Women, Is It Time To Make The First Move?

[@alanyuan8565]

We're at a point where LOOKING at a woman is now considered harassment and we have videos of women saying how uncomfortable men make them when they ask them.

[@stevenmcallister9952]

No. No we’re not. Looking doesn’t constitute harassment and never has. Those men were doing a lot more than just looking at them.

[@R_wir3]

​@@stevenmcallister9952like the dude who saved a feminist's life, but ended up suing him for harassment.

[@stevenmcallister9952]

@@R_wir3 one outlier doesn’t prove that all women are like this. There are cases of men doing that same thing, but it’s wrong to say you shouldn’t help men. You should know better than to generalize. Generalizations are always wrong.

[@fredhughes4115]

@@stevenmcallister9952 That WAS a joke right?

[@DDD11239]

​@@stevenmcallister9952 Are you a woman with a man's name, or just a man trying to "not be like other men"?

[@jay-t1030]

As a single 27 yr old man I definitely gave up on approaching women, too many unnecessary rude rejections. Forever single I guess.

[@adelstander4900]

Noooo, dont give up. The right one will come your way if you are open to it.

[@richardjreidii]

There are far worse things. No fault divorce means that you can do absolutely nothing wrong and still lose half of everything you’ve ever worked for. The numbers are a little fuzzy, but it’s between 10% and 30% of fathers are raising children that aren’t theirs and are unaware of it. You will not be believed if you are the victim of domestic violence. On that same note, you will not be believed if you’re the victim of a sexual assault by a woman, * especially * if it is your wife. ----- Alternatively, you can just enjoy your life. As a man, it takes so much less to make us happy.

[@whitey6433]

​@@adelstander4900 don't lie to him. That's some cliche shit I've been hanging on to that's not doing anything😂

[@whitey6433]

Right there with ya, brother. I just turned 27 and pulled outta dating nearly 3 or 4 years ago. Forever single ✌🏽

[@reanschwarzer2187]

28 same boat as a conservative women today just don’t have my values

[@comment3711]

Women, be gracious and kind when you are approached. If you aren’t interested say “Oh, thank you, I’m very flattered but I’m taken” or something like that. Men have feelings too and it doesn’t cost you anything to be nice.

[@Cute-Aali-Smith-m8y]

Back in the day; women used to drop handkerchiefs in front of men to encourage them to make the first move (which is really making the first move). It shoes that women know who they want. Smart men pursue women that show significant interest.

[@floshi6519]

Times are changing. Women should approach as well.

[@Locksden]

It's important to remember how wildly unbalanced the risks are. That 20% of women who think being approached is harassment can cause *very* serious issues for the men who are unfortunate enough to treat them as part of the 78%. Yet even a genuinely false allegation carries no risk for a woman. The have no reason to act reasonably. The *Matriarchy* caused this problem.. The Matriarchy needs to fix it by (re)educating _every_ woman. Waiting it out is also possible of course - given long enough it will self-correct. But IMO a gap of as little as a decade would probably have very significant consequences.

[@NikolasTsakonas-jo4wz]

You guys just replied to an OF bot

[@gh0ulgirl05]

@@NikolasTsakonas-jo4wzew i didn’t even realize

[@libbyrodriguez]

Something else too as when women used fans, there was an entire language with how you waved them

[@benzmuda7589]

Even if we get a few dates, most men don't believe that women will actually stick with you through thick and thin. No one is actually" ride or die" or "till death do us part" anymore. No point even starting a relationship when you only have about a 20-30% chance of it actually working out for the long haul.

[@lordwife]

I had 2 long term boyfriends, a situationship, and a few guys I dated before I met my husband of 18 years. Of course most relationships don’t work out. Statistically they can’t. But if I never tried or was truly open to them I would never have married or even me him. I hope you find a woman you can trust and love, we are out there, but sometimes are hard to find.

[@benzmuda7589]

@@lordwife I'm happy to hear that things worked out for you. I realized long ago that I can not offer enough of what women today want and I stopped pursuing. I haven't asked for a phone number in over 15 years, much less asking anyone on a date. But it that time 'no one even showed me body language that I should talk to them. Also I'm already old and used to solitude. Idk if I can stand someone other than my dog to live with me anymore.

[@lordwife]

@@benzmuda7589 Women today kinda suck. But there are a lot of women who aren’t modern. I’m glad you are happy.

[@KtCleansAlot]

I very recently made the first move with a guy, we've been seeing eachother for almost a month now. I'm so glad I reached out and got to know him. Don't be afraid to speak up and approach somebody!

[@crazysilly2914]

most women are not like you though, sadly...

[@MetalMama-Mimi523]

4/9/87 I asked my now husband out for Chinese food, because (1) I'd never had Chinese food before, (2) I didn't want to eat a tv dinner & most importantly (3) he was really hot. 37 years later, we're still eating Chinese food.

[@samantharawson4216]

That's a long time of only having Chinese food. I respect the dedication ;)

[@zayinseven7923]

Haha. Thats beautiful

[@HigumaHoney]

chances are y'all still haven't had authentic chinese food before. most asian food in the usa isn't authentic.

[@MetalMama-Mimi523]

@@samantharawson4216 Well, I don't believe I said we only eat Chinese food or that we eat it everyday, now did I? No, I did not, but there's always gotta be someone to take a big dump on something positive someone says. Why?

[@samantharawson4216]

@MetalMama-Mimi523 girl I was making a joke. Chill. Hence the winky face. "37 years later we're still eating Chinese food" do ya get the joke boomer?

[@dheerpatel7828]

Women changed the rules. Now the worst case scenario isn't a simple no, it's a life sentence in prison based on false harassment allegations. When the consequences of even looking at a women these days are so severe why would I try? The benefits don't outweigh the risks. Also had a friend who tried approaching a woman at the park once she recorded it and posted it all over her social media to embrass him. It's just not worth it anymore. Unless I get a clear signal that a woman wants me approach her I'm staying as far away as possible.

[@jus4000kicks]

Wonderful. Thanks for looking for solutions to this issue.

[@blueandgreen24]

My wife asked me out first. So glad she did. We’ve been together 7 years and married for one

[@malimal4972]

Same here , my fiance made first move , 13 years and counting now

[@sjustus7]

My late wife made the first move and asked me out first. I certainly appreciated it, I knew she wanted me and wasn't just settling.

[@softeyesworld]

What was the first move? How did she ask u out? I’m not shy but I don’t really know what to say and don’t want to put someone off by being too bold

[@SeanMendicino-n3d]

💀💀💀💀💀

[@tiegz9770]

Was it not a turn off at all when she asked? I only ask because I’m scared to approach guys

[@SickDrummer2438]

Not sure why most women seem to assume approaching people would be any less anxiety inducing for the average guy than it'd be for the average woman to do. It's almost like we're all people that have the same social insecurities 🤷‍♂️

[@jai2776]

I think it’s less about anxiety and more about the lack of respect we’d have if we are the one to make the first move as women.

[@SickDrummer2438]

Lack of respect from the man in this scenario being approached? From the women around you and how they'd view you for you doing the approaching? I can only speak for myself, but the few relationships that have kicked off in my life occurred from the girl initiating interest in the situation. On my end, seeing them step up for themselves and shooting for what they want gained huge points from me for them. I think honestly a lot of guys view this similarly. Even if we don't end up being interested, I'd like to think most of us would actually respect the hell out of the effort of you doing something we 100% know is difficult to do.

[@__thebadger]

They mostly vote Democrat, meaning they don't actually live in reality. They still believe that it's the 1960's. Thinking that women have 0 rights and society is legislatively oppressive towards anyone other than white men. They're not worth it.

[@DDD11239]

​@@jai2776 Lack of respect? Believe men when we state that we love women who are clear with their intentions. Don't play games.

[@firstnamelastname9219]

@@jai2776 hahahaha dont act as if women arent WAY more rude than men. cmon dont be delusional. ladies, be better

[@Dseagles14]

I'm 38, every woman I have ever approached has rejected me almost immediately. I have had a few call me creepy and one of them said that she would rather be a lesbian then have anything to do with me so yeah I have checked out of the dating pool. I am pretty sure that a woman would never attempt to approach me

[@firstnamelastname9219]

women are pretty awful these days, they think theyre worth more than they are

[@jarred110]

Either you’re trolling or need to look in the mirror and say “if I was a girl would I date me?”

[@Dseagles14]

@@jarred110 Everything I typed has actually happened to me. I am fat, ugly, have zero self confidence so I completely understand why women wouldn't want to date me. But still I don't think that I deserve to be called creepy just for saying "Hi" or being told they would rather became a lesbian then talk to me which happened when I was in college. So all together I believe I will die alone and I deserve it

[@1986SuperVegeta]

@@jarred110lol of course, it could never be the fault of women, it has to be the man’s fault. lol

[@HigumaHoney]

i think you should get familiar with someone first, see if they're willing to go on a few casual 1:1 or 2:1 activities together. like maybe you and your guy buddy invite her to lunch one day, then the next day you invite her 1:1, and if you're vibing, see if you can grab a wingwoman to go to lunch with the 3 of you and have her gauge whether your crush is interested or not. i had a senpai (upperclassman or someone older than you in school) ask every girl in our high school to our version of the prom, and because he didn't warm up to people first, every single girl in our high school told him no point blank. in his despair, he actually proposed to his best friend (guy) and was rejected as well, for other reasons. i know coz we were next door neighbors and i was his brother's classmate.

[@Mmarg13]

I started conversation with a boy standing near the beer pong table at a party in 2016, started dating in 2017, now we’ll be married in October. Turns out we grew up in the same city but never met until college. We were neighbors, but never met until that party. Put yourself out there because you never know when you’ll meet THAT person ❤

[@initiatorhater0688]

but i assume he was the one that asked you out or asked for your phone number

[@LeeLeeBellePBJLee]

I have a friend who is an autistic man, he's a hopeless romantic, he basically gave up on finding love because it's too much of a minefield. I mean, if non-autistic men can't figure out which women want to be approached and which will take it as harassment how is someone who has a brain that naturally struggles with social cues supposed to figure it out?

[@crazysilly2914]

EXACTLY ME. I don’t even have regular FRIENDS because of my struggles with social cues. If Im trying to make friends with another guy, even if it starts out good at first, eventually they get cold to me and try to stay away from me. I think they might be getting weirded out by me? I don’t even know...

[@m_jay5]

I am a socially awkward introverted guy with high functioning autism, so if a woman was the one to make the first move on me I'd no doubt be taken aback in a very positive way!

[@rolandswift4311]

You forget to consider another important factor; The majority of women who say they want to be approached aren't actually looking for relationship, at least not healthy relationships. Enough women have openly admitted to getting men to take them on dates just so they can get a meal or do fun things without having to foot the bill that it's becoming a major concern for guys deciding if they should roll the dice. Add onto that all the women who'll show you their backside on OF for $20 but will demand hundreds of dollars in dates and gifts before allowing a guy to get even less out of her IRL. Even if you avoid being labeled a creep; you still have a massive risk of just being her walking ATM and then being labeled an a$$hole when you decide she isn't worth the price tag she put on herself.

[@crazysilly2914]

Either that, or they have a bunch of hookups to get that body count up into the triple digits… …and end up with syphilus, gonnorhea, clamydia, herpes, hepatitis, etc...

[@shirg170]

I made the first move, never in my dreams would have thought that I'll do that! I always waited for the guys to approach me, but when I met my (now boyfriend) I couldn't let this go, we are together for 2.5 years. soon to be married and planning the rest of our life together! be brave! if I did it, you DEFINITELY can too!

[@initiatorhater0688]

did you ask him out first? or did you approach him?

[@shirg170]

@@initiatorhater0688 We were friends first, I was scared to ruin our friendship but decided to go for it anyway and told him I liked him more than a friend

[@79Dnivara]

Women: "I'm not getting any these days" Translation: "The men I want isn't coming after meee"

[@stevenmcallister9952]

Every woman has their own “type”. The six feet,six figures, six pack thing is just red pill propaganda. Focus on self improvement and treat women like human beings and it won’t be long until you are no longer single.

[@DDD11239]

Agreed. She could download a dating application, and find a mate within a few days.

[@rachelrobinson2636]

Yes if it’s just any mate . Not a life long mate , it’s not that easy at all !!

[@1986SuperVegeta]

Someone understands.

[@Razor-gx2dq]

​@@DDD11239quality of which may vary

[@davebriggs2919]

Dont wanna be accused of assault or harrasment. Seen too many cases at my highschool so fuck that

[@mistypedhi]

I knew my husband for about 8 years before we really started talking. We just knew one another from high school and had a lot of mutual friends. Well after all those years of being acquaintances I decided to text him. I had been liking him for about a year at the time but I had a lot going on and kinda forgot he existed for a while. Anyways, our mutual friend posted a photo of him with our other mutual friend..and we were both single so I went for it. I texted our friend he was in the photo with (since I knew it meant they were together at that very moment) I just texted asking for his number and then I started messaging him. That easy. It was like it was meant to be. We were flirting right away. Everything escalated very quickly and it was amazing. Our puppy love phase lasted a couple years straight ! We were and still are so close. We just made our 10 year anniversary and we have a daughter now. Best decision I ever made was sending him a text out of the blue.♥︎

[@adolfojuangarcia1906]

As a man, I like being approached by others. It makes me feel special.

[@jaughnekow]

makes men feel needed

[@theburger_king]

Makes me feel noticed

[@tracym8952]

I'm usually leery thinking they want to sell me something.

[@MichellesdesignsEtc]

As a woman I like being approached makes me feel special men be MEN again...

[@gerardorivera9111]

@@MichellesdesignsEtc Women are no longer women, what is a woman anyway?

[@kelcicundiff7293]

My husband is a man of few words so I made it a point to go sit at his table at our college cafeteria and strike up a casual conversation. It was as simple as that! He later told me he had already noticed me earlier but hadn’t had an occasion to talk to me. He asked me out on our first date and the rest is history! Boy am I glad I decided to sit at his table!

[@NoahStormofficial]

In mine and my fiancé's relationship she made the first move. Because I was too shy, tho we met at 8 and 9 and started dating at 11 and 10, and are now 18 and 17. I feel that she persued me because I have been the only person she's ever felt close to. And I think she genuinely knew before me but I was trying to figure myself out at the time.

[@Erduk]

I ran into my now wife and her friend six years ago completely on accident while looking around for my friends on campus. She gave me her number by asking me to send pictures of the event I was planning. The event got rained out, but we haven't.

[@chadthackston1992]

I mean, yes, but, how may dudes have heard this phrase; She's just being polite. Or, Just cuz she smiled doesn't mean she's interested. Sorry, a smile is not enough. A wave MIGHT do the trick. I had a woman look at me three times and look away when I noticed. To me, that's a sign of interest. But I had a literal woman tell me that it doesn't mean anything. So...

[@peterharrell7305]

Those women were just adjusting their bulge.

[@klocugh12]

A woman only needs to make herself CLEARLY available. No game playing, let a man know she's there and interested, ball in your court now. If she does, making the move feels pretty easy actually. If it feels like pulling teeth to approach/ask out, then it's off and you really shouldn't bother.

[@mysteriouscameraman]

That is so true. I have seen so many people at school that are too afraid to ask a girl out because they aren't giving clues. Its the smallest things that help the most

[@aldaoroman]

How about paying fucking money and that's all? Can't they do that?

[@john-doe842]

Ye

[@kurosan0079]

If the ladies want to prove that anything we can do, they can do as well, it's time for them to step up.

[@mskatie602]

I’m married but still get approached by men on occasion. The men who take the rejection well and move on with their day are so wonderful. The men who get angry, argue with me, and/or follow me are the minority, but it happens enough for me to be wary of any man that approaches me

[@MadHawkMoody]

High School senior prom, the best night of my life, a girl asked me to dance and I was around a bunch of other guys. I was so taken aback by this that I pointed at myself and she nodded with this huge smile on her face. 21, 4.0 GPA, pre-law college student, small town guy. Still single. lol But seriously though, that interaction changed my view in a lot of ways. It felt good to be noticed, especially being a shorter guy with glasses and being kinda quiet in a huge crowd. I would do anything at this point to be noticed by a young lady right now. I'm just so scared with everything happening in the dating world. lol

[@ejuwera]

Stay strong

[@Daydreamer0403]

I decided to make the first move on a guy I had a crush on at work. After I knew he was leaving I asked him out and here we are 3 years later, married. Best decision I made.

[@tcgtpl]

These women would still be going after the top 5-20% of guys since the remaining 80% are invisible to them anyways.

[@stevenmcallister9952]

My brother you are not competing with the “top 5-20% of men”. You are competing with the peace women feel in solitude. Plenty of ugly non-rich guys with girlfriends. I promise your problem isn’t your looks or wallet.

[@littlewolfplayz7546]

If it wasn't for my girlfriend making the first move I probably would have never pursued her please note after she made the first move I took over and I put in the effort.

[@TheBigCrabber]

Something important, women need to call out the women that are screwing it up for other guys.

[@lunaredelvour2972]

my husband made the first move and I'm eternally grateful for it. I'm not confident enough to approach people even with friendship in mind, let alone romance. Mad respect to whoever makes the first move, man or woman idc, you have my respect, just thinking about it makes me nervous and I'm already married LOL

[@babyjusto2323]

I’ve had a decent amount of women ask for my number or make the first move the last couple years. If I find a girl attractive I’ll usually talk to them and be super friendly but never make it too sexual off the bat because I don’t want to come off as creepy. If they’re into it they’ll usually ask for my number or instagram.

[@oshersharaby]

Must be nice to be you

[@DrewReid-y8l]

Maybe the girl literally just wants to talk to you and you are like "I don't want to talk to you because your unattractive", some people just want to talk, they aren't interested in dating.

[@Riririnauwu]

I’m halfway through the video and I just wanna say that sometimes ladies we gotta take a step down. 😂 Stop being so hard to approach and smile, that’s literally how you might get guys to talk to you first!🤦🏻‍♀️ And if you’re interested in a guy, go strike the first step, I like to create “little accidents” if I want to approach a dude, and I usually act like I accidentally bumped into them or saw something we have in common. It always works and you’ll even keep the conversation going! I don’t mean to be rude or anything but I think it might be more common in western countries because of feminism, I live in Asia and I never had these problems before, men are all willing to approach me so I didn’t even know there’s issue like this that exist. 😅 I’ve been stalked by a dude around 11pm when I’m walking home and he was actually trying to get my numbers?! So I do agree with learning how to approach a person normally because this isn’t it😭 Tips for my ladies: If you see a guy you like, approach them with a smile. And most importantly, compliment them because most guys have never received compliments from what I’ve been told, a little sad but everyone deserves compliments as they make the day so much better❤

[@mangocakeyumyumyum]

I met this guy at church when we were both still dating other people. Fast forward five yes are later, we’re both single and I’m feeling chemistry but …nothing. I finally ask him one weekend if he wanted to hang out and we had a great time. That must have been enough green light bc after that, he initiated all dates moving forward and now we’re officially dating. She’s right, they just need to know we’re interested 😂

[@9rbloomer836]

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Sometimes, you may be doing all the right things, but just haven't met the right one yet or it's not the right time! No one ever talks about that and we should! I have a number of friends who married when they shouldn't have and it results in disaster. I'd rather wait and take time than jump into a possible dumpster fire. Im 32 and single, super social and smiley/pleasant in public, I go do things and meet people, etc and still absolutely nothing for years now. I have had my offers but all from men that aren't good men or very impersonal relationships. There aren't many guys I know currently I'm interested in like that and they don't approach me either so sometimes, it just is what it is.

[@WhatsCookingTime]

Fortune favors the bold ! Summer exemplifies this

[@DanLovesBooks]

They all gonna ask out the same 10 dudes.

[@ChristopherRichard-i1f]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@sumairshirazi]

I agree it's time for women to make the first ladies. Ladies now y'all pursue us men now.

[@Herozonex200]

As a 30 year old that never have a girlfriend. I gave up when i was 22 years old. I was working on myself to be a better version of me. Women hates nerds and they want bad boys. Im not risking my life of asking women out and going to jail because i "look" a certaln way. Women today just want a good looking 6 figure man. Its not a men issue. Its a women issue and im sick of people acting like its not.

[@Saravon]

As a Gen X er who has been married once and engaged 6 times! I can't pick them but I sure can get myself a date. I just wanted to say you are 100% correct, a wink, a nod, a smile, even a little swish of a hand movement to say hello goes a long way. Men cannot read our minds but once they know you are interested, if they are as well they will likely come up and start a conversation. Putting that damn phone down is so important. Just sit, people watch, smile, and be open to conversations, not every guy is your type and you aren't every guy's type either.

[@SD-mi2vc]

304

[@DavidZ4-gg3dm]

Millions of women (including saleswomen, barmaids & waitresses) approach male strangers at work, so why do so few do so socially?

[@laimajo3547]

Barmaids?? What is this, a renaissance fair? Lol men and women are different. That's why. Pragmatically, we ladies should say hi more in this dating environment though.

[@deancreambetweens]

@@laimajo3547hi let’s go date and get married. Oh no we had a fight. Oh well kiss and make up. We just had 3 kids and now they’ve all moved off and we’re in an empty nest. What a life we’ve lived.

[@DDD11239]

Because, it's their job.

[@laimajo3547]

@deancreambetweens You make it sound sad. Hopefully something heals the cynicism in your heart, if that's what's going on.

[@MemorableEventsVideo]

Sales and especially hospitality jobs require interaction with the public. Not everyone who works those type of jobs does it because they like interacting with people.

[@carlygirl306]

I'm a 18 year old single girl who hasn't been in a relationship and was feeling a little low that I might not have the opportunity to have one, but this made me feel a lot better. I'm going to work on improving my social skills and giving men the green light just by smiling and saying hi. Thank you for this video! I can do it

[@TheZombieburner]

Let me give you some free advice, okay? I mean this in as friendly a way as I ever get: Say hi, and communicate CLEARLY. Don't "drop hints" or try to play games.....we guys don't get that, we're thick as two short planks when it comes to that stuff, okay? Good luck out there, kiddo.

[@GimbleOnDew]

Saying Hi and smiling isnt a green light. That is just normal social behavior. There have been way to many cases of this and guy approaches and then the women claims harrasment.

[@RealPigeon]

Lol, at 18 you are literally at the start of adulthood, no need to be so dramatic. Most high school relationships aren't serious and/or don't last and most people I know never were in one in high school, so I think your situation is very normal. Put yourself out there a little in college/beyond and opportunities will come. But opportunities are only part of it, ultimately it is up to you to chart your course. Know your worth and what you want but don't be delusional or get entitled or bitter. And don't get corrupted by the common mistake of always seeking a (richer, more attractive, etc.) man or you will probably pass over the real 'best' (makes you happiest) man for you. From my perspective (as a guy), the dating game seems really simple for women who are moderately attractive, not entitled, not bitter, and not delusional. Most women are at least moderately attractive but many are either delusional, entitled, or bitter, and as a result they struggle not necessarily with finding male attention but with finding a lasting, meaningful, and loving relationship with a man.

[@RoVicD]

In my personal expirience, there's a differnce between just giving a signal, and the direct approach. Generally speaking, whenever I was the one who approached first, men took me less seriously and didn't make an effort on their part. I would still do it, because what have you got to lose, but the direct approach never worked for me. As for signals, I think its a lost art that we need to find again. Women forgot how to give them, and men forgot how to read them.

[@sensoeirensen]

Women approach me only online. 99% write just „Hi“. Wow women you are all soooo special and different 😂😂😂 In real life also 99% of women cannot even smile at a man they like!!!

[@kathyp1563]

Women need to learn the art of signals -- initiate chitchat, compliments, long eye contact.

[@kathyp1563]

@@dylzp you like your women on the masculine side. That's OK. But, most women are not going to do that.

[@Mila_Nelson]

15 years ago I went through a cashiers line at the grocery store, thought the guy was super cute, wrote my number down on the receipt and turned back around and gave it to him. He called me that night and the rest is history! We dated for a solid 3 weeks before he asked me to marry him. And we’ve been happily married since! All I had to do was make the first move ❤ take the shot ladies!

[@jamesq7954]

I don't mind the woman who makes the first move. I will say that without it even her making a move; I'd like a woman who at least lets me know it's safe to make the first move.

[@Zackerath]

I’ve never pursued a woman to date. I don’t think I ever will. But, I have pursued women as friends. That way, I get a period of a few months (rather than a period of a few minutes) to determine if this is something they want, or even if it’s something that I want. It also allows the relationship to develop more naturally, instead of going out with a stranger, getting to know them while you date - you already know them. So you can just focus on whether you love them. Keeps it all simpler, I think; which is important to me, being a man who too easily over complicates things.

[@FLP90]

I told a guy I liked him, we’ve been long distance friends and he’s been hurt in the past from rejection so I figured I should let him know and invite his pursuit. Well, he rejected me. The things he said to me before and then for him to reject me shocked me and the only conclusion is that he is a player.

[@ojyochan]

I've been rejected, too, but I got a successful, hot husband by maint the first move, too!

[@RealPigeon]

Sounds like you dodged a bullet and, better to dodge the bullet early on by being direct to him than having it drag out possibly many months longer only for it to come to the same conclusion.

[@jasminehussey4life]

I actually was the one who went up to a guy and told him I thought he was cute. We are now married since December. 😊

[@rachelarnold3848]

Matthew Hussey helped me out a lot in my single years! Even though I wasn't directly watching his videos while dating my now husband, what I learned after watching them years prior helped me understand that making the first move does not mean that you are immascualting them. They just need a little encouragement.

[@grahamyodude]

Summer's story about how she met her husband is some real "ask and thou shall receive" type shit. Many women won't understand what that actually entails though and will "ask" with a sense of self entitlement. If more women understood the importance of asking without expectations rather than demanding or expecting, more women would be pleasantly surprised how much they actually get exactly or close to what they want.

[@cheneroodt]

I have been approach by a guy only once in my entire life and I am 27 years old. I guess I haven't approached a guy yet because I too, fear rejection. And I have been told by a guy friend that men also have a fear of rejection. I guess its hard for both genders

[@carolinedoney6303]

I relate to it. I fallen in love with my friend and I confessed to him, right now we are married and he takes care of me.

[@GORT70]

‘A woman of valor, who can find?’ -the Bible. America’s number one problem is modern women.

[@raiders3168]

That's awesome for your friend Summer and her husband. Congrats to them. It's great to see people finding love even though I gave up looking for it over 20+ years ago. I'm always happy for people that do.

[@frenchfan3368]

Just because I am talking to a woman does not necessarily mean that I am interested in pursuing a relationship with her. Yes, this holds true in a bar, restaurant or anywhere else. No, I do not fear rejection from a woman when I do ask her out; what I fear is that she will tell her friends and acquaintances which may make me look bad. With that said, I really shouldn't care about their reaction as if I did not say or do anything inappropriate, I should have nothing to be concerned about.

[@ohiorushbaby]

Straight up, this episode needs to become a series on this channel. We need to see more successful relationship recaps so that people can see what works and LEARN BY EXAMPLE. Source: I am a struggling 38-year-old chronically single male trying my best to connect with ANY women that I meet in my life. I'm just looking for green lights, girls. That's it, I swear!

[@GODFRY524]

6’4, above 6 in, 6 figures….. and 27 years old and I’m relatively attractive and not that I lead or even share any…. I have approached a dozen or so this year and consistently got rejected or just given weird looks in response. I think I’ll just stay single. It’s cool.

[@KrisShadow216]

This is what people get for the whole "I have a boyfriend" response every time we even try to talk to them.

[@alfredo9470]

I dont have problems staring conversations, in friendly manner but if I feel you are annoyed I just walk away 😂😂

[@davidjohnson6665]

Dude, I’d go nuts if a random girl said I’m cute.

[@user-HellcatHemi]

I'm the opposite, I was raised in a sadistically abusive family fueled by crime, addiction, neglect & trauma as my fam pushed me into a relationship @ 13 w a NPD abuser who they welcomed w open arm's & the abuse I suffered from them is utterly criminal & in 09 I changed my wicked ways yet did 4 yrs strait 25-26 mnths in prison for a victimless crime per the judge even & in 7/17 my body started systematically falling apart as I became fully disabled last yr b4 my 45th Bday & I LOST EVERYTHING which I was doing amazing despite my disabilities & other serious medical issue's & I came back to God last yr yet I am now living w & off my also disabled senior dad as I come to grips w being fully disabled, losing everything I put my trust is God, let go & let God, take it 1 day @ a time for this is jst the tip of the hell I've been living in & thru AFTR changing my wicked ways which was a bitter 💊 to swallow in itself & I continue to have integrity, live by God's wrd & put all my faith & ❤ into him, Jesus Christ & The Holy Spirit for Christ is King. ❤❤

[@jacobwiles547]

I'm sorry about all of that. God is good though! However, Mrs. Tombul isn't saying it should be forced upon us. She's mostly just saying we need to know how to interact.

[@lemili524]

Love this story & the message about giving men the green light - I literally “got” my husband by sticking my tongue out at him during marching band practice! We were in the same section in college band, and every time I had a dot near his on the field I would make a point to make a goofy face at him when we stopped marching, which always made him smile. That led to conversation, which led to dates. 11 years later, we’re married & trying to have kids. Wouldn’t trade a moment of it. 💜

[@josephinekromer2827]

I met my husband when I crashed a wedding, he asked me out and I couldn't as I was leaving town the next day, he didn't ask for my number and it could have ended there except I found him on FB, friended him and scrolling through his page I noticed he had note posts he had made on theology, so I commented on a few what my thoughts were. He took the hint and sent me his number 😂 we were married 8 months later 😅

[@danarodz3275]

I was meant to go from US to Italy for my study abroad but due to technical issues they changed my flights and I ended up in a four hour layover in this place . It was my first time in an international by myself. The staff would just ignore me except for one guy in the swatch store that could speak Spanish and helped me. It was a horrible experience and they treat the people there like cattle.

[@TDOTSE1]

Ngl that add plug 3:10 was hilarious 😂

[@candicet4396]

Summer and Ethan are so dang sweet. Their relationship sounds like me and my husband. My husband sent me a message on Instagram and I was immediately interested but didn't take it seriously because he was so good looking that I didn't think he would actually be into me but I agreed to meet up with him and his friends and it was the best decision of my life. It was definitely a "when you know, you know" situation. He's truly my very best friend. We had our first date in September and got married in August less than a year later. We just celebrated nine years of marriage together and we have a beautiful little girl. I could not imagine a single day without him. And it makes my heart so happy to hear that other couples are finding that kind of joy and happiness! Congrats Summer and Ethan!

[@jayswag2259]

I speak for all men when I say that smiling and saying "hi" Is. Not. Enough.

[@jerrychubb6168]

OK. The relationship that started with a fork was adorable.

[@PLZFrosty]

A lovely video. Now i need to learn body language i guess, because i don't know the difference between a friendly smile and a green light smile 😅. And yes, ladies, men will most probably continue the conversation if they see that you are comfortable giving them your attention. So please, if you see a guy that peaks your interest, going over to him and ask him why he's standing alone or if he minds talking to you while you are waiting for a friend. That will make the world's difference to him, i swear. I've tried it with girls and haven't really gotten any success, because i don't really like fishing in general and I feel like I'm about to spontaneously combust with anxiety while I'm doing it. BUT i would love it if a girl approached me in that way. It's always the worst feeling to be surrounded by a crazy amount of people and yet nobody asks why you're guarding the pillar or something even though you are trying to show that you are open for a conversation. I, for one, have just stopped trying to approach and trying to show openness because it feels like a waste of time. Most guys at least know how to continue a conversation. The problem is starting one. If you help getting the ball rolling, who knows how big that ball can get (aiming it to be a good way, obviously)

[@MariaHeredia-dw4id]

The West is DOOMED!lol

[@ilai7893]

Seeing Jada in Matthew Hussey's clip threw me off 🤮 why is she nodding along and not treating Will any better? Hope Matt didn't sleep on the job and avoid speaking to her about her relationship

[@Gromitz101]

I had a girl that I met maybe twice, she asked to grab dinner before an event we both were going to. Apparently in her mind, that was asking me out because when the check came, she booked it to the restroom making me pay for the "date" that only she knew about... Ladies, if you are going to make a move, state your intentions. Call me clueless, but I had no clue this was a date or that she was even remotely interested.

[@blaznskais2048]

Even if it was a date, if she was the one to initiate and invite you for dinner at minimum she should have split the check, not expect you to pay for both of y’all. I’ll grab dinner with guy friends (just guys I serve with) and usually whoever made the invite is the one who pays unless we specified otherwise ahead of the meal. That’s just common courtesy.

[@Gromitz101]

@@blaznskais2048 It gets worse, she knew I didn't have a job...hence why I didn't expect to pay for a date considering she knew that. She ordered a meal and wine. Well, my credit card took the hit that night.

[@blaznskais2048]

@@Gromitz101 that’s really bitchy of her. I’m sorry that happened to you.

[@viTaDBaD]

The statistics of not being approached is really "we want to get approached by the 5%". This goes back a bit to everyone ignoring June (Men's mental health awareness month...) The average guy is a "creep" to women whether he really is or not... Dating apps were great when they initially came out, but like the "internet" it has had more negative consequences than anyone would have imagined.

[@robinmattics2723]

I met my husband while I was the front desk supervisor at the hotel he was staying at. He would hide sugar packets and say we were out so he had an excuse to talk to me. Now we've been together for 2 1/2 years and have a beautiful son together. Also bonus, he had seen me 3 years before we met, while I was the supervisor at a different hotel that he was also a guest at, he just never had a chance to talk to me that first time. He didn't even realize I was the same girl until months into our relationship when he saw an old selfie I took at work there. I had different glasses and changed up my hair so I looked pretty different, but something still drew him in.

[@philmstud2k]

*Women want to be approached by hot, financially secure Top 5% men.

[@bookworm_thg]

i think especially the whole "ick" thing definitely made a LOT of guys lose confidence when it comes to making the first move

[@kabuto2339]

omg .thank you so much . as a guy who experienced that feeling its really good that a girl is calling that out. now i still get ptsd from that.

[@mysteriouscameraman]

This is so true. The only reason some men make the first move is because the woman has to put out 100000 hints and make sure the man knows there are no icks before they can make the move. Icks have ruined modern dating.

[@Ghillie_Beast_yt]

@@mysteriouscameraman those hints will always go over our heads

[@Michael_Pepin]

​@@Ghillie_Beast_yt Or if they don't go over your head, you convince yourself that you're thinking crazy and she was just being nice

[@Ghillie_Beast_yt]

@@Michael_Pepin that’s usually my thought process

[@FaithFallRepentGraceRepeat]

Back in the day; women used to drop handkerchiefs in front of men to encourage them to make the first move (which is really making the first move). It shoes that women know who they want. Smart men pursue women that show significant interest.

[@justinowens2465]

I was about to say the exact same thing. Also back in the day it was quite common for girls to give guys alittle smile and wave from the across the room. I not sure why the dynamics have devolved into women saying they would never make the first move.

[@harleyskawronik6382]

Bridgerton has truly destroyed modern flirtation (thank god). We would send out heart emojis, but they would write poetry. We all need tradition in our lives.

[@tmntgirl4life]

My mom gave me the advice when I was looking for someone she said “if you see a nice guy just simply smile and if he is interested he would let you know” that Sunday I spotted this fella with his family I never saw in our church a few pews behind me. In my mind was like he is so cute so I simply smiled and he smiled back. The rest of the service I kept wanted to turn back but forced myself to look forward but I felt something telling me to turn around and I did and gave him another smile. His family left right away so I couldn’t talk to him but we saw each other again the next Sunday and his family stayed to socialize. I decided to just approach him and say hi as I turn around to look for him. He was right behind me and introduced himself. We now have been married 3 years and have a baby. And my husband has said “the reason I married you is because of your gorgeous smile.” It does make all the difference ladies.

[@iguess2739]

"in our church" So that's why

[@initiatorhater0688]

i assume he was the one that asked you out though

[@tmntgirl4life]

@@initiatorhater0688yes he did. My first move was legit the smile which he approached me introduced ourselves and chatted and he asked me out but we chose the venue together which was a church fundraiser vs a coffee shop. The fundraiser was the day after Valentine’s Day that we had our first date and during the fundraiser at the last dance of the night during the song “I can’t Help falling in Love with You” from Elvis he whispered if he would be my boyfriend and i agreed

[@ch3cksund3ad]

Yeah, that worked for you It rarely works for anyone else I had a woman do this, and she ghosted me after she planned a day to get together

[@qmulus1]

Most women will never do this with most men. Most men are considered unattractive by most women.

[@jonathanwingmusic]

Sad thing is, I don't think smiling or small talk is really considered a green light anymore. Men can be labelled creeps for "misreading signals" - assuming there is an invitation to flirt where there was none - and therefore don't really bother.

[@bookworm_thg]

yeahhh exactly

[@HigumaHoney]

that's why you should seek opportunities to hang out more! like grab a few people to go on a group luncheon and try to sit next to her or somewhere you can have a direct conversation with her. gradually shrink the size of this group until it's just you two grabbing coffee before the gym or a smoothie after a workout. then you ask her out on an official date! it's true that most men don't understand building up to the moment of truth.

[@boopyournose5698]

Because it actually isn't a green light, a lot of times that is friendliness or being polite.

[@Astrofrank]

Correct

[@Uwanasora]

Yeah, my best advice is to ignore the whole signal thing and just go up to someone you like respectfully and make your intentions clear in a respectful manner. If the person does anything except treat you with the same level of respect, ignore them. They are a low-grade husk of what a human being actually is.

[@tk6613]

From a guy: this would make an ocean's worth of difference. Thank you, Brett.

[@blueiepureesteluca]

That's how it worked with my boyfriend. I liked him from the moment I saw him. So I went on and said hi so he knew I'm open to talk in case he wanted to. Worked like a dream for us

[@aylahfife7308]

@tk6613 would it really? I've asked out guys before and it's never been received well...

[@tk6613]

@aylahfife7308, I hear you. There is no certainty in this type of situation. People can react in innumerable ways, and it is unfortunate that the approach has not worked for you thus far. I do believe that it is the right approach from a broader perspective. I think that this will fix the problem - at scale. Excluding one particularly outgoing and unabashed friend of mine, the rest of my mates do not want to make women feel uncomfortable or threatened. Even if we would like to express interest, we miss that opening opportunity for this reason. If I may have an additional moment to elucidate, using myself as an example: I am a bald gentleman with a slightly built frame. I also have a beard, though well-maintained. I'm early 30s. I am a military veteran, and I generally move about in a purposeful manner. I have been told my general appearance can be intimidating (by men and women). For me, it's become second nature - through training. The kicker: I'm a total nerd. I love reading, learning in general, playing card games, board games, and video games on occasion. I even watch anime sometimes. I like computers, and financial concepts. And I love theoretical and/or philosophical discussions. Overall, I'm quite mellow. I am a severe introvert, and I have studied body language (for several years) in order to communicate with people more effectively. I observe how my general appearance or movement makes those around me uncomfortable. It's not constant, of course. But it does happen. If you knew nothing about me as mentioned, and I approached you - how might you feel?

[@aylahfife7308]

@tk6613 honestly I think I'd be really excited just to talk to someone, for reference, I'm quite a young woman and my dad is also ex-military and can be intimidating. I've asked out multiple guys before and the thing that's really off putting is the consistent response I'm getting which is, "ew, you're crazy, you should off yourself" I want to put myself out there but there's too many things I worry about. Will he try to take advantage of me? Does he actually like me or is just going along with it for fun? Is he gonna call me terrible things? Am I going to be the one wearing the pants in the relationship, cause that's not what I want at all, I really just want to be honestly pursued by a guy who's genuinely interested in me, which has never happened before

[@tk6613]

@aylahfife7308 @aylahfife7308, those that would ask you to 'off yourself' are clearly in need of further development. That type of behavior is unacceptable. Men do not behave this way. Children, perhaps. There is a graceful way to turn somebody down, however you may feel. Personality, appearance, ethics, interests, and (unfortunately) politics are all factors. That person(s) could have said: "No, but thank you." Let us hope these person(s) grow up. They sound young. There are males who have a using nature, and who are "along for the fun." Undeniably so. I would say the same exists for women, though that parasitic nature would present itself differently. What is your risk tolerance? I suppose we could choose to never reach out to anybody - but that doesn't accomplish our hopeful goal either. Good guys - generally speaking - understand that there is a physical power dynamic. We would much prefer women to see that as strength, safety, and protection for them. We do not want women seeing that as a weapon for abuse. My friends and I abhor the notion. I have taken risks in starting both conversations and relationships. Certainly, it was an uncomfortable experience. But I have had some excellent relationships as a result. Some were several years long. Though they did not last, I gained a tremendous amount of life experience from them. I would not trade those experiences. I rarely think on them negatively, either. I would not stop trying, were I you. It may work out wonderfully. If not, at least you'll learn something from the experience. And if you find a creep, then there's always pepper spray 🌶🌶🌶👍

[@meve531]

Men are not hard to please. As a wife of 12 years here's my advice: 1. Be kind and respectful 2. Be loyal 3. Feed him 4. Sleep with him 5. Keep your home clean

[@crazysilly2914]

This is a copy-paste: My roommate got the cops called on him by his girlfriend of one year. The allegations were so serious that even after assurance from his lawyer that he has a solid case, he violated the terms of his parole and fled the country to return home in secret. He was about to graduate from his 3 year program as well. I was cleaning out the things he left behind and he had dozens of pipe cleaner flowers and a jar filled with 100 compliments among other leftovers from their relationship. Even after all that lovey dovey crap she destroyed his life. I have never had a girlfriend before and getting one sounds even riskier then before.

[@Yoni0505Blogspot]

sadly women who can do these 5 simple things are extremely uncommon these days.

[@suryasingh9738]

@meve531 What about doing fun things with him?

[@meve531]

@suryasingh9738 oh sure! I'm not saying this is a complete list, just the basics. Probably depends on his love language too

[@steven121290]

@@suryasingh9738 it's a bonus but not a necessity. If you can do the 5 things listed above, you are pretty much guaranteed to be married at some point, even if you're not that attractive. by the way, #5 includes not being an emotional wreck and stressing your man out with unreasonable mind games.

[@brighid324]

I technically made the first move on my fiancé. He was speaking with another girl but it became clear that she was not interested. Not sure what happened but i had a moment of boldness and i moved our casual friend convos into more flirty ones and indicated that id like to go on a date. Now we are engaged to be married in April! My mom on the other hand straight up asked my dad "When are you going to ask me out on a date?" and now theyre going on 28 years of marriage.

[@NerdlySquared]

It’s really that simple. Approaches made by men are rebuffed on average 89% of the time (measured by getting a number), while female made approaches are rebuffed only 20% of the time. That is women in all levels of attractiveness. Keep in mind that rejection rate includes men who are not single. So just by pure math, it’s like literally picking any guy you want and getting at least a contact, that’s how it works out in practice for women who do it. The women who can turn a contact into a relationship thereafter (rarer) are laughing.

[@peterharrell7305]

That's basically how my wife got my attention. "Aren't you going to ask for my number?!" I had no idea how to react.

[@Laure__Line]

Your mom is the best ! 😂

[@william_SMMA]

@@peterharrell7305 my man folded 😂

[@rodolfoarielgarciatecpa8459]

I'm glad it worked of for you. However, men are told that we are abusive and predators if we engage in a situation like the one you are just describing "turning a platonic relationship into a romantic one". I've heard women hate this, they will say something like "he was a fake friend" or "he never actually cared about me".

[@hatchhermit77]

If women made the first move, we'd still have 90% of men not being approached.

[@genshinsage]

Exactly! 90% of men are invisible ghosts.

[@Twotone-ld1fb]

True, most women are only looking for the top 1-5% of men. And then there is an issue with men that fall in that bracket that are Chads and Tyrone's that are keeping multiple women on the chain just feeding their false hope of landing him.

[@atyomommashouse9881]

This is the BIG thing that isn't being discussed,tradcons like Brett Cooper won't discuss this because it's part of their grift. VERY attractive men ARE being approached,but this is such a small number of men due to women's Hollywood/TikToc standards that men think it's not happening. And women don't see these things from mens point of view because they don't actually view men as "human" (date-able) unless he's attractive or rich.

[@Dwbulldog04]

There are Facebook groups in different cities called “Are we dating the same man”. I saw a video where a friend group of women went out with the same guy on Hinge without knowing it until later. This was in New York City for context

[@father5946]

@@Dwbulldog04 That's because they all chase after the same guys lol aka chad and Tyrone. aka 80% of women chasing after 20% of men. Probably 90/10 now.

[@bbyhulk21]

It's funny that Brett says it's a small percentage of women ruining it for the majority of women but the internet is inundated with women saying it has to be the "right" man to approach them.

[@mood2246]

LIES. Tick tok is not the whole internet and NOT a reliable source. Literally has the D@mbest people on the planet on that app. its super toxic cesspool

[@RCDiaz-Balart]

Imagine a generation that is extremely open about choosing their own gender, extremely open about their sexuality and at the same time so fragile about human interaction that every interaction is sexual harassment?

[@gouthamvarma381]

generation of WOMEN call it what it is

[@stevenmcallister9952]

Go touch grass. The internet isn’t real life. Nobody considers every interaction as harassment. That’s just red pill propaganda.

[@mikezerker6925]

@@gouthamvarma381exactly! Men have basically stayed the same, it’s the delulu women that have gone nuts

[@DDD11239]

​@@mikezerker6925Delulu? Strange slang.

[@mikezerker6925]

@@DDD11239 I can’t spell out the word (deelusionaaal) because YT deletes my comment (I already tried) that’s the only reason!

[@Yuukicrossx01]

I've been saying this for a long time. PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN! My husband and me when we go out to eat or to do anything, our phones are in our pockets/(my purse). The reason being is our focus is on each other. Also, we met at Denny's Diner, he came up to me and asked me if I wanted to join him him for dinner. We sat and laughed and joked and talked for an hour and a half. We have been married for 8 years now. It's amazing that if you just put your phone down and look at the person in front of you, things begin to change!

[@luisekahnt7387]

Putting your phones away in social situations is so important and yet so seldomly done. It shows to the people around you that you are there for them 100% and that you value their presence. To me there are only 2 exceptions when it's okay to have your phone out and even use it. The first is using it together to show pictures, look up something relevant to the conversation, or write down a note or future date. The 2nd exception is any kind of quasi emergency situation going on, which could be a sister/friend/wife being pregnant near their due date and you don't want to miss the go call, or a family member across the country is having a medical crisis and you're waiting for an update, etc.

[@adisan4679]

Well that was a different time now things are quite different

[@indiasupportstrumpwwg1wga927]

why didn’t you ask him to sit with you for dinner at Dennys?

[@Yuukicrossx01]

@@indiasupportstrumpwwg1wga927 because I believe men should take the lead. I'm not a feminist at all! I grew up in a conservative house hold and my father always told the lead.

[@BS_Profile]

He got EXTREMELY lucky. Most women would've said "no thanks" and then after he left, proceeded to tell all of their friends (and possibly all of TikTok) about the "weird creepy guy at Denny's" and how she doesn't feel safe now.

[@depressedraptorsfan4907]

As a dude let me tell you, if a girl ever approached me to ask for my number or even just talk to me in the gym or sum I would go numb that shit never happens 😂😂 i would not give her a harassment charge

[@Ghillie_Beast_yt]

I would probably think it’s a joke or something

[@Chris.Rhodes]

​@@Ghillie_Beast_yt right. As a man, who's wife of 12 years just ghosted me back in February, women are crazy now n days.

[@__thebadger]

​@@Ghillie_Beast_yteither that or she's with the Cia. Can't be any other reason

[@JugglingJuggalos]

Ikr? Not that I'm going to have a lot of girls approaching me, but now I have to worry about it more😅

[@mr.s9783]

Moo ok at if us are so damn oblivious that we won’t even know if a girl is dropping hints. If you want a guy and he’s not getting it, MAKE HIM GET IT.

[@laradacostamuniz4714]

I started a conversation with my husband. One year later we got married and we have been happy for almost 14 years now! He is shy and I just gave him the 'nudge'/'green light' and ta-da 😂🤣

[@Esmeralda-2003]

That's cool. I am dating my boyfriend because I came up to him and started talking to him. Well, we were friends first and then we developed feelings for each other. But that is how we came together. By me going to talk to him.

[@jim2386]

Hey word here is “talk”! Women think they’re giving huge signals and us men don’t do non verbal cues well, or if by a miracle we think we saw a signal, we’ll assume worst case and move on. Why? Because with most men if you’re not saying in verbally, you’re not “saying”anything. My wife made me realize this many times. The classic “Tony and Stacey must be having relationship problems.” -wife Me: “Hows that, they didn’t tell me anything…” Wife: “you didn’t notice she didn’t have a ring on and how she didn’t look at him all night?” Me: “No….wow.” I swear it’s one of women’s superpowers from being brought up to socialize non verbally or something. :)

[@YouFoundNick]

Anything can be considered "cat calling" in the eyes of the law. That falls in the category of s- harassment. As a 22 year old man, I'm not making the first move. That's why we're shy. We don't want to be sued.

[@oriontherealironman]

That's really all it takes, we men are not complicated 😂

[@Mogamishu]

Only because he is tall.

[@jakevaughn7656]

I approached my husband (this is his account lol). I talked to him at the bus stop after class in college and asked him to get on the bus with me (he was getting on a different bus that went on the same route so I said “well, why don’t you get on this one with me?”). And he did and then later he asked me out :) now we’re married with a baby

[@UserRobot215]

@@jakevaughn7656 creepy

[@Kevin_Oskar]

A smile and a "hi" isn't always a green light from women. Sometimes they're just being nice. How do one tell the difference?

[@__thebadger]

Correct. I'm a bit of a gym rat, and I've heard all over the spectrum on this. Looking over and smiling can be one woman's way of "being nice" and another woman's way of flirting. Some women will say that if they like a guy, they will go up and ask if they can work in with them for a couple of sets. Others will say that they do it all the time because they want to do their routine and don't care about working in with someone. Just like poker, everyone has a different tell.

[@john-doe842]

True

[@anneshirley4942]

Haha I smile at anyone in the gym who will make eye contact but I would be more than happy to have a guy come up and talk to me 😂

[@anneshirley4942]

@@__thebadger I was in the gym the other day and I was taking a drink from my water bottle and walking at the same time, accidentally poured water down the front of myself 🤦made direct eye contact with the guy walking towards me and laughed and he didn't even smile... People in the gym are confusing 😂

[@lorieakin5771]

Women when they like a guy will smile while showing their teeth. If she's not into you, it will a pleasant smile and not showing her teeth. First smiles don't count, it will be that second smile that will let you know if she likes you.

[@TheNCreid]

If you want men to approach more, the culture around the topic needs to change. That's something women have to do. Men cannot do it, we won't be listened to. When you see posts and vids disparaging a man who tried to approach and did nothing wrong, or calling all men trash, etc., women need to call if out and shame the poster into stopping. Go Joey Swole on them. As long as those kind of posts are responded to with likes, "yes queens", and positivity, the only takeaway men at large will have is that women agree with it. Women need to be loudly confrontational to other women and say "You're out of line, you're making things worse, I don't support you."

[@uhnetwork7506]

I agree but they won’t and that’s why it’s just gonna get worse it’s sad really

[@laurenmiddleton1906]

Heck no, I don't agree with girls treating men like trash, those girls are trash. Most women who are conservative don't run men's names through the mud. I knew when I wasn't married that guys have it tough when it comes to asking women (not girls) out. I would never try to make them feel bad.There's a difference between women and girls.

[@Sparklyeyedmisfit]

..Women can make the first move..I have..but all women..are not the same..but listening to horror stories..😢.. isn't going to get you results..I've asked men out..every single one so far..said no..that is the risk that I took...I have to keep trying..❤..😊

[@kryptonianguest1903]

@@Sparklyeyedmisfit I suggest looking for a social gathering place where the men who go there like the type of woman that you are. Trying random guys on the street or the grocery store or places like that, has low odds of success for you.

[@Captain0Newman]

Correct, but women are usually group-followers at baseline. They have a strong desire to be accepted by other women, and are very unlikely to check other women if they think the group is against them

[@nichlasnest]

I made the first move, and we are going to be celebrating our 35th anniversary this year. We've raised seven wonderful children, are expecting grandchild number 14 and just moved our youngest out of our home to her new career. Go for it ladies! You may be amazed what a wonderful life you can have!

[@harleyskawronik6382]

35 years, that's beautiful.

[@blake7587]

Dude this is such a stupid comment. “35th Anniversay” as if you have ANY idea what it’s like today. 🙄 This isn’t 1950.

[@Louisee_]

@@blake7587 have some respect

[@avigobbleweiden]

@@blake7587dude what is your issue

[@blake7587]

@@Louisee_ No not when it’s totally irrelevant. Comparing his experience 35 years ago as if we can learn from it today is ridiculous. Today if someone listened to his advice they’d be in jail.

[@DavidZ4-gg3dm]

Millions of women say they can't get dates. Ask them how many times they've asked anyone on dates & the answer is usually zero.

[@colorfuloddity]

Not always, I’ve asked more guys on dates than I’ve been asked out myself

[@MetalGearLiberty]

@@colorfuloddityhe said usually not always

[@Nicholas-ze5vv]

The issue is the guessing game. They won't even show interest in guys they like. If they won't even show interest, do they just expect guys to read their minds, or ask every pretty girl they pass on a date?

[@chupachuuups706]

@@colorfuloddityhe said the answer is usually zero. And it’s true. It’s not about you

[@MagicWandn]

But i thought women were so empowered and so strong and independent.

[@benjaminv6489]

Years ago, I approached a girl I met through a friend, just trying to be friendly, and she instantly labeled me as a creep. She made a big deal out of it, even warning her friends to steer clear of me. It's experiences like this that have made me hesitant to approach women anymore. It’d be great if women took the initiative sometimes-it might change the whole dynamic.

[@SanchoPanza-wg5xf]

Many girls have never had a positive relationship with any man, be it a father, grandfather or uncle. Many have listened to their single mothers' strife with a string of "uncles" for years. You were treated unfairly.

[@UserRobot215]

Men need to stay away from women, and women should keep to themselves. All in all, both sides should ignore each other

[@HigumaHoney]

in college, there was a guy who was actively stalking his crush. one day he ran home (he lived next door to me) all freaked out coz the object of his affection had rallied a group of friends to reverse stalk him. they got one of his roommates to open the door and cornered him in the living room. tl'dr, she also liked him, and then they became the most lovey dovey couple i knew in my 4 years at college.

[@SayCheeseAndDie01]

@@UserRobot215stupid take

[@UserRobot215]

@@SayCheeseAndDie01 how come?

[@abnurtharn2927]

A lot of men stopped dating simply because, the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

[@fredstone4395]

Girl next door reference 😅

[@maryamadedeji24]

Huh

[@1986SuperVegeta]

Correct.

[@DDD11239]

​@@fredstone4395 The horror film, right?

[@sonicleaves]

I wish more people understood that it's ok to be alone. Relationships are overrated.

[@LostHate]

All single woman need to watch this. 100% true all of it.

[@gabriellecone2051]

I was at the bar with my dad, mom and sister, and my sister saw me eyeballing this tall handsome guy across the bar all night and dared me to talk to him. We stepped outside for some fresh air and I literally ran smack into his chest, the first thing that came out of my mouth was, “I’ve been looking for you.” We talked until last call, exchanged numbers and now I am marrying this man in October, two years later almost to the day!!!! He pursued me in the sweetest way and I’ve never felt more like a woman than when I’ve been with him ❤

[@heartvannilatornado]

Congrats, that is such a sweet story ❤

[@itsmejerkface]

Wonderful! Ain't love grand?

[@Goucherent]

It just so happens

[@Rachel-xg7hs]

“I’ve been looking for you!” 🥹

[@Mogamishu]

“Tall handsome guy”. Good to know too only became interested in him because of his height and looks. Says a lot about you.