Game of Thrones Abridged #91: Tyrion IV, ACOK

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[@seanfilderar2377]

This makes waiting for TWOW bearable.

[@JoshuaKevinPerry]

no

[@cheesewald]

"Three years ago" 😭

[@granthill1412]

Now we wait as long for the book as the next episode

[@ianmcgregor576]

@@cheesewaldnot to mention we haven’t had one of these for 7 months

[@ceilingfanenthusiast6041]

19:02 I always wondered how Alt Shift/Shwift felt about Game of Thrones season 8. It was obvious that he didn't love it but he always felt suprisingly lenient. I guess it was just professionalism. It was really cool to see him talk shit about it. Btw I love Asoiaf abridged, never stop the series and never stop the tangents!

[@ayourmum8521]

Yea pretty much everyone thinks it was bad. Ya gotta pay such little attention to enjoy the last few seasons. It was made purely for people watching in bars and cheering for dragons.

[@Boyzby]

Sad thing is that season 8 probably would have been better written if they actually used either the darts or wind tube thingy method.

[@eagonzo6573]

@@ayourmum8521 as adm

[@michaelalan6459]

Timmet son of Timmet is one of my favorite characters.

[@thecreepero3921]

Using a chain to stop enemy ships is actually historical. The best known example is the Romans using a chain in Konstantinoupolis to stop enemy ships from getting to the Golden Horn. It was used in the last defense of the city in 1453, but it may have been in use earilier as well.

[@ygritteweirwood9298]

There’s still a piece of the chain they had at West Point for the Hudson River for the revolution too.

[@azh698]

@39:40 On the question of the chain: One historical example is the Byzanitnes. They had a chain protecting the harbour of Constantinople from enemy ships. This worked for a long time, until the Ottomans literally dragged a large part of their fleed on land around the hill and pushed them back into the water inside the bay.

[@shetlandapache949]

Counting to twenty is a common theme in the writing, signifying you need to use your fingers and toes to count

[@thisguy8106]

Bron is the ultimate survivor. He did survive at the mercy of the flip of a coin, literally.

[@gilgabro420]

Littlefinger is absolutely somone to use reddit.

[@AltSchwiftX]

He's a mod on r/wallstreetbets

[@gurkhajake]

39:20 I know I'm like a year late on this but the whole "chain being used to stop boats" thing actually has historical precedent. Constantinople had a massive chain suspended between two towers that could be used to block off the Golden Horn estuary (and consequently the harbor) when at times of war. Not sure when exactly it was built but we have multiple sources, centuries apart talking about how that chain caused problems to anyone trying to take the city

[@stevonico]

“An egg in the bush is better than a peg in the tush.” -Aristotle (probably)

[@lukasbanevicius5633]

Oh dearest Schwift, Bequeath on us the required sacrifice to summon an additional episode of GoT abridged? Jokes aside, pretty please? We can’t wait to reach to reach the 100th soon!

[@postpunk6947]

16:15 While still at Stokeworth, Lady Tanda falls from her horse when her saddle girth bursts. She shatters her hip in the accident. A stable boy is chastised for this, as he should have seen that the strap was worn. Cersei plots with Falyse and her husband, attempting to use them as her tools to get rid of Bronn. The plan backfires when Ser Balman challenges Ser Bronn to single combat, and Bronn kills Balman in an unchivalrous manner. Bronn hits Falyse and orders her gone. She returns to King's Landing, pleading with Cersei to give her the men to retake her castle. Cersei, fearing that the failure of the plot would undermine her position, gives Falyse to Qyburn instead and tells him that Falyse should never see the light of day again. When Cersei contemplates sending Falyse back to Castle Stokeworth to reclaim it from Bronn, Qyburn tells her that she is not able to feed herself, much less rule.

[@camdude2000]

Can’t wait to fall asleep to this tonight

[@AlbertAlbertB.]

"Farming or tax-farming is a technique of financial management in which the management of a variable revenue stream is assigned by legal contract to a third party and the holder of the revenue stream receives fixed periodic rents from the contractor. It is most commonly used in public finance, where governments (the lessors) lease or assign the right to collect and retain the whole of the tax revenue to a private financier (the farmer), who is charged with paying fixed sums (sometimes called "rents", but with a different meaning from the common modern term) into the treasury. Sometimes, as in the case of Miguel de Cervantes, the tax farmer was a government employee, paid a salary, and all money collected went to the government." -Wikipedia

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

I just realized that Tywin sending Tyrion to King’s Landing to act as Handy-Man makes no sense because Kevan Lannister is a thing. I don’t think he was otherwise occupied at the time, we see he’s got the skills to pay the bills in the position later on, he’s basically the Titus Labienus to Tywin’s Julius Caesar and Jules was delegating all sorts of shit to Le Benis. It’s really crazy when you find these little holes in the narrative because Ole Gorge is so good at making the events seem natural and the decision-making organic that when you realize a character would’ve naturally behaved differently in a situation but the plot demands differently it’s like you’re seeing through a peephole, through the artifice of the story, but just have that narrow, tiny window.

[@btarczy5067]

I don‘t fully agree. Tywin might at that point be almost sure about Jaime not surviving his imprisonment and in that moment Tyrion appears to be his only viable heir, as depressing as that may be to Tywin. Cersei seems to be making a mock of it and even if she was the most competent of political actors Tywin probably would not consider her. His obsession with legacy may outweigh what could be the more reasonable choice as in Yes-Man Kevan. But Kevan is not his son.

[@yeahey5947]

Was kevan not at war with him?kevan and twyin have done a lotta wars together

[@yavyav2281]

The chain across a bay is an historical event, the Byzantines built one for the Golden Horn of Constantinople. It worked really well against all sea assault ^^

[@faisalkamal4319]

Renly with a really competent hand (like Stannis) would be a great king

[@Fnidner]

they have to get along though 😂

[@dragonrider4339]

These abridged shows are comedy gold.. 😂 I said it!! 😂

[@gothicusmaximus5697]

chains were used in that way often to defend harbours and the entrance to rivers A boom or a chain (also boom defence, harbour chain, river chain, chain boom, boom chain or variants) is an obstacle strung across a navigable stretch of water to control or block navigation. In modern times they usually have civil uses, such as to prevent access to a dangerous river channel. But, especially historically, they have been used militarily, with the goal of denying access to an enemy's ships: a modern example is the anti-submarine net. Booms have also been used to force passing vessels to pay a toll.

[@shellyreena2192]

Wow. So across the pond, found a moment Shaun :) with got. Just upon chance found you here.

[@maxmustermann9058]

Balon is actually one of the best kingsguards though. He is a better fighter than Boros or Meryn and even brought first to Tyrion's trial because his word holds weight and integrity.

[@Shamman_komanch]

I think Varys knows both thats why he starts the conversation with Dorne and than moves on to Littllefinger.

[@JoshuaKevinPerry]

Boom Towers or chain towers have explicit military uses, good on Tyrion for getting one thing right this chapter.

[@nononono3421]

During the sack of KL by Dany's troops later in the story, Victarion will make his way to Cersei in the Red Keep and try to choke her to death to get his revenge on Euron (who will have teamed up with her and expects a child from her, "an heir worthy of the Iron Throne" as he said). Jaime arrives (who by now is over the whole "redemption" thing as he sees people fight again after her just helped save the world from the grumpkins) and fights Victarion, killing him. Cersei has a miscarriage ("choke the life out of you" was that, not her death). They filmed a miscarriage during S7 and never used it. Cersei and Jaime flee through secret passages, but eventually end up lost and stumble on Aerys' wildfire cache. They decide to die together and blow everything up. The Iron Throne and the Red Keep cease to exist. The show was not as far off as people hope.

[@chipsandip]

Loving these!!

[@btarczy5067]

Empathy is a tricky thing. That‘s why we need a bunch of stuffy academic types to come up with whacky ideas like human rights. And to defend Tyrion‘s reputation as a good character for a bit - in the society he lives in it is very much the norm for nobles to look at peasants as nothing more than useful kettle and even more so in his family specifically. When this underlying disdain is tested, Tyrion does feel empathy and overcomes his upbringing, if only for the benefit of those he made a connection with. From a modern perspective obviously he is not a „good“ character. With all the penned up rage and bitterness that shines through in almost all his chapters I‘d say... He could be much worse. At least he has a conscience. Also he slapped Joffrey on several occasions which is... For an act of violence against a minor... a good-bloke move.

[@PabbyPabbles]

I'm thinking, maybe if news of the zombies have gotten to Joffrey he might have charged towards the Wall to be a hero. His sociopathy makes him horrible in a court setting, but "Ice zombies are coming!" is a simple situation that a kid who wants to appear manly would understand in a simple way

[@louiscassis3426]

When life gives Baelish lemons, he turns a profit on them. 😂

[@QueenDaenerysTargaryen]

My reign is just begun 💥🔥🐉🐲🐉🔥💥

[@catmarie4771]

Thanks alt

[@AlbertAlbertB.]

36:43 A taught I had while listening: It is also very possible that he only cares for his fellow nobles, as lords and ladies did in these times and therefore wanted to help Sansa but didn't care about raped and killed peasants, because those are not 'as important'. Edit: By the way, George Martin has said in an interview that he believes that a class system is essential to make it historically more accurate. Hence the way nobles act to peasants, who were lower in class, and were, therefore, less worthy than nobles were. With that in mind, in those times, rape was almost accepted in war. It was a price. Tyrion thinking that, is the same as people (IRL) in the 18th century found slavery a great and lucrative part of life.

[@deffientllynotjalenbutler1736]

Some quality scheming here

[@Fnidner]

Who still listens to this banger in 2023?

[@Shamman_komanch]

Yeah it is a bit much but Tyrion is mostly right in saying that's just war. Raping burning and pillaging was fairly standard in the middle ages.

[@aushbegosh3032]

Sea chains are a really good way to stop ships

[@margaritaquiroga8712]

When is the video on Tywin's parenthood coming?

[@SimCentralYT]

The Byzantines used to chain across the harbor to prevent invaders so yes a chain would be viable

[@faisalkamal4319]

Tywin is evil and competent

[@evancarlson5805]

I agree that Tyrion did care that Joffrey was hurting Sansa. If he only cared about the political side, he would have consummated his marriage with Sansa.

[@faisalkamal4319]

Tbf Tyrion can't do anything to stop tywin from burning the Riverlands

[@ErbBetaPatched]

The shows version of Tyrion talking to Pycelle and Little Finger and Varys is far worse. Varys should have broken out in a laughing fit after Tyrion said he was going to marry Myrcella to Theon. If Varys was working for Cersei he wouldn't bother telling her that because its so ridiculous no one would believe him.

[@faisalkamal4319]

We can say Bobby b has biggest sword

[@faisalkamal4319]

We need tangents

[@andrxsinho5626]

Why does Tyrion arrest Pycelle but not Littlefinger? 🤨

[@williamcross6922]

Plot

[@altxogershavelayers5166]

As if it matters when the wall falls

[@miketrujillo3677]

Because littlefinger is acutie

[@bobbywidelec3052]

Nice

[@notribadsvault]

I think you’re a bit harsh to Tyrion in a lot of respects, and also attributing to many events to him unfairly like the iron bank debt, the riots, and the famine. And when Tyrion tells that dude that what happened to his land was “war” he’s telling him this because there’s literally nothing he can do, it was literally ordered by Tywin and he can’t contradict it. I really think Tyrion is often blasé as a shield against the darker reality of events. in Stark (haha) contrast to Ned who tried and failed to do something about the exact same situation.

[@nightsage217]

It's always getting philosophical when we talk about good/bad right? If an individual isn't helpful and constantly making troubles in a community, he/she is labeled 'bad', but it could be spectrum of reason why would that individual be negative input to a community. That individual is a part of the community's feedback loop in the 1st place, why isnt he/she being in sync of it? It isn't helpful either to claim being good means "being useful" to community, it can be quite psychopathic thinking like little finger. It's even more complicated when value such as "self sacrifice" put into the frame, is self sacrifice suppose to be highest standard to be "kind" to others when this individual would be in a lot of pain? That's not very kind when people start to prioritize ideology over human actual life. An act of kindness without reward is reward by itself? Then what's the point if the feedback loop is such low return rate called "society". Or it's just rational to think that humans are so small in its own scale of population & we should just focus on smaller social circle? Then, we just pull in problematic terms like "tribalism", "echo chamber", "nationalism". Or being kind has a arbitrary check list going on and changed based on the society and time? Or being good/bad is purely on the individual's intention at all. If it is, heaven is filled with people who has the best intention, probably failed a lot too.

[@uponthepotato2532]

I disagree with your assessment of tyrion I think he is honestly very reasonable throughout the story even in dance he is very depressed and emotionally damaged but not really evil just flippant and cold because he lives in a cold world he is a product of his environment and surprisingly compassionate

[@uponthepotato2532]

@F.B.I yes but he often describes himself quite selfdepricatingly if u look at the facts of his interaction dialogue which I hope he has not thwarted in his head then I think he Is surprisingly reasonable and i think Jon's friendship with him shows

[@matguerra333]

This is some Schwift shit. Time for a new one tho

[@JoshuaKevinPerry]

live section has 20 more eps up

[@roba3438]

Honey dew.

[@TywinLannister666]

Damn that embarassment!

[@btarczy5067]

Not to backseat leading a kingdom here... But. A lot of this shitshow could have been averted if you had treated your kids a little better. Give them a treat. A pat on the head. The good old You-go-girl! Some things CAN be explained by poor parenting and this is indeed embarrassing. You don’t want your kids shooting you in the guts with a crossbow not to get too specific! This is a comment from the past, by the way. I actually meant to write when I first saw the man himself in this comment section ten months ago but then BOOM, ten months into the future I go. Then I figured... Fuck it, why not? And hit send. Strange how these things ho sometimes.

[@hez859]

Eh I think your hate for the GOT show makes you outright misremember things. Bronn in the show was also planning on killing Lady Tanda. They allude to it like twice

[@nuggetpiece]

Tyrion worrying about "owning" the council and not getting anything done sounds very familiar to republicans always trying to "own the libs".

[@osirisgem]

So lets make out.

[@faisalkamal4319]

Bron's gay