Why Most INFPs FAIL at Being Present (And How to Change TODAY!)

[@erinbyrd5377]

I'm a terrible driver. I'm better now than I used to be, but there have been so many times where I've gotten lost or even had a fender bender because I was imaging something in my head. Round-a-bouts still give me anxiety. I'm also frustratingly clumsy, dropping things left and right. I think it's totally worth it for INFPs to improve Se for these reasons.

[@jarmoliebrand2005]

I've been having driving lessons and I will be switching over to an automatic car. It's just difficult to pay attention to the motions I'm doing _and_ traffic at the same time. I'll soon be continuing my lessons at a driver school that's almost solely for autistic folks like me (especially those who started out elsewhere).

[@JacowateHamaeran]

I used to live in one of the largest cities in Australia and I could drive real good after I had learned routes even in a truck with trailer. Now I live in the country and I am always getting lost because everything looks the same and there is no landmarks for my memory to cling on to.

[@av-sp1wo]

Still better than actually having a car accident because you just couldn't stay out of your head while driving on a motorway. Or could have been because I've been in a burn out or maybe both. Se trickster sucks

[@GeekPsychology]

I used to always think I was lost at a certain exit when I was driving to my dad’s. I’d pull over and call him almost at the same place every time. I’m grateful for gps now lol

[@SerendipityInTheSky]

Approaching life like a writer, thinking about how I’d describe each person or scene, is really helpful for me for this. As is bird watching.

[@Daeva83B]

Oh.. i'm gonna save this one... (gonna watch it later when i have more time) This is one of my biggest problems in life! (being present in the now) My head is full of thoughts and ideas that i quite literal forget that i own a body.. I only live in my head. (I forget to eat and stuff like that) And that i have a life in this world.. I don't care about taxes and forget about those things, until i get a fine.. you know? On this department i am really dumb.. i should... I should at least be on top of those things. I became single during covid, since then my life has been lived in my head.. I also quit my job, because i couldn't take it anymore, i did the same job for 2 decades.. i was done.. it was boring, it was pointless, i wasn't happy at all. And now i have this problem that i don't know what to do with my life anymore. Am i going to work for money? Am i going to stand up for things for that i believe in? (that means no money) Am i going to move to another country and try my luck there? But i also want to be free and travel and see the world (i know i that i get happy when i do those things, im always travelling, may it be in my head or physical, but i am travelling.) I am so stuck in my head.. its unbelievable.. And i already know.. one day i will wake up, look back at my life and think.. what a waste, i did nothing.. I need help on this department.. i need somebody who has a bit more developed Te and is more of a sensor type. I need a helping hand, i've been struggling with this for so long.

[@Huppol-l4t]

Thanks for your videos. I really enjoy them as an INFP and regognice a lot of it. Apart from overthinking and not being in the moment, the hardest part for me is not being able to sustain a relationship because of this. For some reason I am not able to fully commit to a relationship and this results in feeling lonely. I’ve had great girlfriends in the past, but I was never able to feel fulfilled and this did a lot harm. Would love to hear more thoughts on that subject as it is a big life subject.

[@VeggieJohnx2]

The kind of “being present” I prefer to aim for tends to exist in the interpretative realm, especially when it comes to reading the needs and wants of others, including a lot of what is spoken, but not explicitly. I want to actively engage and attend to what is being asked for to the best of my ability (but often fail because I myself am too preoccupied with my own thoughts/moods/etc. A constant work in progress.) I often conclude way-after-an-encounter, “oh, I could have done that better. This is what they wanted”. Or “whoops, I stepped on a personal landmine of theirs. Watch out for that in the future”. For me “being present “ means consistently asking “What are the things this person is asking for” (on multiple levels). I’ve also had In The Zone physical moments with things like playing tennis or hiking, where you are there fully present and engaged, yet simultaneously you are not there, in a moment of self-forgetfulness, unconcerned with the result, yet getting the targeted result. So I find that to be another kind of enjoyable In The Moment, Being Present mode of being.

[@GeekPsychology]

Constantly refocusing on the physical feedback and looking for small distinctions helps me, but I still struggle to maintain it for a long time. I don’t get in the zone with physical things :( not sure I’ve ever experienced it. I did get in flow when I used to play Starcraft though ^^

[@VeggieJohnx2]

@ Maybe with practice we level up our mana reserves for being present and getting out of our self-absorbed parts. lol.😂 Or it uses less spell points, becoming more efficient. I never played StarCraft a lot, but I did do high school tennis… so I did experience zone moments once in a blue moon. Probably doing things more in line with our natural aptitude gets us there more easily and frequently. Dario Nardi’s first book mentions Deep Listening gets the INFP brain into a zone state. I have experienced really deep feelings of connection when good friends have opened up to me, speaking of painful things they likely rarely speak to anyone about. But that is also infrequently for me, since I have a tendency to mostly keep to myself, not always being readily available for that deep level of social support and listening. (Work in progress to also be more available, while being present and not zoning out)

[@fionaclubb-jobsforhorses1287]

My relationship with the present is akin to a feeling of continually waking up. I fall asleep into Ne without noticing, and wake up into Se with a startle. I find it very difficult to stay in Se because it is a springboard for Ne, but if I shift into Si from Se, while I am awake, then I can get things tidied up before I fall back into Ne, leaving the present.

[@scottfw7169]

Ahh yes, sensory overwhelm, now, imagine having sensory overwhelm from being INFP ... *_and_* ... sensory overwhelm from being autistic ...

[@gavinsmith28]

🙏🏼

[@GeekPsychology]

Sounds rough. What’s helped?

[@OmaimaAL-Maqaleh]

My son gets drown to imaginary thinking 4 an hour daily not feeling a thing about outside the world .he is INFP What should I do? When he twice tried not to be pulled he got nose bleed

[@raytisan]

1:19

[@KJDogluv]

Go outside. Touch grass!

[@GeekPsychology]

:D it’d love to have a yard and grass to just sit on.