If Cashiers Behaved Like Self-Checkouts

Back the Kickstarter campaign and help make Stimagz Series II a reality:
stimara.com/ryangeorge
Hi there hello please click the subscribe button and turn on notifications so I can feed my cats and dog.
Twitter/Instagram: @TheRyanGeorge

[@RyanGeorge]

Back the Kickstarter campaign and help make Stimagz Series II a reality: stimara.com/ryangeorge

[@jzilla1234]

Bro that's a fidget spinner

[@feha92]

Nothing about that was relatable to me, other than the inability to place your reusable LARGE bag (or bicycle basket) on the bagging area (despite first pressing "self-brought bag" button so it knows; I have since started to just place items directly on the area, and only bag them once the transaction completed). I am unsure if the fonts are in all-caps, but even if they are I don't think it's in a way that seems like screaming (some fonts just do well in all-caps. like manga titles). Also, their code is on the contrary, _annoyingly_ short imo :p Like, when I see them scan their card, then before I have even realized I should look away they have entered a 3-digit code in plain sight, that's always something like "333". Never heard of any terminals with cameras. But the area is sometimes covered by a security cam anyway (and any creditcards used can obviously track back to you).

[@thebabyfacedking7441]

How much money are you trying to raise in your kick starter? Would be a question that a person to asked that recently just looked up Hemorrhoids on google. 😂

[@Kit_Sun]

@@jzilla1234 That's what I said. I love Ryan, but this product seems blowhard.

[@bigratkiller1]

NO! what a retarded stoopid thing

[@coolnerdlll6053]

I always love when Ryan clearly does a video on something that actually happened to him. It's very cathartic, I decided.

[@dietotaku]

pretty sure that describes every sketch he's ever done

[@sam8404]

​@@dietotakuexcept for the ones involving stuff like time travel.

[@unrealpotato2230]

@@dietotakufirst guy to murder, king, etc?

[@spazzypengin]

@DontReadMyProfilePicture.283 Ok

[@M1ntt806]

I feel decided, I decided

[@Beardless-Soul]

As a self-checkout assistant I can confirm that I would rather be anywhere else than at self-checkout.

[@drollfurball2863]

I like it, but I HATE the conveyor belt ones.

[@LizLuvsCupcakes]

@@drollfurball2863 I had to have one lady come deal with the machine three separate times, and I figured I couldn't just say nothing that third time so I tried apologizing, and she was like "you have nothing to be sorry for, these things suck."

[@marciamcdevitt964]

I came to say the same thing.

[@jazcaddell2443]

I was going through self checkout and my baby was absolutely losing it buying a pack of wipes and the lady was like honestly just take it.

[@Juggler4071]

"Your new job is to be an assistant to a machine who does your old job, only much worse and less efficiently than you did. Which is why it needs you to assist it."

[@ChrisGagner]

I'm glad that we finally got the prequel to "The First Guy to Ever Shoplift".

[@Tater-General]

We also got a sequel to “The First Guy to Ever Shoplift” in “The First Guy to Ever Go to Jail”.

[@charliedegiulio9951]

@@Tater-General "The First Guy to Ever Go to Jail" is a sequel to many videos because they keep mentioning it.

[@kj-marslander]

@@charliedegiulio9951 you mean prequel

[@GeneralStriker]

Lmao

[@vreikezen8268]

If you notice clearly, this is the first guy who scammed someone

[@yolo_hans]

Ryan behind Ryan staring at Ryan is the most Ryan thing ever.

[@anotherfeat1647]

That's So Ryan!

[@favoritemustard3542]

...showing Ryan surveillance footage of Ryan. Ryanverse!

[@Justin_Leone]

Maximum Ryan!

[@JamesJoy-yc8vs]

Ryanception

[@skaughtmc6591]

Buying cat litter: “Please place your item in the bagging area.” Places it there. “OMG it’s too heavy! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!” Scans second box of litter. “Please place your item in the bagging area…”

[@MrChristianDT]

12 packs of soda, for me. "Place the item in the bagging area... For safety, please do not put this item in the bagging area."

[@DblTap317]

Just scan the first don't scan the 2nd one and leave it in the cart. It told you to leave cat litter in the cart. You are bad at directions.

[@lucbloom]

omg these systems seem so ill designed. Glad it’s different over here.

[@jennhoff03]

@@lucbloomWhere is "here?!" There's some paradise country without self-checkout??

[@alankertz5951]

@@jennhoff03 The US self check outs tend to be a nightmare, here in Sweden the self check out is kinda a breeze. It basically only stops if you try to buy something age restricted, doesn't seem to care about bagging or whatever.

[@amazingdragonboy1202]

If an evil ai hacked every machine in the world It would leave self checkouts unchanged.

[@plattbagarn]

The evil AI would be shocked.

[@TheLionPear]

Also it wouldn't bother replacing Comcast or the TSA

[@saundraschaefer]

LOL, good point.

[@belldrop7365]

It would leave everything unchanged. Keeping the status quo of the current dystopian reality would be what an actual evil AI would do.

[@DadaIorian]

Reminds me of the quote about how Satan wouldn't change much in America if he was running things. Suspicion among neighbors Race war Sterilized children Woke churches Extreme wealth disparity Popularized infanticide Rampant fatherlessness Etc...

[@Blackferret66]

Self-Checkout: Makes you go through a dozen questions about charities and such before letting you do your transaction. Also, Self-Checkout once your done: "Get out! Take your stuff and leave! Move it! Move it! Move it!"

[@casvandijck9338]

Maybe in the US, but over here in the civilized world things are different :)

[@LjCaples]

​@@casvandijck9338 Antarctica has a civilization? Neat!

[@casvandijck9338]

@@LjCaples I'm pretty sure that there's a joke in your comment somewhere, it's just that the punchline was punched in a direction where my face wasn't.

[@agarcia3986]

No but that was also me as a cashier once the transaction ended, especially if there was a long line. “Okay you’re all done kindly Gtfo of the way bitch so I can help the next sorry bastard who decided to come to my lane when there are like 4-5 other ones open, go on! Shoo!”

[@corynicolas3175]

​@@casvandijck9338Where might that be?

[@gossamera4665]

I've never used one of these, but recently I had the opportunity to view some other people who were not me using them, and there's these traffic lights on top of them, and for almost every single one of them the red light came on and they had to stand there awkwardly and wait for a store employee to arrive, which sort of defeats the whole purpose of self check-out entirely, I've decided.

[@BadGuyKryptonite]

It's the nuance of the mustache in the Ryanverse....the supervisor's mustache was present of course, but it was not large so he clearly was not the boss of the store .. it was more like a mid level stache

[@grandmasterace4785]

The mustache hierarchy of the Ryanverse.

[@marcw6875]

It was more of a "cashier lead" mustache rather than a "store manager on duty" mustache.

[@cadenchurchill4296]

Your comment made my day 🤣

[@AvatarOfGames]

A "mid-stache", if you will 😆

[@alexanderreynolds6018]

the other day I was scanning my groceries at the self checkout, and after scanning the yogurt I realized it would be most stable underneath the peanut butter instead of on top so I briefly rearranged those two items in the bag. when I clicked the pay button the register shut down completely with that "help is on the way message" and when the attendant came over it displayed in VERY LARGE LETTERS "Has This Item Been Scanned" and played a video at half speed of me rearranging the yogurt and the peanut butter while I and the attendant waited for about 6 years for it to be over. all that to say, this video triggered the same primal rage in me

[@Emma-es4dq]

Something similar happened to me the other day! I was buying a few packages of ramen, and most of them were next to each other in the cart, but one had gotten separated. So, when I scanned the ramen in the self checkout, one of them was scanned several items after the others. The computer freaked out, locked down, and asked the employee “Have the correct number of items been scanned?” It was totally bizarre.

[@coolworld520]

Geez! I feel ya man, I would have just left everything and left 😅

[@ecocentriclife]

Because of course someone attempting to steal would put the item out on display in the bagging area. Slick move there! 🙄

[@jankoodziej877]

​@@ecocentriclife That's actually exactly how people steal items in those self checkouts. The typical method is to scan cheaper item just to insert something much more expensive. It's not that people put items in the pockets.

[@TF2CrunchyFrog]

A good example of how modern Architectures of Control train humans through coercion to change their behaviour to fit the machine, instead of the machines being build in a way that serves us humans.

[@robins5828]

One of my favorite little scenes in Sherlock was John arguing in the store with the chip and pin machine (British self checkout apparently) as it can't read his card, tells him unexpected items in the bagging area, etc. as he gets more and more wound up. He comes back empty handed, and Sherlock is like, "Where are the groceries?" John: "I had a row with the chip and pin machine." Most relatable scene in a TV show ever.

[@linksbetweendrinks7032]

Oh yeah. I remember attending a lot of meetings when self-checkout systems were being designed. My contribution to those meetings was always "That idea could easily backfire."

[@DoofenSpyroDragon16]

Your contribution really helped then 😂 Not by much since they still backfired 😆

[@DoofenSpyroDragon16]

Okay that sounded better in my head lol

[@la_scrittice_vita]

You were not wrong!

[@Mr2greys]

If it cuts expenses (aka payroll) while maintaining profit levels there is no backfire

[@tylerj6024]

“I think we’re gonna need the assistance of somebody that would rather be anywhere else but here”😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Kevin_2435]

To be fair, I think that is the case with every retail employee in America. Perhaps every job.

[@ctakitimu]

@@Kevin_2435 Bro, it's not just America. It's every company that keeps the majority of the profits the employee contributed to, for those board members who don't seem to do much except occasionally fly around the country to bless you with their benevolence, while getting over priced catering delivered for their lunch breaks.

[@lilsabin]

@@Kevin_2435 Not just america indeed . P.s. Ryan Lives in Canada and I can confirm to you that we have the same issues , hahahahahhaha. Unless You meant America as a continent :P :)

[@Kevin_2435]

@@lilsabin That's true. I always forget that Ryan is Canadian lol.

[@tylerj6024]

@@Kevin_2435 must be a North American thing lol

[@Mofi25]

My local shop has the message at the end: "Please take your receipt and shopping" but due to the accent or something, it always sounds like "Please take your receipt and shuv it". I hope they never change.

[@freedustin]

The one near me has terrible timing and always says "Please take your re-thank you."

[@stephaniemorrissey5114]

I can't believe that I have to: scan items, bag items, AND pay full price. I'm doing the cashier's job, so I should automatically get 25% off!!

[@TristanCleveland]

I feel like there’s enough material here for another 5 skits. Don’t even get to having to go through a labyrinth of options at the end: no to donation, no to bags, no to loyalty card, no to proceed… damn it!!! (And thank you for this one: cathartic).

[@ericgauthier7040]

Just imagine if you scan the barcode on the broccoli. The machine flips out on that, you were supposed to type in the item code instead. Why put a barcode on an item that won't scan? Because!

[@perhapsyes2493]

The donation prompts from global multi-billion corporations pisses me right the hell off.

[@MargaritaOnTheRox]

The whole "put item in bagging area" and then "unexpected item in bagging area" is definitely a long forgotten trauma for me. What do you want from me, computer?! It's one of the reasons I started despising them and don't use self checkout.

[@davidhayes7609]

Yeah I'm glad they finally started going away from that. At least where I shop.

[@pvanukoff]

Yeah, I still tend to use the normal lines. They should apply a discount when you use the self-checkout, you know, since you're doing their job for them (scanning and bagging).

[@byronheath8925]

@@pvanukoff I consider the discount to be that I don't waste an extra ten minutes of my time listening to the lady in front of me talking to the employee about her grandkid's vacation to LegoLand.

[@jeanaprewitt9658]

But you get such a nice discount when you self-checkout. Oh, wait, instead of that, you get extra suspicion.

[@calebmauer1751]

@@byronheath8925 Dude exactly, some people just can't shut up even as the line behind them gets longer and longer and longer.

[@GlenSanders54]

I'm hideous AND untrustworthy!

[@BTAxistube]

Pfft, I'm far more hideous and untrustworthy than you.

[@b0000kify]

I feel seen

[@Vladislav888]

@DontReadMyProfilePicture.283 Don't worry, I wouldn't. I'd rather report you for spam

[@hermask815]

Please attach a picture to your comment 😊

[@Somerandomguy524]

well, studies show that ugly people are more likely to been seen as untrustworthy, and the opposite is true for good looking people. Must be nice winning the genetic lotery.

[@DeltaXK144]

“Whoops I didn’t put my bag in the bagging area.” **HEAVY BREATHING**

[@niceguy191]

The only self checkout I've ever enjoyed using is the one at Home Depot. They forgo the stupid scale weighing everything and let you use a scanning gun (with green laser sight!). Beep beep beep and it can all just stay in your cart it's amazing.

[@Kagrynac]

1:16 The whole sketch is perfect but that face really is the cherry on top

[@face3408]

​@DontReadMyProfilePicture.283 I did all the things you told me not to do, I decided

[@IRanOutOfPhrases]

I have never seen him look as sassy as that in any other video. Didn't know he could do that, tbh

[@Marvelfanatic3658]

Ok

[@gfmol845]

He could stop a shuriken with that Look...

[@nilanjanmitra4431]

The famous Anton Chigurh stare

[@davestevens2908]

Watching my local Walmart go almost completely self checkout then removing more than half of them for regular checkout lines because of all the stealing was hilarious.

[@Super-wx6br]

My walmart has only a quarter of the checkout lines actually working

[@veganconservative1109]

What's frustrating is when they close the self checkouts but don't add cashiers back. Peak buying time and only two or three cashiers available in a mega store.

[@JonSmith-hk1bq]

@@veganconservative1109 That was Walmart even before self-checkout.

[@laurencefraser]

Meanwhile, around here, the supermarkets basically just replaced their 'express' checkouts with sets of self checkouts. Still need the same number of staff members to oversee them, but customers can have more than 12 items (like, not Excessive amounts due to various practical factors, but it's the sort of thing where you don't tend to need a rule because the logic of the situation causes most people with too many items to just... not want to try to use the self checkout with all that stuff, and you don't have to worry about if you've got 12 things or 20) and, depending on how things go, they can process potentially up to six times as many customers in the same space of time, and with less queueing (in practice it's probably closer to 4 times than 6, because random customers, but it's still a higher throughput). No detectable increase in theft, either. Of course, supermarkets around here seem to be a lot better about having all the checkouts working, too. Never seen a self checkout out of order, and while sometimes some of the staffed ones are closed, there's always enough open to handle the number of customers that are present without the lines getting to be more than maybe 4 people long, tops. And shoplifting in general... well, I won't say it doesn't happen, but not to anything like the absurd degree I see described when talking about the failings of self checkout in the USA...

[@rianmacdonald9454]

@@veganconservative1109 Then just dump your cart and come back later. They will soon learn to hire more staff, when their shelves are empty as there are 100 carts at the check out.

[@Gredddfe]

"That item you just placed on the scale. Is that tomatoes, fuji apples, or red delicious?" It's bananas. "The cashier will now verify"

[@themenacingpenguin.7152]

This is what we should actually be using AI for, making self checkout machines able to tell which fruit/vegetable is which by image. They already got cameras anyways, some dipshit cars can tell what a traffic cone is, hell people are using it so they don't have to write some bullshit English essays for something they don't care about. So why cant we use it to make self checkout machines able to detect if you're trying to gyp the store or not.

[@AnnoyingMoose]

Self checkout: UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA! Me: I'm going to need you to get all the way off my back about that.

[@frankvandorp9732]

The reverse would also be funny, a check-out starting small talk about the weather, going inexplicably much slower than all other computers beside it, and calling in the help of another, more experienced self-checkout to be able to read a barcode.

[@dkstudioart]

At least half of the time the self checkout experience at Walmart is far better than the cashier experience. This is primarily because with self checkout you have multiple machines for one line, so if one shopper or machine has an issue it doesn't hold everybody else up.

[@Joneender]

Sounds like something straight out of hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy 🤣

[@sidwhiting665]

@@dkstudioart agreed. Wally World did a good job of responding to user feedback and their system is fairly good now. It's rare that I have problems there, and it's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much faster than the old lines with 3 people in front of me with 100 items each in their cart, and the little old lady who wanted to hand-write her check while discussing her grandkids with the cashier.

[@byronheath8925]

I love self-checkouts! It's been years since I had to interact with a stoned employee trying to price check their own lanyard while my ice cream melts.

[@mazroon]

Except making fun of people working in unappreciated, stressful jobs next to the machines that are replacing them is not as funny.

[@samvimes9510]

In Japan they have convenience stores that are completely unmanned and the registers will automatically detect all the items you have because they use RFID instead of barcodes. In North America, we have self-checkouts that can't even scan items properly.

[@stadthaus.7266]

So which one is worse in your opinion?

[@andyharris3084]

True but then again in Japan you have vending machines for used schoolgirl panties. Advancement can be a double edged sword.

[@mwojcik2]

It's not like that hasn't been tried here. IBM ran a series of TV ads promoting the concept, what, a couple of decades ago? (Oldest KZbin copy of one I found was from 16 years ago, so I guess that's in the ballpark.) And while Amazon is currently pretending its "Just Walk Out" cashier-less checkout system is the new hotness, it's basically a retread of their "Go" system, which went live in 2016. Amazon Go never caught on with shoppers or merchants. The marketing push for Just Walk Out is a lot bigger, and Amazon have some bigger venues they own where they can introduce it, so maybe they'll have more luck this time. Personally I'm not impressed, but then I'm not impressed by most "innovations", because I'm surly and unsupportive.

[@MartinFinnerup]

@@andyharris3084 From a quick Google search, most, if not all, of those are not actually used. It's just that any English signage doesn't state that, so foreigners think it's true.

[@Bippitybuppity]

@@andyharris3084 Indeed, no matter what way you slice it its always sharp and on point

[@wrathofainz]

My favorite thing about self-checkout is having to lie about using a bag because I'm paying in food stamps and don't have cash or change, but they cost 10 cents per bag and food stamps won't cover it. I had to have an employee come over and remove the bag entry from the computer and advise me to lie about it in the future -_-

[@gazzelleFLORENCE]

That's actually weird for me because (at least here in Colorado) as someone who works retail, all the government assistance cards (food stamps, wic, snap) automatically take off the bag fee, so you don't have to lie.

[@wrathofainz]

@@gazzelleFLORENCE It might have just been the store's pos POS system. Most stores put the bag on SNAP. It may have been time-related as this was shortly after the stores started selling bags

[@wrathofainz]

@@gazzelleFLORENCE bags are generally covered by food stamps now but for a time they were not. I don't like how that event triggered bags to be a for-sale item permanently.

[@TheCamoWolf]

There shouldn't be a fee for the bags, there didn't use to be.

[@snooklin2724]

“Just gonna start shoplifting” So true

[@Barnaclebeard]

My petty larceny has gone from zero to non-zero since this bullshit started

[@naamadossantossilva4736]

Doss Canada have a law the allows you to steal groceries for a month like California has?

[@CasparSG]

@@Barnaclebeard My petty larceny has gone from non-zero to I still pay for some of the stuff on some days if I feel like it since this bullshit started. I don't think it has anything to do with this particular bullshit, though. It's more that food prices have tripled and my budget hasn't. I don't mind self checkouts. It makes it very easy to not pay for stuff. (Also, they probably record everything, but at least they don't show it to me.)

[@ichijofestival2576]

@@naamadossantossilva4736 Ah, yes, that shoplifting "epidemic" all those grocery stores screamed about, then quietly retracted when it turned out they were just failing businesses and the news media had been running isolated incidents on a loop.

[@EnzoDiscoveryMoonLight23]

@CasparSG bro just exposed himself

[@defective6811]

'we waste literal hundreds of millions of dollars on absurdities _every year_ but do you want to give five bucks to some vague poor people? If you don't give at least a dollar to some vague poor people then you suck!' 'wanna _also_ round your total up to the next full dollar amount for other vague poor people? Reminder that we waste _billions_ and could easily give money instead, but we prefer to make you feel like it's your fault and also we are keeping at least some of that money for ourselves.'

[@becca53444]

Omg I’m so sick of being asked to round up my change EVERY transaction. It used to just be during the holidays, and now it’s all year. Donate to the needy yourself CEOs and stockholders.

[@joshbobst1629]

I stopped feeling bad about those about the time every news show had a piece about how most charities are scams that exist to pay the salaries of their employees. Very little of the contributions go to the supposed intended target.

[@danielkorladis7869]

No, I am a poor people.

[@defective6811]

@@danielkorladis7869we are too!

[@Nerdy1729]

@@joshbobst1629 Because the companies make sure that their employees stay poor of course by not paying them

[@alecrichards8574]

"Self checkouts are super easy, barely an inconvenience!" "Oh really?" "No, actually they're not." "Disappointing people's expectations is TIGHT!"

[@drollfurball2863]

They’re actually easy, but there’s several tricks to it. Problem is it depends on the model you’re using. We use Toshiba. (Should be able to ask the attendees “are there any special rules this thing has to follow?” One general rule is use it with one hand behind your back. The camera and machine can’t comprehend the fact that humans have 2 hands. If it’s got lights near the scanner, they SHOULD stop blinking when you can scan the next item. BEFORE you scan the next item you should be able to take the bags off without it yelling at you. If it includes a scan-gun, you cannot use both the scan-gun and the bagging area at the same time. Using the scangun assumes this item will not be placed in the bagging area. So if you DO try to put it in the bag anyway, it’ll be like “wait… are you trying to pull a fast one with me?”

[@pablolasha]

@@drollfurball2863 I dont know if you are being serious but nothing about that sounded easy.

[@drollfurball2863]

@@pablolasha Honestly, I'm more of an "I'll give you a demonstration" kinda person. Just... Just use it with one arm behind your back and wait 2 seconds between scanning/bagging your item and removing it from the bagging area.

[@autumnberend828]

> Worked managing the Self-Checkouts Absolutely accurate. The worst part if most people managing them haven't a clue how they work or how to do basic troubleshooting, forcing several to be closed off for what is a simple fix.

[@TravisInDallas]

The only thing missing is the double scan. After the item won't scan it goes bloop, bloop. Then you have to call the attendant again to remove the extra scan

[@slendersera]

Did that with bread once. I learned after that to slide the item across versus trying to scan it by tapping downward.

[@danielkorladis7869]

Sometimes I wonder if this is intentional on the part of the companies to overcharge people who aren't paying attention, or are in a hurry.

[@dinorpg]

Or scanning something that's discounted but it gives you the normal price. Then you have to call the attendant.

[@rickstaism]

Shops in Australia don't let you scan another item until the first one is placed in the bagging area (makes sure it's the correct weight and you're not trying to scam the system).

[@TravisInDallas]

@@rickstaism Ours were like that in the past but it caused so many problems using weights they use cameras now. It still has issues obviously, but it' a lot better than having "unexpected item in the bagging area!" yelled at you all the time.

[@TheCardinalArt]

All I needed with that was to see the cashier get very confused trying to figure out what category an apple belonged to, not know how to weigh it then double charge for it when he figured it out. Love every sketch you do!

[@Zauchi]

when I briefly worked at a supermarket I did the reverse and had a fruit I'd never seen before so just charged them for one apple which I am sure was much cheaper than whatever they gave me. lol

[@JamesonHuddle]

why are there so many kinds of apples tho fr, also we hardly get trained, I am doing my best lol

[@raydunakin]

This was really funny, but I actually like the self-checkouts. Most of the time they're fast and easy to use.

[@skemsen]

"PLEASE SCAN YOUR NEXT ITEM!"🤣😂🤣OMG this video was so funny and exactly how I experienced my first encounter with those self-checkout-thingies except for the part about the hemorrhoid cream I decided.

[@r.g.kooper]

So whatelse helped?

[@FuzzyStripetail]

Shoplifting hemorrhoid cream was what actually forced one of the Power Rangers to be booted from the team and he ultimately found employment downloading the Power Rangers theme song on various self-checkout machines.

[@willdejong7763]

Ah! A-ha!! Natalie, if that is your real name, you have just led us one step closer to capturing the rogue hemorrhoid cream shoplifting Power Ranger!

[@rcrawford42]

I hear he just ot 180 days in a Nevada jail for being a jerk.

[@Insanity_Wolf]

I like when it triple scans an item. Then doesnt allow you to change the item quantity or delete item OR start the order over. That one is my favorite. ❤ I did in fact purchase 3 items because it took less time to go get two more of the item than wait for an employee. Even though I was only going to use 1/10th of the one I needed and just keep the others in a box until I throw them away.

[@sgtsongbird]

Don't say things like that!!! You'll make the Corporate Overlords think they should implement software that multi-scans single items on purpose because people will just shrug and buy more than they originally intended

[@chessicahullum2896]

I love how he immediately decides to shoplift as a resolve, it was barely an inconvenience, him deciding that

[@tremeloandtriplets]

'do not talk to me i will not respond' is my life motto

[@targetcj4894]

2:20 "Think I'm going to start shoplifting." Says it out loud. XD

[@louiswhite4395]

What?! 😂😂😂😂

[@OccultistLord4812]

"Hey! For the record, I was going to shoplift this."

[@targetcj4894]

@@OccultistLord4812 Fair point.

[@GetIrked]

Stores: “Why don’t people like self-checkout?” Ryan George: FML 😂😂😂

[@laurencefraser]

Funilly, enough, if you do it right in places where you havent' already trained the customers to hate you... they actually do like it! ... Doing it right costs more money though, and many large American chains have thoroughly trained their customers to hate them, so...

[@gabrielsiqueira6877]

My thoughts on many Ryan George sketches: "How can he make a video out of this premise?" followed by "this is one of the funnest thinks I have ever seen!".

[@grondhero]

One of the funniest moments my wife and I had at a self-checkout was when we went to ring something up and it gave an error. Then the employee who was watching stated loudly, "Put the item down and step away from the machine," as if she were law enforcement and we committed a crime. The self-checkout simply couldn't read the barcode. 🤷‍♂ One I had by myself was similar to the "untrustworthy" portion: I placed my personal reusable bag in the bagging area, got flagged and an employee came over. The screen showed video of me from above and the text on the screen was "did the customer forget to scan an item" which is politically correct public relations code for "did they steal something?" I had a friend post on FB once that an employee made a snide comment that he didn't ring an item up correctly. His response was, "Sorry, maybe you should have trained me better." 😆

[@drollfurball2863]

Got people who are like “can I get a discount for doing this myself?” Actually no, but you CAN get a discount if you do OTHER PEOPLE’S groceries.

[@HummingbirdSound]

The Power Ranger watch ringing brought me back and gave me shivers...! I actually shouted "It's morphin' time!" out of reflex.

[@delcox8165]

"UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA." All I did was move and open one of the bags that was already- "PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE." Goddammit!

[@Dr_Brown_Bro]

Oh my God he fully encapsulated the utter anger and frustration with self checkout. Definitely one of his best videos, I decided.

[@captainchaos3667]

I've always wondered exactly how this works in the UK and the US. We have self checkouts in the Netherlands, but it doesn't involve a special "bagging area" or a computer voice opining about what goes in it.

[@windshipping]

Same in France, self checkouts aren't the norm but when there are some, there is no voice or bag area, you just scan stuff, pay and be done with it. No specific cameras either, there are some at the entrance and inside anyway.

[@StevieQ]

Canadian here and I assume it's all security features to prevent theft. Every item is weighed so it knows you didn't put anything in your bag that wasn't scanned.

[@Objectified]

It varies from store to store. Walmart is different than Aldi is different from foo, and so on. It can also vary between locations of the same chain. A Walmart in one area may be a frustrating experience because that store experiences a high amount of theft while a Walmart in a different part of town may be very quick and simple.

[@laurencefraser]

don't know about the UK and the US, but in my part of New Zealand the machines do verbalise most of the instructions (doesn't tell you to place the item in the bagging area out loud unless you take too long to follow the instructions on the screen, though). But they do Not read out the specific items scanned. I honestly have no idea why it reads any of it out loud, you have to use a touchscreen for every input that isn't scanning an item or paying with a card, so people with eyesight so poor that they need the verbal instructions wouldn't be able to use it Anyway and all 12 of the things use exactly the same voice so between that and the accoustics and background noise in a supermarket it's pretty hard to tell which machine is saying any given line at any given time... The 'bagging area' is, as others have said, a security feature. it's basically just a scale. The machine knows what weight each item is, and it knows how much your bags weigh (you are asked if you have a bag, and if you say yes you are instructed to put it in the bagging area, before you start scanning your items). So if you scan something then don't put it in the bagging area (and, presumably, your bag), or add something that Wasn't scanned, it pings the staff member who's watching over ~6 self checkouts to come over and see what's going on (usually what's going on is that you dropped something, or got distracted, or the item was a bag of potato chips which inexplicably the scale at my local supermarket just never registers properly despite handling Lighter things just fine (the staff and regular customers know this is a thing and usually act accordingly)) and, usually, swipe their card and enter a code to get the machine to go back to work... though in theory if you're actually doing something sketchy they could call over the security guard... in practice this never actually happens so far as I know. Honestly, it all goes pretty smoothly and with minimum hassle here even when you do manage to do something that causes the machine to call over the supervising staff member. At worst it's the same speed as a regular checkout, often it's a bit faster, the lines are shorter, three people can be checking out their items in the space taken up by one regular checkout, and the staff of one regular check out is enough to supervise 6 self checkouts... and bagging our own groceries has been the norm here for litterally decades at this point. Just got to remember that the self checkouts replaced the old '12 items or less' 'express' checkouts and act accordingly (despite the lack of 12 item limit, the size of the bagging area still puts a functional limit on how much stuff you can really put through the self checkout in one trip, so if you've got an entire large trolley full you should probalby go to the regular one. Likewise if buying age restricted items. unbagged fresh fruit and vegies Can go through self checkout, but it's not really worth the extra hassle. And Potato chips just don't play nice with the machine at a particular supermarket, for reasons).

[@jayATUK]

I live in the UK, and ours work the same as the ones described by the person from New Zealand (not sure if saying "Kiwi" is fine or offensive 😅). We do have a bagging area, but it never says out loud what you've scanned. It only says "Please place the scanned item in bagging area" if you take too long after scanning - or if it didn't recognise that you've already put it there. Ours seem to struggle specifically with very lightweight items like cards, but sometimes they struggle with random items that someone needs to come over for, swipe their card, enter their code and that's it. I like them, as they vastly reduce the queuing time and is great for people with social anxiety like me ;)

[@Lucifronz]

On one hand, Walmart gets a lot of shoplifters, so I get the paranoia. On the other, either trust me to not steal everything or stop using machines to automate things when you still need people to do nearly everything anyway.

[@KattoTang]

None of the Walmarts I've ever been to have cameras on the actual self-checkout. Aldi does though...it's really bizarre. The solution to the majority of shoplifting is just having regular checkouts with actual cashiers. My local Five Below decided to replace all the regular checkouts with self-checkouts, and then decided recently to hire a security guard to stand up front and check receipts (but he also slinks around the store watching people), but also made it so a cashier has to ring up your items anyway, just now they have to uncomfortably stand directly beside you. It's really awkward and stupid.

[@museofthesea]

People will shoplift by brazenly walking out the door with their items or hiding them in bags. An astonishing number of ordinary folk are complete scum.

[@TessaBain]

​@@museoftheseawhich is actually why it's kind of pointless to be so paranoid about the self checkouts. The people who are going to steal probably aren't going to get anything checked out. They're going to fill a box up with meat and just leave. And no, this is not a hypothetical. There is a meat black market.

[@KattoTang]

@@museofthesea Except having self-checkout actively encourages shoplifting--whether it be purposeful or accidental. When you make it harder to do things the legitimate way while making the alternative way easier, more people are going to go for the latter. The fact of the matter is, people often do whatever is most convenient. The more inconvenient you make it to just buy something, the less likely they are to care about paying for it. We see this sort of thing with people who will re-buy games on different consoles because it's easier than pirating, but will pirate things with tons of DRM that prevents an easy transaction and/or play experience. Also, people aren't "complete scum" for shoplifting from places like Walmart.

[@Super-wx6br]

Walmart can live while losing a few hundred dollars (thats already insured anyway)

[@AdventuresAwait123]

Grocery store: you really suck at checking out. Me: THIS WAS YOUR IDEA

[@wrathofainz]

Me: **scans an item** Computer: **loudly proclaims the item name**

[@bryanf6638]

You forgot the prompt saying "We are unable to process your payment because you don't make enough money. SHAME! SHAAAME!"

[@alakani]

lmao that ending is legit how walmart has more of a theft problem that any other company, it's the company policies not the technologies

[@Objectified]

Most Walmart theft is people walking out the door in plain sight, or hiding things in their clothing and then going through checkout, neither of which are affected by self-checkout.

[@cameroncorrado3935]

I was really hoping the ending would be like "PLEASE TAKE YOUR ITEMS AND GO AWAY! NOW!! TAKE THEM FASTER!!!"

[@Komikino]

I like the off-sync code sound effects. LOL!

[@warrenwest6884]

"I m hideous and untrustworthy"😂

[@cross172]

“That’ll be $13.” “For what? What am I paying $13 for?” “For the privilege of shopping here!”

[@huliniswhoiam]

You kind of need more context to your comment lol Are you implying that tax is $13? Because if I spent $13 at the grocery store I mean I would be happy

[@cross172]

@@huliniswhoiamIt’s referring to Walmart requiring a new “Walmart Plus” subscription ($13 a month) in exchange for using self-checkout.

[@coena9377]

I absolutely love the toasting marshmallow tattoo!

[@Surfer669]

I always find it funny when the machine says: "weigh your bananas". Hehe

[@Kukaak]

One time at a self-checkout I bought several bags of rolls, but I wrote them as one item. When I placed two bags on the weight, it told me to remove the extra goods, and when I removed it, it told me to return the item. This went on for about a minute before a cashier overrode the machine because I sure as hell wasn't going to surrender to a self-checkout

[@JustSomeCanuck]

"Please place your HEMORRHOID CREAM in the bagging area." 🤣

[@privacyvalued4134]

This sounds like the next annoying "TikTok challenge." Find the most embarrassing items to purchase, go to the self-checkout lane, scan those items as it reads them out loud, act flustered/embarrassed at all of the public announcements, then suddenly notice the person holding the camera that is recording them making these embarrassing purchases, and just leave the store without the items and without having completed the transaction.

[@blackkitty420]

​@@privacyvalued4134 bro hush, don't give the internet ideas.

[@kakahass8845]

@@privacyvalued4134That would actually be pretty funny until everyone starts doing it and it becomes commonplace.

[@lasecte5416]

@@privacyvalued4134that's very specific

[@DanBorens]

X1PHIZER_HEMEROID_CREAM4INCURABLE_BUMA$$69.960

[@mattwo7]

1:37 As someone who likes to rhythmically do the final fantasy victory fanfare sometimes, this is a mood. I tried doing it at the pedestrian crossings that go beep here in LA but they always go beep-boop instead of just beep so I could never mange it.

[@looppooper2306]

I always love it when the self-check-whatyoucallit screams out loud that I don't have enough money on my card

[@Goabnb94]

"There is no world in which I can wrap my head around what just happened" Here's a staff barcode "I understand what just happened here today"

[@BlackMasterRoshi]

yeah its funny how being treated like a potential thief at stores i've been shopping at for over a decade make me suddenly ok with actually being one.

[@laurencefraser]

Honestly, given all the stories I've seen about such things? It's not so much that as that certain places just have a seroius shoplifting problem in general, and certain chains are Exceptionally good at making their customers hate them (and so get targeted a lot). admittedly 'being treated like a potential thief' doesn't help with the second one, but it's also sort of required when the first one applies.

[@castiolare]

You forgot the part where you're waiting for a self-checkout to open up (according to the assistant), and there's like four checkouts available but you haven't been told whether they're usable or not, or if they'll just yell at you

[@RobbieFitzgerald]

Where does this happen? Walmart has lights. If I see a green light with no one there, I go to it. Im not waiting for permission.

[@gizmo12055]

@@RobbieFitzgeraldwell sometimes at walmart the light isnt green, its either off or red but the checkout is on

[@RobbieFitzgerald]

@@gizmo12055 Yes Ive seen them on with no light. But my point still stands.

[@MaesterMike]

This was one of your best ads. I too get distracted by creepy aliens popping out of wormholes.

[@reverseflashplays8615]

I love how menacing bro looked at the back 😂

[@alexwolfeboy]

Same idea with piracy; when you actively make it harder to be a legit customer, theft/privacy against you is moral.

[@AlphScorpion190]

I swear it’s 100% like this anywhere with a self-checkout section

[@dietotaku]

the best part is their cameras and receipt-checking don't even catch most of the shoplifting, as long as you're not an idiot about it

[@Real_MisterSir]

Love that my local grocery stores just use a simple app-based system. Scan the goods with your own phone, click pay, provide on-phone receipt to scanner, scanner opens gate for u. Random bag checks ~1/10 checkouts. Shit just works.

[@Otek_Nr.3]

I'm going to be honest, I learned about how the US does their self checkout recently, and I'm baffled by how bad that is. Where I go shopping, you just scan your items, pay, and leave. There is a person sitting nearby, in case you need assistance, or want to buy cigarettes, but that's it. Or you can use an app or a handscanner, and scan your items while you are shopping. What's the point of self checkout, if it isn't convenient?

[@minuette1752]

@@Otek_Nr.3 It depends on the store to be honest. Some are horrible some are actually good and just light up if you need a swipe for alcohol.

[@honestr]

My home it's just scan pay and go. No illabarate camera systems. There is a guy there for assistance and do random checks. That's it.

[@AustrianCitizen]

0:38 this 😂😂

[@didjargo]

I think it would be funny to see a variation of this, but if the cashier acted like a vending machine. We have all encountered the various problems that come with those.

[@kavyareddy8711]

Self checkout is basically a silent lazy cashier who doesn't get paid

[@SmallSpoonBrigade]

Yes, but only if it randomly calls 911 on people for stealing things that may or may not have actually been paid for.

[@MikadoYuma]

Still better than a real person. My only additional complaint would be that almost none of them have enough room to bag a reasonable amount of groceries.

[@Zauchi]

@@MikadoYuma Self checkout was originally made for people with a few items to make things quicker for everyone.

[@willsutton3471]

​@@ZauchiThat's almost certainly true, but what is also certainly true in my experience is that I can't remember the least time I saw more than one human cashier on staff. So rather than wait behind 3-5 full carts, the big trip shoppers started clogging up self checkout. The issues all got to be too much when these companies stopped looking at self checkout as a supplement and started installing them as a replacement. They'll sell thousands of dollars of groceries per hour but only want to pay 3-4 people in that time and just make the customer contribute the labor so they don't have to pay for it anymore.

[@pavankumararra1818]

Ma daggara kuda self checkouts pedite shops musukovadame

[@HiSodiumContent]

Having customers do the work you used to pay someone for is super easy, barely an inconvenience.

[@SmallSpoonBrigade]

Except that I work at a grocery store and the self-checkout machines are nearly as much work as a proper checker is and there's a lot more aggravation that comes of it.

[@bradleyhiggs3824]

@@SimonWoodburyForget not sure what you mean but SmallSpoonBrigades point still stands, its MORE work than a proper checker, so its not working for anyone in that context. This is common as fuck with a lot of systems. The actual intention is likely to do with back room deals on who vends that automation.

[@BrianK-zz4fk]

then the machine asks for a tip 😂

[@psycthom]

That facial expression is exactly how i picture self checkout machines responding to not PUTTING YOUR BAG IN THE BAGGING AREA

[@TheSomeRocks]

the cut up shirt being a Walmart vest is great haha

[@combro7096]

You forgot the most important part! Being asked a half dozen times if you have a rewards card when the answer is still no

[@RobbieFitzgerald]

Or want one.

[@Frickenchies]

0:01:23 The way self-checkout Ryan stares ominously behind manager Ryan got me 🤣 This is exactly how my little brother would stare at me behind Mom if I did something mean to him and was being served a punishment sentence.

[@OuterEdgeOutpost]

I was about to say "This is why we deserve to shoplift" but you got it at the end.

[@Christopher-777]

Checking out in the ryanverse sounds super hard, truly an inconvenience!

[@MagnificentDeeProd]

The only thing missing is 2 seconds right after the receipt prints the machine says "PLEASE REMOVE ALL ITEMS FROM THE BAGGING AREA" like as if 2 seconds was a reasonable amount of time allotted 😂

[@SmallSpoonBrigade]

Yep, and it really annoys me how it asks me if I want to pay for a bag. Nobody wants to pay for a bag, people pay for a bag because it's required.

[@BlackMasterRoshi]

@@SmallSpoonBrigade i just say "0" bags and then use them anyway

[@calebmauer1751]

The Walmart self-checkouts are still way better than the Dollar General. Those ones shout at you loudly, so loudly. Like everyone in the store can hear you using one.

[@greentoby26]

A more accurate depiction of my experiences at self-checkout lanes would only be possible if the supervisor came back at the end and scolded you for breaking the machine.

[@csstrucking7046]

Well done sir!! One of your best

[@yearginclarke]

The self checkouts at my local preferred store ALWAYS say "unexpected item in bagging area" when you put a bag there. I use my own bags, so I guess they weigh more or something, and it messes things up? I don't know but it's SUPER annoying. And if you load the bagging area with too many items that weigh alot, (laundry detergent, gallons of milk, etc.) it always messes things up as well. Even if you move them around to balance the weight better, it goes into stupid mode and requires an employee. So now when using their self checkout I bag my stuff when I get back to the car, and I only use it if all my stuff combined doesn't weigh alot.

[@JeppeBeier]

Stimagz looks exactly like the Geomag I used to have as a kid, just painted black.

[@vernonmcphee6746]

Boy that was spot on. Very well done.

[@connorbeith3232]

This might be the best one yet, the angry stare from the clerk is just priceless!

[@tylertichoc7330]

As someone who works in a grocery store based on customer experience and just went to whole foods and had to see myself being recorded, I can safely say that despite it being an overall easy painless experience that one detail was still the most creepy corporate dystopian sh*t ever imaginable. What's worse is that store has been around forever and is easy to find parking and navigate so of course it's one of the stores being closed down so now the only one left in the area is in a traffic laid nightmare that's a third of the size, super confusing to navigate, in between all those high rise buildings and another one of those cruddy cramped parking garages and like less than half the stuff sold at the one always been within walking distance. So yeah, the least I did was be sure to thank the one employee who was there by the self checkout for being friendly and helping others out.

[@chrisperrien7055]

So you can't shoot guns , in your backyard , I gather.😎

[@JonathanHassingerChannel]

“Gonna start shop lifting.”😂😂😂

[@JudahBoersma-ox4dq]

“I’m gonna start shoplifting” is such a relatable line

[@debbiecharles7912]

So on point, hilarious and priceless 😄

[@moneymikz]

Self checkout is super difficult, quite the inconvenience…

[@SoniaSephia]

My Walmart recently added armed security guards that have pepper spray and guns. At their entrance and exit into the building and at self-checkout. 😮 I don't live in the greatest neighborhood but it was at that point I decided I'll just drive to the next Walmart 5 or 6 mi away from my home. And the difference was very clear. No armed security guards just parking security guards. And some lost prevention employees inside.

[@DarthJF]

"Let's invest ton of money on self-chekcouts and hire an armed security guard to stand there so that we don't have to hire minimum wage cashier"

[@juzoli]

It sounds like you shouldn’t just shop elsewhere but live elsewhere.

[@pal5683]

I'm 57. I have shopped.at Walmart since I was young. I have never seen a security guard at a Walmart, inside or out. Never. Cops a few times, no guards. Maybe you should move.

[@shinebear7932]

i mean 12 self check outs work faster with 2 guards and 1 attendant than 3 or 4 shitty cashiers... @@DarthJF

[@rainydaygaming5507]

Walmart is definitely the hardest store to shoplift from. Everyone I know who has gotten caught got caught at Walmart.

[@vandal280]

What an awesome sponsor, I can finally stop stimming with my hair ties like I've been doing for 30 years. Definitely backing!

[@Suejamin]

Ohmagawd. This sketch is so accurate, it makes my spine itch. Also Stimagz are an awesome fidget toy. I’m already backing series 2 and am really excited.

[@JBatGaming2]

Would you be interested in doing a video on the first guy to declare war

[@raconbacon5649]

Thats a good idea, i can imagine the jokes he would make with that

[@RetroCheats]

I approve, especially if we can get a whole army of Ryans!

[@jordansweet8054]

A sequel to the first guy to be king.

[@mattsully2238]

I've decided I want your front yard as my front yard

[@projekttaku1]

@@mattsully2238 well no because I decided it was my front yard.

[@JoeyGBean]

1:44 they both got the same tattoo in the same spot! they must be besties

[@osheridan]

Historians be like

[@justinklenk]

This was a particularly necessary one. 👍

[@Room1_217_1]

Man, from the hemorrhoid's pov, this could be really embarrassing. "Why am I being singled out?? I'm just trying to live my life!"