DETACH. They don't hold your VALUE.

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[@bobbypigeon6243]

My fiance left me just before the wedding, he was on a business trip and found a woman there. He said “I’m in love, no way back to you, we can’t be together anymore”. I was terrified and could not believe my ears. He said all that stuff on the phone. We were together for 10 years I supported him and provided everything. Now I begin to understand the importance of self value. Don’t let anyone create your value and estimate you. You have your own brain and mind. Please put yourself first.

[@Moondust111]

I’m sorry love :(

[@afrintayeba2981]

Hold ur ground,,be patient,hold ur head high..men r terrible.. How can he did this to u..ver sry to hear,take hug...💚💚

[@ThuNguyen-cy5ei]

I'm so sorry.......... Giving you a virtual hug! I can feel your pain.

[@VeeLondon1449]

♥️

[@yasmines395]

Wow. Thank you for sharing.

[@beverlytaylor1745]

I once read; 'Don't give up everything to become someone else's nothing'. You are amazingly helpful. Thank you. ❤

[@Ngoziscreativity]

I had to screenshot this comment, Thank you.

[@Margarita.Nazarenko]

Love that!

[@natalijanaca1115]

I dodget a bullet (ON TIME, and im thankful for that!) when a guy (a boy i call him!😂) who was foreigner (who chased me for long time, involved my fam into the whole thing and at the end got me) FIRST said to me that he cant be w me (after he got w me) because ITS HARD when ppl have to move countries (refering to me who shall in the future move for him). Said its not good to move for someone,"i mean you can if you want but its hard for me to ask you to do that",SAID ALLL THE CRAP. (Also, he didnt say it to my face but after we split and when i returned to my country he was saying that to others, NOT me (another poor quality of that man, thank God i am not with him)). Me, who survived death and two cancers in my family in the past, a fun cheerfull gal, from poor country but country full of beauty and humanity , didnt know my value - and was suffering for months after that, judging my own reality . My point is : *I* SHOULD say all that things that he said (i only shortened a story for you, its much longer), a woman should say it first, a woman should think. Because a woman will change her life for him. She should think about that. Shame on him. He returned after couple of months (of course they do, they do realise its them whos the problem😂, when he slept with alll these girls he wanted to he was back to get his attention from myself), returned while having a girlfriend (poor thing, i saw her) but he just doesnt exist in my reality. He lost the important character in my life. To be my chosen one. 🤗✈🌍✔🍀🙈 💞

[@la_baby_khalil7703]

Lisa Nichols...👍😊

[@sujata_155]

I made a screenshot, thanks ❤

[@starrchild1972]

Well said. If someone doesn’t want you, let them go. They will regret it.

[@staLkerhu]

"They will regret it." 😆👌

[@Harry-fk5of]

If you're not aligned there are no regrets, you'll both end up happier without each other (unless the person was a s*** and abuser, then they might regret losing their victim but that's another story).

[@GilliandaSilva]

Whether they regret it or not is irrelevant. The merit you hold for yourself is the reward.

[@irinaivanovic9792]

They don't always end up regretting dumping you, even though they KNOW you were a great woman and treated them well and truly loved them. That's the part that hurts.

[@Ifidreamitidoit3566]

​@@irinaivanovic9792Dajte nekoliko mjeseci. Uvijek zažale kada vide da trava nije zelenija drugdje

[@bearsmiles4u]

Damn girl. When I catch myself feeling badly or triggered, I put you on repeat.

[@christineh.5488]

Same! I finally found my courage & walked away 5 days ago. Last night I had a nightmare about him being badly hurt in hospital (he had significant health issues) & woke up in distress, wanting to reach out. Opted to come listen to these vids instead! 💫 I will say a prayer that he is safe & thriving while also remembering that his actions do not align with my wants & values. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@donaldpump3072]

Quit feeling and use logic/common sense

[@brandyhunter932]

That’s what I had to do today…Literally!

[@freedomflowsred]

Same!!

[@lizakoch]

same 😂

[@williamharding1319]

"It says more about your relationship with yourself and your lack of boundaries.... then it does about him". This is absolute gold and should resonate with anyone who lacks a of sense of self.

[@dougcoleman8972]

😊❤❤999

[@dougcoleman8972]

😊

[@mikepiccolo32]

​@@dougcoleman8972are you involved in sorcery?

[@howarddodge772]

@@mikepiccolo32 do you use your brain 🧠

[@mikepiccolo32]

@@howarddodge772 are you insane ?

[@AnnaPugacova]

I dated a guy for 8 weeks. Really liked him but some things didn’t sit right. For example, he was so loving and close to me when we were at his place but cold and distanced whenever we left the apartment. Also his humor was always determining how our time together will be. He struggled to plan and commit. I ended up breaking up with him. Instead of thinking 💭 why he doesn’t like me enough, why can’t he see my value, I lost him etc. I reframed it to “I CHOSE MYSELF” and whenever I do that - I win. And I bravely showed to myself that I value myself. For the first time in my life I am refusing to paint over all the red flags 🚩 to make them green. For the first time I choose to see them for who they are. He had a potential but I wasn’t ready to sacrifice my life to wait him out. I have never ever done this in my life. At 34 I am finally doing it and I feel so strong 🥹🔥❤

[@charlottewu2998]

Thank you for sharing! I am hoping to do the same!

[@vuhuongly3884]

I chose myself is so powerful. Thank you for sharing your story!

[@Thatonechick778]

I’m 37 and just ended a 6 year relationship where I wish I would’ve realized this much sooner. Now I will not compromise on the red flags or gaslight myself into believing they’re not as bad as they are. I am finally choosing myself ❤❤

[@sagenosnibor9173]

💪🏾

[@martap1378]

So proud of you

[@chericoffman6321]

The best thing about being my age (55) is I have realized living a full, joyful life doesn’t require a partner.

[@DeshaunDamon]

What about companionship and sexual satisfaction?

[@jfletch8787]

"There are no hard feelings but he just doesn't get to exist in my reality" this sentence!!!

[@TN-ow7yd]

'he doesn't match the value I give to myself' - 🙏 amen!!!!

[@luannebowery6696]

This woman GETS IT. This is the first time I’ve ever heard someone breakdown the truth this way. This is so important and so powerful. Best thing on the internet.

[@AstarteRap]

Yes 🫀🔥❤️⭐🙏🏻🐉♾️

[@audreydoyle5268]

Manifestelle is also a great channel, similar to this sort of content

[@ssing7113]

“Put yourself behind your choices” Best words I’ve heard in maybe the last two years

[@mekylieme]

I must say this: I NEEDED to hear this exactly now during an intense feeling of low value from someone. Someone I'm realizing I don't even really like very much anymore, now that I think of it (especially now that you mention it). An opportunistic porn-addict with mother issues is not the person I wanna be with. Thank you so so much.

[@Galvatronover]

On prom addiction how does that effect a relationship (as a man)

[@flowersinthefire]

​@@Galvatronoverno high value woman wants to embrace the energy of a man who gets his needs met through invalidating the integrity and emotional security we build in our relationship via fantasies of other women

[@danaparfitt2491]

​@@flowersinthefireno self respecting woman with redeeming qualities either, even if humble or doesnt use catch phrases like high value much, as all are beautyful

[@Kima89]

​@@Galvatronoverthank you for being curious enough to ask. We want to be the only woman your intimate with and it feels awful inside for me personally when I know my man is feeling the need to watch porn when I take care of him sexually and am monogamous and in love only with him, it feels truly like a betrayal very much akin to being cheated on , on a deep emotional level . I understand intellectually he doesn't want to be with them and I understand he's not comparing my body to theirs but when you see your significant other viewing porn actresses who are way different it's hard not to feel diminished and inferior and even less sexually attractive to him. This has been an issue with me and my current boyfriend and whereas I had a very high sex drive with him before, seeing him lie to me about watching porn broke my trust in him, diminished my bond to him and my sex drive and sexual need for him and my admiration of him as a good man all fell off tremendously ever since this issue has come up multiple times recently and if I'm being honest I know in my heart we probably won't be together long term because I don't want a man who acts this way in my life and I think 90% of women will agree with me

[@rb757]

@@Galvatronover I’ve noticed a difference in certain men who do watch and don’t the ones who do watch it their minds are constantly sexual they’re quite uninteresting in real life and it’s hard to emotionally connect with them those who don’t are genuinely so interesting fun to be around playful more respectful with sexual boundaries funnier classier so many things

[@xfaroutzx3637]

Someone's behaviour is a reflection of the value THEY bring to the relationship not of the value you bring.

[@youdoyouboo88]

Less than a minute in and your insight hit harder than any of my therapy sessions ever have.

[@abbz23]

Therapy is useless lol

[@dove9570]

​@@abbz23I agree

[@shezafool2]

I totally agree with you.

[@natalijanaca1115]

My therapist was super useful (from Serbia) but Margarita was a fantastic addition to it. ❤ thanks, girl. Regards from Europe

[@thisisseemaa]

Truee

[@InshasChoice]

Letting go of someone that you know isn't good for you is tricky. I often curse the day I duped myself by putting them on a pedestal; liking the idea of them rather than what they were actually giving me (the bare minimum). It was shortlived - like most of my encounters with people - yet it still has some hold on me

[@LoveHarryStyles89]

I have the same issue, I don't miss this ex but I really regret how low I made myself by giving him so much importance and putting him on a pedestal when he was just giving me the bare minimum. I was chasing him like crazy when he ghosted me after almost 5 years and I hate myself for putting myself in such a low position for some piece of shit. He was enjoying his life with his rebound while I was in the shadow wondering why he is not responding to my texts and calls. He truly is scum but I am more hurt now about how I treated myself. After 12 years, I am still hurt about how I treated myself for someone not worth shit!

[@joanna6570]

@@LoveHarryStyles89sending you the strength so you can forgive yourself. How would you speak to a close friend or family member if they told you that exact story. Give yourself the love you would them

[@Sans21new]

I bawled my eyes out yesterday night as I sat and saw this video on how to detach myself from him. This jerked me up and hit the nail on the coffin for me. I broke up with him today after months of pleading for time, attention and love. I needed to realise my value and that I didn’t actually like him. I cannot thank you enough for making my eyes open!!! I am deeply hurting but I feel confident that I stood up for myself. You are a saviour Margarita!! You couldn’t have made it clearer than this!! I got out finally and now have to focus on healing myself from this pattern. I am keeping your videos on repeat to heal and better myself. Thanks again from the bottom Of my heart 😢❤

[@littlelily4]

You got this 💙

[@jacquelinem2406]

You go girl 💪 ❤️

[@samiksha3180]

You can do it honey. Sometimes God removes trash to give you the blessings you deserve. Keep going 💗

[@jaymieturner9976]

"Accept it with your chest out". Love that. That is definitely going to play in my mind when I need it.

[@lovelylin1670]

Margarita you are the most concise, well spoken presenter I have ever listened to. You have a master skill. Thank you for getting right to the core of every issue you talk about. Thank you for existing and sharing your mind with us. ❤

[@Margarita.Nazarenko]

Glad it was helpful!

[@j.jgodismyprotection4296]

I promise my self July 1st 2023 I'm not continuing in a Situationship. This morning 5:00 Am i Deleted his number out of my phone. And i said to God help me to be strong. I wasted so much time trying to get him to like me. Only use me for Sex. Being in this mess brought me heart ach. I take accountability for putting my self in this mess looking for love. But I'm holding on to God's Grace and moving forward. Putting in the work to love me and getting back to where i know i was with God. God loves me and us so much. He wants us to be free and Happy. This message is right on time Thank you Margarita your messages are always on time.

[@gala2103]

Sending power and blessings to you, hold on.

[@justanotherviewer00]

Sending you so much love ❤️

[@michaeladuacheampong6016]

Wishing you grace and strength to go through this phase of your life🙏🏾❤

[@j.jgodismyprotection4296]

@@gala2103 I will Thank you ❤

[@j.jgodismyprotection4296]

@@justanotherviewer00 Thank you. Same to you ❤

[@alyssax94]

I adore you and your advice! I always ask myself now “do i even like him”? I always focused so much on the POTENTIAL and putting them on a pedestal. I have definitely become more secure with myself, what i want and what boundaries i set, and secure in my relationships. Your videos help so much ♡

[@LeeChrissy]

Yesss I just realized this more recently myself. I think I was more in love with the potential than the reality.

[@Paulina-yv7go]

Yes, the potential, "what can be"...😅

[@EadsB7002]

@@Paulina-yv7go yes! and oftentimes that person really isn't treating you all that great/how you deserve anyway! You have to stop and reframe as in "they aren't treating me as i deserve...i feel disappointed...like i lost what i really wanted "...but in reality we have to ask "how is this really a loss??"....it's not!

[@xoxjelloxox]

How do you become more secure in yourself?

[@alyssax94]

@@xoxjelloxox i just focused more on my self concept & fixing worthiness wounds. And started showing up for myself more: waking up when i set a certain time to, less phone time more doing what i actually enjoy, and basically doing what i tell myself i will do to the best of my ability. Oh and to get away from anxious attachment, i’ve found letting go & allowing the beauty of the unknown to flow in has helped a ton.

[@georgefrazer2231]

What you do is quickly and quietly 'walk away' and associate with individuals who respect both you and all your values and integrity. Remember who you are and that you are worthy and have far higher value than those who seek to belittle you and 'bring you down' to 'their' level. You were created to 'live fulfilled' on your own level. Do not let others 'drag you down' to their level. Quietly 'turn away' and follow your own unique destiny. Thank you for this video and all your other videos.

[@lapetitemorte415]

‘Your brain lowers your value”….no frickin’ wonder I don’t recognize who I am after 14 years of choosing to stay. Wow. Got off the ride and taking the other path of letting my brain match the reality.

[@seamr05]

❤

[@lydiahanoucha7271]

I love all your detachment videos you explain it so well and clearly

[@Margarita.Nazarenko]

Glad you like them!

[@mikepiccolo32]

​. Are you going to any concerts this summer?

[@kestrelsings]

perfection. thanku Margarita.. one thing for people to remember is.. if you can detach and even leave someone, then the slimy, arrogant, narcissistic ones will only want you after you've left.. coz they only want you when they can't have you-they don't want you for yourself.. so you have to be extra stong at the beginning or when they come back!..

[@FreePalestineNow111]

Love this❤... I am in this battle- He'd become abusive in every way, I broke up with him so many times- after each incident he would always weave his way back to me+ I would cave in and take him back+ it was a cycle- till 2 weeks ago when I found out that he'd been cheating on me for the last 6 Months with a woman who lives in the same apartment I live... we'd just made up the day before after weeks of being apart because he'd become verbally abusive and disrespectful+++ he was telling me how he suffers when we are apart😂.. I was devastated... I have summoned all the courage that it took my ancestors to get me here to make sure this is the last break up.. I am looking for courage and resolve anywhere I can find it- including here❤...He's been on his knees and fours begging and saying how he regrets😅 I simply can't continue devaluing myself for such a man- in my pain I still thank God for finally opening my eyes to what evil I'd been subjecting myself to just because I loved a man- and how I'd self abandoned... Thank you for sharing..

[@DaxFlyingwoodHunter]

Your potent message here SAVED ME today. I woke up experiencing uncontrollable tears after being rejected by my wife/ex-wife on the very last chance I was giving her before I walk away for good and you couldnt be more on point. I am a good man with good values good intentions and a loving supportive charming nurturing frequency and she doesnt cherish/value who I really am... now I see she values only what she can take from me not what I spiritually give her and our love which is alot. Crying so hard right now and you are helping sooo much thank you dear one ♡

[@Margarita.Nazarenko]

I hear you and I value what you said. you hold your potential and value. head up

[@eveheart2876]

Message is amazing

[@davesmith826]

I recently ended a relationship with a woman for the same reason. Mercifully, it was not a marriage and it didn't last more than a year, but it was still very painful to cut her out of my life. Within a week of me ending things, she'd uploaded a new profile picture on WhatsApp of her and another man. Believe me, I gave her no cause for this and I'm not saying it to worry you. I'm saying it because it made me realise something I never had in over 25 years of dating: you take out of relationships what you put in, which means if you invest your heart and soul you will lose pieces of both, in the short term at least, when the curtains close. If you invest very little, you'll find it easier to move on. Many people realise this early in life and coast through relationships without a care in the world. It would be tempting to think that they've got the key to happiness, but what you really need is someone (as stated in this video) who matches your values and energy and will strengthen them, not someone who will drain the life and soul out of you. When the time comes and you get back on the dating market, setting boundaries from the outset is key and ending things the MINUTE those boundaries are crossed is essential. Being more reserved for the first few months is another must. Resist the temptation, natural though it may be, to fall in love with someone until they've earned it. You are quite literally auditioning a partner, not giving them your heart and soul, and until they've passed that audition you should not give them your heart and soul. Your mental and physical health comes first, your friends second, your career third, and your partner your fourth - at least initially. If you're a hopeless romantic that order can quickly reverse, but you simply cannot let it for the reason mentioned above - the more you invest into a partner, the deeper the hole out of which you will have to climb if or when things come to an end. Don't even start digging until you've found a keeper. Good luck.

[@paulanderson2963]

I sadly can relate brother. My tears are still flowing right now from a conversation my still wife but soon to be ex and I just had. Are they good for us and do we like who they are and how they treat us are questions we need to ask ourselves on a regular. You and I both know we would not want to be harming the person we love so why is it okay for us to allow them to do it?

[@davesmith826]

@@paulanderson2963 It isn't. Your priorities in life should be: 1) your mental and physical health, 2) your friends and family, 3) your career, and 4) your partner - in that order. A devious woman will try to reverse that order to put her at the top of the list. Do not let her. My advice, for what it's worth: begin focusing on 1-3 as you move towards a separation. Give yourself the social network required to soften the forthcoming blow, which will be hard but a lot less hard if you've got the support structures in place. Women have been doing this for over a century. Men have been working themselves into the ground, neglecting their friends and family, and relying on partners instead. This creates an emotional power imbalance that leaves you at an inherent disadvantage. The only way to correct it is to put more of your energy and soul into yourself and the people around you - the people you'll have when she leaves. Exercise, eat well, drink less, lay down a plan of action for what you want to achieve in your life and career and begin making small steps towards it. This is better than a clean break out of the blue that will leave you with nothing and no one to turn to. Take it from a man who just finished his eleventh serious relationship!

[@tiblanes]

I need to watch this everyday for the rest of my life.

[@tracyf1054]

Your videos are amazing. I cried a river for an idiot for five days. They are SO not worth it. Now they are calling me multiple times a day and I’m not feeling it. I don’t know how but I’ve left the building. Happy and much lighter.

[@user-tw8rq6ej3c]

These are such powerful words. All women need to hear what Margarita said. My mother told me don't ask am I good enough for him, but ask is he good enough for me. You must learn to value youself and work on having strong boundaries in this tough world.

[@krystalgardiner5591]

I know you hear this a lot.. but THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! It makes sense to me now. And what you said how you begin to match what they think of you.. so true. I stopped taking care of myself, BADLY. I aged so much in 2 years it was insane. Don’t let these men dictate your self worth ladies bc they will make you feel worthless.

[@EadsB7002]

exactly! it's time we de-centered men/relationships and put the focus on having a good life for OURSELVES! if someone worthy shows up, great... if not, that's fine too! The key is taking another off the pedestal in OUR reality!

[@samkc3423]

Oh my god. I thought I’m the one who wrote this. I’m in the exact same situation. Put on so much weight and also aged (almost 3 years for me) Then made to feel I’m ugly. Trying to love myself again

[@gogirlla]

Never let the external like people or objects be more valuable than yourself. Our life is only as good as WE make it and everything is just a reflection of our inner world being pointed back at us, great video!

[@Margarita.Nazarenko]

Well said!

[@bplovelove3119]

The person you get attached to or want to romantically pursue is not always a reflection of you. If you're someone that likes to chase handsome charming bad guys that like to manipulate, it means you grew up in that type of relationship in your past, and you may have low self esteem. And it's easier to say value yourself, but what are you valuing if you have nothing to value about yourself? When life was okay, and I had a boyfriend, I didn't care about valuing myself other than my boyfriend. But once we split and I was healing and living on my own, had a stable job, my physical health was awful, because of my physical health, I learn to value myself more.

[@Laideymuchacho]

My bestfriend recommended this yesterday cannot stop watching

[@LeeChrissy]

This is brilliant. What stood out the most was the comment about essentially by devaluing yourself to make it work with this man, it shows everywhere else. In looks, in your work and you become this. I love that and it's absolutely true. Wow. Everytime my on and off again avoidant who was one of my best friends for many years before we started dating would try again, it feels really great at the beginning until I'm reminded how my emotional needs aren't getting met. All of the sudden sales drop at my business, I sit in awful anxiety which sometimes leads to hair fall and I just look older and worn out. Whenever we split, I'm back to the gym, my business flourishes and I start looking more radiant. I really love and care about him, but this says a LOT.

[@annielankford7529]

You absolutely blow me away!! I dont think anyone could explain this to me in such a clear form as you have done here today. You are absolutely amazing and %1000 right! Ture freedom from controlling others. Worry about yourself and if you want to tolerate it then accept them for who they are 🙌 own it

[@NatalieZii]

I’ve been in therapy for 2 years now, reading a ton of self-development and psychology, watching a lot of therapists and life coaches, as well as affirmation videos, and your videos and the way you phrase things have helped my self-confidence more than anything. I truly have to thank you. The not letting other people be your measuring stick concept really clicked a light on for me. The past couple weeks when I find myself going into a dark low self-worth hole, I ask myself: Am I living by my values? Am I working towards my goals at a reasonable pace? Am I hurting or disrespecting anyone? Are these other people I’m scared of disliking me on my path? And I basically decide to be my own measuring stick. It shouldn’t be so revolutionary but for me it is 😭 💕.

[@Lilly-pb5rx]

I'm really starting to believe I should consider and go through with learning detachment. All my life I've been filled with pain and anxiety. These past 2 weeks have been so overwhelming and when I get emotionally stressed, I get physically sick. So now I have the flu and multiple mouth sores. This always happens when I get into a deep emotional stress. It's exhausting to hurt myself mentally and for it to manifest into the physical. Im so over worrying and trying to have a semblance of control on things I don't. It's so exhausting. Im so glad I found a strong woman like Margarita. Time to just let go.

[@j.jgodismyprotection4296]

Let Go dear!! Please Let go!! Of what ever it is!! Let it go. It's not worth your peace! It's not worth your Health! Trust me, you are going to be ok. Just make up in your mind to let go. ❤🙏

[@Blurbbox]

Come from a position of power in your choices. Eyes wide open. Know what you are signing on for. Stay in your power and don’t be a victim. Write the story of your life.

[@idontevenknow2578]

If they don't see value in you, they are not for you. Let them go. ♡

[@ineedtounwind999]

I love what you said about being in the role of the judge instead of the auditionee. "This is the life that this person has chosen for themselves. How does it suit me? Are they the type of partner I want?" You're absolutely right, a man's behavior says NOTHING about my value. It's his reality.

[@stevieberisha561]

Honestly I’m a guy and I’ve started putting everything you’ve said into action and people have started respecting me a lot more I can see it Thankyou x

[@doll729]

This video is EVERYTHING I needed to hear this morning. It sheds so much light on the relationships we choose to have romantic or not. I have completely detached from people that didn't serve properly in my life and it was the most amazing thing I've ever done. I have so much more peace in my life now. Trying to change people and their actions sometimes goes against your moral compass and that's why you stress so much over it. Let okay and the block button be your best friend, heal and truly move on to the life that you truly seek for yourself!!

[@Yahookudi]

Thank you Margarita for this video. I'm going through this exact experience and its me being attached and putting my energy into a guy who isn't attached like I am and treating me as an option. I don't actually like him or even respect him but I've put my self worth into him and feel like I have to obtain him in order to feel good about myself or worthy. It's a toxic trap when I realize this guy isn't even on my level - in looks, success, character, financial status etc. I am removing myself from this situation completely and know I'll gain my sense of self worth back. It's sooo true my brain is decreasing my worth in my brain to match the actions that I am willing to entertain and accept. Now, that I am no longer going to entertain or engage with this toxic behavior, I know my worth will rise again.

[@meghan3835]

Yasss queen. Come on do it ❤

[@AorlaC]

Please keep covering detachment, it is so helpful for us anxious types 🙏💗💗💗

[@ImaniAshman]

I recently ended things with my boyfriend because he was flirting with other women publicly, had horrible communication, and he did not make any time for me. When I stepped out of the relationship, I realized how much I let it consume me. I was not studying anymore, did not feel like eating as much and I was so nasty to those around me. I was never truly happy because I knew deep down he was not the one for me, but I had to make it work. I had to change who he was and change how he treated me. Watching this video helped me realize, I didn't even like him as a person. I am thankful that I finally had the strength to leave and focus on myself.

[@PBandH]

I can see that God uses you to help others, Margarita. You are such a gift to KZbin!! Please keep making videos. I will detach. 🥰

[@Margarita.Nazarenko]

Thank you so much!

[@gutterpeach]

God has nothing to do with it.

[@shinysphinx8849]

@@gutterpeachgirl stfu. The creator of the video didn’t take issue with this comment so why tf do you? Calm down bitter r/atheism Redditor

[@shivanipardeshi3114]

My first rule or boundaries is if we give our time, effort, care, love anything to someone but they don't value you just leave theme don't matter how much you love once you feel unwanted theme... Just leave... Respect your self...

[@DebbieL72]

This is so well said. Time to be the Simon Cowell of my own life. ❤

[@sesvaoffice8331]

This is relevant with family too. I can't believe it would ever have come to that but I have recently detached from my son. The veil dropped for me - that his reality and my position in it is not the reality I want for myself. and yes, my brain was rationalising my status of me to his. very painful to come to accept the realisation of this. now the path forward. so glad i stumbled across this video to validate my thoughts, feelings and action.

[@davidbridge2118]

This is the best relationship/dating/co-dependency advice video I have ever seen. It took me over a decade to fully realize these things, and you said it in a concise video. This message is so key. When you've lived your life being abused, gaslighted, etc. throughout your childhood, it's very hard to see all this, because you are conditioned to self-devaluing- behaviors, coping mechanisms, & perspectives. The validation makes you feel safe, loved, and so much of what you were always trying to get, and the self-valuing of yourself is distracted/seemingly cancelled by fear of loneliness. People often aren't used to making themselves feel good with those self-affirmations and choices. (We're often told that's selfish, conceited, etc.) But when done right, the framing of your thoughts on all levels, your actions being viewed by your subconscious, and the way you condition yourself, is lifesaving.

[@ahmetoz9643]

Thanks for always pointing out „if you are a man watching this…“ because I feel like many men also suffer from this. In my last relationship I lost all value for myself and made it all about her. Her perception of me dictated my self-perception; it was horrible. But it taught me to be myself, listen to my feelings and thoughts, and that her perception of me doesn‘t say anything about my value. Needed to learn it the hard way but glad I did. Thanks for the video! Always practice self-love guys ❤

[@chilloften]

I can easily detach from people, but not workplaces. So I love what you said about don’t accept role of victim. I need that part discussed way more. Every workplace is toxic to me, I prefer to not be in the trenches, but have yet to figure out my way out of that.

[@overkillblackjack2910]

I too had very hard times at work (and elsewhere!). I am discovering I have unresolved childhood trauma. Yes, my workplaces were often toxic, but I am really, really sensitive...I applied for disability after finding a good lawyer, and we won. I now work part-time at low-key job settings

[@chilloften]

@@overkillblackjack2910 I recognize toxic straight away at this point. And because I want to exist I am hated. I see it everywhere and it wins out with management. I could take the road you have but I’m certain it’s be less than $1000/month.

[@overkillblackjack2910]

@@chilloften with a part-time job I am looking at roughly $1700 per month. Also, if I may suggest: don't avoid looking at your responsibility. Yes, they are toxic, but what part do you play? Over-sensitive? The following is a great quote, and it stings a bit: ""If I am not the problem, then there is no solution." Recovery and therapy are teaching me to keep MY side of the street as clean as possible without pointing too much at how dirty their side is. Indeed, this is easier said than done, but progress can be slowly made with support.

[@harleydarling30]

I will listen to this every day until I am healed. I need to remember who the hell I am. Thank you, goddess

[@leonym2214]

This video is so valuable. I have just ended a relationship because he cheated on me. Despite this betrayal it was really hard to go through with the decision because I had so much invested in the relationship and because I truly loved him (maybe still do unfortunately). It's really hard for me to let go of him, but this video says it so well. His actions don't match the value I want to give to myself. This will be a tough battle for me ahead, cutting all ties, but it is so necssary. Thank you for this video!

[@obengjemima6477]

I’m so sorry,it is well❤

[@karanfilable]

Right after my breakup a month ago, the first video was yours (not this one) which resonated with me so much. As a man with anxious attachment , I usually get codependent in relationships and get into such situations as you describe. The problem is that we are not aware of our self worth , can't connect to myself. Feel like I have childhood wounds, wrong beliefs , fears etc. Work needs to be done.. thanks, sending love❤

[@milicadj4059]

I am literally crying. Everything you said resonates so deeply.

[@LittleCuteFlower]

Couldn't be said better. You don't have to suffer in your relationship. You don't have to tolerate him watching virtual women, him not respecting you the way you deserve. You live only once, love yourself and seek people who treat you the way you want to be treated

[@obengjemima6477]

You have helped me so much with that phrase “and don’t let that break you”.I’ve held on this tightly and will never let myself feel so small ever again🥰

[@JodyDube]

Detachment - essential to healthy choices.

[@pattiemarin5219]

What’s funny is most people stay in bad relationships because of what others might think if they were to leave, but the worst thoughts others held of you were those they held when you were in those types of relationships. When you leave, people admire you more (I’ve come to notice). In other words, you gain more value because bad relationships are OBVIOUS to everyone around you; others sense them. So, live your wonderful life utterly loving YOU. ❤ Thank you for this lovely video!

[@GoWithDaFlowMo]

You just said more truths in one video than anyone else in dozens of videos... Thank you, you truly know what you're talking about... Spot on..... ❤

[@Pink-belle]

I understand that when you are so GIVING and self less, you tend to attract these kinda ppl who just take away everything from you just to make you realise that YOU really do matter than anybody else.

[@AmazedRay]

This 100% I love having found this channel. As a man I have been suffering from attachment and insecurity but I’ve been trying my best to be better to myself! But the hardest part of detaching and being loyal to myself is how the person you are attached too, feels so good in the moment and that moment is the excuse to come back!

[@fhjfhdgh]

The role of the judge vs the role of the auditionee is a veeery good analogy, thank you for that

[@kristinaschewenius6615]

Just found you, so happy I did! I needed this so badly! Thank you for being here!

[@ezgiegrikaya5497]

this video couldn't have been uploaded in a better time. i really needed to hear this, bc i've been questioning things about this topic with my current relationship the whole time. u r so right ab everything u said. i can't thank you enough for this video!!❤

[@1chadmon]

Thank you so much. It’s so difficult when you’re in the thick of these relationships, but in retrospect this is spot on. I have so many regrets because I’ve wasted so much time suffering in relationships, feasting on scraps.

[@user-lg5xb6rz7c]

I cannot stress enough how powerful and helpful your videos are. You’re my most precious followed account on here and I follow quite a few. Keep up the amazing job that you do, because what you do genuinely has got a huge impact on a lot of people, I’m certain it’s not just me. Thank you!

[@konfettibaby9676]

This just hitted my soul... I'm so glad I found tour channel. I really needed to hear this. Lots of love to everyone! You are so so worthy!

[@kirstyneagle2180]

Margarita, I absolute love your podcast and your KZbin videos. This vid is no exception, this is amazing advice, the analogies you use really help to reframe situations in the mind (to then hopefully manifest into reality). I can’t thank you enough for keeping me accountable, and reminding me to always ask myself ‘what would my higher self do in this situation?’ as well as cultivating compassion for my past self who didn’t know better. We must stick to the course of healing even after a horrible relationship has ended because ultimately, it is about attaining and maintaining the healthiest version of the relationship with oneself. You’re a true blessing, so grateful for all the wisdom you share xox

[@suziandchopstix]

as always, I needed to hear this thank you for explaining this, I feel we are not taught this enough or are afraid to step out of our comfort zone.

[@ecommerce9687]

WOW!!! I see what I’ve been missing!!! It’s just amazing how much we take ourselves for granted until someone (YOU), flips the realty switch on and everything, every thought falls into place!!! Detach! This makes so much sense to me! This week I’ve been gradually detaching from toxic energies surrounding me and it feels fantastic. Thank you!!! Confirmation ❤ you are valued🎉

[@ashleighflowers9728]

I’m crying as I watch this. Simple, yet profound. Thank you ❤

[@drmekroudhala2652]

Margarita you and your podcast your ytube videos are the best thing i found during the self development journey i've been going through for years!! Finally someone who treats every side of the problem in a very clear, quiet and strong way , much of love and support ❤️ thanks for everything you do

[@mairab7891]

Margarita is that auntie I wish I had, she tells it how it is and how you need to hear it. Thank you girl, I feel empowered each time I watch one of your videos. Thank you !

[@elizabethalonso6072]

I listened to this video 3 times in a row. Your words are backed up by the pillars of conviction and truth, both providing unshakeable guidance through the path of dark doubt and uncertainty. Thank you so much for this video

[@jenniferadriana5934]

This is how I started thinking… to hear it from you is so empowering. Your deliverance is amazing!! Thank you for sharing

[@anastasiarose3800]

This was so helpful, and can be applied to other types of relationships/interactions as well. I'm lucky to have a wonderful husband and circle of good friends, but there are other people I'm starting to prune out of my life because they don't treat me with respect (and haven't for a long time). This video was very timely and gave me a lot of clarity, I subscribed a few minutes in. You are so lucid, it's refreshing to hear someone speak so clearly on the subject of healthy detachment. I look forward to watching more of your videos!

[@NN-zy3oy]

Your videos always always help me realize my worth. Currently going through a breakup. I unfortunately sent him a 20 mins read letting him know all the problems in the relationship and how I did so much for him for him to give me nothing in return. Haven’t heard back from him when I sent it. But this video really just keeps reminding me that he has his choice. And I have mine. Our wants and needs did not align and I will have to accept it. I have to focus on my self first and become independent finally. Just thank you. It’s hard to describe how I’m feeling really but your videos do keep me pushing 😔

[@malindateal14]

Thank you so much. You have no idea how much I needed to hear this. I’ve been doing it all my life and it’s time to cut it loose. I need to be my best friend. Thank you.

[@anettfkt]

I want you to know Margarita, that your words came to me in the exact moment I needed them. From all my heart, thank you.

[@aylinaldg]

I started watching your videos and each time it gives me a little more hope and self-confidence. It's me and my reality and I'm a person of value ❤

[@bloomfields6182]

I’ve been putting off listening to this one bc I knew what you’d say and I wasn’t ready to hear it, I guess. Well, today was the perfect time for me to listen and WOW … I’m absolutely ready to take my power back. Listening to this on repeat to let it sink in. Thank you ever so much💕

[@uptone12111]

I truly hope this channel blows up as there are so many people can benefit from it.Thank you~!

[@MandyJRoss]

Focus on you and the focus becomes you.♥️

[@Margarita.Nazarenko]

Wow love this

[@ashleybarrett6302]

I needed this! More so for friendship and work things. I know I’ve been doing WAY more to pour into someone and I was doing exactly this putting this girl on a pedestal because of all her accolades, and realizing I’ve been not standing in my value .. sometimes I felt like damn will I find powerful successful women friends again ? And now I’m like wait I am a successful woman, and there are MANY OF US!!!

[@kickrocks71]

I discovered your videos recently… at the right time of both my overall journey, and what I’m dealing with right at this moment. Thank you. I appreciate your straightforwardness, and what I interpret as genuine care for your audience. I feel empowered after watching your videos. You share with us wise words. Thank you a million!

[@joemorales643]

Wow, this is my favorite of you thus far. So many words of wisdom dropped in this video. Constant mic drops happening and I'm here for it!

[@m2cx551]

As a life coach myself this woman is truly a boss. I love her delivery her confidence and her messages 👏🏽 spot on as always

[@elisalizardo9826]

Simon Cowell would not accept any less and neither should I. 🙏 Thank you margarita for your beautiful mind and perspective on life.

[@josesavard8090]

This! This is totally what I needed to hear and it's actually helped me set myself straight. Thank you for all your wonderful content ❤️

[@Kateunitedkingdom2923]

This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you so much, so well said! ❤

[@tristamarie7115]

Loved the concept about your mind and your reality will line up. Keep our standards/vision/goals/what we want in a relationship high!

[@Rachel.Nicole]

I needed this more than you know. I think about your advice daily. Thank you. ❤

[@DonnaDonna2023]

Really needed to hear this and not from a romantic relationship but from family dynamics - Thank you! X

[@allaboutent6207]

Your words are magic. God has given you the power to influence others. I don't appreciate people much .. But the way you deliver your thoughts are just amazing.

[@Margarita.Nazarenko]

Wow, thank you

[@MissTerry57]

Thank you again. You are so right. Detachment is the key. ❤

[@kellycrazie8589]

Your vids are so helpful! You can explain things so well. I can’t really watch the „how to manipulate“ stuff, but these other vids on value and attachment are soooo goooood ❤️😊

[@shelliarmstrong35]

Thank you, I’ve searched all over KZbin self improving and you have got through to me better than anyone. I appreciate you!

[@agentin00katz14]

Thank you so deeply much, your perspective is helping me in the biggest crisis of my life. My stepmother died last christmas from cancer while my father chose to react with getting back to drink himself unconsciuos. Last thing my step mother did in her life is arranging an appointment at rehab for my father and asked me to bring him there. I did, 2 days later she died. I supported my father the following weeks so much, tried my very best, arranged the funeral by myself while he was in rehab. Even quit my apartment to move in his apartment so that he won't be alone when he comes back. Days later I found him dead in his apartment, he got out of rehab without telling me, he drank himself to death. Knowing I'm the only person having the key to his apartment. So, absolute hell broke lose for me. Instead of grieving for one loved person, I had to realise I lost two persons. I have no siblings so I had to arrange a double funeral all by myself. And my partner didn't even came to the funeral, he said "it would traumatize him more". Weeks and months went by, I had to organize everything my parents left. Then my partner said, he wants a pause from me because we would fight too much, but he wants to start all over again 4 weeks from now. Then a friend of me died. I was in despair, I couldn't believe it. So much loss within 5 months. In the pause my partner wanted I freaked out, I didn't unterstand and contacted him to get answers. I told him I would pay for partner therapy. End of the story: we met again weeks later, he told me he loves me but I deserve better. And I should work on myself because I'm projecting the loss of my father on him. Then cried, I should forgive him, he can sacrifice himself to have a friendship with me. 4 more weeks of lose contact, trying to digest the closest person in my life while still being not able to digest the trauma of finding my dead father. Will take my things from my ex's apartment this week and then quit contact, become dettached finally. Hardest emotional challenge to become dettached from my father who broke my heart and at the same time becoming dettached from a partner who showed his real face in the worst time of my life. So thank you again deeply for your perspectives 🙏

[@johnconnor3865]

Your partner pulled away from you at a time when you needed him the most. He sounds very self centered, losing him may be the silver lining to this dark cloud. It's time for you now, go and be.

[@agentin00katz14]

​@@johnconnor3865Thank you for taking your time and empathy to read my long text and even reply. What you say is the harsh truth I am slowly accepting. The silver lightning in the dark clouds is a good metaphor. Wish you all the best.

[@toxic-freearmy8949]

"He doesn't match the value I've given to myself."

[@mrscandicebell]

I really like how you explain things firmly but not harsh. And very practical. Thank you for this video 🙏🏾🙏🏾