How 2 Be Healthy

[@sleepingrepurr6317]

"what'd you eat today? oh yknow, the usual, raisin water for breakfast, an apple, thirty almonds, a lemon, a glass of milk, four dates, and I prayed to god

[@wetsocks8378]

the pic has 6 almonds fbi open up

[@Rockmint]

My favorite food. *Praying to God*

[@jamies4775]

its says 123 ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[@jungsushi6447]

@@wetsocks8378 13:43

[@hellworm]

*i ate god*

[@jamesdempsey2128]

5 almonds: No cancer 500 almonds: Cyanide poisoning: No cancer.

[@Insert.Oregano]

So the limit is 499...?

[@a.o.8527]

Your profile picture looks like you never have bone problems

[@zorrows_tale2]

Jimbo Obmij exactly no cancer cause you won’t be here to get it 😂😂

[@nzippy422]

I said this earlier

[@crissy4445]

ALMONDS ARE INCREDIBLY BAD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT!! DON’T BUY ALMONDS! They use a ridiculous amount of water to grow (about a gallon of water to grow ONE almond) and in California huge almond farms divert water from rivers killing fish and natural life there. Almonds are also a huge contributing factor in bees going extinct, killing billions of bees per year. Bees are brought in to pollinate almond farms, die from pesticides and then they bring MORE BEES to die too! Replace almond milk with oat milk and for God’s sake DON’T BUY ALMONDS!!

[@meiguess6765]

“Head cut off? How about 4 dates” A trick that the French royalty wasn’t aware of

[@Jack-qu3qz]

Someone unlike this because 420 likes funny

[@stsalty1788]

I liked so now its 422

[@bread7610]

913 now

[@ang.mp331]

947 now

[@joud9728]

957

[@theslimeybois4696]

I know Danny will never see this and it's pretty silly but I wanna comment it anyway- About 6 months ago My pops passed away from cancer and the only thing that's made me feel at least a little better about the whole thing is this video. When he was diagnosed I was devistated but I kept saying to myself "5 almond daily no cancer" to cheer myself up.. this video got me through a lot, it gave me one laugher (only one, no more is allowed) to stop being so upset, and I know it's what he would of wanted. To not be upset about it, but to laugh instead.

[@sharkksoda]

I'm so sorry for your loss

[@sageplayz2343]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Danny really is a legend. He might just make shit up as he goes, but it's some of the funniest shit I've ever seen. Having said that, I hope you have an amazing week! :)

[@OhHiiiMark]

​@@asmoboiBoooo

[@asmoboi]

@@OhHiiiMark ill eat you

[@pannnella]

@@asmoboimods rips this guys balls off

[@decrypto5571]

- “Five almonds daily no cancer” - *proceeds to show a picture of six almonds*

[@phud69]

The account is fake. Five almonds daily no cancer, six almonds daily yes cancer

[@abic9048]

TheDecryptedDude that means extra cancer

[@fufumad1688]

I saw that too I’m-

[@DanielleMamaril]

Five almonds ensure you don’t have cancer. Six ensure your immortality. They’re just watching out for us.

[@hansfranz8795]

Same with the dates - talks about four, shows a picture of five

[@aunnaw7134]

damn, times are so tough that they’re rationing out laughter now

[@evergreen6702]

This is the best joke I've seen all day, sadly I have already used up my laughter ration

[@dddlegend8102]

one laughter per person XD

[@thekittycat64]

Evergreen 🤣

[@captaintaffy5083]

Ha

[@_melodyx]

ha

[@h.sm222]

“Let’s together healthy” is definitely a billion surprise toys song

[@westdekota5935]

@Hana sm bst isn't healthy😂

[@urfavfilmbro]

Their pista ice cream will definitely help you from getting ugly... And fat.

[@sageseancore]

let's😳🥵together👯‍♀️💕bath🧼🛁

[@AHEBDVGDHAHSCDGDH]

the klown kid pista with a almonds

[@chalklate8678]

that was so good

[@Madisongs]

13:33 I actually interpreted the almond effects as more of a stackable thing. By the time you’ve eaten 6 almonds, you would have gained all the powers of the previous almonds PLUS a weight loss buff AND effects similar to a singular aspirin pill. Once you’ve eaten your six almonds per day, you would age backward, have a boost in energy and concentration, have substantial weight loss, have healthy skin, and be immune to both heart disease and all forms of cancer. That’s just six almonds, and those are just the effects you’ve shown in this video. I’ll check out the account to see if there’s more, because I’m now VERY interested in what they think the other effects of eating almonds are.

[@slam.p]

As a fetus i can confirm this, when i was 2 i ate six almonds and immediately began to age backwards!

[@Filmcooperfan]

What are you on?

[@Madisongs]

@@Filmcooperfan the autism spectrum :3

[@revooh-hj2nu]

@@Filmcooperfan the autism spectrum

[@MegaMonkeVr]

@@slam.pyes

[@osteopod2053]

Murderer: *Kills me* Me: That wasn't very *four dates* of you.

[@angel-dh3yv]

LOL

[@myrinsk]

Osteopod HEY I KNOW YOU

[@someprimate69520]

I got one laughter from this.

[@mouse4351]

That wasn’t very daily one apple of you...

[@kalyn118]

Ima go eat my daily lemon after this laughter

[@CGZ26]

I can confirm the "5 daily almonds, no cancer". My mom did it and she had no cancers. My brother is a Gemini and I'm a Leo.

[@brooke7656]

that is a deadly combo

[@Cupids_love666]

What's your birthday?

[@arosnn]

same with my mom, i’m a gemini and my sister is a sagittarius

[@FIREcrochethairstyles]

Brilliant

[@CGZ26]

@@Cupids_love666 july 26th and my brother june 15

[@jenniferm8399]

“wow if only they could make raisins with the water built into them... that would be grape” I love that so much

[@thatonegurl7018]

Jennifer M why did I not notice that omg 🤦‍♀️

[@heatheroic]

As soon as he said that i smiled really big & said "fuck youuu" 😂

[@keziaplayz8015]

oh, shit, man.. i laughed more than once.. i- i’m gonna miss my family.. *sigh* grab the handcuffs..

[@eastoncreger4279]

Was it one sustained laugh or several laughs?

[@keziaplayz8015]

@@eastoncreger4279 several..

[@averysadpizza6714]

@@keziaplayz8015 we'll let you off for now, with a warning. don't do it again

[@RedLaundryBasket]

@@averysadpizza6714 he has still violated the law of the universe, he should and shall still be punished. But in order to find middle ground, we’ll let him off by cutting his head off. He probably already eaten 4 dates so he should be fine… you have eaten 4 dates right KeziaPlayz?

[@thisismychannel4174]

@@keziaplayz8015 how about 4 dates

[@watakashe6072]

There was no “THIS VIDEO IS OVER NOW” and it feels s o wrong

[@MercuryCat]

We can sing it ourselves: “THIS VIDEO IS OVER NOW (OVER NOW)”

[@watakashe6072]

Amanda Slocomb SO GO FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO WATCH(or just watch this video)

[@sashayaway4215]

I know we’ve had a lot of fun!

[@geekyrain5746]

Opal O'Neill (a lot of fun) BUT YOU CANT STAY ON THIS ENDSCREEN FOREVER

[@maygel]

@@geekyrain5746 (NO) THIS VIDEO IS OVER NOW (OVER NOW)

[@mollymelnick9546]

If you want more than one “HA” you have to go to Danny’s second channel, where he gets more silly.

[@wellbealright6152]

And drinks la croix

[@riskyy2657]

some poeple dont beilve me but danny gonzalez commented on my new video.

[@padmeamidala4.20]

Wait, isn’t this his second channel? He has a second channel?

[@yam2283]

Elizabeth Rascol yeah he does, it’s called Drew Gooden

[@nikeb4212]

It also gets a little bit wackier down on the second channel.

[@aviellesmyslov4094]

“Let’s together healthy” sounds like a billion surprise toy song

[@turtle407]

Here Johnny have a broccoli, now lets together healthy

[@ketaminekitty555]

leTs toGetHer BatH

[@watermelonplaysyt8999]

Equestrian Avielle XD so true

[@sharonbuckler]

Yesss billion surprise toys is legendary😂

[@itgetsworsetm9856]

Together corona

[@botcore]

it's been two years and i still haven't made it to the end of the video because i use up my one (1) laughter on "why's my wife such a bitch" every time

[@ThaiDyeOSC]

try again now

[@noahluvrr]

have you done it yet

[@HelloImCotten]

have you done it by now? You might have already gotten cancer if you didnt see what your supposed to do

[@chemikalk1d]

have you finished the video

[@achattyindividual]

dude did you finish it?

[@vimalravindran1055]

"they should try making raisins that have water built into them" "that would be GRAPE"

[@LeoSphinx]

same lol 🤣🤣🤣

[@Belieber713]

i think this is my favourite joke Danny has ever made

[@tierralanae2205]

I love his corny jokes.. that's totally his swag lmao

[@Princelyspace61]

It's grap not grape

[@labyrinthine444]

@@Princelyspace61 what

[@bigscorchy4034]

Me: allergic to almonds Cancer: it’s free real estate

[@gremlin3447]

That made me wheeze 😂

[@kasey3105]

Bro I’m allergic to almonds too!

[@ZappyVan]

@@gremlin3447 geez calm down it's not that funny

[@mrditkovich4691]

And not only I'm afraid of almonds I'm also afraid of eating peanuts as well

[@Slipperyslab]

Zapp humor is subjective...now take off your clothes

[@nikolaiestrella6785]

"Raisin water" is one of the single most disgusting phrases I've ever heard.

[@Asherg0723]

Nikolai Estrella I literally vomited when I heard raisin water, I am being serious, I don’t mean figuratively.

[@Jensenrobinb]

Wine is disgusting

[@suolva8742]

yes , grapes are G r o s s

[@kantermorris3420]

Blood purification sound like a kinky marketing campaign

[@nessa3025]

*insert bratz ew scene*

[@Kraxel-North]

5:43 "That's a nice argument, senator. Why don't you back it up with a source?" "My source is that I made it the fuck up."

[@nopeunid]

I have spent more than a year eating nothing but almonds and I can say that I have turned back into a baby, an invincible baby. Someone even tried hitting me with a medieval battle axe but I ate 20 almonds that day so the axe broke. To say my family is confused and concerned is an understatement.

[@Lucifersfursona]

Doctors hate and fear them

[@rae7864]

LOOL your family is concerned 😂🙏

[@ostrichrangular1451]

Relatable

[@joannamuller2790]

😂😎 well done?

[@Princelyspace61]

I start eating almonds now

[@darthontheviking7592]

“They should try making raisins with the water built into them... That would be grape.” Killed me.

[@atara500]

I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THAT LMAOAOAOAOOA

[@hackysack5046]

Probably should have followed the advice then huh

[@AD-cy4vj]

Literally a grape

[@olliistrytheirbest4631]

“5 almonds a day no cancer” Maybe they mean the zodiac sign, like you just walk in a room you see your friend snacking on almonds and if you’re a cancer u just *adios*

[@estinsidebottom]

As A Zodiac Scientist I Can Confirm This Is True

[@justsomedude3511]

as a cancer, i can confirm this is true

[@savtoocool3998]

Airiwiqq

[@estinsidebottom]

@@savtoocool3998 ???

[@strawberryamythest6889]

Yep *walks into my friends room and she's eating almonds.* me: Welp *YEET*

[@darthxader1112]

I’m so sorry Danny I had so much more than one laughter

[@attackehhh]

Oopsies! What a pity. Now follow me to the Silencing Room.

[@Fox_With0u1-PawZ]

Oh no. It has begun...

[@taeliaspencer4845]

Danny has been eating almonds and that’s why he looks so young. He has already begun his Benjamin button journey

[@killerwhale2518]

Literally every nine yr old that’s seen Benjamin button thAt MeaNs HE iS oLd

[@ehbepbepbepbepbep4756]

Jokes on them I’m allergic to almonds 😎

[@emilytrost4123]

*drew

[@odiliamillan5632]

𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓽𝓱𝔂

[@dantom1]

What do you mean? He is 12?

[@_aje]

Scientists need to study Danny. He has somehow managed to find the fountain of youth. He looks at least 10 years younger than he actually is. It's unbelievable.

[@Monsternutz]

He just eats his almonds bro

[@ph1l0phob1a]

lmfao 💀🤚

[@AshaSara]

we need his skincare routine

[@rhubarbdude3347]

I think he just ate 2 - 3 almonds daily

[@LPSGO84]

It's just the almonds

[@scabillis]

What if Danny just kept switching around the g’s in “Greg” and we just had no idea.

[@RyanTosh]

Why did you have to,,,why would you even...how could...wat

[@adeer87]

I didn’t want to have this thought in my brain.

[@mariah_the_mnm]

Don’t f up my brain more than quaran math has already

[@2012Zyle]

how do we know if any of those letters are the same? What if he has an extra set of every letter and swaps them out between videos...

[@swordingthefirst6094]

Whats up greG

[@eastoncreger4279]

Death himself: it is time to go Danny Danny: *zooms in on Danny's mouth* how. About. FOUR DATES.

[@redRuxx]

Danny zooming in on danny

[@ilikecurry2345]

Y'ever notice that in this era of his videos, he zooms in on his mouth a lot, in fact?

[@its_doovey]

“Wives wanna eat their husbands!” Female praying mantises: *well,*

[@ellaskystabber9655]

Lol

[@ellaskystabber9655]

Funny

[@ellaskystabber9655]

Haha

[@youdroppedsomething4334]

@@ellaskystabber9655 yes

[@dweebingdailey5795]

insect jokes on danny gonzalez videos. this is where i belong

[@valx5]

“ they should try making raisins that have the water built into them. that would be *G R A P E* “

[@aprilvanpelt884]

resurrection grapes

[@idazaar]

I was looking for this comment 😂

[@imzipperoni]

@Justin Nowaczynski kids, drink wine.

[@avid_toxicity2324]

nko. Stop I already had my one laugh today

[@krypt0xar532]

@@avid_toxicity2324 laughter*

[@jslegoproductions4633]

“Raisins with water built into them... that would be grape”

[@RNG-esus]

glad im not the only one that caught that

[@frosty_teacup]

@@RNG-esus sorry I'm a little confused, what is there to catch? I thought it was pretty clear lol

[@elwn.]

JSlego Productions humans are grapes then

[@Sophia-et3xv]

@@frosty_teacup boi

[@koolkevster8199]

@@frosty_teacup cause it also sounds like "that would be great" but still the joke is pretty obvious

[@voiduscatus]

“5 almonds a day, no cancer” Me who was born in early July: *nervous sweating*

[@berhonkusbardledoo]

Ok that’s actually really funny lol

[@Mirala0618]

Fitness corner: 5 almond daily no cancer People with nut allergies: 5 almond daily anaphylactic shock

[@jessicamessica6327]

The dates will fix that.

[@dhruvaharit6385]

I mean, you won't get cancer if you die because of allergies

[@hehe-cq6vj]

@@dhruvaharit6385 very true, but maybe you can also get a bonus cancer. You can only win in this game of healthy

[@Peepeepoopoo5543]

Bruh would u rather have cancer or anaphylactic shock

[@Nonexistent_creature]

2 OUNCES OF ANTIFREEZE WILL KEEP THE CORONA VIRUS AWAY

[@frogsreprettycool2146]

Guy gets shot by robber 36 times* Robber: how are you not dead? Guy: *slowly eating almonds while making eye contact*

[@pandapooh1668]

Sandwichguy270 Animations oh man this comment really got me 😂😂

[@EM-wo6wf]

LMAO

[@sparkleunicorncats]

Lmao

[@krompy8221]

Robber: how are you not dead? Guy: i came prepared bitchboy >:)

[@cjmyoyo]

I actually think dates would be best for this situation.

[@craigory9826]

Almonds: *exists* Cancer: *Why do I hear boss music?*

[@checkit2429]

Mr room foam

[@craigory9826]

@@checkit2429 rabies

[@checkit2429]

@@craigory9826 flamenco

[@craigory9826]

@@checkit2429 bro I love the dance

[@checkit2429]

@@craigory9826 ?

[@Indigo-ns3hd]

One Danny a day, no depression

[@Em3r4ld.xx.St4rz]

Umm It would probably be worded like: “One danny daily, no depressed”

[@Anita-og1wb]

Now we know Danny's secret of looking like a highschooler: he eats his 10 almonds daily

[@pretty948]

And 4 dates

[@lavender_heart3831]

No 4 dates

[@shxhebx2039]

@peroh hol'up

[@mayuzzolina5183]

xd

[@nikachinful]

almond*

[@arianalunnar9950]

“1glass of milk a day, no bone problems” ok tell that to my scoliosis

[@morganwhite1773]

Isobel Turner AHAHAHA ME TOO

[@Stone016]

No more bones getting squishy

[@bel4y]

I bet ur sitting like this | \ /

[@stav338]

maybe you need to drink more milk😅

[@avaredfern2275]

just drink milk everyday and it will go away

[@Maya-ub4cb]

But the “5 almond Daily No Cancer,” picture has 6 almonds.

[@chinghaching5352]

No, Almonds have six eyes

[@The-S-H3lf-Eater]

**Confused Screaming**

[@cq.cumber_offishial]

Extra healthy, how do healthy extra? This is do how indeed; Step 1: hibfhukbchiubdewiuyviguavgyvajhvqugvcjdguvukhb fvijobesfijobhhvkcviuhsxvukhvkugxczvwuhvkuyvqukhkuuhabqhbhilaqbkhiqljinjiqqnkjlnsjiosdpsdpdwhcbkjhabqobkjbodvaboihqsdcbuoheqbfvuheavfbohuvfenijwrvfmvkchidnhidvbhfvbugfheguwegohiheiuhbsueuhyrhuyrurikbcihvxgcdiljleihouhsdkuhcvhukvdbsaouhbsadhuovihcbvbhvzhubdlinjonvojnvkvllplhwkvhhbdeuhbvfuhbfvhujrfbygdfugyudfgiyguyidgifdgiyucgdiuyvxugvztvAytviiytqvgiyqiuuqwgviwguvigudwbuihdfvbiuhbdgwboiunvewvkflpfdwoiwiu UH ieoskvfjpokfb,okpewpowoqekwwefkjbvefuiwnieuwfowelfjovbhousdbcowhusbhuowbuhivew uih weigh. Ewuohniohwvhoiewufhouiwhoi. Step 2: cbhuibcygibyguvaugyvygvauvyguvquyuhjsdsvdfibrefhiobdfwiuhvcewfiuhgvweiuybfpdpdokxbhiuywbdocahvceduhbewfiuhbweihubvfewuivevfuigvwdfiyubewfvuiywbvefuhivbwfehuiALMONDjrjvjlnjbuihviuhsbhiubjuvjgubhuicbihubdchkubduhkwbkhuwdksdiiuqhqjbahibvuiphhcepwopweijcbiodbfwhiobaegewfghfrhiobfruiobfrhiobwehiobowihefbiuh bhukwvbkhuwoiqbDRINKMILKqbldjiblwiehdbckiheqbueakhbufkhfebkuh. Step 3: done

[@starriyana]

Lazaro Izquierdo I’m still fat

[@cq.cumber_offishial]

Arisavageee oh, you did the not do step 3; you have to "done", as in the action do!

[@sylvydraws]

sometimes when im sad i get 5 almonds and say "5 almonds daily no cancer" and eat them. truely this video has changed my life. thank you, danny gorpzolaz

[@TheKatti5000]

Fun fact: Bitter almonds contain small amounts of cyanide, and eating 30 of them could get you poisoned. That is not a problem with regular almonds you can buy from stores, as they are a different variant of almonds and not poisonous, but these posts never specified which almonds you should eat. I feel like if you eat 30 bitter almonds every day, you won't have to worry about any of these issues, because you'll slowly poison yourself to death.

[@maninwaiting326]

It only takes 15 to kill you. So....

[@ragmamale4783]

@@maninwaiting326 .....

[@johnsonjaikaichow9972]

Is this true?

[@maninwaiting326]

@@johnsonjaikaichow9972 yes. And its really only 15. Sweet almonds are fine to eat and its really hard to find bitter almonds.

[@arandomfruitinthejungle4728]

time to eat 300 a day for 1 day

[@melissalonla]

I love how Danny interpreted “no weakness” as having no weaknesses, not weakness as in fatigue

[@n1c3gu7]

no

[@limeedhot]

@@SvaroAsano 576 likes, 2 comments

[@PrunselClone]

@@limeedhot 670 likes 3 comments

[@limeedhot]

@@PrunselClone 672 likes 4 comments

[@ultrastorychannel]

​@@limeedhot 712 likes and 5 comments

[@mileyfan0798]

who’s gonna let danny know that it’s 100% some indian uncle’s account

[@jessica-nd8ku]

You will

[@hijabahmed5998]

The way that i knew just by looking at the thumbnail

[@aditivsagar]

@@hijabahmed5998 and the 3 idiots meme format lol

[@manikarnikasharma8110]

of course

[@LittleMissMia123]

came to the comments just to make this comment THANK YOU

[@Mirrored33]

One thing I love about Danny and his channel is that he is always neutral, kind, and funny. Not only him though, the gregs in the comments are the same way and that’s why I love this community💗

[@luisoflbcmediareviews4907]

My friend ate 3 almonds a day. He died of cancer. Should have eaten 4. You’re Welcome.

[@lillygun3690]

Luis of LBC Media Reviews but why didn’t he just turn back into a baby?

[@goldlara2475]

@@lillygun3690 that only works if you eat 2

[@inkstain3562]

smh i hate hearing preventable deaths like this it always makes me cry

[@KamilDeKerel]

No 5, 4 are for heart diseases so he still would have died

[@chromerudolf8502]

Goldlara 24 it says 2-3

[@wesley5723]

Danny: How boys sit The ad disrupting Danny: Boys sit like they’re on a bike....

[@guynameddibin]

When Danny sat on the chair, the ad that popped up on the video was a food-delivery ad, thinking he will say, "How girls sit.." then a video of fried chicken

[@thehawkmanlyguy3133]

WJB I got a manscaped ad

[@thetinypotatobun]

4:37

[@roryroadss6260]

Levi Ackerman i’m just here to compliment your attack on titan stuff

[@kazooblw]

Coin.. master.. ad..

[@jackrollins2847]

"They should try making raisins with the water built in to them" "That would be grape" Greatest pun I've heard in a while.

[@maggiev3059]

grapest pun

[@djdjdjdn898]

That lion thing was funny to me, because I think the context of that photo was meant to be a lioness protecting cubs since sometimes the lions/fathers try to munchy-munch on them.

[@octocrane3155]

I just imagine a paramedic just rushes in with almonds in a pill bottle dealing with someone who has leukemia or if they inject milk inside of someone who sprained their ankle or dislocated their thumb

[@Emma_The_H0ppin_H00ligan]

I MISREAD PARAMEDIC AS PARMESEAN OMG

[@Stickiestboi]

*broke ankle

[@antisocialbred]

my bread brain can’t process a bit of what this says but i agree

[@janetmcnugget]

e a t a l m o n d

[@wyattgray5863]

@@Emma_The_H0ppin_H00ligan I Regretti my Spaghetti

[@marconi1906]

why is no one talking about how raisin water is literally grape juice

[@Meckolo]

wine

[@theothewinkie174]

"they should make raisins with water already built into them. that would be Grape."

[@Dr.Ticklenuts]

So grape juice is raisin water

[@oldacocimt3]

coffee is just bean water

[@deborahl3083]

Literally just grapes. I’m dying.

[@therealsharktime]

Had to stop after 3 minutes. I had one laughter. I Couldn't have any more.

[@iamme3941]

Daily dose of laughter. Hashtag laughter. Ha.

[@PickleMansLawyer]

One laughter*

[@KitKatPadsta]

Thomas had seen it all. He now could live in peace and finally rest.

[@eidechsearts]

Same, ha

[@wxrthz]

good job. only one laughter remember

[@adenmahad1780]

"They got my legend ass" really got me

[@radiotelevision2371]

My 6 rounds of chemotherapy didn’t cure my cancer, no. It was those 5 almonds I ate

[@bluerose536]

Should have ate those almonds before you got cancer, man. Would have saved ya a lot of trouble.

[@radiotelevision2371]

@@bluerose536 tell me about it

[@sanitizer__]

👁👄👁gosh darn it *USHOULDVE EATEN THEM, BEFORE THE CANCER!*

[@SomeGuy-xd5fn]

So youre saying it was cured, which means the 5 almonds worked. Therefore it doesnt matter if you have the almonds before or after

[@h_o_m_i_and_his_180sx]

cant have cancer if your dead which is why I choose to work at the CPKO Cancer Patient Killer Organization

[@gaminglil8147]

For some reason Danny’s outfit reminds me that he’s an actually person

[@lexi-rb9cs]

Gaming Lil no he’s not

[@codythompson9750]

thats what he wants you to think

[@Lilyjem39]

Wrong

[@MarkCJo]

You spelt drew wrong

[@larko2717]

I think you mean "he's an actual person."

[@grantkank]

Let’s together healthy

[@Leiles2031]

While our bones get squishy

[@Heyguyz132]

@@Leiles2031 but dolphin man comes to save you

[@aha7304]

@@Heyguyz132 by using a life hack he learned from troom troom

[@Heyguyz132]

@@aha7304 while spanking bears

[@aha7304]

@@Heyguyz132 and becoming a level 50 thicc wizard

[@M4rsIsR0tteN]

man, I really want to see one of those reality shows where its like a bunch of people forced to be roommates or whatever, but its Michael Jordan, Gandhi, and George Washington. That would be epic.

[@meowmeow3532]

may i recommend a show called clone high

[@MoUcHeE23]

I have the same personality type as Gandhi, so that would be very interesting for me to watch. I would be bouncing in my seat, LOL!

[@dannypizzarolls1008]

Me: *laughs twice* Danny: your free trial of being alive has ended.

[@Nirufion1975]

r/madlads

[@arandomstreetcat]

@@Nirufion1975 r/sjkakaiaoqjqja

[@coolbeansqueen]

r/ohgodfuckmyspineithurts

[@teachmehowtodougie.mp3997]

r/bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[@railroadrat]

lol

[@jdhorror]

I love how you just completely slipped over the fact that the "5 almonds" pic has 6 almonds, and the "4 dates" pic has 5 dates.

[@honeysickle]

He can't recognize numbers remember?

[@alexkitty149]

Hrrrr hrrrr what number

[@luna_5975]

Let’s all eat almonds and dates everyday and then we will not only be the fastest growing army but also be invincible

[@yooseul__]

Luna _ Great plan

[@makaylaknoop2357]

Yes perfect

[@candidandi2695]

They betyer be ready for Greg

[@Iron678Maiden]

Dates are gross

[@superepicgaming3535]

I am ready

[@PhenomenonAnimates]

Dude i love danny gonzalez videos ngl ive watched like every single one on furious and this one im truly greg

[@clarissacortez250]

When you’ve wasted your one laughter so all you can do is scroll through the comments 😔

[@KoSXxPotatisbarnetXD]

Hopefully this video isn't to funny, it's going to take years to get through it with only one laughter a day

[@neravien]

Wasted*

[@ohwowie8745]

"Anything else you want to say, Edward?" King Henry growled, leaning back in his throne. The pathetic boy in the guillotine had no expression. He knew this would happen eventually. There was silence. The king always knew Edward was the quiet type, even during his execution. Who knew stealing from his old friend would blow up in his face like this. "Very well then." The king glanced at the executioner, nodding his head and confirming it was time to let go of the rope. The blade came down. The crowd went silent. Edward's head was still on his body. He looked fine. In fact, he was smiling. Had it not worked? "What is the meaning of this?!" Henry sneered, standing up and walking towards his enemy. Edward's face held the same smile as he looked the king in the eyes. *"I ate 4 dates."* Don't ask why I spent time on this

[@vikr7787]

Underrated comment right here 🗿

[@junob1253]

true art

[@meyes1617]

art in its finest form

[@mancillamarie]

damn i was immersed

[@emilyjdgv6095]

Put this on Wattpad NOW

[@LaVaZ000]

5 Almonds = No cancer 10 Almonds = *Invincibility*

[@idkwholizzieis]

*30 almonds

[@Mia_Milo222]

No you need to eat four dates for invincibility

[@predzelbun2646]

You mean to tell me I've been this close all along? All these years I've been eating 9 almonds....

[@crossplayed]

Gameshack 40 almonds: GOD LIKE

[@ashistrash994]

200 almonds: you ascend and become a god

[@kottonkaine_official]

it's almost 2am on a Sunday night there's school tomorrow why am I on the bathroom floor watching a four year old danny gonzales video I have so much work to do

[@_.Brii._]

Rest in peace man

[@Nick-nh5cr]

Husband got shocked while reading his wife’s report card 1.Pee in her mouth 2.DIVORCE

[@yeetmetothemoon2122]

Pee in her mouth: 20 diamonds divorce: 0 diamonds Your diamonds: 0

[@feliiihh.]

@@yeetmetothemoon2122 o h no

[@dolphinman4309]

yes

[@noraspingarn5846]

BAHAHA

[@plaguedr6748]

1

[@lisemagic208]

Where it says “eat 5 almonds a day” there are 6 almonds pictured. That’s how you know it’s bad advice

[@HundWasser]

*good

[@poppywood641]

an overdose

[@ZijnShayatanica]

AND THERE'S FIVE DATES.

[@pipergambarella4179]

on the “4 dates daily, no weakness” there were 5 dates 😂

[@safiyat17]

But they only just now figured out maths.

[@OsmSkylandersCheats]

The reason Danny looks 16 is because he eats almonds every day

[@dayaneperez8086]

Yes

[@kimberlysmalls6050]

And he also drinks raisin water

[@coolbrotherf127]

He needs some hair on his face too

[@claire4983]

danny exposed

[@replynator5774]

Yes he eats 16 years old teens everyday

[@Bug-hn8mz]

So you’re telling me that if my mom had eaten 5 almonds a day then she wouldn’t have gotten breast cancer

[@sharkarchives3180]

If only you'd seen this video before.. 😔

[@redRuxx]

yes

[@The_Eevee_Breeder]

Felt that 😔

[@stabbed.pineapple3717]

It's too bad this video didn't come out when I was 2 I could've saved my dad

[@Stupid_Neko_Gamer]

@@stabbed.pineapple3717 Rest in peace to your father. 😔

[@promisekathleen565]

As a girl I can confirm that is in fact how we sit.

[@Cat-yx7xc]

Hey girl

[@alrightanimations2207]

Same

[@mluu781]

@@Cat-yx7xc I'm trynna to type "hey man" back with my foot but instead, I got "ג ואנחנו לא רוצים"

[@opheebopgobrrrr6068]

We sit like we are summoning the underground lord himself, yeah

[@sarahjin4992]

Indeed. This is why we sit all day, because it's hard to stand up due to too many limbs.

[@ava5118]

“Wife is wife, no matter who you are” -one laughter please

[@shashikalapatel9577]

Ha

[@chiarazani1290]

Ha

[@basicallystevenuniverse511]

Ha

[@lone_stick]

Ha ha WAIT SH

[@ava5118]

@Crrpt Tan thank you for ONLY giving one laughter. Remember you cannot laugh for the rest of the day! You are only allowed one.

[@jillpeb]

“5 almonds daily, no cancer” people with nut allergies:

[@ziqqyziqqy]

oof

[@lanlan7730]

The pain of nut allergies I’m going to get cancer now:(

[@manimaman]

Well guess you have cancer

[@migzzz831]

Which nut?

[@maxietheguy2761]

Technically you still don't have cancer

[@seankane1572]

I like how 5 almond daily, no cancer has a picture of 6 almonds

[@zoeyc3855]

Me: *Gets hit by car* Grim Reaper: *Walks towards me* Me: "Um, I'm sorry, but there must be a mistake. I ate four dates this morning." Grim Reaper: "Oh! Sorry about that." *Walks away*

[@chunkydoggie189yearsago3]

Zoe C lol

[@chaoticunknown7317]

Lmao

[@dasdasdaxzvea]

Me: falls out of window Grim reaper: *COMES* me"i ate four dates today" Grim reaper: "sorry" *walks away*

[@Ekulstein]

666th like

[@toxiccatron867]

L D you are cursed

[@incognitoburrito7458]

Friend: hey, I think you should stop smoking, you can get cancer you know Me: That’s okay, I eat 5 almonds

[@ignoremelol2576]

Don’t do that you know.... Eating 5 almonds is not enough you must eat *6* you f*cking disgrace

[@gryffindornim]

STEVE NGUYEN no 8 silly

[@gryffindornim]

Starrynight oh i forgot!! (And your a f*cking dumbass it’s ♾

[@TSDTalks22]

Starrynight these people are all idiots, obviously you need to eat 5 peanuts, not almonds

[@gryffindornim]

TSD Tom oh yeah your right

[@jeremytewari3346]

Petition for Danny to write a song about almonds

[@idontknowanything1203]

Yes!!! Next album healthy is gooood

[@dsheridan9617]

The sequal to the hit song: yummy

[@_sleepy_head11]

Y e s

[@darthmasterwindu9481]

Yesss

[@bobaboy4620]

Yesss

[@sapphosgirlfriend]

"have you had your laughter yet?" gets me everytime lmao

[@frogee2725]

grim reaper: it's time to go danny: how about.... FOUR DATES?

[@Handsomebitchonfire]

Grim reaper: *blushes* how about just one for now. Pick u up at eight

[@Lucifersfursona]

I for one would love to go on four dates with the grim reaper Actually fuck it, more than four dates I am in love with you bone man

[@toothfairy10133]

the new anime dating sim: do you believe in love after life?

[@ahobbit1273]

I mean, this is how Taako avoided death lol

[@k.v.7681]

@@Lucifersfursona phrasing...

[@hannahkennedy24]

OK BUT CAN WE TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE THIS JOKE PLEASE: "They should try making raisins with water built into them. That would be grape". 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@tay_yo561]

I thought the same thing lol

[@Kinwies]

I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE SAID GRAPE HAHAHAH

[@maxinefinnfoxen]

My mom asked why I was snickering so much x)

[@maddie9334]

*moment of silence for that joke*

[@dosharathlll429]

Very slept on

[@thedjdan]

Danny has reached the epitome of quirky. Instead of saying “to” he now using the more gangster version of just the number 2.

[@noopthenoop]

quirky danny mr quirk

[@creature-ytb]

to*

[@graaaah9080]

he quirk

[@gxyrd]

i do the same thing but just cuz im lazy and it makes my bad grammar look intentional

[@saint4life09]

He do be quirky doe

[@lilyfitzgerald8971]

This video gives old man who takes everything literally and I’m thriving from it (I went over the laughter limit )

[@aurumisgreat]

I laughed through the entirety of the video. However, it wasn't multiple laughs, it was one laugh and then I struggled to breathe for the next 14 minutes

[@idontknoq4813]

YOU AREN'T ALLOWED LAUGH, ONLY LAUGHTER!

[@yenvuu]

only one laughter a day

[@monetisationsign7809]

You made me waste my laughter now I have to go to sleep for the rest of the day and WAIT till tomorrow

[@georgiaprivate9069]

Danny: We could all be a bit more healthy during these times. Me, sat in bed eating half a cheesecake for dinner: Yeah, it’s important for us all look after our bodies right now

[@meredithgrace2292]

Golden Fireworks damn cheesecake sounds hella good rn

[@ItsBunnyBuns]

Vibe

[@xXxRebeccaRawrxXx]

me who ate half a bag of potato chips for breakfast: take care of urselfs :))))

[@thatguyenzoo]

Golden Fireworks me stuffing my face with 4 starburst thinking I made a new flavor

[@georgiaprivate9069]

Meredith Grace Dude it was salted caramel, it was GLORIOUS

[@laureen83]

Job interviewer: So what are your weaknesses? Me: * eats 4 dates * I don't have any.

[@Thawah]

LMFAOOO

[@leighluvslavender1101]

ℓмασ

[@callmeqt1269]

Laureen alternative setup: Job Interviewer: “What are your strengths and weaknesses?” Me after eating four dates: “You mean what are my strengths?”

[@myakhlom3960]

But just for a day

[@laureen83]

@@callmeqt1269 lol

[@denisedenise2231]

12:41 I slowed the playback speed so I could count these. Danny, you did 10. Also Danny on slow-mo is next level 💀.

[@AlanaFosterTheLlama]

When Danny is genuinely funny but you're only allowed 1 daily laugh so after the few couple of minutes the video becomes a try not to laugh challenge

[@purplesmartiez]

laughter*

[@maddieeleanor]

Alana Foster frick i laughed at this so the whole video is a try not to laughter challenge

[@darz4720]

laughter

[@dedshade]

Yes

[@bekahnavarro]

Watching this videos going to take a while then.

[@sleepyone444yes7]

I can’t wait until social distancing is over so we can “let’s together bath”.

[@stardust27274]

Sleepyone444 Yes billion surprise toys: *Let’s Together Health Song*

[@lucabahica329]

Yad

[@jjbop5060]

oh me too, i can barely wait

[@whomsthasawakentheanciento7725]

I can't wait to together bath

[@deannaradd]

I can’t wait to slide and come

[@Marianiki2002]

My friend: *Eats 5 almonds* Me, a cancer: *Evaporates into thin air*

[@ameliagrady]

HAJEHFBEOWUHENFN

[@sagetheperson3295]

As a cancer I choked 😂😂

[@bendriscoll]

@@sagetheperson3295 How do you exist? I ate an almond today.

[@sagetheperson3295]

Ben Driscoll you didn’t eat enough

[@averybaravik7213]

An almond a day keeps the cancers away

[@NotLogicaI]

Arguably the student has the best position in that situation. In school we’re constantly being taught that our mistakes are not bad but learning opportunities. That is not reinforced at all when you get into the workforce.

[@ethanz6993]

Danny: only 1 laughter me: *laughs twice* Stop! you have violated the law

[@mayehoffman4253]

You filthy scumbag

[@plasmaticlmao]

Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence!

[@ryan_69420]

*The council will decide your fate*

[@Wolv1es]

Police brutality, stop resisting

[@user-cz9mq8vp1c]

if you were a politician, laughing twice would've become legal

[@humangarbage3019]

Sometimes I forget this dude isn’t 17 and is married and has his own house.

[@attiasprouse682]

And Apple Watch. And Tesla.

[@viv4440]

Ikr like I thought Laura was his sister 😭

[@michimonster5031]

Same

[@miles5173]

Bruh same lol

[@aidan6960]

@@viv4440 sweet home Alabama

[@BurneyDeux]

So no one’s gonna talk about how there were 6 almonds?

[@shlokaashukla8597]

and 5 dates

[@mewexum7554]

And on the six almond picture. There were three

[@riskyy2657]

some poeple dont beilve me but danny gonzalez commented on my new video.

[@yoursleepparalysisdemon9714]

Riskyy Which video of yours?

[@kimora69]

they fucking lied

[@sarah_0530]

I'm allergic to nuts and now I'm going to get cancer, headaches, be obeise, have dull hair, have dry rough skin, have no concentration, be lazy, get heart disease AND get old all because I can't eat 30 almonds a day😟

[@rowangoodmann3069]

There there... A glass of water? 🥛

[@cheese9506]

same guess we'll die together

[@aliss8771]

same. im also allergic to nuts.

[@sarah_0530]

See y'all in the afterlife I guess haha

[@mr.doppit2188]

Want some Almond Milk

[@Illugiv]

When he said “scientists should make raisins with water built into them, that would be “grape.” Instead of great really made my day for no reason in particular.

[@juanfacundomartinez]

But then you can squeeze their juice and have their power, grape juice. Same same but diffrent

[@BBBert.]

Doctor: you have cancer Me: but I ate 5 almonds Doctor: shit well I guess you don’t have cancer

[@mmminister9738]

There's 6 almonds on the picture.

[@beccabradley6002]

who tf needs chemo chemos for pussies only the cool kids eat almonds

[@abusepig5606]

Becca Bradley YEAH, I’m sure drew would agree with that!

[@salem-01]

U Really Suck oh my god-

[@liIysstuff]

4:40 my all time FAVORITE danny clip (i fell off my bed when i watched this part of the video for the first time 😭)

[@mimo5615]

danny: i cant do math also danny: *calculates the exact amount of almonds he has to eat to become god*

[@SaUs4g3]

Ever heard of a calcuator

[@confusedasian9682]

He ate the almond so he can do math

[@SaUs4g3]

@@confusedasian9682 That makes no sense

[@mythgrl6292]

But wouldn’t the smaller # of almonds benefits be included in the 12?

[@destinee7326]

“They should make raisins with the water built into them..” “That would be grape”

[@skittles212]

This is the best pun of 2020. I'm calling it

[@zacandashleys1fan]

Yes... that was the joke he was making... but he didn’t say grape... he only implied it... which made it funny...

[@evanolivo8822]

Actually made me laugh😂

[@nehan.5797]

lexicon jordan no its bc grape sounds like great silly

[@EvilKermit21]

it was best laugh ha

[@imsad3630]

“Wine” Me, an intellectual: R a i s i n W a t e r

[@slplssgr]

Why did you have to curse me with this

[@iolanda_liang]

I don’t-

[@shoshitaketakeyani3275]

GalaxyArt- John Laurens technically , you aren't wrong

[@salem-01]

R/technicallythetruth

[@alexasalnicov5640]

I read wine as wife and was so confused for like 30 seconds

[@Totally_Bonkers]

"that would be grape" is the best joke i've heard all day