Why narcissists target "open" people

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[@ari-jv]

My vulnerability is a gift. I will never let the narcissist take it away from me. I’ll just be careful with who I give it to.

[@donnaroosa4469]

Me too

[@izzylandyt]

No matter how careful and cautious you are, the narcissists will still find a way to get you. Being in a society with tons of enablers makes it all easier for narcissists to prey on us.

[@eirintowne]

​@@izzylandyt Very, very true! I regret my decision to remain vulnerable every single time I interact with people other than my husband and daughter, but still make the same conscious choice again every time because 1. It's the right thing to do 2. It makes my life reacher in emotional experiences, even if a higher proportion of them affect me negatively 3. My choice may cause one person to slightly change one future interaction with another human being, and that might make the experience slightly less horrible 4. Rings in water. That is the one way I know that I can improve the world for all future generations

[@SkyePhoenix]

Yes! Well said, and I agree!

[@SkyePhoenix]

​@@izzylandyt Narcissists only have power over us if we give it to them.

[@milkywaypride99]

Narcissists are predators. They have an amazing ability to key in on traits that they can exploit.

[@hasansarhan9296]

💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@damienwelch9067]

❤❤❤

[@M_SC]

I have a lot of family with various narcissistic characteristics but I don’t feel they each have enough (except one maybe) to get an actual diagnosis. It’s so chilling when you notice some of the most predatory ones like this one in a person (they live far away so i only see them once a very few years and it takes a while)

[@tlove6932]

Excellently stated 💯👏🏻💯👏🏻💯

[@rickydale1347]

Exactly. Everything is viewed, studied and put into action to feel worthy. Anything to not feel less. They have less brain gray matter due to their abuse. The gray matter is the empathy etc… They never felt compassion as a child therefore they are unable to feel it as an adult for another. They are older children who feel worthless and live to feel like someone very worthy. When you don’t have it you can’t share it. They chase their supply/good feeling of worth like a crack head chases his first crack high. It isn’t there for them cause it is dependent on the approval of others, not from within. If coming from within like healthy people it’s there 100% of the time. But relying on others it comes and goes so they chase it. They can’t be happy. They are the only disorder that can’t helped. Can’t help someone who doesn’t see themselves as unhealthy. I say ok suffer and die.

[@TheDjbutta]

Open people are likely to give a narcissist lots of information that could be used as a weapon by misrepresenting that information to someone else later.

[@kayann100]

This 😢

[@SunShine-bs2ud]

Don't let the ugly in other kill the beauty in you 🙏 you look beautiful by way Dr. Ramani ❤

[@alexbaird2670]

My narc mother brought me up to be "open", "honest" and "agreeable" and it destroyed my life. I could never understand WHY I was ALWAYS a target of bullying and the fall guy. I was never taught to keep the vulnerable parts of myself back from people which meant I was always the target for exploitation. This has also meant I don't have the tools to protect myself in organisations where politics is the way to get ahead and in life in general. We are brought up to be repeatedly destroyed.

[@miriamcollins7587]

I could have written these words myself!!!! Thank you for sharing!!

[@websurfer5772]

Your comment just gave me a whole new perspective on what's been going on with me. Thank you. Sorry to hear you're going through it too though.

[@gertrudewest4535]

You live in a sick society.

[@reesedaniel5835]

Yes these narc parents "raise" their Scapegoat child to self sabotage and to be easy prey for predators. Because the narc parent (usually the mother) does NOT want that child (usually a daughter) to outshine her in any way or to make her look like the liar she truly is!!!

[@ardent9422]

A narcissist may tell you that you need to be more open or flexible, as they try to manipulate and gaslight you. I was like this as well, but I’ve learned to pay attention to my gut instinct and it lets me know when I need to pull back on that openness. It makes me sad because I used to be excited about meeting new people.

[@tims9434]

Always trust your gut. Don't disregard your brain and heart but always trust your gut over the other two.

[@izzylandyt]

Reminds me of the snake in Jungle Book going “truuuust in meeeee”

[@Maggie-ll6iz]

Yes, this happened to me too. They push and manipulate way past comfortable boundaries. I learned to be very careful if I opened a door a little, they’d push the door wide open and never let it close again, no matter your feelings.

[@SkyePhoenix]

I can relate to this. I've always been more open minded and curious though. After going through a few relationships with narcissists, I feel a bit closed off emotionally but still open minded and tolerant of differences in people. I love beauty and art. My heart is still pure...even after everything I've been through. I've learned to be more self reliant and self loving. That's the good that came out of it, and my daughters. I love my kids. I'm grateful that they're grown though, and I don't have to deal with their fathers.

[@eirintowne]

It totally sucks to be in your position! Your brain is just trying to keep you alive, but it sucks so much joy out life

[@makaylahollywood3677]

Open, creative, sensitive, emotional...i used to feel bad about my qualities- now, i cherish these traits.

[@MS-kd6qv]

I was very open plus projected my goodness onto everyone, then I closed up too much. Now I am learning discernment and not fearing anyone.

[@googleuser1711]

After 9 years, my covert narcissistic “best friend” discarded me for not being open and honest enough.

[@reesedaniel5835]

Because the narc could no longer "feed" on you....

[@CatBites20]

Always been an open book, agreeable, flexible. accommodating peacemaker. I am that tree hugger, nature lover that can literally feel energy. EVERYTHING in my gut told me upfront that something doesn't vibe right, but yet he somehow managed to talk me into bypassing all rational and gut "feels". Got sucked in because he had "been through so much" (or so I was told and that was a lie). Being an empath is a gift. I will never stop being that person, but also, PLEASE know that openness & empathy make you the ultimate supreme target lock down for a narcissist. If your gut/vibes/spidey senses/rationale say "RUN", for the love of YOURSELF, listen and RUN! Don't waste your life on a "masked-man" (woman) that isn't and will never be real, open or honest.

[@jacquib256]

You are, in my opinion, a super empath! I resonate with all you say! Being so open, reading between the bs, yet letting things run ‘3 strikes’ and then I speak mind! My pride has also been ‘my downfall’ but I stand by ‘being real’, honest and high,y empathetic! At my mature age, I’m still learning but I am dealing with the biggest challenge yet! It’s cost me everything and almost my sanity AND it seems Narcissists can be complete strangers, who want your ‘power’… and when challenged seek revenge on a grand scale! I WILL NEVER LET THEM PUT ME IN A CORNER! Positive is… I now understand why I am the magnet, and it’s a ‘lonely’ (being misunderstood) place sometimes!

[@hoominwifquats]

Yes. Trust your instincts, they are a survival mechanism. If your situation feels like something you'd expect to see in the backstory segment of a 48 Hours episode, your pattern recognition system is telling you now is the time for the trespass/TRO if you don't think you can safely escape by breaking off relations in person. However you do it, get help and get out.

[@CatBites20]

@@jacquib256 no doubt I will be ascending into the "lose everything at a seasoned age" scenario. A lot of effort and years of hard work down the drain. That being said, what is the value of my health, my sanity? Priceless, and irreplaceable. The "education" that comes the hard way from living many years with a narcissist costs much. Dr Ramani's videos are battle reinforcements that educate folks on how to never let one side-wind up on us again. Thank you Dr Ramani!

[@jacquib256]

@@CatBites20 I’m so relieved to have found Dr Ramani recently… she saved my sanity as I knew I wasn’t nuts, as judged by others who can never understand how isolating it is - and tbh I now love isolating after being that over sociable person in the room 🕺

[@martabright8956]

Wow! This one hit me right between the eyes. It filled in every tiny blank and crack of confusion about why I seem to be such a magnet for the narcissistic predator. Proceed with caution fellow open minded souls, but don't EVER let anybody kill your curiosity and geniune interest in the world and what makes it tick.

[@chayo4537]

You can't let it go. So how could anyone else 🤣

[@reesedaniel5835]

@@chayo4537 Spoken like a true gaslighter....😄

[@florencia2771]

My personality is high in openness. I love traveling, exploring, learning about cultures, languages, art, interested in human rights for everyone etc. Yes, I have to be aware and keep an eye on predators. Oftentimes “open” people are also kind, and the narcissists takes this as a weakness or lack of intelligence when it’s actually the opposite.

[@websurfer5772]

Yeah I hate that everyone assumes I'm so stupid.

[@munequa81]

I agree!

[@hoosiergirl6344]

This is me for sure. This and being too loyal. On top of that I had someone telling me to forgive and excuse bad behaviors. All of this kept me in relationships way longer than I should have been. Giving too many chances. Accepting less than I should have. So many factors came into this, many of which I had control over. Even not being judgemental, which can be a good thing but in this backfires. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@joyeloneal9635]

I’m the exact same way! I’ve made this precise observation about myself, too. I expect far too much from myself as well. I somehow think it’s my responsibility to fill in the gaps in these less-than-reciprocal relationships. I’m learning though!

[@eirintowne]

So this comment section is where we find each other and realize that we are not THAT abnormal that we deserve to be judged negatively

[@M.j.7]

Same!!!

[@bbdn5123]

Thanks to the Almighty for all those experiences. I feel like I'm getting somewhere now. Thanks doc, I'll order a pot of tea when I see you or any of the open people out there!! ☝🏽💖🌌💫

[@websurfer5772]

@@bbdn5123 That's funny, I was going to say, tea for me instead of coffee too. I've had people get mad at me for ordering herbal tea when we've gone to a coffee shop together. They say, "Who orders tea at a coffee shop?" Well, I do, dangit. Believe me, you don't want to be around me if I've had any caffeine at all - even just a sip. I feel more relieved about how I am after watching this video as well.

[@missgaia12]

True. Narcissists should target narcissists. Can you imagine that?!?! 😅😅

[@catherinepraus8635]

Morning everyone have a blessed day

[@BlueMosaic5]

You as well 😊 healing blessings to everyone

[@ktbiwk]

❤🎉

[@LindaC616]

You too!

[@healerscreek]

I'm pretty open, but thanks to this channel now when meeting new people, if their values aren't in line with mine, I just stop engaging and move on. I pay close attention to what they talk about because it's what they think about. I avoid them if all they ever talk about are material things, sex, being superior to others or how inferior others are to them, and other shaming and insecure behaviors. I am reassessing my old friends as well.

[@doreenarcher8543]

This is me, openness, silly sense of humor. I sure do attract them. I’ve had to struggle to learn boundaries but I just can’t change who I am. People can be open with me which can be rewarding. Thank you for your videos. I have some of your books.📚💚📚💚

[@margaretgrace5902]

Lightbulb moment for me. I can see now how my moderate openness to new experience allowed me to tolerate my self righteous and grandiose ex’s weird behaviors far longer than I should have. Thank you for this topic on personality styles of people who attract narcissistic individuals. Self reflection is crucial to healing.

[@patrickbinford590]

Openness is good, as long as it doesn't prevent autonomy. ☮️🙏

[@nyxcole9879]

This is so on point, my openess is super high. I'm creative and everything that comes with the openess by nature, and that's what got me, listening and empathizing and tolerating my dad's grandiose bs stories. And kept me doubting what I knew for way too long. And he was a self righteous grandiose type.

[@bbdn5123]

Yeas sis 💗 I'm figuring so much out. Take care ☝🏽💖🌌💫

[@lynncohen1297]

You could be describing me and my life!

[@miriamcollins7587]

I enjoyed this video! High in openness and agreeableness. It was fun in my 20s…I traveled the world, lived abroad, and owned only what I could fit in two suitcases. But no matter where I was or how much fun I was having, I would always gravitate to these terrible relationships (that started off so quickly and romantically) with controlling men who seriously devalued me (like my mother). Now I’m in my 40s, and I’m trying to get a handle on what personality traits I display to the world so that I don’t look like a walking 🥩 out here with these vultures. It’s not even just narcissists who will exploit people… many types of people will exploit you for many different reasons. I read a really good book called “women who marry psychopaths,” and it shared some of these very positive traits which get exploited and turned against us.

[@maevebutler4641]

@Miriam Collins I absolutely agree with you How very well articulated

[@costelloandlizzievolk2233]

I feel like openness for sure relates to agreeableness, not wanting to be ‘judgmental’, and being told to be ‘nice’, and not being taught that you’re allowed to have your likes and dislikes, and boundaries. I’ve learned these lessons the hard way. Staying strong in who I am, what’s good and healthy for me, while being open to new experiences that are safe and what I want, knowing I’m allowed to say no. ❤

[@iklijkwelgekmetmijneigennaam]

It is all about balance.

[@BeDifferent77]

Yes ma'am, this video is spot on! I'm high on openness, and it has definitely been a huge factor in me getting involved with narcissists off the tracks. I once saw a plaque that said " Don't be so open minded that your brain falls out." I knew that was for me. So, openness and agreeableness is still for me. But it's best tempered with taking pause and observing people and screening them for truly toxic behaviors.

[@lt827]

" Don't be so open minded that your brain falls out." Luv it!

[@websurfer5772]

The teacher next to my classroom had that poster on her wall and every time I saw it I thought that it meant not to believe ridiculous things. I should have taken it the way you did but I had no idea I was so much more open than others back when I was teaching. Isn't society always pushing everyone to be more open and agreeable? Especially for females? I like your strategy to temper our openness with being more discerning. I added your idea to my notes on the Temperance Tarot Card: "Be discerning of Other People and Screen Them for Toxic Behaviors/Moderation/Patience/Calm/Time/Balance/Rational/Practical/Forward Measured Steps/Don't Get Too Excited/Keep Our Expectations Reasonable" Now I realize that Temperance card can be meant for people like me with this openness issue.

[@indigentphd]

Openness can also be your superpower in narcissistic relationships. I was really open from the time I was a kid. My friend base included anyone I thought was interesting, so I never fell prey to conforming clicks or groupthink that led to bullying of others. While this has sadly led me to narcissistic partners, it has also prevented me from staying super long. I may have lost a year or two to figuring someone out, but never decades, this is because being open helped me to not be afraid of change.

[@L.Akosua]

I heard someone say that we should be open minded, but not to extent that our brain falls out. I'm trying to live by that 😊❤️

[@goldilocks3593]

This was so me. I was pretty much up for anything in my younger days - within reason, and I had a pretty wide latitude, except that I did have a conscience and morals. As time went on I realized l was attracting some of the wrong people (ie narcissists) as they mistook my openness for amorality. I had to learn to really be a lot more cautious about showing my open side and only to trusted people. Narcissists can definitely read “openness” or natural curiosity as being places you absolutely DO NOT want to go.

[@ceilconstante640]

It's very therapeutic to listen to Dr. Ramani daily and read so many great comments. I'm still creative & open. But now, I have this awareness of what got me in trouble in the past. When I recognize red flags, I look squarely at the person I'm chatting with and say:. Do I have the face of a fool? It really throws people off and they trip over what they were saying and clarify to cover themselves.

[@websurfer5772]

Wow. I am in awe. I could never do that. People would say that I do. 😂

[@ceilconstante640]

@@websurfer5772 there are 2 videos on KZbin on Assertiveness Training. One is better than the other. I listened over a year ago and got a lot out of one of it. I practiced when I was standing in line at the convenience store/gas station. Each time someone just walked in front of me, I'd speak up. Asserting:. Excuse me, did you not notice I'm standing here. Saying it loud enough to make them feel like an a$$. I was at Walmart at the self checkout line. A guy had his cart on an angle so no one could get by. The Walmart lady said to me you can just go around. I said no, he can be courteous and move his cart. Then louder till he moved his cart. I just keep practicing every chance I get. So now if I'm just hanging out at a coffee shop and end up chatting or in other situations when someone is try to take advantage, I give them that look and say something. It gets easier and more natural each time. I'm 5'3". I know I have a look on my face that says:. I'm a nice person, walk all over me. Try it!

[@reesedaniel5835]

@@websurfer5772 Then you tell them they need to go find another one. That you aren't buying what they are sellin.....😗

[@websurfer5772]

@@reesedaniel5835 I love it! Yes! It's hard for me to come up with a comeback on the spot so I appreciate this.

[@JCS357]

I am definitely an open and adventurous person. That is what attracted me to my narsasistic husband in the first place, because we did interesting things in the beginning. But after a while I realized that although he was was also an outdoor person, his outdoorness stuck to one area and got boring after a while. And no matter how hard I tried to get him out of his box, he was unmovable out of that one area. Doing the same thing over and over again. Year after year. Ind I fell into depression for being stuck with him in his small world. 😢😢

[@emiuygun9718]

I found out I rush to be nice to the people and since I realized I will start to be careful

[@attheranch873]

I’ve never heard openness talked about in this way before. I find this to be accurate. Thank you.

[@joshuaanzalone2060]

Being vulnerable is not weak. It's actually very powerful and opens your mind and eyes and allows you to feel comfortable but with narcs keep things to yourself.

[@reesedaniel5835]

Agreed however narcs are great actors. It's usually only AFTER you have been vulnerable and open that they remove their mask.

[@stupidbeetle]

Every time I watch one of these videos, I'm reminded of how much I fit the profile of the person a narcissist would target. To this day I find it so strange to believe that this person I knew for 12 years wasn't real. And that way she can change into a different person with different interests and mannerisms depending on who is around is so unsettling. After she was found out she stopped hiding her duplicitous personality from me, but she does hide it from the new people in her life. I see her doing the same things to this new guy she is with and I am still bewildered. It's like she can't help herself and she's just going to do this same thing forever.

[@reesedaniel5835]

Be thankful it's not you anymore. You dodged a bullet.

[@Subspace._tripmine]

For me, being open and agreeable is a balancing act. As I've matured, I've looked back and see where I was open and agreeable, but I was also naive. I thought love was being open. I realized I skewed the concept of love because I didn't know better. What I was doing was not being loving to myself and I was letting others' ideas top mine. Now that I'm older, I can see how many people are at different stages of getting to truly know themselves. People are looking for happiness and sometimes in all the wrong places. Living in Hollywood and going to a fashion design school taught me that the human imagination has no limits to openness, and sometimes, that's not the best. I've seen so much. And many open people also destroy themselves when they don't balance out that openness. When I pulled myself away from there to get a different POV, my eyes were open to how subjective openness is. The lovely thing about life is we get to choose how open and agreeable we want to be for our own lives. I've learned that it is called boundaries.

[@michelecraig9658]

I so resonate with this.❤

[@websurfer5772]

Can you give us any examples of how people wrecked themselves so we can all learn from them? I've discovered that one of my main life missions is to create strong boundaries with others and on myself.

[@Psalm2Charity]

Beautiful comment 🌸

[@405OKCShiningOn]

this!! love this!! so true.

[@Subspace._tripmine]

@websurfer In the city of Hollywood, I became friends with people who were so open to anything that they would participate in the wildest things. From drugs to obscenities and wild lifestyle choices, I saw so much. This was the 90s, and we didn't have the internet. I was introduced to some extreme things in real life and not on a screen. Some of those people became hardcore heroin or cocaine addicts. Some mutilated their bodies with excessive body modifications and even changed genders. I can't even tell you what I saw. It was so extreme. And there I was in the middle of it thinking I was being non-judgmental. What I didn't realize until many years later was that many of those people were suffering from untreated mental disorders, and most of that behavior that I accepted as cool really was not. I mistook their mental illnesses for being cool, creative, and free spirited. And I dont know how to say it, superficially, they seemed happy, but in truth, internally, there was lots of chaos, and living amongst that there was a lot of drama and self centered narcissism. And there I was, all because I was open and non-judgmental. Instead, I could have said, "I don't have to be here. This is not healthy, and I'm not a mental health provider. I can't fix their sadness. This doesn't have to be accepted." I gaslighted myself back then. Some of those people died young. They were depressed or got caught up in crime. A few became homeless and left to Venice and Santa Monica. I remember thinking at 21 years of age, if these lifestyle choices ever become mainstream, our society is doomed. And yet, here we are. So many of us are accepting mental illness as normal. We are being open to differences that are so extreme, but mostly because we are getting the internet version of these things. The candy coated version. Now, I watch from a city far from Hollywood. I see the spreading of the mental illnesses that I saw up close and personally. And what I see on the internet is a romanticized, happy version of many mental illnesses. They're not showing what I saw. They're not showing what I lived on a daily basis.

[@sage9836]

This is SUCH a valuable topic. It answers my burning question about why people want to talk to me - and tell me their life story. Or recite a poem. This is usually a great trait. But when someone starts a BS routine, I'm like WHAT?! I mean, they started with someone who is open, but not gonna be nice. And I also learned in this video not to hate my openness, because the sense of wonder and resilience are a great part of this personality type..

[@silencesays228]

This video explains a lot for me. It explains how come I keep attracting narcissists and it explains why I frustrate the heck out of narcissists. Thank you.

[@jaybanksuniversalmusic6785]

GIVE THIS WOMAN A RAISE!!! All of this is relatable…had to find my boundaries and learn not to be Too open to others although I’d like to be, past experiences taught me that that can be a bad thing in the presence of the wrong people. It’s deep

[@LEM19284]

I was an open book with him, as well as open-minded - to a fault. We met as basically kids (age 20). It was only 11 months later we were married. I transposed My idea of love, connection and friendship onto him. He took full advantage of me and used my uniqueness as his own AND he used it against me.

[@SkyePhoenix]

Yep. Sounds familiar.

[@rakhithakur7115]

Same here

[@aena5995]

Thank god someone said 20 is young my narcisitic mother's been trying to make me feel shit about it I m 21/22

[@emiuygun9718]

Same

[@websurfer5772]

@@aena5995 Don't listen to her, you're a young adult until you hit 40 these days. That bar keeps moving. I'm almost 60 and when I look back I was still just a babe in the woods when I was 25. I had soooo much to learn! lol Enjoy your young adulthood as much as you can. That's when you can have the most fun with everyone your age who are also in their prime. For cryin' out loud, you're just now old enough to order alcohol when you're out.

[@arenee118]

I am an extremely open person. My narcissistic sister is very set in her ways. Because I am open, I don't put up with people's closed beliefs, like racist, sexist, misogynistic, etc beliefs. My sister knew this and used this to pick fights and then blame me for the fight, saying that I am unwilling to accept other people's opinions. No, I won't accept her racist, sexist, etc opinions. She can hold that opinion, but I won't agree with it. Because she kept playing this game and other stupid narcissist games, I eventually went no contact. Best thing I ever did.

[@lovinglatonya3499]

Thank you Dr!!! I needed to hear that this morning. I consistently asking myself why I attract these types…I am open!!! Agreeable and down for different perspectives and experiences. Comfortable with myself and my humor and quirkiness…it’s just something about attracting these types that makes me feel weak, targeted, hunted…its hard to shake sometimes. Thank you again for all your education and decision to this subject. 🙏🏾❤️

[@michelecraig9658]

I keep trying to remind myself although these types may be attracted to me, I don't have to be attracted to them. I think it is a little dangerous for our own mental health to see ourselves as somehow attracting this dysfunction.

[@reesedaniel5835]

@@michelecraig9658 Ticks are attracted to dogs. Predators are attracted to prey. Doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the mental health of the dog or the prey.....

[@costelloandlizzievolk2233]

Now if I feel a pull to being more open then I feel comfortable with it’s a red flag for me, and alarm bells go off. I feel like it’s sometimes the narcissistic wanting to suck me in for supply. Like an ‘energy vampire’. So learning to be more discerning with people in that sense, while being open to new positive safe experiences that feel good to me. Thank you ❤

[@chocolate-eq6jn]

When I was involved with my family of origin, I displayed a high level of openness. My mother and my sister were more rigid, into authoritariasm, judgemental. Guess who became the family scapegoat???

[@shafaqtahir5746]

I’m the family scapegoat but I’m the rigid/judgmental person . My mother and sister are high in openness (and yes become easy victims of a narcissist). I’m still the scapegoat because I’m rigid and judge people the moment I meet them which my family thinks is crazy .

[@erikavaleries]

Same

[@websurfer5772]

vanilla? 😉 -- No. I know it was you, chocolate. Dang. I was a ready-made scapegoat too.

[@valeriegonzalez6629]

Openness - that's me. And that's why I must have been such a superlative narcissist magnet. I have to say these experiences absolutely show me that this trait needs to be balanced all the while avoiding going to paranoid extremes. Thank you so much for this video.

[@alexistexis721]

👸🏽Hi Dr. Ramani. Your "vibe" gave me chills and hope to see you one day too. It would be great! 😍💕🥰

[@sawdustadikt979]

Totally me. I’m extremely high in openness, creativity, imagination and curiosity. I’ve had to use all those traits to develop better boundaries to protect all those characteristics so they can flourish. Despite the fact that I’m a large, middle aged, rough looking, get dirty for a living tradesman these are my dominant traits and it’s helped me to understand why I’m a constant outsider in both the trades and the art world. I guess people see me and make their assumptions as we all do then the things that come out of my mouth conflict with their assumptions and then everyone at the party or networking event have their backs to me by the end of it. This is a real bummer but the more I understand the better I can bare the results of just being me. The thing with the boundaries and holding back is that I do find it exhausting to not say the first things that are coming to my mind till the person proves themselves not a threat let alone an asset. I grew up in a narcissistic family system. Despite always being ridiculed for being me by my family and friends, I really like to share ideas and concepts, it’s just holding it all back is very difficult. I was exhausted trying to be a bit more of what everyone wanted me to be but they were never putting in any effort in our interactions unless it was to devalue me or crack jokes on me so after realizing this I separated myself from all of them some 15 years ago. I have learned recently that being to open with people is codependent behavior, so there is more work to be done as always. I’ve tested multiple times and am an INFP and that helps explain things as to why I do a lot of what I do unconsciously. I’m just trying to tune it to have successful social endeavors at least once in a while. I am grateful for my wife and son, they are the only people that SEE me for who I am and want nothing more or less of me.

[@jacquib256]

You spoke my reality thank you… it’s a lonely path being misunderstood and yes definitely when you were brought up with a narcissist parent

[@websurfer5772]

Dang - I didn't think guys like you had any problems like this. Well, we're all here learning together. I sure am grateful to the internet for helping me learn so much about myself and how to understand others.

[@sawdustadikt979]

@@jacquib256 I’m learning a lot but I think being raised in by narcs in a narcissistic family system is whole different ball game than regular narcissistic abuse. The abuse, the grooming, the intermittent reward, the false empathy, the neglect, the brainwashing, the learned suffering, the pre verbal trauma is completely different, we were completely defenseless, not an naïve adult that made a mistake. The stuff we carry in our deep subconscious is far more challenging. Be patient with yourself and persistent.

[@sawdustadikt979]

@@websurfer5772 I guess that’s what happens when we assume(as the saying goes”when you assume you make an ASS out of U and ME”) we all do it, I’m the worst at making assumptions, I’m always catastrophically wrong all the time but I still do it. We are all learning, I get as much info out of the comments as I get out of the video.

[@websurfer5772]

@@sawdustadikt979 Thank you. It sure has been one major rocky road.

[@KingRandor82]

This pretty much sums it up for me: almost everyone I've been surrounded with my whole life has either been a narcissist, or a toxic enabler, and they've either been covert or grandiose/communal. Makes perfect sense now, as I'm a very open person (despite being Autistic, and having semi-rigid preferences; it's kind of a "you do you" thing, for me) who values the truth above pretty much everything else.

[@websurfer5772]

Does valuing the truth make us more vulnerable too? I hope not. 🤞

[@KingRandor82]

@@websurfer5772 that depends on how desperately you value the social setting, I think. If you're trying to get deep, meaningful connections with most people--and in groups, especially--yer likely barkin' up the wrong tree. It simply depends what you're after regarding the social experience.

[@websurfer5772]

@@KingRandor82 Yeah, I agree with you. After writing that question I've been giving it more thought. Of course Ns hate the truth as they are the People of the Lie. It's also the truthtellers of the family who are often scapegoated. I'm still trying to wrap my head around all this as I learn a bit more every day.

[@KingRandor82]

@@websurfer5772 I wouldn't say they hate the *truth* so much as whether or not it's within the context of their standing within the matrix "social system". They're taught everything comes down to social currency, and if you *dare* rock the boat--unless you're told it's acceptable to do so--you risk losing everything. People who can stand on their own two feet won't fear this, but many do not have the willpower to do so.

[@websurfer5772]

@@KingRandor82 That's informative for me. Thank you.

[@joshuaanzalone2060]

They underestimate people as well.

[@Atomikbomb444]

Man, this really hit home. I'm about 70% agreeable, which is definitely high enough to be problematic for attracting them (I think I used to be even higher, but have really worked on boundaries and taking care of my own interests, in my early 20s I was a bleeding heart); but my Openness is high 90s...and I cannot seem to adjust the scale of this trait whatsoever. It feels much more *fixed* in my psyche than agreeableness, conscientiousness (mine is in the 30%, I'm trying to improve and be tidier) and even introversion (I can force myself to be outgoing for a little while). I don't know if others relate, but my Openness is SO prevalent that I don't even realize it most of the time. I was really disdained by churchy Christians for being odd/eccentric. They made me seem like I didn't care, and I attended 2 separate churches where I was slandered heavily by low-Openness narcissistic people (one was probably a sociopath) . I love this videos even more than all your others, which is saying a lot. You're so specifically accurate and everything is totally spot on! The incorporation of Big 5 traits into how they pertain to Cluster B people is just brilliant, and I personally believe this is going to help a lot of victims. I hope more psychologists adopt the same process of viewing these dynamics!

[@judithargitay9860]

Being open and setting firm boundaries can go together perfectly. If someone is trying to put me down, I'm happy to get rid of them. Openly.

[@TylerLarson]

My experience is that high openness also makes you more able to recover. More open to changing your perspective on what the last X years actually meant, and moving on with someone new without looking back.

[@EastWind785]

Can you speak to how Narcissists and ‘ Open people’ using dating apps to meet and how best to read the profiles?

[@seshcg4764]

This is me , I am open and I now stuck in narcissistic relationship

[@janburke6488]

Ooh. Wow. You've explained so much! I couldn't help but come to the conclusion that I am damaged because of the way narcissists gravitate to me. This makes sense. 💜

[@AYK894]

this has been so helpful.. because I always wondered why those people always target me. Started to think there was something wrong with me.

[@valeriegonzalez6629]

I also thought maybe there was something wrong with me. I was unwilling to give up my openness. But I stuck around too long thinking there had to be something fundamentally wrong with me at my core that I just hadn't yet been able to understand.

[@ChristopherDonnerArtist]

I'm a very open minded person and I've learned to have better boundaries. I overlooked a bunch of red flags with people . Caused a lot of hurt

[@alexandraki]

I have a very open personality (hopefully relatively healthy 😅) and I do attract grandiose narcissists at first but I really irritate the covert types, they dislike me right away!

[@blessme7853]

Why dislike u

[@ilsev.3656]

I was like this before my first N relationship years ago, so open so curious always saying yes to people and sucking it all in. I was like a sponge and up for anything, naive as well I would say. A walking target for these predators, looking back. Then after this first experience I closed down a lot. I worked on myself and finally thought I had found the right balance between my own openness and having healthy boundaries, checking out people a bit better before I jump right in. But after covid, I was so happy to be back 'out there' after the lockdowns, bursting with my good old enthousiasm. So when I met my next N date, my guard was way down once again, it was like I had forgotten all I had learnt. I was fascinated by him and happy to feel so alive again with him. I guess this was his way in, to my detriment.

[@websurfer5772]

I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you. What a drag. A couple of books that really helped me, (I'm female), were Women Who Run With the Wolves which taught me how to listen better to my intuition, and Mars and Venus on a Date. That 2nd book is not old-fashioned in a bad way, though some will say it is. John Gray is giving it to us straight because men really haven't changed, so it's a good idea to follow his advice to save your heart from getting broken. I didn't want to, but I decided to follow his advice just to see what would happen and I ended up happily married. Now, dealing with N inlaws is another story. Watch out for them. You might like Fascinating Womanhood here on YT too. They agree with the info I got from the books above as well.

[@trainer1634]

*@llse V.* I'd go on as many good courses as it's harder 2 combat narcs behaviours on your own. I would attend visceral trauma courses & trauma causes.

[@reesedaniel5835]

After a lifetime of narcissistic abuse, I knew better than to allow psychopathic tyrants to make me "lock down".....I walk at liberty because I seek GOD's precepts.....Psalm 119:45 "The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Quarantines are for SICK people. "Lock downs" are TYRANNY. Stop complying to their BS. Also I never wore a muzzle (mask). Humans are the only animals stupid enough to block their own ability to BREATHE because some lying govt tyrant told them to do it. The government does not care about anyone's health, never has, never will. It's about CONTROL. DO NOT COMPLY.

[@nopi3.14]

If you hand a mugger your gun you are probably getting robbed. This is what being open and honest and communicative with a narcissist is, except in the emotional and social realm. They will mirror you and you will feed them everything they need to destroy you.

[@websurfer5772]

OMG you're right.

[@costelloandlizzievolk2233]

I feel like my openness partly comes from being so gaslit and scapegoated, with being dismissed and invalidated so making me second guess my perspective and also being encouraged by enablers to ‘see the other persons point of view’ even though I was being abused by the narcissists. It’s a mind mess. It made me question my opinions to try to be ‘open’ to different things and others views. Which is ok sometimes but not ok always. I also had a narc use his ‘openness’ sexually to try to shame and force me to do things I didn’t want to do. So I feel like he used his openness as a weapon against my boundaries. Growing up my family was super judgmental and conservative, so I also felt that was wrong and wanted to be more open to different things. Learning to validate my opinions and boundaries, choosing what I want to be open to as long as it’s safe and healthy for me, and to have a healthier balance with it all to protect myself. Thank you❤

[@ninjagirlnomeansno9403]

This is absolutely tremendous, Thank you so much for sharing this, I understand, Peace, love to you 😀😀😀🥰🥰🥰🥰💞💞💞💞💞

[@msmacmac1000]

🎯🎯🎯 Dr Ramani. You described me. I’m awake now. No grudges. No regrets. Forward

[@CindyPowers-nv3zl]

I'm most definitely an open person. I'm full of curiosity and always wanting to experience new things. I love to learn about other cultures and people. If I ever found Dr. Ramani in a coffee shop, boy would I love to talk to her.

[@Bena-boo]

Thank you dr Ramani. It sounds like you've described half my life. But it's still good to have it validated.

[@sunnydaye5942]

I learned to take the target off my back, forehead, etc. Took a long time to realize my weaknesses needed healed. Once that is done, you can avoid most narcs, only took 50 years to do ....

[@J40JesusIsLord]

I always have a high level of openness for a Dr. Ramani video!🥰

[@M.j.7]

Running into Dr. Ramani in a coffee shop would be so fun!!!

[@davearvelo]

Openness and agreeableness! That's me! 😁😁 Hearing my personality described as "magical" is gonna keep me going for months, hahaha. Still looking for another like me! It's taking more years than I thought 😂 Maybe these traits are actually what got me through the narcissistic relationship implosion and fallout... I picked myself up and radically transformed my life and I'm having a lot of fun now, my life is so much better than it ever was. There's hope, people, keep going!

[@sophiachampsi8953]

OMG!! I m one of these "openess" persons.....linked with being empathic, I guess I m a good target that's why I got "hooked"...

[@egeemaru7289]

I don't know if I can agree with the notion that those who are more open are more successful. In my experience, those who are promoted to leadership positions are narcissistic because they have no problem treating others like mere resources to be shuffled around and replaced.

[@costelloandlizzievolk2233]

I was ‘open’ to give my an old guy friend a second chance as I always thought there was something more between us. I felt some potential yellow/red flags in the beginning, but tried to stay ‘open’. Only to be hurt in the end as he was not totally up front about having a girlfriend, and I wonder if he may be a narcissist. It’s hurtful and disappointing, but proud of myself that I kept my boundaries with him and got to know him slowly, as eventually the truth came out. I am learning to have a better balance with it all. Thank you ❤

[@sarasol4677]

At last I hear something for and not against my personality 🙏

[@donnaroosa4469]

Refreshing isn't it 😊

[@websurfer5772]

@@donnaroosa4469 No. I found out that what I thought was a good trait has been used against me my whole life. But boy, am I glad I found out! Better late (in my case) than never.

[@donnaroosa4469]

I think it's a good trait to be open & honest with respect... the problem is is the world can't handle the truth

[@websurfer5772]

@@donnaroosa4469 Yeah, I can see that they can't handle the truth ever since 2020, which was another revelation for me, but how is that linked to me being open?

[@susannehunter3122]

That is me DR. RAMANI! Thanks for explaining what I have been but not with the narcissist ever again. I am and have been Too Open! But I can spot them miles away! My problem is I tell them off for their need to control me! Thanks for all of your knowledge and help through the hell I have been through!

[@notagain779]

@susanne hunter, I used to tell them off, too, but they just look shocked and tell me it's all in my imagination, or, "that never happened." Now, I wish I'd just changed myself and my behavior without explanation. That's what I'm doing now, and they're noticing. They don't like it, and they act confused, but who cares!? It's very freeing, but now they are the ones who have lost me.

[@websurfer5772]

@@notagain779 Yeah I tried practicing being a gray rock with my husband without telling him and he didn't like it at all. But I had to practice for being around my N inlaws and who else can I practice on?

[@notagain779]

@@websurfer5772 , That's a good way to look at it!

[@KatarinaBergstrom-ti1vn]

Wow this one was amazing! I have always hit the roof on openness on psych-tests. I think my curiousity brought me into the my career as a designer, embracing new technology. But, it also brought me a few relationships with narcissistic men, I suspect. But as Dr. Ramani states, I would not take too much crap. I could not tolerate invalidation for too long, but broke it off. Maybe, just a thought, the trait of openness makes you susceptible to narcissists, but also, will not take the bad shit that comes along for too long? That's my journey I believe. Very open and curious, but when I get treated badly, I will not take it for very long.

[@Lola-mt1ne]

I have this quality and it has provided me with a lot of experiences. Fortunately, my Self that knows is always there too, so I usually know when to back off.

[@maxp7302]

This is definitely me! Awww thank you for making me feel really good about myself, Dr Ramani ❤❤❤

[@lt827]

I was expecting 'openness' to mean non-secretive when I first tuned in, so this was very interesting. I am open in terms of being receptive to new ideas as well as being non-secretive. These two qualities probably attracted a lot of narcissists into my life: the non-secretiveness meant they could take note of my vulnerabilities and the openness to new ideas means I am willing to try new things. Yikes! More good qualities can be used against me.

[@GenXHeart]

This was me! Who cares where we go on vacation? As long as we are going! I never cared where we went for dinner, I was excited we were going out! Then there were the looks when I would say things like "I don't want to talk about other people, I want to talk about ideas and places!" No wonder they loved to hate me, I must have annoyed the heck out of them.

[@websurfer5772]

It's their loss. You really were too good for them.

[@GenXHeart]

@@websurfer5772 It doesn't feel that way, it feels like I was an idiot to not see I was a tool not a person to them. Ya know?

[@websurfer5772]

@@GenXHeart Yes, I totally get how you feel. I hope you can heal from it completely in the future.

[@JZ-mn8wv]

Ok, now I’m thinking about my big five scores and my recent trauma with two cluster Bs… Extremely high openness, like, the maximum possible. When I met her, I found her strangeness fascinating. I even justified a lot of the red flags by thinking “well, she’s a hippy girl, it’s a different subculture…maybe it’s a bad match, but if it could work out it would be good for me…” The only thing I couldn’t justify was drugs, once that came increasingly into it, although I kind of did when I thought it was “in the past.” Then her cruelty I refused to tolerate, but only when I saw it was a pattern and not an anomaly. I’m high in agreeableness too, and kept hearing all these things about how “nice” I was. “Much nicer” than her ex boyfriend. Of course, they tested my boundaries and kept pushing back further and further and I let them. Looking at the internals of the test I took (after the trauma) I was high on compassion, etc. -BUT! I scored almost a zero on trust! Maybe as a result of life experience. Anyway, my guardedness did keep me grounded and from being played for too long, even though I did trust too much at the beginning when I was desperate to believe in someone. I guess I’m also a rare combination in that I’m extremely high in neuroticism along with openness. It’s been exceptionally difficult getting over this trauma. Eight months or so, after a six week incident. Incidentally, I’m also very low on extraversion, which I think she (and the other narc) eventually found boring, and helped her lose interest in me. But it was my low-moderate conscienciousness (I’m spelling that wrong) that made her turn on me most spectacularly, because it made her stop idealizing me when she realized how much of a schmuck I am! The criticism! I wasn’t willing to put up with that for too long, but it still had a terrible effect on my self esteem. Long rambling post, I know

[@websurfer5772]

Thank God you didn't marry her though. You really dodged a bullet.

[@ZakiWasik]

I never had a professional evaluate my personality traits, but I took a couple of online tests. One of them indicated that I was in the top 0.1% in terms of openness. Agreeableness was almost as high. Turns out I'm an absolute treat for narcissists!

[@eliseninesling6913]

Thanks Dr and community. I recently left a narc situation and was determined to find out what I was doing to keep ending up in relationships like this. My research found 'narcissism' - I had no idea! But I am educated now. Topics like this vlog are helping me put all the pieces together. This vlog is describing my personality. But I am finding that it is possible to be too open and tolerant- so I continue to educate and work on myself to find a healthy balance. Here's to freedom, to people who appreciate you, kindness and respect. Thanks to all.

[@PaigeSquared]

I am very open, and usually agreeable, and also neurotic. 😅 I am working on emotional regulation and I do recognize some of the more compulsive thinking patterns, but I have spent many years being bullied by my mind. I have found with time that my openness can lean unhealthy. I have been in situations where I did try my best to entertain ideas that were not okay, and even if the thing didn't actually unfold, I felt sick that I spent time around the people who were promoting or pushing for that sort of thing. They took advantage that I tried to regard everyone's point of view with equal weight. I am learning about my tolerance levels and as much as I like straightforward and direct communication, it reassures me that if I pay attention to my body, I will get a heads up to remove myself.

[@SkyePhoenix]

You just described me! Edit: In some ways, I've been too "open." ... Or "tolerant of BS."

[@RAralar]

This is it’s important to be cautiously optimistic.

[@athalyerajan2823]

Sis you are looking much healthy and happy hope all is well with you. Thank you for opening my eyes to a malignant narc wife of 29 yrs. It all makes sense that one day soon i sail away to fulfil my dream of hiking in sicily and tending olive groves

[@Halonablack]

Yeah, I’m definitely the, “isn’t the universe a beautiful mystery, let’s go make beautiful things…” type of open personality. My sister is married to what I call a murderous, malignant narcissist and he hates my openness. He feels it may rub off in his wife. But the guy I got involved with was a communal narcissist and it was like we fed off of each other and I thought I found genuine connection in another human being. And really I miss that connection, but realize the connection was fabricated. How do you miss something that wasn’t real? It’s painful, really. I didn’t expect for him to turn out to be a narcissist because the one example I had of a narcissist was so negative. How could a person that seemed so loving also be a narcissist? I feel foolish for not getting it earlier.

[@websurfer5772]

You're not foolish, coming to terms with this is hard.

[@liudmilaaleagaaguilera8876]

This makes so much sense now, Dr. Ramani. I'm very open and agreeable, I could see myself described in this video. Thank you, Dr. Ramani, I would love to meet you if I could. I'm in Kingston, Ontario, Canada. Sending you a big thank you and a hug for all your help. Have a great weekend, everyone!💕💕💕

[@narwahlandwine]

I honestly think it was my openness that allowed me to understand Dr. Ramani's videos and see how they applied so clearly to the narcissistic relationships in my life. I've never appreciated my tolerance of new information, and seeing if it helped me, as a gift until now! Thank you!!!

[@websurfer5772]

I'm the opposite. I always saw my openness as a gift and had no idea it had a downside until now. Dr. Ramani just brought us a huge piece of the Narc/Empth puzzle. 🧩 All my life I've been wondering, "Why are many people so closed off? What is wrong with them?" Oh my.

[@mariesprowl2348]

I’m so happy to see this topic discussed. I’m Liberal, open, flexible, creative and can be neutral and objective even when I’m being effected by the other’s behavior sometimes to my own detriment. Would love to have coffee, if you’re ever in the Boston/South of Boston or Cape Cod area !!! ❤❤❤

[@eirintowne]

I wish my husband could have met you while growing up in Boston so he would not have felt so different that he could only feel appreciated and safe with a person from the other end of the world with wildly different life experiences! At the same time, I have to appreciate that all his pain is what brought me the gift of this one in a billion man ❤

[@chayo4537]

That shows you're weak

[@martyvirtue4051]

Liberal?

[@mariesprowl2348]

@@eirintowne Aw glad he found you. Ma is a compassionate state overall; but we all go through our stuff regardless of location ♥️

[@mariesprowl2348]

@@martyvirtue4051 Yes. My comment was in response to Dr Ramini’s comment regarding those of us who are high in openness , creative, liberal, empathic. She loves this type and said she’d meet for coffee . 😁

[@litawi7869]

Dr. Ramini, you make Me feel so good about myself while recovering from Narcissistic abuse x3! I’m highly open, agreeable, curious, and easily fascinated. The Ex HATED it! But of course it drew him in, too. I was convinced I was too sensitive, and “free-spirited”. But now I’m falling back in love with those traits! If I see you anywhere near a coffee shop I would for sure absolutely ❤❤❤ to have a delightful chat! Thanks for all you do

[@failbutfeelgreat11]

This is so me 😅 he talked about his past dealings with drugs but he’s a “reformed” person. So I thought let see where this is going but his behaviour and mannerisms raised a lot of questions. So I asked he became defensive. I got discarded. I got hurt but it’s a lesson learned. Your videos help me to understand what was going on and I learn about myself from each of your video. They help me to not get into that situation the second time. It builds my resilience enormously.

[@kryssysmith1486]

I am on the highest scale of openness (it's insane)! However, when I was growing up it was a completely different story the family I grew up in was traditional, extremely rigid, extremely controlling micromanagement is there (I think soul word in their vocabulary 🙄🙄🙄🙄) narcissistic, so when I started to see through their BS and when I started to question the family dynamic, that's when EVERYBODY (in that family) went up in guard and I literally had a family member that were LYING TO ME STRAIGHT TO MY FACE (via messenger,) I just played DUMB (at that point in to)🙄🙄🙄🙄

[@adre4090]

Thank you for talking about the victim's personalities this helps us to understand ourselves and understand how we can become prey.

[@daniel-gi9lo]

Words can't explain my happiness when I see your face on my KZbin page great timing too course just in bed just be i couldn't stop thinking way too much thanks DR Ramani

[@amkrajc]

You basically described my last relationship perfectly. Even knowing everything I know... I still struggle with blaming myself for the fall out. It's an odd battle. She made me out perfect, and the love bombing was there. I saw some redflags l, but ignored them because she convinced me it was in my head. Then then she stopped answering phone calls, and called back whenever she felt like it. The text stop coming in like they used too. She would show love here and there just to keep me around. I stayed around in hopes we could recapture what he had in the beginning. It never came and somehow she blamed me. I eventually got sick and ended up in the hospitals for 3 weeks. That's when she broke it off and wouldn't answer my calls or text. I do have all the text saved "thank goodness". It has helped me see narcissistic behavior. I was way too open and I was willing to look pass certain things. I learned a hard lesson.

[@microdosenyc4515]

Neurotic, agreeable, open… those are my top 3. Hearing you explain openness this this way, makes me understand more of the dynamic i had with the ex ( consent clown). It was a 7 year mishmash of psychedelics, sex and trips to the desert… added to that is the a joie de vivre about me…can’t help it…. I feel like it’s helped me through the worst of times.

[@joyjournal6157]

Huh. I learned something about myself. I can add "openness" to my "agreeable" personality style. Heck, I like myself a little bit more!

[@michelecraig9658]

Thanks for this perspective. I think this allows me to figure out how I got into (and out of) this kind of relationship. First, I was open and tolerant of the crazy ideas and behaviors. After a few years though, it came to the point where I felt forced to adopt the crazy ideas and behaviors as OK or my own, if I didn't want a huge fight and the subsequent gaslighting, shaming, and silent treatment for days. Like you said, no one wants invalidation. Being an extremely curious person, however, I definitely got something out of observing the behaviors, like a scientist in a lab coat, and trying to figure out the patterns. It was at least an interesting intellectual exercise for a while.

[@Kuda_Shumbayawonda]

This trait has caused me to not listen to concerns the environment tells me about people. The idealistic view I had of people would cause me to be sucked into these type of relationships and then defend them from the feedback the environment was giving concerning these people. Instead of leaning into what others are pointing out about the narcissist, I mistakenly chose to defend them. Rather than use it as information to judge the worthiness of this person in a relationship. In retrospect, with this personality, I realized the environment was always giving feedback. From a former boss, to former friends, x girlfriends and thankfully the ‘almost’ friends/girlfriends. The ‘almost’ there means I had an epiphany! Being open you allow people to attach themselves to you, even though values are opposite. But understanding this narc personality now, thanks to material from Dr Ramani and other psychologist - all relationships should be evaluated.

[@thomasbarrett5189]

My focus is on living a quiet, moral life.

[@NanaKofiOwiredu-Darkwa]

Narcissists believe that nice people are dumb people. They believe that their victim is the reason why they take advantage of them. They believe that they haven't done any wrong before. Such people are like monsters in human skin.

[@eletsia]

Thank you ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ Despite my "natural immunity" to narcism it seems that not only I attract them (that I understand) but they stay with me longer than I would expect, since although I'm agreeable, I'm always very clear on my limits and no bullshit in work. Since currently I'm going again through the nasty phase of the narcissist with the power in the organization trying to disgrace me and make me quit, I was really questioning my self! After all this knowledge (most of it thanks to your videos ❤❤❤), my personal improvement since my last narcissistic abuse, why do I still let them stuck? This video was as if it was describing me! I've never thought to check my personality according this model, but when you describe this "sweet spot of openness" I do recognize me so much! I, as many other people here, don't want to change this quality on me. It's part of my core and I like it. I believe it makes me a better person. But what can I change to repulse narcissists earlier? Could you please do more videos about this? Thank you for helping us survive, heal and thrive ❤❤❤

[@Mel.H_]

I swear I have some of each of these personalities that sucks in narcissistic people 😂 I can only laugh now because I got away from all of them 😁Thank you Dr Ramani ❤️ ❤❤