What respect really means to a man

Visit www.tomitalks.com for more great content. Connect on Facebook / tomitalksnow and Twitter / tomitoluhi . Published on 15 January 2017. Most women know that respect is really big in a man's world but what does respecting your husband really mean in practical terms? Watch this! Please subscribe and look out for another episode next week.

[@addonisryan]

I wish I found your channel before my divorce. I believe your advice would have at least helped to preserve my marriage. Thank you for your wisdom and candor, we need more women like you. Please continue to do your great work.

[@CharlotteReneeLocs]

I would just like to say. I don't know if you are a believer but this has helped me a GREAT deal. I have never been able to put what it means to respect a man in terms that I could actually understand and practically apply. I am grateful to have found this video. Thank you and God bless.

[@w3n33dam1racl3]

This convicted me and made me aware of some behaviors I need to change.

[@elwoodblues9613]

Don't control him, speak well of him. I know of VERY few women who agree with this. Most try to control their husbands, and nearly all poke fun at and insult him (and men in general). I once read that it's not that half of all marriages end in divorce. It's more like a third do, and another third have one or both miserable spouses (I think it's actually more than half). If the wife shows her husband respect and the husband shows his wife love, then the marriage just keeps gettin' better and better.

[@Jack-yq6ui]

85% of first marriages end in divorce, 95/98% of second marriages, and 99+% of third marriages. - Monogamy is nothing but a form of control used in medieval times to prevent a single man from fathering a powerful army bound by blood capable of overthrowing the ruling elite/royalty in a single generation. - There are 8.7 million species of animals, of which only mammals practice any form of monogamy at all. - There are around 5000 species of mammals. about 3/5% of mammals practice any form of monogamy at all, that is about 150 species, and none of those are close to us in evolutionary terms. - All our close relatives practice Polygynie, - A system in which the females only mate with the "alpha" male, the male otherwise the strongest while simultaneously the most social. - Monogamy is caused by highly specific naturally selective pressures and the exceptionally few species that practice it do so at great cost. - the cost is a extreme slow down of the rate of genetic mutation and thus an extreme slow down of evolutionary adaptability and a drop in genetic health. - the females in our species are supposed to flock to the strongest of us. instead now we have indoctrinated them that theres a cap for every bottle. GET UP CAMON GET DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS! CANCER? TARDISMS? PSYCHO BLABLO? WEAKNESS? TRANS BOOBLYBOGGLES? GENETIC DECAY LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!

[@Hgdsddijbbbu54d]

I just got married. This is very helpful

[@kennydawson265]

Congratulations!

[@kareemabdulfumar7953]

Status update??

[@saadmir3853]

This world needs more women like you.

[@quickfixengineeringltd8035]

Honestly I have never met a better counsellor than this woman. She really spoke my heart.

[@AllEyesOnMedia]

Ma'am you are 💯% spot on!

[@ronch550]

No matter how respectful a husband is, he's gonna turn away if he has a bratty wife. Then the bratty wife will complain that the husband no longer respects her and she'll say respect is a 2-way street.

[@nofybn7794]

Because he didn't respect her first!! She's not bratty, she is right!! She DESERVES RESPECT!!

[@ronch550]

@@nofybn7794 what if I told you that men usually start out respectful and ladies do start out bratty? Are you one of those feminists?

[@ryanphillips5591]

@@nofybn7794 for what? Respect is earned. Respect is not something you can just throw around. What do u know about respect? You come on here, getting triggered by every comment someone makes, then can't debate anything in a respectable way.

[@HearttoHeartTV]

True 😀😀😀

[@HearttoHeartTV]

@@nofybn7794 true yes

[@incognitosomeone8296]

the two first points are just one. you said he need to FEEL HIS OPINION IS REPECTED, and her not TRYING TO CONTROL him. two words are not at their place "feel" and "try" : his needs to KNOW his opinion is repected and she has to EFFECTIVELY not control him. these two achievments are accomplished focusing on one goal: LET HIM TAKE THE DECISIONS. but you can say your opinion and advise, just say afterwards "but you decide my dear" he will feel the king of the world at home and his mood will always be at his top. I am surprised this video did get so little views and lkes

[@personman481]

Is their one for the guys to understand what respect is for a woman.

[@MrThomasmorse]

If you believe in the bible then you know that the woman was made.for the man, to help him She is an extension of himself. He had two hands, now he has four. He is supposed to love her like he loves his own body. That would mean take care of her like he does himself. He was never made to serve her. She is not here to tell him what to do. She is there to assist him. That is the real meaning behind that great woman in Proverbs 31. She rocks. Super woman. He rules over her like he rules over his own body. Not abusive and he must remember that she is the weaker vessel and not demand super human strength from her. She is not a slave and he definitely isn't. He doesn't need her but life gets better for him if she is there and understands why she is there. Just some thoughts I have been sorting through. What do you think?

[@nadiyakaralash7878]

Good. Beautiful words! The only thing is that I would argue that we NEED each other. Otherwise the marriage wouldn’t have been such a great gift that it is. People need each other, women need men, men need women.

[@thomasmorse6692]

Nadiya Karalash Absolutely!!

[@kleaangeles1351]

He doesn't need her? I beg to differ. In fact women don't need men. There is absolutely nothing that women can't do.Nothing. Woman and man come together in love. Because of that they serve and honor each other and their families. No. Women were not born to serve men. How idiotic is that? Why would a woman choose a jerk who wants to be served?

[@thomasmorse6692]

@@kleaangeles1351 well, we serve each other out of love and God is therefore the greatest servant. But to say women don't need men is to say they don't need cars, roads, houses, buses, planes, trains, electricity, schools, government. All these things were created by men. Your clothes, makeup. Seriously. Guess we need each other or have we become redundant? Lol.

[@nofybn7794]

@@thomasmorse6692 Just because men invented them doesn't mean that women couldn't. Men oppressed women for most of history and couldn't!! Yes, and men couldn't have invented them without women GIVING THEM LIFE!!

[@eyesonme8677]

Ima show this to my lady

[@bagfamily4243]

EYES ON ME good luck

[@BigThapelo]

Lmao how did that go?

[@zairelarkins9424]

Amen woman, you hit this topic right on. Respect is very important to men. Especially when he's showing agape. Be bless believers in Christ.

[@Over55Life]

Major conviction about opinions.

[@oksomynameisjeff4212]

Nobody cares if we men are not foolish or foolish we deserve more respect than insults thats why this lady explains the concept of the unbearable insults to us

[@Neanderthal_yardy]

Bless your heart. You are one of the few who do understand. A gentleman reputation arrives before he gets there. Definitely, on point.

[@jeffreyscarbroughboardgame2822]

Respect means obedience and not doing anything that would make a man mad Letting the man be the leader Best way to value a man's oppeion is to do as he says Don't control men be controlled by men And why are you woman always saying husband should be doing this wile dating when he is your boyfriend Make your man #1 in your life nothing else except God above him

[@vjkilife6050]

I connected to your video so much.... Now I understood why I like few women who respect me even if they are not physically beautiful... And I hate women who are beautiful but talk rubbish about me

[@mahmudadeniyi9876]

Excellent presentation you get us right there your point !

[@che5850]

Sure.Easier said than done.

[@pratikborate2080]

we men are not fools

[@worm_and_no_man]

Wrong. I am the most foolish creature of all time and none are more foolish than me.

[@oksomynameisjeff4212]

Nobody cares if we men are not foolish or foolish we deserve more respect than insults thats why this lady explains the concept of the unbearable insults to us

[@jeffwoods4824]

Great lesson!

[@k.w.4068]

Thank you, just wish my EX would have seen this before, hope she find what she’s looking for. Good luck to her.

[@kleaangeles1351]

That same advice applied to women.

[@anthonymitchell2248]

Important word. Thank you!

[@lyndamartinez2257]

so much wisdom!

[@VesselofGod77]

I needed this! Thank youuuuu

[@NPC-hh4bw]

It really means respect. That's what it means.

[@pinksmurf10]

I’m newly married, and my own family is different to my husband and his family. We shout a lot lol but my husband is not like this, I have raised my voice a lot lately in anger and even hit him. I’m so ashamed of myself and want to change, I disrespected him big time. Please pray for me. It’s true that your childhood and upbringing stays with you into your adulthood

[@corporaterobotslave400]

2 words for you: codependency recovery.

[@pinksmurf10]

@@corporaterobotslave400 can you tell me more please

[@corporaterobotslave400]

@@pinksmurf10 do a word search using "codependency recovery" and study those videos until you're sick of them and can quote them in your sleep. After you start watching these videos this will make a lot more sense to you, about why you're acting out, etc.

[@pinksmurf10]

@@corporaterobotslave400 thank you i will look into it

[@greencoolmoss]

You need to tell him to correct you whenever you are acting out of line. How are you going to condition yourself to be better without reward and punishment?

[@hyacinthgetrich6298]

Nice piece 🙏

[@samuelt.kisaame7787]

Very wise words from a very wise woman.

[@carlosjar2734]

You are right.You understand man very well

[@kennydawson265]

Excellent!

[@yaohshalom]

tob ma'ad, VERY good advice.

[@reverendministerwillie5494]

Yes You Are Soo Right... THANK ..so much 👍🏾

[@OlivePopeyeRed]

this is useful. I guess i have not respected him. No wonder he left me.

[@w.a.k.sworld5458]

You go girl!!!

[@rodericko9534]

Nice.. appreciate sister..God bless you

[@osolovely5783]

Love your truth. This really helped me thanks

[@AR-3618]

These are all very relevant that could happen in a marriage that I personally have experienced. This should also be a formula on how to run men off. Good content, thanks.

[@pauluskenny9846]

Thank you so much.

[@pratikborate2080]

equations are weird in 2018

[@rhema3422]

Thanks mama

[@mrds-nr9tr]

Well im a libra married to an aries. We have dated for 5yrs and been married 3yrs. Going through a separation...

[@bisobokacandie3643]

Thank you so much darling

[@genesebelius4466]

Thanks 👍

[@riccccccardo]

Preach 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@socksumi]

Respect is a two way street.

[@vanessatidjani8959]

Am highly blessed ma!

[@steventipton5130]

You are so right

[@jaco7675]

A woman trying to exert control over man? This really happens? Noooooo! haha

[@w.a.k.sworld5458]

I'm WEAK LOL!!!

[@mikemccomis7146]

Your right .

[@siyabongamahaye3946]

I don't know, I feel like the kind of respect she says men want, women want it too and I believe the love that women want, men want it too. I think love=respect and respect = love, my opinion. I would not want a man who is controlling, who nags and doesn't value my opinion.

[@muhammadbah3868]

I agree with u

[@verawilliams7009]

For some men...respect means obey bfr u complain...as in if he says move...u move first bfr u inform him that your steps might cause an havoc

[@avawilliams5827]

I don’t see very many men that deserve respect these days because they don’t respect women at all. However I don’t want to bitterly accept that that’s ALL men, and when I meet men who I feel are deserving of respect I want to know how to comport myself so they don’t go running for the hills haha. Thanks for the video!

[@woochatming9917]

What do men do , that makes u feel they don’t deserve respect ? Any example ?

[@natalyaperez8857]

@@woochatming9917 I don't mean to bash men, but there are a lot of things some of them do. Sexually speaking, catcalling, harassing, obviously drugging and raping are extreme examples. otherwise, paying less, treating them as inferior, there are many others and I don't think all women are innocent btw. But there are veryyyyy few men that are easy to respect out here.

[@lovelyred30]

But how do you draw the line between being caring about something he is doing and mothering him? Like if hes eating something thats bad and you know he shouldn't do it due to health problems. Should I not mention it?

[@andries1704]

I suggest you mention it but in such a way that you express your concern about what it could do to his health. Mothering is deciding for him as if he is a child that needs taken care off because he doesn't know better. A good argument is never lost at a mens ear. Think about how he would react when you tell him about your problems. Most men would come with a solution to "fix"it while women only want them to listen to them ( sharing of emotions) You get your men his attention hen you bring up for instance the health argument or a good alternative for his "bad" behaviour you are concerned about. Concern out of love will be heard, concern by control works the opposite.

[@kamillacengiz5143]

Just let him eat that shit and be right 🙄🔥

[@thomaslloyd4856]

🔥🔥🔥

[@etinosaanthony]

❤️

[@eliocastillosrg8328]

Respect a. Man thats obidience to God woman was created to be a helper to a man she s not the head we are the head love ur woman but also dicipline her like CHRIST love the church and woman respect ur mam be obidience to a man of God

[@derekwfrazier]

😮

[@MrThomasmorse]

The psalms say that the highest heavens belong to the Lord but the earth He has given to man. God created man and gave him authority over the earth but that authority was limited. There was a tree he was not to eat from. Adam abused his authority. He went out of bounds to a place only reserved for God because he wanted to be god. He failed and because he was the head of man, we all fall with him. Jesus is God. He became a man to undo what Adam had done. As a man He came under the authority of his Father but He also exercised authority that God intended for man to have. He cast out demons, healed the sick, raised the dead and walked on water. It was all under his command. Man still has authority but this world is messed up and so is the man. Man still abuses his authority. He does not recognize his authority and neither does the world. Peter said the man was the lord of his wife and Paul said she should submit to him. Man is a ruler but the question is What kind of ruler is he? Jesus told us to not be like the rulers of the world and lord it over people. He said if you want to be great, you have to be a servant. He said " I am the Lord. I have not come to be served but to serve". So, I go to the 23 Psalm. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. A lord shepherds. He takes care of, protects, provides. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He does command but the command is good. It is a blessing. He says rest. I've got this. Trust me. There is another way that a man can go beyond his authority and play God. A place where angles fear to tread. The man can try to save himself. This is God's territory. He takes full responsibility and says "hands off". Man has created religions that say that you can do something to earn eternal life. You cannot. Life is a gift. You did nothing to earn it. You can do nothing to earn it but Jesus can and has done it for you. So, give it a rest and trust in Him. Be a lord, be a king but He is King of kings and Lord of lords. Your rule has been limited. Even a woman rules if she is single or if she is a single mother but once married she comes under the authority of her husband. So, she should choose wisely who she marries. Also, submission is like love, it has to be voluntary. No one can be forced to love but one can submit out of love. I ramble. Hope you understand what I am trying to say. God Bless!

[@kennydawson265]

Excellent!

[@memesfeast7688]

I absolutely agree with what u say Mr. Thomas, excellent facts and may the lord Jesus Christ keep you safe

[@wanjanaomi9870]

Shouldn't he show me respect as well. Men need to level up and love the 21st century woman well. All the things you have said men should p the same to women as well. Except that all this is something you do to a boss not a lover

[@greencoolmoss]

I already know youve never been satisfied in any relationship youve ever had. And if you stay stuck in this mindset you never will. Focus on fixing your own behaviour first, you cannot control others. Also your idea of love is YOURS. Men are different, speak a different language, act different, are atrracted to different things than you and men Love different to you. If you cant try understand where men are coming from then you dont even have a chance of a successful relationship

[@tangleduniverse5042]

Sounds like control ~_~

[@translator544]

Shoot this sounds hard to do for me

[@greencoolmoss]

Once you see the benefits you'll love to do it

[@jamescue9766]

How can I deal with people who slam things?

[@PeterC3400]

Leave...

[@kennydawson265]

@William Levy Spot-on!

[@Mizzjlady]

Thank you

[@Carltonway1]

My wife treats me like dog shit. She's controlling and mean.

[@nikeyaa2614]

I never take advice about men from a women lol .. we think we be knowing but we really don’t .

[@yannolove1335]

Im a man and shes giving good advices men love a women who respect them and submit if not forget ittt

[@kennydawson265]

This would be the best exception.

[@liveforever8243]

What she means is she can care less about respecting a man.

[@greencoolmoss]

On behalf of all men: youre right normally, but This is an exception

[@amosisreal3392]

😘

[@PeterC3400]

I genuinely don't mind being wrong. Happy to fix it, be better off and also make her happy. However, I DO mind being ALWAYS wrong... For some reason, modern women often embody the mock motivational poster: "The beatings will continue until morale improves."

[@johanngiesbrecht6460]

I have a beautiful wife she kooks good, she keeps our house nice, only one thing I'm missing from her, Respect, I reminding her many times, Honey I'm your Husband not your 8 year old son.

[@ladylove1335]

And I thought woman were sensitive lol

[@sallyc4922]

This was great! As I have always had a problem with my wife doing what she wants. If I may take a moment to give you an example? My wife often gets hit with the speeding cameras we have here in the Bronx .. MANY times we get a ticket in the mail with a picture of our truck caught speeding. She went down to fight the ticket and it is a place I’ve been to a d in fact have won and got out of paying the ticket. Maybe because I was raised by an NYPD cop and know what to say ?? So I give her an ecuse to use YES it was a lie but hey the tickets are a lot of money and feel if you can get out of one using a white lie USE IT!! .. I am not goi g to go into the excuse I gave her but truly believe if she would have used it we could have saved 200.00!! But instead when she got out .. she was hit for the full amount !! And informed me she did nit e en bother to use what I suggested... and took in the stand of “ MY” ticket “NY” fine “MY” problem.. niw in my eyes being married is a team thing a joint effort.. and nit having the mindset of a single woman.another example is we had a big snow storm here last week and we were coming out of a super market where I suggested she stay inside while I go get the truck and bring it to her right in front ... as I am pulling up to the front I hear her yelling “ honey honey over Here “ only to find she left the store and walked with the cart in the wrong direction where I was to get her ..... I’m at my wits end with my wife

[@kennydawson265]

Pray, pray, and more prayer for your patience and prayer for her to listen. It will work!

[@pinksmurf10]

These don’t sound like serious problems, just sounds like your wife has her own way of doing things aswell. Why don’t you explain to her in a loving way that you are her husband and just want to deal with the problems together not alone.

[@mrds-nr9tr]

I love my wife more than she will ever know. She has thing for extra attention...from other men. She thinks i have no say so or something. We both have Alpha mentalities but she's out of control. And has the right to call herself a Christian...smh i don't tend church do to the fact that thats mainly where the trouble started. Telling lies in church about the marriage. Telling lies to other people then im asked about things in my household from ppl i don't know. Respect is non existent. But she want let me leave her..........smh...women

[@TheJavacia]

I do the same thing to my man. Perhaps you were staring at other women in front of her too much so it made her feel like she wasn't enough. Now she needs the extra validation because you killed her self esteem. I'd put money on it that that's what the issue is. Your fault. Her only issue is not letting you leave. I'd let you so that you can find what you've been searching for. I'll convince her to leave if you want me to. She deserves better.

[@natalyaperez8857]

Paul said it is better for people to stay single in probably 1 Corinthians and I think that by God's design men and women are simply incompatible

[@ibrahimba6138]

great sheep

[@prestonztt]

Respect, that's just word in the dictionary, isn't it? It doesn't really apply to life issues, does it?

[@minaibrahim1252]

yes it does. Respect is one of the most important things in a relationship.

[@jeffreyscarbroughboardgame2822]

Respect means obedience and not doing anything that would make a man mad Letting the man be the leader Best way to value a man's oppeion is to do as he says Don't control men be controlled by men And why are you woman always saying husband should be doing this wile dating when he is your boyfriend Make your man #1 in your life nothing else except God above him