Dependent Journalist - Jerma Plays Michigan: Report From Hell (Long Edit)

[@susgatchevmolotov6954]

The video just begins and he is already talking about nonsense, that's my jerma

[@Wohlfe]

Ya ever drive on the road?

[@SomeIcelandicDude]

​@@Wohlfe He's right since Jerma said he never hits birds, I swear I hit at least one a year, stupid birds

[@chris-P-huck]

Crows and magpies do it all the time

[@LowryYT]

i gotta say tho, 2 days ago i did have this happen and i braked to let the bird pass unobstructed, luckily there was noone behind me, a lot of the time tho i just think its a leaf being blown until i get real close i see that its a tiny little bird

[@selamandreykum5844]

Talking about how he totally killed something with a car. That's my Jerma

[@IAmCaligvla]

This game is already wacky as it is, the slowdown just makes it even better. Everyone is dumb AND drunk now.

[@billybear2333]

Why does it do that? Was the game released like that?

[@rosnath]

@@billybear2333 Probably an issue with how he was emulating it

[@IAmCaligvla]

​​@@billybear2333He screwed up his emulator settings somehow. Probably related to CPU speed.

[@billybear2333]

@@IAmCaligvla ah right

[@gloomsi]

30:38 holy shit it literally sounds like jerma doing his jigsaw voice thats so fucking funny

[@JerryS-zb2lf]

I still can't handle that its real and not just a jerma bit.

[@CallofFreaky]

*Gas*

[@gloomsi]

@@CallofFreaky GYAS

[@endenel8694]

"it was an elderly gentleman in a nursing home" 😢

[@ZeallustImmortal]

It really does

[@pinkmoon0]

I can’t believe you meet like ten fucking reporters and they all die

[@pinkmoon0]

wait I JUST learned that you can save them all. WHAT???? HOW??? dude that makes it even fucking funnier. There’s just this cameraman who’s doing nothing the whole time and magnetizes ten fucking reporters because the game keeps needing to replace them

[@spacebassist]

the first time i heard of this, the guy said "this has to be the game director's fetish" and it kinda does have that "idiot acting" where a character bumbles into those situations and does jack to avoid it or save themself i'm trying to ignore it but it's a bit more uncomfortable now i know "oh it's *that* game" at least they all sound drunk and it's clearly a janky PS2 game

[@dan_loeb]

I can't believe japan thinks news reporters are issued guns.

[@theblobconsumes4859]

@@spacebassist They all sound drunk partly due to Jerma messing up the emulator settings. There's a tiny bit of it that was the original acting but most of it is definitely the emulator settings being messed up.

[@vallytine]

@@spacebassist It's the video game equivalent of Ashley the Terrible

[@scroogeydoogeedoo]

when the guy calls on the phone the guy on the other end GENUINELY sounds like when Jerma does one of his voices

[@qualitybait9957]

I said this before, but the sound guy’s transition from "bad voice actor" to "oh my god, this guy is actually getting murdered in real life" is hilarious

[@CrAzYpotpie]

The voice acting is never all that bad, though (besides the maniac near the end). It is terrible (or non existent) voice direction, terrible writing, terrible story. No one was there to tell the voice actors the scenes their characters were in properly or what type of inflections to have. The shrieks of horror are definitely hilarious, as is usual of any good shriek/scream, and you can't really mess that up when you are a good voice actor, even with no direction.

[@hopperdown811]

PLLWAASSSEEE I NEED THE TIMESTAMP

[@qualitybait9957]

⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠@@hopperdown81124:35 26:15 56:30 And yeah, I really don’t mean to disparage the VAs. I’m sure this is far from their best work. Just contextually it makes the game a whole lot funnier than it should be

[@hopperdown811]

@qualitybait9957 this amazing

[@JesterMerlin]

@@CrAzYpotpie The voice acting is terrible, what are you talking about? Hilarious but still terrible

[@rls664]

Crazy how in 10 minutes he's already watched two women die without intervening. He even laughed

[@nickrose1312]

That was before he even started the stream

[@rls664]

@@nickrose1312 Truly bone chilling

[@kafkaesque6459]

OHHHHHH MYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOODDDDDD

[@ChewyTwee]

THEYRE EATING HER………. AND THEN THEYRE GONNA EAT ME!!

[@ararelover420]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAAHHAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. What was a dead body doing there.

[@mood_court]

Michigan: Literally has a town called Hell *Michigan* Report from *Hell* : lol, Chicago

[@JerryS-zb2lf]

as a dude from michigan Im getting pretty mad about my culture being stolen.

[@pinkmoon0]

This game is like lifeline but you command the idiot characters by looking at things instead of talking

[@delusionalbovid]

I know this isn't what you meant but imagine a horror game that uses the tobii eye tracker

[@almsivi1405]

SEXY POSE

[@crash-ew6hw]

​@@delusionalbovidthat would be interesting

[@ZeallustImmortal]

At least when Half-Life did this idea they made it dark and you were the only one with a flashlight, so it made sense.

[@SaffronSheep]

Brisco being so distraught over every reporter dying gets funnier every time it happens.

[@whatever8828]

this game is so oddly frustrating to watch. none of these characters seem to have any common sense and situational awareness. the camera man needing to tell someone to fire at the monsters is so strange

[@robotman5105]

Same, I also felt similar when watching the Nancy Drew game in Salem because the cousin was so obnoxious in an unfunny way and kept yelling at the screen for her to shut up!

[@dragondojima]

nothing about this game is good lol.. it was funny bad

[@ChewyTwee]

All games should add temporary .75 slowdown at random intervals, even the most boring shit would be hysterical

[@CallofFreaky]

I love your pfp

[@ChewyTwee]

@@CallofFreaky tyyyyy :33 Jerma fans love my epic furry swag

[@dudestep]

Play games on my laptop and you’ll get the same experience.

[@AsymptoteInverse]

This must be what it's like to watch Cloverfield on pain medication.

[@PuRpLe9HaZe6]

You'd actually just fall asleep and wake up at the end

[@bromanjozy9099]

this is the funniest thing ive ever read

[@dogshake]

Nah, i take percocet, you just wouldnt remember the movie (if you take a large enough dose)

[@ZxybzzYT]

30:22 it literally sounds just like Jerma doing a voice lmfao

[@jooonnnaaaa]

nobody disturb me for the next 1 hour and 35 minutes. thanks.

[@zombiesalmon4997]

I hope all the voice actors who starred in this game are doing good these days

[@ripzayn]

when ur trying to thug it out thru the breakup and then dumptruck blesses u with a long edit

[@vortexx3028]

actually so real

[@CodeZhix]

realest shit I've ever read

[@halolime117]

BEYOND real

[@paulseejcj3807]

This game is a horror version of Mambo No. 5

[@Iggy-80]

Love that Nina went from being terrified of thunder and lightning to being a badass who doesn't even scream when she's literally being eaten alive.

[@Cappucirn0]

I can't believe I've never seen any of this trainwreck of a game, god bless. The involuntary slow motion, awful voice acting, terrible plot and Jerma missing almost every occasion to save reporters all come together to form a beautiful disaster.

[@CutiePie4325]

“you ever, like, driving on the road?” no i transcend space and time

[@Zaretar]

Perfect for cleaning my depression room to

[@catden007]

everybody say thank you dumptruck

[@Yung_Bnoxxx]

Ive seen more jerma streams than i have movies

[@Yolko493]

The first expendable woman in this story sounds exactly like the voice actors in early pokemon dubs

[@vincenttorrijos9680]

The reporter dying skipping the whole chapter is so stupid, but it does prodduce some fun

[@gloomsi]

ive seen so many people start this game but never the ending, what the fuck was that LMAOOO

[@Swanhub]

This game smells like the original yakuza for ps2

[@SPARKRIZZLE]

man these voice actors are great

[@Billythegun]

Thank you Dumpy

[@レコン4649]

Thank you dumpy this is one of my favorite streams. The lag, awkward voice acting, Jerma's laughter and pure bewilderment.. it's perfect.

[@marshall_tyler3080]

The characters talk to each other like you’d talk to a toddler

[@SomeOtherBots]

My friend shared with me some Jerma clips and shortly afterwards I came across this channel. Some days are not my best brain day, but I can’t express how much joy these videos bring me on my roughest days.

[@angelbabe555]

the way it doesn't even take place in michigan

[@Sybist]

I've hit 3 birds while driving. They all happened within 2 months, never before and never since in my 9 years of driving. The first was a massive bird that swooped down straight into my headlight and broke it. The second just flew across and got hit. The last was literally just standing in the road and for at least 10 seconds I thought "Surely it'll move" which it decided to do waaay too late.

[@pff187]

Holy shit Nina saying "I can take this thing" before blowing up an entire house with shotgun shells made me have a coughing fit.

[@MuradBeybalaev]

30:37 That's a perfect rendition of exactly how Jerma sounds when he's doing his Saw voicechanger gags.

[@aciperkele5173]

Elvis on the phone bit made me laugh so hard🤣

[@ChewyTwee]

Chicago isn’t even in Michigan lol

[@MegaManlet]

Chicago is on Lake Michigan

[@ChewyTwee]

@@MegaManletyeah but the game isn’t called Lake Michigan: Report from hell is it?

[@watchmejumpstart24]

Jerma immediately forgets about the "putting the camera down to help" mechanic as soon as it's told to him lol

[@spoonkies]

dump you thank truck

[@curtistreg4057]

24:35 this is like a masterclass in comedic timing

[@realzoogies]

Shoutout dumptruck for another great Long Edit

[@jonhg92]

every single voice actor came in to work fucking sloshed

[@auto7385]

they got the best guy to work at ZAKA TV, this streamer is the zonkiest zorner out there.

[@moistsangwidge6313]

56:26 this game/stream summed up in 1 clip:

[@rmshX]

Oh my gaaaaaaawd

[@brosty_Star]

A ABSOLUTELY NEEDED LONG EDIT

[@Squnklicuous]

This stream has always been extremely entertaining to me for whatever reason, thank you for da long edit :D

[@PonkeyPoe]

MICHIGAN MENTIONED

[@ExaltedUriel]

Whenever I see a Jerma video with (Long Edit) in the title I am seated

[@jacobg2662]

I love your edits, any chance you could include the original stream date in the description? It helps me place it along the jerma lore timeline

[@rubycosmo6279]

I love that Brock from Pokemon and Brisco are the same character.

[@noahengel4348]

This takes camera man never dies to a new level

[@cominforyachips]

jerma has chips glued to his windshield

[@virtuallypresent9918]

I'm a certified jermamite

[@polartechie]

I've got some bad jermavitis

[@gibberish6368]

jermite

[@SPX900]

Jerman

[@the-red-thing]

24:44 holy shit that scream

[@guggycat]

This game makes me feel like I’m getting a cold

[@Luminousreign]

That bird thing doesnt happen at all. The only explanation is that Jerma is intentionally driving at flocks of birds on the ground at 40-50 mph.

[@compookiie]

The elvis comment fucking killed me

[@Governator3]

Drunk Elvis made me lmao

[@crushie909]

50:32 falling asleep to this audio ❤

[@callmestumps6954]

Leave it to Jerma to experience the absolute fucking wildest bugs in a game

[@jacksonwyse7524]

this stream would have been way better if he just stopped pressing the big red button that slows the game down

[@greenoftreeblackofblue6625]

Did you honestly wanted him to take this game seriously?

[@Aquana01]

Yeah I've wondered that too. Birds also just sit on the road waiting to get hit. When I drive over them and look in the back mirror they are gone and probably flew away iust in time. I think they have some sort of hyper reflexes unlike humans

[@spacebassist]

i heard that pigeons, when shown a video, only recognised them as continuous motion at something like 80fps. that also links with a thing i've always heard that animals perceive time differently (faster or slower relative to ours) but man, I need a citation

[@0ri0sMel0nie]

I think its like, generally speaking, smaller animals with faster metabolisms experience time faster. Like how flies are so good at dodging.

[@cataclystp]

@@0ri0sMel0nie flies are good at dodging because they're so small and light they get pushed away by the air moved by your hand when you try to swat them.

[@CrAzYpotpie]

​@@cataclystpThat's why suction is the best method, so open your mouth.

[@atrustworthyfellow6887]

saving my favorite lines as I watch this: try ramming in a pinch if you hadnt warned me about that board, you might have gotten a little scoop on me *jogs 5 seconds away from a human eating monster* YOU WANT ME TO BE QUIET! I'M HIRING PROFESSIONALS NEXT TIME Pamela knew the dangers she faced (reporter eaten alive while reporting on some fog) you've got to ram ann to save her

[@JerryS-zb2lf]

The phone, holy shit the phone part.

[@kabbablabba4073]

is no one going to talk about how your coworker teaching you how to use your camera is just randomly like "oh by the way in case you have to fight something while holding your camera heres how to use it as a blunt weapon"

[@yxbxi]

i love michigan report from hell so much

[@BonBonToro]

lol I don't remember jerma playing this insane cult classic, this is gonna be such a ride ahahahah

[@SPARKRIZZLE]

i need to watch this because i’m from michigan

[@jermiahenjoyer]

THEY'RE ALL ZONKED

[@buttahball5993]

OHH SHIT: The Game

[@ChrisSummers-AlienFaeRE]

Disclaimer: When driving it is not only advisable but compulsory that you maintain a visual on the road. Pay no attention to the flying reconnaissance. .avian fauna. Jermaine Cornelius Hampshire does not condone being distracted whilst driving.

[@educampsrocks]

God bless you dumpy

[@liverenjoyer]

we are so back

[@TheWoozly]

Nice, I love Dead Rising!

[@frogmanbogman]

hey is that one womans voice actor velma scooby doo?? it sounds like her in zombie island

[@PinnePon]

Cloverfield if it was good

[@TetoPeaked]

yearning for more jerma

[@Astorath_the_Grim]

This must be old. He's very Bostonie.

[@AndyAtHome]

Watching this made me wonder if he had ever played Deadly Premonition, and apparently he did! I'm not sure yet if the stream was any good or not but a long edit of that series would be pretty great.

[@GracefulJabberwocky]

jermalist

[@PedroKing19]

I'm going to shill for my favorite youtube reviewer Grimbeard now. Watch his review of this game!!!

[@j-diver]

This is like watching a game made by skinwalkers trying to make something that appeals to the humans

[@g3n3ric_gam3r]

Watch this video at .5 speed for the optimal experience.

[@Babie_caterpillar]

Holy shit i didnt know he played this

[@DrawntoRetroTech]

The birds get hit, they just go through the grills of your car and rot in there, also I’ve seen rats.

[@crash-ew6hw]

0:00 for me it's cats that do that a lot

[@MrCoolfuzzy18]

aged like fine wine

[@i_barely_hee-know_her]

57:08 The famous mountains of Illinois

[@tacticoolbrucey7912]

This game is so bad it's good and the slowdowns from the emulator just makes it amazing

[@nekoshogun856]

funny man playing game as cameraman .

[@PuRpLe9HaZe6]

My ex opened a birthday card that was addressed to me and threw it away. It had some top secret shit inside.

[@kierankress5682]

Recording all these dead bodies reminds me of the Logan Paul Japan Vlog

[@Verminangel]

I miss when Jerma would just play irrelevant games no one had any expectations for.

[@flamesmcgee]

I have problem with suicidal birds too >:(

[@CallofFreaky]

30:23 I know how much you hate beetles and bugs

[@ruuji.]

I don't know why, but for a second, I thought it said (Hell Edit) on the title.

[@mikhail_SKII]

I like the Jerm stream