2 Bears vs 2 Kelces | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 214

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Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert throw down a challenge gauntlet for fellow podcasters and football players Jason and Travis Kelce! The Bears discuss the type of competition they'd issue to the Kelce brothers and draw lines in the sand between the different communities that would be in their corners. They talk Taylor Swift, the influence of Swifties and the BeyHive, relatable athletes, top 5 female music artists of all time, and even get a call from Pat McAfee!
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KZbin Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:02:24 - Going After The Kelce Brothers
00:05:39 - Taylor Swift Is Legit
00:11:03 - Pat McAFee
00:18:47 - Randy Moss & Jason Williams
00:21:55 - Challenging The Kelce Brothers
00:30:14 - My Charity Can Beat Up Your Charity
00:34:02 - Pants Emergency
00:36:35 - Fandoms
00:43:52 - Community Versus Battles
00:54:58 - Pat McAfee Calls In
00:59:45 - Power Of Swifties
01:05:15 - President Bert/What Car Is TSwift?
01:08:37 - Top 5 Female Artists
01:11:35 - Superstar Normal People

[@rangleski3695]

"I wish we had meetings before the show" nearly died choking on my coffee

[@colinryan4737]

bro same I think my lung collapsed lmao

[@SpeedRacerx89]

Bert every episode: “hold up, I wonder, I wonder, no no, hang on, top 5.”

[@Christian-el2bz]

Don't forget "I just sh*t my pants! I sh*t my pants! I sh*t my pants! I sh*t my pants! I sh*t my pants! Hold up I just sh*t my pants" :P

[@Hysterik3o6]

And, “I just shit my pants.”

[@brandongibson3444]

😂😂😂

[@user-co5ir2mx4y]

"its so funny that....its interesting how....pull up some unrelated shit" Burp Cryshit

[@TheAdjuster1]

"I'm COMPLETELY OBSESSED with XXXXXX"...aka he fell asleep watching a 30 min youtube video on some south African dictator

[@Mike-fk6ik]

"I wish we had meetings before the show" bart: "why?" tim: "nothing" 😂😂😂😂😂

[@BenHittingGreens]

Again. Bert’s like ‘I seriously regret some things’ ‘here’s a message from better help’ lmao from Bert! 😂 you boys crazy 😂😅

[@ToXIIcGummYBeaR]

I can't believe Bert is a real human being

[@jhutchis100]

There’s nothing real about him

[@brewstar58]

@@jhutchis100🪳 ~It's never been proven~

[@jordostan]

I mean, if an alien asked you to introduce them to a real human being for research, you sure wouldn't choose Bort.

[@DadeMurphie]

@@jordostan I'd send them to Bert and ask them to investigate the Mickey Mantle gene.

[@tonybragassa6855]

You’re R word.

[@369_StudioG]

Brent is full on tik-toked. He's so close to ending up on Christina's curations

[@leomcintosh6043]

😂

[@lijahrock1801]

Wdym

[@369_StudioG]

@@lijahrock1801 he's being extra dumb and out of touch. Kinda like he's tarded.

[@matthewgierula5674]

Why do you think this podcast exists? The only thing missing is the portrait on the YMH set.

[@369_StudioG]

@matthewgierula5674 you aint wrong dude. Last few episodes ive seen of them both together, is just Tom waiting for Bart to say some wild dumb s#*t that he can laugh at.

[@connerhill4712]

Watching Bert finally get Tom back for the balloons by wiping his ass in front of him is wild.

[@joezwhalez1737]

yogi and booboo are instagating the funiest beef ever

[@JKimPersonal]

Tim and Bart really trying hard to show they still love each other with multiple episodes together in a row. I remember when my parents got divorced cause of alcohol. Ah the memories…

[@cpiece2450]

Yet you stay subscribed. Stfu up and enjoy the free content or gtfo.

[@boemomapetla9559]

😂😂😂

[@schavez5656]

It's, it's easy to have 2 global comedians in a room at one time. Sit down, like when you pee

[@josh-ng5xj]

@@schavez5656 who are the 2 global comedians?

[@roblav23]

They were all probably filmed the same day

[@HeavyHitta_83]

Bert is manic this episode he's having 50 conversations all with himself 😂

[@timsaxon5825]

Yep. There was a run of several where they had different guests and one where it kinda seemed like the god old days. But man, I’m checking out early again.

[@jamesharrison8077]

Welcome to 2 bears

[@karenbruce1693]

No this is the worst I’ve ever seen. Worried about him.

[@anthonywash6159]

Just skip the first 15 minutes, so Burnt Chrysler has some time to calm down.

[@leomcintosh6043]

😂

[@mikeaguilar8459]

With how much Tim loves grossing Charo out, he sounds just like her with the “UGHHH” 😂😂😂

[@Killsberry1]

Tom's face when Bert said Hamas made me cry laughing. 😅😂

[@thealphabeaver298]

5 mins in and Bertrand already has me overwhelmed

[@MrBlackhops19]

I was at 4:48 when I read this and then noticed😂. United Caves of Bert-ica

[@SOURCOFFIN]

Bert is literally the only interesting thing about this podcast are we watching the same thing???

[@MrBlackhops19]

@@SOURCOFFIN In my opinion, he’s interesting in the sense of trying to put yourself in his mindset of grandeur lol.

[@SOURCOFFIN]

@@MrBlackhops19 people thinks it’s grandeur but that’s how you SHOULD feel about yourself

[@SeekanDestroy03]

I only made it 3 mins LoL. I just look for the Solo Tom episodes now.

[@jobe958]

Excited to watch Bert explain why Tom's story is relatable to Bert's life.

[@delataylor]

Haha!!!

[@timwarren9383]

😂😂

[@zanedear1337]

I like how brent says “i grew up with 2 little girls” instead of “i raised 2 little girls” as if he knows hes still a child

[@verakoo6187]

Lmao he was referring to his sisters

[@isaacvandermeer9841]

​@@verakoo6187Was Taylor Swift around when Bert was growing up tho, think he was talking about his daughters

[@finessum2timez]

Good Gawd 🤦. 🤣🤣🤣 He is never not putting his foot in his mouth without even knowing it.

[@Ryanconstant12124]

@@verakoo6187his sisters listening to Taylor swift in 1939?

[@Bxc45]

Long time listener. Maybe have watched 4 episodes in the last 3 months. This is now the bert show. Feel bad for Tom because I could listen to him all day.

[@rustyshackleford1647]

The title should say tom and the audience listen to bart be a fangirl😂😂

[@daddydearest7548]

Man if you got a written transcript of this show it would be wild how many words Bert says to Toms.😂😂😂

[@ANomadNamedDave]

Someone could post a wordcount after each show, but that's a lot of work for very little funny

[@AudibleVisibIe]

That's actually a great idea lol

[@andrewwhite1305]

Honestly I've never seen such perfect trolling before the YMH fan base, the Mommies are ruthless.

[@Tiffany.Carnes]

I agree! Look at Garth lol

[@JOHNBOYC2]

The poors aren't enjoying your content as much as they used to huh? Such a baller 😂

[@jackwitcombe765]

Bert has to be one of the least self aware human beings on the planet 😂

[@grantpowell4135]

100%

[@dalelane1948]

Then adds adderol

[@dalbrecht92]

Dont talk shit it you cant spell...

[@jasonwoodring9977]

That prides himself on being self aware hah

[@stephenconley293]

No he actually thinks tom is his friend.

[@stevenlamb1349]

Long time fan but man listening to Bert’s train of thought is like talking to a toddler

[@user-vv8bq7mm2o]

Seriously, he has grade school gym teacher phony enthusiasm vibe or what have you

[@undrrpar1]

I think it’s worse

[@ItsParachuteAdams]

lol like you could do better on a podcast with1.8 million subs! be humble and sit down

[@stevenlamb1349]

@@ItsParachuteAdams what is this Bert’s burner account? Chill.. 😂

[@MileenaUltra]

@@ItsParachuteAdams It's not about how many subs they have now, it's about how many more they could have. It's nice to be successful, but Bert likely holds back the podcast. Especially if the Like to Dislike ratio is to say anything -- or even just the episodes when he's not there. His solo episodes are the worst on here.

[@WalkerRamsey]

the look on todd's face when bart almost shit his pants went from surprise, to an excited curiosity, to understanding what just happened all wrapped up with repulsion and almost vomiting 🤣 truly no other podcast out there like 2 bears

[@Drilla81]

GLAD YOU FINALLY ADMITTED YOU WERE PICKED BY JOE AND HIS HANDLERS!!!!!!!!!!

[@kevinweimer4734]

Listening to Bert is like a fever dream!

[@Spicy_Italian_Sausage]

Bert really do be shitting his pants

[@je__.]

he had done it in one of his shows on stage recently 😂

[@ez123489]

I mean it happens, but wiping in the studio is pretty grotesque

[@williamRE]

He do be for real!?

[@williamRE]

He do be for real!?

[@Jpiss]

He’s literally the worst actor ever, you can’t tell this is bullshit?

[@samforshee2390]

Great album from one of the best bands ever. You guys should have a segment where you discuss the albums you're displaying each week.

[@kylesampson3174]

I always thought it would be cool if Tom signed his album of the week and auctioned it off for charity or something. 🤷🏼‍♂️

[@rippittupp5607]

Bert’s on a different level now. Dude loves hearing himself talk. 😂 This is why I LOVE it when they’re on Rogans podcast together. Rogan isn’t shy about telling Bert to stfu and letting others talk.

[@paulklopper5841]

wish we had meetings before the show :D

[@TalkingThrones]

This is where Tom and Bert will try to explain how they're better athletes than the Kelce bros.

[@fairwaybrothers3235]

the craziest cross over seeing TT in the Two bears comment section lmaoooo

[@user-cc9vw4mo6g]

@@fairwaybrothers3235who

[@DadeMurphie]

@@fairwaybrothers3235 he probably forgot to switch accounts 🤣

[@WicKedwiNd91]

Lmfao

[@CraigSmith-qq3sr]

These keep getting more and more incredibly psychotic. Comedy!!!! Love ya Mark 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@stillholding4975]

Stopped watching this a while ago. Checked back in and I'm definitely checking back out.

[@EricJh21690]

45 year old field goal..then proceeds to say 35 year old field goal absolutely killed me 😂😂😂

[@gavinsmith6108]

Of course this friendship works out it's literally a chaotic energy gremlin and psychopath nerd. Love these two

[@UniteOrDie2024]

Best comment ever!

[@MrMenok]

Man it’s getting hard to find a comment that is t shitting on Bert 🫤. Had to scroll for a while for this one

[@Crewton650]

I love being able to watch this show and Pat. Absolutely amazing

[@justin_la81]

The look on Tom’s face when Brent talks is priceless

[@logancade342]

Dude, are we in a Tom's Rebranding arc that ends with Tim hosting late night TV? 😂

[@S1X_Bucks]

I doubt the guy who hosts the most offensive podcast is gonna move into late night.

[@samanthab1923]

Is that what the Jon Stewart stuff is about? So random

[@gurshu12]

@@S1X_Bucks "the most offensive podcast" lol

[@EZDoes1t]

@@S1X_BucksI wouldn’t be too sure on that… jimmy kimmel was the host of The Man Show and was featured on numerous bits on the Stern Show. While those might be considered tame by todays standards (or extremely offensive depending on which lens you’re looking through), there were definitely edgy for their time and now he’s been a fixture on late night tv for years.

[@S1X_Bucks]

@gurshu12 ya. Is there one, more dark and dirty, than YMH. If so, send me a link. Lol

[@matthewmitchell7221]

Kelce challenge - Drag Race! Tommy likes to go fast and Trav has a Rolls... lets fucking gooooooooooooo

[@NotSoTrippy]

Bert showed up to this episode on DEMON TIME! LMFAO

[@TayHumes92]

Bert must be drinking again lol

[@user-gl2gg1hz5b]

He’s a bright tomato again lol

[@garfoonga1]

Again? He hasnt stopped

[@davidhowey597]

Who in their right mind thinks plus-sized comedian Burnt Crystals ever quit the sauce?

[@NCFam.....]

***FYI*** For anyone who wants to hear Tom’s voice....just skip to every other commercial. You’re welcome 🤦🏼‍♀️ Bert, man....Bless!

[@Sonofgrievous]

Santino is like best buds with Kelce. They golf together. Just hit him up

[@chaimae6407]

Tim's face. Every time he reacts to Bart. 🤣

[@carybrittain2541]

Raise money for "This guy and his kid" And "this guy"is me. And my kid and his future. Yeah? Sounds great! Let's go!

[@whootywhoots]

I only came to work to listen to 2B1C. I get to train my new Office Assistant and not looking forward to it. This will help me get through the first few hours.

[@Jammars9]

is Bart ACTUALLY losing weight? or just buying bigger hats and shirts. . .

[@sonnyboy1618]

No visible difference

[@Stealth1919]

Losing weight 1 shart at a time.

[@sleep_sounds]

I feel like its the emperors new clothes. He looks no different but he acts like hes so in shape and everyone is saying how great he looks in the comments.

[@jhutchis100]

He went from 295 to 283 and thinks that means he’s in great shape now

[@JDSharar13]

He’s definitely lost weight. Go watch a 2 bears from September. You guys can hate him by all means but don’t pretend he looks the same lmao

[@justincentraltexas]

Biggest difference between the two podcasts is one of them doesn't suck. I'm looking at you blert.

[@jeremyespinosa2237]

New Heights refers to their fan army as 92 percenters. Which I never bothered to look up why until now. It is a reference to Jason Kelce talking about Eagles running a QB sneak. He says "92% of the time it works Everytime." Which is also a reference to Anchorman. "60% of the time, it works every time." In regards to Sex Panther cologne.

[@jeremypaone3352]

Berts taking another step out of the closet with each and every episode.

[@matthewhadley4526]

Do a cook-off with the kelces

[@michaelweber9290]

Hate to see them retire but they will never surpass this episode. Good career fellas. Hang it up. Amazing 😂

[@user-wt4np8nf8e]

Don’t forget the Bill Mafia !!! One of the greatest fan base in the world !!

[@sporkspeak]

sometimes I wish I had a Bart in my life to bring the fun, excitement and dazzle to my every day…. then I watch things like this and see how deep he can actually dig a hole and realize I like where I am and who I associate with just fine.

[@garfoonga1]

You really do not want a severe alcoholic in your life

[@sporkspeak]

@@garfoonga1 I already have a few so that’s the lesser of the many evils presented

[@laney7929]

He literally thought he shat himself and then wiped his butthole with a tissue in front of everyone without washing his hands after 🤢

[@snarkycharlies]

Bert's the guy you wanna run into while you're on vacation - drunkingly laugh your ass off for 2 days, exchange numbers, and then never speak again.

[@MileenaUltra]

@@garfoonga1 Hey, he's not an alcoholic. He just gets addicted to everything. /s

[@Wonkzzilla]

Binge & Cringe should be their bear nicknames. lol

[@AirWindFire]

But what would be Toms name?

[@JesusHComedy]

@@AirWindFire😂

[@ItsParachuteAdams]

gayyyyy

[@LukeWeyrauch93]

The Kelces could never do a podcast better than Tom and Brett

[@ArmTheSpook]

Burt for president sounds pretty good... Tom as president, even better

[@kdizzy333]

I’d love to be a fly on the wall when Bert meets a huge celebrity who has no idea who he is

[@garfoonga1]

So anyone outside of comedy? Im pretty sure even the few who worked with him wouldnt recognize him. Cant see Mark hamil remembering him at all

[@Revolution1117]

Well then you need to watch when Bart crash a ZOOM convo Whitney Cummings was having with Sandler (who had no idea who Brent was) during the pandemic. It's the MOST hilarious fan-boy meltdown ever...introducing Adam, wrong movie names and all. GOLD!! Just google all 3 names together...should pop right up.

[@jeremykhan887]

Not sure if it's been scrubbed from the internet or if it was a weird fever dream, but I recall him meeting Everlast being ridiculously cringey and uncomfortable.

[@AD-df5tm]

I mean, thats basically anyone then lol. Outside of people who frequent comedy podcast nobody knows who Bert is.

[@filthyfrank.5]

​@garfoonga1 nobody knows who mark is bud 💀

[@logancade342]

That Bertosterone be hittin today. 😂

[@jamesmcquaid9502]

Tosh.0 podcast is the new wave ladies and gents.

[@dylantijerina9903]

Bust out the dance floor with the Kelce brothers. For your competition!

[@danielmeuler2877]

Even after all these episodes, Berts Delusion Still takes me by Surprise some times . "I bet the Kelce's look up to Us". 😂🙃 Ya,, I'm sure they totally do.

[@Anthony-nt6mr]

Ha haa right exactly Tom is a legit comedian and Podcaster, but Bert's stand up sucks imo. Travis and his bro probably don't even know who Bert is let alone look up to him

[@Samiam88]

@@Anthony-nt6mrthey just mentioned Bert a couple episodes ago lol

[@liberatetheforks]

I love how burnt laughs like the air being squeezed from a balloon

[@Hello.Newman]

Excellent video! Just bought the same machine to do some manly sewing (repairing torn Levi’s). Love this video. Great job!

[@CpRoOtY]

I really do hope they do the Charity Vs Charity thing. It would be so much fun to follow the "war" but also would be a very good cause. a Win Win

[@lacefacethegreat]

I really thought the Kelce bros were gonna be in here 🤣🤣

[@jaybabexox]

Same. I was so excited. I am praying someday we get a crossover 😂

[@Betty-Boop809]

That was their intention, they need views.

[@closer20jc]

​@@Betty-Boop809lmfao been watching the "downfall"

[@jessicabecause3717]

Nope just a delusional, narcissistic monologue about pipe dreams.

[@patrickpanda3068]

Burnt Ends shitting his pants causing Tim to almost puke......priceless

[@deth2sokpuppets504]

Bert is all over the place lol i just watch tom just taking the rollercoaster of a ride bert brings lol 😅

[@boakeen]

Did bert really just say billy mcfarland from fyre festival is a hall of famer 😂 13:00

[@dr_von_braun3704]

Tell me why Bert is starting to look like Bruce Willis 🤣🤣🤣

[@danielmeuler2877]

it's to bad Bruce has that fuct up Neurological Disease and Bert doesn't.

[@migrantson]

Cuz he has early onset dementia :(

[@jessicabecause3717]

Oof

[@lindapenner7064]

Die haaard 5

[@worldsocold639]

You should build a cultural coliseum where all these groups can go ham on each other for our entertainment

[@sassykat030]

This felt like a master class in marketing even the part where Bert said, ”show me a piece of tissue real quick”

[@thesrebringo]

I can't believe bert almost shitting his pants isn't being more talked about down here in the comments 🤣🤣

[@kathye.4026]

I almost hurled twice. Sh#tting and snotting later on.

[@joshisajedi2461]

That’s what children do.

[@davidmark7785]

At this point I wouldn't mess with the swifties. Their Fandom for her is too crazy

[@garrgravarr]

Seriously, this cannot be overstated. They habitually murder people on Twitter. Big people.

[@brandonwatts2244]

6 minutes in .. I can’t anymore I can’t take Bert

[@Jimboslice35]

12 and I’m switching off

[@mob7599]

What makes 2 bears, 1 cave great is the talk about random stuff going on. When a guest bear is on, it’s more of an interview that isn’t different than any other podcast.

[@spencernelson1255]

All you gotta do to beat their podcast is that both of you need to show up every week 🤣🤣

[@bdavidson43087]

Shoutout to Bart for that sweet KC Monachs shirt and his Travis Kelce envy lol

[@LA_i6]

I'm confident Bert could talk over both Kelce bros without even breaking a sweat.

[@S.r413]

Jason Wife is very involved in the Eagles charity to remember lol

[@lumpydavidg2201]

God I love this ridiculous banter! Introducing the 21st century’s Abbott & Costello

[@jaybabexox]

TOMS FACE WHEN BERT SAYS HAMAS 😂😂😂😭😭😭😭

[@andrewquintero01]

You guys lost my vote when Bert wiped, but somehow reeled me BACK IN with Tom’s reaction. Unrivaled dynamic duo 😂

[@andykopach4718]

Definitely a Super Bowl halftime show corn hole competition.

[@je__.]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 old-school 2 bears vibes love it

[@travvibatty1554]

Bert looks like he takes that beard on and off with velcro

[@xYMxNUTTER]

He also looks and sounds like he’s taking adderall lol

[@cadaklysm7237]

This is all I'm going to see from now on. 😂😂

[@garfoonga1]

Probably doing the steve harvey. Fill in with mascara

[@jesseleesamples]

This is one of the best episodes in a while. The Kelce podcast fans are called the 92%ers btw, and I hope there’s a crossover at some point cause they’re awesome lol

[@PsychoBeast017]

Damn Bert’s looking good on this episode . Glad to see it

[@armandonunez2038]

The most Tom talked at once was during the ad read 😂😂

[@magoo4151]

Bert (almost) shitting his pants has to be top 10 bears moment

[@user-gl2gg1hz5b]

What about when nadav shit his pants? 😂

[@brianhourihan5613]

ah hundred percent

[@winsalot84]

​@@user-gl2gg1hz5btrue but we didn't know that till he quit and that episode had a lot of highs we're still chasing

[@jonathanramirez5870]

Word count first 13 minutes: Tom - 50 words Bert - 666 words

[@sarjsrf]

the hardest ive laugh so hard at that pause

[@jrob9397]

This podcast was a fever dream😂

[@Katelyn.Eby1215]

Omg this actually made me LOL a couple times... goood job Tim and Bart.

[@DDYLAN19]

WOW! I don't think I've laughed that hard in a while, Kudos guys!!! New fan!!!! Oh and I love the Kelce's too!!!!

[@user-jx2em4kx5o]

Hilarious to hear Bert go right from Pat McAfee to Randy Moss! That was Pat's favorite player growing up!!

[@whipcoolwhite]

Yall always upload when im at work scavenging for podcasts!! Thank you for the early morning laughs and smiles

[@BasedGod-ey5ee]

Its the same time every week....for like 83 years

[@mandomann8411]

@@BasedGod-ey5eeexactly

[@Mmbeuch]

As a member of the BEYHIVE, and a fan of these two knuckleheads, you got us 🐝 🐝 🐝

[@S.r413]

Omg the way he said he got the jab he’ll be on our side, I almost died 😭🤣🤣

[@themike54]

The most offensive thing to ever come out of Bert's mouth: "Booger McFarland, Hall of Famer."

[@kazvall8157]

I wish Bart would let Tim talk more

[@Porch06489]

Show has really jumped the shark. At least we have the old episodes to look back on

[@Hysterik3o6]

Who watches old shit?