How to actually know who you are

[@ColeHastings]

If you wanna meet like-minded people on self improvement and get access to free resources, join my free community: bit.ly/48SwuDN

[@Bigwiener97]

Do you think you can do a video on how to live in the now. I struggle with anxiety and I’m always worried about the future. Just thought it would be good to see a video about and make me change my way of thinking

[@ColeHastings]

@@Bigwiener97 watch my video "Your constant overthinking ends with this video"

[@ColeHastings]

@@nickwallenda768 AdrianaGhost

[@DevelopmentPill2002]

I often speak about the importance of journaling. I genuinely think it should be a practice everyone does daily

[@jamieconnor3505]

Damn right

[@ColeHastings]

Changed my life

[@ItsAryax]

Even though i don't do it now bec of exams It's a Life changing habit

[@cosmo588]

Weekly I recommend. Some people hate writing, but everyone can write a paragraph a week about how their feeling and what’s going on in life.

[@Babyyxxmarie]

My problems is I never know what to write about how do you come up with stuff to write about you just look up topics?

[@EdgarDiazSpeaks]

14:23 is SO real… It’s crazy how we’re basically spoon fed somebody else’s definition of success and then hold ourselves to the same standard. I actually touched on this in a video recently and it’s been my best performer to date! But that’s exactly why I started being super selective about who I take advice from and what content I consume… Your laidback and thoughtful approach is one of my favorites! As always, great video, Cole!

[@ColeHastings]

Thanks for being active in the community Edgar

[@ColeHastings]

@@nickwallenda768 AdrianaGhost

[@DoofenSpyroDragon16]

Lots of people need to pause instead of just ranting angrily for no reason just because one small thing set them off. Agreed greatly. Great video. 👍

[@ColeHastings]

💯 thank you

[@DoofenSpyroDragon16]

@@ColeHastings I also see you can’t decide on a title lol 😆 I swear it changed 5 times 😆

[@ColeHastings]

might change it 12 more@@DoofenSpyroDragon16

[@DoofenSpyroDragon16]

@@ColeHastings lol 😁

[@carlosandresmirandafabila9951]

Dr. K and Cole made a huge impact in my understanding of myself, the world and life. I'll always be grateful for it

[@ColeHastings]

Honored to be mentioned with Dr K

[@LOAisMagic]

In Dr. Ks coaching program. And I’ll be damned that Cole just nailed a theme we’ve been discussing about relationships and how sometimes we get defensive of other’s feedback. I now plan on telling my friends when I feel triggered by their comments. Love this. Thanks!

[@gibs40]

Self-awareness comes importantly in play when people are facing issues in their lives, whether they are relationship related or financial or etc... The standard response to a problem is to numb the feelings of anger, sadness, frustration and anxiety through short-term solutions (instant gratification/ relief) instead of consecrating a part of the day to really reflect on the agents of the problem and the problem as a whole. This is extremely important as people usually don't really understand the problem, but pausing for a while as you said, and thinking thoroughly about the different angles of the problem, makes realizd that there is something they're missing and didn't come to their intuition, and this right here helps them navigate through the problem and get more clarity and calmness inside of them

[@_sukurima_]

The three pillars of understanding myself better always were meditation, journaling and *absence* of music. Music just doesn't let me think, and if you don't think, you can't learn who you are.

[@dev_esh01]

Stage 3 is so true. One of the best months of my life were when I was meditating everyday for 20 minutes. It was so peaceful, like in a way i can't explain why i felt so peaceful and grounded

[@456456459]

His step two is more or less a TICES log. Meaning trigger, image (mental), cognition (thought), emotion, sensation (tight chest or ect.). It helps if your dealing with anger issues. You can see what the issue was and how your body responds.

[@kingbrad4863]

I just seen this but have just realized over the past few days that I don't even know who I am. I don't know what it means to be me or what my natural state looks like. Once again Cole you are on your mission. I really do believe there's an energetic link between us. You might not be getting many views lately but that's because of the way things are nowadays. Nobody wants to learn how to solve their problems... So if you think about it, you are creating the right content for the select few, rather than just filling the void of many. Please dont sell out, we appreciate you!

[@thiscosine5332]

Learning to harness the pause is a difficult but *super* useful skill! If I can catch a stressful stimulus before reacting to it, it’s much easier to prevent it from snowballing and ruining my day.

[@UnknownMFe]

This is why I should pick up skills now while I'm a teenager and can change my life easily. I have to learn how to live so that life will be easy.

[@Babyyxxmarie]

Best skill you can learn is to go up to people and talk to them, charisma, be nice and interested in everyone! I struggle with this so much and it makes life so much harder I have no clue how to talk to people but I’ve been doing my own form of exposure therapy and am trying to get better!

[@sorrowtooth5494]

I remember watching you in 2019 when you had about 5k subs… look at how far you’ve come bro ❤

[@aadiichadlife]

I can't beleive how much efforts he is putting but he's still underrated

[@Tsmooth313]

That's all I been saying lately. You have to love learning to think, put them words together, and grind! ❤

[@adamhendy9227]

We need more "How to live life" videos these days, thank you!

[@paulfeldman8771]

Fantastic video Cole! This is one of your best in a while. Everything you said is completely applicable and relevant! The pause is such a narrow window of time, but locating it and acting accordingly really is a skill onto itself, so thank you for sharing this!

[@ColeHastings]

Thanks for watching man!

[@paulfeldman8771]

@@ColeHastings any time man!

[@shredmaster2009]

Excellent work and valuable advice my friend. Only recently discovered your channel, but it's becoming one of my favorites.

[@dulanariyathilaka8940]

I have app timers on my phone! My phone offers app timers that connect with other apps so if I spend time using a certain group of apps it locks for the entire day. So far it encourages me to change my mindset about how much time I spend on my phone to the point where I use my laptop more, and I only use my laptop for productivity anyway which is a double win!

[@naimfdz]

Wake up, babe... Cole dropped a video. 🗣🗣🗣‼‼‼

[@thuglifeinventor]

Lololol

[@RobertHowe-zv7gs]

All the wisdom we need usually comes to us in or old age.

[@allisfairZG]

This is such an amazing video, as well as the comment section. These are topics that I’ve discussed within therapy that I’m currently paying for. I mention this because these are extremely important topics and concepts that shouldn’t be behind a paywall, and i’m so excited and thankful for someone such as Cole to bring this to light for those who might not have access to therapy, and can begin taking those first steps for themselves.

[@ColeHastings]

Extremely grateful for this comment. I want to provide as much free value as I can

[@GideonChemutai]

I love your channel

[@RobertHowe-zv7gs]

The content of your videos is always so very interesting and helpful !

[@fatenatiah1850]

You're amazing I'm rooting for you ❤

[@0Ciju0]

Thank you for another banger, brother; you are possibly the most relatable dood on KZbin.

[@TheSticks828]

I wish i had a mentor who will work with me on getting my lost, no direction life turned around! Videos are great but i have a hard time learning this way. I have ADD so my attention wanders or i dont retain the information! Its a tough existence!

[@joaotome40]

I think after this I have to re read atomic habits. In the last week I was returning to my older self (their habits) and I felt like I was going back again. After this I got aware of my emotions and after that I think I'm going back on track.

[@nvyz1]

this is an amazing well made and thought out video keep going this is some amazing work!

[@RedC220]

Nice video, much of your presentation could be covered by the word "Mindfulness". Something that I've embraced quite recently, aged 54 after an existential crisis. That you've arrived at this frame of mind at such a young age is wonderful, embrace it, embrace who you are and enjoy the moment.

[@mitchellcohen]

dope overview here Cole! Love the pause breakdown.

[@Flow_Like_Flo]

It's like A video game, choosing a answer that effects the outcome of the storyline.

[@kshitijnaik]

Hey cole, can you please make a video for people suffering with body dysmorphia?

[@abraham9777]

go on . i love your videos

[@UnKnowPerSoN-]

Cole! how are you?

[@ColeHastings]

Not too bad, how about yourself?

[@priyankashivani9781]

These videos are wise and soothing in the chaos ❤.

[@shrey_ofc]

Perfect timing for this video

[@jahongirsultonov1089]

Long waited video. 🎉🎉

[@lunedune4548]

Early! Love your content!

[@RiwazDhakal]

12:00 great editing man !

[@playsntrades]

Cole, it's a good video, I see you are doing some inner work I hope you are hanging in there after the break-up

[@troxexlot18]

This video's many times more enjoyabke if you discovered the steps beforehand

[@lagirl4648]

THis is do helpful Cole! Thank you!❤

[@nolanleedix]

Lesson from video: self awareness is helpful ONLY IF you can change your BEHAVIOR as a result. Change of emotions comes from the changed behavior.

[@masterchiefofhalo4525]

How do I set a video to play every day?

[@THEwed123wet]

Does anybody know which device he is using at 11:20? looks very interesting for journaling

[@ColeHastings]

Might make a whole video on it, but it’s called the super note A6x2 nomad. Incredible device

[@brianw6718]

@7:20 E.T.’s shadow appears on the wall!

[@helios99]

Make a video on meditation journey and how to do it plz. And one on testosterone increase with proofs

[@yungshockyy]

BRO YALL GOTTA COLLAB, I LOVE DOCTOR K LMAO 😂

[@ИапГоревич]

My parents have certain expectations of me. And they pressure me if I don't meet them. Unfortunately, I don't know what to do

[@ColeHastings]

You can start by communicating how those expectations make you feel, and how you’re doing your best

[@ИапГоревич]

@@ColeHastings Thank you very much! I rarely have those "session", but after them I feel somewhat better. Maybe I should make it a regular thing.

[@KirkKercules]

Random, but: quarter pounder w cheese meal always made me feel like garbage after I ate it. Oddly enough, I have no issue after eating a triple cheeseburger with extra cheese, and a large vanilla shake... idk what it is, but they gotta be putting something extra in the quarter pounder patties... MondoBurger 💉 perhaps?

[@palomacantik3039]

He kinda cute😢❤

[@niklwitart]

Big healthy Gamer Fan herre❤

[@thuglifeinventor]

As an Asian I can relate 😢😅😊

[@wesbullins]

do you authentically believe in example 3 (negative thought pattern)?? because I feel like after some contemplation you would not actually align with this step. Making your own beliefs is not usually a good answer and will lead to disaster. This is why religion/tradition is important - humans following their own selfish desires will lead to disaster. In the right context shame and moral structures are important in my opinion, thoughts?

[@ColeHastings]

I don’t think I was arguing against moral structures here. It’s true that societies collapse under hyper individualism, where nobody agrees on anything. But when it comes to you not feeling good enough, or fearing failure, or any other belief that isn’t serving both yourself and others, that’s something you need to change, because it’s inaccurate

[@ColeHastings]

Put more succinctly, a society should follow the same standards of morals, but each individual should have the right to carve out their own path and live freely without abandoning the society’s glue that holds everything together

[@wesbullins]

I like your second point here, a unified societal acceptance of general moral structures that still provides individuals the freedom to create more niche belief systems. Almost like how the Church has different denominations but a larger unified belief in Jesus and the resurrection. Thanks for clarifying. Big fan of your work@@ColeHastings

[@BABVSOULEATER2005]

This isn't a video on how to know who you are, it's a video on how to live mindful without your phone :/

[@ishansingh1640]

sir can you please tell your views on gaming its a really demanding request for me please tell me sir i mean brother can you tell me pleaseee

[@United_Wings]

Wow

[@2Legit2glich]

I loved everything about out this guy til i realized he’s just a salesman

[@saswigoo1069]

Hey man . Are u still learning Japanese ?

[@ColeHastings]

I took a long time off but i have been studying every day for the past month

[@deswill2737]

It is completely untrue that education is meant for obedient workers. This is not at all what we are thought in the teaching bachelors degree. The absolute main goals are for people to have basic understanding of how the world works while helping you find interest in what subjects you want to explore further on your own but also what role you can find in society. There is no teacher who will tell you there is a KZbinr who knows the truth, the point is for you to think for yourself.

[@akashkaul1923]

bro u truly over think damn lol

[@ColeHastings]

All the time

[@itisatruesignofgrace]

Self improvement is worth nothing when you die and get judged for all your crimes against God and get cast into the lake of fire. Since every sin is an crime against God and he is an eternal being, it deserves an eternal punishment. Because God is not only perfectly righteous but also perfectly mercifull He came into this world and sacrificed His only Son to pay for the debt you made with God. God loves us that much!

[@DiggingDeepVlog]

If God was so powerful why doesn’t he make everybody perfect? Eternal damnation for some sins? Doesn’t sound very loving and worth worshipping

[@itisatruesignofgrace]

@@DiggingDeepVlog and before you say anything I have most likely told more lies then you, stole more than you and I am a sinner like you would not believe. I am deserving of hell bro. But luckily by the grace of Jesus I do not have to go there. I love you so much please think about Jesus when you are on a low point in your life or when you do not see any other way to do things. He wants you to give him your sorrows and give you peace in your heart and soul so your sins can be forgiven

[@adamhendy9227]

I literally got to be the first viewer, yay!