Why Is It So Painful to Be an INFJ?

[@minimalisticjoy628]

It’s like, I can be other people’s soulmate but nobody can be mine. If that make sense.

[@nh-ko9sp]

Yep

[@simonacastellese6317]

It totally makes sense

[@davidw5532]

Very true!

[@danil.6667]

Wow yes 😭

[@shemcg7830]

💫✨ “That’s 🕳 Deep!” 💫✨

[@akferren1]

I always felt like I was dropped off on the wrong planet

[@SibyllaCumana]

Same!!

[@aprilpambianchi9888]

Me too, I have always said I think they accidentally left me here and I want to go home….😢

[@zelimamata]

@@aprilpambianchi9888 , did you also went to a field and started call something to take you away to another planet?

[@havefun3470]

I'm everyone's best friend but nobody is even a friend of me. I'm tired of one sided relationships. Idk my personality is such that i keep falling into such dynamics. It's hella painful to be INFJ :(

[@pinky6226]

I know how it feels, It happens to me too... I hope we both reach a better dynamic on day

[@heatherparker9820]

I understand

[@chanisecarvalho5869]

Yes it's painful

[@redefinedliving5974]

Thats why its necessary to develop Ni and Fi. Know your own needs and standards. Then improve blindspot Te asserting and executing them. See how you lose all your friends in no time 😂

[@franzjosefmueller-alban509]

It just “our” perception… You stop searching / needing / wishing when you realice that “ you “ are the only best friend you’ll ever need. Regards

[@prschuster]

People have a very superficial understanding of me. They see me as an off-beat person, but they don't get my actual view of things.

[@Coneman3]

I think we have the purest minds and hearts. Other types have various behaviours which are alien to us, and we get misunderstood all the time because no one believes we are just who we are. They think our kindness and authenticity is weakness or stupidity.

[@SibyllaCumana]

So very true!! It's frustrating to be thought stupid when we are caring and don't like to undermine people so we underplay...

[@fredv3043]

Or manipulation :/

[@emc7405]

It is so painful. Tears in my eyes as I even watch this video. I am often wishing, daily, that I was NOT an INFJ - it feels like a curse at times.

[@SomaKitsune]

I feel you. It's both the best and worst personality type simultaneously. I feel like Gollum, hating and loving being me equally. Often, paradoxically, for the same reasons.

[@christiandavis8291]

I almost cried too. Wishing the same thing.

[@TheGuyWhoCantPickAName]

But that’s when you remember that we got some of the strongest grit there is so we can turn any curse into a blessing

[@shawkitty2524]

Totally agree.

[@arnoldLawton]

💯💯

[@Rollwithit699]

So true. I sense the mood of the room...who is in charge, who's the entertainer, who's the demanding person and/or the narcissist, who's shy and uncomfortable, who's having sex with whom or wishes they were, who wishes they could leave (that's always ME!) It's like they're wearing a sign hanging around their neck. So surprised no one else sees all this.

[@vespereer8450]

I think people can see others at the surface level but it's not something that takes front and center in their focus. Most people are preoccupied with their own motivations to be focused on trying to truly see others. I can even say that an INFJ's preoccupation is on reading the room and the people in it even if it's something that comes naturally for INFJ's. So then what is the INFJ's motivation for wanting/trying/needing to read others?

[@NatalieDuby]

I've had so many people make comments to me like, "I feel so comfortable around you" "Ive never told anyone this before..." "You're so understanding " "I love your energy" etc. And sometimes I don't really know what to say, although it makes me very happy to know someone feels that way in my presence, but very rarely can I say the same for them. I almost feel uncomfortable when I'm told that because I wish I could say the same to them but I can't lie and say i do. I just don't so that. I wish I did feel the same

[@akferren1]

LOL yes to all of this.. I feel like everyone’s therapist. People always tell me stuff or how safe they feel with me

[@chrislim7976]

I'm tired of people telling me things. I care but don't want to know anymore. It leads to nothing.

[@VickiWells]

We are rejected by everyone! It is our greatest strength to know and live in one being a whole number. Maturity is becoming peaceful in the oneness and the solitary life. Genuine altruests. I still love to help people but I am at peace that no one can give back that support and I only look to The One who designed and created me to be an INFJ to do so according to His purpose. Peace and joy in this with abundant life! 💖

[@rossphillipgerard]

Then you must end the rejection in yourself of others to fully conquer rejection and understand it.

[@mikaylacole4498]

“I feel like an alien” is something I’ve said daily to myself for a few years now. Im thankful to have found this channel

[@sharri5412]

I realise I attract broken people who need healing. People are able to get their needs met by me but when I need something the same friends and family expect me to beg them. I am also an aries and its even harder to be. I spend most of my time alone. I wish I had 1 friend I could cry on their shoulders, who will be there for me before I an desperate. At 36 I started learning how to deal with lower emotions and anger with the help of a therapist.

[@JohnK777]

I am so desperate to find another INFJ to connect with..

[@memyself2630]

Same!

[@kalinadesseaux8011]

💯 "your actually surprised that no one else can see it"

[@aliciagoldsmith6294]

It’s so beyond painful to be this way😞

[@AlmostSkeptic]

I can relate to some of these as an INTJ. When an INFJ/INTJ gets into this dark/depressed state, you just feel so lonely. Its the worst feeling I have ever experienced which is why I wish I was a different personality type.

[@frerr2]

It’s hard, being us! It’s nice to find so many people who have felt the exact same way I have all my life in this comment section. I’ve never felt like I fit in, or anyone gets me. I am highly observant and like many of you have commented, people can become attached to me initially but I never feel connected to them. It’s frustrating, lonely and depressing. A vicious cycle! I feel like I give a lot of myself to other people but they just take what I offer and can’t or don’t give me that connection I crave in return. Although it is lonely, I’ve grown used to solitude.

[@HajirIbrahim-wf6rx]

I can relate 💯 percent

[@fiction589]

I am Infj and I have one infj friend. She truly gets me, I love her, but infjs are special creatures. A bit complicated, not too easy going... So the rest of my friend group are mixed types, and I highly recommend befriending extroverted people. They can drag you out of your shell pretty well 🐌 my love is an enfj and i believe this match is the best, most stabile, loving combination.

[@julianre.2268]

It's so important to speak your thoughts, feelings to her. Even if you ar afraid of rejection.

[@MikiLund]

It’s a millstone around one’s neck while dragging an anchor 😢

[@mypov4343]

Turn your pain into joy thru self improvement. It's no secret that if you work on yourself, your life will improve no matter what your personality type. May it be so for you!

[@TreasureSeasons]

Yes, it's just right there in front of me and surprised others don't see it - yes, thank you - this was comforting.

[@mitzdalican6953]

Am an IFNJ too.. true it's so painful Especially when you burden yourself with so much responsibility for family and others

[@happinesschuma4022]

Carl Rogers said, "I am pessimistic when I look at the world but optimistic when I look at people." I`ve never related to anything more

[@nicksyoutubeaccount]

That's exactly it... I understand so many people, but nobody understands me.

[@mysteryluv1125]

I'm so glad I found your channel, Lauren Sapala! I'm an INFJ and have felt like an outsider my whole life.

[@arnoldLawton]

💯💯💯💯

[@tomwilliams6744]

Painful being an INFJ? It certainly is for me! With me it seems so hard and I can't comprehend why it's hard to connect with others and never mind trying to make friends. What I've notice is others are just OK with me while those same individuals really get into other people. For an example, at where I live, there would be someone in the Jacuzzi in the small courtyard and others would strike up conversations with them. When I'm in the Jacuzzi, people just walk by barely saying hello to me. This kind of stuff happens to me a lot at where I live and where I work. Maybe I'm to blame for my lack of social success. It's easy for me to be rubbed the wrong way by what others say. I have one neighbor who wants to be friends with me. Since I don't have much going for me, I had given him a chance. But now I don't like him. He says so many things that rub me the wrong way - constantly. He might be autistic or something like that. I try being sympathetic with him but I lose patience when he says stuff that's hurtful. Another thing is that I'm 65 and never been married. I had refused to just settle and get married so that I won't be alone. I had some chances of settling fairly recently, but I had refused to give in. I feel bad that I never had someone I really loved (except for when I was 16-17 years old). But I'm glad I never settled.

[@lukula2934]

Emotional pain is a part of everyone's life and most of it originates in our relationships. Some of us dedicate our lives to avoidance of any discomfort...Others can spend inordinate energy on finger pointing, thus avoiding responsibility. I'm not at all fond of labeling, but would be considered a mature male infj. I am now alone and learning to deal with that solitude in a much healthier way. Since my woman's passing I've come to see most of our "friends" as anything but...There is still plenty of pain, but much less suffering.

[@SynchroDiaries]

I so look forward to this. Your “You Are A Writer” course has been incredibly helpful in helping me realize I still have a lot of boundary work to do & just how much I had stuffed my feelings deep down my entire life. I’m like a newborn person now - welcoming the real me to the world, feeling fully, living on my terms in my time, and unlocking the doors that have kept my creative self frozen - and your classes have been an integral part of my awakening. I can’t wait to dive even deeper. See you in class!

[@HelpYourDogLiveLonger]

Lauren is the best!

[@samarpitadattagupta8193]

I am also one of those, struggled a little bit but GOD has shown or revealed the way out of it. Please friends trust on GOD. Seek help from GOD. I studied Gita and Vedanta and found my true purpose of life and now not at all focussed on my little sufferings but feel blessed.

[@aliciagoldsmith6294]

Do you have any more advice on this??

[@jackshoekeeper293]

I can’t get away from this INFJ no room for any more! I’m done with fitting in! I wish I was an INFP!

[@edasarah3098]

Do you think being an infp is easy? highest suicide rate!!!

[@susanhartman6356]

I love listening to you talk! Because you describe everything the INFJ experiences and craves so spot on. Looking forward to checking out this course-especially for the issue if overwhelm, and more.

[@Jearl_Black]

What is it like to talk to another? I'm 44 and it's my strongest desire to meet another and talk.

[@davidclarke10]

Very nice talk about infj trouble Lauren Sapala .

[@BigDGolf-23]

As an ISTP, I can relate to this to a degree. Everyone needs me, but I don't "need" them. I guess the main difference between us is I can tell them not right now without feeling bad.

[@scottschoen3362]

I don't find it painful. It is a joy to have the insights and faculties those less complete are lacking. I try to be independent from them as I know they'll usually fail to understand me and want to change me. It would be horrible being like them. Scott

[@lotemnagar6821]

You explained it really well. Thank u.

[@jamielawrence4749]

Yes, my most uncomfortable moment is when someone I'm not feeling safe with asks me "how are you?". I appreciate they ask, but I have no idea how I feel, much less how to say it to them :''D

[@shawkitty2524]

I’ve been in pain for most of my life.

[@Duk3Nuk3m85]

Please take me away from here, or let me be high the rest of my life...

[@Fay_YaYa]

I swear

[@amyb7823]

😂

[@kalinadesseaux8011]

Heyyyy it's *you!* It's so good to see you! Your intuitive writing course helped me so much! I'm still so grateful for it! I'm working on my writing privately, but I've definitely seen an improvement and I'm actually finishing things! I'm actually loving my own private work! Thank you so, so much again! ((I ah, I'm not sure you remember me but wasn't able to be part of the live course; I'd noticed something weird with your link back then)) it's so good to see you! To see you doing more courses 🥰 a lighthouse in this turbulent ocean; thank you, Lauren

[@jessicakim2511]

Yep. I'm always very misunderstood. It sucks.

[@Lola-mt1ne]

This channel feels right to me. That connection thing.

[@SshivamKhopkar]

OMG this was so relatable! INFJ too

[@CliffordRainwater]

I wanted to write but I have three learning disabilities, dysgraphia, ADHD, and Sensory processing disorder. I think the later stems from a bad concussion I had in 1987 so it was just to frustrating.

[@fairygodmotherflowerEternal221]

Heck yes beautiful chameleon. I feel so sleepy and somewhat hurt from all that at this point. Also , something about being invited to weddings I just realized. I feel like I know almost everyone so deeply it’s like I should be invited to every wedding out there re family , friends etc bc I have been there for everyone , all ages, all times. Somehow I feel deep, sacred comfort and yet a bit isolated after past 4 years of having 2 babies and stuff happening in the world. Thx ! I am gett8ng myself going with a KZbin channel too.

[@madhvishukla4332]

Thank you ma'am this video is very helpful for me

[@peakbagger7682]

Outstanding video.

[@fiction589]

If you do not open up to anybody, it is pretty logical that you dont feel understood. Isolation is something you create sometimes. 💕

[@sayagarapan1686]

Because to whom much is given, much will be expected.

[@DarkPriestessJae]

I’ve been typed as an INFP time and time again, but the more I watch your videos, the more I identify with INFJ. I know that there’s some overlap, but I’m having a hard time distinguishing the two.

[@chriscollins1481]

Holy smokes are you from Albion ? I am positive I am an infj and have been listening on KZbin for almost two years and today came across youre channel . :)

[@Justice-tk3dr]

Albion, NY???

[@borndeafin1ear]

How many male INFJs have you worked with? About 2 months ago (nearing age 50), I came across KZbin videos about the Sigma male and INFJs. These videos helped me to finally start separating what is part of my natural personality and who I am because of living my entire life essentially deaf in the right ear. Hearing has the biggest impact on the developing brain, but my defect is so rare, nobody understand it. These type of videos helped me realize that I am a natural INFJ, but part of me was created through my experiences living with 1 ear. Too many times have I been humiliated or reprimanded because I simply didn't hear something correctly. Now, I can begin to decide how to be my true self. My retirement will be filled with a lot of extra education, projects, and nature hunting with the camera.

[@recuerdos2457]

The moment I stopped expecting other ppl to understand me, I m free. It’s not that important if you think of it. Afterall, why spend all your precious time on earth to move a stone that you blocked your way?? Just walk around it and go forward, life is short

[@stevepeterson5943]

Another reason is that there are so many infj videos by people who are not, in fact, infjs, but mistakenly typed themselves as such. So the sad part, is that infjs will recognize that, along with a few others who know type very well. Even worse, is some are in the helping professions and even life coaches! To your point, we'll "see" them, but they cannot, or will not see themselves. Perhaps you could address this, in your videos. I think it's highly relevant, and becoming a hindrance to those just learning.

[@ngeee10]

I see this alot, I think those people just have insecurities and then label themselves infj.

[@SteveChiller]

yeah, I've met a few other "INFJ" ppl online. Was really no connection, maybe they aren't INFJ or maybe I am not one. I even got blocked by one after not even a day (a few msgs back and forth). He typed like an "INFJ" youtuber that I've seen a few videos of. I can't think of his name but just remember he made a video wearing a bunny costume. Was just a weird interaction. I dunno where Im going with all this. lol

[@olenapetrovych9636]

This woman doesn't look like infj or any IN type neither. I could see it immediately. Just desided to go through to see how many people can see it )

[@stevepeterson5943]

@@devra5186 hey, sorry proof of what?

[@adriaanjansens2335]

Thanks Lauren.👍

[@motionmuse5684]

A lifetime of pain, tumbling uphills.

[@angela_rodriguez]

I’m interested in the class

[@basv]

so much overlap between the autistic and infj experience. I'm both btw

[@nwbest4336]

It's painful cause we have these stupid rules for ourselves even when we were too ignorant to know we have them. It's not like we sat down and make up the rules, it's just in our personality. So overcoming those innate rules are next to impossible.

[@SibyllaCumana]

Being an INFJ sucks. I've been taken advantage of all of my life. I am a bit more cynical now, but my character remains the same

[@rick3747]

I am right there with you. Our very caring nature attracts narcs and other losers. I noticed this occurs a lot less since I hit my 50s.

[@SibyllaCumana]

​@@rick3747Thank you for your reply, I'm afraid that's very true although I still feel guilty even to use the word 'losers'. I've always believed everybody to be good to the core. Obviously wearing rose-tinted glasses has brought me nothing but troubles. It may sound like an exaggeration, nonetheless it's the truth. I guess we need to learn boundaries, even if it's against our nature

[@rick3747]

@@SibyllaCumana I learned later in life to be more of a realist. I find that typical Extroverts expect people to lie, cheat, steal and even purposely push some into this predictable behavior too especially when you have zero morals, ethics and values. We as Introverts almost always have bucket loads of morals, ethics and values which is why Extroverts especially ones in a power position get deeply frustrated when we Introverts do not lie, cheat, steal or do "normal" predictable behavior.

[@HoratioTalbot771_a]

In can be risky on the emotional level to connect deeply with certain people. I think this may be why INFJ's are wary of connecting with a variety of people . Gossip becomes a problem and then the police are called . Who needs it ?

[@henryprado3601]

I almost cry

[@Kcali111]

Infj, introvert, aquarius 😬 Lol

[@eliuribe2730]

Me too!

[@williamgadomski8207]

No man is an island, entire of himself...except an INFJ 😅 -John Donne (edited for humor)

[@susiebenson]

Thank you very much ❤

[@Peaceforall20111]

The best way I can describe my lack of understanding my own emotions. I have preferences , as we all do, but I truly just want what is “right” or. “Fair” that is what my core focus is in every second of my life. I think that is partly why I steugglebinsersnreidng myself but it is more because I don’t “want” stuff in the way others and this don’t really have any truly feelings.. whatever is right is what I want . Again I have thinks I like but whenever faced with a decision on my actions or my wants- I want whatever is equal or fair . One of the advanced mental puzzles working in. Curious others thought on how our desire for equality truly limits are ability to normal desires the most others . Again early infj theory

[@KoyomiMojo]

All of the things you mentioned isn't an experience specific to INFJs, but the ones calling themselves INFJs that feel very acclimated to people are most likely a lead Fe type (ENFJ/ESFJ) but are an introverted variant of that type. I fact, everything you were talking about applies directly to lead Fe, which is going to have a very different problem in life than an ENFJ or ESFJ. INFJs main struggle in life, just like INTJs, is with Se chaos; the thing happing in reality just around the corner that is about to topple all of your planning. The planning isn't Si planning (paying lots of respect to dates, times, addresses, phone numbers, and names), but Ni planning (a long-term vision of things). Its more likely for an INFJ, even the more extroverted ones, to not get that deep in with others in the way very unlike what you are talking about in this video just because they don't seem anything happening long-term. ESFJ and ENFJ main struggle in life is going to 100% be struggling with tribe vs. self issues; valuing what people around you value so much and doing so much for everyone that you don't really know too much about your own conclusions about life, and what you really think isn't totally developed outside of what everyone else thinks. Its almost like you find it difficult to seperate the two, and they can sometimes blend and become one thing. The giveaway is the relative balance with observations; where you talked about 'trusting hunches' (Ni) and weighing it against what you are seeing in reality (Se). Something interesting about lead Fe types (much like lead Te) is that they are processed extrovertedly. So, you are looking around at everyone and seeing what they feel and value (what matters to people) and going around exploring that all day but losing yourself completely in it, maybe even going so far as to abandon it to help everyone else. Not understanding yourself is the other half of the main problem that lead Fe will face in their life. INFJ and INTJ share 80% of problems because of lead Ni, and this is with Se chaos. Ni, or what you call a hunch, is quite literally the very thing an INFJ and INTJ will confidently stake the universe on. Lots of INFPs and INTPs think that they are INFJs because of the things you outlined in your intro, but nobody believes that there is someone THAT insane to REALLY stake everything on a hunch like that...No way...right? They aren't particularly rare either, and what a real INFJ and INTJ looks like would make you proud to be any other type. Lead Ni problems are perhaps some of the most embarrassing imo, and it doesn't really have anything in particular to do with other people. It has much more to do with the fact that you can't keep obsessively working on your grande plan because you are having trouble defeating the dishes in the morning. You are more likely to struggle with relationship problems because of ignoring things happening right in front of you while you plan to avoid something 10 years in the future thats probably not going to happen or probably not going to matter because of all of the Se chaos in between now and then. Its hyper ridiculous stuff, nothing to be proud of. Fe for an INFJ is used for checking the waters more than anything. They ain't tryna get caught! They aren't worried about people in the way that IxxPs and ExxJs are. IxxPs who think they are INFJs will be saying one of two things: If they are lead Fi: I'm awesome, I know what I want, I know what I like, but nobody understands me, everyone hates on/bully's me. Their main struggle is getting people on board with what they like, want, believe, and feel is true for them. They also might claim to be haunted by narcissists and bullies. Another main struggle is to make what you know is right work in reality in a way that works for everyone. If they are lead Ti: I'm awesome, i know what i want, I have great reasons for why I am the way I am or think/feel/believe what I base my entire way of being on. Their main struggle is to get other people on board with what they think or possibly know is true and perhaps even just seeing the value in it. They are deathly afraid of people not liking, hating, or seeing no value in what they've built, whether it be tech, their body, some kind of system, or a phiolosophy they live firmly by that t they think everyone else should too because its the right way (and they might be right since they take it gravely seriously to the point of staking their entire life and their reasons for doing anything on it. an INxJ, in contrast, can get what they want and what others want to line up quite well. And if they don't, can't, or are literally obviously to everyone including the most socially inept* and ignorant person could see that this person either went to sleep for 10 years and woke up yesterday or they've never been outside or used the internet before since the thing they are talking about has already been invented. Or perhaps its just crazy (like flat earth). Wanna be a flat earther? Almost 100% you are an IxxJ or ExxP. ExxJs and IxxPs look at real INFJs and think they are joking or crazy when they explain their life's problems. What an INFJ sees when he looks back? They either don't know because they weren't paying attention to that, or they don't think it matters because it fits into some box that they obsessively shove all information into so that they don't have to actually do Se. This avoidance of Se is quite literally putting off doing something for an unsightly amount of time just because you find it hard to expend energy to do necessary things to function. Its embarrassing, not "omg super INFJ laser beam psychic", until you see them 10 years later and they finally have something figured out that seems to work for them. The "what works for them" won't be what they value, what they like, what they think is awesome, what works for them, what they think is right, but it will include some of it as well as helping everyone else out as well in actual Se. The INxJs want nothing more than to see their Ni vision in actual reality. Its a vision thats clear to them the day they start working 10 years prior. Its as clear to them as an IxxP is about who they are, what they value, how they feel, how they think, what they want/dont want, and all the good stuff in life they want to see happening and working, but just of a different variety. We all appreciate you caring about everyone, but what good is it if you are incorrect? But also, what good is it to be right if it pisses everyone off/nobody likes it or sees any value in it? There needs to be a balance.

[@nataliebutler]

If I'm anything to go by, INFPs can see others in the same way.

[@rabzi1972ify]

I don't need coaching but I like to listen

[@10thtitanshifter22]

I just hope learning about being different is ok when I was younger. Maybe that would've change even a little bit of things right now. Being INFJ is like shaping your own just to fit, it'll soon confuse you and frustrate you. Feeling like you don't know who you truly are.

[@thecozyconstellation]

we're too deep and smart whereas everyone else is shallow and dumb. LOL

[@james12erby43]

Right 👏

[@juarawebcom298]

Yeah I am tired of mirroring!

[@janzkijowa7275]

I do not feel i am a "problematic" type or it is so difficult to being "me" as a personality. I personally think that i am very simple, thinking based on straight principles, taking care about others and the so-on staff you all know. I not have troubles to understand myself. But a different story is the lonley wolf, solitude is in fact a problem, althought... i am not responsible that other people do not want to make the effort or have the experience needed to understand me.

[@AL-dy1lj]

I was told I need to change if I am to survive in society because I come across as angry. It was heartbreaking to hear because my introversion is being completely misunderstood.

[@arnoldLawton]

Thank you

[@khouloudsultan9525]

I feel welcome thanks

[@rossphillipgerard]

Let pain give us the resolve to reach beyond the boundaries confined by those who are not us. INFJ

[@frantetro6728]

When I was young , relatives would tell me to just change the way I was . I didn’t understand how I could do that

[@Dagm1111]

I feel the most difficult thing is the yearning for romantic intimacy that hasn't been present most of my life. However, because of excellent teachers like you Lauren, there's much more understanding and hope to guide us through many aspects of life. Thank you so much!

[@okwatever3582]

Interesting video. I notice a lot of this about my infj friends and classmates. It is interesting that I would be asking about themselves yet they sort of misunderstand their own feelings and can’t explain it directly to me although I can see it just written on their faces and actions.

[@larapunk3532]

So we can say the "Fi critic" problem, also the excessive use of Fe

[@shaniquawhipple6413]

Yes I feel like I'm misunderstood

[@armanddimeo6575]

I test as an ENFP but am close to the middle on E/I but many INFJ characteristics resonate with me. Interestingly, my longest relationship was with an INFJ.

[@remhk6672]

When a person is giving and supportive and I reciprocate, that person eventually becomes cold and distant afterwards. Has any infj experience this?

[@daudbalele7406]

Codes are complex, E would satisfy F..here for INFJ 'I' leaves F alone..the struggle begins

[@markshishnia520]

What is with all the non-INFJ's here? Lol

[@m2pozad]

As an INFJ-A, I can honestly say I have no idea what this type of pain is about, always been relatively popular and well adjusted as far as friends. Insecure attachment from childhood family turbulence is a wound, but has been addressed and blossomed from. There is no doubt in my mind that there are many more out there who are capable of saying something similar.

[@markshishnia520]

Well if it is any indicator...MinimalisticJoy's comment has over 100 thumbs up and 16 replies and you have 5 thumbs up and one comment(mine). I have embraced and come to understand my childhood trauma('turbulence") and consider myself well adjusted but I still feel and understand the pain of being an INFJ.

[@m2pozad]

@@markshishnia520 This point is, before my comment, well adjusted INFJs were nonexistent. Now we are out there.

[@markshishnia520]

@@m2pozad I get that. Just making an observation, no offense meant. Thanks.

[@1594simonsays]

you were relatively popular because you were probably unaware of the consistent mask that you had on

[@christiandavis8291]

I’m an INFJ-T. I think that’s an important distinction. The T means we are full of doubt. I feel confident at times, and then doubt creeps in like a poison, and my entire state of mind dissolves.

[@Nikki-fx6yy]

To all INFJs out there: get you a ENFP bestie! Thank me later ❤

[@Jearl_Black]

Silly question....why does a skunk smell when passing by one on the road, make me fighting mad, and I don't get mad....

[@sashagalemcfarlane3320]

We are such chameleons sigh

[@jasmin1773]

How can I be more authentic and get more of this feeling of "belonging"?

[@joshuabouwman3593]

This sounds like subjective indulgence had a baby with astrology

[@swanzilla1982]

I thought this was an excellent video My life Spot on for many years Years ago if I was around certain people maybe a narcissist? Guess my brain would freeze up Years later I can remember everything that happened and said like I was dreaming the whole thing

[@Fay_YaYa]

INFJs need to meet up at least once a year.

[@Heyokasireniei468sxso]

no disrespect but wtf who said its painful perhaps when one is unaware but not even life opens up to us sure we have one hell of a dark night of the soul but the pain that you think we experience is what makes us feel alive the most we spend our times torn between two worlds and liminal states so sometimes pain is our anchor to reality

[@seansollars70]

Yes

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

This is me

[@Fool4Christ777]

Hi us

[@INFJ_Terez]

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[@Gogo_Barbie]

Infj and social anxiety video? 😬

[@ShenanGrossberg]

Why don't INFJs just connect with other INFJs?