Autistic Shutdowns - How To Recognise & Stop Them

What are autistic shutdowns, what do autism meltdowns feel like, what causes shutdowns and how do you stop them?
Today, I'll be giving you my experience with shutdowns in the hopes that shutdowns won't catch you by surprise and you'll have more sympathy towards yourself. It's also important for non-autistic people to understand what they are and why they happen.
Raising the level of awareness of this problem will help autistic people better deal with this stressful situation and teach their friends and partners not to take it too personally!
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[@Loner_autism]

In a shutdown right now.. text messages, phone calls all unanswered. Been in my room for two days. Haven’t eaten anything, I just can’t. I’m starting to think about food now- so hopefully I’m coming out of it.

[@rogerfarrow8650]

All I can do during a shutdown is say‘I’m fine’ and try and block everything not right out. And people asking me if I’m ok makes it worse because I need everything to be fine and for me to not seem odd… probably biggest signs!

[@amandaandrews2687]

I always run to the bathroom for my shutdowns/meltdowns as well! Since I was a kid to this very day, even when I am at home alone.

[@Zlader.]

I'm glad I'm not the only one!

[@soniczforever5470]

I do too

[@simikatra3434]

I often go non verbal during shutdowns, but the build up my speech and balance go, shutdowns often occur after meltdowns for me, or a volatile situation, I'm easily triggered by those around me. Great video Thomas, thank you.

[@ThomasHenley]

Yessss mutism is a big component of shutdowns! I usually feel very exhausted after meltdowns but I’d say I’m more spaced out than anything. Volatile situations are a big part of why I have shutdowns, it’s very difficult sometimes... No problems, thank you for sharing your experiences as well 🤩

[@turtleanton6539]

​@@ThomasHenley yeeeeeeeeeees😊😊😊😊

[@jayquillberry4972]

It's fitting that this came out on my birthday and I recently experienced my 1st shutdown. It was so scary! I didn't know what was happening. I couldn't move or speak. My mom tried talking to me and I wanted to answer her, but I couldn't even look at her. It really freaked her out too. It lasted for about an hour.

[@srldwg]

What age are you?

[@jayquillberry4972]

@@srldwg 25

[@jilenejensen1539]

I felt like I was on the edge of a shut down during my oceanography lab yesterday. There was too much going on with music playing in the background which did not help plus having my lab partner get extremely frustrated with me when I asked what to get or do multiple times, and being able to feel her emotions, but not really understanding why. I didn’t have the shut down until I got home.

[@CentauriAB]

I recently lost my job. I've been brooding really bad. Haven't been able to sleep well. At least during the day if I stay busy. I don't have time to brood. I dread getting into bed because my mind just starts going over what happened. What did I do wrong, what did I say, what didn't I catch onto. Did I misread a situation. Not just about my job to. I brood about relationships, and how to maintain them. I always feel like I have to force myself to be someone I'm not, to meet others expectations. Which all caused me to meltdown/shutdown. If it wasn't for my very understanding and loving partner. I don't know where I would be.

[@dannyd0g]

This is the most relatable description of the debilitating shutdown experience that I have found. As a very late in life diagnosee at 51 years old, the last 12 months or so has certainly been a learning curve for me, since the penny finally dropped for me, and I have entered an obsessive period of research, discovery and fact finding. It's good to finally know what these horrible shutdown experiences actually are. I have previously endured some 30 years of them without having any idea what was actually happening! That was not good to say the least. Turns out I'm not "brain dead" or "not all there" as mean people have commented when I go through this, it's just my brain disassociating. My number one trigger for these states is when stress or anxiety becomes too much. When I have them they are quite severe, my mood falls off a cliff and I can't communicate. the whole day is a write off. I will be fine the next day though. Apart from having to face the embarrassment of the previous day if a shutdown happened at work! Knowledge is power for sure. Please keep your great content going. Yourself and Adult With Autism have definitely become my favourite, most relateable, useful, helpful, pragmatic and practical channels. Great content and delivered in an engaging and sometimes funny way, which is no mean feat with this subject matter!! I had better stop now. I wanted to balance out the one or 2 critical comments I may have made on some of your other videos. Which really would not be a fair reflection of your content and how I have reacted to it on the whole. Thank you for doing this man.

[@lionessloves6464]

Oh my. Thank you so much. I'm not diagnosed but i believe im on the spectrum. Ive never heard this put into words before and I relate to everything you said. My mind is blown!! The part about someone unexpectedly presenting some information or a situation about themselves - and if you haven't had some time to think about it beforehand it becomes very hard to speak or stay present while they are sharing with you, WOW - so on point for me. Thank you so much

[@srldwg]

Or being in a group of people and feeling that you are "too quiet" (when you either have nothing to add to the conversation, your just taking it in, or are too overstimulated by all the talking, or you are too overstimulated by the talking - which is just noise eventually noise, you can even hear words- and you put pressure on yourself and feel "broken" for not talking.) Then you go into a shutdown and not only are you "too quiet" but are completely disconnected. Then you avoid or panic about group situations. Selective mutism comes into play for me as well. All of the not being able to speak (being "too quiet") make you feel more and more broken over time (for me 46 years before knowing all of these facts connected to my autism - which made me finally not feel "broken". Shutdowns are especially difficult and more likely to happen in larger group situations.

[@pamtufnell6751]

Definitely too much social interaction

[@charimonfanboy]

Do you ever get shutdowns where your vision gets a bit black and white and fuzzy like tv static and your hearing gets a little muted kind of like you are trying to listen to stuff through a wall. With an option on your body refusing to move and you don't feel like you are really you, like you are just sitting in your head seeing/hearing/feeling through your eyes, ears and body but not really attached to it?

[@ThomasHenley]

I think that sounds more like dissociation to me! That happens more when your mind tries to escape from pain, you disconnect from life.. whereas shutdowns have more of an aspect of wanting to talk, but you can’t and there is more of an element of stress. They are very similar though and I’ve spent a lot of time trying to find the differences haha Maybe I might do a video comparing meltdowns, shutdowns and dissociation... what do you think? 😊

[@charimonfanboy]

@@ThomasHenley Fair enough, I've always thought they were the same thing because the triggers and experiences are pretty much the same, just more intense when I whiteout.

[@princesszeldaprincess447]

I get shutdowns when I'm in a social setting with people I don't know

[@RoamWrite]

When you get older, if you marry a neurotypical person have kids, jobs, bills to pay, holidays to organise parenting juggling relationships and the needs of everyone with those of yourself meltdowns and shutdowns have to be managed whether you like it or not Sad, but true

[@turtleanton6539]

Faxx 😊😊

[@srldwg]

But also validated

[@malia4284]

I think I had a shutdown. Today because my relative want to have a serious conversation about another family illness & how I have live with it when they are gone if I did not call everyday or visit a few times a wk. It was after I had a problem having doing gig work with one of the apps and tired. That person wanted an answer from me I could not answer, just close up when buttons get pushed

[@sbsman4998]

A very very tiny muscle in the inner ear called Tensor Tympany, connects from cartilage directly to ear drum. Its purpose is to tension drum dampening incoming dangerous loud sounds, feeling like an abrupt change in altitude or water in ear. Situations like long talking, constant small stresses can mute my hearing by half, with deep breathing/stop talking resolving condition easily ~~

[@ThomasHenley]

That’s incredibly interesting, I will remember that fact... now that I think about it, I used to play loud heavy metal in my ear as a child, it was probably to dampen the outside world 😂 Thanks for your comment, great to take in some more knowledge!

[@sbsman4998]

Another little known fact, ear drum is unique because it includes all three original embryonic cell layers: endoderm, mesoderm, ectoderm which later differentiate into adult gut/enteric ~~ muscle/connective tissue ~~ skin/nervous system respectively. The cornea of eye is only other area.

[@Leopardv8448]

Interesting

[@LunarFrequenciesHD]

Thanks so much, for putting this into words.

[@rogerunderhill4267]

really appreciate the content and video-editing. very clever and subtle at times. I am self diagnosing and currently fending off a shutdown. Excellent work.

[@Casper-jx1zd]

Blessings to you for your videos. Your videos are helping me understand my niece and also myself a lot more.

[@CB19087]

I was on an occupational therapy placement and had a communication breakdown with my mentor. I completely shut down. Couldn't speak. I was judged very harshly and some people in the team never spoke to me the same after. I did not know i was autistic and did not realise that other people experienced shutdowns or meltdowns. My whole life I've been judged as angry and rude. I feel extremely depressed at the moment. But i I think it's grief and a sense of relief. Hoping to join an autistic social community next week. I hope that i find people who understand me. It has been a very lonely 40 years ❤

[@sisifa.cansada]

I’m feeling an insect mesmerized by the light reflected in the frame

[@cyennaruby7150]

My new favourite channel

[@ThomasHenley]

I’m honoured, thank you for coming to my little space on KZbin 💙

[@ogs1mpson609]

I’m currently in shutdown mode at work. It’s jarring for my coworkers because I’m usually a very outgoing person. My manager knows that I am autistic but the majority of my coworkers don’t know, they just think I’m weird.

[@srldwg]

Also dissociating and depersonalization can happen at work with us as well.

[@pyroslove2519]

I haven't had too many shutdowns throughout my life (I've had 23 but I'm 17) but each and every time it was because of extremely high stress for about 10 minutes the first thing that happens is I start to lose my speech and from there I lose my control of what I'm doing and the last one is the hardest for me to cope with I usually fall to the floor, cover my eyes and cry and no matter how hard I try I can't even talk it just comes out mumbled German

[@turtleanton6539]

Wow i had thwm everyday or every other day

[@herkcollins4263]

What, if anything, can be done to help someone come out of a shutdown or fight it off? I know how to handle a meltdown thanks to my boyfriend, but a shutdown has never come up. Maybe he's never experienced it or didn't want to scare me. After all, we've only been together for six months. I know he tells me I make his life better and easier to handle, he makes my life better just by being himself. We both have benefitted from our love.

[@ThomasHenley]

Hi Teddey! Shutdowns are usually a bit of defence mechanism to prevent a meltdown, they are nothing to worry about though despite the non-verbal aspects and dissociation. As long as you’re patient, don’t apply pressure for a response and let them chill out for an hour or so it should stop soon! 😊😊

[@herkcollins4263]

@@ThomasHenley Thank you so much.

[@justsomerandominternetuser6379]

Hello, Aspergers female here. In my personal experiences with both shut downs and meltdowns, just getting to a quiet place, having physical needs (food, drink, sleep) met, not touching me, fidgets (including chewables), music or hearing protection, sunglasses or a hat, less or no people around and having a strict routine have helped me in meltdowns or shut downs. Give him time to recover after either sensory/stress overload response. Unfortunately you can’t always prevent a meltdown or shut down, but these are options. I hope I helped!

[@DanniBby]

What is the way to handle a meltdown that he taught you?

[@nononeofit3610]

I swear I saw this guy at the Co-op....

[@ThomasHenley]

Which Co-Op 👀?

[@nononeofit3610]

@@ThomasHenley Dunno, but I swear I saw you. I'm not helping am I.

[@ThomasHenley]

@@nononeofit3610 😂😂😂

[@sbsman4998]

Meltdowns are much better, at least acting out tensions, shutdowns are another matter, usually in inescapable situations like trapped socially. Spooky ass events, out of body/control yet the odd thing I can sense everyone in the room like they have shutdown too, silent participants, truly terrifying! So, prefer being obnoxious extroverted controversial in groups, something I'm actually good at, but being silent/distant is invitation to shutdown big time ~~

[@ThomasHenley]

Haha well I think the only problem with meltdowns is it makes me feel like I’ve been nuisance and get very a day of depression and low self esteem Shutdowns give me chance to recover, but yes I would prefer a meltdown rather than hours of not being able to speak or interact 😂

[@srldwg]

Well, we can't control when we shutdown. So being loud and obnoxious can also cause a shutdown. Overstimulation can result here, because we shouldn't have to talk at all. We don't always choose silence, it can be our default and we should be allowed to be ok with that. Talking to feel like we fit in can be more draining, if it is forced and talking is not happening organically. We aren't purposely being silent and distant, this isn't a reason to a shutdown. External stimuli and overstimulation is the path to a shutdown. Coping strategies are the path to preventing shutdowns (when it is possible) including being gentle on ourselves for not talking/contributing to the conversation. Recognizing when we are getting overstimulated and going to a quiet space to regulate. There are a few strategies that can be effective. They can't always be prevented, but giving ourselves care and understanding of our needs during a shutdown, and not beating ourselves up afterwards is helpful🙂

[@lauraj8913]

Hahaha you are so funny :)