I Put Our Wedding On Hold After Fiance Invited My Abusive Father, Fiance Then Gave An Ultimatum

[@SvarogAristaeusAllen]

Simple: He's the same as her dad and wants her to forgive her dad so when he starts abusing her he can say "You forgave your dad, why won't you forgive me?"

[@ajjean2720]

My thoughts exactly

[@krypto1976]

Class A narcissist he doesn't think dad is that bad because he's probably worse

[@mandyj2809]

Yeah, that’s what I thought too.

[@ziggywebb5004]

Agreed

[@cheekyftoro8962]

Agreed this cam also be a tactic get toxic dad involved to drive other family and friend her support system away. Or so dad can beat her down emotionally and he can be the hero. I have seen both of these scenarios happen. Never trust a person that wants you to let toxic people back in your life. Most of the time it's for negative reasons

[@owl7072]

Story 1: So fiancé knew about all of that and decided "Yeah, inviting the man known to have violent and reckless behavior is definitely a good idea"

[@OthelloSilvermoon]

Ex probably got sweet talked by the dead beat. who the entire time was telling him "don't tell my daughter she won't understand, I made a mistake and I have a feeling she won't answer if it comes from me" that kind of manipulative bs.

[@marshawargo7238]

If she went ahead & married him & later found out dad was a closet pedo, is he going to go against OP & take their kids to go see grandpa😮😢??? That ex is just like her dad! Controlling, manipulating, abusive... I could go on but we still wouldn't reach his black core!

[@AuroraPaintBrush4444]

Probably sympathize with him...a twisted "bro code" or "bros before hoes"

[@Blk.Philip]

Don’t forgot known drug addict!

[@cronadojo8385]

Despite knowing he f’ed up, he also thought it was a good idea to turn his family against the woman he still intended to marry. Definitely not the brightest

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 1: *“Yes, I went against your wishes, then gave you an ultimatum and then lied to my family about, but in my defense, the truth made me look bad. So what do you say? Can we start over?”* Dude needs to work on his sales techniques./s In regard about family estrangement you either get it or you don't. Atleast the trash took itself out, good riddance on bad rubbish.

[@lynnw7155]

Yeah; he didn't want to look bad so he lied so his family would hate on her. What a guy.

[@TheRockinDonkey]

As we often hear on this channel, if the truth makes you look bad, you are bad.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Just in time too.

[@CanadianCatScratcher-ff4sl]

He told on himself. I’m glad op has a shiny backbone and tossed him.

[@Snowshowslow]

I guess I'd fall in the "don't get it" camp with regard to family estrangement as my family is pretty tight knit, but that doesn't mean I don't respect it.

[@godzillakungfu]

This story is why I hate the comments of “they’re too young” and “they are just kids.” No. There are some things you tell your kids in an age appropriate manner. OP’s father didn’t have two sides, he was 100% dark. She was too young to understand all of the alienation, coercion and neglect she was accepting that actually made him abusive. If they fostered a proper line of communication it would have never gone this far.

[@rosecarrejo3940]

OP no betrayal of trust is betrayal of trust period

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Exactly. The OP's family put her in danger countless times by not telling her the truth and pushing her to have a relationship with a drug addict who drove her around probably numerous times while high. Sorry, but at some point, mom and the rest of the family needed to take charge and get only supervised visitation but they knew the dad wouldn't show up. It's almost like mom wanted to get rid of the OP for a few hours to do whatever. The Dad is the A, the mom and the rest of her family are BIG A's, and the OP is a little A for not telling Mom and family more about these side trips and whatnot. As for the fiance, well, he's not even worth the time and effort to call him a MASSIVE A.

[@lordfreerealestate8302]

There are not "two sides" with abuse. This a classic enabler statement. And with CHILDREN, no less.

[@ViciousNer]

Fr. “This man with a history of addiction and abusing nearly all members of his family? Yea we don’t wanna make the most vulnerable among us mad at him, so we’ll leave her alone and completely dependent on him for hours at a time.” I highly sympathize for the rest of her family but they willingly put her is great danger for the sake of being “nice”. Time to get a grip.

[@Keyonne88]

Children are never too young to know something -- it just needs to be told in an age appropriate way. "Your father did some very bad things to me and your siblings, so nobody wants to talk to him anymore. We don't like mean people."

[@Mia-dt3gl]

“You just paid for a two-week vacation to Italy for me, but _I_ need a break from _you_ in Italy to decide if I still want to be with you! What?! What do you mean you won’t fund the rest of my trip?!” 🙄

[@AutumnFire1414]

Right? Who in their right mind does that? Either she is incredibly stupid and incapable of critical thinking decision-making skills or she is a closet narcissist. Either way OP needs to find someone much better.

[@ElleD308]

She doesn't need a vacation from him, needs a paid vacation to sleep around with others 😂

[@AndyyWithAY]

Don't put it on hold, call the whole thing off. You don't want this person around you and certainly not around your children if you have any. Your fiance is not a safe person

[@Swnsasy]

I just don't understand how these types of people think they know more than the person who went through what they have. It's not difficult!! No is no, period! That is something I could not come back from.

[@blackice7023]

You need to be aware that if your fiance is willing to try to get you reconciled to your dad nhind your back....he may introduce your kids to your dad, behind your back, also. He's a controller Be cateful.

[@cheskydivision]

Op’s mom letting the dad take op knowing he had an addiction and did not warn op..protecting kids just endangers them

[@ec4145]

Yeah, I was thinking much the same. Even further, exposing her to his abuse (leaving your kid in a car alone for 4-5 hours is more abusive than OP seemed to understand) probably shaped her into someone who would date a terrible person like her fiance. When you're used to being treated like trash by loved ones as a child, you don't think a new person is wrong for treating you the same way. The mother failed her almost as much as the father.

[@user-blob]

@@ec4145I agree.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Why would you even let your kid alone with a person like that? Yikes.

[@lordfreerealestate8302]

And behaviour like this, where people put kids in dangerous situations with abusers against all reason because they don't GAF, happens every day sadly. Enablers are as bad as abusers sometimes.

[@TheMintybreath]

Leaving your underage daughter alone with a man who is violent and a junkie...OP's family failed her

[@TwoRiversFarm707]

Everytime someone tells you to "be a bigger person", they really mean to make yourself smaller and less important.

[@thiccredgyal3404]

I don't respect people who say be the bigger person. They're saying be a bigger doormat.

[@TheBlueDsc]

It's funny how there is a legitimate time and place for being the bigger person, but oh so rarely do we actually see them in these stories.

[@arianebolt1575]

@@TheBlueDsc Those times don't work if you have to be told.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Ex-fiancé’s mask slipped, sounds like he is cut from the same cloth as daddy dearest, selfish liars that put their own interests over other people’s boundaries.

[@geminiblue]

Abusive narcs don't like seeing their victims easily cut out abusers from their lives because in their minds, they think their victims will do the same to them. The EX wanting to force OP to forgive the Dad is him testing if he can force OP to forgive him in the future

[@chet7098]

I was just thinking that exact same thing.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Narcissists of a kind love to kick your behind. It's a variation of birds of a feather flock together. A malignant narcissist will always love nothing more than to see you in abject misery. There's no line they won't cross to achieve that.

[@shebakoby]

not to mention also ex's family is also the same.

[@symonsan]

@@shebakoby nah, ex's family members were manipulated by ex's fiance. He didn't want to take accountability of his actions.

[@RisetoStrength]

Absolutely NTA. Your family is yours to invite. Your fiance inviting them is overreach.

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

By the time they finished describing their father I forgot what the fiance did which honestly made their choice to invite them more mortifying

[@D-Dollie]

Me too!!!!

[@DHasty]

Poor OP in story 2. He sounds like a kind person and was absolutely used and emotionally manipulated by the ex.

[@shellchenonceau6987]

OP's ex fiance was a covert narcissist who wanted to make sure she stayed uphappy while he controlled her through the crap drama scenes he caused...and would keep causing.

[@geminiblue]

Yep. Abusive narcs don't like seeing their victims easily cut out abusers from their lives because in their minds, they think their victims will do the same to them. The EX wanting to force OP to forgive the Dad is him testing if he can force OP to forgive him in the future

[@Alberto-wu1mj]

I agree. He ignored her feelings and needs. He made her abusive past all about him.

[@jackchop1576]

Sounds like the fiancé in story 1 is just like OP's father. His family sounds on that level too.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yeah. I can't help but feel sorry for OP for having such bad luck. 😢

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Yeah. She was conditioned to accept that kind of bad behavior as normal. How you grow up has a huge influence on the type of people you date. Which tends to continue the cycle of abuse.

[@yamairad1]

​@PrincessQ-fj9ly It is not bad luck. She was raised around abuse, and she doesn't know what a healthy partner is. She needs therapy.

[@TheodoreBotman]

I think he just lied to his family to make her seem like the crazy one, these people always let the one in the wrong spin the narrative. Why not just tell people "He demanded my abusive father turn up to my wedding or would not get married".

[@philwill0123]

@@TheodoreBotman This. He would have downplayed it as "i reconnected her long lost father with her, did such a nice gesture and she freaked out with no justification." OP sounds like someone who doesnt tell her partners family the extent of the abuse, so Ex can spin it how he wants

[@paulagoeringer9466]

WOW, the audacity of that gf saying that hey, I'd love to cheat on you on your dime. WTF? Where do these losers find the brass balls to say something like that TO YOUR FACE?!!!

[@thomasjoseph5876]

What he doesn't tell us is probably where she got the balls to say it. He probably put her on a pedestal and always paid for everything and gave in to her way every time. I think he probably just finally woke up to the disrespect she had been showing him over the 2 years they were dating. What she asked for was the ultimate form of disrespect since he had paid for the entire vacation. I also think he had an idea that she had something sneaky going on the side but didn't want to really admit to himself. He wanted thousands of Redditors to tell him lol. Basically, the OP can mostly blame himself for her behavior. He has probably allowed different and escalating levels of disrespect to him by her over time. She was probably hot and he thought out of his league which they both probably have discussed in the past so he figured he had to cave to her in order to keep her. Any dude that does that needs some serious therapy and should have his Man Card taken away lol. I only hope he learned some serious lessons from this relationship as there were many. If not, he will probably fall deeper into the hole with the next hot chick that dates him for money and because he is easy to manipulate.

[@veezopolis]

You're so brave for blaming a victim for being abused​@@thomasjoseph5876

[@kathydurow6814]

I disagree with the reply basically saying it was all OP's fault (or mostly). I've been listening to multiple seasons if the podcast "Something Was Wrong" and you'd be amazed at how easily people get suckered in by charismatic live bombers who then turn on their partners. And the partners find it difficult to get away because the live these people, believe their sob stories (at least at first), will change to keep them happy & around & are very often guilted into supporting them, disregarding the very real harm & trauma they've taken on and not seeing the red flags until their kids, finances or well-being is threatened or injured. Wouldn't surprise me if this ex is a female version of the gaslighting people in that podcast (most, but not all, are male there). Perhaps not as physically dangerous, but still harmful to mental health & one's self-esteem.

[@samiulhuda4001]

@@kathydurow6814no it shouldnt be that easy. its weak behavior. if i am paying for an europe trip your attitude needs to be 100% grateful. it cannot be arent you lucky i am here with you. if its the latter and you are ok with it you are a fool. that goes for everything in life. if you do something for someone and their attitude is they were owed screw them

[@EphemeraImaging]

@@thomasjoseph5876 Really sad when being kind and generous gets you scammed into believing you should bankroll other people's lives. You're blaming the victim for being a nice person. HE is not to blame, she's a user.

[@tinywaterdrinker5136]

I know it's encouraged to not alienate the other parent but holy shit if the other parent is VIOLENT then you might not want to just hand your CLUELESS (since you never warned them) kid over to them unsupervised. Poor OP could've died while the Dad was cosplaying speedracer

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Yes or op could have disappeared if he sold her for drugs. WTF was the mom thinking? No protective instincts at all. I'm horrified and glad he didn't think of it.

[@devegas4910]

Right?!?! Like anything could’ve happened to op if her dad was even more of a monster than he already was

[@ynmonroe]

@tinywaterdrinker5136 Yep. That part! The whole time OP was describing her relationship with him as a child, I kept trying to figure out how the mom would trust an abusive drug user, that clearly didn't have a gentle, loving relationship with the other siblings, unsupervised with OP. FOR WHAT? And why didn't she monitor these outings? As in, first few times have a different sibling go along? Or at least ask OP about them each time?

[@soralinklokidottirprincess10]

Not to mention that he physically assaulted a minor and made murder threats.

[@lusnoct4298]

"Don't alienate your kids against the other parent" should mainly consist of trying not to put the other parent down around the children. Being honest about the situation and the other parent's character should not only be acceptable, but should also be *expected*.

[@NopeScope14]

"I didn't want my family to hate me" But turn that hate towards somebody who's going to be a part of his family? I'm so glad OP didn't marry into that circus. Poor woman would be the scapegoat for everything

[@itsjustmaddisen]

That family is TRASH.

[@ianesgrecia8568]

Story 2: The answer to the 'find themselves' excuse is the same for the 'open relationship' suggestion: The person that suggested/made excuse already is cheating or have someone in mind and they WILL cheat whatever you agree or not. Unless you enjoy being a third, get away from that relationship.

[@immortalsofar5314]

She wanted to imagine life without OP. Poof, there you go. Make sure you find your own accommodation and buy your own ticket. Just a bit of advice I'd give to a complete stranger.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

The second OP’s ex’s arrogance is astounding, wonder what them friends think about the situation, now?

[@carlrood4457]

It was really obvious what "find herself" really meant. That she expected OP to pay for it is just evil.

[@susankaempfer8427]

I’m assuming the friends were told a garbage story. That’s usually the case. If they do know the truth and still think he’s an ahole, they aren’t friends.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

The friends are probably still against OP, cuz "nothing happened." 🙄

[@Pyrieltmj]

What really gets me is the nerve of some folks. She chose to stay behind after effectively breaking up with OP and then wants him to fund her vacation? Nope! And the friends calling OP an AH are insane. Also, if they cared so much they could’ve funded her extended stay.

[@akl2k7]

@@carlrood4457 Yeah, it was super obvious she wanted some prime Italian sausage. That tends to be what "finding oneself" is, either that or some tacos.

[@jayster5077]

Story 2: did she just basically tell op that she wanted to cheat and the he has to fund it

[@carlrood4457]

Yes.

[@datmanydocris]

Yep, that's exactly what she said.

[@SkyEcho751]

Actually, I remember a different OP was gonna fly his GF out to South Korea(I think), and she 'cancelled' their relationship before she flew out. He was also paying for her to go to a concert, and she wanted him to still pay. He obviously cancelled the flight and went to the concert himself. This isn't the first time someone tried to force an OP to pay for their affair.

[@JuanRodriguez-tf7fh]

​@@SkyEcho751it was Singapore and it was for Taylor Swift Tickets

[@Sparky0627]

I remember that story and she was upset he didn't give her the ticket (think she wanted to sell it). Edited for spelling.

[@dscheaffer]

I hope OP blocked his ex and all her friends and family who were hating on him for refusing to be a doormat. She wanted her freedom and now she’s getting it.

[@draughtoflethe]

Story 1: I get the sense that the ex-fiance wanted to acclimatize OP into forgiving and making up with male figures in her life who mistreated her, so she would forgive and make up with ex-fiance when *he* inevitably mistreated her. Good on her for shutting it all down. Story 2: I may be in the minority on this, but I find it really obnoxious when people call these stories "fake." Maybe they are, maybe they aren't, but I'd rather err on the side of showing compassion toward someone who might genuinely be looking for support during a rough moment in their life, even if it means "risking" being kind to someone who's lying in a way that is utterly harmless to me. Besides, there's something like 8 billion people in the world right now; even scenarios that seem relatively unlikely or farfetched aren't actually that implausible given that kind of sample size. Also, OP is NTA and it sucks that his gf was willing to ditch him like that.

[@madambutterfly1997]

I hate people like that keeping your options open despite being in a committed relationship for years

[@paulagoeringer9466]

YES! The only option is you're in a committed relationship or not. Pick a lane. With the only exceptions being swingers and polygamists which I won't comment on, but they at least both agree on it. Both parties have to consent.

[@unicorn12345]

S2: she can “find herself” her own return ticket.

[@SherriLyle80s]

Not another narcissistic fiance inviting an abusive parent of the spouse to a wedding. People are not learning from others mistakes.

[@thiccredgyal3404]

Narcissists only have empathy for other Narcissists

[@stampandscrap7494]

Lets hope they never do, and they out themselves before marriage.

[@heatherdickau5335]

Story 1 the OP's ex is probably telling a different story. Made himself out to be a hero of long-lost family . He is not telling the real truth.

[@anthonygilmour6236]

Story 1: OPs ex fiance biggest AH Ex Story 2: OPs EX girlfriend "Hold my champagne..." 🤷

[@brokenmask333]

I never understood why the family members of the ex thought it was helpful to verbally abuse op. How does that work in their heads ?

[@thiccredgyal3404]

They're flying monkeys. They do the narcissists dirty work.

[@owl7072]

I'm currently in the process of making plans to rearrange a majority of my room, so here's to having something to listen to

[@MarkNarrations]

I love a room rearrange, makes everything feel extra spicy!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Oooo cool

[@owl7072]

@@broken_queer_but_fighting8589 🥰

[@owl7072]

@@MarkNarrations I frequently move my bed around cause I have the space to do so, but this would be the first time I fully moved my bed as well as my dresser/tv stand and bookshelf

[@GBunnyG]

She dodged a bullet not marrying into that family. Poor girl.

[@MarkNarrations]

Well hello there!!

[@yesthatmousyiris4887]

Hey Mark hope you're doing good today!

[@chulutheimposter5415]

Hello hello!

[@D123-f9k]

General Kenobi 🪲🤖

[@FlamesofJagger]

Hey you spicy so-and-so!!😉🤣😂🎉💯🎉💯🤣😂

[@jesterbrown90]

​@@D123-f9kdammit, you beat me to it

[@samantharoggelin1467]

Story 1: NTA NTA NTA!!!!! Wtf is wrong with fiancé?!! He KNEW and he still invited him. I’m so glad she left him.

[@CircusoftheMoon]

Being able to admit you’re wrong is such an important life skill that so many lack.

[@AndyyWithAY]

She wants to stay and find herself and thinking about the relationship?? Unless OP massively misphrased this, that's insane. I said she had to be wanting to hook up with someone, but she'd already found someone 😱 If it was worth throwing away a 2 year relationship, she was just not that into OP. This is a few steps below cheating on your honeymoon. Just wild

[@brandyanderson3522]

And then, to add insult to injury, she wanted him to pay for it. Like, hey, let me f*** you over two way.

[@Siinwu]

2nd story, OP forgot one thing, change the tickets to 1 first class for himself and get home.

[@jamestomlin5525]

The audacity of the bish in the 2nd story had me mad even

[@suchfrecks3110]

Who are these nutjob people who namecall and harass their family members ex?! Isn’t the normal thing to do just support their family and pretend the ex doesn’t exist?!

[@thiccredgyal3404]

People like that are called flying monkeys.

[@tiawheeler1153]

@@thiccredgyal3404 Oh, no! Not the flying monkeys!!! (I saw a chance to make a reference to The Wiz and I took it. Don't judge, lol!)

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #1: So, let me get this straight - it's okay, even important, for OP to forgive her abusive father so her ex could fulfill some White Knight fantasy. But it's bad for OP to draw boundaries and put a pause on their engagement because the ex didn't know how to use his words to apologize and back down. I'm glad she not only recognized that the ex was a walking parade of red flags, but that she even pointed them out to him when he tried to get back together. I think the Redditor who said the ex was covertly a lot like OP's dad is probably right.

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 2: NTA Tell her to find her own way of paying to "find herself."

[@tishellefrancois7840]

First story he wanted her to break it off so that he could be seen as the victim. He saw himself in her father.

[@tamarrartis2918]

Story 2 I read yesterday on reddit is here!!!! Also, NTA. Girl is an embarrassment. A utterly stupid embarrassment.

[@shizanketsuga8696]

That "twist" in story 2 was a really obvious one. When one partner out of the blue tries the "I need to think about our relationship." line more often than not it's code for "I want to sleep around.". And when that happens while they are staying/going somewhere far from home the probability is basically 100%.

[@GBunnyG]

Story 2: I need time apart so I can consider if I want to break up with you. What do you mean you won't pay for it?!

[@kazzuo32]

#1. Nta. Hold that wedding the fiance sounds like the type of man will justify abuse.

[@thiccredgyal3404]

He's probably abusive himself

[@anthonym6119]

I figured the ex told his family a completely different story than what actually happened.

[@thiccredgyal3404]

True. He probably said she cheated or something

[@hirohiroarikawa6806]

How tf was he not arrested for beating the crap out of a child, like if I saw that he’d be leaving in a body bag

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Fr. But either no one else saw it and the kid couldn't identify them or it was a long time ago, like the 70s or 80s. Back then and before that kids usually had no say against any adult. It was automatically thought that you deserved it and should keep your mouth shut or get worse.

[@MogofWar]

​@@paulagoeringer9466 Yeah! In the 80's or 90's, if you intervened against an adult assaulting one of his kids or one of the kid's boyfriends, you'd just be charged with assault because protecting random children from adults was not seen as a decent person's responsibility... A lot of men are behind bars today for what they did to men who did far worse things to their own children.

[@drako8343]

@@paulagoeringer9466OP is 29, so born 1995. And she stopped seeing him in 2010. So between 2000 and 2010 is when that assault happened. It is bonkers he didn’t go to jail.

[@AuskaDezjArdamaath]

People who have never lived with violence on a daily basis do not know or understand just how bad it truly is and that there really are some things that are unforgivable. When you grow up in a normal household without pervasive abuse, you can’t comprehend the full impact it has on someone’s life. If a victim of abuse tells you they don’t want anything to do with a family member who was the abuser in their life, believe them and don’t interfere.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

One thousand percent this. Those that didn't grow up with it don't understand that the things we do tell you are usually only the tip of the iceberg. There's a LOT buried under the surface, some of which is forcefully forgotten.

[@fcold9402]

I am always amazed when a potential spouse pulls this and tries to force their potential spouse to reconcile with garbage family. NTA.

[@LaineyBug2020]

S2- Felicia stranded herself, BYE!

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: I feel like the Ex did something or was similar to the dad and he felt like if he could get OP to forgive the dad, then he would be okay. It also could be a measure of control. He tried to make her do what he wanted in order to assert control.

[@stellamccoy5259]

S2. NTA. Yeah, she wanted to find herself. What she means is that she met someone and wants to explore her feelings for him.

[@akl2k7]

She just wanted to sample some Italian sausage. Give her a break. /jk

[@AlexRising_]

Story 1: call it off. The violation of your boundaries is a dealbreaker.

[@Tammohawk1]

1. I almost made the mistake of trying to force a reconciliation w/my husband and his father. Until I saw my husband's reaction. That told me everything I needed to know. You don't do that to someone, ever. There are good reasons for these estrangements. And it's almost always ugly. 2. OP didn't strand his girlfriend, she did it to herself. When someone says that they need to find themselves is usually a sign that they are on the way out. Why am I not surprised that she met someone while out alone? I had a feeling that she was up to no good.

[@BraveryWing26]

I loved second OP. If she wants to "find herself" she should pay for it herself. I cant believe people thought HE was the AH.

[@EndellionQT]

Story 2: GF wants to extend her holiday to 'find herself'. Also GF expects OP to fund the return flight. Girl, if you want to find yourself you can find the money for the return ticket too.

[@teamaang7915]

So glad op from first story got rid of ex and cleared up the real story with his family.

[@Tammohawk1]

I got a new fur baby!! A little fluffy kitten that is marked like a Siamese cat. His mama is a ragdoll. Father is unknown, hussy, lol. I've named him Oscar. He loves to sit on my lap when he's not playing. Right now he's trying to chew on my hands as I'm typing. He's so tiny!! And he sleeps with me too. I'm in love again.

[@carolroberts4614]

He sounds lovely! I wish I could have a cat, but our flat isn't suitable.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Awwww 🥰 he sounds adorable. Lucky girl. I hope he has the best life with you. 🎉 🐾🐾💖✨

[@lidkagatarek3023]

Cat tax! - photo please when Mark is calling for pet tax

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 1: I am at the 5 minute mark, and I think that your only option is to cancel the engagement and wedding, toss bf and father out of your home, and after you heal, find someone who respects you.

[@djangofettunchained7074]

Story 2: The ex can find herself alright ... find herself a place to stay and away home. And who are these friends mad at him that she must have called automatically . They know damn well they wouldnt fun there SOs vacation to " think about" if she wanted to still be in the relationship or not. Ex had top tier entitlement .

[@carlrood4457]

Probably her cheating girl posse and their henpecked boyfriends.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

I'm guessing the friends are similar harpy ho's.

[@ElleD308]

They're either cheaters like her or she told them a completely bs story

[@PhoenixForceTravelAgency]

OP is beyond lucky she didn’t have kids with this man!!!!! Block him and his entire family!!!

[@imjustgonnasayit415]

Story 2: I hope his friends get the updated information and see what they say now

[@IstheleGnd]

Second story is just bananas. “Pay for me to hook up with someone else in Italy and if it doesn’t work, I’ll see you at home” like wtf is wrong with that future cat lady

[@jaylynn8630]

This is why I don't believe in hiding from kids why a divorce happened. People get all worked up about "not destroying relationships" between parents and children by telling children the truth, but you can tell children in a way that explains why mom and dad's relationship has been destroyed while making it clear that their relationship with their parent is separate from their parents' relationship with each other, and they can make up their own mind on how to respond to all of it. Even if it's just as simple as saying, "your other parent broke a really big promise they made to me, and now I can't trust them anymore." You don't necessarily have to go into details about what that promise is, either. Having information on why it happened also makes it less likely that the kids will blame themselves for the divorce.

[@Baby0rang369]

Nta Run, run far

[@TheMimiSard]

Story 2 - Hey, the inclination to get to airport early is a good one, because sometimes something _does_ happen. I made the mistake of trying to bring home some sparklers I bought on a whim, and had to go get my bag, dig them out and bin them, then return my bag to Baggage. The fact that I often get to airport a couple of hours early helps in little incidents like that.

[@LittleCatVoice]

I want to give a big ol' internet hug to both of the OPs in today's stories.

[@gessica1961]

People who have never experienced abuse cannot appreciate what those who have tell them

[@yoopwi1]

Story2; she met someone or wants to meet someone while you are out of the picture. Time to break up and move on

[@raynellemccathern3018]

I'm starting to noticed this reaccuring theme where people in relationships hear about their s/o's traumatic experience with their parents, family members, friends, etc and are told that they cut contact with them and don't want them in theur lives ever again. But for some reason they disrespect their s/o's boundaries to invite the one's that caused them harm. Why??

[@shawnbrooks5293]

Blows my mind all these relationships where the friends and family butt in to give their unsolicited advice or give them a hard time about the decisions they have made.

[@faeriefire78]

What ex-fiancé also fails to comprehend is that being jump-scared, especially in your own home where you should feel safest, by someone you cut out for your own safety and mental well-being is traumatizing. All the old feelings, past traumas, failed hopes, and that good ol' flight-or-fight instinct is triggered all at once. He didn't rip a bandaid off, he removed the stitches with a chainsaw.

[@thefallennero5265]

Story 2: So she wanted to stay in Italy longer to "find herself" and think about their relationship without OP? Oh I wonder what OP's ex could possibly mean by those two things that definitely don't sound suspicious.

[@akl2k7]

She wants to try some local Italian pepperonis?

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

Afternoon Mark, I don't know how you can put together two shows a day. First listen and research multiple sites for the best stories. Editing and all the multitude of things necessary to get such an awesome result. Lots of luv dude!❤❤

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

2- NTA, does she not have money to get another flight home? Girl get your priorities straight!

[@paulagoeringer9466]

With her attitude I'm sure she can earn money fast doing what she apparently loves more than a relationship.😂

[@akl2k7]

@@paulagoeringer9466 Trying out varieties of local Italian sausage?

[@paulagoeringer9466]

​@@akl2k7🤣🤣🤣🤣 exactly

[@michaelautrey6641]

imagine the kind of gall you have to have to tell your boyfriend you are staying in the vacation spot he paid for in order to "find yourself"(bang other dudes) and you expect him to continue paying for you to stay after he leaves. wow. good luck to the guy she convinces to marry her.

[@MogofWar]

Even if she learned from he mistake, she probably learned the wrong lesson. Her future spouse is definitely in for some shit.

[@GBunnyG]

I am actively single and actively refusing to mingle but I can't help wondering where the hell is my partner who'd pay for a trip to Italy for me 😭😭😭

[@MarionHogan-m5i]

Story 2: she could find herself at home too

[@vrsalcedo7245]

But she couldn't bang Italians in their own country if she's back home in the 'States.

[@carolroberts4614]

What happens if you go to find yourself, and you're not there?

[@akl2k7]

But she can't try the local Italian sausages at home. That's the problem.

[@markanthony1004]

Man what is wrong with some people thinking they can make decisions for others?

[@Indyawillis85]

Story 2: The ex-gf stayed with OP long enough to go on a great vacation and thought she could parlay that into a mini hoe season. I feel so bad for the OP. I most definitely would've left her stranded too.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

She may not have a plane ticket, but she certainly got her wish for a ticket to ride the D carousel. 😸🤣🤣🤣

[@sparklemotion8377]

The first story proves that you're not protecting someone by withholding the truth. Both mother and daughter enabled abuse by not telling each other the truth. The daughter wouldn't feel loyalty to the father if she knew the truth, and I doubt the mother would send her daughter with a father who would just leave her in the car to drugs and his girlfriend. Needless to say, I blame the mother, not the child. Then the fiancée delivers the ultimate blow. Not only inviting the father but talking to him for six months. Six months of betrayal.

[@Julienna]

Daughters of abusive fathers tend to attract and date similar men. OP finally realized that after he invited her father to the wedding. But he was abusive even before. OP needs a therapy, so she does not go again for something familiar, yet unhealthy.

[@JoaddahfromCAMEROON]

OP, You do NOT have to explain ANYTHING TO ANYBODY. Simply look directly into their eyes & say, " "LEAVE ME TF ALONE," turn & walk away.

[@LaineyBug2020]

S1- All the flak the ex's family threw at her should just reinforce the fact that she was right to end it. Time to start blocking. Seriously, what is the point of trying to get someone to come back by insulting them?

[@ArethaVGuedes]

My husband almost tried to talk to my father when we started dating (cos my father got in contact with him) and I told him that if he speaks with my father we would break up, he respected my decision and guess what? We are happily marry and have a 15 years old son

[@fred_derf]

Tell her to have one of the men she's planning on "finding herself" with to pay for her airfare.

[@Forwantofaname]

The last story is so funny to me, because the idea of changing a vacation last minute makes me so anxious I could cry. When I go on trips, everything is down to the minute for me.

[@BraveryWing26]

First OP's fiancee was like AWFUL PEOPLE BINGO. Liar, Manipulator, all in one.

[@lazaruscharity1121]

2nd story. she was a player! she used him financially and wanted to stay behind to find herself without him. she wanted to stay and cheat on him.

[@chulutheimposter5415]

W00H00 CAUGHT AN0THER EARLY P0ST!! Hello hello fellow Waffles! How are you all doing? I'm doing pretty well, tryna muster up the motivation to draw XD I hope you all have a great evening!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

I hope you have a great evening too m8 🤗🤗🧇🧇💜💜

[@christinesinclair6938]

S1: NTA. That ex was another OP1's dad in the making, I bet! Block him, OP1! After update: Another friggin' savior complex! Those, by far, tend to be the most awful people! S2: NTA. He paid for one ticket. I agree! She can find herself on her own money. She should have asked for the ticket so she could exchange it for a different flight.

[@DragonflyandTheWolf]

Story 2: I wouldn't have even warned the gf that I was not paying for her to find herself. That just seems obvious to me. If I'm not on this vacation with you, I'm not paying for it. What kind of crazy person thinks their boyfriend/girlfriend will bank roll them while they're considering a break up??

[@myeternalteardrop]

I kinda felt like her "needing to find herself" was just code for "I met someone else and I wanna keep my options open" and I was right. Any story in which a person says this, it's usually the death knell of the relationship, even if the person decides in the end that they wanna be with the person that they're with, it completely kills the trust and that's something that's pretty much impossible to come back from.

[@MisterNightfish]

Ex: Marriage or Breakup OP: Alright, bet.

[@anntphamvo87]

Ayooo perfect timing for dinner preparation. Mark, did you go to the Brazilian bbq yet?

[@MarkNarrations]

OHHH! I forgot to mention, I did. I was in London on the weekend and made it my mission to find one. It was amazing, the salad buffet and all the meats. Damn I'm hungry again now :)

[@colleens1107]

Story one update: Oh my god, his admittance to basically bulldozing their relationship rather than admit to being wrong shows he would have been a nightmare to be married to. You basically invite an abuser, tell her he’s coming or no wedding, she calls it off, you tell your family that she just ended it for no good reason, family harass her until the mom got the correct story and passed it around, AND THEN say my bad, I just didn’t want to admit a fucking mistake, can we get back together? Holy shit

[@0612Crystal]

So the GF in the 2nd story actually expected OP to pay for her to cheat on him?!!? What in the delulu!?

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Yeah, she probably thought she had him locked down into simpsville. She definitely thought too highly of herself.

[@megnotmegan1966]

Ex fiancé thinks he knows better than OP, and has no respect for her which doesn’t bode well for any further relationship. What an absolute knob.

[@bangeryun94]

I absolutely DESPISE ANYONE who dares tell me when I am supposed to forgive someone. And to force a person to forgive one who has clearly been cut out of one's life is unforgivable. There are situations in life that cannot be walked back and this is one of them.

[@dragonlady1360]

What I ont understand why do people and therapists always insist that the victims be the ones to apologize and forgive? It makes no sense to me.

[@hrvojebutkovic]

Story 1: Strange that the ex helped OP stand up for herself and establish boundaries earlier in their relationship, only to turn around and stomp all over them.