Why Narcissistic Mothers Hate Their Daughters? | How Narcissistic Mothers Show Hate (SABOTAGE!)

Why Narcissistic Mothers Hate Their Daughters? | How Narcissistic Mothers Show Hate (SABOTAGE)
If you are a daughter of a covert narcissistic mother and have suffered from narcissistic abuse, you are more than painfully aware that this toxic relationship is emotionally draining. In this video, I explain why narcissistic mothers hate their daughters and I provide you with strategies for creating a happy life in spite of the challenges in this relationship.
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DISCLAIMER: I am not a mental health professional and although I am giving tips and advice on narcissism and narcissistic behaviors based on my own personal experience, none of what I'm saying should be considered mental health advice. You should always consult your own mental health professional for specific questions related to your situation.
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Keywords:
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[@pandora-is-here]

When a mother stops loving her child. The child doesn’t stop loving the mother. The child stops loving herself.

[@NegativeMass85]

This is how I feel exactly. Thanks for finding the words.

[@gloriavalentine-zo5mp]

Just think of it as she's NOT worthy of your love, love from a distance in order to heal. We live in a sin - sick world, love from these kinds of people, I find is still very damaging bc I've seen the results in my family. Either they love you or they don't & you are better off bc the ones that were loved -- turned out stupid, evil, greedy ( bc they got more than you as a child & all through life) spoiled, pathetic etc... Because a narcissist really doesn't know how to love properly, they will pit you each against one another, lie to others behind your back, grin in your face ( so adolescent) see where I'm going with this? They're a LOT of Work just for YOU to love & you won't if ever get Anything back that EVEN remotely resembles love. I don't believe they know how bc they seek their OWN SELF LOVE. If you can't love yourself, you can't love others, bc what "they" give out & call love causes damage to those they DO love. They can keep it, I'm better off 📴. I've seen the damages in people who were loved by a narcissistic woman & it's not pretty bc these folks don't know what they're doing bcuz they're warped. GOD Bless.🙏✌️🕊️🙌😊❤️ They Aren't happy for one thing & stop trying to fit in. You don't, you'll be happier.

[@ZeCahli]

Absolutely.

[@julia1j1j1]

Yes, unfortunately that is very true.

[@user-ld4ur6lr5d]

Wow...sooo True

[@JustaGirlinCleveland]

As a “healed” daughter who has tried repeatedly to go back and have a relationship, it’s been my experience that the Narc Mother can undo years of healing in an afternoon.

[@Bronte866]

Don’t ever, ever go back. Never. Not for any reason. That’s my suggestion to try to keep trauma managed. “Healing?” To manage is a great accomplishment.

[@JustaGirlinCleveland]

@pageread1599 glad you found it funny. I myself find it extremely sad and disheartening.

[@ast1476]

@pageread1599 : *Sorry* , but there is something narcisstic about you, that doesnt feel good!...

[@JustaGirlinCleveland]

@pageread1599 awww hun, you don’t hold any power to upset me, lol. To find an unrepairable parental relationship funny isn’t being “truly healed”. You’re a narc lurking in the comments lol

[@donapaulen8700]

Yep. 100.%

[@1957HorseCrazyWoman]

They not only hate their daughters, but their sons girlfriends.

[@brooklyn3299]

AND…. their granddaughters 😟 when the son has children.

[@user-bx6xx6gz2r]

And their wives. If the grandchildren don’t cater to her, she hates them too.

[@catleaxmas5416]

oh god I swear to god. my mom is narcissistic a mother and she hates me, my fiance's mom is also a narcissist and I am sure she hates me

[@jodizellmer994]

They'll hate any woman who is secure and can accept themselves for who they are, or threatened by anybody who can expose them for who they really are. What they don't realize is that they are their own worst enemy, and slowly expose themselves.

[@Marsolan]

And son’s wifes

[@kelligagnon8569]

When there are two daughters of a narcissistic mother and no sons, the narcissistic mother will choose one of those daughters as her scapegoat and the other as the golden child.

[@Jesuslovesmethisiknow712]

that is true!!!!

[@jenifersheeley4681]

Wow this is so true in my situation my sister is my moms golden child I've not seen or talked to my mom in about 4 yrs,but when I did talk to my mom she couldn't get along with my sister and I at the same time she either was cool with me and fighting with my sister or vice versa.

[@BrandiCree]

Yes..when I was a kid until I was in my 20's, I was the golden child. But from the time I was 30 up until now (I am 42), my sister has been the golden child. 😢 She treats me awful but my sister is a God to her!

[@user-rs5yu3ce7h]

exactly what happened in my family, and still continues though my sister and I are in our 60’s. I moved away and my scapegoat sister stayed and continues in the very sick relationship. My sister is a narcissist too. It drives both crazy when I tell them they have to work out their relationship and leave me out of it. Too much drama. They now know that they can’t rope me into their battles.

[@user-rs5yu3ce7h]

@@BrandiCree When I moved out of the country to travel my own road, my narcissistic mother told me I was no longer the favorite, my younger sister now was. I told my sister I was sorry for her. I went my own way, as did my younger sister.

[@lizzyrodriguez84]

I grew up with a narcissistic mother. I had to leave my house at 15 years old. Everyone in town thought she was amazing, and she convinced everyone that I was a terrible kid. Then God blessed me with a beautiful daughter and I love her more than I thought I could ever love anyone. She’s 20 years old and still lives with me. We have movie nights, she sits with me every evening before we go to bed to just talk about our day, she’s the most amazing kid. 🥰❤️

[@DailyCorvid]

Maybe it's time she moved out though ... 20 years old kid, that's cool you both connect but wow she wants to be getting married soon and putting her own house together. My dad is the narc, I couldn't wait to move out was out by 16! Hope your daughter can take all that love you've been giving her and star putting her own life together now she's an adult. I wish my mum watched movies lol she's fairly blind so lost interest in them, but that's a cool thing to share. Have fun you two :)

[@reemafarhat122]

This gives me hope. I think subconsciously having a narcissistic mother impacted my ability to be intimate with my husband and I feel scared if I will be a good enough mother . I hope I can build my own family soon .

[@DailyCorvid]

Your child will no doubt be more than happy to give you all the instructional advice that you will ever need :) Best of luck friend, sure you will make a fine parent and child team.@@reemafarhat122

[@earthgoddess4779]

Cycle broken! YAY. Bless you for achieving and doing that 🫂✔️

[@timothymsupreme]

Congratulations for breaking the cycle!

[@bosslady7611]

To all the daughters who have been scarred and wounded by narcissistic mothers.....keep your head held high, even in the midst of your darkest days.

[@nolaflav3637]

❤️‍🩹💜❤️

[@CaseyAvalon]

Thank you. ❤

[@entrtnmnt098]

Sure♥️

[@peachesandpoets]

Thank you. I hope I'll stop crying one day

[@CaseyAvalon]

@@peachesandpoets you will honey. ❤️

[@railwaychristina3192]

8 years no contact. Aahh the sound of silence

[@roohatheema4704]

11 years no contact

[@susieq2334]

Just reached 5 years in May🩷

[@YvonneMobley-uq1tl]

It was the biggest heartbreak of a lifetime when I discovered that I couldn't trust her as well as that she never loved me. Absolutely devastating!

[@teresacroft7409]

I feel for you. Been thru the exact same thing. When I got to be in my late teens I realized this. It is the most powerful hurt you can ever go thru, realizing your own mother doesn't love you, only despises you and hopes you struggle and suffer. The pain doesn't lessen or go away.

[@nicolesmith1805]

I just found this video and going through the comments and I found myself in this one and so many others. After over 30 years building up to the realization that my mother is a narc mother toward me but not my brother. It came to a complete head in December after building for many years. I feel better not having the constant harassment and meanness from her, but it still hurts that this the case of it all.

[@kathysmith]

I know how you feel. I'm experiencing the same thing 😢

[@jodiehoward9399]

Yes, I know what you, mean. Iam really sorry...

[@MaryB-tx2xq]

I also found it more difficult because my mother used to ‘love bomb’ other family members (cousins, her friends and aunts, I had no siblings) so they all thought it was me being horrible to her. She sought sympathy from everyone by putting me down

[@Nova-cb3fv]

As a child, I noticed how other mothers treated their children, totally different to what I was stuck with. Rough for a child to learn your mother is a monster.

[@ZFern9390]

I'll never forget around the age of 9, I had the apifany that my mom is VERY different from my friend's mom's. I realized this was going to be bad. And it has been. I'm 55 and it's been a rough ride. My mom is now 83. Best of luck to you. ❤️

[@gloriarangott8803]

Yes it is, even passively

[@aldonachesney2468]

I completely understand because I felt exactly the same way!

[@CamMcB]

I recognized that by age four and did not understand what I was recognizing when I asked my mother in front of my dad if she was my wicked step mother

[@ellenbrown579]

@@CamMcB what an adorable kid you were! The confusion of unwarranted mistreatment is a real mind f, especially for a little

[@lesliedavis4366]

A mentor asked me: if your mother wasn’t related to you, would you be her friend? That gave So much clarity.

[@user-sv5on5fj2q]

Love this! Probably helpful for many people to read and ponder. Thanks for sharing.

[@shecreates365]

It's sad but I wouldn't be friends with my mom and esp not my sister.. It's sad

[@milo-1001]

Great question!

[@pearlpicker2174]

That question was an eye opener for me also. Between both my mothers and mine, and then I had to ask does my daughter want to be friends with me?

[@ritahemmerly4224]

When I said I loved her she replied "I certainly hope so I'M your mother" Like that entitled her to privileges'. Then I realized she was right, if she wasn't my mother I would have kicked her sorry ass to the curb a long time ago 💣.

[@lucyszoocrew6037]

I knew she was "wrong" before I even started school. I was 4 and knew I NEVER wanted to be like her. When I finally walked away and stopped all contact it was the HEALTHIEST decision I had ever made for myself. I don't hate her. I don't love her. I just feel absolutely NOTHING for her, one way or another. But I'm a much better me now for closing communication lines than I ever was before.

[@annewoods3528]

My mother's pathology was epic. It was relatively obvious to realize I had to stay away from her. What wasn't as obvious but equally important to realize was the harm done by the enablers, those who invalidate the victim's reality and perception. I cut off my entire family. It's the single best decision of my entire life, a gift that keeps on giving.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

😢 I’m so sorry, family of ALL people know what’s going on. I know my family doesn’t like my mom.. and I realized that why I felt disliked. I was just an extension of her in their eyes

[@nikkian9254]

I've been going through counselling and on thinking about forgiveness and what it means to forgive my mom, I realized I need to also forgive those who have enabled my mom's behavior or minimized my feelings. Because I have this deep anger I'm healing from now and this anger is also towards those enablers:/ For the times they laughed with my mom when she made fun of me in public, for those who tried to tell me to go see my mom more often >>, for those who I felt disliked me in some way because they disliked my mom:( ... I told a friend one time about my trials with my mom and her response to me was something a bit like 'but do you have victim mentality?' It was the first time I had really reached out to a friend to share and I felt completely invalidated. I haven't shared with her again and mostly keep things in counselling.

[@TaDarling1]

Amen 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@stitchinnbitchinyall9511]

I blamed her for nothing and forgave her of everything!

[@mickey5779]

​@@nikkian9254 So sorry you had to go through that. That person clearly isn't a friend. People like that have no clue n'or concept of what it's like to be in your position. Not having a "victim mentality" is your call, not theirs.

[@123gozane]

My mom has always hated me. Now everyone in the family does as well. It's hard because you are on the outside looking in at the train wreck you narcissistic mother has created..

[@offgridjack5779]

I know this sounds hard but be glad she does and it's obvious to you. It frees you to not stick around to be her whipping post. Trust me!!

[@cherylbaker4854]

Same here my mother has turned my whole family against me

[@marcietorrence5361]

Omg, that happened to me. My mother died at 69, I thought all the mean treatment would end, but my sister made sure I was kicked out of the family, very painful. Then my son got into medical school and my brother and only one out of 3 sisters called me to congratulate me I did not hear a peep out of the other 2 sisters.

[@AnetaBir]

same...sending love.

[@MixiBerri]

Girl same.

[@vga3245]

They are jealous of the youth and beauty of their daughters.

[@robertafierro5592]

My mother always called me ugly. Everything about me was ugly. I can't tell.you the amount of damage that did to me. Twice she thought she was on her deathbed and both times she didn't want me there. I tried and tried to have a relationship.with her.

[@dawnjohnson3893]

This is so true ! My Mother used to call me a hussy when I dressed smart and asked me if I was mad because the art I created wasn't run of the mill amongst a mountain of other things...She tried to cause trouble between my cousin and me also...When I was at college I ended up in a mental hospital for 2 weeks because of her...Her words and actions were so detrimental it tipped me over the edge...She showed absolutely no love or effection towards me whats so ever ? I always felt like I was the bain of her life because she had to give up her career to take care of me ?She was told that she must allow her teenager to be a teenager , she said she didn't agree ? I went to see a spiritual healer in my 30's and she asked me what it was between my Mother and me and I said I hoped she could tell me ? It was she that said my Mother was jealous of me...I wrote my Mother a letter in my early 40's saying I wanted to be free from her...She didn't write back...Had a few birthday and Christmas cards from her in the beginning...I haven't seen her in about 14 yrs and my soul feels so much better ♥️👌

[@esotericsolitaire]

Absolutely.

[@esotericsolitaire]

@@MJ55701 I had to start getting my mail elsewhere. She would open mine rather than handing it to me sealed.

[@IvonLopezArt]

Yes

[@suzeheidt8358]

I ended the relationship between me and my mother. It drove her insane. Before she passed, she tried to reach out to me. I refused

[@claudeleto324]

Ely, release the hurt, the resentment and when the nightmarish memories flood back... CALL ON THE VIOLET FLAME, THE VIOLET FLAME TRANSMUTES ALL HURT, ALL PAIN, HAITRED. THE VIOLET FLAME IS FREEDOM & COMPASSION. You can find on you tube many meditations, one of my favorites called: I AM FORGIVENESS, with the perfect visualization, spheres with wings that can reach any situation, crossing time & space. The violet flame is both Love & Healing. It can even help with the elementals of air, water, fire and earth. Hatred and resentment are indeed living beings made out of energy (just like we are) and with everything we see across the news and social media, all elemental life is raging, it explains the natural disasters. But we can help ourselves and help all elemental life and sentient beings. They don't have the power of the spoken word as we do. Call for your healing and freedom as well as their healing & freedom. If you give this a try for only 6 months, I promise you will notice changes in your life. Every day 30 mins ONLY of VIOLET FLAME AND YOU WILL BE FLABBERGASTED. You can continue with whatever belief system you have. The violet flame is for EVERYONE REGARDLESS OF RACE, GENDER OR CREED. THE VIOLET IS UNIVERSAL.

[@mickey5779]

That's what I'm faced with at the moment. She hasn't passed yet but it's coming. And I won't be there.

[@colleenwhite353]

The best way for me to get away from the evil I experienced as a child was to leave home. Mother bought the plane ticket. I was 15, and I only had 2 boxes of belongings but built up a life little by little. I came into some money a couple years later and spent it on education…had a family of my own eventually and enjoyed raising them and they’re good people today. I’m 51 and very happy I got the hell away from that hurtful life. I did well. 😊

[@colleenwhite353]

@@VioletThistlepetal-gl7ym problem now is that I always keep leaving at any sign of trouble. I’m never anywhere for long.

[@brownin329]

I am glad for you Colleen.

[@devinl8487]

My mother is a monster. I sometimes wish there was a group therapy for daughters of narcissistic mothers. This video is helpful ❤

[@jennylyon1576]

What a good idea, it would help me so much to be able to connect and relate to others that have had similar experiences. My grandmother committed suicide when I was 15,, she raised me. My mom didn't even care that I lost her. My mom is a monster. Makes me regret that I came back to care for her after the stroke. It's all too much what she had done to me and my son since then. Now we've lost everything living without water. Too much hurt. I truly need to heal and help like therapy.

[@natashadickson4819]

Start the group. Or maybe ask a therapist to start a group, and then you join it.

[@theonellakats2443]

I used to say I never wanted to be put in that position because the temptation for payback would have been too great. "Baby Jane" would have looked like a saint by comparison.@@jennylyon1576

[@velvetbees]

​@@jennylyon1576The cruelty is devastating. I think your mother was a fool for not appreciating such a sensitive and loving daughter. You triggered her because she was emotionally immature. A child tyrant with power. Your goodness made her feel guilty. I am sorry that is the deal with these kinds of mothers. You deserved her as a good mom, not a monster.

[@cyndim8785]

Be careful what you say around her. She can turn your words against you. My mother told my whole family, which is not that big that I was the person that ruined her life. She told everyone that I slept with her boyfriend, I didn’t even like the guy. He was six years older than me and tried to boss me around. She told him to pack up my things and put me out of the house. She kicked me out @17 I didn’t have anywhere to go and she didn’t care.

[@SurfinGrandma52]

My mother was incredibly mean and cruel. Her greatest joy was in humiliating me in any way she could. Growing up was hell on earth. I’m 71 years old and sometimes I still feel the pain of the many years of trauma.

[@JC-du6sn]

Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer 😇

[@BoilaFrog]

Me too Surfin’ Grandma… me too.

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

@@BoilaFrogme too- she died at 95 and left a lot of hatred and destruction behind her.

[@winterqueenkel]

Me too. I'm 45 and she's 69 now and she treats me like trash and always has. Hurts.

[@dedrathurmond7388]

If you haven’t already, forgive her for you ❤ I had too. There’s healing in forgiveness! I promise!

[@frankG335]

My mother's favorite phrase when I push back is literally, "How dare you!?!"

[@hellohell7773]

Or the “Who do you think you are?” While getting in your face and pointing with her finger

[@sallywillis1448]

Just tell her she's being ridiculous.@@hellohell7773

[@November_Rain]

My Mom just cries "disrespectful" or "ungrateful" like having an opinion is unlawful.

[@XOChristianaNicole]

@@hellohell7773- YESSSSSS!!! You shoulda seen the look on my mother face, when I finally asked “Who the hell do you think YOU are??” She never, ever, said it again.

[@kraftsnkush]

Mine loves to say, “You’re so evil!!!” All because I’m trying to maintain a boundary.

[@tamarastojanovic8835]

This is exactly my situation. The brother was the golden child, I was the scapegoat. But I left the state and got on with my life. The golden child never cut the apron ties.

[@bethh.9647]

Describes my situation exactly. I was first born. All her wrath was on me. Brother 5 yrs younger was coddled. I am 70 now, left home at 19 for 40 yrs. Brother never left the hometown, lived close to mother, visited almost daily and still visits her in nursing home nearly every day even though she has dementia. Brother never married, never had any relationships with women or men, never owned his own home, a job sent him to anger mgmt because he cannot get along with any women besides his mother. Leaving at age 19 was the best thing I ever did. Went entirely across the country, was successful. Bottom line is GET OUT AND GET AWAY FROM THE WITCH.

[@khadijahnyabinghi]

Truth. The Narcissistic mother is horrid to her daughter and sees her as competition in every way possible. Sick to the core.

[@elisanavarro1212]

She is a victim of generational pain. Stop judging

[@denisechishko4046]

Victim? That's the problem, people with this victim mentality. Victims make more victims and hurting people hurt people. Maybe these " mothers" should fix their hurts before deciding to breed.

[@beaniebaby1208]

​@@elisanavarro1212Then she should heal instead of destroying others. We ALL have a choice

[@sheri883]

@@elisanavarro1212 There are many types this gives them a free ride some are just evil covert spoiled child

[@teresarenee3829]

yeh, no...its not judging, its facts, and regardless of your pain, there is no excuse for abusing another because of it...NONE. Get help, but don't expect to just abuse people with no consequences.@@elisanavarro1212

[@lloyannehurd]

I remember being startled at how warm and womanly other peoples mothers were.

[@user-ry1vi1jc7o]

I was always surprised at how different my friends' mothers seemed. They weren't all week and martyr-like as my mother was. At least that's how she appeared to me. She was quite a different person with the outside world, I later found out.

[@lloyannehurd]

@@user-ry1vi1jc7o They are at least two different people. Whatever they need to be at the moment.

[@haPPySundAy970]

I still am. I’m sure God had a reason🙏🙌🏻♥️

[@DeathDoulaEnza]

This was so devastating to me. I just couldn’t figure what I was doing wrong …..

[@lloyannehurd]

@@DeathDoulaEnza I tried very hard to be a good girl but didn’t know why I wasn’t in her eyes. Nothing made sense.

[@stepanx1937]

The main problem in these relationships is that mother doesn't love her daughter. She regards her as an opponent for her husband's love, attentation, family resourses on the whole. And such women want to consume all the resourses as they're overwhelmed by their own desires and needs.

[@singsonggirl9267]

You've described my household to a T.

[@mickey5779]

Mine also. I was 35 years estranged and never looked back.

[@sr6061]

I have spent my life running around the world trying to remove myself from my mom. But at 62 she died. She apologized for being a bad mom, but she had Dementia. Now almost a year later I've found a freedom I didn't realize before

[@KatKrueger]

🥀🤍🤍

[@mooster47]

As a child with an extremely troubling mother, I treasured every crumb of kindness from other women, such as various friends' moms and a few of my teachers. It cannot be emphasized enough that no kindness toward a child is ever wasted. They made a huge difference to me, helping me to feel better about myself and serving as positive role models. I only wish there had been some way to thank them. We all need to pay forward to the children in our lives because there's often no way of knowing what pain they are going through.

[@nmc1859]

I agree. Same here. ❤

[@carolinethomas6562]

I had the same experience. I'm grateful for those vital moments with kind, authentic women.

[@vivdoolan6846]

Same here!

[@debbieschultz9768]

I did the exact same thing. A teacher, a woman from church or whoever I chose. Even baby sitters.

[@NightOwl222]

Well said.

[@Daisydarthvader]

I was adopted into a narcissistic family. I was the scapegoat and had two older brothers that could do no wrong. I found my birth family and it turns out my mother was forced to give me up. Now I have a mom and a sister who love me unconditionally.

[@deebrown1688]

I'm sorry you want thur that but imma so glad you with your family now happy hear that

[@Zoleankico4267]

I had a similar experience with the family I was adopted into. I also did meet my biological mother. We never really connected, as her other two children took precedence. She stopped talking to me completely, when she was cheating on her husband, and I think she thought I was going to tell him, (which I wasn’t), but people get weird when they’re guilty of something they shouldn’t be doing. I stood up to my adopted mother 10 years ago, and she told me I was mean, and wanted nothing to do with me anymore. So now I have no mom. It does hurt my feelings, but I’m glad I don’t have to put up with the constant put downs, or her superiority complex anymore!

[@heidiknuth7568]

I'm trying to do this now, and it;s late to start. I just cant imagine telling them about the abusive people who adopted me. Where did you go to find them?

[@millier9658]

@@Zoleankico4267oh so sorry. That’s so messed up 😒

[@katharineharrison9091]

That’s my story too. Except that my birth mother is also a narcissist. My siblings are amazingly loving to me and she despises that.

[@patriciamountin9564]

I was raised by a narcissistic mom and went straight into the arms of a narcissistic spouse. I have spent 68 years living in this mess and am just figuring this all out. The information you are providing is compelling to say the least. Thank you so much for your valuable video. I have spent all these years trying to survive and I'm looking forward to letting go of the hurt and shame and living my best life.

[@angelcarrelli1519]

You are not alone. I fell into that same path. “Better late than never” doesn’t even begin to appease the lifetime of hurt. My parents even took me to a psychiatrist who finally told them they were being abusive parents whom she could report to authorities. I wish she would have done so! Naturally that was our last psychiatrist appointment. This dynamic is never resolved. We are expected to “just get over it.” I know how brave you are and honor you.❤

[@brendamyc3173]

@@angelcarrelli1519 I had this experience too.

[@Anna-eu8px]

Me too, i married the familiar, even though it was a toxic horrible situation. Divorced after 36 years.

[@3js1cand2ds3]

100% accurate. It’s even worse when the brother is a narcissist.

[@mrmech4s818]

I ended my relationship with my entire family. I could not carry on being emotionally abused by them. My Mother is a narcissist, my Dad passive aggressive and my brother the 'golden child'. it was time to allow myself to heal.

[@franglais-riders]

Same here. Peace is worth it. And your mental health. Never looked back.

[@happysilence887]

I did the same. I have not spoken to my siblings in about 5 years. My mother passed and I did not go to her funeral.

[@stephaniewood1547]

Sounded like my life what you said…😮

[@strengthperseverance9501]

Wow. That’s exactly how it is for me.

[@franglais-riders]

@@happysilence887 my mother is very old now. I keep thinking I should probably do like you and not travel to Spain where she was from, when she passes. I don’t need the drama. My mother will leave a house ( worthless in a village in the mountains ). Pretty sure this small inheritance will bring the worst on my 2 brothers. I just wished she left nothing so I never meet them again. I may just keep no contact and not go to the funeral, like you. I have a huge family from my father side and some from my mother side, but we were kept away from them growing up, as you might expect, so we know no one. Never met them. My parents did not even had friends. Complete isolation back then. So I don’t expect anyone else at the funeral. Just thinking about her funeral and my brothers’ drama makes me so stressed. But she is so healthy at 95 she will probably bury us all. I never expected to outlive her to be honest.

[@juliekongs4856]

I’m 70 years old. My mother did not like me, made my childhood miserable. She died in 2013 and we get along fine now! I like her much better now that she’s dead. And I am dead serious about that.

[@leslierisan7603]

Sweet relief

[@missco2820]

I understand you ☹️

[@AFAskygoddess]

I cherish the letter I got from the probate court, informing me that the beast that birthed me was dead. We were no contact for over 15 years, but I was considered her " heir in law" even though she clearly disinherited me in her will. I certainly didn't contest the will. I was just glad she couldn't hurt me anymore.

[@Malaya880]

LOVE your honesty. Only a fellow survivor of horrific narcissistic abuse from a "mother" would understand.

[@karlamccullough5319]

Totally understand. When my mother died, my sister sang "ding dong the wicked witch is dead" at my mother's grave. I was a little surprised. My mother was in a nursing home for 10 years before she died. It was hell. I often visited and seldom went the last 2 years. She would blame me for everything wrong in her life. She would say, "I wish I would have killed you when I had the chance." She told me she wanted to have an abortion but was too afraid. She tried to miscarry. I was born 6 weeks early. She had postpartum depression and wanted to kill me when I was an infant. My sister was openly favored by my mother. She was the wanted child, and I was unwanted. I was age 4 when my mother told me I was unwanted. I was neglected. Both of us were physically, verbally, and emotionally abused. My sister was allowed to take advantage of me. She was very unkind to me when we were children and young adults. I gave up seeking love from my family when I was age 7. I was very depressed, I had an eating disorder in my teens and 20s. I considered suicide when I was 15. My mother promoted competition between us. I thought my sister and I developed a better relationship after our mother died. I was wrong. When my sister died, her last words were very unkind. ~~~~~ I still struggle with problems caused by my dysfunctional childhood. I have difficulty establishing and sustaining personal relationships. I don't have a self identity, I tend to put other people's desires ahead of my own until I resent feeling used. My advice is to get away from the narcissists.

[@bowsicle8226]

What you said about how daughters are treated compared to a brother gave me chills, so true!

[@elynegron8428]

I just learned that my mother is a covert narcissist. For years I couldn't understand how a mother can be so indifferent, cold, mean and callous to her child. I was such a good little girl and all I wanted to do was please my mother but nothing was ever good enough for her. I have since healed from that trauma and I don't let her slide on ANYTHING! ;D

[@Officialjessicasanchez7]

How do you stand up to her? Do you ever get scared?

[@elynegron8428]

@@Officialjessicasanchez7 Hi Jessica, it was a little scary at first because my mother has always used control and intimidation on me when I was a child and I was deathly afraid of her. But once I got older, I mustarded up the courage, with respect of course and I let her know what the deal was. One thing about narcissistic people is they will NEVER accept responsibility for their words or actions. She just recently told my cousin I'm selfish and that I don't love her and she told my boyfriend I don't love him and he should find someone better. o-0 She's a piece of work. I'm working on moving out [I initially moved in to help her financially]. Now she can end up in a nursing home for all I care. She's a horrible woman and I want nothing to do with her. It's not an easy road but it can be done. Always know that you matter and you deserve to be treated with love and respect. ;D

[@Officialjessicasanchez7]

@@elynegron8428 wow that’s good to hear that you left again. Yeah I was afraid also all of my childhood. But it’s nice to hear you stood up for yourself AND with respect.

[@lisareynolds2085]

I have cut of contact finally after four years of studying narcissism and figuring out all her behaviour: she feels dead to me despite being alive... navigating grieving the loss of something I never had

[@NakedNarcissism]

I am so sorry that you are going through this horrific situation. I think going through narcissistic abuse from a parent is a special kind of evil. I hope you have found a good therapist that can help you heal your heart from the "loss" of your mom. Sending you hugs and good vibes for your full and complete healing.

[@audhumbla6927]

@@NakedNarcissism excuse me but why are you giving advice on narcisstic mothers when you dont have one...?? seems very strange. where do you get the experience and expertince to advice people about this???

[@TinaDougherty]

Maybe the same place that your ability (need) to criticize other's choice of topic, which they based on their many years of studying in higher education and people in life 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@NakedNarcissism]

@@TinaDougherty thank you!

[@NakedNarcissism]

@@audhumbla6927 seems strange yet here you are🥰 I don’t have to have a narcissistic mother to give advice on how to handle one. Much like you don’t have to have a bitch for a mother to be one.

[@gailbohlmann861]

The day my mother died was the day of my FREEDOM!

[@christinekelley-ledbetter3562]

You're not alone.

[@dianeballwegluba9367]

This was my exact situation. My Mom took her own life when I was 18, and then I got my voice.

[@gailbohlmann861]

@dianeballwegluba9367 I'm sorry, and I send hugs for healing. The emotions I felt and dealt with afterward were overwhelming, but I fought through them for weeks. I couldn't bury them any longer. My hardest issue now is forgiveness 🙏

[@TAS0102]

@@gailbohlmann861 Forgiveness is the hardest and most important part.

[@gailbohlmann861]

@christinepound5889 It most definitely is the hardest to do. Still working on forgiving her.

[@kerrawiser1971]

Hello, my name is KERRA. I am 50 years old. I am bawling my eyes out right now because you have provided the salve to start healing from neglect, physical mental abuse by my Mother. All my life, I never felt like I was wanted or loved. I was a burden. I just wanted to say thank you from the very depths of my being. I’m not sure where to go from here, but I will keep watching your videos. I think you are incredible and thank you again.

[@aimee1860]

God bless you I understand giving my life to Jesus is what healed me and made it easier for me to be able to cope with such a broken mother I pray you ask Jesus into your life

[@mimap275]

Yes Jesus is the Mother and Father the ultimate Parent , he's the healer counsellor, just cry to Him He's all ears 😢❤❤

[@fontainee6561]

I had a successful modelling career for years, but my mum would always tell me it was because of her. I would travel often, and she would make me feel guilty. I also remember so vividly when people would compliment me in front of my mum, she would say, "Why are you complimenting her when I made her?" I tried so hard to be the daughter she could love, but to no avail. My brother, on the other hand, was literally worshipped. It hurt so much and still does now, decades later. I have cried so many times, wondering why I wasn't good enough. Now, being a mum of a daughter and three sons, I know that the person lacking was her. Not me. I cut her out of my life two years ago and am on a long journey of healing. Thank you so much for your insights. They've helped immensely!!

[@LV-bk4it]

I remember the first time my mother lashed out at me. I was 13, and she was driving my best friend and me to the movie theater. I was sitting in the passenger seat and putting on lip gloss while looking in the drop-down mirror. My friend said it or I looked pretty, and I laughed appreciatively - my mother turned to me, dead-eyed, and said, "You're nothing special." She did other worse things but I still think of this at least once a week, and I'm 60.

[@user-tw6um5kd2p]

She certainly revealed her true horrible, tragic self in that moment. But wounded you with her own feelings of inadequacy. So sad. So sick. To rip that joy of feeling beautiful and young, away from her daughter. I am so sorry. 😢

[@monabarber2335]

She only said that to you because that’s how She was feeling on the inside ! These Demon Possessed Mothers Project all their insecurities onto Us ! I’m 63 and just found out at 60 years young ! It was always Her that Hated Me because I am a Happy Spirit , and I have the light 💡 within Me ! They are Vampires who despise the light in Us and they will do whatever it takes to destroy Us ! Walk away , they are EVIL to the CORE 👺

[@SpikeLover1863]

My god - what awful, nasty, hurtful behaviour from your mother! She should be ashamed of herself! A mother should encourage a sense of self-esteeem in her daughter instead of putting her down so bluntly. Your friend gave you a compliment which was really nice. It seems your mother just couldn't let you have that positive moment and was determined to take it from you. That's SO mean! I can relate because my Mum has said nasty things about me. She puts on a nice face in public, but deep down, she can be a nasty, spiteful, manipulative witch. So I can totally empathize with you and I'm sending you big virtual hugs. xx

[@Emefur1]

Similarly my mother also turned on me when I was about 14. I guess until then I had been a compliant child and no “threat” so I was simply completely ignored. She started screaming at me and my best friend accusing us of being lesbians. We were 14 and just really good innocent teenagers, dumbstruck with shock. Various different abusive tirades by her continued over the next 50 years. With periods of NC.

[@tracimghernandez974]

Wow, something my mom had told me many times, and if I told her about something nice someone did or said, to me at work, she will start telling my neighbors lies to hurt me. My first memory is when I was 5, and I got chocolate around my mouth, pretending to be a baby, and she beat me, said I was a horrible kid, and just made a mess to make her look bad. . I'm 58, .nd it still hurts me.

[@sheilabeck1595]

I cried as I watched this video. This has been my whole life experience and I'm almost 65 years old now. I know my mother hates me and I have been searching for reasons why. I found my answer here. My mother had surgery recently and told the rest of the family to not tell me. I found out by accident on my daughter's birthday. I'm her only daughter, but she has always treated me as competition. Whenever I stand up for myself, she plays the victim and I get blamed for upsetting her and making her cry. She smears my name and turns other family members against me. My 3 brothers and their wives either join in on bullying me or they look the other way. They never ask my side of the story. I have finally chosen to step away because I can't take this abuse anymore. I don't deserve it.

[@karenmarshall6467]

The smear campaign is deadly. The worst thing is that everyone else in the family believes the Narc as you say. Not ONE family member ever came to me and said is it true what mother is saying? Not ONE. That includes my own kids who know me better than any one else. I feel your pain ❤

[@mariannehodson8700]

So, so painful. I have gone through this exactly. We do deserve better!

[@shellae1922]

I am free from this situation for a long time now and my mom has passed. Things got so bad between my brother and I he attacked me and choked me to almost unconsciousness. My mother got him to stop. As I was lying there, she comforted him telling him I wasn't worth it... meaning the consequences he would face ending me. This was the moment I saw the sick dynamics. I struggled for years with the realization of being unloved.

[@francesstrother5144]

Wow you described my life.

[@JC-du6sn]

Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer 😇

[@robertmontgomery1310]

Birth of my girls is number one happiness, death of my mother is number two. 78 and still happy, never cried and never a second spent missing her.

[@charlottetaylor4471]

I assume there are still issues there, otherwise you wouldn't be watching this video. I sincerely don't mean this as a criticism, but I think a lot of people turn to denial to deal with the pain - "I'm fine, I don't need her." Etc etc.

[@natashabrown41]

It’s scary how accurate these videos are 😢😢😢

[@athena5222]

After 47 years of unmentionable narcissistic abuse from my mother, it has been 2 years since I decided to go no contact. It was the BEST decision I have ever made.

[@LisachildOTMH]

7 years no contact best thing I ever did for myself!

[@kellywebster326]

4 years 🫶

[@FerliciaOng-ul8fb]

Sometimes, it was situation which forced us in no contact. Seeing how bad mum treated us.

[@ANM657]

No contact is the best solution, it disarms them totally 👌

[@anewdawn2009]

My narc mother stalks me on the Nextdoor app since I went no contact 3 years ago

[@fridanjiru]

My narcissistic mother hates so bad, I have lived all my life trying to earn her love until i discovered its a mission impossible.

[@NakedNarcissism]

I am providing a live Zoom training on July 10th at 7 pm EST on recovering from having a narcissistic parent. Would love to have you join us. You can go to my website to reserve one of the slots available. www.nakednarcissism.com. Click ‘Services’ at the top of the screen and then scroll down until you see ‘Zoom Trainings’.

[@cordeliav3055]

Been there, done that. I empathise. Hope you got out of it.

[@user-sv5on5fj2q]

Amen! Sometimes the best healing comes from making peace with that which we can not change or fully understand. Love, Let go, and live. God Bless you with healing that shall occur from the inside out so that the heartache subsides.

[@JC-du6sn]

Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer 😇

[@suenorwood-evans9724]

I spent my WHOLE life trying to ‘be good enough’ to be loved by my mother - what a waste of time!

[@latinaustralia]

My mother is elderly and her bitterness and hatred shines more than ever. Growing up i thought she was a strong woman, now i see her as a wounded little creature that spews hate for her previous suffering. I suffer from blood pressure, stress and anxiety. She would never acknowledge she's causing it. But i feel guilty if i walk away but she's costing me my health.

[@growingandlearning164]

It's not worth it,they will never value you,look after your health My stepfather had major heart issues when he was living with my mother. None since he got away..well she left him actually thank God.

[@mvbigmagic4048]

Don't be afraid to walk away or do the bare minimum. I am a member of a group of caregivers of narcissistic relatives, and it's amazing how many health problems develop from taking care of these people. it's like they suck life out of you. Your life is worth more helping good people than helping someone who enjoys hurting others.

[@renaestevenson1361]

My mom is a textbook narc; she killed me, emotionally (no lie) many years ago, as a very little girl, and even to this day; she has done so many horrific things to hurt me (always goes for the jugular with what she does to me - truly horrendous things to me) - too many to go into. My mom loves my two brothers but yet has doled out such horrifying travesty to my sister and I; my sister has not spoken to my mom in 15 years (lives in another state from me/our mom) and that is based on SEVERE extreme behaviors by our mom to her. I am very glad she is free of our scary mom. I have, like an idiot, tried to care for her in her old age over past 5 years (post my own years of absence from her based on same). Once again, she has committed truly horrific damage against me. Long story short, she will have to die without me. This last go-round of what she did to me (4 wks ago), I cannot be around her...yet once again (even with her COPD/bad health/broken bones, etc) - she truly wants to hurt me in the most egregious ways. I am getting counselling (again) from dr. - I absolutely must stay away from her.

[@adeeperlook5866]

@renaestevenson1361 Wishing you continuing healing. You clearly have a beautiful heart and I am sorry that you have been so abused by your mother. May you trust in your healing process.

[@renaestevenson1361]

@@adeeperlook5866 Thank you for your kind words.. Still away from my mom and getting counselling (that is helping). Be well and have a good day!

[@thecoldglassofwatershow]

@@renaestevenson1361they really only get worse as they get older! My mother literally said, “only the good die young. That’s why I’m going to live forever” like wtf

[@thecoldglassofwatershow]

And then after she said that she cackled like the wicked witch of the west

[@nicolesmith1805]

All you owe is to SAVE yourself! Anyone that sickly and that mean will have to go it alone..

[@hollybardoe4075]

I am 77, and my Mom has been gone for 10 years. Everything you describe was true of my Mom's and my relationship. I had a younger brother who could do nothing wrong in her eyes, and she was also always encouraging and affirming him, where she always argued for my own limitations. Going through years of therapy helped a little, but not much. I finally developed a close relationship with my next-door Neighbor, a lonely widow who was the same age as my Mom. Until she died, I visited her daily, and she was always deeply grateful for my visits, and every time I went home, we told each other "I love you." After she died at age 98, I went to live in a senior-citizen facility, where I've made many friends and am very happy. Thank God I was able to enjoy that precious relationship with her.

[@shidehhafezi6826]

Speaking of your neighbor- It is amazing how some women can build deep, loving and supportive connections with their children. I am glad you had this experience

[@candeeellis282]

You are loved

[@gloriaclark8845]

I am a survivor of an narcissistic mother, until the day she died. Every thing you described happen to me. I have an younger brother that my mom brainwashed him and an entire family against me. To this day I have never did one thing to anyone...they all snubbed me and my son at her funeral. Everything based on what lies she told. After, I had my son at age 40 a light bulb went off. I finally got this person hated me and was attempting to turn my son against me. I cut her off for over 10 years. She continued...she was relentless in her efforts to get to my son as he got older. Long story short, after became an adult she continued to reach out to him through my ex. She wanted to have Thanksgiving with him but he told her we were a package deal. So, she invited me big mistake, she was 92 years old nothing had changed, I could even get myself seated before she started in on me. I was blessed through the years, the Lord Always gave me a family were ever I lived and to this day he has given us family. It May not be blood. Its friends and older ladies through the years one has dementia I could love her anymore as if she was my own mother.

[@nmc1859]

Amen ❤️🙏

[@heidiuridge1584]

❤❤❤

[@wklilly1]

The best advice I ever got was from my brother. He told me “you don’t have to.” That’s all I needed. I walked away (and started me healing journey) over 10 years ago and it was the best decision I ever made. You don’t deserve abuse. From her, or anyone.

[@citizenearth71]

I have a supportive brother too. They are awesome!

[@saltcitytarot]

Same, my brother is really cool.

[@minusurendran1926]

Same with my brother ..he supported me and said " u can just walk away ..don't worry..run away from her"

[@904kjm]

Raising successful children of your own is the BEST payback! I'm the eldest daughter scapegoat and could not move away fast enough from my mom and sister's "Mean Girls" club fifty years ago! Visited only occasionally but an aunt who saw what was happening in my childhood stepped in and remained loyal and loving until she passed just a few months ago. I'm in my late 60's now and mom recently passed away. It was SO nice to bring my two 6'5" handsome well-educated sons, an engineer and an MD, to her small graveside funeral. The family's collective jaw just dropped. B-bye was the best move I made in that relationship.

[@user-rl4gy3dq7d]

I am one of 10 children with a narcissistic mother! I have 5 sisters and 4 brothers… she played us against each other. We all barely speak and only a few of them speak to her. I was the lowest in her eyes on the totem pole. She hated me the most and taught my siblings to hate me. I don’t speak to any of them because of the ongoing cruelty

[@user-yu6fw7et1p]

I am 1 of 7 from an Irish catholic family. Same with my mom! She is cold hearted and plays mind games with us all. One of my brothers is the Trophy Child and she has a sick obsession with him. I’m 56 and just went no contact after decades of emotional pain. Religious narcissists are the worst ❤️‍🩹

[@jamibee1450]

This is my life

[@michelledotts2041]

My mom passed away when I was 29 and I really didn’t heal until I was 50 yrs old. Keeping all of you ladies in my prayers for your complete healing also.

[@MYKEYCARD]

THAT IS BEAUTIFUL 👍 MAYBE THESE LADIES HAVE POSTNATAL DEPRESSION FROM BACK IN THE DAY THAT HAS NEVER BEEN DETECTED OR RECEIVED ANY SUPPORT, COMPASSION, EMPATHY OR UNDERSTANDING FOR US MEN DON'T HAVE PERIODS ,BABIES, ETC, ETC, ETC 🙏💜🌍💜🙏

[@reanndacli3421]

How did you do it??

[@MYKEYCARD]

🙏💜🌍💜🙏

[@debsimons7320]

My mother died when I was 29 also. It was a relief. I've grown to dislike her more as years go by.

[@doggieclaude]

Mine passed away when I was 34 and I'm nearly 50 now. I have never felt sad that she died, just sad I didn't have a better mother. Much love to you 💖

[@patriciamackinnon4772]

What you are describing is bang-on. It’s like you were in my home. I am now 60 years old and this explains so much. There were six kids in my family. Four girls and two boys. The boys were doted on and could do no wrong. The girls fell in line. But for some weird reason, I was the target female. The stories I could tell. When my mother died, my siblings cried for the mother they lost… I cried for the mother I never had.

[@katebutler9809]

Wow. I was main target too. Wonder if being middle child had any bearing on it. Hmm.

[@CC-gx4lz]

I was the oldest, of 3 I was the only female…interesting thought though I am sorry to you@@katebutler9809

[@gwenrios6268]

Oh my goodness. My story is the same as yours. There were 4 girls and 2 boys in my family as well! And BOTH my parents favored the boys over us girls. I'm 55 years old and I am just now beginning to understand my parents behavior. About 10 years ago, I finally decided to let my mother go emotionally, and it brought me to a better place of peace within myself. I no longer continue to expect my mother to act like a loving mother should. I keep her at an arms length, all the while just being cordial to her in return. That's as far as our relationship will ever go.

[@TS-hz5jb]

Exactly the same story with me. Now my older sister is treating her own daughter the same way.

[@sharongarrett4356]

I was the only girl, amidst 3 boys. She idolized the oldest and infantalized the youngest. They could do no wrong, while the 2 of us middles were never good enough. Now that one is dead and the other estranged, she treats the middle one, former blacksheep, felon, thief, and O.D.Der. like he's a Saint, while all that I have done for her continues to go unnoticed and I get blamed for every unhappiness that either of them ever feel. Meanwhile, if I ever have any occasional complaint, I am accused of "playing the victim." It is truly a sickness, this self-absorption and control game. Seems to be spreading, too.... Wouldn't wish this kind of childhood on anyone.

[@rowanspiritwalker6667]

You hit everything right on the mark - EVERYTHING - you could have been describing my childhood like a first-person witness, right down to having a brother who was made a "golden child", and me looking for a different family where I was loved and wanted. Wow.

[@brigittepliska2386]

This podcast hit the nail on the head. I remember overhearing my grandmother accusing my mother of jealousy toward me when I was just 4. She was jealous of her own mother who was a wonderful lady and still badmouths her over silly slights from decades ago, long after her death. She betrayed me and was abusive throughout my childhood. When my daughter (my 3rd child) was born, my mother immediately displayed contempt and jealousy which continued after my daughter passed away at age 20. She even threw a fit because I wasn't acting cheerful enough on the anniversary of my daughter's death and that clinched it for me. Yet she always thought highly of my husband although she hates that I married a good man. She didn't care much for my boys until they were old enough to drink with her, especially when they acted out against us as teens. Now that they've become good responsible gentlemen, she complains they don't call her enough, she's old, lonely, and she attempts to pit us all against each other. She is now gracing me with silence because I've dared to try to get off the phone too many times before she was ready to end her monologue. Narcissists definitely do NOT get better.

[@SweetUniverse]

I am absolutely amazed that you are describing my mother to a tee. She died 7 yrs ago & my life has been great ever since. I don't miss her. People say, "You can't mean that!" These are always ppl who knew her fake self.

[@JC-du6sn]

Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer 😇

[@slothy-sloth-sloth5681]

My mother went into hospice care with cancer and died. It was really unsettling. Death is unsettling. But I walked out of hospice care thinking "I will not shed one tear for you" and I didn't. I'm not a mean person at all. I'm deeply sensitive, I'd even say an empath but she was still rotten to me on her deathbed!

[@carolnimitz1317]

My narc mom died almost 9 years ago and I haven’t even missed her in all these years, when my daughters were little, I had to stop letting mom see them because she tried to make me the bad guy to them, among other things. Anyway, I hear ya!

[@Beginnerreadsthebible]

​@@slothy-sloth-sloth5681looking back, do you regret going to be with her in hospice?

[@oncebrokn3]

People don't understand, "There's nothing more hurtful for a child than to not feel loved and understood by his/her parents. A toxic mother does not feel any great empathy for their child.

[@karenlynch8348]

I FELT my mom’s jealousy all my life BUT it makes no sense so I dismissed it. I always thought by the way she treated me, there was some unknown, innate flaw in me that I was just not good.

[@carolinelapalomento7172]

My mom would always say to me you’re just jealous of me. And I never understood why she would say that to me as a teenager

[@user-pettygirl]

That's not true you did nothing wrong love yourself😢

[@juststop94]

My late aunt told me when I was 38, I'm 52 now, that my mother was jealous of me. I thought it was ridiculous, but I've come to realize it's true.

[@chunkysocks8121]

same here. my mom HATED me all my life. She used to routinely tell me i disgusted her so much she couldnt look at me, and im talking when I was very little. Now im more successful in life than shell ever be, and she credits herself and lives in a delusion where she supported me and made it possible.

[@esotericsolitaire]

Same here. I now realize how damaged my mom really is.

[@dodieanderson9664]

Watching her treat my sister with love and simultaneously rejecting me is one of my deepest wounds.

[@NakedNarcissism]

I'm deeply sorry to hear about the pain you've experienced from witnessing the differential treatment between you and your sister by your narcissistic mother. It's heartbreaking to endure such rejection and favoritism within a family dynamic. Feeling overlooked and unloved by a parent while witnessing their affection towards a sibling can indeed leave lasting emotional scars. Your experience highlights the profound impact that narcissistic behavior can have on familial relationships and individual well-being. Please know that your feelings are valid, and you're not alone in navigating these challenging dynamics. It's essential to prioritize your own self-care and seek support from understanding friends, family members, or professionals who can offer validation and guidance. Remember, you deserve love, acceptance, and respect, regardless of the treatment you've received from your mother. Healing from these deep wounds takes time and effort, but it's possible with the right support and resources. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sending you strength and support as you continue on your journey of healing and self-discovery. Take care.

[@kristinbond1735]

My mom has always been so horrible to me, always stabbed me in the back, never been there for me and always talked nothing but bad about me

[@Tracer3]

I eventually Divorced Myself from my Mother and went completely No Contact after finally taking off the Rose-Coloured Glasses and seeing her for Who She Really Was. The only thing that pains me now is the loss of something that I really never ever had, A Mother's Love.

[@katherineh9279]

Well done, it's definitely not an easy thing to do knowing the Narc mother will be spinning all sorts of lies to justify herself to anyone that will listen. I also went no contact about 12 years ago. It was the best thing for my mental health, but like you I envy those who who have a loving , functional relationship with their mum but thank god I have a wonderful relationship with my son . I never wanted to be the type of parent my mother was to me.

[@Tracer3]

@@katherineh9279 Totally Agree. Me Too. I have a Healthy Loving Relationship with All 3 of my Sons. I could Never hurt my own Sons like that. Tysm.

[@savvytravel2318]

Really Sad! But in the end you have to Choose your OWN SOUL. There are still good hearted spiritual people. Have faith that your good heart would not fail you

[@bubbapants4689]

Same here.

[@eri_noemi1462]

It's rough, realizing the person you thought you could trust the most - your mother - ends up betraying you. Mine betrayed me and caused me to have a mental breakdown.

[@kmaxton]

I can't remember where I learned this but "A Mom's criticism (of her daughter) turns to envy, envy turns to hatred and then betrayal." Such a good explanation.

[@911dips5]

That's my mom

[@kerrieannebaker8595]

yes, that makes complete sense

[@milenaaguirre6925]

Thanks for saying those words as the progression to betrayal did happen!

[@mschickie007]

100%

[@reanndacli3421]

This is so true

[@jas85225]

I recently ceased the relationship. I also have a brother. She caused some sort of rift between my brother and myself. I don't know why he doesn't talk to me anymore. But, I finally let it go and don't care about it anymore. I recently went through a lot of healing and an awakening. So, I had gone back. While I had become stronger, she became stronger in a more toxic manner. I have had the veil taken off my eyes and have seen all the evil she had done to me in the past. I also have found a spiritual mother that has always prayed for me. I found her in a website while I was looking at how to deal with spiritual warfare. I believe my mother is possessed by some sort of evil entity after she went through some trauma in the past.

[@Bossladylj]

YOU DESCRIBED MY ENTIRE LIFE TO A TEE!!! I am sitting here watching this in disbelief and I only wish I would have learned this 20 years ago!!! I have ended the relationship finally. WOW!!!! And I had a brother

[@ultramagaqueen6303]

You nailed my childhood. I finally went no contact 3 years ago. I'm currently 62 years old. I wish I had this information decades ago.

[@lbhoprsnfd1553]

I'm working on it now same age

[@jlroussin]

Same here.

[@autumndemeranville7268]

I'm 45 now, but decided about 8 years ago I was no longer including my mom in my life. It has been sad and weird, but I breathe better now, but it's still a work in progress ❤

[@christinedrost6542]

I am also 62 and healing from the mother that she just described. I didn't realize what was the real cause until she went into assisted living and I was not around her for years. I started healing and it is a sad feeling but I feel free.

[@carolferguson19]

👍💕🙏 ✌️

[@aldimaven6070]

You described perfectly the horror of my childhood. I had a brother who was my mother’s sun and son. Her world turned around him and everything he did was perfect. She loved having her club of just two, and letting me know that I could never be a member. My dad traveled for a living, so 90% of the time I was alone and had no ally in the family. I was ridiculed and jeered at most of the time. I’m 67 years old, and still crying for acceptance. Praise God that my mother is long dead, but I still struggle to get her out of my mind. Day by day, prayer by prayer, I’m healing. There is always hope in God’s world.

[@tinasam9996]

Amen

[@cynthiagallentinehowell391]

Stay strong in your belief that God is good and faithful; with His help you can heal and make peace with all the suffering and even go on to use it for good in showing compassion towards yourself and others experiencing this kind of true evil.

[@jaybird2791]

Oh dear friend please read what I just wrote above! You and I are THE SAME ❤❤❤❤

[@donnafraenkel7852]

Your story is my story ❤ you are worthy and loved

[@backyardpottyhumor3417]

I'm 57 in 2 days. I am done with Jane! It ended 12-28-22 and life will be better and is@

[@debracramer1251]

Everything you said is exactly what it was like with my Mother after I was about 13 yrs old and up. I moved 500 miles away, but whenever I came back to visit and with my kids, I would experience the painful feeling of her put downs. After she got sick with Dementia, and right before she passed away; she forgot that she resented me sometimes and she seem to care for me like when I was a child. She ask me to forgive her of any wrong doing that she may ha e done to me after I told her how that she had always hurt my feeling and treated me unfairly. I'm glad that we had that time together at the end of her life because it gave us both a real sense of peace between us, finally at last. We prayed together with me leading that God would forgive us of any wrong treatment that we had done to each other. Praise God for saving our souls!!!

[@theliterarytarot]

Took me a long time to realize my mom was a narcissist. So much hate still coming from her but at least I don’t internalize it now.

[@NakedNarcissism]

Thank you for sharing your experience. It's a challenging journey to recognize and come to terms with a parent's narcissistic behavior, especially when it's accompanied by ongoing negativity and hate. It's a testament to your strength and resilience that you've reached a point where you no longer internalize her toxicity. Setting boundaries and refusing to internalize her negativity is a crucial step towards protecting your mental and emotional well-being. Remember, you deserve love, respect, and kindness, and it's okay to prioritize your own happiness and peace. Your journey of self-discovery and growth is inspiring. Keep moving forward, and know that you're not alone in navigating these difficult dynamics. Thank you for sharing your story and empowering others to do the same.

[@cherylbaker4854]

At 57 I am crying at finally being understood and validated My mother has disregarded my feelings for years yet cherished my brothers who were all addicts She constantly belittles any success I have had in life I wish someone gave me the advice to sever the relationship earlier in my life as I have suffered my whole life being stuck in this abusive relationship

[@ninaz2120]

Narcissistic mothers create addicted boys, even that it seems they care about them more, they do something to them that is so traumatizing that most become addicted to soothe their pain. I escaped and unfortunately my baby brother stayed with her and passed away due to overdose. A very sad story. Regardless of all my mother's games and how much she tried to set us up against one another, I loved my brother very much and it forever hurts that we were both played and destroyed by this sick woman.

[@nmc1859]

Same. It is so hard never having a normal loving mother, but yet everyone assumes that you have. A narcissistic mother is hurtful, unhelpful, and a shell of a person

[@nmc1859]

​@@ninaz2120I describe what a narcissistic parent did to me as murderous

[@karenmarshall6467]

Leave now its not too late. Better than to stay til the end....her last action as she lay dying was to push me away from her and roll her eyes upwards in disgust at me.

[@swirlingbutterflies]

Youre not alone I am in the same boat. Hugs

[@whitelotus1960]

I remember when I was a senior in high school, showing my narcissistic mother my report card with straight As. She didn't say anything and walked away. My father looked at me and said, "I don't know why you bother; she doesn't care.' I never forgot that because it cut so deep.

[@HHCF713]

I understand. My egg donor refused to attend my high school and college graduation and mind you I’m the only one of three that graduated. Both the oldest and middle child went to prison for things and had 6+ kids but I worked two jobs my whole life and paid my own way.

[@ktisaqt16]

I remember my mother screwing up my report cards and throwing them back at me. At the school we had to get them signed by a parent and with my dad working away I had to go back to school with a ruined report and no signature. Most teachers did nothing but some showed me love and empathy and it still brings tears to my eyes now. I never told my teachers about the strangling around my neck, the grabbing and twisting and spitting in my face over report cards. The sheer terror of her gritted teeth in my face. 😢

[@lindafrantz7545]

She would be jealous of your accomplishments. She would hate people who have good in their lives.

[@GodiscomingBhappy]

@CJN973 you are the perfect picture of success. Despite all the mess around you, you came out better the other side. Be proud of yourself and remind yourself that regularly.

[@HomemakingWithFarrah]

Bless your heart….I’m so sorry! 💔

[@jennacallahan85]

This describes my life with my mom and my brother. I always wondered why she supported him so much more than me. Why she put me down, and now I realize it was her projecting her own insecurities onto me. I was a high schooler and became a manager at the small restaurant I worked at.. she told me nobody expected anything from me except to end up pregnant. It hurt me so badly and I’ve never forgotten it. If I was my mom I would be like “wow, I am so proud of you for how far you’ve come! You’re a manager at 18? I can’t wait to see how far you go!” I have my own kids and I can’t wait to see how successful they become. I want them to go farther than me. It’s so hard to understand why she didn’t want that for me. Now at 38 I finally have cut her off and told her I won’t continue a fake relationship where I am just making her happy and never getting to be myself. My inner child was telling me to stop doing this with her. Thank you for your video and suggestions. I’ve been looking for a mom my whole life 😢❤

[@mamazannie6060]

Well, you hit the nail on the head. My Mom was a narcissist although I did not really realize this until after she had passed. She always made me feel lesser than everyone else, ugly, fat, non like able etc. I heard her once accuse my father of sleeping with me. I was in my thirties with children of my own, and she didn’t want me visiting. It strained the relationship with my father and I whom I adored. She was always telling her friends that we would go out to dinner and walk into the restaurant without her which was not true. I left the house as soon as I graduated and my father was crushed. He did not understand the abuse that was going on constantly. Ironically I took care of her for the last 18 months of her life, and she was mean up to the end. I didn’t realize how conflicted I was until I put myself through that. I felt nothing when she died as far as true loss like I did with my father. I felt relief and then I felt guilty about feeling that way. I could go on and on. Thank you for your video.

[@annorr11]

The desire to have a loving mother is profound and eternal. It’s the hardest thing to do to say goodbye to something you never had. You will feel the pain but there are two kinds of pain. There is the pain of abuse and rejection or the pain of healing. You choose. Courage is required.

[@janny474]

How do you do that?

[@Pussycatwhiskers]

@@janny474with courage ❤

[@Laptopbabe]

Wow thank you❤❤❤

[@allsensesfiring]

The same can be said about a mother desiring a loving relationship with their daughter, but the daughter treats her badly.

[@1RUTHGroup]

Exactly, however you choose. Our lives are not for the faint of heart. God's Grace keeps us!

[@dogmonday]

I just cannot fathom what drives a mother to act like this. My mom had behaviors like this too. But I cherish and adore my little girl. She’s such a jewel. We spend hours laughing about things and she’s only 11. Thinking about anyone treating a little girl badly just enrages me. The world is hard enough! Our daughters should be the pride of our lives!!!

[@JC-du6sn]

Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer 😇

[@lrx54]

Caution: always be sure your daughter knows that she is “daughter” and is respectful to you as mom. Too many kids have little respect (like mine) I wish I could go back and be more strict. 🌻🌻🌻

[@amysue1616]

They are. Little girls are such blessings. I didn’t have a narcissistic mother but my ex husband did and I could NEVER treat a child the way this woman treated her son. I see how it ruined his life and any chance at a healthy relationship. I’ve been watching how he treats my daughter and it doesn’t seem like he passes that narcissist tendencies to her but Ive armed her with knowledge so I hope she is saved from this mess. When she is old enough arm your daughters with knowledge and words like narcissist gaslighting scapegoating etc. it will save her from a lifetime of abuse.

[@dogmonday]

@@amysue1616 I’m so sorry for your husband!!! My heart breaks. I have a son and a daughter and they are the light in my life. I treasure their steps. ♥️. Prayers for your baby girl.

[@FreedomForever116]

My daughter is the pride of my life & my grandson is my heart.

[@jayashreebose2503]

Having a narcissist mom is a old story for me as I have accepted that as they grow old , it’s incurable and gets worse. I have came out of all the traumas I faced and whatever she is doing now is not effecting me in any ways. But the most important concern is since this sickness might go in genes, I shouldn’t be a narcissist to anyone or to my kids . I kept talking about it to my children. It’s important to have a open discussion in the family so no one else will turn into one of those monsters.

[@sabrebre2003]

Facts

[@kellyindependentjournalist]

I understand it intellectually but it is still just so hard to believe a mom can feel that way towards her daughter. I have this relationship with my mom and it just still FEELS UNREAL

[@kellyindependentjournalist]

I had a wonderful close grandma who is in heaven now. I am 53 and getting a replacement mom IS GREAT ADVICE! I am gonna find a lady to hug me

[@christenejackman]

Psalm 27 is a great comfort to me: "For my father and my mother have forsaken me, But the LORD will take me up. Teach me Your Way, O LORD, And lead me in a level path Because of my foes." I am letting God re-parent me. David came from a dysfunctional home, too.

[@yamiletsoler3464]

Same

[@Typeher]

What a HUGE things you have shared. Thanks a lot

[@MichellePettway]

Thank you

[@RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql]

Yes!!!!!! God used that in my life also. The parental rejection still does not make sense to me.

[@song8777]

Thank you

[@zigstars12]

I completely cut off my relationship with my narcissist mother (and family) 5 years ago, after decades of mistreatment. To say I feel better and am now thriving is a massive understatement. There's a HUGE difference in my life today. It was a hard decision to make & follow through with. I thought about it for years beforehand. I finally came to the decision that I would rather spend the rest of my life walking alone & barefoot through a desert on fire than ever be around those people again. I still feel this way. It was the best decision I ever made.

[@yamiletsoler3464]

Props to you for having the courage 👏

[@user-pettygirl]

I have been having that thought for sometime but I feel stuck and can't make that move😢

[@nmc1859]

​@@user-pettygirl set up boundaries. Respectfully tell the truth and be happy and they will cut you off. That's what happened to me

[@dulcemoutinho5820]

Me too. I feel much better without contact.

[@sue1190]

Same here. Good for you. May God bless you.

[@carolyna4484]

My mother was as nice as pie to other people and a nasty b#@%% to me for 25 years. 25 YEARS!!! She very clearly favoured my brother. Was never able to work out why she hated me from my teen years on. Never once told me she loved me and I accepted she was never going to change in my 30s. Relieved she got alzheimers and suffered terribly for 10 years. Didn't make any speech at her funeral and only felt peace that she was finally gone. This video is an absolute eye-opener..thankyou.

[@charlottestone3188]

It’s all we knew-the narcissistic pattern. We evolved into Narcissist Magnets, giving too many passes, insufficient boundaries. Moving on. . .💪

[@shirleyswaine4701]

I'm 70 and the way my mother treated me still hurts. Because of my age, NPD wasn't recognised when I was younger and it was only events after her death, that led me to learn about NPD. At last, after 58 years of confusion, I had the answer as to why she treated me as she did when I never did anything wrong, legally or morally, performed well at school, went to higher ed. supported myself as an adult etc. I had a brother, the classic 'Golden Child' despite me being the achiever and he was, as described, treated very differently. I was lucky in that at the age of 24, I moved to the other end of the country (England) and had a wonderful landlady who became my surrogate mother. When I was 27 and had just bought my first house and my mother was visiting, she walked out of my life forever after a petty row over washing up. I was fully independent, she no longer had any power over me, couldn't even tell me all the dreadful things the neighbours said about me. I was pushing back and she couldn't cope. Interestingly, one of the neighbours who apparently vilified me, had cause to write to me about some photographs and ended her letter "You did the right thing moving away." Typically, she was all things lovely to everyone else, kind, understanding etc. It's a clever trick because they know no-one would believe the daughter if she said anything negative about her which, imo, makes being the daughter of a narcissistic mother one of the loneliest places in the world. The only benefit I found of having a narcissistic mother? When she died I felt absolutely nothing, except perhaps a bit of relief.

[@HeatherMichet]

I'm right with you. Your words "Typically, she was all things lovely to everyone else, kind, understanding etc. It's a clever trick because they know no-one would believe the daughter if she said anything negative about her which, imo, makes being the daughter of a narcissistic mother one of the loneliest places in the world." expressed it perfectly for me. She turned her entire side of the family away from me with her lies about me. One of the reasons it can be so lonely, frustrating, and difficult to heal (and stay sane) is because society holds moms as "good" and untouchable when it comes to being mean or cruel, so there's no one to talk with about our experience as the daughter. This continues the sense of being the crazy and "bad" one. Thankfully, once I realized that I could only talk about this with a therapist and the few friends who also had narcissistic or super wounded mothers, I never spoke about my "mom stuff" to anyone but those who truly got it. Everyone else makes you, the daughter, the one with issues because after all "It's your Mother!!" - a common and frequent response from those who don't know or understand. ~ Thank you for sharing part of your story here. Blessings to you for a freer life and spirit.

[@shirleyswaine4701]

@@HeatherMichet Thank you for your kind and understanding comments. Before the condition was recognised it being the daughter of a narcissistic mother truly was the loneliest existence and oh yes, so many times I've had the "but she's your mother". For most of my life (bar a couple of times I lived with a boyfriend) I've lived without other people by choice* and people think it must be lonely but to me it's just blissfully peaceful. Mostly because my mother's martyr attitude I never wanted to marry but I also knew I couldn't cope with it because whenever a boyfriend was late for a date, I'd get in real state, thinking he'd dumped me/found someone better, or if another girl hit on him when we out, I didn't expect him to stay with me - why would he? Hadn't my mother told me, several times, that as soon as people found out what I was like they dropped me (this over normal childish/teenage squabbles). Still, I suppose now I can take some comfort in how frustrated she must have been for the last 30 years of her life when she couldn't get to me. *I say 'other people' because I have cats so don't regard myself as living alone.

[@sandieknudsen9794]

Although at the time, it seems everyone believes her over you, actually the truth is often more interesting. Later on, once you're away from her, some of those people open up to you about your mum and how you were treated, and that they really did witness what was going on. I am glad that they did open up to me, but I wish that they had at the time.

[@shirleyswaine4701]

@@sandieknudsen9794 Sadly, my 'away from her' was proper away i.e. nearly 400 miles so I was away from anyone who might have let me know they had some idea of what was happening.

[@HeatherMichet]

@@shirleyswaine4701 Living blissfully solo a lot myself, Shirley!! But then there are cats :) I'm so glad you've found peace and some understanding. As far as your mom's discomfort and frustration for how she chose to live her life (my mom too), I refer to a therapist friend's line: It must suck to be them!! I find that there's a fine line between offering compassion and empathy toward these mothers and others while not spiritually gaslighting ourselves and our horrendous experiences. ~ Be great to yourself and thanks so much for sharing more.

[@kayak9078]

I cut off contact with my mother 16 years ago. I’ve healed my heart and my life has been great. The lesson I’ve learned throughout my life is that there are many loving, caring, supportive females in this world. You can’t pick you family but you surely can pick who lifts you up🌷

[@JC-du6sn]

Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer 😇

[@smileyfacewithsunglasses7613]

I'm 45 years old, I cut ties with my mother about 5 years ago. It feels great and I don't regret it!

[@penneycason9269]

I’m eldest of five, four little brothers. In this article I recognise my mother and my relationship. Her death was the day I was freed. Born in 1962 adds the lack of mental health supports of that era.

[@abhiam18]

I am so thankful to God for providing me a loving, caring & selfless mother. Thanks mom for your endless ❤.

[@marymarler6915]

This video really nails the narcissistic mother. My mother liked to viciously attack and criticize, then deny that she said it, and turn it around and say I was hallucinating and that I was way too sensitive. All my life. Even though subconsciously I knew she hated me, I never knew the extent until I had a daughter. It all became very clear. And she’s finally ripped my only brother away from me with her pathological lies, jealousy and hatred. She did it, completely destroyed our family.

[@lisalang6994]

Omg yes

[@joanmarkham6678]

Hi Mary, I can totally relate to your comment! I have two older sisters and two younger brothers. My mom pitted us girls against each other all our lives. Now she’s brainwashing the brothers against us girls. We are 55 years up to 63. My oldest sister hasn’t talked to mom over a year now. It’s all so heartbreaking. Stay strong. 🙏

[@Angelina-bx5ry]

This wraps up my life as well.. it’s terrible. The manipulation and guilt tripping and lies is the worst. Everything is our fault but never theirs! They are perfect no matter what. She took my only sister away from me. Went through hell and back together and she brainwashed and lied through her teeth and was super jealous. No one should have to deal with what we did and It’s been almost two years since no contact. I am 20 now and I’m so happy I was able to leave and get out at 18 and my grandparents took me in. Doing better and thriving and being successful with out her. Don’t need a narcissist in your life and put you down in life. You deserve better.

[@user-gi7mz6kn5r]

My mom, too!

[@taralilarose1]

Sounds familiar but sadly my brothers don't see this at all.

[@OccupationalThpy]

Thank you for putting this out there. Not all moms are “trying their best” to love their kids. Some moms really do envy and destroy their daughter with glee.

[@mcrow9599]

yes, she always tries to top me, outdo me no matter what I say, she always seemed to have exactly the same experience, except it was always mor magnifiscent, more, greater .... she loved erasing me ... she competed against me! my own mother! there was no competition. i was clearly superior to her in every way because i had more opportunity to develop myself...but somehow, she always belittled my accomplishments and shamed me

[@user-ry1vi1jc7o]

Yes, I hate when people say your parents "did the best they could". No, they didn't. People who do bad things to their kids are not doing the best they can, and don't let anybody tell you otherwise. It is one of many sayings our society uses to keep people in abusive relationships.

[@__-fl3yt]

I used to hate mother days so much.

[@jenifernadeau]

​​​@@mcrow9599no one can make you feel shame or guilt or love or any feeling ever, unless you choose to feel it ;-) those are low vibration emotions that will manifest as physical illness and disease within the body. No contact is a wonderful thing because it allows you to develop as you choose, which is what you are here to do. Release all belief systems from family, Society, culture, and create your own from scratch. You get to reparent yourself, because everything you've ever look for has always been within you. Any appreciation or validation or accolades or safety or security comes from within. It is not necessary from the external world, if it shows up that's nice, but like the Buddhists say, ( if I remember it correctly..?) no praise or criticism should ever impact you positively or negatively❤.. something like that LOL. But once you are grounded and balanced consistently, there will be nothing, not a family member, not an employer, not a rejection letter from a job interview, not a dating partner deciding you guys are not a good match... that can knock you out of balance😊 stay fully present and just observe thoughts, because you are not your thoughts. Then what someone else does says thinks or feels never has anything to do with you it's only a reflection of what's going on within them at that given moment. The universe never distorts a vibrational offering. So whatever qualities you want in another, become that. The Universe has no choice but to bring you whatever vibrational frequency you are at. And if you draw something to you that you don't like, recognize the lesson in it and how it is trying to refine and evolve you even further. Sit-in gratefulness because that is a wonderful vibration, find your joy everyday and do what you are passionate about. Others have to rise up to meet you or they fall away. Let that flow away because many are not meant to come on the journey with you, especially "family". It's just a word. Your true connected Soul tribe will show up as you start your inner child healing❤

[@jenifernadeau]

​​@@user-ry1vi1jc7o Yes people will do what they can to make themselves comfortable even if it means harming another. Misery loves company. However There is a little of Truth to what you mentioned, because people cannot teach what they don't know. They cannot give what they don't have. If they didn't do their own inner child healing work, they are only going to repeat the patterns through the ancestral lineage. Where they choose to do healing or not has nothing to do with how they feel about you, they are living in a constant state of fear and emptiness and navigating the world from their childhood trauma. With that knowledge, hopefully that helps you forgive. Doesn't mean you have to participate in a relationship. But it Sounds like you are the chosen one the ancestors have been waiting on .. to do healing for the entire lineage. The way to do that is start with yourself first. The change must come from within, and it will make everyone uncomfortable LOL that's the fun part. Their immaturity will be off the charts. Set the example and be the lighthouse, not the storm. Keep that focus on you and your passions and your goals and dreams. What is meant for you will never pass you by. Breathe and Trust❤ and speak to your ancestors and Angels anytime you like 😇

[@wysta01]

I needed this video. especially after having my children. I love my kids and that doesn't mean I'll always get things right, but I will NEVER cross the boundaries my mother did.

[@suzenrodriguez9647]

Not a single memory of love. Never hugged me, never said she loved me. I was an object in the house. When I was 12 years old I remember sitting in the bathroom counter looking at my skin in the mirror and she popped her head in and said "I was much more beautiful then you when I was your age." She has not been in my life most of my adult life. It doesn't bother me at all. I have two girls. I loved them like I wanted to be loved, it healed me. My girls are nothing like me because I raised them right and their love centered me and they brought me peace.

[@Acceptancetoday]

My mother never once has said I look beautiful, even on my wedding day when she took it upon herself to cut into my wedding cake and start eating it and destroying its appearance before any pictures with the cake. One small memory

[@purpleflowers92]

That's horrible , My mom made sure my wedding days was an embarrassing she walj at in the middle of the reception. When it was time for the valz she wasnt present when the wedding planner announced now the father and the mother of the brude may step up . My mom was a no show.

[@lisalynn9696]

Wow that is sickening sorry to hear this but I can definitely believe it she needs to be the star of the show is somehow she knows what she is doing. This reminded me of a Christmas party for the family I made a beautiful vegetable dish that was broccoli is shaped like a Christmas tree with tomatoes as the ornaments and she destroyed it and said the kids can't have broccoli that big and just ruined the whole thing... I thought I don't understand... and now I do, she didn't want me to show her up. They are the jezabels.

[@lisalynn9696]

So sorry but I believe it.. also reminds me of the beautiful shaped Christmas tree I made with broccoli and tomatoes for ornaments she destroyed before he could bring it to the party made up her own rules steamed broccoli was too big for the kids started picking it out it look like a sad bowl of broccoli and tomatoes 🥀

[@joseenoel8093]

Poor you, I let them know I was marrying and none were invited! Both parents acted immature at my older siblings' and done is done! Still they smeared me, all samo jamo even though they knew I could careless, weird!

[@joseenoel8093]

​@@lisalynn9696whenever I hand made a craft and gave it as a gift 🎁 it disappeared and she couldn't answer when I asked where it went!

[@bindibud23]

Spot on! I remember my female biological parent would try to set my brother against me. When I asked why, she said, "Haven't you ever heard of sibling rivalry?" Well, yes, I had. But I'd never heard of parents actively working to promote it.

[@christiegross1453]

I had this dynamic too with younger half sisters. Still to this day she strives to have us adult women fighting with each other. She often succeeds actually.

[@TSD438]

Sadly, they do.

[@003k9]

That's so wicked and delusional, creating friction for no reason. Good energy to you all, reciprocate the high vibrations 🙌🏽☀️

[@latinalegend2000]

Yep. My mother would tell my brother she loved him more than me and occasionally tell me she loved me more than him. The more I think about it as I'm older (because my brothers dad and my dad were actually uhh.. best friends at one point) it weirds me out if she ever got like a.. sick kick out of it. Like did she think of our fathers when she would do this, was this like a round two of her attention seeking? She loved the ole divide and conquer

[@latinalegend2000]

I love how you said that btw "my female biological parent" 😭😭 I'm going to have to borrow that one sometime!!😂

[@hling4e]

You described exactly my situation… for years, I felt worthless, because no matter what I do, she will not be happy and in my worst moments… she will even make me feel worst… it’s horrible, I started to realise it, when I was dating men that were exactly like her… they would literally say the same things… after several relationships I realised that I was yearning for the treatment because it was familiar. Thank you for explaining 😢 Lately, I have been telling her, I would even block her from my phone and I live in another country. I am actually no longer sad, I have come to acceptance that she will never see what she does and how she only tries to destroy me, so she can say " I told you" I have already, told her… what I am expressing. I still love her as a mom from a far ❤ 😊

[@hirezgirl6478]

What was perplexing over the years was watching my narcissistic mother be worshiped and admired by others. At one time, I actually portrayed her as a wonderful, kind, and a giving individual because I saw her through the eyes of others, and since I was the only one being mistreated. I carried the burden of being the one with the problem for most of my life and couldn't understand her hatred for me. It wasn't until my 40's with years of self-growth and learning did I realize what was occurring and for the first time, I saw her with my own eyes. The constant and unjustly beratement, the avoidance of my big milestones, the ongoing jealousy, the absence of compliments, the passive-aggressive comments, and her speaking ill of me to her friends (and relatives) and the list goes on. And true, if you call them out on their behaviors, it causes narcissistic injury and she'll stonewall me for great lengths at a time, and never with an apology.

[@krissyp7219]

Wow. This is the first time I have heard anyone understand the difference between how my mother treated my brother and I. You are absolutely spot on.

[@angelalott596]

Yes! I totally agree. My brother does no wrong. I am everything that’s wrong…

[@cam7771]

My brother was the "Prince" he's also a toxic Narc!

[@lindajakuboski4527]

​@@cam7771same here!!! I'm estranged from him. He was always the GC. I'm the scapegoat. I called him the Prince but now he is also a demon. My mother was very jealous of me. And took out her insecurities and unhappiness on me.

[@joanna0988]

​@angelalott596 Michelle Obama once said, "Mother's raise their daughters and love their sons" 😢 Perfectly describes my childhood.

[@niqabi_diaries]

My entire life my mom sabotaged everything I ever had From my education to my relationships to my work to my drivers license if it could get me a better life she would support me and when everything ran out and I was on the last leg she would take it from me. It’s absolutely sickening

[@lisalynn9696]

I went through the same thing sabotage my relationships and I didn't even realize it until now 37 years later pretty hard to believe when they supposed to be your caretakers and love you that they would even.. also the career that I wanted was sabotaged. It's actually disgusting that I listened for so long.

[@girlwithpearls]

My mother as well.. finally see the truth

[@user-pp7rf9wq1y]

It’s taken me a long time and a lot of heartache to see who she really is.

[@karlabritfeld7104]

How does that make her a narcissist?

[@nikkinorton8310]

Exactly! I cannot understand it. She ruined every relationship. I left home at 17 and finally got my license and bought a car. She took my college money. She tried to sabotage me graduating from high school. ( thankfully I had a great principal and supportive teachers. ). But she did everything in her power to ruin my reputation. I went on to college ( without my money that her dad and my dad had saved for me, because she took it.). We redeveloped the relationship ( because we are told " no one loves you like your mother. You believe that because you love your kids more than anything). And after several years of semi normal and getting her own life and career, she reverted back to the same manipulative, controlling and abusive behavior.

[@marynewstead3731]

Absolutely right on. I cut any ties with my mom 3 years ago and I should have done it 30 years ago. Now that my brother, right on with this one too, is spending all her money while she is in a nursing home, she is reaching out to me thru other people, telling them she doesn’t understand why I won’t visit her. Also I now realize why I have been attracted to older female friends. I have been so blessed to have some great ones in my life. Keep up the good work. So many daughters need this!

[@TallHobbit17]

I’ve been confused about whether my mom is truly a narcissist since she doesn’t do most of the really abusive behavior. She’s mainly neglectful, manipulative, triangulates us siblings against each other, and deeply cares about her public image, which I’ve wondered is fully narcissistic or mainly her church surroundings. Even some of my siblings have theorized she’s a narcissist, but have the same hesitations I do since she’s not as extreme as most examples. Either way, this video has helped provide some clarity and I’m proud of myself for having already followed some of the tips like cutting her out of my life for a while as I healed and finding a new mother figure in my oldest sister. Thank you for the video!

[@krisskross8985]

You just described my life. My mother is 82 and I am 61 and she is not well. For my entire life I was the family scapegoat. I became her counsellor at a young age and always forgave her for the way she treated me. My brother is the golden child and was picked on by my alcoholic father. My mom always stepped up to protect and over compensate for my brother. Lucky for me I have moved far away and now can end all contact with them.

[@NakedNarcissism]

I am so sorry that you endured this. I am glad you found some validation here so be sure to stick around. Proud of you for going no contact!

[@kandiceomalley6301]

I am so sorry you went through this. I can empathize because my family dynamics are nearly identical. Blessings to you and healing.

[@karlabritfeld7104]

Your mother does not sound like a narcissist.

[@jennihubby2877]

I can relate. God Bless you!

[@georgiaamanatides4207]

Please don't relent. You are doing what is right and healthy for you. They will not change. Don't allow others to try and convince you otherwise. It is better to break your bread alone and in peace than to have to live miserably.

[@hannw7]

My mom hated me so much that she beat me from birth, humiliated me, emotionally and verbally abused me until I was 32 years old. That was 20 years ago. Hugs to all the women with abusive mothers. ♥️

[@Crayon4632]

It's truly sad and horrible when you realise how many of us were completely robbed of the chance to grow into a happy and healthy human being and barely even know what "normal" is because of one abusive narcissist who essentially made us their enemy from birth. Normal people can't understand us because their psychology is normal and they have happy, loving parents who love each other and their children. I even have DID because of it.

[@TH-xx9cn]

I am so sorry to hear, you were physically abused! I hope you are living your best life now, knowing you deserve better.

[@serin77]

thats what im going through now. I want to move away. but she hides my ID and takes my money. she tells me to move out but when i find a place she doesnt let me go. i dont know how much longer i can do this.

[@Blondipidy]

I had a narcissistic mother, but as a young child I never really liked her so as I got older it became easier to see her for who she actually was. Haven´t had anything to do with her for over 20 years. I am not angry, nor hurt by her anymore. I simply feel more sorry for her and wonder what it is that happened to her to cause her to be this way. She doesn´t control me whatsoever emotionally. I´m actually grateful for this experience because it taught me about about my own resiliency. I am no victim and will never be one.

[@orchidlily6590]

You described my entire childhood. At 51 I am in therapy and going through the healing process. I cut off my family years ago and have minimal contact with them.

[@NakedNarcissism]

Thank you for sharing your experience. It's incredibly brave of you to prioritize your own healing and well-being by seeking therapy and distancing yourself from toxic family dynamics. Cutting off contact with family members can be a difficult but necessary step towards reclaiming your mental and emotional health. It's validating to hear that the content resonated with your own experiences, and I'm glad to know that you're actively engaging in the healing process. Therapy can be a powerful tool for processing past traumas and developing healthier coping mechanisms for the future. Remember, you're not alone in this journey, and there are many others who understand and empathize with your experiences. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who uplift and validate your feelings, and continue to prioritize your own growth and healing. Thank you for sharing your story, and I wish you strength and perseverance as you continue on your path to healing. Take care.

[@kevinshinn2977]

I’m a father who was married to a narcissist for 30 years and watched her impact our two children. Your words describe the mess I am trying to clean up now that she is dead. Thank you.

[@MoonLyteRaes]

Thank you for trying

[@ksenijaorel6386]

Good you are doing that, my dear father, never understood what is going on with his wife and could not save my sister and me.......

[@Chippy88]

My father would say the same thing that you’re saying right now as a matter of fact, he does say it! It’s very sad and I difficult spot for you to be in

[@sharonwise3433]

​@nikkithompson9194 a lot too late...

[@MoonLyteRaes]

@sharonwise3433 it's never too late to try and heal relationships.

[@samanthagonzalez5053]

This makes so much sense to me now. Every time someone would compliment me in front of my mom she would always reply with something extremely negative about me.

[@Crayon4632]

Yes same here! Still does it the bitch

[@katedaley8974]

Yes I agree. When I got engaged she turned to my future husband and said “you’re a brave man. You know what she’s like”. I never forgot that. There was another time when she found out I was seeing a guy and we had a disagreement and then she threw her hands up in the air and said “you’re on your own now kiddo”, emotionally abandoning me (from my perspective). My brother was the golden haired child and could do no wrong. She did everything for my brother but I just got whatever … I couldn’t even go to netball once a week as my brothers soccer was priority always. I still remember her always saying “you can go without” “you have to learn how to do it on your own” “hurry up, you take too long” (when things are getting done at a reasonable pace) and all my feelings and emotions were laughed at and minimised by both her and my brother. This just added to my existing anxiety.

[@dellatavarez9442]

Are so sick

[@ElisaAvigayil]

OMgosh it just clicked. My mom was very overweight from when I was born until when she had a gastric bypass at age 50. I grew up thinking I was fat, because she constantly told me how fat I was, or she told her friends or our family how fat I was. When I got married, I was 22 years old and weighed 113 pounds. My whole life I thought I was fat. This took me years to resolve. And as I've gotten older, my mom has gotten meaner to me; every time I see her, she verbally attacks me, so I have no choice but to grey rock her. This makes so much sense. I've been wondering for years why she hates me, but now I realize that it's her, not me; she can't help it.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

She doesn’t even know she named me “Worthy of Love.” 😢