Chasing Your Biggest Dreams (with Hina)

[@PRDVP]

28 years old, never been in a relationship before. Cut to 29 almost getting married with my partner of 11 months now. In the beginning she was scared of me not getting enough emotional baggage to know what I want in a relationship and project everything onto her, however we are able to communicate a lot and she often says how smooth we are compared to her previous relationships. Tbh I don't think relationships are the only way to know own self and reflect...how you interact with close friendships, your family, coworkers and your progress with therapy are also some ways. Having to wait for a relationship to fall apart to look inside yourself is honestly a waste of time for everyone involved.

[@uscitizen3252]

Thanks for saying this. I'm 37 so I have a lot of life experience, but haven't been in a relationship with a woman yet (just hasn't panned out, but trying) so my heart sank when the guest said "ghost." But I completely understand that some women will not be into it and I'm excited to find those who are open to giving lesser experienced but emotionally available/mature women a chance. :)

[@henriikka9578]

What I've realized is that most people succumb to our culture's obsession with romantic love and rush into ultimately unhealthy relationships. Later in life you hear serial monogamists with 4 committed relationships under their belt talking about how this new relationship is the first healthy & happy one they've experienced. My goal was always to become so self aware & confident that I wouldn't project my own issues onto other people. Over years of being single I would often wonder, can you even know yourself if you were always tethered to someone else? I wish we could stop shaming single people and rather praise them for not dumping their baggage onto other people on the path to self love.

[@barnaliadhikary9421]

​@@uscitizen3252 Myself 34..a lesbian with almost no experience of relationship with anyone....can relate to you ....all the best

[@NordicFireDKK]

Getting married after knowing someone for 11 months is wild xD

[@savingJobutupaki]

I agree with ya!

[@bbend8667]

ah ur such a good interviewer! you give them space to talk and it feels so natural and safe between you and your guests!

[@Koerfy]

Hina is right. You are carrying the queer community, one podcast at a time. I can't express how much I learn every time I listen to an episode. And today, I only have gratitude. I needed to hear these words of wisdom.

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

🫶🏼🫶🏼

[@Sakyosa]

I so appreciate what Hina is saying about our “favorite” version of ourselves. I feel like it shifts the cognitive focus from viewing ourselves from an objective outsiders’ view of what we think our “best self”should be, to instead focus on our personal feelings when we are living our “favorite self”. When you’re actually in tune with yourself and listening to what you want, you’re so much more likely to love yourself and be happy.

[@Samiya23]

Really enjoyed this episode!! I've binge watched most, don't know why there aren't way more views! This podcast is amazing

[@whatnot6647]

So true. Society needs to start normalizing the world lesbian. It is normal as hell, should not be used as a curse word.

[@Sakyosa]

Mal, I can’t tell you how much I love this podcast. I just found it yesterday and have been watching nothing but. Every single episode, and I mean EVERY one of you girls has me laughing, feeling, and resonating so much. It’s so incredibly refreshing to hear such introspective conversations. I feel so seen. ❤❤❤

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

this makes me SO happy 🥹 thank you so much for listening and for being part of the MIO community 🫶🏼

[@sunny789521]

I just wanted to say Mal you’re such an amazing podcast host and always are curating amazing conversations with each guest you have!!

[@elissajo3671]

God this is amazing. How do you have so many lovely people around you Mal. Fantastic conversation & questions.

[@court_stylist]

Hina described my last relationship with a man so perfectly, knowing that I would never date another man, but that coming out would be such a major obstacle in my life that I didn’t feel adequately prepared for.

[@Catie-g9n]

Hina, I'm Catie. Keep dreaming big. I know you are going to inspire so many more queer people by you just being you. I also can't dance...your voice....is the best podcast voice everrr and your real genuine personality comes through in this episode big!

[@adelle468]

Your guest's intelligence, sense of humor and sensitivity across the board is just so impressive !

[@savingJobutupaki]

Kinda sad to hear lesbians don’t want to date girls with no previous same sex relationship. We all got to start somewhere. I’m sure you guys were once there too. I’ve had over 30 relationships with guys for me to realize I’m a lesbian. With the ladies, it has been just late night drunken parties and kissing my friends, which I can blame it on the alcohol when I’m sober. I’ve just come out recently and I’m eager to learn and experience everything I missed out. Just wanna share my piece of thought.

[@kylorenthehusky2584]

Everyone does have to start somewhere, that is true. I’ve seen both sides. Women who have been hurt by used-to-be straight girls who are not sure and sometimes go back to guys and sometimes say hurtful things re being with men vs being with women. And then there are lesbians who enjoy “turning” used-to-be straight girls, which feels more about ego and internalized homophobia plus a dash of misogyny, to me. But I digress. It’s all about the maturity of person A. Are they patient and strong enough to ride the ups and downs of someone’s coming out phase (telling parents, friends and coworkers)? Or have they reached a point where they know what they want and only want to be with someone who’s been out for a while and is comfortable with themselves. Making out with women when intoxicated is very different than moving in together and spending holidays around the family table together, perhaps even having children, being different, attending pride, changing perspectives politically, spiritually, etc. It’s that transition period. So many emotions with very little in the way of guidance other than lesbian movies which are 67% sad endings. Podcasts like these are great but looking your mother and father in the eyes and proudly saying, “I’m marrying a woman” is not easy for many. According to a quick Google search the IRS reported 60M straight couples married and lesbian and gay married couples, ready for it? 500k. We should take over a small town and turn it into a gaycropolis 😆 Anyway, be yourself, comfortable in your own skin. Women will gravitate towards you. I have heard from friends that hitting on women is the hardest part when you’re not masc or femme but something in between. Best of luck to you ❤ Val from NorCal

[@savingJobutupaki]

Yeah, I'm in the beginning phase. Just came out to my friends and parents. All this is very new to me. In retrospect , there were so many clues along the way, I just didn't figure it out until the last two years. But in the end, like you said, just be comfortable in your own skin and go with the flow. @@kylorenthehusky2584

[@arrinskid.4595]

@@kylorenthehusky2584is there a statistic that compares the ratio of married and single gays and straights? i think without taking population into account, the statistic you provided seems a bit weak because obviously theres more straight people than gay

[@Liv4SummerWind]

Omg I love her energy so much

[@GabriellaBordo]

Why is everyone on this amazing podcast so attractive? Do I need to move to LA?

[@barnaliadhikary9421]

😊😊You spoke my mind out....

[@moovieday]

sooo when are we hearing Mal sing?!

[@zanellenokuphila4640]

I just started watching your podcast and i enjoy every episode,this would help lot of people who are find themselves to whom they are.Thank you for this show.

[@remmogopalagangwe3582]

I listen to this podcast as like a background sound as I’m going on with my day so I opt for the Apple platform but so often I find your guests so interesting that I come to KZbin because o want to see their faces . I just want you to know that I looooove this space, and you’re doing something right ❤️

[@hiportugal]

Hina is so cool and wise!!

[@elisegray6962]

34 yo here, never been in any serious relationship ever because I lived in 4 different countries (I am where I always wanted to be now... 🇫🇷-🇨🇭-🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿- 🇨🇦) I recently discovered/understood why I was never interested in anything romantic... Because I was only dating men. I am VERY bisexual (recent realization...) and since I realized it, I have never felt so romantic in my life and I am more than ready to meet my wife now, settling down and find love, true love. Being silly together. Never judge a book by its cover, please 💚 we all have stories

[@JennSarracenia]

Curious why you didn’t want to live in Switzerland?

[@BluePatriotWinner]

Mixing paints and becoming a new color.... Love that! Appreciate this video and both you guys!

[@florateagno608]

Almost 29 and I’ve never been in a relationship…. it’s not like I’m choosing to be single but at this point I’m just convinced that maybe my fate is to be by myself

[@Catie-g9n]

Follow your hobbies and do what you love! Single living isn't a bad thing....I'm also single and accepting of this moment

[@livewithintention1625]

I'm 29 and same. But I have decided to go traveling (on an almost 0 budget), pursue pottery (doing it for free at the moment just to learn) and meet as many new people & gain genuine friendships as possible. There are times when I feel sad and almost a sense of grief at not having had the experience that my close friends had in terms of young love, teenage flings and everything that comes with it - but I cannot change the past by dwelling on it, and it only clouds future possibilities. I try to write about the grief of missing 'milestones' and just focus on doing now what I wish I'd done when I was younger. And maybe that'll include falling in (requited) love - maybe not - but at least I'm going out of my comfort zone and spending time in nature and new places while I'm 'alone'.

[@florateagno608]

@@livewithintention1625damn that’s exactly what I’m through right now, me too sometimes I feel like I’ve missed out a lot

[@dpay5644]

I have enjoyed all your episodes, all your guests... But I have to say, this was my favorite one.

[@NE8675309]

Gotta love when podcasts always say shit like it's never too late... and then immediately follow with if you haven't been in a relationship, you're going to get ghosted. We officially reached the human empathy equivalence of 'you need to have experience to get experience' I don't think relationships should always be your main motivation for change; some people are able to be self-aware without involving anybody else in their own messes (oftenbecauseof past trauma). I know so many people who are incapable of being single (jumping from one relationship to another) and have absolutely no desire or sense of self-awareness or growth. On the flip side, I know people who've been single their entire lives, because they're too self-reflective to waste time on insincerity. Imo the biggest red flag is someone that is always in a relationship. People who are afraid to be alone with themselves, are much less likely to take the initiative to grow.

[@m.eberhard5983]

Loved what you said here

[@lubomiratomasova5370]

100% agree!

[@PrettyVicious]

your guest is soooo attractive - i have to go back and listen again to actually hear the conversation i couldnt pay attention. lol

[@Reed5016]

This was probably my favorite episode so far. Hina is so inspiring as a person. I currently want to be a musician, and a lot of people doubt me. But as they said, I have to believe in myself first.

[@Raddiebaddie]

COMPLETELY different scenario and yet soooo many similarities as well. I grew up homeschooled so the part about not understanding references to typical things like SpongeBob, and having NO idea gayness existed just that I didn’t wanna be with a boy, and having to “perform” cool girl like becoming a cheerleader and putting on a show as if I was normal once I started public school… interesting that we have very different situations that ultimately manifested very similarly

[@AniJones-hj1bk]

The Leo energy is SO strong WHOA

[@sarahetrues]

loved this episode & guest - so many insights and such wisdom

[@cameronvansant2108]

Wow!! This was so inspirational

[@Hsalz]

The WISDOM. Great episode.

[@emilypalma5763]

The way I refreshed waiting for this to come out… don’t know what I would do without this representation right now :/ ❤❤

[@PONYWIRE]

as a leo i’m counting how many times hina says they’re a leo lol

[@NiinaSKlove]

- My favorite episode so far ❤

[@Calbizzle]

I love this podcast

[@zami316]

one of my fav episodes.. been following Hina for a while 🤩

[@ZSMUU]

Hina, if you write a book I would definitely read it.

[@Seia894]

I loved this episode so much!!!!

[@Godzillagirl12]

Oh that sims example made me SICK 😭😭 I never thought of it that way omg!!

[@litndexter8127]

Mal looking so gorggg! ♥️

[@winec00ler]

Very thought provoking, thanks guys

[@naturenut7695]

Great podcast. Let me start off by saying I'm a Gemini. Lol. June 8th. So far every podcast I've been able to pull bits and pieces of it out that I really enjoy. Many things that can be applied to your life in general to make it better.

[@stephanielrichardson7796]

Having the children clean, cook and serve their peers is a GREAT lesson to teach. ESPECIALLY with all these "entitled" children who grow up to be entitled adults in America

[@lxckin]

Needed this motivation. Currently in a dead end job, but feeling motivated to move forward.

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

this is your signnnnn💫

[@hiportugal]

yessss!!!!!!!

[@sestoeckl]

OMG the philospphy talk and Kierkegaard rec! Love it!

[@joab94]

So interesting! Loved this episode :) Thanks for creating this podcast, really inspiring! xx

[@portialyons6096]

Mal, I love the people that I've been introduced to because of your podcast!! I love your conversations. You are doing great. Hina, you are a gem. I want your energy lol

[@silkenaria]

❤ each episode builds on the one before. This was another great one. 👍

[@mathildegoncalvespereira2422]

Hina is so dope!

[@silkenaria]

@mathildegoncalvespereira2422 yes, she is. 🫠

[@sulagreen5792]

Why haven't there been more lesbian reality tv shows? I feel like there's been so many that have been rejected and not gotten off the ground.

[@wouldbealex]

I couldn't say "lesbian" until I was in my mid-30s. I think, through this interview, that I understand "they/them" better than before when thinking about the various reasons someone is a "they/them." Particularly when someone comes from a different culture that didn't have the issues with homo-fille or homo-affectionate or or ... I'm so sad for American culture that it is so focused on "normality" when reality is so different and "normal" or "same" is so oppressive. I am deeply sad about my country sometimes.

[@KayBassie]

"We're all doing this for our future wives right?!" 😂😂😂 True my future will will be so impressed with what I have to offer. So working on myself until I meet her.😊

[@eloisejn9200]

So relatable

[@terrydillon9323]

Very interesting program, thanks ladies.

[@nataliesteiner]

We all want to hear you sing Mal!

[@Queen.Ashanti]

This is one beautiful interview. 🌈💖 So many beautifully said analogies & insight !

[@RiverWolf9]

This is so motivating, thank you!

[@ninewojcik9669]

I love this episode! Thank you so so much

[@laurenstrasser]

I now heart Hina. Holy shit. The wisdom.

[@aburger1557]

Thank you so much 🥹😭🥰❤

[@KayBassie]

I love the Fate vs Freewill state. I see the breakdown and I couldnt agree more. And Mal talking about basically doing the small steps. I needed to hear that. When you think your ideas are too grand for you to achieve, that limits you. Just take the steps towards it. I'm gonna always praise this podcast, because not since I watched The Beaver Bunch here on KZbin years ago I havent seen real honest conversations with the lesb!an/queer community. Again Thank You Mal and company🫡

[@brucefaith]

The goals and dreams are amazing

[@alexnichter8528]

This is making me want to make then jump, move to LA, and make my dream come true

[@angiexx21]

Hina is an amazing guest wow, this was my favorite episode ✨

[@hiportugal]

Hina is so dope!!

[@The-Labbed-Life]

That’s super cooool! My favorite episode so far, I’m very similar to Hina and I’ve seen myself a lot in what she said. Always doing something and dreaming of doing so many things haha, I love it. Thanks for the great guest! PS: Adding a new one to my list today: In the future, be a guest on your podcast. Who knows? 🤣😌

[@ROCKONplaceboforever]

Amazing episode as always ❤️ 🌈

[@UrsaKyma]

Love your podcast 💙 Girls.. be honest with yourself., allways... it is your life. I am 38 and my mother never was and never will except me as a lesbian. I move when i was 20., i was never with a men., i have good male friends., but i do not feel the conection with them. I was allways true to myself. I except my mother ot excepting me., because it was the only way. Sou can not change others. You can make changes for yourself. Anyway... life is to short to live the way you "are told to"... and wait for the right moment... make the right moments with the right people 💙 Good luck wirh your podcast., it is really awesome 👌🏽

[@JulesLern]

Such a great episode 🔥🔥🔥

[@marinarodriguez2281]

OMG, I NEED TO KNOW WHERE TO BUY THAT CUP!!

[@insainbassist]

I need to know where you got those mugs 👀

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

our place!!

[@ilianaconilatina]

I just enjoyed this episode so much jajajajaja. Hi from Panamá

[@keziahk4372]

Gemini and Leo 🤌 Hina 😻😻😻

[@whatnot6647]

So interesting!!

[@ArtichokeHunter]

gee good to know that if you haven't been in a relationship, no one will give you a chance to change that. of course you're gonna go to therapy if you're in your 30s and haven't been in a relationship (if you want to change that)! and of course you have to cook, you've been living alone your whole life and you need to eat! the reasoning here is ridiculously misinformed honestly i thought the queer community would be where people understand that people figure different things out at different ages and can appreciate the complexity of that. but this is hopefully not a representative sample.

[@NotAnotherKuromi]

I am pretty sure they meant "need to cook" as in the slang that means time to develop, not literally cooking food. I think these 2 people struggle with a lack of self awareness so have relied on a partner, or relationship ending, to realize there is something wrong, or replied on those external catalysts to be able to identify a flaw they need to work on. I don't think this is a healthy approach and I would hope when they are older and wiser they will realize that you can learn so much from so many different facets of life and create self improvement from so many different things and people, not just your romantic partner.

[@iamzulfiyamusic]

This has been so inspirational to watch. Thank you so much for this 🤍

[@alexnichter8528]

I’d love to come save Hina😅😅

[@savingJobutupaki]

I love Hina! ❤❤❤

[@edwenabayan5963]

Omg sooooo goood. Such a good talk 🥺🤍

[@zeoneous]

Kierkegaard, for sure. 😊

[@adelle468]

Mel, you are stunning ! Greetings from South Africa 🙋🏻‍♀️🥂👌🏼

[@eloisejn9200]

little heads up in the credits you wrote 'podcasat' hihi

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

omg awk but thank you for paying such close attention!!

[@barnaliadhikary9421]

Mal is so damn beautiful ❤️❤️❤️...my lesbian crush 🥺🥺♀️♀️

[@kwcnasa]

Resume @36:00

[@anareginacoronado1147]

Love you!

[@barnaliadhikary9421]

Lesbians are badass 👏🏻👏🏻

[@Andrea-bj9hr]

THOSE MUGS!

[@isabelluh6450]

they remind me so much of grimes for some reason

[@barnaliadhikary9421]

Mal....what makes you so damn beautiful? What do you drink? Nectars only☺️☺️.. and your laughter is so contagious.... You are my lesbian crush now🌈👭♀️♀️... Stay happy always 🤗

[@rachelwerth2441]

People who pitied her and her "lofty" dreams are people who didn't and don't believe in themselves.

[@danielamagg6889]

💜💙💚🌺💛🧡❤💋

[@chack4845]

I'm late today 😲. #Mathildenexttime

[@hiportugal]

i love you 😌😌😌😌

[@chack4845]

@@hiportugal guess what? I love you more 😀

[@ajbaby93]

Hina is saying Leo but I'm getting scorpio vibes off her

[@IAMAJNAMUSIC]

I wish we could get sun moon rising next to name and pronouns haha. I’m so curious

[@edwenabayan5963]

Omg sooooo goood. Such a good talk 🥺🤍