Why INFJs Have So Much Anxiety and Depression

[@LaurenSapalaINFJ]

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[@RowanWhiteBirch]

When I was young, probably 5 years old or so, I remember believing, truly and with all my heart, that I was put here to help save the world. Not in the superhero sense, but in a real, substantial sense. Now, at 50 years old, I've become cynical that my entire life feels wasted. I still have the NEED to fulfill what I think of as my life's duty, my purpose and I don't know how. This is the first time I've heard these thoughts expressed by someone who made perfect sense to the core of my being. Thank you so very much. I don't feel now as if my 5 year old self was too naïve for the world, but the world just doesn't know how much change and what could be accomplished by coming together as one. Your words were much needed for my heart to hear. Thank you again.

[@wakeupalready]

I could have written this exact paragraph. Thanks for sharing!

[@Coneman3]

I felt the urge to do something good in my teens, to bring change in the world in my 20s but am only moving close to some major goals now in my early 50s. Many years I was just drifting/asleep.

[@claytonia1586]

I feel exactly the same. ❤

[@benp4877]

Yep. I’m a decade behind you, but I feel the same. Thanks for putting it into words.

[@GraceRay-b9m]

I think one person can not really change the world. But if there are enough of us working towards the same goal, we have the power to make substantial changes in the world. What we are enjoying today, our voting rights, and freedom of speech do not just happen. People before us had fought for it. We can do the same, not just changing the world for ourselves but for future generations. That is meaningful enough for anyone's life purpose.

[@catwithhumanhand4880]

"You are not alone, you just an infj" 😭😭😭😭

[@ScottieBeanZ]

To my Fellow INFJ’s - I love you all to the moon and back 🙂🚀

[@spiritwanderer777]

which moon? now we have two 😅

[@Coneman3]

We have to understand people vary a lot. Don’t expect most others to be like you, or understand you, cos they won’t.

[@JJBushfan]

On becoming habituated to anxiety: A few years ago I was sitting in front of my computer when something unfamiliar swept over me. I stopped what I was doing in order to try to identify this odd phenomenon. It didn't take long. I soon realised that I felt relaxed, and hadn't felt that way for so long that I'd forgotten what it was like. It lasted about three minutes and hasn't happened since. (And it gave me my blog post for that day.)

[@matilda4406]

"or if you live in a chaotic household" lol. How about growing up in a household of ten with literally no private space, NONE.

[@Eve29x]

Ugh my anxiety levels ↗️, I’ve been through this before and it has made me go crazy I hope you will find a peaceful place where you can take a rest from this world without being distracted and overwhelmed by others emotions and energies 🤍

[@666millsy13]

I'm over 60 and still don't know what my purpose is in life, and is true, there aren't too many people they think the way I do. I go from frustration to apathy.i have learned to either suppress or cope with anxiety. I've never considered myself as depressed, but I know I probably do suffer from bouts. And I know I'm used to hiding a lot from the world. I am a lot more confident in trying to explain the big picture, but i do get frustrated when people can't understand the obvious (to me)

[@djbond6241]

Yes, ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION SEEMS VERY NORMAL

[@KillaniTruth]

At this point I’m just getting a remote job. I can’t keep putting myself through the torture of absorbing everyone’s energy at work. Too many different personalities and too many emotions and frustration from people. Plus they talk bad about each behind backs and gossiping. I just can’t do it anymore

[@sharonfuszard8861]

I would venture to say that many INFP's can relate to much of what you are saying in this video- which is interesting!

[@Taurusboy07]

Wow. This is so true. This is exactly why I feel anxious all the time and even very dark and depressed.

[@sanjayaufdermauer7884]

Damn, I truly felt that video.... it kinda' scared me how accurate you are.

[@ShizuruNakatsu]

8:15 We really did come here from somewhere else! I've always known it, always had a very real connection with UFOs, and I recently had a past life regression (through QHHT) where I recalled a life on another planet before coming here. This is actually my first life on Earth, so this planet is very foreign to me.

[@StevenPJames-fl1un]

Career musician here. I often experience anxiety relating to my musical studies thanks to sensitivity. As both a performer with many ideas and powerful emotions to communicate, and a composer with a great deal of musical content stored up in my head, I often feel as though I don't fit in any sort of box at my university, even at the graduate level. As I've said half-jokingly, I am too much of a composer for pianists, and too much of a pianist for composers; but in my mind it is all connected to that personal search for self-realization, expression, and communication of a universal story with any audience who is willing to listen. I'm sure it is sometimes baffling to my professors how I can simultaneously have so much to say and, occassionally, be so poor at communicating it clearly at the same time (thanks inferior Se). I have not yet decided if I am an INFJ or an INFP, since I have the Ni and Fe of an INFJ (and a well-developed Se from years of performing as a soloist), but also the overflowing passion and expansive expressionism of an INFP or ENFP--I am an infinite well of emotion, but when it's misunderstood or bottled up I become very depressed, even suicidal. Criticism is immensely hard for me to take, since probably 80 percent of it stems from people misunderstanding my goals, intent, and rationale; the remaining 20 percent that pertains to the clarity of execution is always welcome.

[@Coneman3]

As INFJs we stand at a crossroads in psychology. This is partly what makes us complex, contradictory and have rare talents. There is a natural balance. You get either normal psychology and normal talent, or great talent and difficult psychology. That’s how it often works, maybe not always. Paul McCartney seems well adjusted.

[@Coneman3]

INFP seek to change individuals, INFJ seek to change society. Your sensitivity to criticism is possibly due to lack of Fi. Fi doms know what they like, hence their exterior is often cool. INFJ with Fe are more friendly and warm on the outside but feel dead inside.

[@tomwilliams6744]

First of all, I have to say that I loved this video. It was all nicely explained listening through the whole duration; and it didn't have the "bells & whistles" like other KZbin videos about INFJ's. I have depression and anxiety a lot. The part about "the worst case scenarios" is so true with me. Fortunately, at least 99% of bad situations in my mind don't happen. Right now I'm feeling down and critical about my life and self. Two years ago I left my workplace in disgust and retired. After leaving my work, I feel like I'm in the wrong place at where I live. It's costly and I'm not fond of my neighbors. I'm too sensitive with noise, some drama, and don't fit in well. I'm thinking it's all because of me that things are not working out well. I want to move from where I live to another place that's less costly. I have fears about making that move; a fear that I'm going to go "from the frying pan to the fire". I don't make friends easily because I'm critical of other people (from the inside) and others don't seem to like me. I try to be nice but it doesn't work. I'm all alone and that's what makes it hard for me.

[@Coneman3]

Few would cope in our shoes, yet ironically they often look down at us.

[@divinaluz7]

Just do it .I am INFJ and I have moved many times. One of our strengths is adaptability, and we can't thrive in chaotic environments, as the lady says in the video. I moved from a very desirable (on the outside) property in a sought after location because it was exremely unfriendly there, and I was profoundly miserable. It seemed like everyon bar a few had angry energy. I lived there for a decade and a lot of folks (none of whom lived there, but it looked good on paper 😁) said I was mad to give it up. I now live in a cosy little apartment which is all mine, in a less salubrious area in a (so called) dead end town but my neighbours and local shops are friendly, I am comfortable here, and I am happier than I have been in years. I intend to stay as long as I'm able. If you don't take the plunge, you could miss out on a better future ;) Also, apart from the above mentioned nay-sayers, my actual friends and family knew exactly why I did what I did, and were very supportive, some saying my decision spurred them on to making changes in their own lives. Strangers I met along the way (my move went through a few stages, including wild camping in SW France for a month) also found my story interesting and I met a few like minded souls....but I digress. Honestly, at the very least try to live somewhere you feel comfortable and you will be able to deal with the bs life throws at you; you need a sanctuary. Xx

[@janetleeadams7287]

I was a new teacher at a university, and my desk was directly opposite the director, touching, face to face, and she was always on the phone talking in a loud voice. I could tolerate this for about two days then had to take my paperwork to the much quieter library. The director was offended, but I couldn't help it.

[@lisavoorhees8663]

This is so much of what I need to hear...!!! It is literally a breath of fresh air.

[@mariannami8049]

Cannot agree more!!! Thank you ❤❤❤

[@crookedprojects]

i'm just so tired, i'm not an infj who accept myself the way i am and not doing anything about it. i've tried changing and putting myself out there, pressuring myself but somehow i can't never get it right. i ended up more burnt out and feel betrayed because my efforts were all in vain. i'm not hiding under the label of infj to protect and defend myself but really, i feel like infjs have to take much more effort just to live, whether they like it or not. most of the time i feel like an alien who's learning how to be a human, how to be NORMAL.

[@Benjaminsmallwood]

Right attitude...love who you are...don't " fix " anything!!! There IS a life after this one!!!

[@ScottishScot]

Thank you very much for this Lauren 🙏

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

I am not alone I am just INFJ.

[@jp_onyoutube]

I feel less alone now.

[@jennifercatherinekarel8925]

After realizing what you share, I feel I won't ever be depressed again. I feel empowered. ThankYou

[@JuandelaCruz001]

Oh my Gosh........ THIS RIGHT HERE. After 48 years of struggle, and dozens and dozens of INFJ videos, THIS is actually the most spot on.

[@cynthiajohnson9412]

Anyone else feel like they belong here, and it's everyone else who are the aliens? Or is that just me?

[@timwhitmore7]

John 17:16 “They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.”

[@KillaniTruth]

Oh God that’s such an Infj thing to say 😂. I’m with you! I think we are different from everyone else on a deep level but we are constantly trying to figure what that is and simply put I think we are here to elevate the vibration of the earth. So maybe we are the aliens? It seems everyone else is caught by the mundane except us INFJs

[@davidcook680]

God I have alot of anxiety and not so much depression. It feels different to me. Like emptiness and sadness. I am confused about life. Sometimes at work. I think about things. I almost cry. I have to fight back tears. I like to imagine I with people who understand me. I open to them. I cry to finally to be accepted. Yesterday I was embraced by people who understood me. I made up this moment in my life in my head. I will watch people at work. Watch them talk to people. Wonder if it would be okay. If I said something to them. Would they talk to me. If they did would they like me. I'm afraid if I do talk to them. I would say something wrong. They wouldnt like. So I don't talk to people. I'm afraid I will say something wrong.

[@TheAleksandros]

same here. Anxiety devours me alive. So much overthinking. can't stop this madness

[@gabrielmontenegro-ny3ng]

Some infjs tend to have severe depression and sometimes I don't understand what's going on inside them.

[@nizham12345]

Thank you Lauren

[@michelgreycoaching]

THE G.O.A.T. !!!!!!

[@rachaelsummers7686]

Thank you, this was so helpful ❤

[@bryball111]

Excellent insight. This describes me a lot. Thank you! 😊

[@MrDcrules]

I wonder if INFJs should try to be in relationships with people that have similar personality types. I can see where INFJs (i'm one) could have challenges in the long run wiith a different personality type. Thoughts? Wonderful videos Lauren. You are spot on. thank you.

[@KillaniTruth]

Im in a relationship with INTJ/INTP and it’s wonderful. He is such a good listener and truly cares about my emotions and thoughts. He understands im sensitive and overthink. He understands that I love to give love and care for people and just want peace in my life. I would say you need a partner that is not too emotional and a bit more on the logical side but not too much. You don’t want a partner drowning you with their feelings but you also want someone to understand your thoughts and feelings. Another INFJ would be good as well.

[@Kara-x3h]

Nothing wrong with an infj it’s great I find being an infj is peaceful. I don’t hide myself I’m just choosey who I show all of myself too 👌

[@genio6820]

Why? …Why.?…Why?.. It’s me? To have that weird personality? What I have done wrong?

[@Benjaminsmallwood]

Infj here...60 years old...abandoned at birth,....I have had an incredible life. What an experience....come to the conclusion that my purpose is to EXPERIENCE!! I assisted a woman ( 6 years) in getting free from dissociative disorder, as well as a demonic entity,and immediately she cried out " we are Gods kaleidoscope " . In other words,God who is spirit delights in experiencing creation through us. In material creation. Soooo....life is to be lived and experienced FULLY! What an amazing place.....and after this,on to the next life!!!

[@Old52Guy]

Thank you. Definitely needed.

[@bcrwarlock1974]

So excited for this course!

[@sspbrazil]

Boy this really resonates.

[@sweetanila26]

This is very accurate for me.

[@Tracker5111]

Please note that caffeine contributes to anxiety. Also, a side effect of histamine intolerance is anxiety too. As an infj I have to monitor these two. I don't need any more stress

[@timwhitmore7]

Thanks for the reminder. Have been off caffeine for a couple of weeks and have been tempted to go back.

[@h.j7469]

Oh my god, a lot of these things I can relate.

[@fazzaustralia8932]

Thank you!

[@joshuabreunig3330]

i realy am a Mutant. i am allergic to Morphine, and i know what it felt like to walk and talk monotone from being learning disabled.

[@SpringDay-gl7ie]

Omg - you understand me!

[@PeinUchiha100]

This is so much me

[@warrenmoon7709]

Me

[@kathyann9643]

Most of this is true for INFP's too.

[@naamanpratt]

💫

[@chahuncoller]

I suggest you a video. Watch this video to get rid of psychiatric illness. Your meaning and emotions will reach their natural state without any artificial influence. The name of the video is "THE ONLY WAY OUT OF DEPRESSION Anxiety, bipolar, obsession, apathy, panic attack treatment".

[@Aldo-Hugo]

You shouldn’t misinform your audience.

[@mikaelangeloh2316]

About?

[@_Paul_N]

Everyone else disagrees lol

[@innerpeacerevolution]

I feel so understood. Thank you for this excellent content. 🫶🏼