Why Influencers Lie So Much | Race, Class and Public Image

[@ForHarriet619]

Join me on Patreon! Patreon.com/ForHarriet

[@alli5078]

Do you have a list somewhere of the books you read? Ive gotten a couple from previous videos but you always seem to find the best books for these topics that I’ve always been curious about myself.

[@emaginationproductions]

"For black audiences, we tend to congregate around aspirations and not realities because the realities are so depressing" - You're speaking the truth and I don't like it!!!

[@BellesView]

This is so accurate!

[@twentysvn]

I gasped at how real this is

[@roshnation]

Your closing sentence is hilarious. 🤣🤣Laugh now, cry later.

[@lnbrown0]

Omg just talking about this

[@fitfacade]

I love this

[@alishainc]

"Do you think Bezos is so much smarter than someone who makes $9/hr?" Luck, opportunity privilege, timing. Nobody wants to speak about these factors. A lot of people "work hard" and it doesn't pay off. It requires external/internal factors

[@Greenair777]

This!!! Because every day, every month, every year I’m working hard and it does not always pay off and people dont talk about that much.

[@SherrellMooreTucker]

Thank you so much for saying this. So true

[@beewest5704]

Survivorship bias. We seldom to never look at the millions ppl who did exactly what the successful person did or say its their claim to success & failed miserably. Also nobody wants to acknowledge that they were born on rung 7 of the ladder while other ppl first had to find a ladder.

[@quelquun2018]

@@beewest5704 💯💯💯💯 That 7th rung came from the people he knew.

[@sara3sparkles]

This comment. Gold. YES.

[@itsyourgirltee3754]

In South Africa some influencers are honest lately about how they are maintaining this "soft life" and curating the rich girl aesthetic by no longer saying to us "Work hard", but openly stating that Men and at times even married men are providing and/or supplementing their income for their lifestyle. What i love about this openness is that it provides young girls; who immediately want to quit their jobs to be full time youtubers; that sex work/sugar daddies are providing them with the means for luxury unboxings etc...This transparency arms young girls with the requisite information and they can make informed decisions about whether they truly want to commodify their bodies.

[@BusiMjiyakho]

I like the new wave of honesty as it's really necessary.

[@itsyourgirltee3754]

@@BusiMjiyakho I agree and also elated that also this transparency is allowing us to do the Math even on the girlies who claim to be "self-made". So that we are also not mislead. Also with Jackie Phamotse books speaking candidly about her experience in being enthralled in that lifestyle, of being a sugar baby to the top 1% in South Africa, really has shifted the dial on the realities of sex work or being a sugar baby. South African girls now have data points to make better decisions

[@sweedy3333]

Bless them fr. I need that honesty to come to the states 😩. Even with sugar babies over here, people started out by saying you don't have to do anything sexual/it's not sex work which is a complete lie

[@eitaiara]

Same shit here in Brazil, unfortunately

[@sweedy3333]

@t deadass 🤣

[@karenmassey8354]

“3% of blk Americans are upper class”. But if you let the manosphere tell it, most blk men make 6-figures and are of “high value”.

[@easyw1220]

😂 and the men and women still cannot agree.

[@iamraynbow]

As someone who works on social media, basically 24/7, it never ceases to amaze me how succinctly and how precisely you talk about these issues that I can sense but really struggle to put my finger on. Fantastic video.

[@featherplucker]

Whew! You articulated what I’ve always thought PERFECTLY. As a single mom of a daughter, I don’t indulge in materialism. My daughter and I keep it cute at Ross and Burlington. Living within my means is a blessing for sure. I own 2 properties as a result and my retirement and savings accounts continue to grow exponentially. I’m able to put a lot of extra money away toward my daughter’s trust fund and college fund. And have plenty left over for our entertainment and traveling experiences. I drive a car that’s older, but that’s paid off and don’t plan on “flexing” with a new luxury vehicle, even though I can fully afford it. I just have no desire to “flex”.

[@PieceOfHeavenxo]

Being close to or completely debt free is the flex mama! Your daughter is lucky to have you as an example. And you’re also showing her self worth doesn’t come from things you buy. ❤️

[@featherplucker]

@@PieceOfHeavenxo thank you for that love ❤️

[@MsMizz1]

Inspiring 💗

[@Liza-gd7jf]

smart

[@iamlaurengill]

You sound like a wealthy woman to me! Keep it up!

[@itsyourgirltee3754]

The truth for me is that I follow "soft life" influencers on social media to live vicariously through them. I am a 31yo black female banking executive and I honestly have the means to buy luxury brands but my flex is honestly my love for investing in stocks and real estate. Opening up my quarterly investment statement and seeing the ROI and growth of my portfolio gives me a high. So that i can retire early and own my time and truly live "soft" as a childfree unmarried woman. I honestly dont see the value in curating an aesthetic that is based on consumerism, and living a public life at the mercy of brands and being a walking billboard; that isn't what quality of life looks like to me; but the bags are pretty. Lol.

[@BlessedDivinely]

#WhatSheSaid🎯

[@amab1853]

Well said!! They are basically walking billboards for brands. I always wonder, when are they enjoying their actual lives

[@SaloneDutchess]

Teach me please.

[@TeaLeaf222]

@ItsYourGirlTee how much would you charge to consult? Im trying to learn about investing on my own and there's soo much info out there and rando programs to join. As of now Im just using youtube university and google lol Im trying to flex like this!

[@Daijxo]

I’m living vicariously through you 😂 🎯.

[@ayanna6327]

My issue with escapism as an excuse is that escapism is presented as a solution. One black person becoming a millionaire/billionaire and posting their Louboutin collection is not the solution to the history of black peoples struggle in this country, yet is celebrated as such. It's why I'm so against optics-based politics. Yes, optics in politics is important, but when your politics becomes pure optics and doesn't make any sort of viable change aside from "not hurting the opposing sides feelings", is it a movement? Or is it just a spectacle?

[@toyaJM]

I hate that the more we’ve connected via social media the more we all want to be the same or have the same things. It’s boring, it isn’t inspiring, I’ve paired way back on how many platforms I’m on and even who I am still following.

[@Kay-kg6ny]

Yes. The CONFORMITY of it all.

[@HUeducator2011]

Yurp!

[@evilcaptainred]

💯

[@MaxineShaw_84]

Same! The first thing I noticed when stepping back is that everybody has the _exact_ same vocabulary; not just slang. It reminded me of high school. 🚫🤮

[@toyaJM]

@@MaxineShaw_84 lol the luxury girls all buy the same things and style them the exact same way, the soft life girls all have the same housing and travel to the same places, I’m like this is borderline cultish. We all wanna belong but damn not to the extent that we become one person it’s weird.

[@PresidentIsraa]

People on TikTok talk so much about how instagram is dying bc of how curated it is meanwhile TikTok is even more curated. The entire point of TikTok is to follow a trend in order to become popular.

[@smome777]

I almost agreeeeee except I follow people that are just like this creator and have such fascinating discourse

[@alexandravalerious3274]

so true. its curated to the point that the tiktoks You see r incredibly niche. its possible to get famous on tiktok and not be known by the whole platform. the fyp is incredibly myopic

[@grapeskunk4003]

Damn 😂 I hate TikTok but love my little collection of fun videos I have of my son (tabby 🐈 cat).

[@Caprice33]

Literally

[@PresidentIsraa]

I never came across any. I only know the girl Kiana and Lipgloss on there. But Kiana was always getting dragged. The environment online is so hostile that you can't say anything against the grain, or without adding very layer of nuance without being dragged.

[@TheLastDrinkZA]

I swear no one talks about the 7-10 years of putting ish together, trying, failing, losing friends, family being mad at you, living with your mama at your big age, that comes before the flex. And when you've gone through that 7-10 years of sowing and building, you tend not to want to flex like that because the level of humble that comes with achieving your Dreams against all odds is so much bigger than the desire to make a point. When you start living the life you've been building you can only be grateful. It's really about no one else but you saying "I really did it".

[@niablee]

As someone who legit saw the rise of social media influencers, even dabbled in it myself, as well as currently working in social media marketing, ALL of it is a lie ‘cause all everyone is showing you is what THEY want you to see. No matter how much you think your fave influencer is being “real” and “authentic”, it’s so they can get something out of you. Whether that’s likes, subscribers, followers and/or subscribers. What I realized is with most of the influencers that I follow, EVERYTHING is about a check and once they get on and start making some 💰, they stop and go into hiding claiming social media is draining (which it ALWAYS was but they were in it and were willing to do every sponsorship deal and a laundry list of affiliate links) and then focus on something else. All of that to be said, what I’ve seen and experienced, once we start monetizing EVERYTHING, it’s kinda hard to believe anyone is truly ever being genuine!

[@vulpixelful]

"That's why you're broke!" I also blame this on the ✨manifesting philosophy that we are prone to falling for. Some people literally believe that praising wealth will get you wealth and that's really sad

[@missbae_]

Nah, it’s nothing wrong with manifesting. Manifesting is simply stating what you want, focusing, and doing the work behind it. Manifesting ain’t go nothing to do with these influencers, prostituting and scamming

[@vulpixelful]

@@missbae_ If you're doing the work then that's okay. But just thinking/chanting is just magical thinking. Honestly, learning to manifest is a waste of time vs practical education, but it only slows you down a little if you still eventually do the work.

[@saav1385]

Bars

[@lianagerhardt]

When I started working and I work in high earning, predominately white job field- I learned that truly wealthy people don’t care about aesthetic; they care about financial growth. It was then that I realized most of the black people in Atlanta who flaunted name brands, expensive cars, and luxury high rises were broke wolves in sheep’s clothing living off of scams, borrowing from others, and living paycheck to paycheck. It was a hard reality when I learned someone faked a whole trip to another country but was actually in the house so no one could see him to protect his image. It got so bad he actually believed the persona he had curated online was his real life

[@Nikki-ks6wi]

Yup especially Atlanta 😂 I believe the best luxury is having options not stuff

[@jordangibbs4091]

Wait?!? He faked a WHOLE trip?!?😮 That’s crazy and sad.

[@AyesheAlwaysLovely]

@@jordangibbs4091 I believe it. I know someone who pretended to buy a house.

[@BuffyNoir140]

And now Atlanta is being gentrified and black peoples being pushed out. Those “poor whites, non Gucci wearing “ now took it back.

[@jamesbaxter222]

Rich people do the same thing. They choose to window dress other parts of their life and story, like how the duck dynasty guys pretended to be backwood hicks to sell their merchandise even though they always have been country club yuppies. Or like Jeff Bezos acting like he built Amazon from the ground up even though his grandfather was an oil executive and his stepfather was an executive over a nuclear power company.

[@GhanimaCrimson]

Thanks for the transparency. I wanted to get into the influencer game because I’m tired of working for folks in general. But being an influencer seems like a nonstop hustle where you can never unplug from it.

[@Kay-kg6ny]

Being an influencer is like having a few thousand different bosses. Who can forget you exist at any time.

[@isthisjune8155]

lol watching vlogs on a 12hr overnight shift has me wanting to do anything else

[@GhanimaCrimson]

@@isthisjune8155 i feel you. i work 11 hour days and one day on the weekends..its time for a change!

[@GhanimaCrimson]

@Kay Kronicals thank you

[@nimahoni]

That is what scares me the most about becoming a social media influencer. It's a CONSTANT job. I can't do it.

[@khazermashkes2316]

I definitely notice that people treat me better if I dress in a way that makes me look like I have a higher class status than I really do. Even doctors treat me better. I am fortunate that my area has good thrift stores so I can buy almost-new castoffs from wealthy people. If I didn’t have this option I would be tempted to splurge not to show off, but to be treated decently by others. I do have white privilege, but due to societal bias against people like me who use wheelchairs people sometimes assume that I am homeless unless I am extremely out together.

[@WhenInDoubtPinkbackup]

I really love this video, people don’t even realize that just having the right apartment can put you in position! (The algorithm can literally see if you’re living good or not)There are so many people right now complaining about how all the girls are the same, but nobody wants to watch people who are different, people who are normal, people who are broke… I always joke about my deep poverty content because I ain’t got it to pretend like I do😅

[@isthisjune8155]

this! omg i never want to make content bc my apartment doesn’t fit the aesthetic but i find myself enjoying and watching “normal” ppl in “regular” environments bc its more relatable and I know I can’t be alone on that

[@WhenInDoubtPinkbackup]

@@isthisjune8155 make your content! There are people just like us who are looking for you✨

[@amab1853]

I have a friend who is an influencer. She shared with me that some IG influencers rent luxury Airbnb's to do their photo shoots. Alot of them, it is not even their actual homes

[@WhenInDoubtPinkbackup]

@@amab1853 what’s even more wild is that the brand sometimes requires you to 👀

[@shehasvision]

The lack of "normal" people is what made me hesitate for so long before finally creating content in my own environment. Also the fact that I'm visually impaired and can't always check what fresh mess the kids have been up to before recording 🤣 Now even the algorithm doesn't want to see me smh

[@PrincessSaskia84]

I see that with 'ethical consumption' where they urge people to buy high-quality clothes that are pricey in exchange for cheap fast fashion clothes. Whilst I support sustainability, it is not accessible to the people who dont earn enough to buy the $100 jeans.

[@CasaDuroTinyHome]

"When I say wealth hording is unethical", "that's why your broke, you're jealous and bitter" 👏 I so relate to that annoying response to my political opinion. I'm bitter because I care about injustice? What does that make you?

[@christinerowlanddeburca4399]

THIS PART!!

[@869ofuncertainty]

This really helped me understand why I didn't care about the Jackie Aina candle controversy. Jackie isn't aspirational to me simply because I don't have the money and even if I did I don't want a perfume wall. But I like watching her content because of her personality and the representation she brings. When she fumbled on the candle I was briefly shocked like an "Oh damn" moment, but I didn't feel like she'd failed me because I don't watch her content for her social ethos. I think because some many people are engaging through the flattening of these communities so we start expecting our personal faves to reflect us and not the algorithm.

[@mori2039]

Courtney Kardashian once had a viral clip saying “i dont watch the news, im perfectly fine” thats the level of escapism i want to reach one day 🙈 Racism? Whats that!

[@babieeden]

Im black, im aware of the isms, but for my mental health I don't engage in the news or recycled social commentary. Why get worked up over things that will not change? I dont find that pessimistic either Im choosing my peace. What can I control? Loving myself, loving others and doing that well.

[@steff6146]

You can do it now sis!!! LOL. I'm a broke student, but other than a few commentary videos I watch by Black people on KZbin about various social issues, I don't pay attention to the news at all. I especially scroll past any kind of violence incurred on Black people (police violence, Karens, etc.), including Black women. It's helped my mental health a lot. I realized that I don't have to be THAT informed. Being Black is enough 😂😂

[@lifewithklc]

I haven’t watched the news in YEARS. I will however read the news for maybe 10-15 mins a day, then go about my life.

[@lifewithklc]

@@steff6146 ALL OF THAT!

[@steff6146]

@@lifewithklc you get me sis!! Especially going about my life. I'm PROTECTING MY PEACE! and that's it 😭💗

[@moustik31]

Bec. lying is cheap!!! Also, I saw someone joking on Twitter about Black people in Atlanta wearing fake designer sh*t and I 100% support this. Cut corners and get the rewards reserved to nepotism babies.

[@TsahaiLayne]

As an Atlanta native and resident, I can confirm that tweet is true.

[@sweedy3333]

Yesss I'm all for fake designer. I don't wear it myself cause I'm not a big fan of designer labels, but why break the bank when you can get a much cheaper replica?? Ain't not shame

[@avybez1]

Yes because most people love fake and hate real (in general).

[@beewest5704]

😂😂😂

[@teeshante]

So many gems dropped here… I’m not sure if it’s my algorithm or ppls willingness to be truthful but as of late I’m seeing creators exposing the truth about influencers/celebrities. For those of us working 9-5 making a mere $70-$80k this is so helpful to dispel the nonstop notion that 9-5 life is foolish.

[@ayanomar1408]

trust me you making consistant paycheck plus a decent healthcare insuruance is alot better than selling your personal life as a content

[@nanaak8617]

Lol a 70 - 80K annual salary is not "mere". Please.

[@ayanomar1408]

@@nanaak8617 it is not mere but also in certain parts in the country it is the average

[@TriggaTreDay]

@@ayanomar1408 where is that the avg? The average income in every state is still below $35-45k. DC had the highest and that was below $50k. Now if you are referring to industries, than ok….Maybe in tech, finance, or consulting…, yes-ish, but even then it would be based on what company she works for. Her salary is above average period.

[@ayanomar1408]

@@TriggaTreDay okay

[@breezyofcourse]

My goodness, this was the analysis i needed on today. I've been trying to put words to my feelings around the dissonance that exists around claiming to be anti-capitalist while actively, excessively participating in it. You said just a little while ago that luxury is not a political statement and man has that stuck with me. Excellent, excellent video.

[@fans-ed1td]

Also, it seems like all influencers are just recycling and regurgitating the same talking points about certain topics. I just want to hear some fresh ideas that are well researched, critical, and thought provoking.

[@samiinaa]

Seriously!! I just watched Kelly stamps vid on how to become a influencer and she just regurgitating same thinks other influencers have said

[@laninfapimentel311]

Ah, the socially approved discource. Everybody is terrifyed of getting cancellend, not only because of the bullying. A good image is the same as wealth now

[@millieb710]

@@samiinaa that video was so disappointing to me. I was like wow…. Going viral doesn’t happen to everyone. It felt very dense to be

[@pisceanbeauty2503]

This is how we all know who Andrew Tate is now! 🫣 Everyone doesn’t have to discuss the same topics.

[@sarahjames4358]

@@samiinaa I don't really watch her stuff anymore!

[@smome777]

Another thing that I'm interested in as influencerdom is such a new job market. Because influencing has yet to really taper off I fear what happens returning to the workplace when everyone knows "you" so intimately. People have shared divorces, grief, marriages, cheating, breakups, sexual health etc.

[@DavidMiller-cu2xq]

23:30 Its funny you mention Asian Luxury influencers cause this past year a Korean influencer/reality star named Free Zia/ Song Jia got into a national controversy as it was exposed that she was wearing fake luxury brands and it was national news

[@Princess_Weekes]

The way I nodded throughout a lot of this video

[@drasco61084]

The fake it til you make it stuff sounds so much like MLMs it's not something that is feasible or sustainable for most people to get to where they want to go via this path.

[@JoMbangasta]

Your talent for layering a topic is such a wonder for me

[@scarletsletter4466]

I hope this video reaches a broad audience. This content is so important, particularly about money being spent on luxury brands by the people with the least disposable income

[@fredrika27]

I am one of those few people who will NOT buy a €500 handbag to keep up with the Jones!!! I don't spend what I don't have. The last time when I was in the US I went to visit some of my sorority sisters who told me point blank to my face that I was "letting myself go"! Never mind, we had just talked about putting our kids into prep schools so they could get into better universities and have access to scholarships! How I am supposed to look when I am paying tuition for my son which is over €20k a year? I'm an educator, meaning despite my PhD, I do not belonging to that 3% who are top earners. My child's father died in four years ago, so there isn't any money coming from him--God rest his soul. As a single mother of one after paying my rent, utilities, fixing the car and paying tuition, there is little left. But wait there is more! There are books, field trips, school uniforms and birthday parties/slumber parties my son wants to attend. I'm driving around in a ten year old Ford Focus, don't have my nails nor feet done, don't wear make-up and don't have a €600 weave that will cost me what some people earn in two weeks. I'm living just enough for the city without going into debt. My appearance is neat and tidy and I don't smell nor are my clothes dirty. Yet, some of my sorority sisters try to make me feel bad that I am not a poster child for the fashion industry just because I got a PhD and should represent my people. Why do we put so much on appearance when most of us are living in the inner cities (there is nothing wrong with it) or working class/middle class areas. I'm a decent, God fearing woman who is right now a Plain Jane because my son comes before anything else and I refuse to go into debt to keep up appearances. I will wear that fashion from ten years ago because I bought quality and it still fits! Your child needs a ride to school on a winter day because you're working, drop him off early and I'll make sure he gets to school with my son. However, what I refuse to do is be bullied by society that is trying to tell me how I should look and what I should buy. Last time I looked, most of these designers don't hire people of color and if they do, they are tokens! I should know! I live in Germany and have visited all the big fashion houses when I was young and fun. In the early years, Gucci didn't want POC in their Rome shops, but this stopped when they lost business when Oprah and Tina Turner started saying how bad they were treated. Then there are the clothes that never fit for which the EU is now handing out stiff fines because several high end houses were found to burn their product, creating pollution and land fill, rather than sell at a reduced price. But the most egregious issue is the lack of POC in front of the store, in R&D, in production (only as cheap labor) and design! Companies like Chanel, Gucci and Fendi don't keep numbers on their diversity hires because they know they are so far behind that it's not funny. And getting Black and Brown designers here in Europe is difficult or the markup is so high, it's like that €10k Hermès is offering! So why should I accept the lie that a product is going to make me happier when the truth is it's going to break my pocket book and go down in value the minute it leaves the shop. Meanwhile, some--not all--my sorority sisters are defriending me because they can't be seen with a person who looks like they are still poor for which I am! I take pride in my accomplishments, but I don't suffer fools and lying about my appearance. You're right for calling out these harmful practices, which are shallow at best and creates division within our society when put into practice!

[@aminamirindi3495]

This content is what a lot of young women, especially black women need to hear. Particularly digital creators. Thank you for sharing and highlighting this topic.

[@PieceOfHeavenxo]

“The people who wanna move up fake it or they start scamming” I said PERRRIOD. Not me though I ain’t tryna go to jail 😂 😂

[@phdgirl2016]

Regarding diaspora, I find intra-racial cultural appropriation, among Black folk, to be one of the negative outcomes of social media - love that you raised this. The increased discourse among us is powerful, but the blurring of what makes us distinct, and the special histories we all carry, is troubling.

[@TheLastDrinkZA]

It's also unsettling how we're trying to out-victim each other. It becomes evident in the gender wars. Where the objective truth is that we could move so much further so much quicker if we weren't spending so much time trying to prove to each other that we're suffering "more". In truth. I think we make ourselves suffer but that's my subjective opinion.

[@chirpeechik]

Kim, you said what I have thought about the life of some influencers for a long time. It is a very taxing 'JOB'. Is it really worth it? Bless their hearts.

[@laughingshaman1]

That van life thing is part of this. They are homeless deluxe.

[@nizarr21]

"Homeless deluxe.." 😂

[@jrr7031]

I mean.....not really. If u fucked up and have a family with teens, and want them happy.....you're not going to do this. If i didnt have those obligations i would be van life/stealth camping. Lol i make well enough but, houses are overatted to me now....that im older.

[@toyaJM]

It’s actually really expensive to do van life. I looked into it at one point.

[@golden_life0867]

God, I pray this video goes viral soooooo many people need to hear these words.

[@mmikiogt54]

Literally hopped off a live the moment this posted. Your videos always make me light up and laugh even when the topics are so thought provoking 💛

[@mikasjewels5772]

"Soft life" is definitely of Nigerian origin/pidgin english.

[@starcherry6814]

I consider myself an average content consumer, and I can tell you I’m tried of always being asked to buy something. I’m sure I’m not the only one, this is why most content creators can’t sustain

[@TreniaP]

This was a brilliant video! I love the way you broke down the business aspect of influencers. This is also about a generation that doesn't want to do traditional work, and being an influencer seems like a way out. If you've seen your parents or grandparents struggle in jobs they hate to put food on the table, but this other, more fun, independent option is presented to you, it's very appealing. Being an entrepreneur comes with its own struggles, but the idea of sitting in a cubicle all day or working at a place like Amazon is not something folks want to tolerate anymore. The world of work and what it takes to maintain the even a basic lifestyle is more expensive and less accessible than it used to be. I hate that so many young folks who want more have to deal with this.

[@dianabryan7421]

Ok this was so GOOD! Points were made receipts were brought facts were laid out before us! I live for engaging content like this and the part about black folks not really having anything is gonna have people in their feelings but is so true!

[@BryonyClaire]

This was such a great video! Another thing is people say they want influencers to be real, but they don't, as you rightly pointed out, people want to see the beautiful fantasy and not the real bts struggles of creating that fantasy for people, let alone if someone speaks up about their mental health issues due to the insecure nature of the job and the fact they literally rely on public approval and virality to stay alive, but then people say "well you're not even doing a real job!" And the cycle continues

[@issydelon]

This is exactly why I don’t film or take pictures for everything I do. I like to live in the moment and enjoy my lifestyle without trying to turn it into a check all the time. Take a break!

[@pisceanbeauty2503]

Thanks for breaking down how the sausage is made, so to speak. As someone of a certain age who has been around the block some I have been able to pick up on the shift in trends and how it influences our favorite influencers to move their content in similar directions, but I am concerned for younger viewers who may take many of these personalities at face value and absorb a certain idea of life as “normal” that will likely not be attainable for them. Your section on escapism also resonated with me because the current moment seems inundated with hyper-escapism, to the point where there is becoming a backlash to social and political engagement at a time when it is most critical. The nihilism is real and there can be frightening consequences to this.

[@louisachalarca6494]

My white adoptive mom definitely used her ‘frugality’ aka being economically comfortable with housing to remove herself from ‘bad or dumb’ spending on luxury. It was definitely a way to raise herself above working class black Americans while romanticizing Irish Italian American working class ideals. Insidious and only clicked truly now

[@Pickythicky]

I dead assss had that same revelation while in the shower yesterday! @ 4:25 like your life is WORK how ??? You worked hard to get to this POINT to be soft lol the semantics of it all !!! Just say “doing what I love”

[@toyaJM]

You literally can see all the work they are doing living the “soft life”, they make sponsored posts on vacations, they move into a new house and you see all the brand deals, there isn’t a moment that isn’t capitalized on. I’m like that looks like work to me, when do y’all turn off lol like if you really not working why are you posting so much and with affiliate links lol

[@alaerelifestyle]

Spiritually and emotionally speaking a lot of this commodified aesthetic nonsense can ignite deep feelings of lack in young and impressionable minds. The concepts of delayed gratification and healthy humility are just degenerating 🙃 and we need that for culture to progress, we need faith and diligence and originality not just repetition

[@AmandaabnamA]

I've been unplugged from social media for a year and I dont miss seeing so many people I don't want to see. Especially gentrifiers in NY

[@mori2039]

I hate when influencers give lies that nobody asked for - theyll post a body pic like “all natural “ ummm its not but no one even said it wasn’t so why are you announcing

[@Alushforlux]

Soooo true!

[@jrr7031]

Lmfao its like writing down a Freudian slip. Or is it at this point chronic lying......"just cuz...!"

[@sherntell]

I learn at least 5 new words or phrases every time I watch your vids!

[@merrytunes8697]

Thank you for speaking on a subject that doesn’t get discussed enough.

[@rubberducky893]

It's so hard. I'm an aspiring influencer. I'm building my instagram. I want to build a community of people who are plus size, mid size, that's really into retro style. I'm looking for hippie mid size/plus size people. I've noticed more & more skinny white girls using the hashtags of plus size & mid size because of how profitable it is now to be mid size & plus size. It's so frustrating. Skinny people have everything. Everything. Now that there's a movement for mid size/plus size people they want to get in on the action. The algorithm & people who are scrolling, already look at skinny white girls with desire. So, those who have marginalized bodies like me are kicked to the curb. Even in the movement like body positivity. If you're a size 0 or 4, there's so places that has your sizing. Society views your body as attractive. It's so frustrating.

[@WorldofDaisyFlowers]

Heyyy, Want to connect, I’m a midsize model and talk a bit about fashion. I’m on KZbin and IG.

[@rubberducky893]

@@WorldofDaisyFlowers Sure! What's your ig?

[@WorldofDaisyFlowers]

@@rubberducky893 @worldofdaisyflowers

[@Alushforlux]

Yesssss I agree with this! Or even ppl using POC hashtags when they aren’t POC🙄 it’s a mess nowadays

[@josh_suber]

For me it’s not surprising individuals from a low socioeconomic group would desire luxury 🤷🏾‍♂️

[@Tunenine]

I am so with you. I've been told a few times why don't you become an influencer for all you do at your age and your physical health, movements, and life. I said "heckkkkk no". I explained "it's unrealistic, I watch women who do their best to make their world perfect, even when they say "I'm not perfect", they still try to make themselves perfect for the world to see. There is no way in heck I want to live like that, have to do a video, have to make it perfect, have to give up my time, on the hour, every hour, have to pretend like I'm so in love with the viewers and most of all "lie". Does money mean that much where your load is 24/7, nope not me? I hope to retire and continually enjoy my life, not the life I put out to the world. I not going to totally knock all influencers though I find so many so rotten, I'm just not into the "look at me so I can get paid, then let me take a Tylenol"

[@trhair1]

I appreciate your honesty. Most people prefer fake rich instead of truth about what they can afford.

[@terrydugas5662]

I love this conversation! At 25:53 when you're talking about the folks that come from wealthier situations and choose to live below their means (or display some sort of modest living for social media) I was reminded of a TikTok by a black college student who was talking about how Timothy Chalomet does this very thing. He's never wanted for anything material in his life but makes an effort to appear far poorer than he actually ever has been.

[@Vanjee24]

I get excited every time I see a new upload from you! ❤️

[@starlightt4094]

the one thing im thinking about is that the whole influencer market is based on affiliate sales. if we really are headed into a recession then most working class folks will not have the disposable income to buy the stuff that influencers promote. i wonder what will happen considering a lot of people have quit their day jobs to make content

[@nolwazigxawu9797]

This is all I’ve been thinking about when it comes to influencing. The last recession happened before influencing was a thing, so we don’t have a historical reference of what will happen to them. Based of my small corporate experience, I know that marketing is one of the first things that get cut in some companies. And influencers are basically billboards…

[@angeleblg8100]

Damn this video is so good ! The whole "Black people in the US spend money they don't have" reminds me a bit of black people, specifically poor or "low middle class" black woman in France who will buy very expensive handbags when they live in a shitty apartment with their children sharing one room. It's a very real thing, also in some countries of west Africa (Congo, Camerun) with the "sapologie" movement : meaning you can see men wearing very expensive and extravagant suits, extremely well dressed but then they live in very precarious situations. I feel like those three situations are different of course, but the thing they have in common is that we need to pretend a bit (or more than a bit), and the only way we can "afford" to pretend is by buying some things because you cannot buy wealth, or privilege, or whiteness, we can only buy handbags, or trips, or stuffs, and pretend cause we don't have the real thing (wealth, whiteness, etc.). I see it as a way to escape our condition, some do it in a more "creative" way (sapologie, influenceurs, etc.) and others just buy stuffs to pretend and that's it. Coming from a poor, African immigrants in France background, I TOTALLY understand. Poor people HAVE to look good if they want to survive and to get integrated in this world and in order to do so, you HAVE to buy stuffs, whether you want it or not, looking good is super expensive and/or time consuming (because money buys time, and if you don't have money then you better have time). So I totally understand, and I think in a way, it's just one of the other survival tactics that we have, but we tried to turn it into something more enjoyable, so more expensive and out of reach. I'm not saying it's healthy or good, I'm just saying I totally get it. (Sorry for my English, it's not my first language, I'm French ^^)

[@BK-yb6ic]

Your English is great!!!!!!!!!!!!!❤️

[@RegularHuman]

This youtube plateform enabled me to learn about people that are of different cultures

[@thesimplelife7543]

Girl, how did miss this much intelligence on these YT streets. Sub immediately! Extremely refreshing content!

[@tresvegan3633]

I love your brutal honesty about how hard you have had to work for your platform to reach its current heights and counting. It is really hard sometimes to fight thoughts off of “ what am I doing wrong? Or why can’t I just have their life? You really have to take a break from social media altogether to make sure you are staying sane. Your honesty helps to remind me that working a 9-5 is truly better suited for some people, like myself lordt 🙏🏽

[@cross75man75]

Yet another brilliant dissection of one of modern life's insecurity-inducing monsters, Thanks, Kim.

[@Neonnysh]

I love listening to your media/influencer analysis videos while working my little desk job. Im glad creators like you are here to give thought provoking and grounded perspectives. Amazing work! Looking forward to the next one 💖

[@amajors08]

Been loving all the recent commentary

[@pinky15ification]

15:50 that makes sense. You see influencers spending on luxury and skimping on the essentials. It's sad really

[@IngridAsInBergman]

I really needed to hear this today. Thank you, Kim.

[@sweedy3333]

I don't think misappropriating other ethnicities within the diaspora is the problem. My issue has always been the lack of respect. So many groups try to say Black Americans don't have culture while concurrently partaking in our contributions. I feel if there was more respect and acknowledgment, it wouldn't be a problem

[@louisgomez2090]

I think it’s important to remember that this issue goes both ways. With other groups of black people disrespecting Black Americans, and Black Americans disrespecting other kinds of Black people in the diaspora.

[@sweedy3333]

@@louisgomez2090 I understand how you feel, but i was speaking from my perspective. I think the conversation is a lot more nuanced than just saying it goes both ways. Americans aren't global-minded enough to shit on specific ethnicities. We may play into ignorant and harmful stereotypes of continental groups, but it's rarely ever a specific ethnicity/culture. Hell, I didn't even know Black people were in South America until I as almost an adult despite them having the largest Black population outside of Africa. Even with Caribbean groups back in the day, all of it was either Jamaica or Haiti. Theres even an old NIH description of "Black" that says the same thing 😭. I definitely acknowledge that Americans are far more than capable of harm, but many other groups will readily have the mindset that Americans *specifically* don't have a culture, are ignorant (which globally, yes), stupid, poor, violent, ghetto, or arent on their "level" and just overall won't fuck with us even though they readily partake in our culture without acknowledging where it comes from. But to your point, the respect and acknowledgment definitely needs to go both ways

[@camillelemmens1745]

@@sweedy3333 I don't think the statement "I'm not disrespectful/insulting you, because I barely know you exist" is a particularly respectful one. That is exactly why people often don't like Americans (regardless of race). American culture and its commercial production is so pervasive globally that local cultures often cannot (commercially) compete. It comes across as so arrogant, that you don't even know these groups exist, but do expect them to revere you and the cultural production your industries force on them.

[@Wwumzymumzy]

@@sweedy3333 You’re just using doublespeak to say that Black Americans don’t participate in the cultural divides and are just victims in a one-sided attack from other ethnicities. It doesn’t make any sense to say that people are too uneducated about other cultures to insult them, but just knowledgeable enough perpetuate harmful stereotypes.

[@sweedy3333]

@@camillelemmens1745 I didn't say that. I acknowledged that we are disrespectful in that we play into harmful stereotypes and are overall ignorant in a global aspect. America as a whole is xenophobic af and that absolutely trickles down to Black people. I personally find my own ignorance embarrassing and shameful and not anything to be prideful about, but im sure there are other groups who behave the opposite. I never said we weren't disrespectful, I just said that I feel the perspective I am speaking from is more nuanced that just saying it goes both ways. But for me, when I learn about a group/culture that I was once ignorant of, but they already have preconceived notions about me and mines, it's extremely jarring and at baseline is combative. While our culture may be exported globally, WE DO NOT PROFIT FROM OUR OWN CULTURE. What America does or however they choose to exploit us, it doesn't trickle down to the average Black American. Historically, we don't own shit. That why people have been going so hard about supporting Black businesses and gatekeeping our culture both domestic and international

[@kamisolstyle4787]

You blew this out of the orbit. My sister and I were talking about this the other day yet you summed it up flawlessly. Subscribe. Go sis crack that code.

[@JayJayGhatt]

The irony of section 11:25 of this video about “soft life” which was created by West Africans and has been changed when it reached America. Your point makes a full circle for me here. And yes, I remember the MySpace era and I was coding in high school too. This video is so relatable to me. Thanks for another amazing talk, Kimberly.

[@pointnexter03]

Ma'am I am so high right now and I'm really applauding each and every point!

[@ayemiksenoj5254]

When you're truly different like I am social media is a curse. It continues to hammer home just how alone you are on a city, state, national, and even global level. How ostracized you really are. It leads to feelings and pressures of wanting and needing to conform on a heightened scale that never existed before. It can lead to depression and suicidal ideation at any age. An loneliness is compounded to the point of physical sickness. Yet, we're still not talking about this. I don't want to conform, but I don't want to be alone and in this day and age there seems to be no in between. Whereas before it wasn't as hard to want to & strive for commonality because people appreciated (more) the connections they could find.

[@mseatapplesauce6199]

“So much of this job is just about doing the math... but also, stay true to the formula.”

[@mmck2565]

This is NOT a dig what so ever.. but this video took me from, “okay I’m following, to okay this is depressing and overwhelming me. I’m going to revisit this video later because I’m curious as to why this video had this effect on me.

[@aminamirindi3495]

This is an interesting take. I get the feeling that it may be depressing because it’s too close to home maybe? Or the fact that this is a reality? And it’s just that we’re ignoring it? Remember most of what is on social media is either highlights or people pretending to be something they’re. But it’s good that you’re taking a step back to process this information.

[@mmck2565]

@@aminamirindi3495 my comment wasn’t even a take, I didn’t even voice anything about what feelings and thoughts this video gave me - yet. I just pretty much made the comment as a note to self cause i planned to rewatch it with a pen and paper. Little exercise I like to do that helps me dissect organize and understand my thoughts and feelings. But yeah I haven’t yet. But I’ll let you know if that’s maybe what it is. I kinda don’t think so, but I have to rewatch first.

[@shopwithleslie]

I think there needs to be more conversations about living a balanced life, and making sound decisions that help one achieve life goals. Softness should have a routine place in one's life. That is to engage in restoration and relaxation. I am not sure what this means as a "lifestyle" though. Some of the ways in which a soft life has been presented (e.g., sugar babying, buying overpriced "luxury" goods) hardly seems soft to me.

[@crystalj3617]

YES!!!!

[@MieyaOladipupo]

Honestly, it's so draining.

[@latashar2252]

Thank You for this video! I’ve been feeling this way for quite sometime related to the “ soft life.” It’s making a lot of young people feel like they don’t have to work or work their way up. They think they should have it all by 20 y/o . 😳

[@burnettaallen2492]

Yesterday I was trying to explain the fact that I don't get the #luxury, how to make your home look expensive or how to look expensive as a person. Is it only about name brands or is it about recognizing quality and creativity that moves you 🤔 as I think it should be. I thrift and shop discounts. People often assume that I have paid much more than I do. Then they want to know how I do it. When I tell them how, they frown their noses and continue to look like they live meagerly over spending for a few material possessions when their overall life is looking quite poor.

[@talkswithtanya]

Okay this was so eye opening, especially at the end. I am gonna start putting more effort in youtube as a content creator coz tiktok isn’t getting me anywhere with the amount of followers i have. Its like i get new comments from ppl i dont know, as you were saying about comments on your KZbin shorts.

[@normielovesalot3538]

Could you please consider doing a video on the nature of TikTok influencing? I really found it interesting when you brought up the point about TikTok followers and view counts being inflated and it being a lot harder to turn those into actual monetary gain.

[@jb44421]

29:50 are you loved, boo. Your content and critical thinking are GOLDEN.

[@EyEyElla]

This is perhaps the most important video on youtube about this topic!! You gave so much to think about. I was recently thing about these amazon drops. How these influencers are partnering with amazon to make these cheap clothes (that you won’t see them wear). And while i do not have the numbers, there is definitely something very disingenuous about our ‘favs’ who agree to do these drops.

[@eneyavorodecky]

I understand the desire to feel comfortable but what sends me is how much of the luxury brands are plain ugly. I am sorry but the majority of accessible luxury currently available is godawful and I have no explanation why.

[@scorpiusjones5436]

So cool to follow this channel for all these years and watch it grow. Great work Kim 👏

[@c0ld_as_Dice]

one of the things i miss from back in the day in the late 00s or early 10s was blog tv where anyone could hop on an broadcast and interact with thier favorite youtubers on an easier more accessible pace than youtube live streams Thank you so much for this important conversation, it also coincides with the attack on regular jobs or people working regular jobs, no they are not for everyone, but they do need people to function, and they actually are ideal for some people that say have a physical need to move around alot or have ADHAD an cant sit on a computer all day. i personally enjoy working retail, and my bills are well managed an taken care of, and i do live what i would consider to be very comfortable...and i also admit i did go into my old job (also retail) with a shopping cart full of mall shopping bags (twice now!) just to be petty honestly to show i don't need them they need me as i see it in a way worse state than when i was working there...i mean shit, my life isn't glamorous but not only am i content, but i am blessed to be allowed to work overtime if i want (many retail workers are not) and that gives me a super easy way to be in control of how much money i make than have to brainstorm stress about every little IG post an spam with too many annoying hashtags to base my income on it...yeah if i were to ever profit of that, that will be side hustle money for me...never what is going to make or break me...my savings is padded by me literally just getting up and going to a single place for 10 hours or soo a day...an thats basically all i have to do, and use my multitasking abilities to network/communicate with who i need to while i am working....soo along side THIS conversation, people need to stop shitting on the concept of people working regular jobs and the grind itself

[@talisha5863]

Love this discussion💕…..great analysis and acknowledgement of the false reality some of us create for ourselves and present to others.

[@timdivine]

I first discovered you with your 'Leaving Neverland' commentary which was brilliant. Did some research on you, followed you and never looked back. Others I once followed have as you said burned out or simply outgrown some of the stuff they were doing inevitably (all around 30yrs old) . Your intellectualism & analysis will live on forever!

[@avilestiffany]

Love all these thoughts Kim. You put into words what I've been contemplating for a few days regarding the way people respond to such questions as what are you doing for retirement? But your description of how Black folks think of & romanticize money was awesome.

[@MrsBrittanyGold]

I definitely recommend the girls learn the skills and work for a company using their skills and knowledge of social media. The money is steady and the pressure is not to be on.

[@lucasolivdantas]

uhg i love when you go on full kim media analysis mode!

[@KelvinR3]

I typically HATE when people say something and then start to laugh. But when Kim does it, it’s a full ki and I start to laugh too 💀💀💀

[@lastdays9163]

Love this content...Latin culture has always had a love hate relationship with each other but for whatever it's worth, we come out for each other. We love appropriating each others music, style etc and we're proud of it when other cultures especially latin cultures adopt our unique traits, like our music, arts, aesthetics. If you don't listen to Spanish/ Portuguese language music take a look on KZbin, hitting a billion views is a norm for our artist because we show up for hispanohablante artist. I hope the PC community in the US does not instill the "values" of this is ours, not yours, don't touch it just look at it, mindset to the rest of Latin cultures. I get why that mentality is necessary between black Americans and all other Americans but it is not necessary between black Americans and other black cultures around the world.

[@lifewithsashejanell]

I’m glad somebody said this! Agreed agreed. But, they shame the “DHGATE” girls and they don’t tell the truth that their the biggest customers!! We get shamed for things “others” never do. Ohh I want ppl to know Asian TikTok is living their best replica luxury life!

[@norikadolmy7274]

Your last point especially is so true about tiktok. I watch KZbin shorts and occasionally I will find a person or a song or something I like. Then I will get sick of it, but once you stop watching their content obsessively, they fall off your radar and the algorithm never serves them up to you again. It's especially bad with people who post mostly shorts but then a long video occasionally which I may not watch because I mostly watch their shorts and it's like a long form cooking video. But KZbin assumes that means you never want to see their content again. Ditto with community posts. The worst is when you forget someone's name or the name of a song you heard and you can never find it. I've noticed that the algorithm seems more focused on pushing new content, rather than showing you things that you already know you like.

[@annoyedbyyourface]

And when you talked about access and the lack of it for Black people, that reminds me of Essence Box. EB was so much better than Birchbox and Ipsy but because Black people are routinely kept out of access to funding and partnerships, I truly believe that's why it ended so early. Boxes were constantly sold out and people were constantly looking for them but the lack of access to capital and resources that companies like Sephora and BB had, that's what killed them. And it sucks because they really had one of the best subs out there.

[@Okra_winfrey]

There’s a white female youtuber named AllinWithAri and her first video hit over 1 million because she’s a pretty girl living in her car. It came out maybe a month ago. She’s now shopping for an RV and saying she’s planning to build a non profit for homeless people … off a video she made ON A WIM. Meanwhile, TonyaTKO, a black female KZbinr that became popular for her commentary, had a period of a year or more, I believe, living in her car and making content. People just gawked at her instead of trying to help that quickly

[@CNJL1]

Instagram is the worst platform I use. I see the same post at the top or I see pages I’ve never seen before. It takes work to see what you actually follow. It’s a laborious app to use. Is doesn’t seem sustainable.

[@ericjohnson4886]

On the home page, there should be an arrow for a drop down next to the instagram title. If you click “following”, it’ll show you who you actually follow in chronological order. Unfortunately you have to do this every time you go back on.

[@CNJL1]

@@ericjohnson4886 yes, too much work. That step seems simple but it’s actually annoying in practice.

[@ericjohnson4886]

@@CNJL1 agreed!