Who is LYING? Body Language Analyst REACTS! Love is Blind: Did Cole Cheat on Zanab?

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Hey Everyone! Welcome to the pinned comment! 😃 There were 4 big points I remembered during editing that I wanted to elaborate on as I think they are important/hilarious. 1) This one is so funny and I think my combined experience of working on television and editing youtube videos couldn't let this go. In my video, at 12:53 we see Cole taking a bite out of something, By the looks of it they are having crackers, cheese and fruit. The thing he bites looks a lot like a mango, maybe a pineapple, but It makes an obnoxiously loud crunch. Later at 14:55 he is biting the exact same thing, and it is silent. They ADDED the sound of a crunch to elaborate the awkwardness of his pause/hesitation. Really pay attention to it, it sounds off, and unless that is an orange piece of concrete, that sound makes absolutely no sense. 2) This one has been bugging me alot. at 30:54 in my video, Zanab says a sentence that starts with "Cole." if you turn the subtitles on netflix (and KZbin) on, it reads "Cole you told me THAT THE NIGHT before our wedding." IF that is, in fact what she said, there's a huge hole in her story because seconds later she says "I saw you before the wedding...you said..." (in reality there's more time between the two statements but in my edit it's seconds later) this would mean her story changed about when he would have told her this. HOWEVER! I think there's a chance Netflix got the subtitle wrong. I think it's possible that the initial statement is not "you told me THAT THE NIGHT before our wedding" but rather "you told me THAT RIGHT before our wedding." I've listened to it a dozen times, with increased volume and slowed down, it's nearly impossible to tell which of the two she's saying, it's like whichever one is in your head, that's what she is saying. In addition to this, if she did in fact mean the night before the wedding that would mean she showed up to the wedding and did her pre wedding interviews and said some nice things about him and didn’t mention this giant bomb he dropped on her the night before. She even said in post interviews that she didn’t know what she was going to say until she was at the alter, something doesn’t add up. So what do you think? did she contradict herself or did Netflix get the subtitle wrong? 3) It is important to note that at the pool party, Cole did cross the line with Colleen. He was flirting with her which i thought was highly inappropriate. I am not excusing this in any way, and when I saw it I was irritated and sad for Zanab. I think Cole has acted like an A-hole on numerous occasions and I would understand someone not liking him based on those things but acting like a jackass doesn't make someone a liar. We have to seperate the two. He never denied flirting with Colleen, he is denying flirting with this other woman at the bachelor party 4) I spent a lot of time thinking about the two guys sitting next to Cole, SK and Bartise, and their silence. First, this is not uncommon for them, there are a LOT of conversations happening where they are both sitting there very still. There's definitely a chance that one of them has some information about Cole's activities that night and that's why they aren't saying anything but because this stillness is quite normal for them, I think it's slightly more likely that they have nothing to add to this. They don't seem to be agreeing or disagreeing with what is being said. I would love to ask them a few questions just to be sure. It’s also entirely possible that they are trying to not draw any attention to themselves whatsoever because they both also messed up (in different ways at different times, it was all revealed later on) and may not want the mob to turn on them. at the end of the day I think it's possible that Zanab may have asked Cole "so what happened at the bachelor party" and in that classic jokey way, Cole said "I totally met a girl and made out with her and asked for her number" and in the exact same way that she misunderstood and misremembered the cuties incident, she did the same with this. This is the only way I can explain her conviction in that accusal, because if it isn't something like this, one of them is blatantly lying and I don't believe it's Cole. 2 additional thoughts after reading some comments: 1- some of you pointed out some deceptive behaviors in Cole (face touching, qualifiers, raised pitch) I don’t disagree. But I like to remind myself that studies show that people who fear not being believed behave the same way liars behave because they want to sell their story more, and clusters only indicate that we need to ask more questions and believe me I’dd love to ask Cole some questions too. I’m basing my conclusion here on alot of context but based on behavior, in an interview, I would want to ask him more questions here. Also keep in mind his denial looks and sounds a LOT like his denial of the clementines story and the consensus of the fans seems to be that his denial of that one was honest and he didn’t mean it the way she took it. 2- some of you pointed something brilliant out which I filmed and then for some reason didn’t include in the final edit. She seemed prepared for his denial. As soon as he denied it she didn’t need time to register or look surprised by it. She immediately jumped on it and “filled him in” on the story. This felt bizarre to me. What do you think?

[@Azx12345]

She definitely said "Cole you told me" I heard it clearly

[@TheBehavioralArts]

@@Azx12345 yes of course she said that. The debate isn’t wether she said “Cole you told me” it’s wether she said “that the night before “ or “right before”

[@ginacasbert]

Today is my birthday, so thanks for the video!!❤😊

[@Azx12345]

​​​​@@TheBehavioralArts ya it's confusing for sure but I think she said night and there's an eye flutter too when she says I saw you BEFORE the wedding

[@hez01]

​​​@@TheBehavioralArtsI think Bartise and SK were silent because they had their own bad behaviour they didn't want to be brought up. They saw how Cole was being dragged through the mud by everyone and while true he is not free from saying stupid things or acting inappropriately, I saw way more red flags from Bartise and especially Matt that season, and it was barely talked about at the reunion. And well, we all know how SK and Raven ended.

[@djspecialk1]

Zeneb is a narcissist. I was married to a vulnerable narcissist for 23 years. It's all there. The gas lighting, the lying, the mood fluctuations, the entitlement, the manipulation, the passive aggression, the grandiosity, the flying monkeys, playing the victim etc. It physically made sick watching her behavior as it just brought it all back to me. Sure, Cole is immature but he didn't deserve that. No one does. Once you know, you learn to avoid these people like the plague. Hopefully he now knows what he was in for if she decided to say 'yes.'

[@JulieHarmes]

I thought the exact same thing! She's so condescending

[@TheRawKrystal]

💯 thought the same thing. My ex of nearly a decade acted a lot like this except more hidden accusations and gaslighting. He always presented in a woe is me type way. I felt like I was losing my mind by the end of it. Shoot. I almost did. So awful. I wish my marriage had cameras and producers, like… hey, can you pull that footage of this conversation, please? 🤣😅

[@MistyEry]

Yes narcissistic or boarder line but the way she looked at cole, it seems that she could be close to narcissistic.

[@jamicottin1429]

She gave more borderline personality signs than narcissism. I think narcissism gets thrown around a lot and isn’t always the case. She clearly has self esteem issues. After watching a personality type breakdown on her it pointed out her flip flopping of praising him and degrading him all at once while at the altar. Definitely one of the many things that I think points to borderline personality disorder type behavior, along with her internalizing his comments like with the cuties thing.

[@djspecialk1]

@@jamicottin1429 She checked off quite a few boxes for NPD. No doubt about it.

[@ginodc5944]

When her stepmom went up to comfort Cole, to me, it felt like she was almost apologizing, as if she knows something about how Zanab can be.. As for the girl's number, apparently they went to a rodeo and Cole actually got a calf, which meant getting her number tag or something. There is a theory that Cole joked about that being getting a girl's number referring to the calf. The people that really annoy me are actually Alexa and Brennon. When Cole is talking they are often snickering, almost as if they know better. Just my 2 cents but based on my gut feel, I call BS on Brennon being so drunk that he remembers nothing. That was just him trying to stay on Alexa's side and not wanting to add anything that might help Cole's story. He comes off as someone without a moral backbone.

[@OneFreemanC17]

Thank you! I thought I was the only one who had a bone to pick with Brennon. His smarmy grin and head shaking the whole time kept bugging me.

[@CassTeaElle]

I totally agree about Zay's mom. It would be extremely weird, if Cole actually was abusive and terrible to her daughter, for her to even go up to him and say anything at all.

[@dh2612]

100% agree Gino DC!

[@CrackedSociety]

Brennon need to focus on his own relationship lol i see a very difficult future for his marriage with alexa. I feel an unbalance with them in many things. Even though in some relationships both can be very different but they balance each other out, these two are way off kilter. I think he’s going to give a lot more than she will in this marriage imo

[@barbaraschryver1640]

@@CassTeaElle 😅

[@lengl1125]

I watched the whole season when it aired. Cannot stand Zanab. I don't think Cole is without his faults but Zanab has a whole lot of issues that she needs to sort out through therapy or professional help before she can ever be in any kind of relationship. She twists anything Cole says and turns it into her own reality. The fact that her own stepmum was comforting him at the altar speaks volumes.

[@st8fromtheho0d18]

I agree with this!! I don't know much about the situation outside of this video... but even when the dad readjusted himself and the other lady's face was shown, I think they were both shocked and annoyed at her decision!!!

[@hez01]

@lengl1125 💯

[@pod8234]

The other thing she did was go to the entire cast to get them on her side. Since Cole had a quirky personality she was easily believed. These types ALWAYS spread rumors and gossip to balance the scales in their favor. The innocent never even think of doing that.

[@diamondchambers9802]

I feel the same wayyy

[@deborahrose8621]

@@st8fromtheho0d18 I agree but will add that the step dad had a "oh fuck - she's pulling another shit show" which is not like a shock of surprise and the step mom almost saw it coming and turned her ear because she needed to witness this without any person emotion! She's been down that road with Zenab too many times that she is numb with reaction Anyhow that's my opinion Another opinion is that Zenab needs to be in therapy

[@ailene_e]

Cole was almost embarrassingly honest the whole show. I knew pretty immediately at the reunion that she was lying. I felt absolutely awful for him. Zanab is extremely unstable and manipulative. He dodged a bullet honestly, but its terrible that she gaslighted him like that and turned everyone against him.

[@Whitesquall123]

Cole had truthful Tourette's syndrome lol

[@Dragonheart2549]

Embarrassingly honest is so accurate! There were so many times when they were on vacation where I wanted to tell him to shut up lol he can be truthful and not be rude. The most simple fix is to redirect the conversation to why he loved Zanab rather than continuing on about Coleen.

[@thermalrain_yt9725]

100%

[@lamay7238]

@@asimhussain8716 Cole was still an innocent young guy. He was prob ruined after this though.

[@kimmieb2u]

​@@asimhussain8716 ikr???

[@caydence808]

As someone who shamelessly watched the entire season, I can safely say if you have your head screwed on straight, you will see how Zanab set Cole up to be the villian, when in reality Zanab was the real villian. She projected all of her insecurities onto Cole forcing him to carry and made to feel responsible for things he did not do but she felt inside--- and it worked. At the end of the seaon she given free reign at the alter to completely character assassinate him. Yes, Cole was not perfect but he never deserved the quiet manipulative torture Zanab unleashed on him, nope.

[@ailene_e]

100%

[@oekmama]

I watched the whole season. Throughout the season, she was constantly fishing for reassurance from Cole and she never got it. He just wasn’t capable to parsing what she was saying, feeling and needing at the same time. Neither he nor any of us viewers could comprehend that she took each lack of reassurance as such a soul-crushing attack. I think the foster mom had a clue when she comforted him at the altar. I don’t believe the other girl existed other than in Zainab’s mind… that’s the 10 that she could never attain…

[@Morticia147]

Me too, Zaneb is a walking red flag. He made mistakes and honestly I would have ended it after the pool party, but she made a sport out of it to destroy him. And that's disgusting, he didn't do it on purpose - she DID.

[@Althea-M]

💯

[@oekmama]

@@seedsoflove7684 Every time she gave him a chance to reassure her, and he didn’t recognize and use it, it crushed her.

[@Jennreb-Art]

So glad for this analysis. I watched this season of Love is Blind, it was so hard to watch those two together. Zanab was painfully insecure and Cole was painfully honest. But the most difficult part was her soul crushing attitude towards him, he was bright , happy and playful; she was insecure, manipulative, extremely needy and cruel. I’m so glad they didn’t stay together.

[@bekahanneful]

This feels accurate to me.

[@S-anneli]

This is exactly what I thought of Zanab. In the "tangerine" insident you can see Cole being exited about going out. She on the other hand seems irritated and very self centered in that moment. Answering snappingly with her back turned to him.

[@Piggyn]

She is the type of woman who will nag, insult, and condescend... and then try to become the victim when he finally stands up for himself... and then tell her friends that he gets angry out of nowhere and is toxic.

[@user-zd7cc5xc1s]

I'm a female, and I was absolutely appauled at how these grown arse women bullied Cole at the reunion. I watched the whole show. Cole wasn't perfect and said some shitty things which he apologised for, but zaneb a huge gaslighter!

[@lizzx21]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼💯🤯🤬

[@kwokkathy5271]

Agreed, she gaslight the hell out of everyone

[@emsky333]

He did say some inconsiderate things for sure, however she could have also told him how bad it made her feel. How can anyone learn and grow if you don't educate them. Personally think she appears to have some MH issues.

[@RobynStephens]

@@emsky333 fair but I feel like the things he said would hurt anyone's feelings? Idk. He should have known better. He said hurtful things to the wrong girl bc Zanab has severe self esteem and insecurity issues.

[@DivinityinLove]

Fulllllyyyyyyyy think the same! They bullied him!

[@romanticblossom]

I gotta be honest, the main reason why I actually hated season 3 is how they all treated Cole. And it seems extreme but listen, yes everyone had messy relationships like every season of LIB really (especially SK&Raven and Nancy&Batiste) but I've never seen a cast act so viciously towards another participant without actually having any sort of evidence? On top of the guy being completely humiliated and destroyed at the altar. Like I'm sorry I'm no body language specialist but the way he was crying, the way he was with her stepmom. Everything was so unnecessarily brutal towards a guy that honestly didn't deserve this at all (SK, bartiste and even Matt and his rage attacks did worst things that Cole ever could and they didn't get this treatment). Did cole make mistakes? Of course yes but they're in no way proportional to how he was treated, it legit drives me insane. Cause you can tell Zanab (or idk who) keeps telling stories about him to the others (Raven and Nancy supporting her Bachelor Party story even tho they don't even know what the heck happened) and kind of creating this false scenario that the dude is a monster when.... He's just a regular dude that made mistakes and actually apologized for them.

[@smartmarketing173]

I honestly think Netflix owes him a public apology. And someone in this position might even sue for defamation, or similar

[@mumumaxima]

@@smartmarketing173 i also think Zanab owes an apology too, plus the other girls in The Cuties. Irina and Micah did that after Netflix aired the episode when they became a mean girls to Bliss (season 4). How about The Cuties who was absolutely mean and destroyed Cole? Such a horrible attitudes. Disgusting.

[@koalapillars]

Agreed, Matt and Bartiste were way more problematic

[@lisahenshall3053]

And all her friends clapping at her humiliating him at the wedding. That infuriated me. Seeing him so broken had me in tears.

[@romanticblossom]

@@lisahenshall3053 yessss. It was such an unnecessary humiliation, unnecessary hurt cause you can tell he actually loved her too like ...man. The way the cast treated them after it's all so ugly

[@tayj92]

The thing I picked up on was Zanab’s reaction when Cole questioned Raven’s statement. She seemed prepared for Cole’s confusion, and waisted no time defending the story. Her response was almost spring loaded, “You told me that the night before the wedding”. It almost seemed like she was announcing it to him.

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Yeeeessssss!!!!! So perfectly said! There seems to be a need to fill him in on the narrative immediately. Edit: I actually covered this exact point in my original video and it seems for some reason it’s not in the final edit, no idea why. But yeah she seems ready for his confusion, you explained it perfectly.

[@javanjunkindahouse6625]

Bam! This

[@SandyDiVa]

Im also wondering if Cole didn’t say this…but one of the girls did that night. There’s always the possibility that one of the women planted the bachelor party idea in Zanab’s head & shes lying (about Cole telling her) to strengthen her case. Unfortunately, there are women out there, jealous, selfish women, who will try to sabotage a relationship to take the guy. Again just an alternative option that could be a factor at play here.

[@seedsoflove7684]

@@TheBehavioralArts maybe do a follow up and discuss others? Or maybe just move on!😁

[@cattoes1609]

@The behavioral arts- I swear that Zinabe misunderstood about what happened on the batchelor party. Cole chased a cow AND GOT HER NUMBER. I bet one of the other girls heard it wrong from their guy and told Z bad information.

[@CassTeaElle]

I really hate how people pick on Cole for being an honest person. It's absolutely ridiculous for a woman to ask her partner to rate her and then ask him if there's anyone else he finds more attractive, and then get mad at him for being honest. That's such an incredibly toxic thing for women to do. It irritates me to no end. You're literally just training your partner to learn that you would prefer if they lied to you.

[@pnwlady]

Yup. Don’t ask questions you don’t want to hear the answer to. The immaturity in some of these folks is off the charts. All these “girls girls” are just that. Girls. Adults tell their friends when they’re contributing to their own issues. Zanab 💯 makes up her issues and twists real things to come off like something way worse. We can see it. Didn’t they watch the show? Why are they backing her? So glad they showed the cuties scene.

[@alinapiekna6963]

I recall that during the bipolar scene when she was mad, she told Cole he should go meet someone at his bachelor party that better suits him. So she probably imagined it in her head. Reminds me of a narcissist turning everyone against him.

[@jennas4281]

I forgot about that! This makes so much more sense now, especially if she asked him how the bachelor party went and he made a joke about meeting someone like she told him to do

[@dct90210]

​@@jennas4281 I could definitely see my husband making a joke like that

[@DidgiPuddy]

That's a good fit for what's going on here. I can imagine he hurt her a lot and she'll always feel like a runner up prize because of his tactlessness and immaturity. But in an effort to hate him so much because she cared about him so much, she might have added that conversation (after twisting it into him saying to her he had actually done this) to a list of wrongs he'd done to her. Just to help herself justify dumping him. I think at this point she was convinced her worse fears were true, that he was passively mentally and emotionally controlling her, and she'd fallen for it. As for the fruit. He should've chosen better words and shut the fudge up, straight away, when she said she hadn't eaten much all day. After that answer, all he needed to say was 'OK' and nodd. After all, how full can a couple of clementines make you?

[@arris.7207]

​@@DidgiPuddy He was telling her to save her appetite because they were going to eat a huge dinner later. What normal person would think someone would twist something as simple as that?

[@GS-ni9wb]

What kind of person asks their new boyfriend what they "rate" their physical appearance vs. others? If you ask me Cole dodged a bullet.

[@StephanieSwan666]

Exactly! Cole gets a lot of criticism for how he dealt with the question, rightly so but who on earth asks such a question. It's utterly disingenuous, a trap basically.

[@Jessica.Shawnte]

it makes sense before that he kept telling her that Colleen & Raven were better looking

[@nomeacaso4034]

@@Jessica.Shawnte it makes sense when you are 15, not a grown up woman

[@sallys9632]

Just screams insecurity to me

[@CassTeaElle]

I cannot freaking stand women who stir up drama like that and then have the audacity to blame the man for the mess they just created.

[@ailene_e]

Another big thing everyone noticed at the reunion was how uncomfortable and distressed Colleen looked with Matt. Mind you, she denied anything was wrong in their relationship, but her body language was clearly saying the opposite. I'd love a video about them too.

[@TellitTay]

Yes agreed, would like a video on them as well!

[@TheBehavioralArts]

There are two “yes”es at the alter that have enormously surprised me in this show. One was Colleen. The other is from this season but I don’t want to say who in case you haven’t seen it yet.

[@sydnaps1995]

@@TheBehavioralArts we def need a video about that pair...so many people feel something is not good in that relationship

[@ailene_e]

@@TheBehavioralArts I was very shocked she said yes as well. Her body language at the altar was also very tense. I haven’t watched the new season yet, honestly the last one left a bad taste in my mouth, I wasn’t eager to watch another one.

[@iPicti]

Yeah that guy exhibits major red flags of a possibly abusive and/or controlling person.

[@sm5574]

If we believe that Cole made a drunken joke about hitting on a woman, or if we give Zanab any other benefit of the doubt, we're still left with the fact that she did not mention this at the altar, and that it clearly couldn't have bothered her too much if the only person to ever actually bring it up is Raven.

[@TellitTay]

💯🙌🏾

[@sandradube4456]

Brilliant!

[@Aerie925]

Zaneb not bringing that up at the altar could just be b/c she didn’t want to say that in front of his family 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@sm5574]

@@Aerie925, possibly, though she didn't seem to be holding back. But even if that were the case, it still doesn't seem to have bothered her too much. When it was brought up at the reunion, she didn't dwell on it. She just said that his words didn't hurt her anymore and moved on. We have no indication that she considered this a major reason she decided not to be with him.

[@annesnyder3070]

She easily could have initially misconstrued it, vented to raven, then realized it wasn't that bad later. Raven bringing it up meant she had to defend that initial thought process.

[@barbaradowning2044]

Zanab is one of the most insecure people I have ever seen. She was constantly needing validation and if Cole didn’t answer exactly how she wanted, she turned it around that he was putting her down. Zanab manipulated the rest of the cast into believing her lies about how Cole treated her and thank god for the cuties video! Cole didn’t deserve the way all the girls treated him at the reunion and after.

[@oliviascott526]

I have absolutely no sympathy for Zanab. She's a master at manipulating and she completely destroyed Cole due to her own lack of self esteem and MASSIVE insecurities. Of course Cole isn't perfect and completely innocent in the whole thing, but he grew so much as a person because he recognized his short comings and the things he needed to change about himself to be in a healthy relationship. Zanab did nothing to take a look at herself and realize what she needed to work on. She's happy being a toxic controlling person, and when things go wrong she can blame it all on everyone else. The saddest thing is watching Cole go from a boisterous, confident, (maybe a little too) cocky guy to a shell of a man, so broken and disillusioned with love.

[@mameeocean6194]

In real life, if you were in a relationship where hurtful comments were made, you would tell them that you are hurt by the things he said. It would give him the opportunity to self reflect right there and be like, "woah, I didn't mean to make you feel this way". He could've had a chance to become more attentive to showing her what she's worth to him and being more cognizant of his interactions or conversations involving the other woman to prove his respect for her feelings. Instead she stayed quietly festering the whole time until she could stick it to him. He seemed like an honest guy, not some kind of super shallow verbally abusive jerk.

[@cheesecake8094]

Could not agree more

[@oekmama]

Zainab needed a lot of reassurance and she consistently never got it from Cole. He assumed that she was self-confident and never knew that she was keeping a scorecard to get back at him.

[@cloelles]

Even more disgusting was how she talked everybody else in the group against Cole. In the reunion episode almost everybody ganged up on him and treated him like a piece of trash. That was really hard to watch. She wanted all of them to hate him and support her fragile ego. Cole came out looking like a hero. How a person can stay that calm and collected when all of them were attacking him is admirable. The eagerness of all of them to side with Zanab AND the joy they took in judging him without having the full story speaks to the kind of people they are. You never know what goes on behind closed doors that is a fact. There are always 2 sides to the story and the truth is somewhere in between. Cole was such a gracious person he never wanted to go into details about their relationship even when asked because some things should remain private. Her insecure fragile ego made her want to hurt him in the worst possible way and humiliate him publicly. She wanted to revenge him and make him feel like she did + make eveybody else hate him too. She failed. Because Cole clearly has a very steady ego and identity which she lacks. What she did manage to do though is unmask herself and the rage she felt against him.

[@xanevazquez]

This woman is a cruel one. She has issues that need to be addressed by a professional … urgently.

[@Rockstarsoulchild]

The way her step mom comforted cole could indicate that she knows zanab can be off her rocker sometimes

[@offdatopofmyhead]

I watched the whole show.... and I think she lied. I also think the stepmother words give us insight that Zeneb has a history of stuff like this. She said " I know" and "you're ok". She said that to Cole after her daughter said that Cole single handedly destroyed her self esteem. That sounds like someone who has lived through a few similar episodes...... that's my perception. And yes, I watched the whole show, so I have many other reasons for my impressions and opinions. But I just think k this particular situation is very telling.

[@MichiaMakes]

Exactly. The stepmother was basically saying, you dodged a bullet son. You’re no less a man, and you have a whole life ahead of you. She’s always going to be stuck with her.

[@offdatopofmyhead]

@Boops that's exactly 💯 what I think too.

[@lailaalanna315]

Agreed. She knows that's standard behaviour for her daughter 😢

[@wintyforever]

Lord knows how many times the stepmom has been through things like this with her. That lady is a saint.

[@ct7733]

Two things…(1) The cutie situation sealed the deal for me that she is completely deceptive. Just wish the producers would’ve expanded on more of her shenanigans. (2) all of the ladies say “something like that”. No details and total assumptions. I feel like Zenab has tried hard to get people in her side to convince herself her actions and harsh words are justified. What a mess!

[@piscesofthesea6695]

It was the lack of the producers showing clips of these convos that she claimed he was abusive in leads me to believe she is more than likely not being truthful.

[@meyoua]

Zanab has a lot of trauma and insecurities. For someone to have ruined your entire self-esteem in that short amount of time, it was already missing in the first place. I watched this entire season and I agree that Cole was inappropriate many times. However, Zanab is the one painting him as a villian because of her insecurities. The cutie scene proves it.

[@alisonaltidor433]

I clearly remembered Zanab describing Cole as "unfiltered" and "transparent." I actually winced at how brutally honest he was at times, so the accusation of deception by him caught me off guard. Thanks to your brilliant analysis, I have a better understanding of why I found the accusation about the girl the night before the wedding confusing. Thanks again, Spidey!

[@marydodsonmt]

First impression: Cole's confusion and indignation come across as genuine to me. Zanab comes across as a little too controlled; her words communicate hurt and betrayal, but her demeanor doesn't reflect that. Behaviorally, I noticed a huge eye flutter from her as she was telling her story. Also a stop gesture, but I'm not giving that as much weight as she was trying to cut off his narrative at that moment.

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Such great catches 😊

[@michelej8571]

I'm just going to say , My Dude, legit SAVED HIMSELF FROM A LIFE OF TORTURE WITH THIS CHICK SHES SERIOUSLY MIXED FRUIT IN HER HEAD ,yikes . MAN INSECURE X'S INFINITY... SO he doesn't realize it but she actually SAVED Cole from what I can only say would have been NOT A GOOD LIFE

[@christinecarmichael3253]

Because she would always hear it through not being a 10 in his eyes , so with her hurt about that she would always have a bias to anything he said sad . I do think he is telling the truth and maybe he could have jokingly said something about it ,

[@Paula-sw2tt]

I think Cole dodged a bullet here.

[@terryallen7356]

@@Paula-sw2tt My thought exactly. He isn't perfect but she would have ended up driving him crazy.

[@shenaejohnson9682]

I’m so glad you made this video, I watched this season and I was SO ANNOYED at how the entire cast made Cole seem like such a bad guy, that’s not at all how I saw him. I was so sad seeing him on the after show episode, (after the reunion) how broken he was from it all. His character was completely slandered and I felt like he was really mistreated. Glad you came through and laid it all out there, hopefully he sees this video and feel a sense of justice ❤

[@Jill199]

💯

[@Jill199]

I agree. She is so toxic

[@florl.delgado4093]

#FACT

[@anditspaganpoetry]

Same, me and my bf watched the whole thing together and we couldn’t believe how everyone was treating Cole like he was horrible, when he wasn’t, and if anything Zanab turning it on him in such a manipulative way made her horrible.

[@ViolAM3]

For me, the nail in the coffin that Zanab completely made up the story, is the fact that she has clearly TOLD EVERYONE ELSE there in advance "what he did" to garner their sympathy and get them on her side. They ALL blindsided him. They are nothing more than Zanab's gullible flying monkeys. She is a manipulator and a schemer. Cole, poor dear, is maybe a little stupid and needs to learn to edit himself, but he is certainly not malicious. Zanab is imo a malignant person. Brennan is another character I cannot stand. He is convinced Zanab is right (because Alexis says so) and has such a disgusting "gotcha" smile of contempt on his face when Cole first responds in shock. Then is like, "I dunno man, I was drunk out of my mind". So how tf would you know ANYTHING with confidence about what Cole did or did not do,

[@Radmxray]

Totally agree. It was hard to watch how they ganged up on Cole. Brennon is brainless and follows whatever Alexis says. He has no voice. Zanab is a manipulator and wanted to embarrass him and she succeeded, but she ended up looking like a total jerk and turned off her IG because people were not on her side. It backfired and I'm glad it did.

[@nicoleortiz9884]

I also thought this. They clearly had a conversation about him when he wasn't there. She was really trying to get everyone against him.

[@Tikkibombom]

I felt really bad for Cole when he started crying in that scene. From whatever I've seen, he's been himself all along. He's been almost innocent in a way wanting to bare himself to the world. To be rejected for being himself has to hurt a lot. I understand where Zanab comes from, she wants to be seen as perfect for Cole. But in reality, there is no such thing as perfect. I think she has a deep sense of insecurity about herself and she was not ready for Cole's honesty. And it ultimately lead her to hurting him, because she felt hurt. I feel bad for him.

[@sallys9632]

When you grow up with a narcissistic parent, reading manipulative and gaslighting becomes second nature to you. Zanab reminded me so much of my mom, and Cole of myself, where I didn't know how to respond in a way that didn't make me look guilty because I was so busy being flabbergasted by the gaslighting

[@jclyntoledo]

Yes or any emotionally abusive person would also do that. Set you up with trick questions or change the story to make them seem like the victim constantly.

[@gwendee5070]

@TheBehaviorialArts I noticed a number of problematic behaviors from Zanab that were particularly evident in the episodes leading up to the reunion. Zanab had openly admitted to being passive-aggressive, and this trait seemed to become more prevalent as time went on. After sleeping with Cole, Zanab's demeanor changed, as she seemed to believe that he was ignoring her. She became increasingly insecure, often questioning Cole about her appearance *rate my looks*, also when her makeup was off. Unfortunately, Cole's joking around only exacerbated her insecurities, and Zanab often compared herself unfavorably to the other women, seeking validation. My impression was that Zanab was self-sabotaging, had low self-esteem, shallow at times and vindictive. Cole, on the other hand, was very immature and often lacked tact when interacting with Zanab. His behavior frequently betrayed his young age, i didn't see him as cruel person who was abusive to Zanab. In my opinion, Zanab misunderstands his behavior, quirps, and banters as an attack on her, which was far from the truth. In an effort to divert attention from her own behavior, she lied to play the victim, be spiteful, and hurt him out of frustration.

[@TheBehavioralArts]

I completely agree and think you expressed this beautifully. The one place I slightly disagree with you is that I do believe Cole did a few nasty things. For me the worst was blatantly hitting on Colleen at the pool party. I personally did not care for that. Maybe he wasn’t trying to be hurtful but he knows that’s going to air and it’s not a good look for Zanab. I felt the same way about Bartise hitting on Raven and Kwame hitting on Micah in season 4. I don’t like it

[@smartmarketing173]

@@TheBehavioralArtsAfter seeing season 4’s Kwame & Micah blatantly flirting outrageously in the pool, including very close physical contact😮…not saying I give Cole a pass, but I just see it in a whole new light. If you watched that Micah scene with the sound off, you’d assume those two were the couple, but they’re engaged to other people

[@TheBehavioralArts]

@@smartmarketing173 yep. 100% i was disgusted

[@TheHistorian83]

You are so right. Cole was immature and I would be really offended with his behaviour and believe only a girl who is very secure about herself would be able to have a successful relationship with him. Otherwise his immaturity would make anyone would slight self confidence issues suffer

[@lesliesantos8595]

And omg fuck cole lol thats literally immature to say and fucked up to say the least to say it in her face and have no shame . Like its fine if it was a celebrity i guess but even still thats fucked up..that to me is like sone sort of narcissistic thing to do on his part. Like bringing up that there is competition for her...like wtf? If youre really i to this gurl like how he showed in the beginning...youre not gonna be looking elsewhere..for too long anyway..or make the other feel insecure because im sure he knows what hes doing

[@Stormy575]

Another small point to add: it's already been mentioned that Zanab seemed normal the day of the wedding, right up until the altar. She has said (not sure if it came up at the reunion, but definitely in interviews) that she didn't know what she was going to say until she got to the altar. It's hard to believe that after all the alleged abuse, and having just been told about this betrayal at the bachelor party, that she still hadn't made up her mind? And for that to apparently not be a factor in the decision since it wasn't brought up as a reason for her no.

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Completely agree. How did she not know the second he told her that he tried to kiss another girl. Cmon now

[@sb.3835]

I think her entire "response" at the altar was planned and pre-written.

[@TalkativeHands]

@@sb.3835 agree. Along with her friends clapping and her side of the wedding dipping out quickly except for her stepmother staying behind to comfort Cole.

[@jennasorscia9044]

I see in his face what I always felt in my 2 relationships with narcissists, the complete disbelief that someone would lie straight to my face about what I had witnessed and continue to gaslight me after I confronted them on it.

[@Lkabss]

It's tragic that Cole will probably have everlasting trust and commitment issues because of what Zanab did to him. Not to mention how most of the people are on zanabs side and hate him because of it. Zanab can recover from this insecurity she has because she thinks he was the villain. But every time Cole is vulnerable, he will be right back at that altar, wondering if the other person actually despises him and he's been a villain this whole time.

[@smcd6101]

It was so heartbreaking watching this happy-go-lucky man reduced to tears and humiliated in front of the whole world. If anyone single-handedly shattered anyone’s self-confidence, it was Zanab IMO.

[@TriggerBud]

Eek! I'm so excited you've done this video! I just want to share my appreciation for your community posts. I love how interactive you are with your community and that you care about our opinions. It's so rare and so very appreciated. Keep on keeping on Spidey! You're fantastic! ♥️

[@TheBehavioralArts]

❤️ 🤗

[@kh-fl4pm]

I absolutely appreciate the honesty from Cole. He is someone you don’t want to ask stupid questions, that are needing fake answers that are only fishing for the purpose to boost insecurities. Having that type of honesty is much appreciated when there are real questions that are needing to be answered honestly. This girl was way too insecure for him. He is a gem of a young man. Poor guy. Hopefully he has been able to recover from her attempt at ruining him for the sake of her hiding behind her own issues. Hate that for him.

[@krisdavenport9413]

I have been eagerly awaiting this video since the survey! I watched the show and got the impression that Cole was a simple and straight-forward guy that said what he was thinking without thinking. It may have been part of the Cuties scene where I remember Zanab saying she never listens to [most] of what Cole says. That statement explained to me why she misinterpreted the Cuties comment in the first place and only heard "don't eat..." and then stopped listening. I also felt that the girls were blindly supporting Zanab's bachelor party accusation because she played victim to this non-event but she had true victim feelings from Cole's admission that Coleen was 10/10. Can someone pull real feelings from another event as a way to deceive? (Maybe just to deceive those without your analyzing skills?)

[@ErikaJadeLives]

Yes they can pull feelings from another event as a way to deceive!! 🎉 That makes for great acting!! So, I’m bad and feel extremely uncomfortable at lying. I know this… so when I was asked to play the game “two truths and a lie”, I adopted this strategy. 1.) I used details from someone else’s story for my lie 2.) I took emotions from a different memory and used them to be convincing I won and it was kinda a creepy experience for me

[@AiriniMustapa]

I loved your take on this. I hope the rest of the cast, esp Brennan, watched this. I think Zenab made stories to convince her fellow girlfriends why she is not into Cole and she (the victim) was all sweet the entire time. Truly someone who has insecurities trying to be all superior and blame others. I think this character is in grained in her. No therapist can change her perception, unless she accepts herself for who she is. I wish her luck. I wish Cole luck.

[@rubiirae]

I thought it's so strange when Zanab refer 2 cuties as a serving, and Cole has never met anyone with ED to pick up on any conversation related to food intake and portion size will trigger her insecurities and spiral into a manipulative, distorted mindset. No normal people would look at 2 cuties and go, 'yeah that's a serving!', Zanab clearly studies the nutritional labels on anything she eat and she need professional help.

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Woooow good call! That totally flew by me! Most people have no clue what a serving of cuties is. I didn’t

[@davinaowen9918]

You're on it! Who knows the serving size for cuties!

[@rebeccaglasgow1324]

Zanab didn't want to marry Cole but instead of bowing out gracefully, she had to make Cole the bad guy.

[@Ladyjane95]

First impression, I believe the guy. He is so amazed by such a flagrant lie that he is literally in disbelief, and the fact that he says no women were present at the saloon is a huge fact to support his argument that would be easily provable by talking to any one else that was there

[@XxGiO13xX]

this is one of my FAVORITE videos you have ever done. PLEASE continue to do Love is blind Deception videos.

[@TheMaskedChef7]

I noticed that crunch sound before reading Spidey’s pinned comment and also thought it’s intentional that was definitely added to highlight the awkwardness in the moment. good to know i noticed it correctly. Been learning a lot from Spidey’s amazing breakdowns and body analysis.

[@jenknight461]

Zanab was a walking 🚩🚩🚩🚩 right out of the gate in this season. Glad you did a video about it. The only one sabotaging her self esteem and confidence is herself. Were there some things that Cole could have done differently? Yes. Would any of that changed how this played out? No, because Zanab was the one creating most of the issues here. It didn't matter what Cole did or didn't do, she would have found a way to find fault with him, and until she gets in to see a solid therapist, she will likely continue these patterns into her future romantic endeavors.

[@ricanhavoc9965]

My only impression is that she set him up to "fail her" as SOON as she asked him to rate her. She made sure he wasn't good enough for her. Had to.. because she acknowledged that he's 1000% unfiltered. She suffers from self-sabotage and projecting and that boy dodged a bullet! As far as body language, the one thing I noted is her looking up when they were all together wasn't the same look up in your other 2 examples. The other 2 were more top right. That last one was like she was looking for words for her story.

[@saddlerrye6725]

As someone who's never watched the show, it was the "There weren't any girls there" part was what caught my attention. It's something soooo easily proved right or wrong, so why would you bring it up if you're lying? Also, the girls' story changed from Cole trying to kiss a girl AT the party to going somewhere else after the party, where 'he could've been doing anything'.

[@TheWhitepantheress]

This was great Spidey, thanks for another great video! I've had another great area open up where I can use things I learn in your videos, I've returned to stage performing after 22 years off in local amateur theatre and just finished the boy from Oz and auditioning for Les miserables, and body language has really enhanced my acting. I really like the very clear and well contextualised examples that you give. You also model lovely attitudes and values. Thanks for being awesome ❤

[@naturallyamused]

"Liars want you to like them in order to believe them." Seems so simple, but this blows my mind!! Also really good point that he had "confident denial" -- literally reaching out for anybody to confirm that he went out after the bachelor party, which would be EASY, but no one has anything. And you're absolutely correct that Zanab was seeing everything through a lens. The moment I watched that "rating" scene I knew they were never going to make it. A curvy girl can't be rated below a petite girl and not have it kill their confidence dead. That wasn't her fault -- but deceiving him at the altar, and lying about him getting a girl's number was.

[@emilychristine7059]

I honestly think zanab is crazy. I know that oversimplifying things but honestly she is a lot. I’ve known women like her before which is why I’m so sure saying that. I don’t think she’s a bad person, but I think she is HELLA toxic. Her ability to cling onto insignificant details and make problems out of them and even over exaggerate them to the moon and back is quite the skill she has. She is super pretty and could get a lot of men. But she won’t be able to keep them if she talks down to them and constantly makes them feel like they’re the asshole in every situation.

[@lisabrightly]

You're right but the crazy thing is he *still* wanted to marry her! I don't get it. I've had known some crazy men but at least I was sane enough to not want to marry them. SMH...

[@emilyreplogle]

Ok- the after the alter thing. Someone mentioned that neither SK or Bartiste moved or said a word. However it came out in the after the alter part of the show that both of them were serial cheaters. I think they froze and didn’t want to bring anything up because they didn’t want the spotlight on them with that discussion happening. Just my 2 cents.

[@TheBehavioralArts]

100% agreed. They don’t want to draw the attention of the angry mob

[@st8fromtheho0d18]

I am not all the way through, but I will say after seeing what I have so far, I believe whole heartedly thelat he is being honest and she is using a lie (maybe one she believes) to paint him worse in her own eyes in order to justify the way she treated him. She was BITTER about that Colleen situation & couldn't let it go... neither of them could...

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Listen. We have concrete evidence that you are a heavy weight champ of analysis since you caught onto the reminence of my cold 😂 sooooo I’m going to go ahead and lock in my position on this!

[@st8fromtheho0d18]

@@TheBehavioralArts 😍😍😍 THANKS SO MUCH!!! LOL!! I do hope you are feeling better & there are no more power outages!!! I can see this as this case even more so now that I know about the clementine situation 😳

[@daliaayesh6204]

YAY!! I love that you’re reviewing Love is Blind!! Please do season 4!!!

[@zoeymichael3966]

I didn't watch that show. That's not something I'd like to spend my time with. But honestly, your body language analysis is something I can't get enough from. Love, love, love it! 🙌

[@CoffeewithCarey]

If you enjoy psychology, this is an amazing social experiment. Of course I’m speaking as a matchmaker and dating coach so it’s right up my alley -but if human relationships are interesting to you, you should check out love is blind. It’s nothing like that networks show with the roses!

[@violaardin]

I would love for you to do more reality tv analysis! In this show, I was mostly amazed that Micah had terrible friends around her. Or did they just see something we didn't see?

[@TheBehavioralArts]

I think Micah needs to get rid of that blonde friend who is clearly jealous and conniving. However, remember that in the beginning of the series, Micah and Irina were laughing at other women’s sadness, once she got with Paul she was nicer overall but in the beginning she was also very mean. Maybe she attracts friends who are like her in some way

[@violaardin]

@@TheBehavioralArts Oh, that is so true. I totally forgot how "mean girl" she was in the beginning. You are on point with this one!

[@Laura.A.Y]

The current series is a good one to look at. I think Micah is full of sh*t 😂 Waffled nonsense. Making Paul answer first, just meant she didn’t need to say no. Then pretended she would’ve said yes!

[@TheBehavioralArts]

@@Laura.A.Y the only reason I don’t hate Micah is because I spent all my hate points on Irina and Jackie. I don’t often hate. I’ve analyzed murderers neutrally. But those two… ffffffff!!!!

[@chameleonstrikes]

​@@TheBehavioralArts I don't want to say too much for those who haven't seen it, but would love to know your thoughts on the Zack, Irina, and Bliss situation. Maybe I'm not a forgiving enough person, but if someone called me immature and vicious to my face there's no way they're even getting another date! It blew my mind how that ended up 🤯 The other situation that had me completely riled was Deepti and Shake, but that one was a pretty obvious read and fortunately ended how it was meant to.

[@angeliconda123]

This is the best cross-over of KZbin content ever. I'm so excited to watch this. 🤣

[@Carlabruni_ng]

Yes!!!!!🎉

[@katfromthekong414]

Awesome analysis! I think Cole's clumsy, sometimes painful to watch, honesty made her even more insecure about herself than she already was to begin with. Once that happened she got it in her head that he's the one putting her down, which actually he never did. I always believed his version of the story. And I think she pretty much broke him with her smear campaign. Poor guy.

[@alohafromalissa]

Question: do you think SK and Bartise were quiet due to their own "relationship flaws"? We find out after the show that SK was cheating on Raven. And Bartise had been pretty distant from Nancy after living together supposedly because he wasn't attracted to her. So my question comes from the thought that maybe they didn't have anything to say because they have been in compromising situations as well?

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Yeah makes total sense. Not trying to attract any of that smoke going around 😂

[@emilyreplogle]

COMPLETELY AGREE!!!!

[@suzeeabdelrahman6978]

Girl agree. All along, the guys next to Cole were the biggest deceivers

[@AikoFox]

​@@TheBehavioralArts 😂They didn't want any of that smoke! This made me laugh so freaking loud! This would make sense because I was seriously wondering why no one else was really saying anything and left Cole hanging big time.

[@eloise6197]

Praying before the wedding ceremony then humiliating someone 'you love'...... I just can't get over it. She needs prayer and therapy. Shame on the others for not being objective and mature about the situation.

[@GoWithDaFlowMo]

That part totally rubbed me the wrong way too... Prayer is a sacred thing, not something to use like this... To Cole it meant something... Shameless!!

[@erinsmith776]

Thank you so much for giving into all the begging pleading, and grobbling, and finally covering LIB!! Can't wait for more! This was so spot on to my impression of what happened, at the time. Lots of fun! Cannot WAIT to go over this season next. 😂😂😭😭😭

[@jamiesuzanne5781]

Now, after watching the whole video, I feel truly terrible for Cole. I appreciate his honesty through it all, even if it was something that might not be taken in the best light. It is so rare to find honest people who are also so truly caring and sweet. Too bad I wasn't on that show, I would have snagged him in a heartbeat!!!

[@mombear5116]

I JUST watched this reunion last night. As we start off this video, my initial "stance" may be summed up by what I said to my son, "I hope you never end up with a girl like that." Editing: It's difficult to unsee what I've seen to get a gut feeling on the interaction at the reunion. Also editing: Although my 11 year-old son was sitting right next to me, he also was playing Chess with his headphones on and said, "What?? Mom, I'm not even listening to whatever you're talking about." 😂 Yes, I did know that. And I LOVE that about my son!! I love that he is 'a boy' who doesn't trifle with silliness and plays Chess instead. And I will say that he also enjoys and loves his time with all of his girl cousins and our girl next door neighbor. He loves playing with cool chics (said endearingly, because he also loves our girl chickens). Agh, just saying, I have an aversion to killjoy girls who hate on sweet boys. Get a therapist. I did - so that's not a flippant statement.

[@mombear5116]

@@fidub72 I think I do teach my son accountability, by example, and in actuality. I also think Cole did take accountability for his actions and words, and I don't fault him for being incapable of taking accountability for Zaneb's distorted perspective. And perspective, imo, is what much of everything boils down to. Each of us are going to see situations and receive communication from our own perspective. Admittedly, I viewed their interactions from my boy mom's perspective - and while I know Cole is not "a boy" - it was painful to witness his joyful spark being extinguished by hypercriticism and I could appreciate his bewilderment and lack of knowing or understanding how to manage and respond to such passive aggressive behavior/questions/statements. I don't think Cole was equipped to navigate Za, because I think this was his first exposure to someone like her. It seems he might have been raised in a loving, thriving environment and we know Za lost both of her parents at a young age. That's traumatic. And shapes each of their perspectives. I think Cole, once things were explained to him, was empathetic to that pain. That's the best one can do. People don't know how impactful events are until they've been through it themselves. Marriage, divorce, physical abuse, mental abuse, the birth of a first, second, third, fourth, fifth child, infertility, the death of a child or miscarriage, abortion, quitting smoking, addicts in the family, losing a parent, losing a parent to alzheimers, neglect, an alcoholic parent, losing a spouse, being a single parent. What we can do, is have grace, for ourselves and others. Knowing God is nice too - because it is awesome to know you are loved so much. ❤🐻

[@danams4166]

This was an excellent video, as usual, Spidey! I watched the whole season and was shocked at the altar scene and the reunion. My husband is a TV cameraman and has done some reality shows- I know how heavily edited footage can be- but the vibes were off. Then when they showed the clementine replay footage, I knew my instinct was right and that Zanab was the liar.

[@NicolaMaxwell]

I have no idea why anyone would watch this type of show but Spidey breaking down behaviours, I'm in😊

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Lol yeah, I get it, but honestly there are several great opportunities to practice behavioral analysis with this show.

[@NicolaMaxwell]

@@TheBehavioralArts oh absolutely, it's fascinating. No matter what you cover. I'll watch❤

[@NicolaMaxwell]

​@@TheBehavioralArts Oh my goodness, we don't know😂😂😂 I think that girl made that up and she's playing the victim but hoped the cameras would have picked up for sure. Just a group of people in a drama bubble😳❤

[@LindaC616]

Same!

[@myel.23]

I was a psychology major, and I’ve observed many people like Zanab. She is insecure and lashing out at Cole by manipulatively bending narratives and misconstruing statements to get people on her side because she feels wronged by him for feeling so insecure. He has made a few immature statements, but that’s because he’s unfiltered in the same way a child is. He definitely did not mean to hurt her, but she’s clearly trying to hurt him because of how she feels about herself. Cole seems very genuine to me.

[@meghanc8887]

Remember that love is blind is also prone to totally editing super important stuff out. The specifically showed a scene in #2 season of Danielle being upset her guy was going out to party with the others, then showed a clip of her watching him intensely from the balcony. Then ONLY showed lines of her saying how she hated that he left her there to go party. EVERYONE went on and on about how insecure she is, how she's jealous, etc. After the season aired she got so much backlash that she finally told the whole story : she had just had an extremely vulnerable moment before they were going to go out, where she sat down with him and told him about some history of (abuse, S.A ? Something serious like that) and it worked her into a huge panic attack. That's why she spent the whole time crying in the closet. She had told him to go anyway to represent them as a couple, but also was just admitting that it was upsetting and panic inducing to be left alone after that. Anyone looking at this original episode would have thought she was batshit!t crazy. They SPECIFICALLY edited it to make her look jealous. And specifically cut out any notion that there was some sort of previous reason for her feeling that way.

[@CarmelQTful]

Sorry that girl Daniel needs major therapy.

[@fizzychizzy]

@@CarmelQTful She does. And I would second that i would understand why production would want to leave out the story entirely. Was she okay with them airing her sexual assault story. Did she go up to production to say that specifically. I feel like, if it is a story that is reoccurring, they will show it. Think of Zach and his mom being a stripper from the most recent season of the show. HOWEVER, if you go through a very traumatic experience and if production is unsure of whether it is appropriate to release it, especially something having to do with a touchy subject like sexual assault, they may not release it.

[@lesliesantos8595]

Yeah no one acts how they do for no reasom

[@meghanc8887]

@@fizzychizzy for sure she needs therapy and she said she has been getting intensive therapy after the show. She did say she wished they had aired the part about her telling a S.A stoey. She didn't say she wanted her telling the actual story to be aired - but that she had wished they had at least included the fact that she had just talked about something very privtate and very panic inducing and sensitive. It would have been so easy for the show to not air the story itself but to still keep the parts in there where she mentions to a sensitive story But they didn't,, because making her look like she's panicking for no reason is better tv. ... the audience has NO clue why she's suddenly panicking and they all conclude based on the way the scenes are cut that she's jealous of him going to the party without her (like the camera panning in on her at the balcony for extended long time of her "staring meanly/jealously" at him talking to other women below the balcony ,🙄) or panicking over him going to the dinner without her. That's not what it was over at all - but they cut the scenes specifically to look that way. And the audience gave her hell over it. It's not the first time they've cut things out to depict things a certain way or intentionally left out parts that would give the audience a better picture of who these people are. . I think her man is a gay anyway and so it's a moot point. But still.

[@meghanc8887]

@@CarmelQTful I never said she didn't need help. She said she's gotten lot of therapy after the show. And that the show has them under a lot of stress that brought back up a lot of past trama in her life. There's actually a few from the show that are sueing the show over unfair working conditions and saying how they were heavily pressured to be drinking all the time and were expected to go on too many pod dates - even after going days without adequate sleep or rest. All for filming. They said it put alot of the contestants under stress especially since this was already an experience that put a lot of emotional vulnerability on the contestants. Alot of them including Danielle felt that they were under a lot of pressure. They showed a video of Danielle and him together a while after the show and she looks really good and healthy....sometimes when people are under stress especially on a show that apparently didn't care much for their physical or mental health, it can cause people, especially those with trauma, to have panic. Danielle said she always felt in a panic on the show and it wasn't until it ended that that feeling went away and she felt she could just be herself with her new man and grow a healthy relationship..... She's not one of the people sueing but there are others saying they felt the same under the same conditions.

[@84Elenai]

As a person with an eating disorder, let me explain what is happening in that cuties scene: She doesn’t feel comfortable eating in front of him or any other people that are not her close girlfriends (because, in her mind, she is a 9 because of her body, while trained ballerina Coleen is a 10). That’s why she doesn’t say yes when he offers her a poke bowl. But then, with an eating disorder, you don’t want to go to dinner with a big appetite either, because you don’t want other people to see you can actually eat a lot. So what you do? You eat some fruit before dinner, so your appetite won’t be that gig. She has the attitude every person with an eating disorder has, and when you are in that place, and the other person cannot see that, and even comment on you eating some fruit, that becomes a big trigger. It can even change your prospective on what is really happening. Now, is Cole a bad person for not knowing that? Absolutely not! Is he the wrong person to be with her? Absolutely. I have been through a similar situation. I went out with a fun, silly, bit childish guy for a year and a half… eventually, he was always saying to me “oh, right, you don’t eat”, because I would cook nice dinners and then just taste a bite and not eat the rest. He was always making fun and poking at me, but in a very innocent way. My eating disorder became much worse during that time because of those triggers. When I ended that relationship, I felt like Zanab: it was him who made my insecurities bigger, because I never noticed I had a problem. Nowadays my ex and I are kind of good friends, but his new girlfriend has an even bigger eating disorder, I just found out (he told me that “she doesn’t eat anything but chicken and salad”, and when we organised a big party and were thinking about what kinds of drinks we wanted to buy for it, he told me “Oh, my girlfriend doesn’t drink. Not because she doesn’t like it, it’s because she wants to maintain her figure”. Now, I can see a huge eating disorder there, but he’s completely unaware. He doesn’t notice it. He sees a person who “Just wants to remain fit”. Now, is he a bad guy? No. A superficial one? Totally. Is he an enabler for that kind of behaviour? Absolutely. Yet again… you can leave people like that, as I did, without throwing at them the amount of s**t Zanab threw to Cole, because that’s unfair. Leave people that are not the right fit for you and let them figure out their flaws, when and if they want to. I explained to my ex how I felt when we were together, as I thought he would learn from it. He didn’t. But it’s not his fault that he’s a bit stupid, honestly. That’s my point. I hope this helps to see why Zanab was so triggered, even though I do not agree with anything she did afterwards (altar, reunion and lately on social networks).

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Wow. So beautifully explained and makes perfect sense. And her immediate passive aggressiveness when he asks if she’s about to eat two of those matches everything you’re saying

[@tracyaf6084]

This is the best explanation I’ve seen. I have a husband who sometimes inadvertently triggers me and it’s taken a lot of work to get past. I don’t think this young woman has enough insight yet.

[@Ravencef]

I think Cole dodged a covert narcisistic bullet. It was painful for him, but in the end, married life with Zanab would have been a lot worse.

[@realitytvtherapy]

As a psychologist who follows the show, I love your breakdown; thank you for all these examples. You are a true body language expert. For me, my curiosity is what's underneath Zanab's behaviors. She appears to have an anxious attachment style, so she perceives rejection and abandonment. And yes, Coles' earlier statements about being a 9 are what drive what therapists call her anxious/angry response at the altar. Zanab has suffered loss and rejection before this is why in a public forum she shames Cole. To your point she also wants the woman to back her up; I'm guessing as a child, someone didn't believe her. What else is sad is that the hosts don't protect Cole and blindly believe Zanab; it felt unfair to Cole. The cuties example is very telling.

[@StephanieSwan666]

Not so much a body language reaction as I'm really awful at that but more about the value of a lie in that moment and the ability to get away with such an enormous lie. If Cole did try to kiss a girl at the bachelor party wouldn't there have been many witnesses to this including a TV crew and he even, according to Zanab, told on himself the next day. Him lying and getting away with it at that stage seems virtually impossible and pretty pointless. Zanab is sort of in charge of the accusation. She brings it up and it looks like she has told the others about it so unless her accusation is challenged by others who were at the bachelor party or the TV show then she gets away with it. I don't think anyone else is going to challenge her directly and she could always say it happened off camera or when the other men weren't there. As weird of a lie it is I think it is Zanab that is lying because it just makes less sense for Cole to lie in the circumstances. He has already fessed up according to Zanab, it happened on a TV show when he was being filmed and he was with others or the women herself could even come forward. Finished the video now and just to add, Zanab saying that Cole isn't a bad person after him apparently trying to kiss another woman is one thing but saying this after him single handedly destroying her self confidence and basically attempting to coercively control Zanab according to her narrative is a completely other thing. I believe it is Zanab's dreadful inconsistencies that ruined her. How can you trust let alone believe a woman who claims that a man is a good and decent man that they love actually when they've simultaneously accused him of really quite dreadful abuse.

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Brilliant!

[@whiskybrush3219]

I am split on this one. My husband used to make all kinds of wild but similar statements, especially early on in our relationship, more specifically after we were married, that were purely meant to trigger my sense of jeallousy and give him a sense of upped desirability. I guess he felt validated if I got mad that another woman found him attractive and came on to him. Every single one of those times, the things that were said, came from a place of insecurity, and fishing for validation that he was wanted. Oh and they were always said while under the influence of a hefty amount of alcohol. It was immature and pathetic, but came from a true sense of insecurity. I can absolutely see Cole doing something that stupid under the influence, especially after the charged disdain she often displayed toward him, making an insult of almost everything he says, shrugging him off when he gets serious about meeting all of her family, her constant criticizing of him, his cooking, his general person.... I dont think it's a stretch for him to make an outlandish statement to get some kind of passionate reaction from her. And high blood alcohol level wouldnt allow his hippocampus to store those memories. It's not bright, but when someone is not in a healthy place, and drink a lot of alcohol, they can do incredibly stupid things.

[@smartmarketing173]

The scary thing is, she has no receipts; she just throws out these wild accusations and everyone runs with them. 😳 good luck to anyone dating her. She’s cold, calculated, petty, insecure, and vindictive. I’m stumped at why he was so in love with her, she was constantly critiquing him and was more of a mother figure than fiancé.🤷🏻‍♀️

[@Hummingbird25]

This was a very well edited analysis. For someone who didn’t even watch this season’s love is blind, you made it very entertaining and suspenseful to watch throughout 😊

[@katecarpenter6499]

SOOO glad that you decided to analyze this!! It felt like a public discourse that had a lot worth breaking down and setting things straight about. I honestly found it so contradictory that the way all of their scenes together had been edited made Zanab look like the villain who was constantly twisting Cole’s words, while everyone else in the show seemed to take the opposite perspective. It just felt like the show couldn’t decide which bias to run with. Bottom line: They both did serious damage to each other and a lot of what Cole did was careless and not considerate of Zanab’s feelings at all, but she projected so much bullshit onto him that was entirely her insecurities talking. I really do feel sorry for the situation with her parents, but I completely agree with your conclusions on what potentially happened behind the scenes between them.

[@reysquadron7820]

Hearing that Zanab lost both her parents is heartbreaking and probably a huge part of where her issues and insecurities come from. Definitely seems like she hears thing and takes it her way and it becomes reality for her. I hope she realizes this and gets therapy to help.

[@Blessedmommyuv4]

I watch this show & was definitely under the impression that Zanab was lying before I watched your analysis. After your analysis that is still my opinion. Zanab is a beautiful woman who is very insecure. We don’t know her whole history but her insecurity must come from trauma in her life. I hope she finds a way to heal from her trauma & she finds someone to love her unconditionally & put her insecurities to rest. I also hope Cole isn’t a bad guy. He just picked the wrong woman & I hope he finds a woman who is not insecure.

[@KimCarmenWalsh]

Ooof, that wedding was painful! I think Cole had a lucky escape though.

[@mamabirdie734]

Z premeditated burning him at the stake in the most humiliating way to do it front and center while his family, loved ones, and entire wedding party watched. That is cruelty and evil to the core. Cole from jump was an extremely playful, jokester, with a positive attitude and immature. But she accepted his proposal knowing his character. Then suddenly her extreme low self esteem needed constant reassurance and her unrelenting bear trap questions were always setting him up for failure, confrontation, accusations, and battle. She destroyed a part of his innocence and rose colored glasses by betraying him in a way he will never forget and for which she has not only absolutely zero remorse but worse was delighted by doing so in a final act of revenge. His devastation that someone he loved would purposely destroy him like that left a permanent scar and I truly hope he falls in love w/a woman who will reciprocate that love. As for Z as long as she is consumed by negativity, anger, hate, and insecurity she will never find happiness. Her perpetual scowl screams unhappiness.

[@overwatchking8842]

This video was a masterpiece! I’ve seen episodes of season 4 but hadn’t seen season 3 but the way you presented this felt like a mystery movie! I was on the edge of my seat. And you pointed out so many amazing things that lend so much context. I very much agree with your conclusion on this and it’s refreshing to see you actually lean to one side as you’re often so objective and in the middle. Wow 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻

[@charmedbymeghan]

Zanab LIED a lot in my opinion. I find her extremely frustrating and the way that other cast members went along with her (mainly the women) was also frustrating.

[@Sam-cp3ye]

This is so interesting to me because I do watch Love is Blind and other "reality series". I wonder if you're going to do more videos like these because I'd love to hear your analysis about what went down in Season 1 with Jessica and the reunions that they had.

[@KenLinx]

I'm glad I got it right before I watched the video. One thing I learned from JCS Criminal Psychology is that truthtellers are very adamant and vocal when they are confident they are telling the truth. I'm glad Cole dodged a bullet there; imagine living with someone as devious as that for the rest of your life. It'd be dreadful.

[@tangjy]

Thank you for this. The first time I watched the reunion, Zayneb’s calm and confident rebuttal of him, and the way he outright denied saying all those things seemed like he was gaslighting her. Yet watching this, at 28:00, the way Cole talked to Zanab’s stepmom … I cried for him. I hope Cole finds someone who deserves his sweetness and honesty, and that brings out the best in him.

[@kristianmiller1561]

You can see Cole cover his mouth several times because he really wanted to say some choice words to Zenab but he's too nice.

[@reidann70]

Cole had stated later on in the show that he and Colleen had nothing in common and he found it hard to have a conversation with her. He apologized at least 6-7 times to everyone for his comments about Colleen. Zanab also set him up at least 4 times, knowing how honest, boyish and young he is,. She knew that he wasn't going to say anything different and therefore was making her case against him. Does everyone forget that at the one group get together Zanab once again stirred the pot regarding Colleen and Cole causing Matt to want to break up with Colleeen and COLE told Matt that he had nothing to be worried about and that Colleeen was 100% dedicated to Matt and Matt had nothing to worry about. I think Zanab decided the minute he stated that Colleen was a 10 and she was a 9, that she was going to destroy him. She seemed annoyed with him 90% of the time!! As much as I think it is easy to get mad at these guys for making inappropriate comments remember Batiste also said he thought Raven and him would have made a great couple and others have said similar things. This is honestly something you should expect as they did grow connections to each other. You need to see their actions after the fact and Cole showed Zanab many times that he was dedicated to her!!

[@jclyntoledo]

Thank you! I was so lost how the majority of the audience was buying that Zanab was this poor victim dating Cole who was supposedly the insensitive asshole, like how?! She clearly was setting him up to fail the entire time. He was consistently apologizing amd saying how attractive he found her and she would dismiss it as "thank you for that display". He tries to cook her a nice dinner and she nitpicks and takes over then complains. It was almost always a lose lose situation.

[@trinaneal9954]

I have not watched the show and I am reacting from part way through this video (when Cole is talking to the bride's step mom.) From what I have seen and heard it appears to me the bride is very insecure. I noticed it from the moment they met, she was very guarded and unsure to start. It also signals insecurity to me in the fact she asked him if he found anyone there more attractive than her. She may love him but her insecurity is not a match for his blatant honesty IMO. She needs someone who will put her feelings above honesty. I have a strong feeling she is the one lying about the cheating. I imagine this scene at the wedding didn't go as she planned. She tried to paint him as a monster and herself his victim. What I see here is her family sympathizing with him. I have a feeling she got some backlash from her family and the reunion became an opportunity to try again to paint him as the problem and her as his victim.

[@ViolAM3]

I also wonder about how her stepmom went to console him. Tells me her family is aware of the crap she pulls and were so embarrassed and sad for him. I think the “dad” adjusting his jacket reads as “Aw shit. Zay, not this crap again”

[@Stormy575]

I have watched the show and you are dead on about Zanab's insecurities. She showed them right at the get-go, and Cole never picked up on it astutely enough to be more reassuring. This is the first time I really saw the reaction of Zanab's family to her speech at the altar. The impression I got was that they were seeing a side of her that they know and aren't comfortable with, and probably that they were hoping wouldn't come out. I always thought it was very telling that her stepmom went to Cole to console him afterwards. They clearly know her, and their actions told a lot.

[@user-zd7cc5xc1s]

You should watch the whole show becuase you will see her passive aggressiveness and manipulative, gaslighting behaviour from get go. Cole wasn't perfect but he did apologise and try to mend things with Zaneb. ZANEB never apologises or forgives him for his mistakes.

[@nyangweso]

No one secure in themselves would ask their partner to rate the other girls. Why would that be a thought in her head unless she was excessively comparing herself to the other girls and then went to Cole for confirmation? I don't think she expected him to actually confirm that she is less attractive than the other girls (in her head), so that caught her off guard. Here is where Cole's unflinching honesty tripped him up. Zanab needs someone prepared to enter her delusion (like Brennan does with Alexa). Cole lives too much in the real world for Zanab.

[@therockhub6020]

I remember watching this and sensing that they both had learning curves in this experience. Cole absolutely made some doozy mistakes that I feel would be challenging for any woman in that situation. However, I really struggled watching how Zenab treated Cole. I felt that she kept lining him up to then degrade him in a way that could really mess with him psychologically if he had made the mistake of marrying her. In the final episode I felt that Cole looked pained / hurting as if he had spent time processing what happened. Zenab just looked more justified in all that she did, which I can’t agree with. Just based on the fact that I think that she could really learn from mistakes that she made as well. How she contributed to the relationship (or took from it). I felt sad for them as there was so much promise between them but the mistakes they made really turned things around in a negative way.

[@sammyflc]

Great analysis as usual! I had always wondered about the 'reality' of reality tv, but you are right, it seems that there are real people and stories, which are carefully guided by the producers. There is a great podcast by two former contestants that provide some context to how the show is edited - they said there are some contestants that get 'edited' in their favour.... I hope you analyse more of these seasons!

[@dklem97]

I wonder if Zanab’s accusation would have even came out if Raven didn’t mention it. 🤔

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Meeee toooo!!!!! 💯

[@FreeTheTrolls]

Well, she was a full of accusations so it’s likely she would have deflected to the weight issue, etc. She’s a classic narcissist (IMO!)

[@kmbh4813]

More videos on LIB from you please!!!❤❤❤ absolutely love your takes

[@cheesecake8094]

Ok I had to pauce real quick bc I DIED when Spidey made that backstroke joke 17:49 😭😭🤣🤣 I couldn't agree more👀

[@noraconnelly2584]

Hey there Spidey! I'm so glad you covered this. I watched this series of Love is Blind and I COMPLETELY agree with you 💯‼️🎯 Cole is a genuine soul. He doesn't have a deceptive bone in his body. He says what he thinks. He's a little goofy, funny & real, to a fault. Lol! I agree, throughout the show, his immaturity came out. ("Open mouth, insert foot" moments Lol!)🤦🏻‍♀️ He tried very hard to have a real connection with Z. However, Z has ALOT of issues & insecurities within herself. It's clear she's carrying around of trauma from past relationships (her wounds haven't healed). Any time Cole said anything less than what she deemed as appropriate, Z would speak down to him. This happened SO MANY TIMES! It was cringe to watch it. She needs counseling and work on healing herself before pursuing a love relationship 🎯. Z should never have been allowed to be a candidate for this show... She tried to control his actions, his words & when he didn't meet her expectations, she put him down. She even did this to her step mother's husband who walked her down the isle. Did you catch that? She was telling him what to do and when to do it. It was a telling/confirming moment for me. I don't think she realizes how she is. #blindtoit Z is a beautiful woman and has alot going for her but her heart needs healing. 💔💯😟

[@mary-janereallynotsarah684]

Wait, her stepmom's husband is not her dad? 😆 I haven't watched the show.

[@noraconnelly2584]

Lol! No, he's not. Both of her parents passed away. 💔

[@CoffeewithCarey]

I so enjoy you acting out and verbalizing the internal monologue that may accompany expressions and postures. It’s always exactly what I hear and would say. Also despite being last season of LiB, you ducked me right back in to the Cole Zanab drama. I love how you cover pop culture and current events!! Not sure why your friends can’t find interesting or topical body language to analyze, but I had to unfollow them due to boredom and lack of interest.

[@Lizzypoohxo]

I've tried watching this show without commentary and I can't do it. Reality tv isn't my jam. But, I have watched a few KZbinrs analyze and react to it (sixteen Leo being one of my favorites, Logan of Observe also does a great job covering it) and it's golden entertainment. This is going to be great!

[@KKC2-o3z]

Here's my opinion. If the producers didnt edit in when Cole supposedly said this to Zanab...i can't believe it happened in the first place. It would've created so much drama for the show, which is exactly what they want. I dont see the show missing an opportunity with something like this. Btw, i dont even watch this show, I'm unbiased as can be. I agree with your take on all this, Spidey. Great job!! I'm intrigued now lol. I'll be marathon'ing this series soon..😅

[@crystalduguay3519]

I did watch the show. I 100% believe Cole. Always have, and I love the breakdown you did about what happened at the reunion. If Cole had done something the night before the wedding there would be video proof, something. Look how easily they got the "cutie " scene. Also I would just like to note that Zanab was the one to bring up a rating of body type when Cole rated her a 9. She pushed that conversation. Cole was just being honest. After seeing her true character, I doubt he still rates her so highly.

[@alexandermagyarics8345]

The gentleman next to her stepmom is trying to look away from the crowd with a thought like: "You gotta be kidding me!" or maybe "Here we go ... again." ?!? :-)

[@hez01]

I love that you analysed this and I agree 100% with your thoughts! Will you analyse the live reunion for this season maybe? I feel like people are almost embarrassed to admit they watch the show, so when I find someone that does, I can't wait to talk about it 😂 So I really appreciate this video 🥰

[@feonixk5421]

First time watcher here! I knew I saw you somewhere before and as I was watching I now remember that I'd see your magic specials at the guzzo theatre during the previews. That was a long time, several years ago! Happy to see the progression of your career. Love this!

[@TheBehavioralArts]

Hahaha wow that’s going back. 10 years roughly. The good old days

[@ml8067]

Yet again we fall for Spidey's mentalism tricks.... he got us to be completely drawn into a show that a lot of wouldn't have even registered on our radars. Another great breakdown and analysis. Love what you are doing, the content, the guests etc. Keep doing what you are doing!

[@charlottekeller8448]

I watched all these shows and this was the hardest one to watch because I didn’t believe her at all. I couldn’t put my finger on it as to why but her body language (for me) spoke volumes. I’m so glad you confirmed this for me.

[@rebeccaglasgow1324]

Zanab was so critical of everything Cole did. The Cuties thing was so blown out of proportion. If she wasn't eating that was on her.

[@linchen5430]

Loved it! Thank you for sharing. The best thing that could happen for the two of them, is that Zanab said no at the Altar. It‘s best for them to go their seperate ways ❤

[@davidshareefChTPhD]

I'm a professional magician and Mentalist and I've been on a couple of TV shows with you Spidey and also I should mention sorry for the run-on sentence LOL I have a PhD in Psychology. My analysis is that Cole Dodge the bullet on this crazy lady lol

[@alicebennett7998]

Absolutely brilliant... I was really excited for this one ... Thank you so much for putting this together 😊... Please please do more of these I will absolutely binge watch them all 👌