I Threatened My Wife With Divorce After She Quit Her Job To Become A Tradwife r/Relationships

[@anonymouse9833]

I feel for OP. His wife just doesn't care about him at all, or their kids since she's triangulating them against him. I know we're only getting one side of this story, but she sounds so selfish, and manipulative with the love-bombing/'advances'

[@presidenttogekiss635]

It feels very delusional: the whole point of the "tradwife" is submission to your husband. If the husband doesnt WANT a tradwife, then you can't really be a tradwife.

[@CanyonALynn]

S2: What's with spouses overstepping and making unilateral decisions? That was *his* space, from *his* grandfather. So what if the things were fake, they are sentimental to him. Put the stuff back where they belong and leave it alone!

[@ynmonroe]

Yeah. It literally didn't affect her at all. She sounds uber selfish but smart enough to realize she might have bitten off more than she could chew, so walked her actions back. Thing is, OP's husband sounds smart enough to keep an eagle eye on her from here on out.

[@aubreymorgan9763]

I have a coin and Avon perfume bottle collection from my grandmother that I’ve added to. They’re worthless! But they were a cute and HARMLESS hobby that I cherish. That was his space with his things and she redid it to her taste.

[@patty-pat-pat]

S2 infuriated me. Poor guy!

[@emanymton7184]

If I was OP's husband I 'd wait till she isn't home, clear out the house of all her deco stuff and have a little bonfire. Oh, and I'd change the locks too. This is asking for a divorce territory.

[@eldeano9964]

Gets influenced by tiktok, uses the silent treatment, ignores reality because it doesn't align with the fantasy in her head. Changes the narrative with others, weaponises the kids, uses sex as a bargaining chip, does not care about her own husbands feelings, boundaries, health, input...

[@michamocha]

S2: "I'm starting to think I overstepped" you think? The collection was out of the way in _his_ office and room. She got to decorate the rest of the house to her liking but god forbid he has this one little space for himself. Op needs to learn boundaries and how to respect the fact that others have different opinions, wants, and likes than her. She's too grown to be acting like this.

[@andrewmildenberg4210]

I'm surprised no one brought up the fact that OP in story 2 kept justifying her action because the knickknacks didn't hold any monetary value. As if all collections or hobbies need to have monetary value to be considered worthy? Does sentimental value hold nothing to this woman? It was clearly stated the husband knew the items were replicas and not genuine, so it was obvious to me, a complete stranger, that he held onto them because they were important to him as they were. As a piece of his grandfather's legacy and memory. How am I, a stranger, able to immediately see the personal value these items held and his WIFE, the person who ostensibly should know him best, didn't understand that? The guy wasn't holding on to this collection to make money. He held on to it because it was personally important to him. So fucked up.

[@ajb7530]

I'm on OPs side. The kids are not toddlers anymore. The house doesn't need to be cleaned 24/7 every day. After a few years, what would happen if OP suddenly passed away and the money stopped. The wife would need to start all over again. The world isn't in the 1950s or 1960s anymore. A lot of families need 2 incomes to support the family. If you look at expensive places to live like some areas in the US, Canada, UK, Japan, etc, 1 income won't cut it. Also, what about kids' college funds. What the wife did, it is pure laziness. She doesn't want to work. Well, too bad, she needs to pull her own weight, and get back to work.

[@patty-pat-pat]

wont she get his pension (monthly) if he passes away? I live in EU, might be different in the USA.

[@mimi.dixon.b]

@@patty-pat-patwe don’t really have pensions here anymore, but he probably has a retirement savings account she could get her hands on

[@MrJpaynebb]

If she wants to be a traditional wife then OP should treat her like one. Cancel all joint cards. All joint bank accounts except 1 for the household and deposit his check into a separate account. OP can transfer money for household bills and give her an allowance every 2 weeks or monthly for her "fun" expenses. Of course all house work, cleaning, grocery shopping and lite household maintenance needs to be done by her. Hope she's ready to really get that full traditional housewife treatment.

[@patty-pat-pat]

@@MrJpaynebb that sounds like torture!

[@hughg.rection1421]

​@@patty-pat-pat Exactly, which makes me question why the wife thinks this is a good idea...

[@aubreymorgan9763]

Always remember the concept of “tradwife” and the leave it to beaver nuclear family of the 1950s was mostly propaganda. Many families through history had both parents working even kids as soon as they’re old enough to. Stay at home wife was always a privilege not every family had

[@GLoLChibs]

Also this. The majority of families being 'traditional families' where only the husband worked is a fairly modern tradition. A wife staying home and not working has always been a luxury. Average women worked before having kids, and after the kids were older because the 2 incomes were needed. Of course back then, men did have reason to protect their wives and family more often, helped build buildings in the community, were voluntold to fight in wars, expected to be on the town's firefighting force, etc. There was a lot more going on in the communities that men were obligated to take care of that made it reasonable for women to take care of home while working.

[@tomorrow4eva]

A lot of those women did unpaid caring and community work, beyond just childcare and cleaning.

[@zachf748]

The amount of disrespect to just quit your job, then tell your spouse *_"you’ll get over it”_* is insane…

[@kazzuo32]

This tradwife bs, are people really thinking this is soo amazing??? Sure sure they think Im going to be a tradwife to my rich husband, girl get serious most households can't make it with 2 people working full-time, what makes them believe 1 is going to work out. Gee

[@CanyonALynn]

Agreed. Jobs nowadays do not support an entire family like it was decades ago.

[@meggammacisaacrylie7869]

There have been quite a few former tradwives who've spoken out on social media as of late. These women, mostly between the ages of 40-50, were left by their husbands. These women had no work history or skills to get a good paying job and their ex-husbands had all the control of the money. Also, in many of these cases, it was their ex-husbands wished for them to be tradwives. To me, it's a level of control over these women's lives that has no place in 2024 and leaves women at a terrible disadvantage should the marriage fail, especially if the women never worked and/or never went to college.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

@@meggammacisaacrylie7869 No….the WORST thing about it is that it’s a f**king fantasy that never was…for a lot of people. The middle and upper middle classes could do that crap. Did they think that women never worked in the past? You can bet your year’s salary that working/poorer/farm wives worked…..which, in the past, was probably a larger % than the Leave It To Beaver crowd. WOMEN HAVE ALWAYS WORKED outside the home.

[@Rose-yt5hi]

@@meggammacisaacrylie7869I have nothing against couples and families who decide that one should be a SAHP for the benefit of their family unit. I don’t even have anything against rich ass people where the wife’s role is more or less as the social face of the family-working to bolster the family’s social standing while the husband works to bolster their financial standing. Heck, I don’t even have anything against like… trophy wife situations where her primary function is to make her husband look good in return for a cushy life. So long as everyone’s on board with the situation and it is equitable in its own way, it is what it is. But the whole TradWife movement is some other level of cultish BS. So many of those posts are women in frilly dresses and designer kitchens saying things like, “My role in life is to serve my husband; I let my husband make all the decisions because I don’t want to use my brain.” 🤢

[@kazzuo32]

@meggammacisaacrylie7869 yes And I'm glad they are speaking up. Because people see their videos but don't know who they really are. If I'm not wrong one of those famous one end up to be married to a jetblue owner family.

[@brandi5126]

S2: YTA. You definitely overstepped. It's his home, too. He deserves to have spaces that feel like his and bring him joy even if it isn't your cup of tea.

[@JasperCatProductions]

You went in his office and took out his stuff, like he was a two year old. Ick, it’s a home for both of you, poor dude.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

This woman is fucking manipulative as fuck. The crying is just a new tactic and not going in the right direction. Couples therapy is going to fix this, she is just going to deflect and say he is the one with the problem, there’s just no saving this marriage. I get he has to try and do his best but it's over. Sure, he can give it a shot but he might end up dead because of all the stress, both from work and his selfish wife.

[@burntblonde2925]

Why don’t they both keep working, and both retire earlier? I feel bad for this guy. What is she thinking with his heart condition? Selfish

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 nta she knows how bad op has it but she didn't care and she thinks he can be manipulated by non-stop love bombing.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

And then bringing the kids into it to get them to guilt trip the OP into it. This isn't something the OP should ignore or let slide. Either she apologizes and works to get another job or they split.

[@cgi2002]

I suspect she is actively trying to get pregnant so she can justify it.

[@RayvenLunaNite]

Story 2: YTA!!! Art is SUBJECTIVE. You may not like but your spouse does. As an artist with decades of practice and a physical portfolio, my spouse would NEVER touch my art in such a way WITHOUT consulting me first. He knows all my pieces have some meaning to them

[@ssamelion1sard914]

My grandmothers and Great Aunts that lived in the "Trad Wife Times" scrimped and economized with every aspect of their household. Mending clothes, re-purposing & re-styling clothes, saving the egg money and books of Green Stamps to buy a nice set of fancy dishes or silverware, etc. It wasn't easy, and putting on a fresh dress and lipstick while serving a favorite dinner of the husband's doesn't mean that all was well and happy. A lot of it was done to put on an appearance when they were crumbling to pieces inside.

[@LadyLoveMa]

Story 1: the wife is definitely trying to work Op to death for the insurance money. It was downright cruel for her to quit her job knowing her husband's medical condition.

[@nutritionnut3975]

I think that prospective is rather absurd. Insurance is meant to be a bandaid and doesn’t usually make one wealthy after the fact unless one is already fairly stable

[@locusxe1411]

⁠​⁠​⁠@@nutritionnut3975they are stable though. Where do you think Ops money will go if he were to pass? It would go to his wife and children. And you don’t know how much insurance can benefit ones financial situation

[@Rose-yt5hi]

@@RisetoStrengthIt’s like one of the big tip off for a murder-large life insurance and someone trying to collect it right after the suspicious death. lol.

[@nutritionnut3975]

@@locusxe1411 but then she’ll have to go back to work something she doesn’t want to do

[@bricksloth6920]

My partner and I have different taste in art. He doesn't like my modern art. You know what I did? I bought him vintage landscapes with mountains and elk, and prints of patent schematics for generators and Tesla coils. And he hung them where he wanted to. I didn't try to "suggest" they go in the bedroom or in the corner. Who cares if he wants to have a gallery wall above the patio door? It's not hurting anybody. We don't have "his" and "my" space. We have OUR space.

[@momop1848]

Story 2: It's interesting that OP was hung up on the value of the things because storage gets expensive. It's also risky since your stuff can be sold (US) if you can't/don't pay the bill (unless you're enlisted military). She may have had a unit already, and she sucks regardless. But I used to work for a storage company. People spend a lot of money storing things they often end up trying to dump later.

[@Myythmeister]

He can easily take her to the cleaners, but the fact he won't is a true testament to his loyalty. Guy deserves better.

[@locusxe1411]

I hate that “in my culture” bs. Idc how insensitive it sounds but Ops culture sucks. His wife is a manipulative pos. She doesn’t feel bad at all. She’s only buttering him up and he’s falling for it. His parents failed him by siding with her

[@maurer3d]

Story 1: NTA, in today's economy it is nearly impossible to have a "Traditional marriage", most families would be homeless if both parents don't work. Better to divorce her now, and get split custody, which would force her to go back to work to help support the family. Story 1 (update): Yes this whole "epiphany" form her is most likely a manipulation. Story 1 (update comments): 1) "Divorce is a last resort, I want to fix this", you can't fix something she has no interest in fixing. The only way to fix it is for her to go back to work willingly, and she has made it clear she doesn't care. 2) "Yes I have insurance", and there it is she wants you to be stress and die, so she can collect that juicy insurance money, and move in her affair partner (or find a new husband, if she isn't having an affair)

[@noname-ip9xe]

What an evil woman I hope court takes his children away from her

[@poohbear4515]

“I threw away my husband’s collection and now he won’t speak to me” Gee….I wonder why? Maybe because you, oh i don’t know….threw his property out of HIS room without permission??? They may have been useless junk, but husband loved them because they were his grandfather’s possessions! Even if he was scammed, they were sentimental to him! They were his stuff and OP had absolutely NO RIGHT to move them out, if she didn’t like it? Well tough cookie. At the end, it shows how overly controlling OP was towards him. God forbid he has one room for himself when the entire house is all her style! If this was an AITA post, OP would be a hard YTA.

[@lenax9798]

I'm a huge need and collect funkos, figurines and all that sorta stuff. If my partner decided to "do me the favor" and pack it up and put it in storage because they liked it that way more, I'd respectfully tell them to pack their bags and kick their butt to the curb. My stuff is my stuff and no one touches my stuff😂

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Yeah, I don’t know how to feel about the second post. Initially I was glad OP acknowledged they were in the wrong and rectified their mistake and apologized, but the comments made good points about her still thinking she was in the right. Maybe it is a positive update and OP is slowly but surely heading in the right direction and just needs time.

[@alexpapworth9395]

Dude she didn’t have a mental breakdown she threw a tantrum

[@jakeking3859]

There is absolutely no more trust there. His wife seriously does not care about him at all, with is so sad, but there can really be no coming back from that. OP really needs to face the music and divorce her.

[@maurer3d]

Story 2 (before update): YTA, who cares if the stuff is reproductions, it isn't the financial value he likes about them, it is the sentimental and esthetic value. You had no right to redesign his office without permission.

[@NinjaNanya]

Well, I would Chuck a Prawn on the barbie, but my Auzzy Hubby Markee is allergic, wouldn't want to scare him away from ever coming over if he ever gets outta Gitmo.

[@QuayHollywood]

We'll throw some steaks on the barbie. Our Aussie hubby likes steak.

[@NinjaNanya]

@@QuayHollywood plan Tempt Our Auzzy Hubby to escape Gitmo with Steak on the Barbie is a go!

[@davedadrummajor7438]

Burnout is real and to go from work to more stress….. yikes

[@GLoLChibs]

This. I stay home and help my partner's elderly father while he works. So many people are quick to tell him I need to break, but they never have an answer when I ask them about when he's supposed to get a break.

[@davedadrummajor7438]

@@GLoLChibs it’s only good when they don’t have to put their best foot forward and be the help

[@Fangybite]

The lifestyle you have in a marriage requires two yesses. Nobody gets to make unilateral decisions.

[@twentyfiveyears5010]

Story 2, OP is right, Husband should get rid of all that stuff that is fake and has no value. Starting with his wife.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

You had us in the first half, not gonna lie.

[@hughg.rection1421]

You really had me going with your comment there.

[@wheelsndealz]

the fact she's going against her husband to be a "trad wife" is total hypocrisy. if she was a trad wife, she would be listening to her husband more. the most honest thing she said was "I've worked enough", that's the whole thing. she just doesn't wanna work anymore. which would be an honest discussion topic. if she's burnt out. whatever. but she found something to latch onto that would accomplish her goal (less work) and just did what she wanted.

[@SongBird101]

Story 2: OP is TA, but at the very least she didn’t actually throw everything out and just put it in storage. I’ve seen sooo many stories where they actually literally throw important stuff away

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

18:40 this was so sad and telling and OP just dismissed his very valid feelings Idk how OP wrote all that and saw how depressed the husband got and still had to ask

[@Braindoner101]

New update: the guy says he plans to divorce, the wife does the second chance thing, then she starts children alienation by telling everyone the guy’s planning on leaving the kids, including the kids.

[@Rael0505]

Withholding sex as punishment is like poison to a marriage

[@GLoLChibs]

'Dinner on the table and endless bjs'...riiigghhhttt. If she works 50% of the time she should be the one to be cooking dinner most days anyway. I'm a home hubby taking care of my husband's elderly father, farm, and our home. Cleaning and cooking take up no time but I bet anything she'd expect him to come home and do 50% of the housework.

[@someanon1984]

Story 1: Here's what I don't understand... Tradwives are not the same as housewives. Tradition implies that the woman centers her husband and children over herself. It's an unequal partnership by definition. If your first step into the tradwife life is strong arming your husband into the lifestyle, you've already failed step 1.

[@someanon1984]

@@RisetoStrength ... Yeah, this all sounds like traditionalist cope.

[@KaileyB616]

Lol you're completely right 😂

[@samfoop123]

⁠@@RisetoStrengthok I’m gay who ‘ lays their life down ‘ for me huh?

[@grimdarkmalarkey5402]

​@samfoop123 I'm also gay, and these relationship dynamics are so weird to me since I'm literally never going to fulfill them. Plus, they're very idealized. I'm also neurodivergent, and I know exactly what I want for my life. I'm not going to be a stay at home wife, I'm going to be a biologist writing scientific papers and studying cool diseases and experiment with growing human organs inside genetically modified pigs for heart donations!!! Why would I want to stay at my house all day when I could be looking at tumors under a microscope???

[@untitled-gv3qp]

​​​@@RisetoStrength That's literally what they just said. She isn't being a trad wife and obeying him by trying to manipulate him into everything. No hate to trad wives (unless they're trying to push that onto others or judge those who aren't tradwives), I'm just saying that you can't go into that kind of lifestyle on your own without the other party agreeing to it. That wouldn't be him "laying his life down for her". It's her using him as a bullet proof vest.

[@DemonAngel]

I'm a SAHM, guess what? It sucks. (I love my kids dont get me wrong and I take care of my home). But we cant afford day care or a baby sitter (had one who wanted 10 an hour when I was making 12). I feel bad because my husband works all time and is tired. But as soon as my youngest is in school I'm getting a job

[@noname-ip9xe]

That’s the difference, her kids don’t need her at home, she’s doing this because she doesn’t want responsibilities, I was a nanny this is work, what she wants is to sit on her butt, have the schools take care of her kids and just live off her husband’s income.

[@kentario1610]

That's the difference, you care about your husband and want to alleviate his burden and missing out on your kids.

[@CannibalChxrry]

Tradwives are the worst. Story 2 is massively screwed up. She wants everything to go her way and her need for control is yikes.

[@RylieRiddle]

Last story: the only time it's okay to touch your spouse's collection is if they've asked you or it is intruding into the rest of the home in a messy way. If he leaves knick knacks on the floor in the living room or kitchen, pick them up, put them in his space and say this doesn't happen again, clean up your space to keep it clear. Hobbies should cause potential problems to the other people in the home, which is why people make hobby rooms.

[@exilhannabal]

When ppl say "tradwife", what they really mean is early retirement. Tradwife tiktok is literally just women basically showing that they are rich enough to not have to do anything Stay at home moms and "tradwives" from tiktok are not the same

[@aduckofsomesort]

You just know that these unempathetic people would throw a fit if someone threw away items that were sentimental to them.

[@thisishowitends]

After the story 1 update, it seems like the wife is having a quarter life crisis or thinks she's missing out because of her work life. Maybe she falling back on childhood romanticized ideas of what marriage is supposed to be, as well as their respective roles. None of this excuses her actions (and frankly there are a LOT bigger red flags than her quitting her job) but if OP wants to resolve his marriage issues without divorce, getting to the bottom of her thought process is the key.

[@felix0-014]

So story 1, I need to know OP and his wife's religion because this is a CRUCIAL piece of context given that OPs parents are muslim. In Islam women have the fundamental right to work BUT we also have the fundamental right built into the religion to be a SAHW/SAHM. If they are practicing Muslims, OPs wife may have been under the impression that they would eventually have a traditional marriage and was probably irritated that she kept being denied her right. It is a fundamental right for women in Islam because even in 50/50 relationships women frequently get a majority of the household and children dumped on them (just look at half of the reddit stories in r/relationships). OP left a lot of details out of the original post but this is a very important piece of information for context. OPs wife is a jerk for how she went about it but he may also be a jerk if he was stringing her along with traditional roles (especially if she handles the majority of children and home).

[@reneenoriega4524]

I would like to know this, too. While I'm choosing to trust OP on this one, it could also be a case of people not giving enough information in their benefit. Of course, at the end of the day, she did fuck up the moment he told her not to leave her work and she did it anyway

[@EmyEgy31]

story 1 : I think its depend on that if he done house chores and helped, does he do house chores with her or help her ? or its only her doing it alone always ? because its not fair she keep work outside and inside to help him, if he dont help in the house, like clean sometimes or cook ....etc. because I seen it in my country as Muslim, many Muslims men wants the wife to help, but they rarely help with house chores or kids and still call it wife duty. but if he helped her, then he is right to be mad.

[@noname-ip9xe]

Poor boy, my dad tried to pull something like that, luckily I was able to see through his bs and told him to never try to manipulate my sisters or we would have issues, divorce and give that boy therapy, he’s never going to be okay from this, he’s going to see his mom is manipulative and abusive and was willing to use him as a weapon.

[@spykewyn8395]

More great reasons for guys to just marry each other.

[@aubreymorgan9763]

“Hetero life parter “

[@olly2027]

Story one. Op has the right to divorce her.

[@Missroyal08]

Before reading the story, yta. After reading, nta. My mom was a SAHM my entire life. She worked three jobs before she quit to do so. I was 7 and my brother was 8. My dad asked her to do so. They sat down and made a budget that we had to adhere strictly to. When we moved into our first house, she spent a lot of time painting, decorating, fixing minor things that she could do on her own etc. She cooked 4 days out of the week. We had days we were expected to eat left overs. We had our own chores we were expected to do every week. My mother also managed all the finances. My dad would squander a penny if he was allowed to, so my mom had to handle it all. She did a lot and contributed a lot to making our house a home. OPs wife clearly doesn't understand what it means to be a trad wife. My mom never did anything major without talking to my dad about it. She clearly has no respect for OP.

[@VidGirl88]

The second story is still so rude she's like "yeah I'm sorry I hurt your feelings let me buy you some crap art to make you feel better"

[@aaronmedley7606]

S2...she doesn't get it not about the art it about the connection to his grandfather

[@tartlynerdy]

Story 1 - Op never had a perfect marriage. It only worked because op was willing to bend to make her happy until op wasn't willing to bend any more. Lastly, she doesn't care about the fact op would work himself into another heart attack and DIE if forced to pick up the slack from his wife quitting her job. This fact makes her a monster. She's going to take advantage of the fact op doesn't want to split the family up. Op needs to stop waiting for this heartless woman to regain her empathy. It's not going to happen. Story 2 - eh. I'm skeptical op really learned anything from this.

[@francissobotka8725]

She's become radicalized and will keep becoming more extreme .

[@thehousewifehomelife5519]

I’m a “tradwife”, in that I am a homemaker, cook all our meals, stay home with the kids, clean, etc. However, that was our mutual agreement before we even got married. I quite my job after our wedding and we don’t intend for me to even consider going back to work part time until our kids are out of the house at 18. I came into the married with far more assets (thanks mom and dad) and he came in with a very high salary and higher earning potential, so no prenup. Do I think our family structure is the best way to live and raise kids? Of course I do. The same way that everyone thinks their way is best because it makes them happy and works for them. The wife in the first story saw a fantasy online and thought it would make her and her husband happier. She went about it in absolutely the wrong way. And if both partners aren’t in agreement, then that’s that. She can live a “tradwife” lifestyle while working as well. And that may be her best option.

[@srideout91]

The OP in the first story is a doormat.

[@justme-qd6qb]

S2: wtf? Its never okay to touch someones belongings like that. Sure, communal spaces in the house need to be compromised on but his own office? And going behind hos back knowing that he would be upset is fucked up. Is an aesthetic hallway really more important ?

[@milkytales]

I’m unable to work due to illness. I do manage to do some housework and cook every night, and I have feminine tastes, but I certainly don’t consider myself a “trad wife.” When I’m not cooking, I’m in bed due to exhaustion. It’s sad. 😢 I care deeply for my husband’s wellbeing, and make sure he comes home to a good meal and a listening ear when he needs it. He is so awesome, and he deserves the best.

[@eldeano9964]

Story 2: The number of comments from pRedditors praising and kissing op's arse, just for acknowledging that other people like their own things in their small section of their own house. Jesus christ.

[@jasoncarter4343]

My wife is a SAHM and could be considered a “trad wife,”. Men, if you can’t afford to single handedly support a whole family, don’t have one.

[@littlepeeper9223]

In today's episode of "Horror Wifes"

[@FinnishLapphund]

#1 I wish OP had told his wife she's made him realise the importance of living in the now, and then regularly start talking about quitting his work so that he also can spend more time with their family. Even if OP hadn't had the health condition which makes him want to continue to work the same 80% he is working, it still wouldn't be right to expect him to go up to 100% only so that she could sit at home and twiddle her thumbs.

[@kentario1610]

It could have been funny to take the gifts he'd receive from his birthday a week out from his first post, and write fake "it was so nice working with you, I'm glad you're prioritising your health and quitting" notes to attach to the gifts.

[@EluneAnzu]

Story 1: Even if the wife isn't trying to work him to death for the life insurance she doesn't care at all about him, there's no way you push someone you care about whose already had a heart attack from work to work MORE, hell if anyone should be the stay at home parent between the 2 of them it's the one who can literally die if they work too much IMO.

[@denises3630]

Couples counseling or therapy? She needs to understand she cant be selfish like this, she should put her kids first, and keep working.

[@clockwork3494]

Story 2: I'm glad they somewhat "worked it out" but I do agree with some of the earlier comments saying she hasn't truly changed. I'm of the mindset that you should love most things about your partner even if they're quirky or odd, I'm sure there are some exceptions to be made but at the very least even if they have a hobby you don't like (like in OP's case) you should still be supportive of their interests. To me it sounds like OP isn't in love with her husband, but merely his looks and possibly the intimacy he provides, the rest about him such as this hobby of collecting knick knacks she seems to dislike if not despise which really makes me question their partnership. Bringing up his grandmother and grandfather was such a low blow and I feel awful for him since it seems this isn't the first time she's tried to strongarm him into a decision like this, considering how shocked she seemed at his response this appears to be the first time where he finally drew the line and set a boundary. Much like the rest of us I'm no expert, but I think they should go to couples counselling because her opinion on her husbands interests just doesn't sit right with me if she supposedly "loves him" so much.

[@Demonic_Culture_Nut]

Story 2 -- Can we stop disposing of þings þat bring our alleged love ones joy already? And þis OP goes even furþer by invading his personal space to do so. It doesn't matter if it's a baby blanket, children's toys, comics, or, in þis case, fakes and replicas. Þey bring joy to þeir owners. Story 2 update -- I don't like OP is "letting him" display some pieces in "our bedroom and living room". It sounds like þe bedroom and living room are still hers and not þeirs.

[@dream6562]

Story 1: yes OP is completely an a hole depending on her reasoning for wanting to be a house wife

[@Me-wk3ix]

The wife was in the wrong by being so manipulative. But I would make one thing crystal clear if I were her and wanted to stay home. You want us both to work because being the sole income earner is too stressful, and there isn't enough for me to do? Fine. That's not unreasonable. But EVERY job in the house is split evenly then. You will be bathing the kids, getting them up in the morning, putting them to bed, getting them dressed, helping with homework, grocery shopping, meal planning, cooking dinner, packing lunches, planning activities, making breakfast, cleaning, doing laundry, scheduling doctor and dentist appointments, taking the kids to those appointments, meeting with teachers, shopping for things they need, taking them to activities and events, just as much as me. Kids home from school sick or on break? Or the school needs them to be picked up? We can take turns on that. The kids get lice? You will be picking knits right along with me. Kids wake up in the middle of the night sick, throwing up, and with diarrhea? You guessed it. That will not be solely a me problem.

[@Monsterbunnych]

Yes. Me wanting to stay home and have a better life is very cultish.. 100%

[@hithropyro9051]

Story 2: people thinking the wife hasn't learned anything from this. Confuse me. What she learned is that while it does not meet her subjective taste in art. It has extreme sentimental value to her husband. Well yes it's ridiculous that it took the internet to show her that. It doesn't mean that she didn't learn.

[@Rose-yt5hi]

Quitting your job without your husband’s blessing and making unilateral decisions for the household doesn’t seem like a very tradwife thing to do. 🤔

[@jennifer1862]

Story 1: I would like to let women know that TRUE traditional housewives has all control besides making income. Just like many other things, stories you hear are only the negatives. I am also biased, as im currently staying at home, but i will be working when our kids start school (against my husbands wishes).

[@noname-ip9xe]

That one comment was stupid, being a traditional family isn’t bad,her approach to it was, it’s not sexist if a woman chooses with the consent of her husband to live this life style, something his wife didn’t care to get, bashing women who do this even with the okay of her husband in itself sexist.

[@Khadejiacat]

S1: wife is trying to get pregnant to cement this trap

[@betheguy_posts]

prawns is bugs 🦐

[@Ace_AloneWolf]

Delicious bugs😋

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

2- YTA, Even if they are reproductions, they're stuff he loves, and she missed with his space without permission!

[@TheDarwinProject1]

Story 1 (pre update, because my comments are mostly about assumptions, even if commenters were right in the update): I don't understand why no one is asking about the wife's job, if she might be burned out & needing a break, if she's having issues with someone/her boss maybe sexually harassing her or someone quit & now she's doing 2 positions, was she about to get fired & quit to save face or laid off, does she even likes her job/career or if she would be interested in changing jobs/careers, would going back to college be feasible & improve the wife's enjoyment in a new career, if she's having mental health issues, what is it about the "tradlife" that interests her? "I just thought that she'd get over it and that this was just a phase..." He sounds like a boomer parent trying to dismiss their teen telling them that they're depressed/LGBTQIA+. He didn't even ask her what she was planning to do with her time beyond cooking dinner & "blow jobs", just took that as an answer? Normally when a partner wants to make a SUDDEN life change, something is wrong, but he didn't seem at all interested in what it was, just said "no". I see lots of comments saying his wife doesn't care about him, but it also doesn't sound like he cares about her, either. The whole post, he was cold & distant when mentioning her, when usually even stories where the partner cheats, there is some nostalgic mentions of how much the OP loves their partner, how they met, how their partner is the most beautiful/handsom person. None of that is here. I will give him credit for at least mentioning he loves his wife at the end. I would have, at the very least, suggested marriage counseling to improve communicating skills with each other & getting real to understand if they even still love each other, didn't realize they'd fallen out of love with each other long ago, if divorce really is the only solution, but OP1 seems like hes already checked out of the marriage & was just waiting to pull the divorce trigger with how quickly & assuredly he decided on it. IF the wife was witholding sex as punishment & told their son about the divorce to emotionally manipulate OP, that was certainly wrong to use but we dont know how the kid found out, maybe he overheard the wife crying on the phone to her mother or the wife couldn't think of anything but the truth when he asked her why she's crying. People in the comments are making wild assumptions about the wife being toxic & manipulative, especially since OP has said their marriage was "perfect" up until recently, so the manipulation comes off as desperation in my view. Story 1 (update): None of the points above were addressed in the update, other than the wife saying she felt ignored by OP1 constantly rejecting her desire to be a tradwife. I found it concerning how OP1 said he was mad because his wife quit her job "without his consent"! I'm confused about how OP1 in the original post said they could do fine on his income alone, but in the update it says they will need to make major lifestyle changes? If this isnt OP1 being hyperbolic about the impact, then it sounds like he really needed to sit her down when his wife first asked seriously to go through their current finances with her & compare to OP1s income alone, showing her, COMMUNICATING with her. Ideally, if they were in couples' counseling, he would also communicate how her making unilateral decisions that affect the whole family emotionally hurts him, feeling disrespected & disregarded. He or the therapist may be able to get through to his wife that OP1 has more needs than sex & food. She may have been raised or indoctrinated online/through friends to believe her "wifely duties", what makes men happy are just sex & food.

[@fleurpouvior2967]

I'm petty, so if my SO up and quit when I'm not comfortable supporting us both, I'd cut finances. They doesn't want to work to earn money? That's cool, guess they doesn't need money. They wants money for clothes/gas/hair/phone/fun/etc? Hu, maybe they should start putting in applications, because I aint paying for any of that. Kids need clothes? Yep, I'll take them myself on my day off. We need groceries? Send me the list and I will instacart them. Is it financial abuse? Not sure. I'd be fully encouraging them to get a job, and have their own income for that stuff, and if they did, than they'd have my full support regardless of what that job was so long as it was legal.

[@rodolfoleon4538]

both wives of the ops need therapy and couples counceling to deal with what issues they have.

[@driversuz44]

Today's episode: Two spoiled entitled wives who don't even *know* how much they despise the men who pay their bills. (To be fair, the one who seems to be planning to work her husband to death so she can be a "trad" widow, yeah, she might know how much she hates her husband.)

[@Sandokitsune]

Yay! Super early! Love what you post ❤ keep going!

[@Akemi.24-45]

おやすみ〜、Markee. Sweet dreams. ♥️🤗😴

[@Mkay999]

I’m on the wife’s side she worked a long time and really wants this to make them happy. I think she’s will to make the cost of living sacrifices. Have a happy marriage and do that or divorce but you’re miserable at your job so you want her to continue her misery too. She will find another man who will happily do this. It is what it is.

[@身赤-w3w]

As a muslim you're not supposed to make your wife work. And if she does, all her money is hers to keep. Weird.

[@SkyEcho751]

Story 1: First off, completely disagree with the jackass that acts like "Tradwife" is some kind of cult. All it is, is a theoretical return to the system that worked for hundreds of years, wife takes primary care of things related to the household, while the husband works to bring in the money needed for the household, and is secondary for household care. But they still act like a team. Secondly, this ISN'T a Tradwife, she completely ignored OP in all ways, straight up stopped having sex to punish OP, and turned the kid against him. She's just decided she'd rather live in a life of leisure, not truly working at all. It's financial abuse is what it is. Story 2: Random Knickknacks are definitely something I can align with. Maybe the items don't hold much financial value, but they have an emotional value for him. The entire house was in your style, but you went full OCD and took over the space that was supposed to be 'His'. As a result, you've completely stomped over his boundary. I have a ridiculous collection of random things, and if my wife secretly stripped my space of my stuff, and then stuffed it into a locker. I'd probably end up getting pissed and going for gray rock reflection. It's good OP _reversed her actions and didn't get rid of his stuff for good,_ as I remember other posts where they do get rid of their partner's stuff for good, and because they dig in their heels, it results in a breakup or divorce.

[@kittykatbeans]

It's a good day if it starts with a Markee vid 😁❤️

[@NathanielTavington]

First story: Probably unpopular opinion, but I would say ESH. More gently towards the husband, much more so, and only because (at least from how he wrote his post) he was dismissing her just as unilaterally as she later dismissed him. The Tradwife rabbit hole is a cry for help, and he should have sat down with her in the very beginning to figure out why she wasn't feeling fulfilled or valued as a woman. I'm not saying it's his fault that she felt that way, just to be clear, only that she was feeling that way. As for her, yes, she's definitely an asshole, and an immature one at that. The fact that Husband did finally go back to try and talk it out and she did not reciprocate certainly makes her the bigger asshole, and if OP's immediate jump to divorce could have been argued as an overreaction before, she quite succinctly validated his scorched earth response.

[@brainfluidZ]

Redditors are so funny when they try to diagnose people. Armchair psychologists… 🎉

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

25:10 this entire comment sums up my feelings on this

[@dannyells]

If you don’t like the artwork your partner has, consider dressing it up a little: put it in nicer frames and make it more attractive. It’ll really take the aesthetic up.

[@clashwithwords]

my partner likes more darker stuff and has a lot of metal posters, I like a broad range of things but most of my art is cute girls and pastels. I did the work of putting everything up on the walls, but basically I made little zones all around the apartment that have slightly different themes/colors. so i the hace his metal posters on a wall with some other dark themed art, including the few prints I have like that! and other areas have a mix of similar colors even if the subjects differ. near our respective desks though, I put both of our favorites pieces of art - idk, it’s hard to explain but we found a way to bring our interests together and I think it looks nice!

[@gag141]

And this was a true story I would recommend seeing as he is Muslim and traditionally Muslim men tend to have multiple wives you suggest that. It's ask traditional as you're going to get

[@GalliaUchiha]

Op, your wife is cheating on you and wants more time to do so. You're married, so quitting a job is not something that can be decided unilaterally. You should take all your vacation time and pretend you quit your job too

[@owenllewellyn1428]

Just saw the cowboy hat. What's going on is it western day and snowing in Australia? No complaints about the hat just threw me off when I saw it.

[@vampire9545]

Religion corrupts another, as religion corrupts everything YTA in story 2 - what a unilateral decision

[@Grace_x68]

S1 OP shouldn't have slept with her. She is trying to get pregnant

[@theScytheofGod]

2nd story; too little, too late.

[@kaylafuller8948]

Op needs to put his big boy pants on and work to provide to keep his wife at home that is what real men do. If OP is going to do what is right for his kids it would be him working more so the wife can stay home

[@listenquitely2888]

S1: Another tik tok narcissists wife