Domino's Tests Limits Of What Humans Will Eat

Despite ethical concerns about testing on humans, researchers say their work was necessary to determine the boundary between garbage and food.
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[@KyrieServing]

The fact that dominos literally just released cheeseburger and taco pizzas makes this even more incredible

[@TileBitan]

@@irgendeinname9256 its a disease and its spreading to my country too. I refuse to buy these monstruosities, last time (and only time) i went to Papa Johns i got sick from the amount of fat and oil dogshit they use

[@pasofino2199]

@@TileBitan where you from?

[@TileBitan]

@@pasofino2199 spain

[@pasofino2199]

@@TileBitan yeah papa johns taste like cardboard I eat the peppers to mask the taste. Saludos de 🇲🇽

[@TileBitan]

@@pasofino2199 yeah thats exactly how it feels. Good thing is that these pizzas made me research a bit and now i can prepare the neapolitan style homemade with a bit of time. I really like good food its a shame i cant taste it all haha, cheers m8

[@olsonusmaximus]

"The equivalent of five Americans died in Afghanistan today." Fucking got me

[@salimmazid9948]

So what's the exchange rate these days?

[@davidkhrystenko]

@@salimmazid9948 I believe it's 13 Afghans to 1 American

[@ghalibouchama6141]

@@davidkhrystenko yep. Spot on

[@somerandomknucklesinatank1491]

@@davidkhrystenko no, it's 13 North Koreans to 1 American. 1 American is 5 Afghanis.

[@baconwizard]

@@somerandomknucklesinatank1491 easy misconception

[@Hunteresting.]

The subtle touch that I loved was when the scientist was cut off, but had kept talking and it was edited down. News stations do that all the time, it's such a well done video.

[@Thanasis_Koligliatis]

At 0:38 1:15

[@ceilinglight1413]

But this is actual news tho

[@maazkalim]

Ouch! Way too prejudicial conclusion, "@@ichijofestival2576".

[@zathary564]

I always thought that looked cinematic. Never realised they might be telling important stuff.

[@miazga3]

definately !

[@yourhumbledissenter]

0:56 i love how this implies they somehow made it healthier by combining the less healthy foods together.

[@liamdonegan9042]

came to comment this exact same thing lol

[@ralanham76]

Eventually you'll find nutrients somewhere to live

[@m4nman]

There’s a vegetable in there somewhere

[@TheRecklessBravery]

@@m4nmansomewhere

[@YuckFouTubeX]

Of course! Twice the pizza, twice the healthy tomato *Points towards head like "fake Eddie Murphy" meme*

[@PRIVACYISAZOMBIE]

I always thought newspapers should include an ethnicity exchange table so you can check how much you are supposed to care about disasters.

[@ladenbinosama7534]

I'm just gonna randomly bring ur attention to this comment after 6 years

[@PRIVACYISAZOMBIE]

@@ladenbinosama7534 appreciated

[@someanimal3506]

2 Black (American) -> 1 White 3 Asian (except Japanese) -> 1 White 4 Arab -> 1 Asian 2 Indian-> 1 Asian 3 Hispanic -> 1 White 10 Black (African) -> 1 White 100 Americans -> nobody gives a fuck

[@swxgfxg9940]

@Some Animal we all know that based on history it’s 5 African Americans. -> 3 Whites

[@adityaverma1150]

@@CC-hx8gj 1 Dog - More than all of humanity combined

[@yashaskedlaya7326]

"the equivalent of 5 Americans" holy crap did Afghanistan get nuked?

[@yessitsme6884]

This comment has aged well

[@tommeng6522]

@@yessitsme6884 ri[

[@blonker5630]

Comment aged like fine wine

[@studiousboy644]

Didn't age well.

[@theeraphatsunthornwit6266]

I just get it. This joke is so dark

[@GlamorousTitanic21]

This video aged like fine wine. The Onion archive should be reopened as a tasting cellar.

[@hawktalon7890]

Yeah, it's crazy how this video is just as relevant a decade and a half later. 😂

[@spudd_0]

1:08 they predicted pink sauce

[@egghamsil]

cant believe my comment wasnt original

[@SantaDog81]

Cheese and sauce consuming beasts...

[@Chronically_ChiII]

She nearly smiled as well.

[@rayakoth]

Need more bravado :D

[@civotamuaz5781]

Truly words to live by

[@HarshRajAlwaysfree]

you summoned me?

[@AndrewGunner]

@@Chronically_ChiII it was for a fraction of a second but I saw it, you're right.

[@cheesychi8317]

"it looks like something no animal should consume much less a human." The way he said that with a dead straight face. I'm dying

[@chaun24wiggins62]

Hell yeah that shit was funny asf

[@TimeSurfer206]

Yes. For him to deadpan this is the sign of a Master.

[@docwillis1443]

Yeah, seriously I tried to say that with a straight face like 20 times and I was unable to.

[@Raison_d-etre]

Obligatory rejoinder that humans are animals.

[@th30maxim]

the camera is not on his face while he said it??

[@daruru42069]

The onion did it again, they predicted pink sauce was gonna happen.

[@ChristopherWallbank-di9hj]

Pink sauce that's just strawberries and cream isn't it?

[@Dou2_]

Not strawberry but dragon fruit ​@@ChristopherWallbank-di9hj

[@egghamsil]

​@@ChristopherWallbank-di9hj it's too pink. looks like food dye

[@ChristopherWallbank-di9hj]

@@egghamsil i know, I was thinking like the idiots out there, I grew up initially on 20 acres and our last family farm was 1000 acres which my parents bought for $250000 and sold for a million after all our work, funny thing is looking at it on satellite since parents sold it the new owners removed the established raised gardens, the orchards and everything we worked for to grow biodynamic/regenerative farming produce

[@alicetheegreet]

It's Pepto bismol. 😷 @ChristopherWallbank-di9hj

[@reaperraider999]

14 Years later and this still applies, how that corporation tricks people is beyond my understanding

[@ronvlaarsvar6867]

No trickery involved. The cheese and sauce loving beasts shovel it into their guts willingly

[@johnr797]

I think it was pizza hut that just recently released the pizza flipped over on top of another pizza. Not a calzone, just two pizzas.

[@reaperraider999]

@@johnr797 Wtf😂

[@matthew8153]

People actually think that just because the FDA hasn’t shut Domino’s down that their food is edible.

[@leafbranch1872]

You need an MBA.

[@Shutupb1tch420]

"Would eat any object covered in melted cheese" I thought the Onion made fake news stories

[@warpath6666]

Americans would eat a deep fried dog turd as long as they could cover it in ranch dressing 😄🤣😜🤪

[@hiimryan2388]

@@warpath6666 sir your hair have seen better days than the food you described

[@warpath6666]

@@hiimryan2388 Good luck with that comrade :D

[@ozmond]

Shut up literally everyone makes this joke on everything the onion posts ever. “I thought the onion was satire” or “when did the onion start reporting real news” like stfu

[@superdupersomething]

@@ozmond the minute people stop saying that is the day that americans will stop living rent free in European's heads

[@baroquerookbr3214]

Taco Bell: "Stunning. Breathtaking. Take notes take notes!"

[@JakeTheSnake358]

Pizza taco, I think that’s called a calzone.

[@pnx0223]

So damn true lmaoo

[@mikebar42]

Bubble tea pizza 🍕

[@AdvancedSquadLeader]

I ate at Taco Bell once when I was in Minneapolis. Never again :D

[@mikebar42]

@@AdvancedSquadLeader just get a taco. The rest makes u poop and they got rid of the Mexican pizza... :(

[@sppsports2449]

Cheese and sauce consuming beasts is the most accurate way to describe retail consumers.

[@EmRePhoto]

The description of that Oreo pizza made me actually laugh so hard I cried… the frosting aka a “wax-like substance”

[@jrodrig2013]

The video was made as a reaction to the Oreo pizza, that's why it's the only one they don't directly name.

[@BobGymlan]

Cheese and sauce consuming beasts.

[@mikescan7050]

That’s me

[@benjaminrunning6961]

Love your channel! odd seeing you here.

[@cannoncorley581]

Me irl

[@jessicadruner1178]

Big foot isn’t real

[@Stoney-Jacksman]

@@jessicadruner1178 Yes it is. Satire exaggerates truth a bit but the centre focus of the satire is the truth. In this its that many Americans eat shitty domino food, and whatever they serve they will eat. So stop being an idiot please.

[@whitiscool1]

instead of ads and trailers before movies start in theaters, they should play the onion videos

[@jasonbourne6365]

Omar Little Agree

[@quackmcduck6646]

I fully support this idea

[@spyrosdeloglou8970]

Mass hysteria!

[@christosvoskresye]

Of course, this piece would actually make people want to order Domino's.

[@Douken]

I’ll pitch in lol

[@JohnSmith-ti9uq]

Papa Johns released a small box of basically just toppings and cheese. Without the bread it is basically a greasy slop. They literally found a way to sell their leftover toppings and people buy it

[@randyearles9286]

as always the Onion is years ahead of reality.

[@FootyFC386]

For the people asking if this is real: The Onion are known for their credibility

[@Amyante]

It's getting harder to tell each day, to be honest...

[@Brandon-mq5vi]

@@markopolo6975 Don't start this war here 👀

[@Vengeance117]

@@Brandon-mq5vi CNN is fake news

[@Brandon-mq5vi]

@@Vengeance117 No shit, both are.

[@jonathanshepard1517]

@@Brandon-mq5vi I am only allowed to believe one side of the political spectrum. It's a religious issue. Don't mock my religion. It makes me feel safe.

[@tigertoxins584]

"study disproves long-held theories about human self-preservation instincts"

[@denizmergen418]

...

[@pajamas720]

@@denizmergen418 what a riveting, informative comment. Couldnt have said it better myself.

[@matthew8153]

@@pajamas720He/She/It is so brave.

[@tigertoxins584]

​@@pajamas720the world needs to know

[@migolo1415]

@@matthew8153 just say they 😭

[@ezstudioz7]

1:09 they used the pink sauce!

[@Oscar4u69]

the onion keeps predicting future trends 🤯

[@martincarter6961]

Every time I see a dominos ad, I find myself referring back to this video.

[@kiwi_2_official]

IWBTG FAN SPOTTED IN THE WILD!!!

[@Nejictorr]

"The equivalent of 5 Americans were killed in Afghanistan today" lmaoooo thats so wrong onion.

[@ahyhijooooo]

+Frabjous Beamish hahaha , it's about the weight not the value of their lives , that ego continues to surprise me ..... USA is #1 Talking about obesity.

[@michaelportillo5474]

If you look closely, at 1:29 she almost breaks out of character, faintly smiling. I wonder how many takes that took.

[@wolfpakave5084]

@@michaelportillo5474 I noticed that.

[@Ghekkoo]

Nejictorr that’s almost the same as 1 gay man

[@runcaz7802]

ahyhijooooo: Are you sure? I figured it was a throwback to the 3/5ths human thing.

[@ishquinn5648]

Come on Onion your not supposed to make real news stories.

[@obamahater4205]

i liked but i saw its 420 so i unlike YEET

[@SmashLiXs]

you're

[@explosivemodesonicmauricet1597]

@@SmashLiXs ONN always putting real life facts into comedy.

[@SmashLiXs]

@@explosivemodesonicmauricet1597 all i said was you're

[@simplyexisting1125]

I was about to say the same thing. This isn't fake news.

[@isaactoth7372]

This is so good. these is so much production value

[@Oldbmwr100rs]

Believe it or not,many of the pizzas shown were actually offered by Domino's at one point. Just not the one with twinkies.

[@ladenbinosama7534]

I'm just gonna randomly bring ur attention to this comment after 7 years

[@doubled9645]

@@ladenbinosama7534 .

[@BradyAus]

H

[@sashagallaway7070]

That would be too extreme

[@dogsdreamtoo8427]

@@sashagallaway7070 I literally just watched a Domino's commercial advertising a cheeseburger pizza.

[@osmanyreyes8373]

The onion predicted this. 2019: Dominos introduces boba and honey pizza

[@instagramat_xtacee_money4516]

They also predicted Miley Cyrus downfall

[@dubuyajay9964]

@@instagramat_xtacee_money4516 What happened? She finally pissed off too many ppl?

[@instagramat_xtacee_money4516]

@@dubuyajay9964 lol

[@samshaw7087]

What did they predict? That dominoes has bad pizza? Go on any onion video and someone will be saying the onion predicted the future. Dominoes was bad before and after this video was made, it’s not like a new bad pizza from dominoes is an impossible prediction?

[@osmanyreyes8373]

Sam Shaw no, that dominoes made a boba pizza in South Korea lmaoo

[@zxth]

They predicted pink sauce

[@cheeseymccheeserson5754]

The fact that I would totally eat every single one of those pizzas they listed may mean I need to work on myself

[@Rael0505]

Username checks out

[@miamitten1123]

_”may need to work on myself”_ 😂

[@Rael0505]

This person changed his KZbin username and now I can’t remember what it originally was that made me say “username checks out” 🤣

[@user-zq4bn2hu5y]

​@@Rael0505cheeesymaccheeserson

[@totalweirdo8538]

​@@Rael0505well it works out because for me their name is cheeseymccheeserson5754 which, you know, checks out

[@ellie8272]

I adore the "the equivalent of five Americans" line Not only a good joke, it leads you to question what the actual number would have to be for the average American to care that much. Definitely in the thousands

[@memphisstef3808]

Millions*

[@enzoqueijao]

Considering the reaction to the pandemic, you made an epic subestimation

[@loremipsum1972]

@@enzoqueijao no one cares when someone dies in their own country, it's when they're on foreign soil there's a huge uproar and intense investigations. Governments love to blame each other, especially when it makes themselves look like they care.

[@lostrobotmusic]

My dad always says that one American is worth a million of the Japanese. Really horrible guy all around, by the way.

[@dhdh2918]

On the news? Gotta be a small genocide.

[@KDBBM]

Omg I would love to see the outtakes and bloopers while they filmed this

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

KDBBM The there are none.

[@SillyCatCentral]

Its real why would there be bloopers

[@-invalid-2882]

@⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻ wdym?

[@samuelluce8286]

@⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻ Who’s gonna tell you?

[@conquistadorito]

@⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻ omg its tacoblode

[@FinnishCrystal]

1:07 hoLY SHIT they predicted the *PINK SAUCE*

[@1SeanPG]

I found grit in my Domino's pizza, the dough had obviously been dropped on the floor and then continued to be made.

[@Alexis-ey4kp]

Gross

[@topramen5344]

Love how the scientist becomes desensitized with the human race after the study

[@miamitten1123]

That actually happens.

[@gendoruwo6322]

hard to care for people who really just dont care

[@Joker-no1fz]

humans are a species not a race.

[@agnidas5816]

race. Single race. Thinking otherwise is racist. The answer to what is your race is always human.@@Joker-no1fz

[@yutahkotomi1195]

​@@agnidas5816 Bro doesn't understand terminology

[@garyp911]

"Look at them eating that garbage. It's disgusting." ~Squidward

[@abigbutterstick1780]

I hate Domino's pizza

[@amosdraak3536]

@@abigbutterstick1780 What brand do you like?

[@abigbutterstick1780]

@@amosdraak3536 Dominos and Cameo are my favorite, my comment was just to continue the Squidward quote, with minor paraphrasing.

[@amosdraak3536]

@@abigbutterstick1780 🤦‍♂️ I misunderstood. Alright, I’ll just....

[@amosdraak3536]

@@abigbutterstick1780 Can I get some extra salt?

[@darthjekyll3648]

1:37 well, it was a soldier

[@BLXCO]

I saw that shit too 😭😭😭

[@ArthurMetalHead]

Who else just randomly got this on their recommended 15 years after it came out 😂😂😂

[@talfi]

me

[@joewellfair8238]

"Cheese and sauce consuming beasts". Well now I need to start a band and i know exactly what to call it.

[@sapateirovalentin348]

How about "Deep fried bean seeker" Get on my level *aMatEur*

[@AJ--212]

@@sapateirovalentin348 "Heavily oiled bacon guzzlers"

[@sapateirovalentin348]

@@AJ--212 this name make me want to trhow up congratw

[@brandynhenry7107]

1:25 so the entire country was wiped off the face of the earth?

[@karaflores5092]

Lol

[@OHYS]

Exactly

[@nelswolf]

Wait I thought Afghanistan was worth 12 Americans

[@jimmykeffer7401]

Nel's Wolf, I find your lack of patriotism disturbing

[@benciccarelli6486]

Wiped off the face of the earth 5 times, to be exact

[@totalweirdo8538]

"Mouners unsure how to commemorate victims of memorial collapse"

[@Oscar4u69]

THE ONION PREDICTED THE PINK SAUCE WTF 🤯🤯🤯

[@michaelbread5906]

Pink sauce???

[@markgaydosh4249]

“The equivalent of 5 Americans were killed in Afghanistan today” nearly made me spit out my drink

[@Kyleplaysgames567]

That's like 25 people.

[@olliegoria]

​@@Kyleplaysgames567No, that only converts to about 1.175 Americans

[@Kirbythefat]

That girl has literally the generic news lady voice. It's perfect for this.

[@smfreeze9198]

Almost as if that is why she has the job… no it can’t be.

[@AJ--212]

@@smfreeze9198 couldnt imagine that to be the reason, must be something we aren't seeing

[@supahotfire2527]

@@smfreeze9198 almost as if it's a voice anyone can do the only real qualifications are looks

[@thiebautjoel]

You should look up “honest government ads”

[@studiousboy644]

@EGirl Obama Don't do that.

[@lantempo]

Who else got this recommended after 14 years?

[@flameofmage1099]

"The equivalent of 5 Americans" holy fucking shit lmao

[@issac7787]

Onion news is the best thing ever exist in youtube

[@Interestingworld4567]

Christopher Har V lmao

[@alainsanchez6537]

You posted this comment 6 years ago, how has your life changed? Think about that for a while. Have a great day

[@raptureorbust]

Its good, but zefrank is pretty good too..

[@pyreouss]

Commenting to bring this comment back to your attention

[@razr7r531]

probably

[@ZDson3112]

"He has since come to see the test subjects as cheese and sauce consuming beasts" Chucklechucklechuckle

[@ladenbinosama7534]

I'm randomly going to bring ur attention to this comment after 5 years

[@Nothing-1w3]

@@CARILYNF 2 months ago you reminded a person about reminding another person I'm gonna remind you about that now

[@tdog_9212]

@@Nothing-1w3 6 days ago you decided to remind someone that reminded someone who reminded someone about there comment

[@mdflorida1233]

"Cheese and sauce consuming beasts."

[@beythastar]

This really does sound like news today, especially with that last part about Afghanistan included

[@TimeSurfer206]

"Sorry, I was looking for the Onion. Did I take a wrong turn somewhere? This is just too plausible."

[@pedrolmlkzk]

Onion videos are a matter of time before becoming real

[@TimeSurfer206]

@@pedrolmlkzk Onion videos are proof positive that people are in fact, stupid enough to do the stupidest things possible.

[@potaterjim]

Somehow the Onion managed to stay at _exactly_ the same high caliber of humor throughout its whole run time

[@NotSure109]

During this video.

[@prof.reuniclus21]

@@NotSure109 And every other.

[@NotSure109]

@@prof.reuniclus21 I fucked your mother.

[@itskdog]

You know they're still making the written articles they have for decades?

[@Banana_Fusion]

Nah it peaked at the end with that in other news bit

[@personguyguy]

1:08 is that... is that.. IS THAT PINK SAUCE?????

[@terrykids._.official]

No, NO, *NO* NOOOOOOOOOOOO

[@Draxler01k]

1:10 Dear god… pink sauce pizza

[@lynnzu6343]

Dude at pizza hut they literally just added an option to buy a slice of pizza on another pizza baked together with cheese on top...

[@noxaurum1]

184 pizzas were deeply offended

[@ladenbinosama7534]

I'm just gonna randomly bring ur attention to this comment after 5 years

[@jacockistitsworth9392]

As someone who worked at Dominoes, this is legit.

[@ColoradoStreaming]

My brother worked at Dominos during the jizz-in-sandwich incident. He said it was so hard not to laugh when the manager gave everyone a briefing on it.

[@studiousboy644]

@@ColoradoStreaming wow I'm suprised the incident has such a spot on name.

[@joimumu]

Jacockis so your job description is lap assistant

[@tommiepattonkendrickiii1617]

@@ColoradoStreaming, they're was NO "jizz-in-sandwich" incident... I JUST did the research after seeing your comment. It happened twice, BOTH times was a hoax. I think the hoax happened at Olive Garden as well... McDonald's, KFC, Olive Garden and Dominoes all have had this hoax spread about THAT very thing: "jizz-in-sandwich". It's a decades long hoax. I mean, think about it, how would two guys be able to jerk off into a sandwich and a lady be able to actually taste it and go "oh I know this texture, it's definitely cum". Really think about it. It's NOT doable. It NEVER happened.

[@trigcat3107]

2008, when this video was released was so so much better Wish i could leave my depressed ass and go back in time

[@FBISBESTMAN]

Why am I here 13 years later Also can we talk about that transition from domino's pizza to 5 people died

[@okrajoe]

Great -- now I'm hungry. Thanks a lot.

[@stinksmcgee]

okrajoe I mean, it isn't impossible that this was an advert. Some of those clips actually looked like good pizza.

[@Astralopif]

That inverted pizza though looked delicious

[@Astralopif]

Like a pie or something...

[@ShoulderMonster]

@@Astralopif Giant hotpocket!!

[@bloodfang9820]

@@Astralopif okay, I'm gonna blow your mind right now. Ever heard of Calzone?

[@chelsea4393z]

“We plan to just top the pizzas with actual garbage” OMFGGGG STOP I CSNT 😩😩😩🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@sleepyburr]

0:30 Sir, you have taken the long way around to making a calzone.

[@arandomguywithagreenprofil5075]

1:08 omg they predicted pink sauce

[@schwarzerritter5724]

Dominoes has indestructible boxes so the pizza won't melt through the cardboard. They even advertised how indestructible their boxes are in the 80s.

[@nathaliecoulibaly763]

@Patrick Baptist whatever

[@marcspector8272]

@@nathaliecoulibaly763 EDGE!

[@neighneighthecamel2700]

@Patrick Baptist Can u find me 1 source from a reliable place reporting that dominos puts rat piss and crap in the pizza dough?

[@unliving_ball_of_gas]

@Patrick Baptist You're so edgy, that finally I could cut a domino's pizza box using you.

[@-ABC-]

@@neighneighthecamel2700 it was an incident that happened in 1993 in NYC

[@naveenr3273]

I don't know why it's recommended 12 years later. But Goddamn this should be protected at all costs.

[@intellectual5598]

all of their videos too

[@cookiecastaneda4270]

And their comments. So sad that many legendary videos and comments (not from this channel) turned into KZbin Kids and got erased. We can’t let that happen here

[@TheTyisawesome]

"Pizza's with actual Garbage, which we assume humans will eat too"🤣

[@Oscar4u69]

AND THEY REALLY DO!

[@haharmageddontv6581]

1:09 pink sauce prediction

[@adrianb5028]

THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS LOL

[@defeatSpace]

I lost it at "the equivalent of five Americans were killed in Afganistan today."

[@corruptneedles3384]

Lol

[@DaveyBoi2k]

epic meal time in a nutshell.

[@yenzyhebron5278]

kamtheking

[@chaoticwj1772]

I’m just gonna randomly bring your attention to this come in after six years

[@princejaxisblack8789]

Thanks 6 years ago comment. You unlocked a memory that I completely forgot about, can't believe I forgot about epic meal Time

[@H3gamer360]

The last line still gets me after all these years. It makes you wonder how many people she’s talking about 😂

[@frogdog3600]

"unhealthy foods made from other, even unhealthier foods" reminds me of classic Simpsons writing

[@antikoerper256]

"Worlds first HAT transplant a success" lmao

[@DBDenzz]

Do you remember when you made this comment?

[@chaoticwj1772]

antikoerper256 do yo?

[@ibracadabraasaansj2501]

Are you still alive?

[@antikoerper256]

@@ibracadabraasaansj2501 Are you?

[@lachlan7802]

@@antikoerper256 wtf

[@Biskwyy]

No joke but that Nacho Platter Pizza does look bomb.

[@mulletboater]

You're high? right?

[@talkgb]

5’11

[@toms1613]

You cheese and sauce consuming beast

[@melonsoda4743]

We’ve found the american

[@bradford_shaun_murray]

1:04 hot dog pizza not bad either

[@g1gabytez]

1:10 pink sauce precursor

[@m9david523]

Wrd

[@mud1nabowl]

pink sauce pizza?!? 😮

[@beanmann000]

This is becoming extremely true over time. Every popular chain place keeps stretching the limit of what food is.

[@loserme414]

Call me a cheese and sauce consuming beast, but some of those pizzas actually looked good.

[@jamesbhollingsworth5452]

You’re a cheese and sauce consuming beast.

[@HandledToaster2]

@@jamesbhollingsworth5452 yes daddy

[@jamesbhollingsworth5452]

@@HandledToaster2 And you‘re a degenerate.

[@HandledToaster2]

@@jamesbhollingsworth5452 LOL

[@123495734]

Would ypu eat my rancid rotting smegma?

[@deborahblackvideoediting8697]

I miss these guys so much. So damned funny...with an amazing talent for human observation and tiny details that make all the difference. The Onion and the (old version of) Jump the Shark website used to make me laugh until I cried.

[@purplepotatoes7501]

I like how this can be funny no matter what year it is.

[@17Man]

"infact they paid money for it"💀

[@acceptablywashed3485]

this guy roasted the living hell out of the humans

[@jared4832]

The Onion predicted pink sauce. Neat.

[@timmullen8951]

Isn't their cardboard pizza topped with Oreos & a wax-like coating deeelicious! Humor. Arh! You know The Onion is satire, right?

[@pocketthechipmunk9994]

"The equivalent of five Americans" what is that, 10 people from Michigan or 6 Canadians?

[@Simon-lo7mk]

whats wrong with michigan and canada :(

[@ChuckWood]

wait so michigan isn't in america?

[@khanbw]

@@ChuckWood No, their lives are just valued less

[@zombiekiller7101]

@@ChuckWood never has been *Bang*

[@Koppu1doragon]

@@Simon-lo7mk Michigan has Detroit, need I say more?

[@teaglorious2007]

Dominos: 0:42 Dairy Queen: Are you challenging me?

[@amandusan4821]

2023 here, which pizza mentioned is not yet real? I eat calzone on the regular and had eaten the oreo and cheese burger one...

[@marywong8484]

the pink sauce at 1:08... this aged well

[@avatarwarmech]

They predicted the future 15 years in the making

[@HoneyBadgerVideos]

"the equivalent of 5 Americans" had me dying. Still very funny and relevant.

[@Calthecool]

Anyone watching this who is not from the U.S., this is actually closer to truth than fiction.

[@iananderson4754]

I1i8i8ii1888iii7iiii78ii1ji1j78i8i18uiij8ti8iiiti8ii1ii18y

[@iamsearchingforthefiletmignon]

@@iananderson4754 oh my

[@Wagadobop]

I like how they talk about dominos pizza then it goes straight to "The equivalent of 5 Americans were killed in Afghanistan today."

[@Seantendo]

Gotta be honest, I would absolutely try a sesame chicken pizza.

[@marlenedietrich2468]

"the equivalent of five Americans" killing me

[@SuperlunarNim]

This was the golden age of Onion reporting, these ONN reports were amazing

[@csorfab]

Yeah, since around 2011-2 there's been a marked drop in quality, both in production value and funniness, unfortunately.

[@midnighteclipsed2738]

​@@csorfaba bit hard to make satire nowadays, since the most stupid sht you could think of is becoming reality itself

[@Dr.MorsIcatis]

I'm sad to hear that 10,000 afghans were killed that day

[@1ONEOFONE1]

onion predicted pink sauce 1:10

[@mariabarker2036]

"The equivalent of 5 Americans...." Damn... Savage Satire... Back away slowly, don't make eye contact....

[@KneelB4Bacon]

lol@ "cheese and sauce-consuming beasts."

[@disturbedtomato5163]

Catzilla I strongly agree catzilla from six years ago

[@whenthe9818]

is it bad i looked at the pizzas and said "id eat that"

[@Aroused_mortician]

Yes but you're not alone.

[@Green_Shift]

That “Crispy melt pizza” response seemed awfully cruel to calzones. Granted, just because it has its own name, doesn’t mean that it’s any better if it didn’t.

[@themixedarts]

"In the final stages of the study we planned to just top the pizzas with actual garbage, but judging from our findings people would probably eat those too."

[@ladenbinosama7534]

I'm just gonna randomly bring ur attention to this comment after 7 years

[@FUJIIDEW]

I'm just gonna randomly bring ur attention to this comment after 7 years x2

[@crocodileguy4319]

Yea this guy is dead

[@FUJIIDEW]

@@crocodileguy4319 👉👈👉👈

[@ladenbinosama7534]

@@crocodileguy4319 he was a beautiful soul...