gay q&a: dating, identity, wlw homophobia

Thank you BetterHelp for sponsoring this video: betterhelp.com/eve
Creative credits ⬇️
Film: Max Selwood
Music: Chaise Longue - Wet Leg
Featuring: SHAG! London hair salon.
Featuring: Kiera Breaugh on TikTok
Charity support ⬇️
By watching this video, you're supporting the following LGBTQ+ charities. All revenue made from this video will be split equally.
AKT Charity: LGBTQ+ youth homelessness charity working with young people aged 16 - 25. www.akt.org.uk/
Black Trans Alliance: black queer and trans led non-profit, supporting black trans and non-binary people in London and the wider community. www.blacktransalliance.org/
Mermaids: British charity and advocacy organisation that supports transgender youth. mermaidsuk.org.uk/
Looking for more support or information on being a part of the LGBTQ+ community or being an ally?
www.stonewall.org.uk/
Timestamps ⬇️
00:00 Intro
02:52 LGBTQ+ as a trend, phase or choice
03:44 questioning gender
04:25 when a girl likes you
05:06 coming out
06:29 queer virginity
07:16 experiencing homophobia
08:52 stop making it your whole personality
10:02 having children
12:15 intersectionality
✩ SOCIAL MEDIA ✩
✭ instagram: instagram.com/?hl=en
✭ twitter: / evecornwell​​​
✭ spotify: open.spotify.com/user/1135106...
✭ email: [e-mail]

[@EveCornwellChannel]

3 videos in 3 weeks? we ain't PLAYIN in 2022.

[@oldsoldier4209]

On the question about virginity, there is a simpler way to state your point. Sex is required for natural reproduction to work. But, reproduction is NOT required for sex to work. 😁 Also, I’m loving the direction your channel is going. As much as I enjoyed your older content, I find more joy in seeing how excited you are about life now. Keep loving the journey. 🤠👍💕

[@emma4068]

eve u treat us so well x

[@stay2382]

you go queen

[@Evergreenvic]

We love to see it!!

[@Me-ss2gq]

I say this with every new video but you can really tell how much more comfortable and confident Eve is!! And I absolutely LOVE to see it

[@balanfelicia4445]

Soo true!!

[@ysi7045]

On the note that men yell at you while you're holding your girlfriend's hand I feel like a lot of straight men think that lesbianism exists for their enjoyment. I had the experience of telling a man I wasn't interested in him because I'm a lesbian and he followed me around, took buses and all, telling me how his ex is bi so I should have sex with her so he can watch. I was so scared. I never disclosed my sexuality to a man like that anymore.

[@marydarko3380]

that experience sounds so terrifying, i'm so sorry you had to go through that

[@cm-yu6gu]

Wow I'm sorry

[@ellabella2228]

It’s pure misogyny and homophobia - so sorry you went through that x

[@pasta8470]

Some straight men probably yes, but I think saying "alot" of straight men is a bit of a stretch

[@madeleine1536]

@@pasta8470 yeah I completely agree. The men who do think that don’t have the ability to think outside themselves and are immature. But for every like one man that’s like that there’s probably five that aren’t

[@tobisbookcorner131]

I really love how our community has reclaimed the word 'queer'! And as it's an umbrella term, I personally feel like I don't need to explicitly explain or justify my queerness, and my sexuality can just mean whatever it means for me (which gives me the space and room to continuously explore my sexuality and not feel restricted by labels)!

[@chloehamzireads4275]

Queer is my absolute favourite umbrella term because it means so much more than just sexuality… it gives space for someone to be fluid in their romantic and sexual attraction, including the opportunity for the two to be seen separately, but also includes rejecting the gender binary and all the stupid social constructs and norms that have been placed on people (especially feminine presenting people) forever. It feels really inclusive as well, which isn’t always the case for the more rigid labels!!

[@tobisbookcorner131]

@@chloehamzireads4275 this is soooooo spot on 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@bashfulnath]

I so agree with this. I found it so overwhelming to try to figure out where I fit in with all the "boxes" but having an umbrella term, I feel quite comfortable with the term queer and I can figure things out as I go. I feel my sexuality and romantic attraction are fluid so having a term like this works better for me.

[@josepha133]

Yes! I don't feel comfortable using the label "lesbian" because all of the negative connotations attached to it. I feel much more comfortable describing my identity as "queer".

[@chloehamzireads4275]

@@josepha133 as much as I love the term queer, it always makes me sad to hear people say they don’t want to use lesbian because of the negative connotations! Yet another case of men changing the way a woman/non-man’s sexuality is perceived 😤

[@marlot9939]

omg what you said about not being sure whether you're rejecting your gender or whether you're rejecting the gender roles is exactly how I feel and have been thinking about a lot. nice to know someone else feels the same it's v v confusing

[@BiGAAAAAAAAAALLLLL]

Because that's what a lot of the modern gender movement is about: the dissolution of classical gender roles in favour of fluidity that is then confused with in fact being the opposite sex. Just be yourself. You don't need to call it anything.

[@AMoniqueOcampo]

Even if you're not doing law anymore, the segment where you talk about the issues lesbian women have in order to have children is great advocacy work.

[@Jenna-js8si]

I could listen to Eve talk forever! The eloquence, the thought behind the words, the calm passion. Amazing ❤️

[@ameliajones2266]

My experience 1. feeling extremely unsafe to come out to the majority of my community. any support or tips on how to do so really appreciated. 2. being a bisexual person in a straight relationship (and never having been in a queer relationship) and having to deal with personal and general comments saying i'm attention seeking or not "really queer" your experience is valid. your support and hearing is appreciated!

[@orispina]

I hate how bisexual people are questioned about their sexuality just because they've never been in a queer relationship I've been told by my own queer friends things like "oh, are you sure you're bi?" "you've never been with a woman" "you don't look bi, why do you feel that way?"

[@josepha133]

You don't HAVE to come out for your identity to be valid. But if you really do want to come out, I would do it one person at a time. That way it's a little less overwhelming. Start with the person you think will be the most supportive and from there just go at your own pace. You don't have to make a post on social media, you don't have to make some big declaration. Start with one person. I think I only came out to one people in the first year after I realised I was gay. It's ok to take your time. Wishing you well ❤️

[@lizz556]

This! I’m bisexual and In a relationship with a man - my partner does not make me gay or straight. My sexuality is not attached to that.

[@julietteprt5673]

I'm also currently in a straight looking relationship (but I dated women before). What makes a difference is how supportive and non judging my partner is. We talk freely about it and it's liberating.

[@mariabdxcardoso]

Questioning your gender is an incredible and terrifying journey so I just want to say to anyone who needs it that there are licensed therapists focused on helping you unpack these feelings specifically ✨ online content helped me realize I was on the NB spectrum but just like Eve I wasn't sure if I was fighting societal rules of womanhood or if it was something else - so don't be scared to talk to a therapist about it!!

[@BiGAAAAAAAAAALLLLL]

If you think about being "non-binary", all that really is, is that you aren't necessarily what you consider the stereotypical version of a woman to be. Really, it's just another way of expressing ordinary human difference and in that respect is sort of nonsense

[@orispina]

These are my experiences: 1. went out on a date with my ex-gf and we were approached by a little girl (didn't seem to be older than 6yo) and she started saying homophobic things; we encountered her 3 more times and after the last one we stopped feeling safe and never went back to that place 2. I had my former psychologist tell me I didn't know if I was lgbtq+ because, at that time, I hadn't had sex experiences. After that she would constantly tell me that I was confused and make me feel as though my feelings weren't valid. It got to the point I had to stopped seeing her because she was sending me into a really dark place.

[@julietteprt5673]

That psychologist sounds terrible. I'm happy you stopped seeing her.. therapists are not suppose to tell you how to feel, they're suppose to help us process our feelings and help us know ourselves better. You are valid!

[@josepha133]

Both of those things are so fucked up.

[@TonyGunk69]

You got bullied by a 6 year old?

[@luisat9791]

i really related to the section of feeling heavily sexualised for acting on any queer feelings; so many things that i could casually do with a man and receive no judgment for becomes shocking and sexual when done with another girl. i remember being drunk at a high school party and being into a girl and making out with her, only to find out the next day people had taken videos of the entire thing and turned it into a spectacle. the same people that wouldn't have blinked had i been making out with a man. just that feeling of validation and entrapment, since the only way to avoid that fetishisation is to limit any pda. i loved this video eve, it was deeply impactful and helpful xx

[@josepha133]

I am so proud of you Eve, it's so important to talk about these aspects of the queer experience. I came out in 2016 but it took me several years to escape my internalised homophobia and to not fall prey to compulsory heterosexuality anymore. The queer experience is VALID! To anyone who's still struggling with accepting their sexuality: you will feel more and more comfortable as time goes on, I promise ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[@theadventuresofvic]

It’s is unbelievable how every part of Eve’s journey that she has shared on her channel has aligned perfectly with the trials and tribulations of my life. I’ve wrestled with my sexuality since I was in the 10th grade and at the age of 21 was when I felt like I needed to allow myself to live the way I was meant to. Almost two years ago, I asked the love of my life to be mine and the journey of revealing us to our world was hard but incredibly worth it.

[@charliep9504]

this video is just everything! having just been broken up with by my longterm girlfriend and being a nb person so much of what you spoke about resonates with me. super fucked up how men and other people believe it is right to shout abuse and hate so openly, definitely had a long time of not being able to hold my girlfriends hand and being scared of how our relationship appeared to people who did not perceive my transness. love and peace to everyone going through anything at the moment ♥️

[@szpaqus]

Once in a bar, to shield me from a man I was not interested in, my female friend said we're dating. Uuuugh that made it worse :| He became so graphic and proposed us a threesome :< I can't believe that saying no to a man is not enough.

[@annemarie9496]

i love seeing how you really seem like you found yourself in the last couple of month ❤️ hope I can reach at least a fraction of how comfortable you seem with yourself in the future. lots of love, love your videos so much 🤗

[@christianlu2643]

the way i related so hard to most of this omgg, helped so much!! love you sm

[@unloyalyeinstan]

eveeeeeee this is so comforting. your channel always feels like a safe space :')

[@Me-ss2gq]

Side note Eve that hair is GIVINGGGGG

[@liv8121]

eve your song choices are always SUBLIME ugh

[@gbrown1669]

always love to see how much care you put into your videos and how creative you are ( and you can see how happy that creativity makes you!)

[@katja-anna7780]

Love having you back! 🧡 It's so motivating to create more as well!

[@xCiaraLouisexx]

Max was a great edition to this video! As someone who identifies as straight - this video really opened my eyes to what LGBTQ+ people go through, thank you for sharing ☺️

[@laurenmiller149]

I adore everything about this. You're such an eloquent and thoughtful speaker, Eve, and I love it!

[@bienemats]

i get so happy every time eve posts ahhh

[@adelebotha4382]

Absolutely adore all your content and have been watching since 2019, I'm really enjoying these different formats and new directions your videos are going Hope your 2022 is amazing and thank you for giving me a little bit more confidence in my own queer identity 💞💞

[@forevermoreivy]

thank you for this!! i’ve never felt so seen, you took the words out of my mouth💗💗

[@itschesta]

eve posted: day made ✅

[@marlot9939]

eve this is a great video!! I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said in this video and I feel like our experiences in terms of our queer identity and coming out journeys are very similar. thanks for sharing

[@elizabeth4689]

eve u r incredible, don't stop making these

[@emilehendricks7440]

Eve, what is this uploading consistency I see? 👀... I love it!

[@caroliinalopes]

Thank you for this!!! ❤️🌈

[@stay2382]

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

[@ange76prkr]

Hi Eve, I definitely resonate with your comments in this video, and I really do feel that the NHS is not great at just explaining to young people about infertility. Miscarriages are very taboo, as one example, and I feel like a lot of my problems could have been solved if I had been taken seriously and given the information rather than being "fobbed off" with the idea that I needed to be with the same male partner for a number of years before they would look into it. I too have experienced homophobia, even from people close to me, and sadly a few times I have had my life threatened for being queer, and over 10 years ago I was accused of "turning" someone gay by being their friend. I think you are really inspiring to be so open about these subjects and I really admire you for talking about everything so openly on your channel.

[@dramaticallysane]

Eve, you're killing it recently! Loving your energy, keep it up!!

[@paigepearcey6781]

Since I can remember I've never fully understood why it feels like people have to come out if they're anything but straight. And I've come to realise I'm definitely bi but I've not come out or anything I've just changed the way I speak about things like instead of talking about the future and saying husband or boyfriend I just say partner etc and kind of just shifted the focus from that and made them think like oh yeah so she's not just interested in men but not coming out becuz it's no one's business and why should I come out, as straight shouldn't be seen as the default and I don't owe anyone the explanation but I do obvs understood if someone wants to come out at the same time that's just my personal preference

[@deniserobalo8737]

it gets exhausting to censor your speech especially around people you’re close to and sometimes it’s nice to speak freely. but i understand what you mean. i just drop it in conversation if it’s relevant, but i’m really selective who i tell and i haven’t told my family coz it’d be awkward. some people can treat u differently so that’s a downside

[@paigepearcey6781]

@@deniserobalo8737 yeah I've basically just skipped the coming out part if that makes sense, if its relevant to a conversation I will openly talk about it as if nothings changed becuz I dont want that whole shock thing of people being like omg now that u have put this into the world u are a new person. Just simply knowing that I don't feel like im hiding it is such a great feeling even without everyone I know knowing straight away im just fading it in slightly

[@stay2382]

Eve, this video makes me feel so much safe. that question asking whether it's a trend phace or choice hits too hard. i'm aroace, i know that i'm aroace i've always been aromantic and asexual i remember it since i was kindergarten yk when adults jokingly tease u w some random kid and it is so hard to tell people my sexuality esp when they say they like you romantically, it's just hard to say i'm aroace and i dont wanna have anything to do w anybody. its j very uncommon of sexuality here so i dont think they'd understand. plus before watching your video, i used to jokingly make ppl think that i like someone just so that i could be "normal" eventho i dont really mean it and was just a joke for me i made ppl believe that i could like someone. i just h@ted it so much how they think that they could date me like what do u expect from me. i dont know how it feels to be sexually or romantically attracted to someone. so after watching your coming out video and u coming out, it made me realized i'm probably not straight, and never been. and it's not phase, or a choice. thats just how i am.

[@stay2382]

the lengths i did just so ppl will not romantically like me. pretended to be gay. pretended to be straight. i've come to embrace my sexuality more now and i never felt this feeling so much like myself ever in my life.

[@meghaneve8207]

wow i am early! thank you so much for your videos which have really helped me accept myself and my queer identity ♥️

[@j33vi]

i am SO excited abt this video

[@amandine7914]

Just what I needed today

[@Haywagen]

I love this with all my heart

[@niamhnolan5797]

Yes thank you so much for this Eve💗💜💙

[@ataile]

girl i'm gay and i'm HERE for this vid x

[@TaylorSwiftGleek]

Thank you for this video! I am straight but am interested in this topic to help me understand it more and be there for other people in my life who are LGBTQ :)

[@alicebradshaw2573]

this might be the best, most relatable video on youtube

[@JM-mj1lb]

Such an interesting video, Thank you for answering all these questions!

[@mariedannenberg8149]

One of the main problems is that some men think that any form of sexuality must give them plesure, wether it is hetero or gay sex ..it has to be for and about them. Really sad but reality. I hope every lgbtq member or is questioning themselves, is standing strong. Everyone is valid!

[@graceb4427]

the wet leg intro omggg

[@phoebedoesntknow659]

I love this. I’m bisexual in a heteronormative relationship. Prior to getting in this relationship I decided to come out to a few important people in my life. I’ve never been able to fully come out due to a homophobic father who would never accept it. This causes a lot of stress and anxiety due to feeling like I’m lying to him as I am comfortable in being bisexual even tho in a hetero relationship and I although he is homophobic look up to him in many other ways.

[@lucyx4941]

its so cool to see you stepping into and becoming more confident with your queer identity

[@kareena3147]

Love your hair!!

[@harleyquiinnnn]

loove this, thank you!

[@maevemcintyre6817]

as an aroace person, thank you for being an inspiration to me!

[@tuscanylemon240]

Very educational as always 👏💗

[@clarabomben]

Lots of love Eve ❤️ Keep it up 🥰

[@Alexa-jh6fu]

I somehow missed your second coming out post and I had the exact same experience so I literally cheered when you said you realized you had no attraction to men lmfao

[@aimemaggie]

8:58 as a queer person. yes. when i'm with my best friends (who are all queer) it's basically 50 percent of our jokes and it feels like a huge part-of our lives but I feel like it's more because we spent so much of our lives hiding it so of course when we can be free, we're going to take the chance to be free.

[@madeleine1536]

Jesus that’s a sad life then.

[@aishasembhi6979]

I know this wasn't the main takeaway from your video, but it was super refreshing to hear a youtuber openly acknowledge the fact that they're white and middle-class, especially during a conversation on prejudices and discrimination. I feel like a lot of former studytubers like to really emphasise the fact that they're 'normal'(i.e., went to state schools, struggled with uni work, etc.) without acknowledging other cultural privileges they have. It was just nice to hear! :)

[@emeraldangel2000]

This video is just ✨✨❤️❤️💯💯💯✨✨✨😩👌 Thank you so much!

[@aalegalfocus]

Thank you for opening up more about personal issues in this video. I do some legal work for a LGBTQ organization. You are a great role model!

[@severine5310]

THANK YOU, I juste discovered wet leg thanks to you, chaise longue is such a cool song 😁 and thank you for talking about queer related subjects

[@mernakassab4851]

I LOVE THIS VIDEO!!!!

[@hissingpeach1040]

why is your username different?

[@detectivemolasses1980]

The outro got me.

[@florianjung2706]

really enjoyed this video

[@gracepountney]

Amazing💗 Thank you.

[@CrystalHey]

Excuse me WHO IS DIANE HORNSBY

[@annambrant]

oh she BACK back 👀

[@edenpenwright1458]

i really resonated with and respect what you said about your experience with gender!! :))

[@AmandaSbarros]

Thank youu, I needed that

[@iot1452]

Bæ is back 🥺👉🏽👈🏽

[@celine22712]

everything about this !!!!

[@bend1916]

love this

[@MazzyDairies]

eve we realised the same thing at the same time

[@kubajurka]

not me getting a grindr notification at 5:03 girl i-

[@loustapo934]

love this video so much, representation counts

[@caitlinlily556]

I get told to stop making my asexuality my personality A LOT and I always find it funny how the allosexual people who say such things to me make discussing their sex lives / sex jokes a large part of their humour!

[@julianafelix8808]

Omg, ur so clever, love it 💞😗

[@joebaumgart1146]

Hi Apothisexual/intersex/Non Bianary here! Love to support my other LGBTQIA friends

[@emma4068]

pls do a video on queer fashion i need to look more gay

[@crazyawesomegirl90]

only halfway through and very much enjoyin this video! i don't mean to sound nitpicky but just some thoughts as a trans person: i find it a little strange when lgbtq+ is used by queer people when the discussion is only about the cis queer experience. i totally get that they are so intertwined but being trans is a whole other ballpark, and there is so much diversity within the term lgbtq+. i think it is more productive and fair to that diversity to only speak to our own specific experience, e.g. as a wlw/queer poc/ trans woman/bi enby etc. rather than using such a broad term and speaking for the whole community when talking about specific wlw experiences

[@angellafeyne]

damn rushed here once I saw the notif

[@crtzy9626]

Ladies and gentlemen, her

[@meghaarya3068]

Why is the name showing up as Diane Hornsby?

[@katieuske7241]

I related to every thing in this video ! •I also came out as bisexual because of compulsory heterosexuality. I think the transition to bisexuality-lesbianism is such a difficult transition that isn’t talked about enough ! I have never been sexually attracted to men but thought it would just be easier saying yeah I like guys n girls. Also, I had a hard time coming to terms with the label lesbian as it’s so sexualised and has had so many negative connotations with the word like I physically couldn’t say the word lesbian but now I’m a raging lesbian, fuck compulsory heterosexuality !! • Whenever I hold my girlfriend’s hand in public, I always have in the back of my head are we going to get hate crimed and is this safe ?

[@Green-rp6br]

Isnt talked about because its not a thing You’re either attracted to females or males, neither or both. Thats it Nobody cares more than that

[@damian69308]

You're so empowering 😍🥰

[@Felu-uv3jq]

Great video! Re being gay as a character - my 2cents - quite many gay ppl either actively or subconsciously adopt 'norms' or things commonly embraced as gay in order to just feel accepted or blended in inside the community who has established the climate. Such sometimes is almost implicitly imposed on people who have not a lot of says on what gay should be like. We should celebrate different forms of 'gayness' instead of self reinforcing what it has been laid out for some of us.

[@5urajrajput]

this was very informative

[@rosameredith1338]

when i didnt think u could get any cooler you play chaise longue by wet leg. icon behavior

[@Shreya-nw7kw]

finallyyy a gay video

[@dearherblue471]

my gay hero👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

[@banoffeee]

For a second I thought you were in a spaceship🤧

[@soup897]

For the one about having children, obviously in general, yes it is probably harder for gay couples to have a child. However, if one of the partners happens to be trans, this may change things, whether it's a straight OR gay relationship.

[@Green-rp6br]

Lol love how you say this but ignore the infertile trans people, did i out woke you?

[@suhanipal4565]

That i agree got me !

[@meganerroch1980]

Where’s your t-shirt from?🌈

[@MUSIC4realLIFE]

From personal experiences - what life is like moving to the UK from a sunny country that has four different seasons. A wide perspective and what to be consider regarding balanced weather! It's a safe place; we are here for you! If there is no sun and only rain and clouds for an extended period, it can have several effects on the human body and mind. Vitamin D Deficiency Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) Sleep Disruptions Mood and Health Physical Health Issues Reduced Serotonin Levels There are two options: just saying you might be just horny all the time, looking to increase your odds up there in the marketplace! Or - you're just looking, deprived of sun, waiting for the bloody rain to stop, hallucinating and waiting for rainbows. In that aspect, many people can relate here in the UK!

[@helenross3037]

does anyone know where eve's shirt is from?

[@otermina]

question, did you do ballet as a child?

[@bothi00]

Excellent content. much like Would love to see you on something like the Owen Jones show! If you still have any love for the law as well, could do something on LGBT history in britain, particularly Section 28 of the Local Government Act 1988/Section 2A of the Local Government Act 1986!

[@fikriyeolmez4265]

2022 is not my year just as other years passed and was not my year any of them :( I am a wreck