WHY THE INFJ SEEMS "TOO DEEP" TO OTHERS

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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Understand the depth of INFJs and why it might seem overwhelming to others. As an INFJ, you might fear showing your true self, worrying that your authenticity might be met with discomfort or labeled as too intense. You yearn for meaningful connections, yet often find yourself misunderstood. Dive into the journey of an INFJ seeking genuine connections in a world that might not always grasp the full extent of your depth.
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[@Wenzes]

What are your experiences being judged as "too deep" as an INFJ?

[@MegaCyberleader]

unless there is a hookah involved, I dont even bother with 99% of humans these days, all that leaves are other infjs. Hows that for "deep"?

[@TiltedTilterGaming]

For the longest time I felt this very thing, I cared too much and too deeply but I stayed true to myself. It’s like you said “ If I’m too much for them they can go find less “. Thanks for the wisdom.

[@tracythomson2604]

I recall a friend saying to me once something akin to - 'you are too deep' it hurt. I later (much later) realized - hmmm - maybe I'm not 'too deep' but she is 'too shallow'. Everything is about one's own perspective.

[@sigmainfjbulgaria4478]

I was on a little bit of a holiday last three days with my father. We couldn't find the TV channels we usually watch in the hotel so most of the time we watched one movie channel with lot of classic crime drama series representing the 60's. I just though to my self wow, this is the world and the communication and relationships I want to be here and now. It's the sad reality of today's age - too much comparing, too much conformity, too many people living in their narrow bubble of fixed mindset and limitations, too much judgement and rejection and almost everyone have fear from us, from our desire for meaningful conversation without popular cliches instead of superficial conformity with the mainstream „niceness“. It's about time for me to turn the tables and show my resentment clearly instead of going aloof. I'm sick and tired of superficiality.

[@frenchopotamus]

@@sigmainfjbulgaria4478In my experience most people have no inner life, no depth whatsoever. They are automatons, acting out pre-programmed, pre-approved responses to stimuli. Blank stares are more often the response than judgement to any attempt to connect on any deeper level. It's not nefarious; that part of them is simply missing. People with any depth are extremely rare. Most of those who do have an inner life seem terrified of being found out to not also be an automaton. Those who are not afraid are rarer still. Are most people defective, or are we? 😄

[@actuallyican4250]

This topic has been the most painful experience for me since childhood. I crave real, honest conversation, but most just don't and see the "truth" as being negative. It's a lonely life but upside, I don't want a lot of attention anyway😊

[@sandyk1945]

I agree. The loneliness is the hardest part for me.

[@angepack1]

Same, I felt this way even with my parents as a small child

[@Mentally_Better]

the "too deep" perception of INFJs often stems from their unique combination of intuitive insights, emotional depth, strong values, complex thinking, and reserved demeanor, which can be both intriguing and intimidating to those around them.

[@carolinenavarro4824]

Often People want to do more together and they want to be best friends and say we should call and what are you doing this week we should get together etc etc. I am already way to busy and have to much People to show up for. So now I try not to talk to much with others because often people think I want a best friend, and I am really not looking for that at all. I want to be free, and connect but not to be connected in that way

[@MylezNevison]

*It's the consequence of possessing an old soul...* INFJs aren't "too deep," rather we're just too old in comparison to the rest of the newer souls 😂

[@caffemocca8855]

Challenge me. Show how "deep" you are

[@terrijamison9154]

As a kid my parents said "everyone isn't like you " I have had to relearn this over and over. Now I just hope for the best and without expectations.

[@bagasdilts1080]

Some of my friends frown on me when i try to get deep. I like to have 1 on 1 conversation because I think it's a good way to build a bond with someone or a way to catch up with them without the chaos ness of being with a group. I do have an INFP friend that I regularly call once a month (I'm from the US and he's from Germany) and we always have a blast sharing our inner thoughts/world. Every end of conversation we always express our appreciation of each other. Meeting him during my exchange program was one of the greatest gift from the universe to me.

[@yunggohan78]

literally got called "too deep" by the last woman i was talking to recently. lol that was the last straw that made me pack up & get out of the dating world

[@apxj8994]

"So many people will try to do everything in order to keep that part hidden from others and from themselves". This is why people run away because they cannot take the risk of being seen naked and we INFJ's are good at that.😅

[@fredrikdippel3664]

Nothing is too much for me! I love INFJs! /INTJ

[@Roltereen86]

2:07 REASON #1 We really dislike superficiality 5:39 REASON #2 We feel alive if we go deep 9:59 REASON #3 We don't have enough outlets 13:07 REASON #4 We go deep with people who have a hard time with that 16:58 REASON #5 People can only meet you at their level

[@craigbarrett2278]

I'm always amazed at people's lack of general knowledge. They live in their own little bubble. 😢

[@ursanirak2870]

Not that anybody ever told me but I know they often think Im too intens. Some people find this attractive but are hesitant to open up. Other people think Im odd. Others dont ‘like’ me but cannot say why.

[@Yoshino760]

There are people whom enjoy their brainwashing it's like Kool aid on a hot day. Those nonsensical conversations that they "all" enjoy allows a pervasive idiosynracy to manifest to feed their insatiable ego's. Sociopaths led by psychopaths is the world we live in today They don't want anyone thinking to hard these days these days. INFJ skills don't allow people to hide under that believe layer of skin as we can see right through them all the time. It's not us it's always going to be them As I believe INFJ' have no ability to care about playing follow the leader.

[@bumblebee_ms]

Same.

[@cledosliop4175]

“But what if, who they truly are is what you have already seen?” ( Ah! This hits me so hard 😂)

[@Diane_McDon]

My Mom always told me I was too deep, too much of a thinker.

[@lmdee7690]

There are worse things than being called too deep. I have come to love and appreciate this in myself.

[@lindateuling7862]

yesssss!

[@Verdeoxid]

I was thinking that, if we need to go deeper with people to feel connected and to feel seen, this maybe is because a part of the trauma as raising without been seen and felt connected nor understanded. (I had narcissistic parents and a sibling that bullied me). So is trying to fill the void of lack of connection and understanding. In this moment of my Life I have learnt to socialize superficialy and enjoy time with people as It is. I know that real connection is possible with few people I hope to meet. I go deeper with myself, doing shadow work and spiritual practices and find peace on It. I think that go Deep too soon is a mistake, is not confortable to the other person and maybe only a trauma response, not healthy behabior. To get to know people deeply requires confidence, a mutual trust that came with some time.

[@bikkaora8320]

Thank you for this comment. It truly helped me think about this in a more grounded and healthy way

[@gabrielWachong]

It's crazy to think most people are not like this. Coming to this realization makes me kinda bored of people in general, but then again it's like you said if you meet someone that actually has some more depth to them its always great!

[@BKandtheUnderstanding]

I’m always baffled by this one, but what you’ve said is true. Many people are just shallow, whether it’s a fear of their depths, ignorance, or a refusal to contemplate.

[@KingDomsKingdom85]

We are deep, and we expect everyone else to be the same.

[@bumblebee_ms]

I always thought people were like me, until I got ghosted.

[@mr.anderson3369]

It's not just a matter of being too deep, its more to the fact, that the vast majority of people are simply too shallow.

[@elenab8296]

We love( INFPs) your authenticity, but even we need more time to understand you better. Because you have such unique gifts.

[@user-ly7jj2jh5u]

Thanks to your channel, I am finally able to accept my uniqueness and INFJ-ness! I’ve been fighting it for years, and hiding as you put it, because of the negative reactions from others, especially my immediate family. But I do have a few special close friends that relate beautifully and that is wonderful. Self-acceptance is priceless. Thank you for your good work!!!!

[@MegaCyberleader]

People ask me hows the weather up there? I say cloudy to partly stupid.

[@bumblebee_ms]

Hahahahaha!!!...I love that (as a tall woman).

[@DearYoungerSelf111]

Im ready to stop trying to connect with others on a deep level so soon (i dont know about you but it happens automatically - just as automatic small talk is with most people). Ms Linda (she gives great commentary-advice here all the time) shared a piece of advice - that has helped me with this - be more of a listener and actively ask questions when we meet new people - from the data we gather thru listening and space we create (one of our dope gifts) - we may be able to conclude that - yep Jane is surface - NEEXT or dang John stood here and talked about his Ferrari 'Narc Nexxxt! Versus me spilling the depths of my soul and Jane and Johnny eventually ghosting me - Much Love to all who is here

[@cookhousehero]

I experience this everyday with ever person here in superficial USA. When I lived in Bavaria for 9 years, I was like the Goldilocks just right. Perspective. It's EVERYTHING.

[@MichiF975]

Greetings from another INFJ from Bavaria ;-) although I am living here, most of the people here are still too superficial for me....but thank god I nevertheless have quite a few really deep friendships who really appreciate my emotional depth, intuition and complex thinking about things others do never think about. And these deep conversations with my close friends about a huge varietly of topics also help me to express myself and feel alive.

[@Roltereen86]

#1 0:57 Daydreaming #2 2:22 Analyzing others #3 5:43 Analyzing our own thoughts and feelings #4 7:58 Creating emotional experiences for ourselves #5 10:40 Recharging

[@SgtPepper333]

I’ve been thinking about this very thing since last night. It’s strange but many people are intimidated by this.

[@bumblebee_ms]

And annoying, imo.

[@eighthappyfish]

“You’re too much!” “Then go find something less.”

[@deonhauth4877]

I have had a lifetime of "going to the well but the well is dry" over and over again because I really cared but they not so much. Acting on a behavior repeatedly with negative results is just crazy and very hurtful.. trying to stop doing it.

[@chrislim7976]

I really struggle with how adults can live superficially. You mean gossip or getting excited like when I was 15 yrs old getting a materialistic thing like a bicycle? People find being authentic and honest "too deep?" It just blows my mind.

[@packyhubbard1]

Wenzes, lately you keep posting the exact thing I need to hear. So grateful As I navigate the world seeking those connections, hearing your posts not only helps in my own insight and growth, but your presence and the community you’ve fostered actually in itself has become a place TO GO DEEP and be truly authentic without fear. A place to strengthen that muscle of authentic extrovertive expression

[@destry5250]

LOLz. I only let my cat know I'm that deep . . .

[@bumblebee_ms]

Me too, and they (my 4 cats) love it.

[@cinderling5472]

Wenzes let me say a BIG THANK YOU ❤❤❤ 🙏🙏🙏😍 For your wonderful content! I don't comment on every video but i do watch them all and my... They resonate more and more the more i try to work on myself You empower and strengthen us. It speaks to my soul I love you so much Thank you for helping me get out of the victim mentality ❤

[@lindateuling7862]

After being misunderstood so much about my own "depth" I worked out to relate to people in what I call my "Friendly Introvert" style. A lot of this is based on by having gotten burned with #4 and #5. It's especially helpful as a substitute teacher, as substitutes meet a lot of different people in different settings almost daily. I have found it effective to warmly greet people, and then let them use their own initiative to come to me. From then on (#5) I try to discern the level that they're coming from. This is an approach that has helped me a great deal and I share it for what it's worth.

[@chrishewitt2866]

A while ago i was on a night out with friends and i met friends of theres who i had never met before. I struck up a conversation with one of them, she told me she was a maths teacher and this immediately peaked my interest. I showed i was really interested in her job and I explained how i was bad at maths at school, relating stories etc etc and i think it all got a bit too much her my intensity lol, but i was just being myself 😬

[@Diane_McDon]

Don’t beat yourself up about it. It happens to me a lot but I’ve learned to shrug it off and be thankful that I didn’t hold back. If their not interested it’s not my shame. at least I didn’t blow a chance at at love or friendship because I was held back by fear 🤷‍♀️

[@1kenneth1985]

Oh how does this resonate …thanks for those apt descriptions. Approx 10 yrs ago during a job interview @ a renowned WestCoast University, I plunged into depth-conversation rather inadvertently… and only noticed it by the puzzled look of the Project Director, who kept glancing at my resume, probably wondering how I ever got selected for this interview. Recognising her slight amused puzzle, I said: “I know that I am a strange bird …….. though I am an Excellent strange bird!” With that she burst out laughing . She hired me, and I really enjoyed working on this multi-year project, probably mainly due to her wise hirings of a great, very large team.. She was a fellow Introvert, and perhaps recognised a few of those traits in me as well and wasn’t perturbed by those direct conversations. Those depth-plunges are not like ‘second nature’ to me, they are my first nature , period. Full-stop. Thanks again for keeping those insights and pointers flowing along nicely. MUCHO appreciated.

[@joshuachase9742]

I recently had to downgrade a friendship because of this. There was a specific event that doesn't quite fall into this category, but this person's actions afterward revealed a deep-seated philosophy of not looking past the surface of anything out of the fear of what will be found beneath and the call-to-action that comes from gaining that knowledge. The part that hurts the most is this person constantly going to an adversary of mine, someone whom he claims to also dislike, to talk and joke around as this other person is shallow making it a more comfortable environment, and I just get pushed aside because my standards make them feel called out even when I'm not expressing them. I thought this was a good friend, but I guess I was wrong once again and now have to hold myself back in conversation.

[@danc5870]

Making our choice about if we want to try and go deep with someone - and allowing them to make their choice about this as well.. this is akin to the idea of 'the separation of tasks' from the book The Courage To Be Disliked.

[@dani5639]

thank you for another informative video ..your channel really helped me increase my self awareness and self acceptance and I really thank you for this...greetings from Greece

[@Banebelladonna]

Remembering to focus on the the positive and I told them that I don't mind deep diving into subjects and talking about it it makes me happy. It made me feel like I probably looked crazy or something I wonder how many times in my life this occurs so f****** tiring

[@meganpolachek2868]

Yes, I relate to this so much…It can feel so lonely sometimes. 😢

[@bennyregohos1650]

Just be yourself, if they can't handle you move on.

[@sagsmv4913]

My feedback started with wow what a boss to not real to not good enough to too deep to weird to overkill all from the same person who I thought was my true love. The whole time I was confused and kept explaining. The whole thing took 4 years back and forth. Glad I'm out. That was hard 😂but thanks because I learned a lot about myself whether good or bad. We got this guys ❤️

[@bumblebee_ms]

I'm disliked for who I am every day by everyone I meet. Even when I shut my mouth, people come for me. It's disgusting!

[@bennyregohos1650]

People are draining 😢

[@nwbest4336]

We're born that way, even when we didn't know we were deep.

[@Not_all_as_it_seems]

anyone else experienced the weak girls accusing you of hitting on them & the insecure men calling you gay...? The hard lesson of going to deep to soon.

[@carolinenavarro4824]

My problem is, after what I think is small talk, the other person wants to be best friends, and I do not want that at all.... so I try to not do that but it is difficult. I already have to much attached in my life and to little alone time with my thoughts

[@eshebc1]

probably one of the best explanations about our difficulty to socialize, now I´m more certain of the adjustments I have to do

[@RexApplegate]

I stay honest and genuine but throttle the content to match the vibration and whether or not I want to make them to keep distance rather than make me maintain it.

[@DeadOrAliveFan2000]

Thank you. This gave me new perspectives.

[@boardgamesonthemoon]

Super helpful right now, thank you 👍

[@Banebelladonna]

Man this kind of sucks because I feel conflicted. On one side the more I'm looking into it the more everything is dead on. I go back and forth between I and intlTJ and infj. Both assertive and I can see how thinking and feeling change. Despite what everyone says that it just can't be so I do find myself going back and forth in life. Very intense Dark night of the soul.. so I feel like it's fitting. However it's so popular that it just feels cliche I don't want to be another person claiming to be infj

[@LimpopoTomi-eh3bj]

Очень талантливая психолог, без ломания перемалывания человека поняли его суть так глубоко. Нииичоси)))

[@why55555]

I'm going to tell them you told me to go as deep as I want! 😁😹😮

[@bennyregohos1650]

Are light is blinding to most .

[@stebarg]

I would love to express myself much, much more, for example on a KZbin channel, but I fear from a lot of bad experiences that I will suffer extreme consequences! One time I was almost killed multiple times by my wife and her brother for expressing myself through a video on my channel, and another time I was fired by my manager for a comment on LinkedIn. 🤯😭 How to do this without having to suffer?

[@luciana1930]

THANK YOU

[@markashmore]

This really helped! Thank you :)

[@txsurfnturf]

This is so me...

[@bennyregohos1650]

Yes

[@BloomingMeadowsCo.]

I have a really important question I'm an infj, every time I take a personality test it either tells me I'm isfj or infp-t. Why is this? It bothers me so much, I'm honest and have done so many tests. I've done months of research, but I'm still unsure if I'm a true INFJ because I keep getting these other two personality types. 😬😅 I will say, I've researched both and while they are close, their just not 100% me. INFJ is, but I can't say that I am one 100% because of these tests and it bothers me. I'm so invested in learning about myself, I feel like I'm 100% INFJ, I just can't explain why.

[@ConstantlyCreating]

Gotta say. You are beautiful!

[@chapellej6611]

Yes!

[@swaymbho]

Thank you ❤

[@chrislim7976]

Can anybody explain more what she means by other outlets? I need this. INFJ

[@sunset9729]

I hear how did you know that? I now just say lucky geuse. 😊

[@ycdbralai]

🙌❤️ 🙏

[@jessmason2112]

💯✌️😎

[@self-awareathlete8709]

This personality type stuff is BS by the way. No statistical reliability or validity. Complete BS.

[@deonhauth4877]

No it isn't but thanks for sharing your opinion.

[@bumblebee_ms]

You're watching the wrong video, it's obviously not for you. You would understand everything said, and it would resonate with you if you were an INFJ. I never understood why people comment on videos they hate, like why bother???

[@GreenWizardPTR]

From the dawn of time, lesser people not able to see the truth or even fighting it. You're one of them, not smart enough to grasp the possibility you could even be wrong. Only that one sentence from you is enough to determine who you are btw...

[@samuelj.rivard]

your video made me feel like being supported by the big sister i didnt have 🥲 thank you very much!!!!

[@TheyCallMeSir_H]

Dialed in!