When a Computer Marries Shane

[@anotherperson565]

This feels like a nature documentary

[@comradesdoggo]

that's my childhood. i always watch that on tv

[@lewis9s]

“And here the wild underscore approaches the target, performing it’s mating dance to attract the Shane.” … “It would seem to have worked successfully, and now the underscore has finished it’s mating dance, it now immediately collapses onto the ground infront of the Shane.”

[@entropete_]

@Paul do you know what his accent is? I love it and idk what it is lol

[@nate6511]

@@entropete_ It's a New Zealand accent!

[@HansLemurson]

Observe the TAS in its native environment. Here you can see its lightning reflexes on display, and now, look: it's doing its special step-counting dance.

[@ChanceTheCheetah]

Shane falls in love with and marries a deranged weather-controlling eldritch demigod that only skulks about in the early morning, and runs out of energy to manifest it's form and proceeds to collapse back into the earth after throwing gifts into his face.

[@nessie6899]

Romantic if you think about it

[@BlueSodaPop_]

The eldritch demigod does give him gifts, so that's a win?

[@PhantomJavelin]

The deranged weather demigod who keeps barricading him inside of his own house every day and violently swings a pickaxe in front of his face every time they talk, btw

[@Superbug-tf8zy]

Eldritch Demigod using all his energy to give you gifts?

[@oreagamerkat9228]

well, if that’s what he’s into…

[@pageturner2958]

Imagine someone moves into town, places a chair in front of your door, throws you a gift and an item you posted on the community billboard about wanting, does a rain dance, then swings their pick axe at lightning speed until they pass out almost every day before 9 am. Then you then marry them

[@elenna1237]

Wdym that is clearly the most romantic story ever :D

[@paulzu2778]

Within a month

[@paulzu2778]

@@elenna1237 -average wattpad reader

[@2shy2guy52]

#couplegoals

[@castia8421]

Still a better love story than twilight

[@bogbert7019]

I love how Shane opens his door a fraction of an inch and just gets absolutely SMACKED with a pizza every couple mornings

[@Mylenapony]

Lol

[@callmeobsequious]

GET _PIE'D_

[@jamescanjuggle]

then thinks to himself "damn, i might be falling for Underscore...." 🤣

[@lewis9s]

“You again? How many times do I have to tell you to leave me alone” _14 minutes later…_ *“Yeah let’s get married”*

[@CommanderWiggins]

I love how TAS's of this game have the player navigating menus in milliseconds and using tools at hypersonic speeds, yet they still have to walk at a relaxed jaunt.

[@vacuousloki1648]

Not even milliseconds, in 1 frame

[@cavemann_]

@@vacuousloki1648 That's..... in milliseconds then???

[@vacuousloki1648]

@@cavemann_ oh yeah…

[@ijneb1248]

@@vacuousloki1648 16 miliseconds

[@olliefischer]

aka the only Shane marriage% speedrun that doesn't enable Shane's problem drinking 😅

[@mogfoil]

Tbh it’s probably only because Gus opens so late.

[@pookiepieryo]

@@mogfoil imagine marnie is like: “farmer, how did you gain shanes friendship so fast without enabling his drinking problem? it’s so kind and thoughtfu-“ farmer: “it opens too late. food come fast. food easy. beer expensive. food cheap. easy for me.”

[@olehart5850]

11:29 I would love to see Shanes's Contract: "Okay, so you get your birthday off, except if it's raining, then you have to work."

[@bravelittleroomba]

Underscore proposes and passes out. Meanwhile Shane stands there unable to figure out how to walk around the potted plant. Match made in heaven.

[@anllidotcom]

20:20 “Underscore proposes and passes out” POOR SHANE 😂😂

[@elenna1237]

Shane just walking away unknowingly though :D :D

[@beepusboop8678]

TAS: M a r r i a g e Shane: Y- TAS: * faints*

[@junietwoknees]

*Hands you a pizza as you try to exit your house with a chair just outside your front door, flails wildly until exhausted and collapses in front of you* you: fuck, thats kinda hot.

[@RealestPerson.]

So just like normal

[@Pepe_69]

Also you : probably 100% sexually depressed and still a Virgin with only one best friend who happens to be your left hand

[@marbeltoast]

7:21 "Underscore makes sure to check his mail first." Me, nodding along "If he didn't, the quest today would be for a corpse." DOUBLE TAKE

[@BlaDeSDV]

Hah! Quartz.

[@ihavenoidea2805]

"this would be a problem, as underscore does not have a corpse"

[@robotninjago]

“And going in the mines would be too slow”

[@june9914]

@@robotninjagoif he gets 8 hearts with Abigail he can get her corpse

[@solumblu5979]

ah yes placing 47 mixed seeds in a row and only getting cauliflower

[@aliciamarrow7062]

5:17 i just can't stop of thinking of Shane standing there in disbelief watching a guy who gave him gift swinging his pickaxe for no reason. And then just goes to his job like nothing happened

[@annsh.6487]

So this is what parents mean when they say screentime is limited to half an hour per day

[@persebunny]

Stepping outside and hitting the same chair everyday only to see the new town farmer hammering away at your aunt's fence with a pickaxe before they gift you exactly what you asked for same day, and give you your most favourite foods, before continuing to hammer at the fence until they pass out and presumably aren't seen until the next day.

[@woooooooooooooooooooooooo]

And then you marry them

[@persebunny]

@@woooooooooooooooooooooooo I mean if I saw that everyday I’d be head over heels

[@shieldon530]

i lol'd at 21:36. Underscore just performed what is currently the most optimal route to make shane fall in love with the player, but can't even get a kiss from his new husband in the first moments of their honeymoon. epic gamer moment indeed.

[@UltimateSpinDash]

"The reason this run is for Shane is for his schedule" What future are we headed for where neither looks OR personality matter for spousal choice?

[@oreagamerkat9228]

“So, what made you fall in love with him?” “well his schedule is very compatible with mine-“

[@atherisGAY]

@@oreagamerkat9228 "Well he walks to work at 7am sharp out of his house every day except sunday which makes it easy to walk unto him every morning at 638 steps *giggles and squeezes Shanes hand*"

[@alteregobruh]

@@atherisGAYNah, closer to 7:15 lmao i know this idiots schedule way too well

[@elenna1237]

15:22 despite Underscore's best efforts, Gus still cheats and enters Pierre's before 9 am :D

[@SANumber169]

unfortunately (in this instance, in other situations it is fortunate), getting in a villager's way makes them FASTER

[@elenna1237]

@@SANumber169 True, and if Underscore had really been doing his best to slow down Gus he would have been better off only blocking for a second or two, moving away before Gus went into fast mode, letting Gus take a couple steps at normal speed, and then repeating the process. But I figured the way I phrased it was funnier. :D

[@SuburbaniteUrbanite]

Shane is there all clean and tidy while TASman is there looking like a disheveled homeless man panting and dying because of this whirlwind of the past month of doing random shit.

[@usernametaken017]

role reversal

[@MikeSub14Z]

"So what did you first love about me?

[@LocalGhostSoru]

Fun fact: the bridge on the beach is the size of about one tree however you need 300 wood to fix it

[@michaelleue7594]

That's because trees explode when they get turned horizontal, so you need to stack all the wood vertically. It takes a lot more wood stacked that way, but it doesn't explode, so you just have to live with it.

[@lord_big]

@@michaelleue7594 And you'll just have to live with the face that people like to make fun facts in youtube comment you ignorant swine

[@paulzu2778]

Imagine someone named underscore who has a goku haircut enters your town, and in a month, they are engaged to one of the residents, is financially stable, and has a house that is better than most of the other residents.

[@millionelectricvolts6117]

I wouldn't call it financially stable...

[@paulzu2778]

@@millionelectricvolts6117 just about

[@millionelectricvolts6117]

@@paulzu2778 sigma grindset farmer: bankrupt every after harvest, after using all his money to buy seeds to plant in every square of land in his farm

[@paulzu2778]

@@millionelectricvolts6117 It’s about drive!

[@ultimatedarkrai255]

@@paulzu2778 it’s about power

[@seqka711]

If you were to marry every marriageable Stardew NPC as fast as possible, I wonder who would be the slowest? Sebastian or Emily with their later schedules maybe?

[@captaindemozan2700]

He isn't exactly a "marriage" NPC, but considering you need to donate 60 items to the museum to even meet Krobus, I think he'd be the most difficult.

[@BlaDeSDV]

When you predict the billboard quests, the main factor is schedule.

[@galaxi6585]

@Paul his loved gifts kind of suck as well, frozen tear needs mines and sashimi needs you to befriend linus and do fishing

[@oreagamerkat9228]

ooh, I’d like to see a TAS speedrun to marry Sebastian-

[@bravelittleroomba]

@@galaxi6585 Actually sashimi is sometimes on offer at the saloon. So is pumpkin soup. I bet if everything was seeded right, it'd be easy to get supplied up with loved gifts for Seb through the saloon.

[@sam-zx8ns]

"This is possible for a seeded runner to perform, but you have to be very diligent at tracking steps." Now WHO would do such a thing...

[@ghostapologist4067]

Flinching every time you hear BlaDe mention step counting is the stream-watcher experience 🤧

[@vickyt99]

I totally didn't catch myself intensely counting the steps multiple times during the video 😅

[@ghostapologist4067]

@@vickyt99 okay that’s a mood though

[@2DiamondShovelsX]

Idk why but the way you say "pepper poppers" just makes my brain happy so thank you for making my evening 😂

[@PolishJohnWick]

Imagine a super computer which speedruns your entire life and achieves every single one of your goals under 10 years

[@atherisGAY]

I can recommend typing "Rick and Morty Roy: A Life Well Lived" and watching that scene! I think you'd like it. Your comment reminded me of that.

[@SpaghettiEnterprises]

I don't think I would want to speedrun 10 years of my life

[@cinny1313]

That's basically the plot of the Be More Chill musical

[@dexistrash7668]

shane: don't you have work to do? farmer: yeah just let me uhh pickaxe the fuck out of the outside of your house until i pass out

[@arjc5714]

This was, of course, wildly impressive.

[@jauxro]

Haha the genre of Stardew is, like, slice of life farming simulator, but the genre of the Townie's lives in a meta sense is some strange sci-fi horror

[@Ylurple]

19:20 this was the funniest part. Shane is assaulted with a pizza on his way out and then is blocked by a chair, and then his boyfriend runs away

[@jh681]

They should add this marriage thing to real life.

[@infiniteplanes5775]

I got good news and bad news

[@beep_beep_]

There is something so deeply hilarious yet concerning about this relationship lmao

[@thewolfofthestars1847]

Farmer arrives at their grandpa's old plot of land and immediately rearranges all the furniture in a matter of milliseconds

[@mulletman7936]

I like to imagine the farmer moved to the valley and fell in love with the first person they met in these speedruns. The chaos is imagining them meet the rest of the villagers and finding out Shane is only slightly more kept together than Pam and that the choices made in haste are aggressively unforgiving.

[@kohaku4913]

Wow a collab between the man who knows SDV inside out and the so called "computer speedrunner"? Must be my lucky day!

[@Tomec86]

I don't know what is more impressive... the fact that this is 1/2 the time of the current world record or the fact that it's only 1/2 the time. Normally when I see/think TAS I think of just insane time savings and super impossible things. While the menus and stuff are super insane, along with the impossible frame perfect manip, I kind of expected a TAS to be a lot quicker

[@No-Me3]

A hobo and loser love story. Can relate. Minus the love part.

[@DaveWAMWLeon]

The timing on "he just goes to sleep" with the music stopping was too much lmao

[@ToastGreeting]

I had to pause in both anger and enlightenment when you dropped the Shane loving peppers fact. I checked him out on the wiki and somehow missed that so I kept giving him gifts I knew he liked, which became cranberries. This whole time I've been giving only Lewis peppers

[@_Shrub]

I would assume that a computer would marry Maru rather than Shane

[@insomniacraccoon]

watching underscore not adopt the cat broke my heart ;'(

[@bravelittleroomba]

Judging by his behaviour the rest of the run, the cat's probably better off with Marnie.

[@martinlorenzo8109]

Even the AI knows Shane is the superior option

[@simplysky25]

When you mentioned in Z's stream on Thursday that you were releasing this "in the morning," my American brain was waiting at 8am EST Friday, blissfully unaware of how far ahead you are in NZ 😂 Anyway, thrilled to have the video now! It was a delight to watch/listen!

[@danmeifan]

"Pierre's opens at 9, so Underscore spends the time annoying Gus." I love this commentary lol

[@partiallypeculiar4545]

"Underscore proposes, and passes out." Next think you know they pass out at the wedding.

[@chrysanthex]

Thank you for the subtitles! Sometimes I need to turn volume down or I’m just overwhelmed by noise that day and these make it so much easier to follow and read along. I want to let you know they’re appreciated!

[@cass6020]

I'm so used to getting bad autogenerated captions that i haven't been checking if a channel is doing CC, but when they do I love it There's a Philosophy Tube video with really playful closed captions during music that you'd never have known exists without having CC on, and that sort of thing makes me really happy. I've also seen a chess channel that captions with more specifics than what he actually says out loud, so if he says something vague on stream the highlight short covers it

[@JoannaLovesHistoryBooks]

This was so satisfying to watch. I'm not very smart about these things. Why does this take more actual days than the Haley run?

[@BlaDeSDV]

The Haley run is based on in game days. This run is based on real life time. Shane is faster in real life time due to his schedule. Haley is faster in game days due to her earlier birthday.

[@madeline569]

Another great lecture from Stardew U Thanks Prof. BlaDe!

[@PopcornEmma]

this feels like performance art

[@Pepe_69]

The only normal day he didn't pass out was his wedding day Thank god

[@KaiUndMoritz]

i love TAS runs but seeing it in Stardew is just amazing

[@mochapoke3100]

" guarantees the dish of the day will be pepper poppers" does dish of the day change what's in the trash can by the saloon?

[@BlaDeSDV]

The current dish of the day can be in the trash can. A different step count would still get a dish from the trash, but it wouldnt be pepper poppers

[@ovr_dave]

"Underscore proposes and passes out." Bro couldn't believe it

[@jplayzow]

Some narcoleptic dude moves into town and within a month Shane realizes he's in love you've talked like times been gift bombed and nobody knows anything about this new guy yet he knows everything about you

[@max5183]

I love your videos. So much cool stuff to learn about this great game and the way you narrate and voice over the game play is superb! Others already said it, it's like watching a well made documentary so soothing.

[@jauxro]

There's a book like this. "Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint"

[@louichen1433]

Now that I think about it, the passing out is a pretty good equivalent to him constantly dying

[@shieldsdown227]

6:50 "Thanks so much!" "..." "How many times do I have to tell you to leave me alone?"

[@mewsli]

Underscore proposes and passes out ! Hmmmm, that may or may not have been my experience with my late ( ex ) husband !! Seriously however props to Underscore for this run and props to Blade for the explanation!

[@archon_maenad]

Blade's voice describing nerdy things 🥰

[@ltsACroissant]

I loved this so much! would be super happy to see content like this more :D

[@reneewyatt4653]

Thank goodness you use your intelligence for good and not evil. 😝

[@cherrycola6736]

Understandable. I would also marry a robot, shane

[@joyuna]

WOW. Cool run and thanks for the clear commentary! Helps me appreciate the work all the more.

[@sirbabybee6267]

I'm very late to this video but I LOVE this content. I adore narration and you are excellent at it.

[@lucykitsune4619]

"Yea he just proposed to me, which was super sweet and I absolutely accepted and then passed out. Don't know what that's about but anyways I had to go get to work yknow..."

[@Gray.1063]

“As soon as Shane appears, underscore stuffs a pizza in his face” never thought I’d hear something like that in my lifetime.. 😂💀

[@aschir32]

Still a better love story than twilight

[@PlomiennyJacus]

the absolute disrespect of wearing a Joja t-shirt to your wedding xD

[@tsbit]

This was incredibly impressive

[@Yanzinator]

i remember back in 1.2, once you unlock bouqets you just got 10 hearts instantly as long as you could afford it

[@Cymricus]

blade is the most -australian- person i’ve ever heard and i love it edit: he’s from NZ but i’m american so untrained ears and all that

[@BlaDeSDV]

Weird, because I am Kiwi.

[@T_Jade]

That’s not an Aussie accent it’s kiwi lol I’d know I’m Aussie

[@Cymricus]

y’all i thought that was a fruit

[@jams7781]

@@Cymricus bruh

[@BlaDeSDV]

It's another term for a New Zealander

[@SANumber169]

Wouldn't it be faster to get the fishing rod on the day when you are waiting for pierres to open and spend an hour annoying gus? then you'd have a shorter walk on proposal day to get the pendant from entering the beach.

[@BlaDeSDV]

Getting the fishing rod meets Willy, and messes up the billboard quests

[@helpme3230]

the start was the funniest thing i've ever seen

[@melontrophy]

The narration makes it feel like I'm watching peppa pig

[@ethelv3]

Seeing Underscore pass out made me die of laughter every single time

[@DaveWAMWLeon]

This is pure comedy gold

[@iamr0ttinginside]

Imagine actually having to go to work whenever it rains on weekends

[@espressocookie8965]

I'd like to see a TAS run the Day 17 Marry Haley speedrun. See how fast irl you can marry someone the fastest in game.

[@BlaDeSDV]

Good idea. I have passed this onto Underscore, and he may be routing it

[@alienhatz3265]

gives shane back a pizza he mailed you that day passes out immediately he marries you for this reason

[@2003tsuki]

pepper poppers.

[@deathmg]

Top tier content. You deserve way more subs than you have. Keep up the good work 👍

[@TurtleofDeath]

"Don't you have work to do?" *whacks pickaxe into barrels harder"

[@Vinja_Wolters]

If the computers rise we will not stand a chance

[@cass6020]

I always seem to underestimate the shenanigans that are bound to ensue whenever theres a TAS run of a game I play a lot

[@tearsandsnots9492]

I didn't know you can grow giant crop like that 🤯

[@emilyblack7342]

I want someone to run a machine learning algorithm or something to speed run Stardew! What little I know about ml says that the resulting strategies would be near incomprehensible.

[@KnifeWife-vx6hx]

Loved it

[@grandmasteryoda2605]

if you can marry him in 20 minutes ladies, he belongs in the JojaMart

[@Arrowo]

hold up... so you just need 1 cauliflower that can turn into a giant one? i thought you needed a 3x3 area xD that's cool to know

[@e1io214]

It needs to be in a 3x3 are, but only the center one has to be grown/watered

[@usernametaken017]

As of 1.6 only the top left crop needs to be watered

[@sebbog]

MARRY SEBASTIAN, why? well because yes 😎

[@MudakTheMultiplier]

all dates speedrun when? (and maybe all marriages in the future?)

[@AttacMage]

shane married one beautiful woman

[@NoReplyAsset]

fascinating

[@rurunosep]

"Underscore proposes and passes out" relatable

[@spam9118]

Instead of annoying Gus couldn’t you go to the beach to bypass the cutscene and be closer to the bridge and thus get the pendent a tiny bit sooner

[@usernametaken017]

this would mess uo the billboard quests

[@eduardoperes4206]

11:40 poor catto 😭🤧

[@ellap6828]

Could you have made it faster if you got the fishing rod while waiting for Pierres to open on the 22nd, and then you would be closer to the bridge to buy the pendant?

[@Crobbly]

I think the TAS could be a bit faster if you went to the beach to trigger the fishing pole cutscene instead of annoying gus while waiting for pierre. That should save time, since u spawn closer to the bridge

[@usernametaken017]

this would mess up the delivery quests on the bulletin board

[@Crobbly]

@@usernametaken017 its been a year