Command Respect & Show Your Worth WITHOUT Saying A Word- This Type of Woman Always Gets Used!

Become Un-Frikin’ Stoppable and Build Your Dream Life: bit.ly/3OZVf90
If you want to be able to stand up for yourself WITHOUT saying a word, then listen up homie!! Because there are sooo many PRACTICAL tips you can take from this episode to start feeling AND looking more confident - IMMEDIATELY!
Today’s guest is world-famous body language expert and Ted Talk speaker with over 68 million views, Dr. Amy Cuddy. Her writing, research, teaching, and speaking focus on how we can take control of our own thoughts, feelings, and body language to affect presence and performance, and today she’s revealing the simple tricks you can use to command respect from others and be portrayed as genuinely confident.
In this episode, we’re touching on:
- The importance of body language in conveying confidence
- Attractiveness and the role of posture in dating
- Dominant versus intimate body language
- Power posing and its impact on emotions
- The difference between genuine confidence and arrogance, and the double-standards women face
- Overcoming adult bullying
- How to use powerful body language to change the way you FEEL and ACT, so you don’t get taken advantage of or used
- The passive, powerless postures that you’re unconsciously using that are BETRAYING you and what to do instead
- The REAL reason you’re still hurting and lacking confidence yearsssss after that traumatic break-up with your high school boyfriend
So, if you’re ready to start conveying your worth and show up with more confidence in your life, without having to SAY anything, get ready to take notes because today’s episode is FILLED with actionable advice from Amy and it’s just what you need to hear, homie!
Chapter Markers:
🗣️ [00:00] Confidence without words
✋ [13:27] Body language stereotypes in young girls
👀 [25:28] The influence of appearance
😖 [31:32] Powerlessness through body language
❤️ [46:02] Benefits of expansive postures on mental health
🙌 [01:02:38] Body language in social settings
👩‍❤️‍👨 [01:11:03] The significant impact of high school relationships
👉 [1:20:15] Bonus Episode: Dr. Maya Shankar
***Bonus Episode: Embrace Change and Get Back Up with Dr. Maya Shankar***
Build your own “change survival kit” with the tools and strategies Dr. Maya Shankar shares in this BONUS conversation. She’s helping us unwire the old habits that are holding us back, recreate them to fit a new identity, and reframe how we see change in our minds.
BOMB ASS QUOTES FROM DR. AMY CUDDY:
“True confidence is grounded in strong self esteem and the ability to take negative feedback and actually hear it right if it's constructive.”
“Arrogance is sort of like a weapon that people use to prevent people from challenging them because they know there's nothing behind it. And so they've got to keep up that wall. And it does prevent people from challenging us, but not because they trust us, because they want to get rid of us."
“Adopting powerful posture changes how you feel about yourself. And how you feel about yourself is going to really powerfully influence the body language you use in an interaction in a way that's organic."
"[Bring] your boldest self to your biggest challenges."
Follow Dr. Amy Cuddy:
Website: www.amycuddy.com/
LinkedIn: / amy-cuddy-3654034
Instagram: / amycuddy
Get Your Copy of “Presence”: www.amazon.com/Presence-Bring...
Follow Me Lisa Bilyeu:
Website: www.radicalconfidence.com/
Instagram: / lisabilyeu
Facebook: / lisabilyeu
X: / lisabilyeu

[@LisaBilyeu]

Check out my FREE 4-Part Confidence Workshop! bit.ly/3sx0wNn

[@rainday1539]

Could you please interview Melanie Hamlett ? Her KZbin channel is under the same name.

[@Portia620]

I had alpha language😂😂 and that’s bad? How did we learn it then??? Why when raised by old fashioned parents would I have alpha language? Am I just a leader then? I’m not aggressive but confident

[@TejubescDM]

This conversation is so validating 😭😭. Finally someone admitting school experiences can affect you... And saying that you don't have to shrink and abandon yourself to "deserve" love 😢. This woman is a truthteller and she's been through it... 👏

[@susanlisak9018]

So happy I just stumbled upon this I so need it

[@gracepoint3]

My father was emotionally, verbally and occasionally physically abusive, and drank a lot. He picked fav’s and pitted us against each other, and you’re correct, those who were favored weren’t going to jeopardize their positions, even though in the long run, it really wasn’t going to help them either. People outside of my family would say how attractive, intelligent and talented I was in so many areas, but my father would put me down in front of them, and I thought accepting their compliments was a betrayal of my family. Later in life, I realized I did so many things at school, because I was trying to find something that would make me worthwhile in his eyes, when nothing was going to. I can also identify with the girl that talked about being a tomboy girl. I had twin brothers, who were my pals until I had to start acting like a “lady.” One of my friends in jr. and h.s. who chose me to be her “bestie” was a bully. I saw how she treated others, so I was afraid of her and allowed her to choose me and had to watch my p’s and q’s. Notice a pattern? One of my twin brothers ended up marrying a woman who, like my dad, was also a bully and decided to segregate my family from each other. I was the first to go. And like you said about bullies yes the rest kept their distance from me then, to protect their positions. My youngest sister married a bully also. So growing up with my father, and then having it happen, according to my siblings was devastating. So, guess what kind of mate I chose, unwittingly? A machismo, bully who I could not prove myself to enough. I had to escape. I’ve been spending the rest of my life learning and peeling the onion. I know I must be mindful b/c this is a lifelong business. Thanks to my studies and being willing to be influenced by people like yourself, I have a chance. I divorced the final vestiges of my family, b/c too many of them still play those games, and again many aren’t going to jeopardize their positions. Thank you. Right on. ❤😊

[@amycuddyphd6966]

I 💯 get it.

[@nycjanedoe]

I have been getting punished with 'stereotype backlash' since I was 7 years old. And it started with adults, including an administrator at my elementary school. I was a dynamic, athletic, capable, insightful, intuitive, and intelligent kid. I saw things for what they were and protested mistreatment accordingly. I wish I could remember what it felt like to be myself in a natural way, not in attempt to reclaim myself following all of the conditioning to the contrary. Thank you for giving me language for the spirit-killing I've survived.

[@masterreflections]

This is what I fear for my daughter along side physical mistreatments since my narc ex husband lied in court and took the children from me. I was all they knew and now it’s changed overnight and thrust them into his chaotic world.

[@melodimathews4907]

I find people get jealous of people who are confident. Especially when the woman is confident. And confident women attract narcissist. A confident happy woman is a project for the narcissist. Am I wrong? Just my experience and what I've learned about narcissism.

[@evka24]

You can attract them but you don’t have to entertain them.

[@masterreflections]

True, you don’t have to entertain them, but I find you don’t truly know they are what they are until a while later after you have formed an attachment to them. So now you have to go though a whole drawn out separation and break up.

[@willabestorms6059]

@@evka24 You’re saying the woman can/will prick tease the man…

[@willabestorms6059]

@@masterreflections Women know this at the beginning of every relationship…. This is how they judge a man.

[@lnaph]

I have attracted narciasists and i am not confident. Ultimately, not holding boundaries (having a strong "no") can help as well as being willing to cut thrm off if they continue to break or try to move small boundaries, but this is difficult as they are manipulative. Being aware of subtle signs can help as well as not falling too fast for words and gestures of interest... granted someone with a narcissistic persobality style does not always lovebomb, according to Dr Ramani.

[@meeperbird]

Synopsis: “as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”

[@mauimanda04]

Oh my God. This came at the perfect time. The universe gives you messages when you need them, my God...I was emotionally abused by my husband, cheated on, when I was the sole provider for 2 years. When he hit me, I called the cops and THAT was EASY. The mentally/ emotionally abusivneness I endured is.... oooffff....and you know , I recently started a boxing class and had CPTSD flashbacks .... and got told to take emotion out of it. I explained to people with all due respect CPTSD is not an emotion. Wtf . 😤😤😤

[@nyuuuchan]

You are so strong! wish you healing 🙏🏻

[@amycuddyphd6966]

❤❤❤

[@meditate5592]

Amy Cuddy’s book “Presence” is one of the best books ever written!

[@dawnhughes9942]

She's describing me to a T at around 45 min in. So validating. I was disappeared and don't know how to recover. Thanks for this guest and topic.

[@pameladeniselong]

Really appreciated the section about the competence and warmth dimensions of stereotyping. It’s intriguing that some people have to loose their warmth for their competence to become visible. Perhaps that depends on the cultural markers and/or personality of an interaction partner.

[@TejubescDM]

Thank you!! Halleluyah! One of the best conversations! I'll definitely get Amy book on bullying. Trauma and attachment style isn't just parents, I've been excluded from team games and being routinely picked last on PE which caused me low self esteem. I feel every guy, every employer will reject me how I was rejected by my peers. I have avoidant attachment style, social anxiety and don't trust myself. I feel if I am not the most athletic and strong I am burden. Thanks to PE teachers for dehumanizing me.. not every trauma happens at home.

[@Rut-vi7iz]

I HATED PE.

[@melbut.6716]

Yes, I totally understand you. Went through the same things.

[@erinhappy-go-lucky5040]

I believe that more than teenage years can contribute to a person’s attachment style. Any traumas can impact your attachment style. However, some traumas we’ve experience as adults could be from unhealed trauma we experienced in childhood and teenage years, forming as a pattern to heal. I’ve processed that an experience that I had a couple of years ago was tied to some of my painful experiences in middle school. Attachment styles can change, depending on the relationship and where a person is in their journey.

[@healingypsy]

Talking as the biggest tomboy on planet earth running around with the boys till I was 10 going on 11, and then what made me the opposite was having this blood come through my female body parts. Can there be anything that makes you feel so less than and vulnerable than that when compared to boys I was playing with ? I think its biological, partly the aunties saying "you're a woman now" lol yes still playing with my Barbies. I do remember switching overnight like this invisible ( I wanted to hide) demure head down girl from being one of the boys when I went up to receive my award for scoring the highest mark for Art at school. Hormones, eh.

[@jecellefetzer8716]

Omg!! I think that's part of why I'm afraid of success. Bullying. No more fear!

[@BarbaraBlackthorn]

I once walked up to two men I barely knew and asked for a cigarette and one guy said 'say please' and I looked at him and smiled and said 'NOW'. They both smiled and both tried to hand me a cigarette with a 'yes ma'am added.' 😂

[@PaulaW-wq1kh]

You should have said please... always say please. It's polite. Not weak.

[@Mo.1988]

Cringe

[@estrella5218]

Certainly one of the best interviews I have watched recently. Every topic resonated with me and the examples given by Amy on improving our mood and state of mind are so easy to use. I watched this interview twice and have made notes that I will use as tools. I feel very grateful to have come across this source of valuable information. Thank you Lisa and Amy!

[@amycuddyphd6966]

🙏🏻❤️

[@leilagomulka5690]

Lisa. You rock and roll. A blessing. To me. ❤

[@redheadbelle]

Very powerful, compassionate, deep talk. Thank you ❤

[@observingsystem]

These talks are life changing, Lisa, this is so important and to me personally really enlightening and clarifying. Thank you! 💖

[@xGREENxWOMANx]

i refuse to make eye contact w a man that i’m not interested in. men seem to think if i look at them that i want them ?

[@Mo.1988]

Same

[@dianepetzold1523]

Lisa- Thank you for another wonderful video! You put such good things out into the world. Appreciate you alot

[@cpodgorelec]

Bravo. Standing ovation. Regards South Australia. Be the sun and not the weather.

[@JoanneMacVittie-pl1jm]

Thank you for being commercial free! I love your promotions for women of impact, they're refreshing 🥰

[@shiharanizam2258]

The studio set up is very good. I think it’s very inviting and your guests would feel very comfortable and be more relaxed and open when talking.

[@averagejane09]

Emotional abuse IS very confusing. You second guess yourself so much. I just ended a toxic relationship with someone I actually loved and still do. But, it was unhealthy and so I am staying away. This is NOT easy. I miss him. It is taking all my strength to walk away. But I constantly second guess my memory. Thank goodness for keeping diaries. When I start to think...well maybe I am not being fair...I go back to my entries and have to at least temporarily reinforce my decision to stay away. It sucks so bad. I am so exhausted right now. I work at a desk at home and I know the best thing for me is to get up and get some exercise. It would help my mood but I just collapse after work. I am so exhausted I am starting to wonder if I am sick. I am gaining a bit of weight and feel so unhealthy. The only saving grace is I eat relatively healthy to balance things. I have no support system at all. Therapy is expensive. As Amy identified, this is when people start to have scary thoughts and want out. I keep going for my son, but I really don't want to many days and thankfully I am a bit too chicken to do anything about it. Lol. I keep telling myself, this too shall pass. This is my favourite saying apart from Nelson Mandela's saying "It always seems impossible until it is done". As Amy talked about her friend's body language changing when she received a text, I thought, that is terrible that her friend is going through that....I know...but I hope she really appreciates the gift of having a friend and a friend who is that in tuned to her needs. I can't imagine how that type of support would feel. A game changer. Guys, don't leave people alone when they are going through stuff. Check in. Take them out. You don't need to be a psychologist. Just an outing and a distraction sometimes makes all the difference.

[@SebastianJArt]

I love the subtext of this conversation. Amazing.

[@debm460]

Such a great channel. Lisa, think of us as your children. You are empowering us to be strong women. Thank you ❤

[@cherylgerstein7916]

Very Inspirational!! Thank you very much for sharing. I appreciated the speaker prior and this conversation greatly. Cheryl L.

[@nattyfalk3185]

Things don't happen for a reason, but if things happen, sometimes we have to be creative to find ways to heal or get through that distress.

[@ninaelisabetheitrem8368]

I love your pink boots and the fact that you are being authentic!

[@kateoverdier8716]

I imagine the Faux Amie (false friend) who set Lisa up with the cruel prank she mentioned. I picture that girl, now a grown adult, seeing Lisa on KZbin in all her sweet, outrageous, kind, and masterful power, living an amazing life she loves. I hope that woman now regrets her awful prank. If bullies target people who make them feel jealous or small, then this person probably feels pretty dang small.

[@Aisha_babii]

My cat puffs his body when he’s agitated

[@victoriousjoy9338]

I love the very flattering colors you 2 are wearing!! Nice!

[@adrianasiu1068]

WOW. THANKS for this

[@smaragdino]

What beautiful and charismatic woman!!! Thank you so much for this interview!!! Amazing stuff💝💖💖💖

[@amycuddyphd6966]

🥹🙏🏻

[@nyuuuchan]

Thank you for having her on the cast! That study about the dolls though 😱 Scary. Let's do better and 🔨 the patriarchy one girl at a time.

[@nataliebenkendorff1642]

Dear Lisa, once again thank you for your amazing work. Can I please make a suggestion that you interview a time management expert some other time? ❤

[@healingypsy]

Who is this lady guest please ?

[@ladybird131]

Amy Cuddy

[@GB-TX]

I always think of the "Superman pose" scene from Greys anatomy

[@evka24]

Lovely talk ..thank you. Lisa please add names of the people interviewed so we can find it if we wish to

[@amycuddyphd6966]

Hi! It’s me, Amy Cuddy. I’m a social psychologist, author, and was a long-time Harvard professor. You might have seen my TED talk on powerful body language (power posing). Thanks for tuning in. 😊

[@Agangelone]

The bully you described sounds like Kanye West. He bullied Taylor Swift.

[@1966Svea]

Dear Lisa! I do love your channel so much. Could you please stand back from advertising wine. The increasing number of people addicted or dying are causing so much harm. Please, do not be a part of this sadness. You bring so much joy.

[@Alyssaa3461]

Let me just say, physical abuse in a relationship almost ALWAYS comes with emotional and verbal abuse. I’ve been there but I know others and it almost ALWAYS comes with those too.

[@SanityIsland]

Power, unless it is from within, is corruption. People hand their own power to people and don't realize they just lost. Shared power is cooperation. No human being should be put on a pedestal.

[@JoanneMacVittie-pl1jm]

How about that right when I thank you for being commercial-free a commercial pops up 🙈

[@dameanvil]

00:00 🦁 Adopting powerful body language can convey confidence and worth without speaking a word. 03:14 🚶‍♂ Before entering a situation, adopt expansive body language to boost confidence and mindset preparation. 05:46 🚺 Women using dominant body language may face backlash due to societal stereotypes; it's more accepted in men. 08:04 🧒 Children as young as 4 start associating expansive body language with males, indicating learned gender stereotypes. 12:55 📝 Self-affirmation exercises, like listing personal traits and affirming their importance, can boost confidence and performance. 16:38 🤔 Confidence and arrogance are distinct; confidence is reassuring, while arrogance stems from fragile self-esteem and can be off-putting. 19:38 💑 Both men and women are attracted to confident individuals, regardless of gender, suggesting the importance of exuding confidence in social interactions. 20:43 🤔 Stereotyping often categorizes groups based on competence and warmth, with many groups being wrongly perceived as lacking one or the other. 22:23 🚺 Working women are often seen as confident but lacking warmth, while stay-at-home moms are perceived as warm but less confident, reflecting societal biases. 24:12 🚶‍♀ Expansive posture can induce feelings of power, leading to increased risk-taking and a greater sense of control. 26:31 🌟 Power doesn't necessarily corrupt; it reveals who we are, influencing how we behave and interact with others. 28:03 🤷‍♀ Powerlessness cues include face touching, neck touching, penguin arms, shorter steps, and quicker speech, indicating feelings of inhibition and self-doubt. 30:17 👁 Eye contact alone is not a reliable indicator of lying; instead, discrepancies between verbal and nonverbal cues can reveal deception. 35:24 💤 Sleeping in expansive postures can reduce morning anxiety, highlighting the connection between body language and mental well-being. 38:29 🔄 Small changes in body language can lead to significant shifts in mood and behavior over time, emphasizing the importance of mindfulness in posture and movement. 41:56 💪 Taking up space and adopting expansive body language can restore confidence and self-worth, especially after facing toxic relationships. 43:46 🚺 Women often face confidence issues due to toxic relationships, even if they are successful in other areas. 44:13 🤝 Bullies often target confident women who achieve success, aiming to undermine their achievements and self-esteem. 45:51 💔 Bullying can have devastating effects on mental health, leading some victims to contemplate or attempt suicide. 47:46 🤝 Bullies, including partners, often isolate their targets to maintain control and prevent them from seeking support. 49:46 🤕 Victims of emotional abuse may struggle to validate their experiences, as emotional abuse is often overlooked or misunderstood. 51:26 🚺 Observing changes in body language, like shrinking or tension, can signal emotional distress in others, prompting support and intervention. 54:36 💃 Engaging in activities like dancing or listening to music can help individuals expand their body language and improve their emotional state. 56:26 🧠 Changing behaviors, even temporarily, can lead to shifts in attitude and confidence, helping individuals overcome challenges. 59:48 🧍‍♀ Paying attention to body language cues like steepling can reveal changes in confidence levels and power dynamics in interpersonal interactions. 01:02:03 🗣 Men talk more than women on average, contrary to the stereotype. 01:04:35 💬 The younger generation exhibits better communication and relationship skills, with less fear of conflict. 01:06:26 🧠 Childhood experiences, including relationships, significantly impact adult attachment styles and relationships. 01:09:03 💔 Negative experiences in childhood relationships, such as toxic friendships or romantic partners, can impact self-esteem and confidence in adulthood. 01:10:24 💡 People who were bullied often become "Brave Hearts," standing up for others, but the experience can also deeply wound and affect trust in future relationships. 01:13:48 💪 Encouraging men to be in touch with their emotions is a sign of strength and self-awareness, crucial for healthy relationships. 01:17:28 🔄 Change, even if pursued for positive reasons, can have unexpected consequences on one's identity and behavior. 01:19:33 🔄 Change is complex, and outcomes may not align with expectations, emphasizing the importance of humility and gratitude in life's journey. 01:21:36 🌧 Moments of grief and despair can make it challenging to see silver linings or practice gratitude. 01:22:04 💔 Experiencing profound loss, such as miscarriage, can lead to intense grief and heartbreak, making it difficult to see beyond the pain. 01:23:24 🌟 Practicing gratitude, though initially difficult during moments of grief, can provide perspective and remind individuals of the positive aspects of life. 01:24:48 💡 Gratitude exercises can help individuals shift their perspective from solely focusing on pain and loss to recognizing the richness and diversity of life's components. 01:26:23 🎙 Sharing personal experiences of change and loss can be therapeutic and inspire others to find meaning and positivity in their own struggles. 01:29:38 🧠 The belief that "everything happens for a reason" may not resonate with everyone, especially when confronted with profound suffering and tragedy. 01:31:16 📖 Humans have a natural inclination to create narratives and find meaning in their experiences, even if they don't subscribe to the idea of predestined reasons for events. 01:32:40 ✨ Making meaning out of challenging experiences can empower individuals to rewrite their own stories and find inspiration for positive change.

[@shraddashradda]

Just call in black panther medicine …you will never look back

[@bonitascase3512]

I am really looking for solutions.

[@jessica11381]

35:37 38:00 39:45 51:43 1:16:36

[@TheBulletzgottishow20]

❤❤❤❤🥰🥰❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

[@henryhealing]

Who is this? I don't see her name/title/area?

[@d0v3Tai1]

Social Psychologist Amy Joy Casselberry Cuddy who coined the term "The Power Pose".

[@karenreed5911]

I love your work and all you share with the world. But I cannot stop myself from pointing out the obvious...you two are 'dressed up' EXACTLY reflecting the problem you are shining a light on. Please, see this. Women play a HUGE role in the problems men are creating. We are all connected. We are all responsible. (-;

[@Rut-vi7iz]

Victim blaming is over. Go away.

[@TejubescDM]

I luv their clothes... Colors are so vibrant !!! That's an entertainment show, after all. It'd be weird if Lisa wore military uniform or medical suit to satisfy people who have conditioning to unpack 😆🤭

[@irenehurtig266]

Wow at age 11 we start to sprinkler

[@lucib8497]

Lisa, I love this episode, but the amount of interruptions for ads made it hard to get the complete message in places. Not great for people with ADHD and working memory issues.

[@michel_michel]

- Lisa has nothing to do with the interruptions - it’s KZbin.

[@irenehurtig266]

Shrink at 11 ?Dominance at 5 for Boys.

[@juanitalouw3958]

This explains so much... I'm not a girl's girl... Now i understand why....

[@FlatStella1]

my ex

[@ItsLittleSiren]

Good talk, but Hillary was also being shady & shutting down Bernie rallys. That's why people didn't like her either.

[@reacting_to_stuff_]

These podcasts gurus are useless, you consume content that doesn’t really change your life, vague advice benefiting only the channel creator

[@Maria-kh2bd]

You lost me at Hillary Clinton 😫