Food Theory: The WORST Crimes of Food Mascots... EXPOSED!

[@AlexTheProWrestler]

The Jolly Green Giant should have the longest sentence if it wasn't for a couple of things. 1) We don't have a cell big enough for him. And 2) We are all dead seeing how he just changed the day night cycle instantly and removed the moon from orbit.

[@LukasSheshene1]

We are doomed

[@samsthebeztatstuff8885]

Maybe h fixed it before it did permanent damage

[@wade_r.]

Prisoner: "So, what are you in for?" Jolly Green Giant: "Oh, I destroyed all of human civilization to make cheese."

[@JuliaPawz]

Prisoner: seems reasonable cheese is love cheese is life

[@SgtSupaman]

Chester Cheetah: "I feel you, man."

[@Sepia_Skittles]

You know, a small felony

[@weidie2moro]

@UTTPisBetterThanDannoCal it's may

[@TheOnionAnimator]

@UTTPisBetterThanDannoCal The heck you doing here? go to the copy of danno inside the void. also wth only 9 comments when theres bots?

[@HumbleWooper]

I'm glad you called out the Cinnamon Toast Crunch squares, I was going to bring it up if you hadn't. Those cheerful little cannibals have weirded me out since I was a kid.

[@Polarsunsets]

@UTTPNewEnglandPatriotsbro what 😭

[@ImANormal_Guy]

@@Polarsunsets stop responding the bots

[@Polarsunsets]

@@ImANormal_Guy mb

[@juliajohnson4080]

I’m glad I’m not the only one put off by their cannibalism. Best cereal, worst commercials

[@IncognitoMan-jd1qk]

SAME DUDE I HADE THE SAME IDEA

[@justalittlebitmentallyunstable]

"Chester Cheetah would be serving the most time in jail" Green Giant: *am I a joke to you?*

[@masedaace5473]

What are the Green Giants crimes?

[@xriban4363]

The thing with the green giant is that they'd have to actually be able to keep him behind bars. When the list of crimes include moving the sun and moon with his bare hand, all I can say is good luck with that.

[@emanuelrojas2]

I believe they mean the most realistic amounts of jail time.

[@ravio5868]

@@masedaace5473 Did you watch the video?

[@Antonio-ys5zd]

​@@xriban4363I say that the charges wouldn't stick because the changes that occur to the planet would only be indirect to the giant's actions

[@Nzcade]

The time that the M&M’s LITERALLY ATE ONE OF THE SPOKESCANDIES

[@Timthetinygoldfish]

The amount of bots here 💀

[@Waffle-TH3_C00L3ST]

THEY EAT THEIR OWN KINDDDD

[@phroggteeth5035]

I mean like- no wonder the orange m&m is terrified all the time

[@locrianphantom3547]

Spokescandies is such a good word.

[@robertalexander4659]

​@OfficerRobGronkowskiUTTPOld News

[@gravynate08]

All the new theorist hosts are doing great and obviously Matpat is a legend but in my personal opinion, Santi is as good as Matpat if not better. He's killing it, straight homicide

[@Pekomamasimp]

Santi oiled up

[@LegendofKal]

I'd say that out of the 4, Santi and Amy give the right kind of energy. Idk what it is about Lee and Tom, but they seem to have a different kind of energy they bring with each episode.

[@demonking3673]

@@LegendofKal Tom is just too unhinged

[@AsiaJohnson-ck3wc]

It will never feel the same again 😢

[@AsiaJohnson-ck3wc]

But I like santi

[@brynncess2228]

"So chetser ceetah is the one who is behind bars the longest" Jolly Green Giant with 4,850,000,005 years in jail: *am i a joke to you*

[@ButterTofu1]

ITS ALL BOTS

[@brynncess2228]

@ButterTofu1 IKKKK I posted this like 2 mins ago 💀

[@cheeseburgermonkey7104]

Counting 8 bots in this reply section

[@katiixxstars]

why are there so many bots💀

[@drippymissouri]

He couldn't fit in a jail cell ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

[@thelivingfaithfulhomeschoo9906]

Santi! Our family has some video ideas: 1. The lie about maraschino cherries. Are they really cherries? 2. Science behind drinking out of glass vs plastic and why glass tastes better 3. Has McDonald’s been lying to us about the Big Mac (or all of their food) and its “freshness” 4. Something about bioengineered food 5. The Maple syrup lie. How companies put additives in maple syrup but it’s not 100% maple (same with honey) 6. Is bug protein really better than animal protein? 7. Why are all of the food mascots evil? 8. Which food mascots would create the best good and evil team? (Thinking along the lines of DC and marvel 😅) 9. 48hour wilderness survival 10. 96hour water fast challenge- do it and then explain the science behind why it’s a benefit We love the videos every week!🎉😊

[@ChickenOnTheNugger]

I would put this on their Redit (I dont think they check the YT comments)

[@melowx1361]

Yep 4,850,000,005 years is a reasonable sentence 😂

[@MovieFan1912]

Or as GoAnimate would call it, a slap on the wrist.

[@gracesong4499]

Yeah well that's what happens when you take a bite out of the moon😂

[@itscaterang]

yes

[@user-s8gma48zzl34]

Cheese 🧀 🫕 🍕

[@SonicTheBlueFastBoi]

The Noid irl: Hehe I steal The Noid in Family Guy: Hehe I ste- *Gets killed*

[@Danniesaurus2]

Maybe it's the noise who shouldn't have avoided me

[@NormansWorldMovies]

10

[@puffystrawberrycow]

WHAT THE HECK? Anyways lol

[@masedaace5473]

​@melissadaniel7862 the one Family Guy joke that actually made me laugh.

[@peachychika6998]

Hi

[@AJGuy-ev5jn]

This is actually one of the most fun episodes of food theory in a while, not that matpat wasn’t as good anymore or anything, I just think Santi is really onto something here!!!

[@GodlyDuckk]

Watching about food while eating food, is such a good combination!

[@mstudios33]

Fr

[@rundown132]

what's your BMI

[@p1nksswanv]

@OfficerRobGronkowskiUTTP Who asked?

[@marseille3252]

some of the food you're watching are also eating food! (cannibal M&Ms and Cinnamon Toast Crunch squares lol)

[@weidie2moro]

@UTTPisBetterThanDannoCal body count?

[@lysbethmiranda6585]

I’m so incredibly happy and proud with how Santi has been handling food theory. So excited when a new video is up!! Thank you!!! I needed a video to watch while I ate my lunch😊

[@heartpalette]

Agreed! He's so charismatic!

[@RandomPerson37233]

@UTTPWorldPoliceyou should be in jail for 48000000 years

[@JoelZuo-cp6yv]

0:11 Are we just gonna speed past the fact the red m&m is 6 feet?

[@diegoadriandanielarce2211]

And noid with the ears included over 7'

[@KentoMaruo]

This Food Theory Video seems expandable (please make this into a series)

[@DaxSkrai]

The Noid would 100% be charged for "terroristic activities" and no way he only gets "10+ years" that dude is never getting out.

[@kiracomments-chca2747]

Nah man, he's on death row.

[@hazixweek6461]

BRO I WAS LOOKING FOR A VIDEO WHILE EATING, THANK YOU

[@UriahPlayz8]

SAMMEEEEEEE

[@Chungusthedragon]

same

[@THEMilesMorales]

Same

[@SwissooI]

Bots are so annoying

[@Yeeboot19]

😏

[@CN_2992]

12:38 Actually he could face criminal charges and/or fines if,he doesn’t have the proper permits to demolish a chunk of his house. If you read this please correct this in a short. (This is IF you assumed that he DOES NOT have the permits.)

[@white_out]

These mascots Better Call Saul if they want to get out of this one💀

[@kpp8349]

Just to point out, you CAN be tried twice for the same crime. If the crime breaks both US state and federal laws you can be tried by either or both. So you can be found not guilty in a state trial but then the feds can grab you on the courthouse steps and charge you

[@Liability6000]

How does chester have the most years in prison. THE JOLLY GREEN GIANT OR SOMETHING HAS LIKE 4,850,000,005 GAZILLION YEARS IN PRISON SO. WHAT

[@Gremalin]

Canonically the Rasin Brand mascot is the strongest.

[@Aegistab]

Because it’s the literal sun?

[@Gontooo]

Who asked + I just farted

[@Yeeboot19]

Bagel

[@jackrivard6668]

Battle iq has to be nuts

[@Arutax]

9:31 . . . . Yeah, we really need a law prohibiting the usage of bad puns. Still a fun prosecution though.

[@Jupitxrz101]

10:11 The collector from toh: 👁️👄👁️ Nearly everyone on BFB: 😅 But have you heard of moving the earth onto the moon? (BFB reference)

[@Aegistab]

The mascots have some dark secrets

[@teamsteed1]

Yep.

[@ihavenoideawhattomakethis]

4:52 LEMON DEMON REFERENCE “A MASK OF MY OWN FACE, ID WEAR THAT” (sorry I like indie music a little too much)

[@craftersshaft]

as matpat once said, "lemon demon"

[@Darth-Hootius]

SO GLAD SOMEONE ELSE NOTICED THIS

[@jakeazfitness]

11:36 I love little crossover Easter eggs with all these videos now😂😂😂

[@Wowkanye]

The trix rabbit: “I would been eating trix for years if it wasn’t for the gatekeeping children!” The kids: “what?”

[@libbytofach4621]

9:25 that was personal

[@anarchysammichh]

4:45 LEMON DEMON REFERENCE??/?

[@ChronoShadow69]

4:52 Neil Ciceriega immediately started playing in my head. Which is an absolute win!

[@Shabowdiadlo]

Oooh, interesting concept! Can't wait for the bots

[@GrayscaleStudios7]

Fr

[@ertgb_]

All over this comment section already

[@juanelcrack1803]

And there they are...honestly why doesn't youtube do something about it??

[@AlastorFan5900]

@@juanelcrack1803 because then they could have to get rid of all the bots, so instead they give vague "promises" about fixing it while doing nothing so it looks out of their hands.

[@h0m3st4r]

@@AlastorFan5900 Yeah, well, until that does happen, it's up to us to keep reporting them and the accounts they advertise every time they show up. The more people report them, the sooner they get terminated.

[@Zamugustar]

His rank is irrelevant, he has his own ship, the SS Guppy, and any commander of a ship is automatically the Captain.

[@HopperYTRealChannel]

Unfortunately, the punishments usually don't always fit the crime in USA

[@thedinobros1218]

Finally! I have been waiting for some video like this to come out since 2020!

[@DR.NO_ONE]

chester:i'd go to prison the longest jolly green giant with 4,350,000,005 years: tf you mean your in prison the longest

[@Hypercube2017]

1:19 how many burgers could a hamburgler burgle if a hamburgler could burgle burgers.

[@RoTea84848]

It’s funny that when you really think about it mascots break a lot of laws.

[@crow_of_judgment]

"Chexecutioner." Santi, how could you?? 😭😭😭

[@UseCodePearInTheFortniteShopW]

You know its a good day when food theory comes out with a long form video

[@oolexer]

sorry, but this is not long form long form (by food theory standards) is more like 20+ minutes this video is nearly 16 minutes, so i would say it’s a little bit on the longer side, but not long form

[@TSSmith]

15 minutes? Long form? Just wait until this commenter finds out about Miniminuteman and Biliaridon's Alien Biospheres

[@MagickP00dle]

I just got done watching a 1 hour and 20 minute video essay on Tyr from God of War. 15 minutes is a commercial on YT these days.

[@UseCodePearInTheFortniteShopW]

@@MagickP00dle yet at the same time KZbin shorts is a thing

[@MagickP00dle]

@@UseCodePearInTheFortniteShopW do you also consider shorts long form? What's your point?

[@cameronaragon6198]

What were the sour patch kids doing in 1939

[@Cartoonicus]

That "Mmmmm... not exactly" at 6:45 was proof that MatPat still haunts the halls of this studio.

[@Indigomoon167]

I'm replying before The Bots do and you are right

[@PaperWinsFromRock]

Prisoner: so what did u do to get here? The noid:DESTROY ALL THE PIZZAS

[@SHADOWLURK]

11:24 the first time you said theft I imeadiatly thought of GTA

[@kRuBe.]

I wish that he covered sour patch kids. Theres some seriously funny and illegal stuff that goes on in their commercials

[@Xernaki17]

*Mascots breaking the law* : Thats gonna be interesting!

[@alexthunder9926]

I never knew Chester Cheetah had a 'cartoon network' period. Specifically a 'cow and chicken' period.

[@themightyironoak]

Theme song for this video "BREAKING THE LAW, BREAKING THE LAAAAAW!!!!"

[@Gbergers]

Can you try to stop the spam bots? It’s genuinely sad and annoying to see them disrespecting these amazing channels, I don’t think you’re going to see this, but i can hope

[@TheFourthEmperorOfTheSea]

I’m glad that more people are stepping in on this issue. I’ve been trying to raise awareness and the computers hate me now lol

[@IIzaraII]

I miss Matt Patt so much

[@ShlokParab]

2:20 when will we see Style theory crossover since Matt's retirement?

[@Jarikraider]

If the Jolly Green Giant is capable of reaching up and casually ripping the moon in half, he's guilty of no crimes because it would be impossible to enforce anything upon him given the magnitude of his powers. I for one welcome our Jolly Green Giant overlord.

[@Totallyhuman337]

Uh Chester would not serve the most amount of time, the Green Giant would at several hundred billion years

[@fernandowada7504]

I like Santi!

[@mathisonchicetawn8445]

Let's be honest: we can't throw the Kool-Aid man in jail because no jail cell could hold him.

[@PatrickTheran-jm9zg]

To any of you yttp clowns, I asked and no your content isn't better and mat pat will be missed dearly, to anyone else who sees this comment, have a nice day and thank you for your consideration

[@TheFourthEmperorOfTheSea]

Lol I feel ya! I’m the captain of the Spider Society Bait Police, so they really hate me! I got 1000 and counting replies on my comment from them 😂

[@icecream_fl00f]

​@@TheFourthEmperorOfTheSeayeah I couldn't even get from the bottom of the replies to reply

[@TheFourthEmperorOfTheSea]

@@icecream_fl00fplease like my second comment so people see that one instead of the first one. They shut my replies on the first one so I can’t talk to anyone 😭

[@nomoresaul]

I think it’s hilarious that an actual spokeswoman for the Navy was surprised that Cap’N Crunch isn’t a real person

[@mikelecoq2756]

No, they’ve got rid of the old food theory intro

[@v.crowley]

And yet statute of limitations are not accounted for 😂 so almost none of them count

[@johnlittle8045]

I know that it's not really the primary direction of the channel anymore, but this is always the kind of theory that gets me excited: deep cut lore of food mascots, hidden secrets about restaurants, stuff like that. No shame on the legit food prep science videos and taste tests, though, those are great too.

[@ragekage5656]

I expected coolaid man to have a higher prison time. Pretty sure he broke through a wall of a court room once with an active trial going on. Maybe I'm miss remembering that commercial?

[@encomeslack]

matpat will be missed

[@starlajordan7613]

Santi: So Chester Cheetah is the one with the most time in jail. Jolly Green Giant: Am I a joke to you?

[@johnmichaelcatubay616]

Videos idea: How long can a person last in costco in a post-apocalypse

[@darknessblades]

The only criminal thing about MR. Peanut is how clean his record is

[@bludreem121]

The Hamburglar's sign in that one commercial says "this is a train robbery." If that's true, it makes it a Federal crime and he's got a lot more jail time to serve.

[@Alison2436]

I really do enjoy Santi as Matt pats replacement on food theory! Great job once again!

[@Zero-hopper]

Many days later Sir Mascot seem to have taken over the jails and are bullying the police we need back up I repeat we need back up

[@shawnheatherly]

I didn't expect rabid fire style episode to go over so many mascots, this was fun.

[@personlookingatyoutubevideos]

Hi

[@HollyPinter]

Boi

[@puppycams2]

Happy first comment 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@puppycams2]

Nah there’s spambots invading this comment

[@monkelifegood]

@UTTPNewEnglandPatriotsIt’s kinda sad seeing pointless comments flooding the reply space. It’s not even rage bait anymore my man just said hi 😭😭

[@piranhaplantfan1311]

Are we gonna ignore how Mr. Peanut has been filling his peanuts up with toxic pesticides and instead of addressing the situation he just did a peanut jig

[@Su_tarman6-Bio]

I was scared to get Rick rolled by the intro.

[@9tim80]

Is Punchy truly guilty though? I mean, he DOES ask his victims first if they would like a nice punch. So, he's at worst sadistic, but not necessarily criminal.

[@TheFourthEmperorOfTheSea]

ATTENTION! Please go like my other comment on this video instead of this one as the Computron Mob shut my replies off here so I can’t communicate with you guys. In the great words of Han Solo “I must’ve hit real close to the mark to get ‘em all riled up like that.” If you can’t find my other comment and you have something to say to me, go find me on another Theorist video. I’m fairly easy to find on any of the recent GTLives. Anyway, the advice below is still valid. Love you all -Captain Arachnight 2099/Miguel O’Hara of the Spider Society Bait Police ♥️🕷️💙 ⚠️Hello everyone!⚠️ Your friendly neighborhood Bait Police officer here to remind you not to reply to computers under comments! Replying to them makes KZbin think that they’re real people. Things to do if you see a computer reply: 1. Do NOT reply! I know it might be tempting to clap back as these computers tend to slander our favorite creators, like Santi here, but replying to them will fool the KZbin algorithm into thinking that they’re real people. 2. Report the comment either for “Unwanted commercial content or spam”, or for “Harassment and bullying.” (Either works, but if you try both a couple of times and the comment doesn’t get removed, try reporting for Hate Speech.) 3. Block the account by going to their channel, first pressing the “Report” button to report the channel and then clicking “Hide this user from my channel” so that pesky computer account can’t reply to your comments anymore. Safe commenting, friends 🫡 -Officer Miguel O’Hara of the Bait Police 💙🕷️♥️ (I swear it’s me, just rocking a Shanks pfp rn because he’s the GOAT) PS. I’m NOT a computer and if you reply, I will get back to you as soon as I can. Ask me literally anything, even something dumb like who my favorite One Piece character is. I swear I’m not a computer! Also, I am using the word “computer” instead of the “B O T” word in my comment and subsequent replies as the comments seem to get hidden for some reason when I use the latter 🤔 Please do the same so I can see your reply. YT filtration is evil!😡

[@alexisme]

Robber(aiming a gun at me): Give me your wallet, this is a theft! Me: Um, actually this is a robbery, because you are threatening m- Robber: *shoots me*

[@TheGh0st6789]

What is up with these bots

[@kingrgames]

Imr

[@donalfitzmauriceneligan631]

So are we going to say Chester has the biggest sentence and forget the existence of the jolly green giant🤫🐆🐆🐆🐆

[@niezdecytowana.k.a.2conten835]

I happy that you *didn't forget* those "Pearls".

[@GTech_builds]

I WAS WATCHING THIS WITH MY FREIND AND RIGHT AS THE COOL AID GUY CAME ON I HEARD "OH YEAH..........!!!!!"

[@liamgeehan-hearn6386]

A Mansion on sale for 1.4 million? What? That's the cost of a normal bungalow now!

[@blackbird008]

The clock rotates and the indestructible movement of time continues. The time for Him is soon to arise, not long now. He welcomes you to His mind, but It knows what that means. It knows the truth. Every detail matters.

[@Light_Darkness]

"Food court is now in session." Missed opportunity: "Food court is now called to order."

[@Mynameishassan0]

Is this your order?

[@jackbarnicle9191]

Not bad

[@king0z]

Mr Peanut died because you wanted to save his friends but then Mr Kool-Aid Man brought him back to life even though he was 6 feet under

[@MrH103]

Okay, I have a question. How exactly are we supposed to imprison the Jolly Green Giant? He *pushed* the sun and ate what looks to be at least a third of the moon. The guy is probably jolly because he knows we can't do jack to him.

[@MR-NO-NAME0]

The Kool-Aid Man *Evil laughters*

[@bryanevans737]

Is this matpat?

[@Yaimus_Productions]

No

[@myrasuhas7819]

Its his editor

[@brennasmith9609]

Can we just talk about the blatant Cinnamon Toast cannibalism? Like why?! If these channels didn't ruin my childhood, those ads did.

[@borekminer]

on the food mascots,you may not find any actual crimes but if you look CAREFULLY at the starbucks logo girl you may find shes a siren and that could give suspicion of multiple crimes

[@mireyabaca6017]

I need matpat

[@karabearcomics]

I can't help but wonder about some of the more interesting mascots out there. Like, in the 1940s, Tootsie created a superhero mascot for Tootsie Rolls: Captain Tootsie, with his sidekick Rollo. They might have had some interesting crimes in their stories. You also had the Kooba Kid, who only lasted for two half-page stories, but he could get rung up on the crime of fraud. He's the mascot for Kooba Cola, and there's a reason you've never drank that soda. The comic publisher advertised a soda which didn't exist, in hopes that there would be so much demand that he could get a manufacturer to make it. The demand never came, so the soda never existed. However, the Kooba Kid is there, encouraging people to give money for a product that doesn't exist. And since Kooba Cola doesn't exist, what's he likely drinking? And, if he made it himself (most likely), is it possible that doing so is a crime in itself, like could he possibly be a bootlegger? More modern mascots, though, could be looked at, too. You have Pepsi Man, who probably could get some breaking and entering charges, as well as there likely being something there in his reckless running everywhere to the point that he usually slams into a wall or the like to stop, and not to mention any sort of vandalism that can be charged due to him spraying Pepsi at thirsty people (I mean, how sticky does that make them and those around them?). But you also have Combo Man, who must have something going against him in the issues he appeared (though, like Captain Tootsie, I haven't done the research to know for sure). NFL SuperPro could be an interesting one, as well, since he might at least have a case of copyright infringement against him, since he's using the NFL name and logo without their consent (they aren't even sponsoring him in-universe). And US-1 might have some violations due to the modifications on his truck, as well as reckless driving and the like. But for a more conventional mascot, and this is more well known, but couldn't be in this video due to it being multiple characters: we might want a look at the Keebler Elves, too. I'm sure they're not following FDA guidelines when they make their cookies and crackers, and they likely have some OSHA violations, too.

[@notcreativeenoughstill]

“How Thick Can You Gargle” episode when?

[@The_real_sam_G._lackerson]

This comment is to test how many bots will reply 💀👍

[@nakuvamp]

Beep boo boo bop.

[@Icey_gt698]

Answer 7

[@fabiodimiceli2218]

I'm surprised santi didn't mention wilkins and wontkins from the wilkins coffee commercials

[@Nakai-bh3cg]

I used to love Matt all mats channels Food theory game theory, film theory style theory all of them but ever since he retired it’s just it’s never felt the same😞

[@YoutubeCommonman_Totas]

Theory idea: what order should you eat a fast food meal? Here's my take, you should start with fries and nuggets, they go cold the fastest out of the bag

[@zainepittman653]

10:50 I think that whoever made the captions for this video didn't know how to write numbers. Not only is there an extra-set of three zeros, one set of zeroes that should be there is in the wrong place. If you remove the excess three zeros, the number is four billion eight hundred fifty million five thousand.

[@Phobetor-Necros]

1:07 "what would happen if the lot of them actually faced prosecution" He said, showing a defense attorney instead of the famous prosecutor from the same franchise who got his own spin-off!

[@TheDarkGod89]

Through back who remembers this vid? 12:56

[@RowanSirius]

Im disappointed Mr Peanut's crimes weren't investigated in full detail