How To Have Difficult Conversations || Mayim Bialik

[@vic6081]

2 things; #1. Your makeup is on point. #2. I wish I could chat and have coffee with you.

[@cicelygardner2141]

My first thoughts

[@CMilagros18]

"uh... how about get married? oh they don't do that either." killed me 😂

[@carlgreisheimer5278]

I'm sure there are alot of guys that would marry MAYIM, just not ROB. I saw ROB's "friends" section on his FACEBOOK account. He had alot of FEMALE friends, so I guess he can have his "NEEDS" met by other women besides MAYIM.

[@annabelyates5219]

I can't even have regular conversations let alone difficult ones...

[@lookwhatyoumademedo1998]

This lady here really never fails to amaze me! Authentic,funny and so full of wit! Probably the most down to earth person I have ever seen! #truerolemodel

[@emsisrbc]

"Emotionally naked" - I'm stealing this.

[@darrelltblake]

Difficult conversations are not possible unless people are honest with themselves. Most people are not, so the conversation goes bad!

[@soskika419]

So true!!!

[@mayukochang1180]

Every single words from your mouth is describing the world in the right way, which makes me feel soo comfortable, so I’m thankful that you’re existing.. lol

[@Parmesana]

Since finding out 3 years ago that the reason that I was "broken" was being raised by a narcissist mother..conversations and confrontations are very difficult. My 'normal' is definitely not other's 'normal'. I agree that communications is extremely important

[@jarodkristopher5538]

Love love love the content Mayim you are a shining example of how our generation grew into the most open generation ever love you so much

[@Saintfan24]

As a guy I feel like society expects me to be much less emotional and more confident. That’s hard for me to do since I’m very sensitive and prone to be too caring.

[@msv.4438]

Every video of yours is so helpful and informative....thank you for your honesty...!!

[@messyjesse5007]

I really needed this. I can relate with this in so many levels. I always feel like I am horrible in relationships and don't know how to speak out my feelings.

[@jihyepark9139]

I'm working on my Master's degree in Math Education now, ang she's one of the reasons. Before I was ok that I have already a license in teaching like I can teach now so i don't need more. I do am planning pursuing my Master's degree but I'm a really hesitant. However, now I'm 100% percent that i will have a Master's degree , then pursuing my doctorate in Mathematics. Like one step at a time.

[@ayidas]

Ugh I despise difficult conversations. I think I have gotten a lot better at them, because I have learned how to process my feelings quicker and address the issue at hand in a more timely manner. My go to method now is directness (but I am still always very polite and respectful). However, if that is not the other person's go to method, they may feel challenged by it. Also in general it is just so frustrating to be misunderstood and it takes a lot for me to "let it go" when I feel like my intentions/character have been questioned. I appreciate the tips though and they do give me something to consider.

[@ellenhooper7921]

“Am I clingy,am I needy,am I pathetic”-Mayim That’s exactly how I feel like when I have a conversation in texting and that person takes a while to respond.I always overreact and think that exact thought except add the “am I annoying,did I make him/her mad?”to the end.

[@TieDyedSquishy]

Mutual understanding is AWESOME! 💗💗

[@willowwillis154]

Haha I may be beyond my generation (90s/y2k kids) but I use "Going steady", It seems hip to me! :)

[@alandvatter73]

Just found your channel and I am so happy I did! I am listening to this book and wow, its so simple and really helpful. Thank you for recommending it!

[@muddpie4785]

Hey Mayim! As always, great vid! Buuuut ....some of us have already discovered the awesomeness that is Audible, but would buy the book since we can't get the new member deal. IF we knew what the book was called. So, what's the name of the book?? Love you!

[@MayimBialik]

Full title with author is in the video description! Difficult Conversations: How To Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone

[@muddpie4785]

LOL Now you know why I LISTEN to audiobooks... and your videos. Apparently I'm such a good listener I've forgotten how to READ. :-P

[@muddpie4785]

Yep. Apparently I've become such a fan of listening to audiobooks and Mayim's videos that I've forgotten how to read. :-P

[@bgsquiggy]

Everything wants a friend like Mayim.

[@sakunaruful]

Thank you, Mayim! I really needed to hear this.

[@pybpinkyellowblue7454]

I love your videos. I don’t always agree, but I appreciate you thoughtfulness, humour, and clear arguments. You make me think. Conversations are always difficult for me. I don’t understand social cues, so a simple conversation can go wildly awkward and I don’t even know it. It’s actually kinda funny this is the first video in my feed. Last night I was talking to the universe and the conversation went like this: Me: the first video I watch tomorrow I’ll comment, becuase I want to start being a part of the KZbin community. Universe: I have the perfect video for you! Next morning: Universe: Lol, have a vid about difficult conversations, you anxiety riddled person who has trouble with normal convos. Me: well....awkward.... um...challenged accepted.

[@SynthApprentice]

"But he doesn't like to read." There's your problem, right there.

[@carlgreisheimer5278]

He would rather play those electronic games. If I had someone like MAYIM in my life, I wouldn't waste my time with those games.

[@janicekrol8320]

The beginning of this video 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 🤣🤣Why is it soooo hard for people to commit? As a person who over analyzes EVERYTHING the one thing I never do is hold back on conversations. Life is to short not to express feelings or know how others are feeling ☺️

[@kristinar.6600]

We're the rare strong enough ones to yet... stay real. I know. Nobody u ever knew.... Is like us... anymore...

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

I really hope there’s a real person next to the cameras for all those side chats 😂 that would make me happy!

[@spazzrazkid1117]

this brought up a lot of thoughts i've been having about trying to come out

[@Mel-pb5xw]

moontiaramagic right there with you!!🔆

[@spazzrazkid1117]

Sunfish OutofWater goodluck to us! lmao

[@7peacefrog]

Thank you I need this and hope that I learn a lot more from this book

[@DarinM1967]

Been having a blast watching these videos. Please keep them coming. Curious if you've ever done any videos where your acting as yourself having a typical day. Like here's a day and the life of a genius, profession actrss, Jewish mom. Just wondering how different your body language, expressions, voice and attitudes are.

[@free01heart]

I am getting this book! Yay! Thank you!

[@cassiebanks]

I like to listen to Matthew Hussey when it comes to relationships. He knows all the ins and out and can tell you how to play a man like a violin. While I don't use most of the information as I despise manipulating men because it's so dishonest, Hussey does have some gems about who you are and how to gauge whether you're comfortable with the way you make decisions regarding men and relationships. Lucky for me, I'm old enough where I don't care whether I have a man or not, but if the jist of that conversation in your video even popped into my head it would be a no go for me - it wouldn't be worth a conversation. There is absolutely nothing I require a man for and I love the freedom it gives me to study a guy before ever letting him into my life. :-)

[@theshamy8503]

Omg mayim first of all i just want to say never ever stop making videos i love every last one of them.😁🙌 i understand this video on so many levels its crazy! I'm having so many emotions at once i can't handle it, but hey thats pretty much my everyday life thanks to living with anxiety.

[@bryceciampitti]

I had to have a difficult conversation last week, if only this had come out sooner 😆

[@avigayiltobias6208]

I'm so happy for this video! I just started a Moishe House in NYC with my kinda Bf and two others and the stress of finding an apartment and splitting rent and events is starting to show itself. Hoping to find a way to talk

[@anthonypc1]

Thank you for speaking rationality to emotionality, Mayim! Seems like not nearly enough of us have learned how they can go wonderfully hand in hand.. not just all one, or the other. I’ve had to struggle with this through many past relationship moments where One person’s pushing pure Logic in response to the Other person slipping into inexorable Emotions...And the more pressure that builds the more intensified we become in our opposing extremes. till some cathartic realease is required. then we can have a normal chat about it the next morning lol. I’m learning better through my 20s how to just RELAX my need to Solve their issue immediately, and just give the more emotionally stressed person the validation or whatever they Actually need first, to just get through their physiological human experience of the moment... And THEN there will be a good time to actual discuss a solution in logical terms later, once they can feel less overwhelmed by that stressful state. Of course not every situation allows it to be this simple... and I’d not stay long with a partner who consistently proves undependable to prioritize rational decisions in urgent situations... but we can get better at recognizing when it’s not a very time-sensitive problem, and be more empathetically rational in our compromises to find a healthier balance.

[@anthonypc1]

And of course this dichotomy isn’t at all limited to our personal relationships! Life’s an endless balancing act

[@permynez5908]

I do believe in personal transformation and have gone through my share of self-help books. What I've learned from a female perspective here is that, yes, approaching the hurtful conversations with a partner with curiosity, bravery, patience and open-mindedness is key to progress. But at the same time, a piece of you is lost forever in this process. And you reprogram yourself to a more tame version. This might sound great and it is to an extent. But it is a huge compromise to your true nature and identity, and it just seems that we simply must adjust to that which we think we want at the cost of our truest feelings all the time. I gotta say this sucks sometimes. I guess this is what we consider evolution of character though. And, sure, you might grow to have a balanced, almost perfect relationship, but you must at least demand the same kind of sacrifice from the partner. They need to truly experience this kind of compromise as well in my opinion. I am mostly speaking of love relationships, but this can apply to friendships, family and co-workers as well.

[@butterfliiwildrose3418]

I need this book!!! 😄 yes! Also, I adore you Mayim. 💕 😘

[@MichelleCoxPhotography]

Im glad Im not the only one that hates difficult convos!

[@The_Trixi]

I actually bought this book as my MD recommended it (he has so many good recommendations) but it has kind of been just lying around. Now i really want to read it but its on my desk at work :D

[@ashleynault4968]

I needed this today,thank you

[@shabytin]

This is an interesting topic! And now I’m curious about that book! Thanks Mayim! You’re the best! Love you forever! Hi Rob! ☺️

[@carlgreisheimer5278]

Someone who knows who ROB is...interesting.

[@stellamakrigianni608]

Mayim the matter needs further investigation! You opened a very very very difficult subject. I will have to rewatch a number of times and then process for a while! Sometimes that keeps me from clicking right away, knowing that there is a lot of processing involved. Anyway, thank you for sharing!

[@willowworks]

I appreciate the concepts here. For co workers who have strong dislikes it’s hard to navigate what they think and don’t. I find people who irritate easily where I work and any or so it seems any conversation nets a nasty comment back. Listening is hard in that instance. Not just s disconnect I wonder if this recommended book deals w harsh conworkers like this.

[@grimoirelangstrom1779]

Honestly... While I personally find it difficult to have complex and emotionally charged conversation... I feel compelled and even obligated to be blunt and honest within reason (and even care.) It may hurt at first but, catharsis is easier to reach down the line. This applies to how I date because as a kid in high school I hated the girls that did the beat-around-the-bush approach and even lied. I thought to myself that being honest is better in the long run. So when I reject, or need someone, etc...I just out and say it even though I'm having a heart attack on the inside. Because that's how I want to be treated as well.

[@JaneDoe-em7zi]

Once again, amazing video, and as a side note loving the makeup. 😉

[@micalabernathy3118]

Hi Mayim, this isn't related (but loved this video) but could you please do a video on what you and your family do for Passover?

[@hunter8i8]

What about having the puberty talk with your kids? Some parents might find this sort of thing useful. I guess in my case, as an older brother to a younger brother. I have no idea where to start and I don't want to seem bossy or preachy. I just want to give him good advice since when I went through it, I pretty much had to learn on my own and it wasn't easy.

[@VickiBee]

If I'd known before I ran off in a mad desire to get away from America how difficult conversation was going to be, I never would have left the country. I didn't know a lot of German and he didn't know a lot of English but I thought that wouldn't matter. I thought true love would make up for it. So now I'm sitting there saying things like "Können wir erste redet?" And he says "Plötlich willst du redet? Okl. Ich werde mein Hemd wieder anziehen, so können wir reden." And I find that no matter how much I think I love him, it's not bridging the language gap.. I'm almost in A2 German (that's nearly 100 lessons taken) and I still can't understand him. He uses too much of what the dictionary he got me calls 'informal speech.' Or 'derogatory,' 'slang,' and at times, even 'vulgar.' He's not vulgar to me but that's another story.

[@Haesslicherblaubarsch]

I should send this book to my man-friend who supposedly doesn't really know about his identity issues, hence making it impossible to have difficult conversations properly to the deepest level of understanding

[@willwarden2603]

I could listen to you all day do you do phone sessions?

[@3monsters014]

I needed a good laugh. Thank you.

[@Kayce860]

I am a huge fan of yours! I am a RN and would love to do work with you regarding sex education outside of the biology aspect- but other aspects that are not often discussed: determining consent, value based sexual identity, maturity regarding relationships ect These are often topics that are not easy to discuss with teens and young adults

[@VegHui]

Mayim has a manfriend, now that’s hip

[@carlgreisheimer5278]

Funny thou, she referred to ROB as her boyfriend after they broke up IN NOVEMBER, 2018.

[@VegHui]

Carl Greisheimer maybe it was someone else

[@carlgreisheimer5278]

@@VegHui No, that's ROB in this video. Plus from mid 2014 to November 2018 he was mentioned or showed in various pictures in instagram, instagram stories, facebook, GROKNATION, at award ceremonies with her(see the 2018 CRITICS Choice awards). Most of you so-called fans don't cross reference all this information like I do. Plus I have gone to his INSTAGRAM account and seen evidence that they had a intimate relationship. She just wanted to be very discreet about their relationship for what I consider rather strange reasons.

[@tamaracampbell3489]

Just found your channel and love your thoughts. Thanks!

[@jamiesdarlin]

Amazing video as always. I love you so much!❤️❤️

[@88jack11]

Great video and speaking of difficult conversations I was wondering if you could do a video about therapy. If you’ve had any experiences with it and the psychology behind it. I think it would be very interesting

[@wendimerrill2710]

I love you SOOOO much! You crack me up.

[@RainbowToastStudios]

Love these types of videos thank you

[@rishikakedia]

Hey could you please do a video on child leashes. I have mixed feelings about it and would be interested in knowing what you think and what research suggests.

[@tinman5660]

PLEASE PASS THE BUTTER. LMAO.

[@azurebreezes]

Mayim I have had abusive relationships with men in my past starting with my Dad. Since then I have had a very difficult time talking to any man. There is this guy in my life who is a DJ and he is making a record album. We seem to have a lot of creative and spiritual similarities. We are both Native American. I want to spend more time with him, but I am afraid of asking him out. What if I read him wrong and he doesn't feel the same? I am so scared to have this conversation with him. Help!

[@JustCameronAndHisJeep]

Love these videos... honesty is the key, and I fear them too, but I'll pick up the book. looks good. My recent favourite on Audible is, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" - Also on Audible.

[@dmsolis2435]

Helpful. I'd give it to my mom, but she would think I'm only messing with her. And in part, I probably would be. She goes from slow burn to inferno in 20 seconds flat. It used to make me all "fright, flight, fight" along with her. I tried curious but 20 seconds doesn't leave much room for practice or progress. Now I pretty much live and let be. She has her sons for everything she needs. I'm her only daughter, so "The day will come," she says, when she'll need me, "and then I'll call you." I have a feeling she'll make a little more effort to be more curious in conversation then. Who knows? Either way, I'll be there. But not Osage County there. I have my limits. Buttons? Sore spots. And she still has the --pull the wings off a butterfly, pour salt on a snail ability and agility--to really push them with vigor.

[@hakimchulan]

I can hear you well. Don’t know what’s up with others.

[@KingOberonStation]

all of my conversations r hard for me as i have social anxiety but any conversation that cud start confrontation makes me feel like im suffercating and then get paranoid that now they r angry at me and want to kill me :/ my mind works weird

[@Ktakahashi18]

"Man friend" you're so cute Mayim 😁

[@MrGentlefriend]

I love Mayim.

[@shabytin]

Yay new video!!!! You’re adorable and I love you!

[@msb1307]

One slight issue is if you identify/diagnosed as having Aspergers/higher functioning autism. There are areas of life where you are lost.

[@carlgreisheimer5278]

That thought has crossed my mind too.

[@b512121girl]

Errrrrrrr! I never learnt to read and write (my friend is writing this) audible is a good idea for me. Telling my friends about my reading and writing situation was embarrassing. Good thinking Batman.

[@badger344]

Man friend's reactions though 😂😂👌

[@carlgreisheimer5278]

If you have ever been to ROB MATHES'S FACEBOOK ACCOUNT, he has alot of female friends. Which answers a major question. If he just wants to get LAID, does he really need MAYIM? KEEP IN MIND, THIS IS TAKING PLACE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA!

[@Serendipity86UK]

I'm confused, that link doesn't take me to a book it just redirects me just to the general site :/ I'd definitely be interested in this. I've been with my partner for 10 years and communication is still one of the biggest areas we struggle in, and often seems to lead to arguments, defensiveness and tears (tears for me anyway, lol). So I'd definitely be interested to learn methods for communicating more efficiently :)

[@ericagray6599]

Very well put!

[@jelenaevangelista588]

THE SHADE HAHHAHAHAH I LOVE HER SO MUCH

[@noahbarnley7739]

Mayim you are hip aha. Thanks for this video, it's something I needed to be quite honest.

[@ashleigh833100]

Love this!

[@katitax508]

Hi Mayim, have you heard of the podcast ‘Conversations with people who hate me’? Dylan Marron talks to people with often opposite views to his, and it’s very interesting because both side show respect and try to have productive dialogue Idk I think you’d like it, it inspired me to try to have difficult conversations in a way that doesn’t feel like we’re stuck

[@razorrob73]

:) Mayim, you said, "So much cheaper than couples therapy!" :p HA! You ROCK Mayim!! Keep on, keepin' on... :)

[@carlgreisheimer5278]

By her own admission, she goes to therapy every week. I think she can afford it.

[@RoqueSox]

all my uncomfortable talks recently are people asking me when i'm getting married and me trying 50 different ways to explain that i'm not looking for a relationship. . .at least not the type of relationship that i'm expected to want (i don't know what the kids would call it, so i'll just say what i want is complicated)

[@azuregriffin1116]

NikitaRoqueSox complicated?

[@elisecode2212]

i feel that. i'm aromantic. many people seem to be personally offended by my orientation, even those without romantic interest towards me. go figure.

[@ka3716]

Mayim i love your videos so much! Ps: Brazil loves you

[@kman6235]

GREAT VIDEO my only question is why would you spend time trying to mold man friend into something more than he wants or is willing to commit to when you could keep looking for that man friend or women friend who wants to stay over more or spend more time and i get that you may have feelings for man friend or want to try but if they are not willing why not fin the one who does

[@carlgreisheimer5278]

At the time of this recording, she was already almost 4 years into their relationship.

[@brigittewilliams8786]

thank you for this video !!!!!!!

[@iamsica]

Hi Mayim, I'd love to hear about your book or textbook recommendations for neuroscience. I am a psychology major graduate, planning to pursue my graduate studies. Would really appreciate to hear from you - or better yet, a video about this! Thanks and love all your videos ♥

[@juliamaisonreyes3780]

Not Maxim but Neuroscience by Purves et al is really good. Also recommend The Human Brain in Photographs and Diagrams by Nolte if you don't have access to a brain lab

[@samanthamalone2464]

argh i love these videos

[@kinzeesh]

Searching for this on the Audible app and it's not there. Help??? Love you Mayim xxx

[@jessicasollows8901]

Am I able to access this book from Canada or is your offer only for people in America?? This would be such a great resource for me as a social worker!! I really was interested in checking it out! :)

[@josephchitty1209]

I love a good book, but in this I'm currently learning from my old teacher, "Hard-knocks".

[@thatsathingrebekah]

More on how to renegotiate a lap dance please 💃

[@MelB868]

Was this a 5 minute infomercial about your book?

[@billawnguy]

I found 7 books found titled difficult conversations on audible. So witch one??

[@rickuyeda4818]

The first girl that liked me said "Hi". I just pretended not to hear. I couldn't believe someone would like me so I ignored it. I was 12 at the time. My first girlfriend asked me out. Matter of fact, all my girlfriends asked me out. Even my wife. I never talk about my feelings so no one ever knows.

[@katelynwhitaker9818]

My fiancé always wants to be near me and I love my space away from him. I worry he feels like I don’t love him or want to spend my life with him and I’m afraid having to compromise about it will cause him to resent me.

[@SpiralBreeze]

All my difficult conversations have to be in front of a judge.

[@jgw5491]

I hope that's because you are a lawyer, not a repeat offender. lol

[@ginadillander8512]

Do you have any more books to recommend as a new mom?

[@Elbi93]

I have to admit, when I see you from that view with your may or may not be man friend, it reminds me of all those skype-like scenes between Amy and Sheldon, and then I feel like yelling, AMY ARE YOU TWOFACETIMING SHELDON?! Lol

[@carlgreisheimer5278]

Jim Parsons is married.

[@lonewolf8905]

Great content as always 👍🏻👌🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Im curious if that “man friend” is her real life “man friend” or just for this vlog? And if this was a real life scenario for her?!

[@martinaf.2737]

Lone Wolf I think it's her real life man friend. Not sure about the real life scenario.

[@carlgreisheimer5278]

@@martinaf.2737 that's Rob Mathew. They were in a discreet relationship for about 4.5 years but it ended in NOVEMBER, 2018.

[@carlgreisheimer5278]

@@martinaf.2737 Mathes, not Mathew

[@annapalacio3513]

People like to use words against me and sometimes twist my words too what do I do then?????

[@joalexander103]

Love your videos, but I hate the ads.

[@elishaminor2900]

You talk and I listen

[@giselestrauch5146]

how do you feel about the me too in the news lately about being abused by men please address this in one of your videos.

[@robertperren1684]

Interesting subject