What Your Ex Needs To Know To Come Back

[@fiftyshadesofme]

Don't let the same person tell you twice that they don't want you.

[@allymimi8789]

I needed to hear that. Thank you.

[@fiftyshadesofme]

@@allymimi8789 welcome. stay strong.

[@lantyfrench8986]

Good point

[@jonatz793]

nailed it! thanks

[@lasvegasplease]

3 weeks ago she left for the 2nd time.

[@helios_flow]

After a period of 3 weeks of NC I lost my patience with the whole social media game. I asked if she wanted to grab a drink, she said she didn't think it was a good idea. I left her on "read" and just completely deleted her from everywhere. I had to do this to protect myself because having her on social was really detrimental to me and I had started to obsess over what she posts and her following/followers count. I feel like a weight has been lifted. REAL NC starts now.

[@idoasichoose]

now you look like a temperamental little kid this is why NC is king best of luck

[@helios_flow]

@@idoasichoose probably, but it also might make her realize this is no longer a game and I am serious about forgetting her. At least I did it to forget her, not to mess with her head. I need to have closure.

[@LucasElliot]

You did the right thing 👏

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Letters, I believe you did the right thing. Now you can move on and forget about her. 👍

[@paolanamuncura8879]

Social media is a Game. well said.

[@jdreginald262]

Nearly a year ago, my gf and I broke up. I was devestaded. After a month of pleading and at a very low point, I came accross Coach Lee's videos. They made great sense, even when the truths they brought forward were painful to hear at first. Taking a step back and focusing on rebuilding myself was the decision I made, and the results were great - I made a big step forward with my career, worked on underlying emotional issues I had and rebuilt my previously neglected social life. For the past six months, I have been in a new, happy and healthy relationship with an excepotional woman I had met thanks to these efforts, understandings and changes. For those of you who are in pain now, please KNOW that you are not alone, even if it feels that way, and perhaps most importantly - that the hard work does pay off. Much love to everyone, and thank you Coach Lee :)

[@jannlewandowski5540]

JD, GOOD FOR YOU. I'M HAPPY FOR YOU! (I'm sure Coach Lee will be happy for you also).

[@Liz-dragon-street.]

Happy for you .. One question: did your ex ever showed up in the proces? Love from Amsterdam

[@MaryGj]

I’m in so much pain . My boyfriend left without no reason . He broke my heart and I feel like I lost a huge part of myself . I loved him and respected him very much. I still love and miss him so much .

[@kokoskokso]

That is amazing, sounds like being dumped was the impulse you needed to improve in areas that enabled you to enter a healthy relationship. Feels very much the same here, but right now it's still hurting A LOT.

[@MaryGj]

@@kokoskokso it is sad to be dumped… and you feel mistreated and taking Advantage of you .. life is beautiful I hope we pass this pain and god opens a better door for us. 🙏

[@SLEEPLESSSSUN]

I am a firm believer in your work. No contact worked! Thankfully it was only a period of two weeks. I didn’t do any love spells or tried to push them back into my life. I focused on myself and we came back together we both have changed so much and realized we don’t want to live life without each other. Thank you so much for your advice. You don’t even know how much you’ve helped me.

[@RealCoachLee]

Please email us at [e-mail]. We would like to use your story to help others while also protecting your privacy of course. I'm thrilled for you!

[@aayushitakte6528]

@SLEEPLESSSSUN hey may i ask what you said to your partner before you began no contact? Because i am trying to decide if i should be nice and leave or point out that they are also in the wrong, apologise on my part and then leave

[@llegifantryy8006]

@@aayushitakte6528if the other person broke up u say ok and leave never contact again.Thats the highest chance of getting them back

[@saras.2173]

“I don’t know you…if you’re not a good person, then you don’t deserve the best.” 😂😂😂😂😂 Hahahaha THANK YOU!!!

[@Venerdi12]

NC really works. My ex came back twice after doing it. But the third time, I lost my patience and I will just move forward. Don’t fight for someone who doesn’t see your worth. Life is short to waste on ungrateful people. 😊

[@Liz-dragon-street.]

How long were the break ups?

[@iCamzie92]

Same! 3rd time he left, I know better now.

[@Venerdi12]

@@Liz-dragon-street. first one was 19 days. Second was 35 days.

[@Venerdi12]

@@iCamzie92 self love honey. I loved my ex dearly and still love him but i have to love myself too. 😊

[@iCamzie92]

@@Venerdi12 Yes thank you ☺️ I'm choosing myself now. Hope youre doing a lot better now too 🤗

[@wandayarbrough]

After 16 months of no contact I've moved on. I just wish him the best. God has blessed me with way to much. I don't need or want him back. I just hope he returns to the sweet person he used to be.

[@alexandrajokokomo9644]

Amen 🙏 totally get you! Congratulations for putting YOU first!

[@gloriahornby2457]

I don't want him to come back. It's been 6 months of no contact. It's just better this way for both of us

[@fitforfreelance]

They need to know that you're focusing on yourself and your goals. It's not your wrong to right if they've excused themselves 🤗

[@MIMIDSH]

Coach Lee is 100% right on. After a month of NC he came back. 1. I proved I was strong enough to stay away, which surprised him. When I saw him at the same event, I was happily cordial yet detached. I know he could feel my energy shift. He thought I'd be chasing after him, trying to get his attention so he could reject me (be in control). No, I was busy having fun. 2. There was clearly a shift in attractiveness. I was again the person he initially fell for- confident, sassy, detached and other men were vying for my attention (they picked up on my confident energy too). He noticed and mentioned that. 3. I'm not trying to maintain or fix anything with him. I'm moving forward and being happily elusive. If he wants to catch me, he can try.

[@MarilynFinland]

Your attitude is perfection!

[@aayushitakte6528]

Well did he?! 😂

[@MIMIDSH]

@@aayushitakte6528 I forgot I wrote this lol. He came back, but fortunately what I wrote 7 months ago changed. I didn't see him for a while after that- I was very deep into resolving bigger issues in my own life (moving, selling my house, etc.) and even though I missed him, I felt it was better not to see him for a while. The initial NC was me trying to make him miss me, rather than me healing, so a month wasn't enough for me to emotionally detach and get myself grounded. To be honest, I was way way too attached to him (which he didn't like at all) due some very tragic circumstances in my life, and I know I wasn't emotionally healthy. So I went silent and stopped going to that event where he'd be. Meanwhile, I met a man who lived around the corner from me, and we started to casually hang out as friends. A mutual friend saw me with him and told my guy I had a boyfriend (not true but ok). More time passed, and eventually we started very light communication. I'd reach about maybe once every 3-4 weeks with a silly meme, and we'd exchange a few words. Finally, just a few weeks ago, we got together for the first time. And then again last week. It was like nothing had changed as far as our connection, but I'm in a much better place emotionally. The time apart, the thought of me moving on with someone else, my lack of "chase" and attachment has given him a new perspective on being with me. So we're taking things slow this time and if we re-commit, it's going to be a deeper relationship. Thanks for asking 🙂

[@joshgeneblazo7042]

Hey Coach Lee, just wanted to say that your videos have really helped my mental fortitude these past few weeks. Three weeks ago I was dumped and your videos really helped me get through this difficult time. I kept no contact the whole time after the breakup, and last night my ex reached out to me. Now we have a better understanding of each other's feelings and how we want to move forward together in life. Even though we aren't officially back together yet, last night we both declared how much we loved each other and I just wanted to say thank you so much. Keep up the great work!

[@NMTDelightfulMusic]

Be careful if he does not show up. That means he wants you to chase him ( narcissist).

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Josh, be careful and stand your ground. Take it slow. Don't go rushing into anything regardless of how much you love each other. Remember what Coach Lee said about rushing into things. Not a good idea. Good luck to you..

[@alexandrajokokomo9644]

I love this video. I love the "One day at a time" I love the encouragement to be your very best self! I love that he presses upon you to maintain COMPLETE Self Respect! ALL extremely valuable components even if you ARE NOT hearing from them?! If you are not somehow watching absorbing or internalizing the above messages he is trying to help you and I encourage you to listen to this video one more time and LISTEN. I listen to this one often and it has really equipped me and empowered me. I love respect admire and SOOO appreciate all of his videos. They have been a life saver for me when my life was shattered and a million pieces on the floor. I truly hope you latch onto these videos/messages as a lifeline. Some key videos I actually watch over and over just to bring me strength! Every single one is chock full of Incredible Insight to your situation love caring about the absolute best for you the very BEST advice you will find PERIOD even when no one else seems to even care, or "Get you" Coach Lee gets you.

[@l.franfort6340]

I’m sure your ex is space gone by now Josh cuz you’re too weak 😂

[@joshgeneblazo7042]

@@l.franfort6340 still together 😂😂but think whatever you want 😂

[@marilynm9426]

Coach Lee is the best breakup and relationships coach ever. He always gives very insightful and realistic information. He always keeps it real unlike other breakup coaches who give false hopes and information to draw more views and subscribers. Coach Lee is great coach and man of integrity 👏

[@RealCoachLee]

Thank you for such kind words!

[@Soshi701]

He's absolutely the best. Smart, empathetic, knowledgeable and has a good heart.

[@jannlewandowski5540]

@@Soshi701 For over 5 years I listen to Coach Lee because not only did he help me years ago, but I love to hear the way he explains each situation. He is the BEST! 👍

[@rajdeepsingh7928]

Yes he is , honest man , god bless him

[@robpz448]

I was in a 14 year relationship. She left 5 months ago. I tried to reach out a few times after (not begging or crying) but , she rejected my advances to talk as civil human beings. After I stopped trying to talk to her at all , she reached out to me February 11th and 20th. I did not answer either call . Her birthday was March 5th. I did not wish her happy birthday either. I feel ignoring her calls and especially not wishing her happy birthday all the power is in my hands now. I hope she is happy with her decision in throwing away 14 years because I will likely never answer her again. Moral of the story is , yes , they usually come back. When they come back IGNORE THEM. They have to PROVE TO YOU they are worth your time. DO NOT kiss their ass especially if they were cold in the break up. RESPECT AND LOVE YOURSELF. They expect you to drop everything you're doing and answer them when they reach out. It will piss them off when you no longer care and that is their fault!

[@Tambrose0405]

You ignored her 3 times, you won't hear from her again....

[@robpz448]

@Tambrose0405 laugh out loud. Good. She ignored me multiple times as well after the break up when I tied to reach out. Wouldn't she expect the same treatment in return ? She has audacity for reaching out to me. Granted the situation sucks , she created it and now she'll have to live with it.

[@cherryt1790]

NEVER ignore them if you want them back

[@robpz448]

@cherryt1790 Tell that to her too. I don't want her back. Hell , as a matter of fact , i don't want anybody except for mysef ! This relationship left a bitter taste in my mouth . I will be alone for a while. At least I'm self improving and bettering myself.

[@cherryt1790]

@Rob P Z lol, well that's good, that you are working on self-improvement. I can definitely understand the bitter taste. I've been alone for a year now also after a 14 yr relationship. But I feel soooo much better today than I did just a few months ago. Keep going...you got this!

[@lastbull575]

My biggest regret is reaching out to my ex severally she felt like I was the one needing her like she was doing me a favor and I regretted. I regretted breaking all my no contact. I'm now happy I have gone 4months without talking to her and I'm so happy why will someone promise to always be there for you and dump and you go and begging that person to be with you it's really not worth it. And I'm glad it happened before we married. And this no contact has made me far better in many ways. No only relationship but it has increased my patience if I say I don't still love her I'm lying but I rather die than contact her again, I go out and meet new people and it's fading gradually. I'm so happy with the no contact even if she comes back if she doesn't apologize she should find someone period!!!

[@Sorenthaz]

Reached out a little after a month because I psyched myself out. She didn't reach out herself because she wasn't sure if I even wanted to talk with her. Nine days later she blocked me again because I questioned a red flag that popped up. Moral of the story: if they care (or fear losing you) enough they'll get the courage to reach out eventually.

[@johannesswillery7855]

My ex needs to know this; Thank you for doing what I would have never done. Enjoy your life because you can NEVER have this back!

[@kryptoniana9489]

It's funny How life is... I still watch coach Lee even that i don't want to see my ex anymore. It's like a teacher teaching important stuff to student. Because everything he spook actually happened After i moved on from my ex, she reached me and Said she missed me... I was over her after 4 months of nc.

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Kryptoniana, that's exactly how I feel. I met Coach Lee (on line) over 5 years ago when I was hurting badly! Not only am I over my ex, but I listen to Lee every day just to hear his advice to all these broken hearts.

[@CarlJames10]

It’s been 3 weeks since the end of my 10 year relationship. The separation was very cordial.. Haven’t contacted since then. I realized I left my laptop charger in our old apartment where she still stays, I went out and bought a new one instead trying to go pick it up.. It’s been easy tbh. I know about this NC rule so I’m just taking it easy. I moved to my parents house so I always have company and good little support system… I’ll be honest the dreams is what is the real killer. I’ll be fine throughout the day and night. It’s when I wake up im like “ouch”. Lol. We got this boys, even if we never get them back. It’s all good 😇

[@TeKNiQ50]

Nice man. Did she reach out yet?

[@iok21a]

updates?

[@ryanr6607]

Mine was 10 years as well. It’s been a rough 4 months of separation for me. I tried for 3 and a half months to fix things but three weeks ago I finally dipped off the face of the earth. Doing my best to not look back. I wasn’t the one that threw ten years down the drain, she was. Getting myself prepared to sign the papers now.

[@sashaharvey1963]

Coach Lee plz let me be 100% honest with you. I’m in love with my ex, but this time I’m choosing me. I purchased your breakup kit and I’m confident that the mistakes I did with my ex won’t happen again. Just wait until my ex’s rebound fails and he comes running back…I’ll send him BACK TO THE STREETS!!! You my Brother Lee, have obtained FAVOR from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ

[@tearthangel373]

Sorry is just words. Actions are needed to fix the mistrust

[@philipjoaquin2270]

How to fix the mistrust issue?

[@tearthangel373]

@@philipjoaquin2270 it’s not between you and me

[@BYASSINEDESIGNS]

These videos this guy is doing are great for you as an individual to helps with self control. I used to think that i want my ex back but after a few months of no contact i was 100% sure that she wasn't the right one for me, a year later i'm dating another lady and my mental health is way better.

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Made by Yass, that's exactly why NC is also for YOUR benefit. It gives you time to think. Good luck to you.

[@barbaraandersen2116]

Everyone listen to Coach Lee!! This Legend knows what he's talking about💯👍😀

[@Bloodywasher]

Yoo I WAS NEVER HERE BUT I GOT MINE BACK THANKS COACH LEE. And with your vids I also took the time to reflect well ahead and decide it is worth it. Although more often than not you guys gotta let it go, if it comes back then it's yours. I brute forced it though. Js. All is fair and idk Lee videos were like having someone on your side saying ur not a creep for wanting her back or trying to make it work but also maybe just focus on yourself. Focusing on myself helped a lot as well self improvement and non stalker like persuit.

[@rodrigonatal8412]

Now Im just learning because you helped me when I was down but I dont need my ex anymore.🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@l.k.1111]

Coach Lee is so forthcoming haha he is like, if you're not a good person you don't deserve the best. If that is not honesty to the point to make you reevaluate your character, then nothing else is. Be a good person, love yourself without vanity, be confident without the nasty ego, go no contact when you have to and work on yourself. You are not beneath anyone, like Coach said...some people will test you to see what they can get away with. Be strong! 💯

[@djohn12041986]

Damn Lee!! You are making me cry! You are giving me confidence! I am not beneath them! Only God defines my worth! I was always driving and going to his place, always thinking about him, trying to show I’m a good woman and I actually loved him. He used that. I brought it up to him and told him it felt unequal. He changed. He thought I thought I was beneath him but I was just trying to show him my love

[@suzysnewlife]

I commented on another post. I'm in the UK and my husband suddenly up and left 2 months ago, immediately filing for divorce. I had a full on mental breakdown and acted like a crazy person, doing all the wrong things etc. With professional help I no longer even want to speak to him but I'm just working on myself. I probably did ruin my chances but I'm at peace with divorce even though I didn't want it. Doing what is best for me now, I'm done with him.

[@losbanos999]

One of his best videos....I'm on Day 58 and watched this video 10+ times!! Keep watching this video and listen good.

[@losbanos999]

She broke on Day 60 and texted me!! Of course she went hard still. As the coach says... don't give it all back. Give only what your partner gives you ...nothing more.

[@drajay8671]

😮😮😮

[@dm904]

Happy for you ! Update ?

[@losbanos999]

@@dm904 She's a narcissist and avoidant. She once said... let's get married and have a baby...only to say let's forget all that was said earlier. I am back in No Contact now...and she is going crazy. She knows what I want for us....but because she's an avoidant, she will not tell me. I will risk losing her forever if she doesn't want me to live with her. I have found out through YT videos that she's a narcissist and I'm an empath. Look up those videos and see what those two types are. For now, she doesn't get to have me. I wait in radio silence for her to see the light.

[@TrentAlexanderArnold66LFC]

@@losbanos999amazing news how are you both now?

[@nicolechemla4627]

Wow... all that I am hearing from yoy Coach Lee is opposite of what I have done for almost 2 decades!! My God, how many mistakes??!! Well it's abt time I wake up... yesss! I am willing to show strength, dignity.. he should see someone as strong as he is.. that I can walk away.. that I am not beneath him.. rhat I have my own value... He broke up with me 3 times in the past and I deserve better. I didn't know howvto behave. Thanks to you I know now what I should and shouldn't do!! I can always reach out.. but I will only do it when I am stronger.. not weak. When I respect myself likexI should have a long.. long time ago.. Bless you coach Lee!!

[@xcoachkim]

I know what you mean. It's pretty crazy that our instinct to chase and pursue is the action that leads to the worst outcome. Been there-I know how confusing it can be. Just wanted to give you the heads up about Coach Lee’s live workshop called "Relationship Reignite." Seriously, it's a game-changer! This workshop is all about rescuing your relationship and then keeping your relationship strong after the breakup or separation. Oh, and get this: you'll also have a coaching call every month for 6 whole months! So you won’t be going at it alone or anything. To find out more, hit up Coach Lee's team. You can schedule an appointment to discuss all the details at myexbackcoach.com/relationship-reignite. If you do, it will blow your mind and give you the support you need!

[@kenf.2413]

Guys, please stay common-law, and sign a common law contract with your partner!! Protect your money,

[@MGBarbell]

I am only a few days into no contact after a year long relationship. The problem that she stated with our relationship is that I didn’t take her out on dates enough. She ended it then I came back and asked her if we could go out on a date. She told me no and that it wouldn’t be the best idea. She is a social media influencer and a professional powerlifter so there is no shortage of guys who are hitting her up. We also have a small group of friends that we all hang out with and all of them have decided to leave me and go with her. I’m trying my best to not let it look like I phases me, but I’m dying inside. To make matters worse I’m pretty sure she is starting to see one of our mutual friends from that friend group. I find myself brought to tears all the time, but I’m going to keep my resolve. Thank you coach Lee for making this a little bit easier!

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Powe_Geek, I wish I could give a response that could help but I think you need something more professional and specific that allows enough time for all your specific details to be addressed. For that, I suggest a coaching session with Coach Lee or one of his staff coaches. You can book that with this link: myexbackcoach.com/book-with-coach-lee/

[@nicolechemla4627]

I am not going to degrade myself.. I have done enougb to save our relationship but now it's me I have to save.. I will take your advice dear coach because it speaks to me like no other words have ever before... He left me 2 months ago and regretfully I have done so many mistakes but hearing you today have made me realize that it is me I must save.. before I crash.. it's been so hard for too long.. thank you so much..

[@RealCoachLee]

You’re welcome.

[@kokoskokso]

@@RealCoachLee Exactly, I feel it's unfair that the dumped sort of have to do a huge amount of work just to please the dumper so they get back together. I know it's not like that but that initial power dynamic + the decisionmaking being solely in their hands leaves me resentful and unsure whether I even want to get back with somebody who didn't treat me as a priority. I'd appreciate if you had any videos on that subject.

[@tearthangel373]

Without Self love you cannot love anyone else

[@xtants10]

Stay strong and positive to everyone going through this. There is more to discover than your ex.

[@maryalbania897]

It’s been 5 months 😢 I still cry till this very day

[@antonywinter9385]

Your not alone 30yr relationship 3months nc,its hard but we need faith

[@maryalbania897]

It’s been a year… nothing still

[@Goku19170]

​@@maryalbania897 are u in no contact buddy ? Can u explain ehy he/she left u

[@themetalave]

This is one of the most important videos Pay attention and be strong 🎉

[@user-jb7ep2vu2r]

We broke up almost 3 ms now . I finally did something different than before. It has been so hard. However, i feel like i have overcome the most difficult stage. Nowbits his turn to start the "tough" phase. Meanwhile, somedays i have cried myb❤️ out.. others i have focused on personal growth and enrolled into financial gains courses. 🙏 It feels good.

[@anthonymancini5958]

My ex broke up with me and I didn’t talk to her for close to 45 days. She blocked me. One night after a little too much alcohol, I texted her and she Amazingly responded. She had unblocked me. We had a short conversation, but I then professed my unrequited love and she said she didn’t feel the same way. I then got personal and she reblocked me. I left her a voicemail to apologize the next day. I didn’t think she’d get it because I was blocked. I then emailed her an apology for being a drunken mess and I wished her well. She responded saying she received my voicemail also and thanked me for the apology. She wished me the best but said please don’t contact me anymore. That was like a knife to the heart. I am respecting her wishes and focusing on me now. The worst part is I feel like I really messed up and my communication skills suck and I just get angry and don’t convey it properly. That’s something else I am working on. I have to regain my dignity and self respect

[@orlandomedina3429]

This is coaches Lee’s most powerful KZbin message listen to this one really listen to this one.

[@11Angel33]

I see a lot of comments asking why NC only seems to work for women. Look. A lotta men arent gonna like this. But. Perhaps because it is usually the man who messed up and needs to reach out in a reasonable amount of time to apologise/fix things, but he instead turns to NC and never takes accountability, and never accepts that HES actually the one on the receiving end of NC. It is a rare case that a woman should be the pursuer to begin with - if she was the one in the wrong, if the relationship/communication/trust broke down because of HER, then yes. Okay. Fair is fair. But if she simply ended it but you were to blame and wouldn’t make things right, or you ended it because you thought you could get her to submit and ‘stop complaining’, it is on you. Silence wont make her come back, and when enough time passes without a man doing what he ought to, she moves on. He will decide that ‘NC doesn’t work’. Women who go NC are more typically waiting for the dude to do what he ought to. So it often works. Men are trying to get women to do something they probably shouldn’t. So it often doesn’t. AGAIN this isnt always the case. Sometimes women screw up too and refuse to apologize or take accountability and that leads to a separation. But it’s simply not as common. I would suggest to any man who thinks HE is the one going NC right now and still wants it to work … are you SURE you are the one that shouldn’t be reaching out? Positively, absolutely sure? Because if you are, and you dont, and a lot of time has passed and she hasnt ‘bent to your will’, you can pretty much guarantee it is over. No contact works when the person you are cutting off contact with was actually in the wrong and lost you, because of it. If you were at fault for the break down, even if you didn’t initiate the break up, its not YOU going NC. It’s them, and you’re just too self absorbed to see it and are unknowingly giving them the time and space to move on, and they should. This CAN go for women too. So it’s always something you ought to consider. No matter how deep in denial you may be, you know deep down when the ball should be in your court, not theirs. And that will almost always determine whether or not YOUR NC works Effective NC isn’t about manipulation. It’s about setting boundaries.

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Lorica, NC works for both, men & women. NC gives you both time to think about what you really want, and it's not one sided. As you know, if you are the dumper, YOU must contact the person you dumped, but you must be sure of exactly what you want. I hope this clarifies things for you. One final word. It is not about manipulation. It is about feelings, for each of you.

[@Staystrongbrotherx]

I agree with you to a point because this has been on my mind. I got angry, walked out, came back after cooling down and she broke off. However, I will say this, and I welcome you response: after she broke off, the next day I clearly acknowledged I messed up, i was aware of it and I apologised. I also said I didn’t agree with the breakup and we should work together. Regardless of what I said at that point, she refused to back track - even when I did acknowledge and apologise for letting my emotions boil over. Two weeks into NC, I was thinking about your very point constantly: was it actually me that caused this and she reacted with a break up, rather than something she had been planning etc. So I reached out with a short but respectful message once things had cooled down a bit. I said sorry for my actions, I don’t have any anger towards the situation and I respect your decision. She replied respectfully and let me know she was hurting and needed to “work on herself”. So in my situation, as the dumpee, I feel i did actually contribute to the reactionary breakup from her part. Maybe she felt like I had dumped her. But ultimately, she ended it despite me clearly disagreeing with it and being willing to work on it together - she still broke it off. So therefore, I am now in NC (phase 2) since I sent the clean slate message letting her know I take accountability for my contribution to the break up.

[@janfarman7629]

I really do not know what I'd do without your encouragement. Thank you coach 😢

[@tinac6114]

Boy did I need this video today! After 8 months NC my ex came back. It really was a case of he blocked me & forgot so he thought in the past 8 months I wasn't speaking or reaching out to him, which I had several times. So he reaches out via FB & I was slow to respond but I finally did. He said he was so thankful to be back in my life that he had missed me so much! I told him we could work things out but it would require communicating as in if there were issues we needed to talk to each other about them for which he agreed. 3 weeks back in & one evening I was texting him & he just wasn't replying. I got really upset but waited til the next day to call him & see what had happened? He didn't say anything. I was supposed to go to his house that day. I decided...No...if he isn't going to do the one thing I ask then I wasn't going to see him. He hasn't communicated since I told him no & I so want to reach out but I know I have to stay strong & keep my boundaries. 3 times now I've tried with this man & every break up has been because of poor communication.

[@575leena]

Totally feel you. I did NC and he came back and only last 1.5 weeks and blocked me again. I feel humiliated all over again. I have tried so many times with this man. They just don’t learn their lessons.

[@NMTDelightfulMusic]

He is playing with you. If he really wanted to be with you he would. He wants ego bust of you chasing him and being on the shelf. Move on. He is probably a narcissist.

[@mb4308]

Thank you, i have veey low self esteem and your video made me realise that at least im worth it , i deserve someone who at least wants to be with me ,

[@Kingdonomics]

I reached out too soon and immediately regretted it. Now, I send myself the text message first. Then i decide if i want to send it. 99/100 that message remains in my own inbox and i live a life i never regret.

[@applecandyfolks7979]

You either want the person or you don't..nobody GAF about what you think of them,say it and keep it moving or be open to work things out. People play too much games and I'm starting to understand why so many people commit murder. No one deserves to go through life hopping from one relationship to another because their partner keep sending mix signals, go ghosting with no explanation,ending it with no explanation and don't believe in forgiveness. Its stupid, it's manipulative, it's narcissistic and a sign you enjoy hurting people so when your head get chopped off, there should be some leniency when caught. Humans are way too evil thinking pain and suffering are game in people's life.

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Applecandy folks. She sounds like a narcissist. STAY AWAY FROM HER,! I was with one for 5 years and I finally left him. THEY ARE MONSTERS!

[@ApostleThe344]

3 months she isn't coming back. She's moved on. I've moved on. Way hotter and better quality women out there. It was a rough 3 months but I got my dream career started dating a lot of other women. I have value her value is what I gave to her. Never again

[@os3688]

Almost 2 years since our breakup… shes been with someone else for awhile now. Although i haven’t checked in months. For some reason tonight i am hurting. I miss her and sometimes hope to hear from her again. Tomorrow morning i’ll be like wtf was that about? Life goes on I guess…

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Os3, HI, I've been there, and I'm sorry you're going thru that. It gets better in TIME. My relationship was 5 yrs. You'll be fine. Hugs..⚘️⚘️

[@Cira_Reyonnoc]

"In not saying you deserve the best. I don't know you and if your not a good person, then you don't deserve the best!" I fuckin love it bro. Your realness is why I trust your word so much and why i don't worry about anything being sugar-coated.

[@anthonyromagno2297]

I am not worried there are too many factors against for her to come back. Then I there is only a 15% that I want her to come back. These videos still help with me moving forward!

[@coldbloodedreptile8199]

You are awesome coach Lee, my ex called me baby and sent kisses after 8 days no contact. When I responded, she replied very coldy. Thus, I didn't respond to her cold response and put her back in no contact. She used the sweet texts as bait and I stood my ground by not responding to colc text coach Lee, thanks to your advice.

[@Trueblue03]

I just started talking to my ex after not talking to her for a while gone out and she initiated all the moves grabbing kissing me … so I’m hoping it goes well this time n works 🤷🏾‍♂️🤞🏾

[@professor0reo700]

That's great news. I hope I have as much luck with my ex. We broke up 2 weeks ago and I'm 1 week into No Contact. She's such a sweetheart and a very caring person, so she deserves the best. I just don't want another guy hurting her like her ex before me. He cheated on her multiple times and I promised her I would treat her like the princess she is.

[@Trueblue03]

@@professor0reo700 I messed it up 😔 went out in a group I drank more than I should and not sure what I told her or got into my feelings 🤦🏽‍♂️ wish you all good luck with your relationship mines done for.

[@professor0reo700]

@@Trueblue03 Try no contact again and see if it does any better. There's always hope to grab onto. I know there's a good chance that I can win my ex back if I improve myself enough. I've done so much for her, I have a feeling that she'll definitely reach out in the future. I love her so much.

[@heartpaid6767]

My brother in christ Lee coming with more support and insight for those who are heartbroken

[@evo-mckostis4]

Coach lee is right ,i was no contact 2 weeks and she texted me. I thought she wanted to be back together so i answered her and start texting with her again ...next day she became cold..and i realized she went cold because she felt i was there again for her, so all progress deetroyed .Now im in new no contact

[@Sparksflymich]

2 months of NC!!! I DON’T EVEN WANT HIM BACK AT THIS POINT HAHAHA

[@magdadrague]

Congrats!

[@videowilliams]

I like this one! Good, clear and emphatic. And correct whether they circle back or not. I find myself plugging into its forceful masculine logic every day in order to keep my spirit strong.

[@adarkbeauty7903]

Thanks for these videos Coach Lee! They're keeping me strong. God bless you.

[@Sophi_stikat3d]

After sometime of no contact she came back saying that she loves and wants to get back together (writing a long text). I responded calm and respectfully - “I appreciate that but I’m good and I hope you’re okey” - she hasn’t tried contacting about the relationship ever since (4day & on going). I didn’t want to jump the gun and say “yes! Let’s get back together” I hope I responded correctly.

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Truly, yes, you did respond correctly. Don't sound like you're anxious or desperate to get back with her. Keep doing what you're doing.

[@Sophi_stikat3d]

@@jannlewandowski5540 wouldn’t you understand my response to her long apology letter as a way of me rejecting her offer to get back with me or what……?

[@minyoongichonjaejjangjjang5507]

No you should have not said I'm good that's basically rejecting her. Coach lee said you should not reject them if they comeback. You should have said something like, "yeah i'd like to try again but in a slow pace" or you could say, " i'll consider". Do not straight up reject them.

[@Sophi_stikat3d]

@@minyoongichonjaejjangjjang5507 that was my intention because I initially thought she asked how I was doing so in response I said “im good” - as for that im leave it at that, I believe she’ll be back soon and even then I’ll tell her “not now, maybe in the near future”

[@justinrosenberg2150]

If you DO want to get back together, then that was the wrong thing to say!

[@tylerjohnson3195]

I think a man comes back far far more often than a woman comes back to a man. It's easier for a woman to move on and find a new partner than for a man. Most of the success stories I see (commented) are a woman saying how it worked, but a man is on 7, 9, 14, 36 months of no contact.

[@terezavalencia2908]

As a woman in NC I have no desire to find the next person lol AT ALL!

[@aimorgana]

Think it really depends on the person. Woman here, 8 months in NC. 😂 At this point I just gave up, became focused on my healing.

[@roza9684]

Women never come back because they never leave the one they love

[@CraigLeeder]

My ex had left 5 people been married twice and as much as I want her back it don’t look like she will she never went back with the others

[@Pickles1497]

I have not begged or pleaded.

[@WINNERGAMING9798]

She came back in 11 days She told : can we talk again? And then she also used the magic word "please". She never told me please, but nc made it possible. I m truly greatful for all ur nc videos. I wish I knew it 2 years earlier as there was a girl who played so bad with my feelings. But that's past now. Feeling great to take over the relationship lead in future.

[@kennythao9558]

I sent her a paragraph about how I felt and she unfriended me on everything. She also told me she’s with someone new.

[@DuaneCarltonMerrittmusic]

Beard looks great on you, thanks for another great video !

[@rajwinderkaur7786]

Mr. Lee clear this point ,he is between two lady and little girl.I have no mind.But I want to know about this,

[@cindyLalaDiaries]

Just want to say a big thank you for your videos you have gotten me through a rough couple of weeks, i broke no contact a few times but now im 2 weeks of real no contact my heart still aches sometimes but youve motivated me to be strong

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Cindy Nyala , I highly recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit which is excellent and it will help you. Also the kit is popular. myexbackcoach.com/ebk

[@josh9331]

1 year of NC aaaand she's not comming back 😅 for some reason I feel that I miss her in some way, some times is hard to get her out of my mind. I guess she's happy with the person that replaced me, she's never loved me and don't missed me.

[@laurencel.7980]

relationships suck.... I have been recently crushed when my girl left me after a year to want to date others, and already doing so. Stupid me wants her back... I am so in love with her, I am heartbroken

[@jannlewandowski5540]

LAURENCE, whatever you do, DON'T TAKE HER BACK! Stay in NC. It's obvious that she doesn't love you, and I feel bad for you. Go out with your friends, pick up a hobby, but don't contact her at all. She's not worth it, especially of she's dating other guys.

[@housearrest4443]

A week into NC after 5 months of limited contact. Me and my wife separated and she told me she loves me but not in love. She also doesn’t want a divorce when I asked her. I really don’t know if NC will work because I feel like she made her decision to split a long time ago. Hurts so bad.

[@ennisdabeast]

Hey, how are u doin?

[@Ryuhayabusa.7]

I recently (as of 2 days ago) let my ex back into my life after she repeatedly broke NC by texting me, calling me, etc over 30 times in one day on like Day 3 of NC. I told her she needed to earn this back and do whatever she feels necessary to show me she cares for me and to show me how much she wants this. As of a few minutes ago she complained and said it feels weird not having me talk to her like I normally would, and that it felt off by the casual responses I give her, I’m doing my best to not give her too much, because I do want her to work for it. Any advice? I know I’m not supposed to just jump back out and start being lovey. But it does feel kinda rough by holding myself back a lot.

[@dochudson7284]

As someone who is going through the exact same thing. Do not forget how you felt when you first broke up. Ask yourself if they have changed and if so is still worth it? You have to make it clear that you will not get walked on.

[@rajwinderkaur7786]

When I was seventeen, some women were putting ring in his mind,that his parents are very strict they will not meet you.they were telling a lie, in this way they were doing far away from me.they became close to him.

[@powerhousemethod]

Emergency brak up kit is amazing!

[@joanmu1053]

Thank you Coach Lee ❤ I walk away with dignity

[@StE_sufc_1889]

It's just been a year now. Nothing you said worked in anyway at all.. It just got harder and harder for me. I still don't know what happened or why we split up. I'm completely lost and confused on our life.

[@josh9331]

Same, 1y of NC 😔

[@StE_sufc_1889]

@@dongy762Im still struggling with the loss... I feel like I don't want tomorrow to come. Living with out her by my side is killing me. I still don't know why she gave up on me and believed she did love me... I'm so confused why she left. If I believe everything she said for 15 years over what she says after she quit on me then she must have been lieing one way or another. The thing is I don't know which is real and lies anymore. I thought we was best friends and lovers.. The best kind of relationship you can get. To me she was perfect, I even loved her faults and still loved her regardless as a whole. I miss her every second. 😔😔😔 I feel like i will never love anyone like I loved her... And if I can't then what's the point. I don't want to love any less than I did her. I only ever wanted to love her. She walk away from someone who loved her forever and I would pick her every time. Good luck on finding that again.

[@Halifax839]

@@StE_sufc_1889 Women just don't up and leave for no reason, stop playing the victim. If you look back on your relationship I can bet it was warning signs. Best of luck in your next relationship

[@StE_sufc_1889]

@@Halifax839 Well, Nobody is playing victim here.... I came to coach Lees videos on hopes for help and to just tell people my situation. It did not help with any of coach lees advice in my case, so just giving my experience with his information and to the people that are hurting such as myself. You say women don't just up an leave, Well they do obviously. It's a high percentage of women that want divorces\break ups and are leaving and wanting to separate. Are you going to say people don't cheat with out good reason next? A person must have done something to deserve it? I guess you would say look back at what you did to make some one cheat on you next? Again, they do. Point is you don't know me and my life so don't go out of your way to say someone is playing a victim when you have no idea about my life. Thank you for wishing me well in my future relationship its very much appreciated.

[@noarainc5344]

I want you to know that your experience is as valid as those whom had their exes coming back. In fact, you probably fought harder for your relationship than anyone else you know. You did everything in your power to make her happy and you endured pain and sadness for sake of better days to come. You did all that you could under the circumstances that were, yet, she still felt like it was time to move on. Coach Lee talks a lot about attraction and the fact that in a relationship when attraction fades, reasons for wanting the breakup expands and one start to take the partner for granted in many ways. This is where self worth comes in and an opportunity to detach oneself from their decision. It’s a long process and one of the goal is to eventually stop seeing yourself through the perspective of their decision and their breakup. You never wanted this. You did everything you could. Guess what… she knew that. She knew even that you would take her back as soon as she reached out. She knew where she had you. She never suffered the consequences of the breakup because she got to eat the cake but keep it too.. the breakup kept being valid and true but with the understanding on her end that the moment she comes back you will take her back. This is an understanding you need to reflect on.. why would she leave someone who loved her, respect her and never hurt her? Most likely, very much so, that she took you for granted. I am sorry to say this and for causing more pain. But I speak from experience. My ex broke up with me 3 times. On the night of a special day for me he reached out and told me that he just needed to gather himself and wanted us to eventually meet up but all on his premises. I fell for that but soon my instincts took over, my self worth started to cry, because I never hurt this soul, not even for a bit. I was even told by him that he had never experienced the love I had given him. But it still came down to him just today telling me that he couldn’t go through with this. So he once again broke up with me even though calling it a breakup doesn’t fully define the mess he put me through… I am an extreme empath and I sense that you are too… it’s not easy, I even blamed myself for things I hadn’t done.. I couldn’t understand why he had done this to me either.. why so much pain over and over again? Let’s go through this together and let’s just handed over to the universe and trust that god will help us through this pain. You will do this. Step by step. Minute by minute if so. You didn’t do anything wrong. She just took you for granted most likely and I am not just saying this. But as a girl, having a guy who has loved me unconditionally and then throwing that away, is something a girl will regret for years to come. That girl just needs to feel the loss like Lee talks about. Let her now be and let her live in accordance with her decisions. That doesn’t define you. Her choice of breaking you both doesn’t define you. She broke what was most holy to you. Let her have it that way. Trust the process even of its slow today.

[@575leena]

Could you do more videos about how NC psychology works if you have been blocked? Like they have blocked you so how do you do NC on them if they sorta have the upper hand by blocking you? Also could you do more videos on how to regain confidence as a dumpee and to put ourselves out there again? And how to deal with separation anxiety? I want to move forward but I am feeling so scared and anxious as many dumpees do.

[@fiftyshadesofme]

They gifted you no contact since you are blocked everywhere. There's not much you can do right. They are trying to move on from you w/out social media reminding them of you. It's not that they hate you or anything like that, probably. There is no "upper hand". Give them what they are wanting and thats break up and not to talk to you. If I came to you and spit in your face and left, would you still try to talk to me, would you still feel scared and anxious? Fck no you wouldnt. Thats what they are doing when they leave like this and do these things. Take some time for yourself, improve on some things, let some time pass by. Never go shopping when you are hungry, you might grab the wrong thing. You'll feel when you are ready again. If you have to ask ...it means you are not. Good luck.

[@gloriatucker9796]

Im not sure if i want him back. It freaks me out that he was planning this while i was totally emotionally naked in front of him. How skilled!😮

[@susanmcmahon4733]

Don't want him bk

[@monicawylie3985]

Sometimes it’s best to go no contact just so that you can figure out whether or not that they were good enough for you. I did not realize after no contact with my last boyfriend was I going to see that he was toxic. Because he sure is, and Wass. I did not deserve the treatment he gave me. I am with the love of my life now.

[@politicalpulse45]

It also helps you figure out whether they really cared about you or not.

[@AxleGunnactorandvoartist]

fantastic advice mate. absolutely 💯 dead right on the money. really appreciate ur videos 👍

[@cuteworldaa2018]

He wanted me to reach out him fisrt by sending me a signal on the social media without a real text. IBut I wanted a relationship not a worshipper. Telling myself when I weak that I wanted to stay with the guy that wanted to stay with me either. Thanks coach lee.

[@michaelmorgan6012]

Everyday I think about breaking no contact, I stop myself, 41 days now!

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Michael, keep it going. A little more time....

[@michaelmorgan6012]

@@jannlewandowski5540 that's the problem I think with everyone doing no contact, when and even if they come back, you just don't know!

[@jannlewandowski5540]

​@michael morgan Give it 4 more days. Give yourself time to think of YOU! THINK OF WHAT YOU WANT TOO.

[@michaelmorgan6012]

@@jannlewandowski5540 I'd love her back in my life, but has it was such a short relationship 6 weeks I don't know if it'll happen, not sure breaking no contact is best option, it's her birthday Saturday and I want to wish her happy birthday but I know I shouldn't do it

[@jannlewandowski5540]

​@michael morgan When you call her in a few days, see how it goes. She may be missing you too..

[@bogolol7520]

coach lee is the best.. legit

[@Katy.98]

Hey Coach, what should I do when I was the toxic one in the relationship? Will he miss me anyways when I commit to No Contact? I am aware of what I have done wrong and am eager to change for the better and I am sure I will achieve it.

[@RealCoachLee]

You pretty much have to start with no contact - especially if you have already apologized and promised change. I’m not doing individual coaching at the moment but the lead coach on my staff DOES. He is Coach Ken and you can book a call with him at myexbackcoach.com/coach-ken. He is OUTSTANDING at helping people get an ex back. He and I got our coaching certifications together about 18 years ago and he works directly for me. I suggest you copy and paste what you said here when you book your call.

[@Katy.98]

@@RealCoachLee Thank you very much!

[@michaelmalin8318]

Here’s the thing, if they feel like they are above you because you pursue them, and they use that power to treat you like shit, it says something about their character.

[@trillmix0652]

Added this one to my Favorites list!

[@kellyfoster4763]

Coach Lee, you’re the best. Your wise counsel is needed so much. Thank you ❤️

[@agneskorondi5551]

Even if they come back,long ,long way,and patience the healing.

[@cvalencia9847]

Thank you coach Lee you are empowering women

[@nourake341]

Thank you so much everything you say Coach lee makes so much sense 😊

[@lilliankillian7366]

Ty coach Lee .without you i would have given in already for doing n c . Ty your so helpfull its been one month and still doing n c .it hurts .wecwere togeather for overc3 years.ty

[@irajessicalagua2460]

I am doing NC. My ex reached out a day after the break up. Asked me how I was doing. Said I am fine and asked her the same. Told me she misses me and I take care. Told her thank you and take care too. After a day, I was left on READ and she deleted the I miss you message. After that, silence for 3 days and counting. I saw her watching my stories though. Did I blow it when I didn't say I miss you too? Thoughts? reason for break up: we both love and care for each other. the reason for our break us is her parents being against us and she is hurt and exhausted as they torment her over and over again. said they'll never approve us no matter what she says to them. We are in a gay rship.

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Ira Jessica, I'm sorry her parents feel that way. When you both love each other, it's hard to be apart. All I can say is to try to talk to your/her parents and the heartbreak it's causing you. Try to sit them down and have a meeting with them. If your love is genuinely true, tell your parents they will be destroying you in the long term. LOVE IS LOVE, and you two belong together. Best of luck.🌈❤⚘️

[@irajessicalagua2460]

@@jannlewandowski5540 she did already. before the break up she told me she and her parents are going to talk. haven't heard from her yet. i kept offering her before to let me help her, let me figure this out with her. i am willing to meet and talk to any family. my intentions are clean and pure. i know they have talked and i haven't heard from her yet/anymore. wouldn't be surprised if they scared her so that may just solidify her decision to end us. i know she might contact me for my stuff. she told me that already during the break up after I return from my work trip. returning my stuff feels like there is no hope for us but I have to just let that be. I think about what Coach said the the reason for break up is a factor too. I just think this is the rare case where the reason may not outweigh the love. I am still doing NC and I don't know if I should apply it here. thank you so much for answering and giving your opinion about my situation. you are the only one who responded and it gives me encouragement as i read them again and again. it feels nice to be heard. thank you. 🙏

[@ThePunis-Her]

I love coach lee! Got my ex back.. but remember boys and girls… it. Wil. Never. Be. The. Same. As the first time (before break up) (for the dumpee, the dumper will have a different start).

[@danielozga8436]

Lee u are our precious. U need to be protected by all cost. And we still need more videos! :P

[@josephfoster6313]

Coach Lee, I surpassed ten months of strict no contact. I've made huge improvements on myself physically and emotionally. Should I go ahead and break no contact or continue on?

[@RealCoachLee]

You don’t have much to lose so if you wanted to casually reach out, I talk about that some in the Emergency Breakup Kit and some videos.

[@ashleyy8724]

What if you told him " I am feeling the distance. I know you don't want to hurt me but I am a big girl and I can handle the truth, you don't want to do this anymore?" He responded with "Something changed after the weekend." "And I said ok, so I won't text you anymore?" And he said ok. then it ended like that. I did not mention trying to fix things or apologizing for being needy and being cranky on the weekend. He owed me money so I only contacted him for that, but once I received the money I have not contacted him and will not. Because I did not express my willingness to repair and apologize, will this throw things off?

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Ashley, YOU DID GREAT! You received your money, not begging, and keeping away! Good for you. Keep doing what you're doing! No Contact. Let him go! You can do MUCH better!⚘️

[@lisacadogan]

Thing about getting over your ex is you'd rather stick pins in your eyes than take them back!

[@rietta1166]

Always appreciate your advice.🙏 Sending u ❤ from Papua New Guinea 🇵🇬

[@ItalianWiseguy55]

NC would only work if they have feelings for you. How on earth would NC affect one who doesn’t have feelings for you anymore or the relationship. You being out of the picture is a exactly what they want. You go NC and you’ll become a distant memory,

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Italian Wiseguy, no contact works when 2 people need a break from each other for BOTH of them. Sometimes when a person may not care for the other one, how do you know that the one who does not care may START caring? You don't know till you're away from them.

[@Contact_Info]

In that case you moved in for the better, if she reaches out you make a date to talk. Don't keep ignoring her then. Otherwise feelings will fade

[@terrodar19]

Went through a friendly divorce 2 months ago. she emotionally moved on like a couple of years back i’d say and we planned the divorce a year ago. We share 3 kids that i see almost every day so the no contact rule is quite difficult…. i came off so butt hurt after i moved out because she started talking to some loser (not an upgrade) so now im learning to move on and try to regain her attraction towards me (this might take a long time) but i cant make that my goal, i have to move on

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Antonio, I would move on also. No great expectations, remember that. Best wishes to you.

[@kerrymillar1267]

She doesn’t sound like she deserves you to be honest. Unless you’re going back for your children.

[@muffemod]

They need to know they can't.

[@preena8268]

he is not coming back. truth hurts

[@Camcam75]

Update?

[@Camcam75]

@@preena8268 i’m so sorry

[@preena8268]

@@Camcam75 its okay... life they say is cruel

[@preciousnweze5790]

Did he come back?

[@Pickles1497]

Looking for a realtor to sell and was met with resistance from him. He still has stuff here. I'm confused. I am ready to move on.need to get my life back. I'm tired

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Pickles, contact him and tell him you need him to pick up his things. Be casual. Hope all goes well for you.