Why Narcissists Play Anger Games 💢

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. Since creating his KZbin channel, his videos have received more than 115 million views.
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#narcissism #narcissist #narcissisticmindgames #control #controlling #gaslighting #gaslighter #relationship #toxic #toxicrelationships

[@Hatbox948]

My experience with a narcissist was definitely that they loved to pick fights.

[@flaviovms]

unending energy to use circular arguments, never solving anything.

[@tenningale]

I can't stand how they gaslight and project their problems, flaws, and behaviors onto other people rather than focusing on their own issues and self-analysis.

[@yahyaknow]

Lol! The 20 somthing unwed multiple daddy baby maker renter in the house beside me has yelled at me calling me "CRACKHEAD" 4 times. Uh, I wouldn't know crack if I saw it. I'm a MN retiree in Florida. These vermin are so predictable with their projecting. It's like being on Jerry Springer. It's front row for the clown show. In fact, she was most likely propped up in front of the Springer show in diapers. Raised on vile crap.

[@scrappydappydoo]

When the devil can't get to you, he sends in a narcissist. Thank you for helping innocent victims of narcissistic abuse, Dr. C. ☺️💕

[@georgianapowers4062]

So true

[@scrappydappydoo]

@@georgianapowers4062 🙏💕

[@cheriethompson5699]

Amen exactly 💯

[@BaraSchmidt]

No accountability means no trust in a relationship. Someone who holds YOU accountable for them is NOT to be trusted. Know the truth. Get - and stay - Healthy!!

[@yukio_saito]

Their chaos is theirs. I don't take care of it.

[@pamelar5868]

❤

[@dianearena2516]

You have taught me so much. I used to get so angry & respond that way when he triggered me. After watching you for the past year or so, I've learned to disengage. It just doesn't matter what he says, it's what I believe inside of me that matters. I don't need his approval or feel the need to try to convince him to see it from my point of you. It's so much more peaceful. I'm slowly letting go, I can feel it...finally! Thank you Dr C!! ❤ With your help, I'm becoming a person of peace with... Dignity, Respect & Civility. I can't thank you enough!

[@caroleminke6116]

Go gray rock! Dr C saved my sanity as well as my life ❤️‍🩹

[@elcee7800]

You can’t disengage when you’re in the middle of doing something, when they continually need correction like a dam toddler all because they don’t give a …. about anything!

[@HEisWorthy-4C]

A sad & wasted way to live. : (

[@IzabelaWaniek-i1x]

Absolutely true, the only way to win at the narcissist’s games is not to play, disengage completely. They are committed to provoking you in any way possible in order to justify their dysfunctional behaviours. That will stop at nothing, no blow is too low or nasty. They are mentally ill people and we have to radically accept it and do not personalise anything they say or do. Thank you 🙏 dr Carter ❤

[@DavidPerez-zs8im]

They despaired.. despaired for attention..I'm not listening to any of their noises..Im practicing the silence..

[@JenGable-Justeson]

Or they try to bait you so you react, and then they play the victim.

[@shawny979]

Yup.. This recently happened to me.

[@flaviovms]

Correct. Never think they'll use logic. Instead they'll try to win the argument portraying emotions as facts!

[@phoenixrising441]

Dr Carter dropping some serious facts!!! Love this 👍👍

[@nikkibaning361]

Wouldn't play the game with the narc in my life, and she flew into a rage and triangulated our mother. Glad to have found such helpful, validating videos!

[@nn103]

Very well put, thank you.

[@Hydrocarbonateable]

My boss was like this. We shared an office space and he would spend literally all day trying to provoke me in triggering or upsetting conversations because he could not handle being alone by himself with his own thoughts, and if he was agitated, he HAD to find someone else to be better than. When I refused to play that game and was silent, then he criticized my silence. When i tried to leave the room to do other tasks, he eventually banned me from doing other tasks, then from leaving at all. When I spoke out about this, I was raged at, and when I eventually pushed back against one of these ragings by refusing to engage in the conversation, I was fired for not obeying his directions. They will strip you of every autonomy just to keep their mental state constant. Was so gross that he only hired financially vulnerable young women just out of school so that he could control them better, too. Even if they're not doing it consciously, these people know what they're doing and won't change. Run away before they can harm you, because harm is all that will come in the end.

[@kuukuyankson2033]

I'm truly amazed at the proliferation of these creatures. Sorry you had to go through that but hope you found something better to do.

[@trishsnoots3841]

Yes!!! I had a boss whose reputation went like this. Every time he would call someone into his office we would wink at each other and say, don't forget to take the k-y jelly with you. This man was a human tower of rage!! He knew who/when to charm, but he took his power position to degrade people. When I gave him one week notice of my resignation, he piled stacks of books and magazines from his office that night. Next day when I came in, he angrily shoved them at me and as they slid across my desk I raised my arms and thought--if even one of those books hits my 7 month pregnant belly, there's gonna be a huge lawsuit here. A couple years later I heard he was fired. Guess you get what's coming to you in the end. He got his and I ended up with a beautiful baby and a happy life

[@Nina-w7m8q]

They will do anything to make you look bad. Keep your feelings to yourself because if you share them, they will explode and take it as an attack.

[@salliegallegos918]

Block and go no contact forever!

[@elizabethmoore3464]

This is such a painful and confusing path, having to deal with a real deal narc, I can't imagine not having access to videos like this that validate my experience. Without this free therapy I think I would quite literally become as wrought and broken as the narc. Thank you for what you do.

[@HEisWorthy-4C]

Dr C, hoping you feel valued in giving your wise counsel to all of us. Some of us would still be 'floating' around wondering what kind of tangled mess we got ourselves in to. When we are trying to make the world a better place in our small sphere of influence, in come the clowns!! Thank you for investing your time & healthy perspective into us. You are on solid ground & helping us to land there too!! Thanks again!!!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks so much. That means a lot to me.

[@nancytwigg4631]

Absolutely. I love Dr. C's solid ground, safety, and health found in the knowledge he shares.

[@Duckfarmer]

Yep' I Swear He Pretend's to Be Angry So He Can Pout and i"ll Be Wondering what's wrong with Baby Boy

[@SherryTomlinson-mk7gm]

Dr. Carson, what I here noticed is all manipulation has emotional content to it. Us human beings are very emotional creatures. I was dealing with a narc and I shut down my emotions. The dude got real quiet and then started to try to trigger me. Every bit of this was emotional. I am really seeing this with the narcs I have had to interact with. It’s all about emotions. And of course their total disrespect and lack of boundaries

[@yukio_saito]

"Win without fighting" -- Sun Tzu The best strategy is to not participate in their game. Let them stay in chaos. 😁

[@PatriotChick]

True facts 💯

[@allans7281]

Relationships are hard enough as it is without the toxic behaviors of a narcissist Learn the signs and keep away from them Thank you Doctor for your incredible insight

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You’re quite welcome

[@Toshineko]

If the narcissists can elicit a reaction out of you, that means they can control you. That's why controlling your reactions is your superpower when dealing with a narcissist.

[@michelepascoe6068]

Don't engage. Absolutely. No regrettable reaction or pleading. Just calm confidence. Thank you Dr C

[@kat-75]

The continued testimonies are teally bad 👎. Their thinking( not knowing exactly which stalker) is evil pretty much. Their anger affected me negatively, but they won NOTHING. They are criminals, period.

[@julieolivas3453]

any time you disagree, you are punish

[@fredhoyt6900]

How to respond to people that say, "You deserved what you got for not sticking up for yourself" ?

[@roxymovie3938]

You could answer,"This is none of your business!" There is nobody who is allowed to judge over you.

[@caroleminke6116]

Gaslighting

[@scrappydappydoo]

Victim blaming is a coward's answer.

[@flaviovms]

Good luck facing unending arguments with someone who mistakes emotions as facts.

[@michellehardy9014]

100 % I lived with one for 17 years and had no idea what was going on or why he was even the way he was. I know, I was never the problem it was all 100 % my ex Tim Hardy from Fayette Alabama

[@amandaliverpool3374]

They get a kick out of it. Usually directed at you !!!

[@cherylanderson1308]

Exactly right

[@rosieE121]

They use anger and disagreement to sidetrack attention from their shortcomings.

[@Denise-y2c]

Important. Do Not Engage.

[@clairedavis8564]

Omgoodness, we need a planet or state where only Narcissists live. Can you imagine that Soap Opera??? 😂😂😂BEST REALITY T.V EVER!!!!😭😭😭😭

[@nancymorrison9978]

I wish I had known all this before I realized my daughter is a narcissist.

[@tommack2832]

I always said about my ex, she was never happy unless she was unhappy. She loved to argue and marginalize me! Most people try to avoid conflict, she created conflict for her own amusement. I always fought back and called her out. When I stopped engaging her, she went after the kids and created a lot of resentment against me. After 30yrs, I divorced her. I told told her that I love her, but I didn't like her. She was such a fool

[@JincyJohn-v7c]

Last week on a travel together for purchasing product for our shop we had a small conversation and in the middle of the conversation for no reason he started getting angry and blaming so I looked to the other side and was sad emotionally for this kind of behaviour always and in two second out of nowhere he slapped me on my cheeks The reason for his slapping was because I showed sadness May Almighty save people from such characters

[@Invisishield]

Internal chaos is right

[@TBJuggernaut]

One time my narc brother got into a fight with a driver and he as in the wrong, my brother, and he blamed the driver for his own insecurity. He's a bully since childhood and I cut off contact with him and the rest of the family.

[@GloriaGonzalez-zz4wp]

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 thank you Sir 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@yahyaknow]

Say this verbatim to the narc after they dish out the reactionary abuse: (verbatim!) "You shouldn't LET ME anger you so much. You LET ME anger you." It's a chump stumper for sure!

[@CoachK10190]

Let em be angry. They suck

[@maureenwilson6031]

Yes indeed.....never take the bait. Silence is golden.

[@yotubr08]

Don''t ENGAGE!!! So Important to remember.

[@daisylu1973]

Very Wise 🤗 Thank You 💐

[@maxinemoo6972]

They bait.

[@susanmunoz7688]

I love healthy!

[@franciscocardenas5758]

Well put!

[@julieremington7103]

Thank you so much!

[@MzNettyBird]

😐very exhausting

[@Merlijnvv]

It's funny, the word 'hatemanship' just popped into my head. It requires some kind of special craft...

[@hannahb3854]

This is exactly what I’m experiencing at the moment from my nutty neighbour she constantly projects her angrier at me by slamming doors stamping around her home like a toddler and banging objects at night to keep me awake…… as much as I want to retaliate I don’t I’m quite and just ignore her

[@LarryA-w4j]

By watching your videos I have learned not to feed on their drama sign Cynthia Smith

[@elizabethash4720]

Great advice thankyou Doctor Carter.😊

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Glad it was helpful!

[@KevinMurray-py5nb]

Do narcissistic people know what they are

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Check out this video. kzbin.info/www/bejne/hIbKl2qDgtmIfa8

[@cheyenneoliver5835]

You're spot on!

[@isabelvidal3584]

Narcissists are bulling you all the time😢

[@TiktokFAFO]

Do not engage. It takes time to get here.

[@suzie2062]

Thank you for sharing!!❤

[@RG9r0n1n]

They're all roman emperor wannabes. I call them "Emperors"

[@StellerScope-d8h]

lol

[@cheriethompson5699]

Thanks so much for the advice and update

[@MadaTangdilallo]

Aku tidak marah Father ❤❤❤❤🙏❤❤❤😊😊😊

[@StalkedHuman]

I want to broaden the light here. I would like to point that people in general trust dishonest manipulative horrible people over the honest generous noble and kind. This is the "emotional" intelligence in a corrupt society being active. Right now, HUMAN RESOURCE departments everywhere is codifying this obscenity. It becomes the intuitive example of behavior.

[@catherinesmith7129]

But if you do not engage still they are doing it for the audience and them being the actor. Then their discussions are imbetween them and the flying monkeys they are grooming. They play things and misrepresent things; now they play their falsified reality they wish to portray things as.

[@brookalook417]

My husband accuses me of being an unsupportive wife when I don't follow his rage. Calling me unsupportive is his go-to . Sorry, but not sorry, I won't support unhealthy behavior. Still never goes over well.

[@StellerScope-d8h]

my soul is so tired my partner does this every other day if not everyday......im so tired man it sucks. then he refuses to participate in his own life then when things start to predictably fall apart (like if you fail to pay your bills things start to get shut off or the bill adds up DUH!) he blames me or our relationship (which is still blaming me) for all his problems in life. "if it wasnt for this stupid relationship I could think clearly and handle my life!" wtf????? he is 57 years old I am 44, I feel stupid.

[@mussethecat.7020]

My mom ruined our daughters graduation party, caused a Iamgoinghome scene and left during dinner, why? Lack of attention. Told her that at a party for xx, it is not always possible to give everybody the same amount of attention. We have nok spoken in 4 days. Was I wrong to say that to her? Idk..

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You were definitely not wrong to suggest she grows up.

[@maxinesimonelli7383]

I'm healing

[@jill4268]

💯✔️💯✔️💯✔️💯✔️

[@Charlotte_breathes_fire]

My garbage mother's favorite pastime.

[@dustinscott6974]

This is interesting in the fact it insinuates that a narcs triggers are their responsibility to address yet relationship coaches seem to elevate validating your partner's feelings and "impact over intent". So how does this work when they feel entitled to their skewed views, triggers, projecting and if you address their skewed views or the fact their triggers are their responsibility you are "gaslighting" them and invalidating their experience? So if all feelings are valid but may not be true, what is the answer here?

[@Whatnow90]

100%

[@DB-vl8hj]

Do you offer counseling?

[@MaryJames-sn4eh]

🎯🎯💯💯

[@jerrisizemore1636]

I like chaos thay can win baby all is well I love this shit don't be stupid what would I do other wise or am I allowed to do other wise get ur mind right mines wrong I win when I say I do eat that and I will get revenge everytime and engage ur and who ever else as I see fit and don't give a fk what or how I go or die

[@GloriaWatkins-c2u]

There too busy correcting lookin like hel. Adding few more scares of hardness to the arillery people . Laugh ha ha

[@sushibar777]

Trump?

[@gomesdaniel8602]

tDs?

[@fatimasankoh1868]

I don't engage in you in Jesus name Amen thanks Lord

[@caroleminke6116]

Life saving info ❤️‍🩹

[@daisylu1973]

💯%🎯

[@Peacefulnessxxx]

My ex was diagnosed with narcissism and have to say that some still want to be good people.