’ve made videos on managing boundaries if you’d find those helpful?

[@naturallyspeakin]

Is there anyone that can help with coping skills when dealing with a covert narcissist? I’ve been married 31 years and it’s very difficult.

[@johnrauner2515]

Then why are you still married to them? That should answer your question.

[@petergreen96669]

I've had to cope with more than a few dangerous and/or extremely violent narcissists and I have built up even more injuries because of it.

[@darkuma1692]

I dont care how they behave, just keep them away from me.

[@pam164]

They are everywhere

[@darkuma1692]

@@pam164 I'm shutting 1 down right now.

[@irisiris6717]

Thank you.

[@C4RYB34R]

sir your insight is priceless and your accent very pleasant.

[@symbolsandsystems]

Control the Narrative Control the Believing

[@belleyboy]

I have said it before on some other videos I have watched from this fellow but where in the hell did he meet my ex wife lol Everything he says defines her to a tee. He has helped me deal with her and for that I am grateful.

[@efergusonlvn]

I love your material on boundaries but I could really use a video on protecting kids from a narcissist when you can't move out/go no contact.

[@georgiamackay7959]

So well explained.

[@AnonAnon1]

Great video!

[@MickB52s]

We all got something..if only life was so simple....great review

[@AnneLien1987]

Spot on. Absolutely spot on.

[@mayerperlstein7565]

I've listened to a good few videos about the narcissistic topic ure really good unveiling it with clarification, 2 questions I have. 1) is it possible to enlighten a narcissist of his wrongful behavior, and how people around him are being treated unfair by his sickness? And is it possible for him to understand it ? 2) what is the path for recovery from a relationship with a a narcissistic father in law who took control of your finances and pretty much everything else, but I finally broke it off and told him this is not going to work in the future, but I still have to maintain a natural state on our standard family life cuz we can't cut off entirely due to the circumstances which means he still has to stay in my life..

[@MrMark28]

Much love Darren!! Always glad to see your videos! Question, you think it’s possible to be (or have) narcissism and be a HSP? Man, I sure was late to this one, been a little hectic on this side of the fence. I hope you been well!!

[@DarrenFMagee]

That’s an interesting question thanks for asking, one I’ll answer in a video 👍

[@MrMark28]

@@DarrenFMagee oh I just screamed and fangirled so hard… Maybe another way to think of the question is, if these two things were a possibility how or what circumstances could make this possible. Love ya Darren!

[@winniebella806]

Thanks for your videos! I’m a new sub. I was stupid and dated a neighbor. Apologies after apologies with me breaking it off countless times. Five years later and he has a new girlfriend but he still causes property damage. He’s impossible. Can a narcissist last FIVE YEARS of doing this? I’d appreciate any help as this guy won’t stop. He’s broken into my home. Police have been called to fall on deaf ears. It’s to the point of me having to move as it’s constant harassment. PLEASE HELP! Thank you kindly and love to all here!🌹💫🌹

[@wakinpossum4331]

QUESTION : Is there a link between neuroticism and narcissism? Thank you!

[@DarrenFMagee]

Thank you for your question I’ll cover that in a future video

[@wakinpossum4331]

@@DarrenFMagee Thank you for sharing your insight and I enjoy your posts!

[@Julie-ii9px]

Thankyou Darren this is absolutely the best summary I have seen.