Someone Sent My Fiance An Old Video Of Me & Now He's Staying At A Friend's Place r/Relationships

[@trout512]

...Love that everyone in story 1 forgets that sending videos like that is a genuine, serious crime. With serious real world consequences. I wouldn't rest until someone got in major trouble over it. The fact that the ex was so quick to destroy evidence leads me to think he knows who sent it, and doesn't want them to get in trouble.

[@marahbaker8615]

I genuinely think the fiance is being a child. Like honestly dude sounds like he would've thrown a sissy fit if she'd told him about it up front. Dude needs to grow up. Like who tf sits down a potential partner and lists every single sexual encounter? That would would weird me out. All I need to know is if you've had sex and have been tested recently and that's it

[@kp2223]

Not all places consider revenge porn a crime. Also it really depends on how this Person obtained the video. If it was on a porn site and they just shared a downloaded copy that's just providing public information. If they themselves recorded the video and received consent from the o p to record it And sure as they see fit it's kind of a sticky issue as it's not mass distribution.

[@MizMorgue1]

THIS!! Omg, YES!! I can't believe no one mentioned this! So many ppl saying OP should spill all her business just because she's his 1st, but he's not hers is ridiculous! Bf is emotionally immature and needs to check his judgey ego.

[@thomasprogli3372]

If somebody sends you information that your wife is cheating and they got that info illegally, would you care? I would not. I would be thankful that that person saved me. This guy is thankful that his children do not have a mother who did gang-bangs.

[@jamescalder997]

@@MizMorgue1 Or maybe they just weren't a good match, she acknowledged herself she was his first relationship, so he probably doesn't have a lot of experience. Don't get me wrong, that video should have remained private and the sender should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, but however it was done, the bell was rung and cannot be un-rung, it was more than he could handle and that's not his fault.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 2 - I absolutely lost it when OP informed everyone in the update that her daughter is married to her FIRST COUSIN. That alone says everything about what’s wrong with the daughter.

[@johnbradbury8610]

you've got to swim outside the shallow end of the gene pool

[@hilaryc3203]

As distasteful as that may be, it's perfectly legal in most countries.

[@johnbradbury8610]

I think the story is fake. I doubt a millionaire traveling the world would be on reddit. I think the cousin part just added some shock

[@hilaryc3203]

@@johnbradbury8610 Possibly, but she's alone and had to cut everyone off in her life and needed to reach out. She is not living like royalty, and lower 7 figures in her currency could mean just comfortable and without worry. Travelling doesn't have to be expensive either. Throughout Europe there are a lot of very nice options that are not top dollar.

[@catsncrows]

@@johnbradbury8610 Umm and here is where I'm glad that as chaotic as it was I'd travelled a fairly large part of the planet before I graduated high school.

[@DaBaseBallZ]

Story 2:Regret nothing,OP You lost your daughter the moment she started her BS. But Ew. That's my only reaction to who daughter's husband is

[@lynnw7155]

OP; travel and spend every cent of that money.

[@dscheaffer]

S1 - Best advice, don’t engage in gangbangs and if you do, don’t allow them to be video taped. At this point, all OP can’t do is hope for the best and plan for the worst.

[@WadeAlma]

She was paid to do it too.

[@ashassassin]

Story 2 sounds like daughter got into some hard drugs. The estrangement and sudden behavior changes, even escalating to violence. Add on bad decisions like marrying your cousin. Thats drugs.

[@abbyredrose128]

Yup and if she does give them a bunch of money they will over dose with it.

[@MrJpaynebb]

It maybe hard drugs. It's also possible she knows the inheritance laws but that if OP had signed over those assets while alive the daughter could bypass those inheritance laws.

[@hanoh2904]

She needs to find out who sent it. It'll follow her in every relationship,Why do people need to film thier sexual adventures? They never ever go away

[@rubymeaddle]

You do realize she was like 18-19 when it was filmed and likely coerced right?

[@789blackops]

@@rubymeaddlewhy does age matter when she’s a grown adult

[@estepp79]

May be impossible to find out who sent it. If it ever got uploaded to a porn site like porn hub, then doing a Google search, the video could show up. Once something like that is recorded and uploaded online, there is no way to fully ever erase it.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@789blackops It doesn't and the fact of the matter is she gave us very few details about the video. It probably can't even be labeled as revenge porn and that is why the cops didn't pursue the matter very much. The specifics of how, when, why, with whom, etc of the video are very important and sadly, this will probably become an issue if the person who has it is vindictive, for the rest of her life possibly messing up future relationships and even sent to employers. I would imagine the OP kept the specifics of the video from us as they may not have put her in a very good light. We don't know when this video was taken but it was sometime between 4-6 years ago. Anywhere from the time she turned 18 until one day before she started dating her boyfriend of the last 4 years. So, in honesty, this is a fairly "fresh" video and I'm sorry, but for most guys, having your woman getting railed by 3 other dudes is a deal-breaker, especially if it wasn't that long ago or at the very least, not very long before you started dating them. It's just a fact, like it or not.

[@mikelee990]

Story 1: The internet, like Pepperidge Farms, remembers.

[@BruinPhD2009]

And now, with AI, the Internet can make up things to remember. Sigh…

[@johnbradbury8610]

considering she slept with 3 at one time, I doubt she only slept with 8. This doesn't make her a bad person, but the past matters. the fact that she made a sex tape with three guys would turn a lot of men off, especially a more traditional guy. NAH, but OP should be upfront with the next guy because it will matter.

[@amyjames7760]

Revenge porn is illegal in many states. If yours doesn't call your reps!

[@lynnw7155]

Wow; you shouldn't have to disclose everything, but a video??? That was bound to surface. Better to tell him rather than have him smacked in the face with it. Yeah; it changed his image of her.

[@jimdob6528]

@@lynnw7155bull. Disclose everything and come clean. Communication and trust are a big deal.

[@rubymeaddle]

Sending that video wasn't "a dick move", it was a literal crime

[@bhart3321]

Not if it was for a website. If was 🌽 then she knew what it was & was paid. Which it sounds like it was.

[@wkkowrld]

​@@bhart3321 if this is the case, why would she pursue legal action? You're straight up lying in these comments lmao

[@DoctorJaneDoe]

@@bhart3321victim blaming ?

[@mynameismin3]

It saved they guy from marrying a gang bang girl. Who wants to marry that?

[@bhart3321]

@@wkkowrld She only said that at the very end probably due to others comments, it's cope. Throughout the entire story & how cagey she was when asked about details it was very clearly consensual & sounded to very much "professional" which means she consented to its distribution that's not revenge porn then. Does this suck for her, absolutely. Is she ashamed NOW, absolutely but that's most girls who make 🌽. It sucks but actions have consequences. She needs to be transparent with all her future partners about it, eventually she'll find someone ok with it & if this happen again he won't be shocked by it.

[@tiggertail779]

Just goes to show you that, IT DOESNT JUST HAPPEN IN ALABAMA!

[@poetryqn]

Story 1:I doubt there's a hard and fast rule about when and how to disclose your sexual past, but the fact that she's aware she was his first girlfriend might have alerted her to at least bring up the subject and ask if he needed/wanted to discuss the differences in their experiences when they first decided to become exclusive. That's usually when these things come up.

[@DrewLSsix]

How much does his personal experience play into his issue here? His past is his responsibility and if he somehow feels inadequate compared to her adventures thats truly his problem. And life is only going to be difficult for him as long as he thinks that way. The idea that her past becomes more acceptable if he managed to get his dick wet more than zero times is a pathetic perspective. Shes better off without him.

[@MizMorgue1]

That's fair. But, on the flip side, OP isn't a mind reader, and shouldn't be expected to coddle a grown man, just because she is his 1st gf. If OP were my friend, I would've told her to not get serious with him in the 1st place. I've been there. I dated a couple guys, where I was the "first gf", and these guys' suspicions, and sexual egos were off the charts pathetic in their emotional intellect and behavior, just because I had partners before them.

[@MrBrachiatingApe]

@@MizMorgue1 You don't actually sound like you like your exes.

[@thomasprogli3372]

It is such a poor excuse not to disclose something this important just because he did not ask. Well it is a fact that many men do not want a woman who did this kind of acts as the mother of their children. Especially since she knew there was evidence. Imagine this has surfaced when the kids were 10.

[@nationalsocialism3504]

​@@MizMorgue1ok woman... men are allowed to be disgusted by women who do disgusting behavior

[@sasoridanna9250]

I'm kinda skeptical about the first OP's identity because of some of the language they use, it sort of sounds like the ex trying to justify their actions after realizing that revenge porn is a crime. Bear in mind, the situation is entirely plausible, but the wording just really feels off.

[@rubymeaddle]

Unfortunately it's not a crime in every state 😮‍💨

[@CurliFox]

I think its because this is a curated video. The poster seemed real to me on Reddit 🤷‍♂️

[@sasoridanna9250]

@@rubymeaddle It absolutely should be at this point tbh

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@sasoridanna9250 There is no proof this was revenge porn. If this was a video made and submitted to a money-making website, then it is out there in the public domain, so to speak. She is very short on details about this video. If it was a private video, then perhaps it could be called revenge porn but since she didn't say she was dating any of the men and she doesn't provide more details or specifics regarding anything about the video, such as the situation regarding how it was made, when it was made, where it was made, why it was made, etc. it is hard to classify it. That is probably why the cops didn't put much effort into it. It's one thing if the video was just two people but there were 4 of them involved in the actual video and who knows how many others might have been involved with creating it aka the crew. I feel bad for her but we all have to bear the consequences of our actions no matter how bad or foolish they were. The thing is, this video will probably continue to "pop up" in her future life with other relationships and possibly even employers. Ugh.

[@poohbear4515]

S2: NTA. Something must’ve happened after she got married if she was a nice person, but she lost all sympathy when she attacked her own mother when she didn’t get her way. She aint a daughter anymore, and OP shouldve called the police right after. At least the neighbors were there to throw those two out. She, and her flying pigs, can go straight to hell along with those that follow her. I hope OP lives a good life. Also…she married OP’s brother’s son…her maternal cousin……….yeah that’s just wrong…

[@mimi.dixon.b]

Story 1- if your partners sexual history matters enough to you that it will impact your relationship, ask about it up front. I’ve always been open about how many people ive been with to prospective partners- I’d be super pissed if down the road they about faced and decided they weren’t ok with it not because they didn’t know, but because they were coping by just ‘not thinking about it’ then being confronted by it in such a way. Horrifying that someone would send something private like that with malicious intent, and the partner at that point should be wondering why someone in their life is trying to break them up, not having new concerns about being less experienced than the partner.

[@thomasprogli3372]

I just do not think that many men want a woman who did gang-bangs to be the mother of their children. Women need to understand that men have different values and stop shaming men for their standards.

[@aamp84]

He did ask, she didn’t disclose.

[@gidneybeans]

I really don't really feel that sorry for her. If she voluntarily put herself in a sexual situation that was recorded, that was a poor decision on her part.

[@rubymeaddle]

​@@gidneybeans as a teenager. Y'all are forgetting how young she was.

[@aamp84]

@@rubymeaddle I was a teenager, never would’ve done some stupid shit like that.

[@ohnooffwego]

If you can't talk to your partner about your past you probably shouldn't be getting married.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Yes, getting railed by 3 dudes at once is pretty much a deal-breaker for most men. These are the kind of girls guys date to have fun with and then when they are done, they throw them back to the streets for the next dude to play with. They are not long-term or marriage material. There are a lot of holes in this story. Was the video a personal video or was it one they posted to amateur P*rn sites for money??? If it was a money maker then it really is out of her hands. It would take literally thousands of dollars to have a company "scrub" her videos from the internet and there is no real guarantee it won't show up again in the future. I can see why she didn't want to disclose this to the guy and was hoping that it would never show up or at least until they were happily married for several years with kids and maybe he would let it go. It's not like this video was 10 or more years ago, it has to have been only 4-6 years ago since they started dating when she was 20 so the video had to have been from when she was 18, 19, or 20. This means the video happened anytime from the day before she started dating him back until she was 18. It is sad that she didn't realize at the time how badly this could and would wreck her life. I doubt she has seen the last of this video as it was probably someone she knows who sent it and they can and probably will do it again in the future with other relationships she will have and possibly even her employers. Ugh.

[@jonathanheffernan9186]

Op needs to go to the police. They can check the video and also sending that video may be illegal.

[@Joetorres3]

"you shouldnt be punished for decisions you make in your past"? Thats exactly how co consequences work.

[@sharonramirez8014]

Ummmm...... its only a consequence if the action had something to do with the person imposing the negative consequence otherwise its just punishment

[@blackmesa232323]

​@@sharonramirez8014So if I cheat on a partner that shouldn't count against me in the next relationship?

[@kp2223]

​@@sharonramirez8014While I understand what you're saying, it's not accurate as there are so many caveats to that statement.

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@blackmesa232323 No that only applies to OP. LOL

[@hunter5425]

Story 1, why the hell do people take videos of NSFW activities, Don't people realize the crap like that never goes away.

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

For the same reason young people do other stupid things.

[@HeliosX28]

​@@AngryReptileKeeper Because they're stupid 😂

[@aduckofsomesort]

Because porn is a completely normal thing?

[@HeliosX28]

@@aduckofsomesort it's not lol

[@Masenken]

​@@HeliosX28porn being a multi-billion dollar industry wholly disagrees with you.

[@benbraden9133]

Story 1 - I agree with that last comment. As a guy that really does want to respect every partner I get into a relationship with, seeing a video like that would make it really hard for me to get past. Getting sent nudes that were obviously not taken for me, comments about the activities and quality of past sexual relationships; these things all get to me. Even though I know that I have enough stories like that myself and that history is inevitable, it’s still hard as a man to think about and thus I avoid being put in those situations. She was the victim of a crime, and he SHOULD have been supportive. But even though I know I would be in his place, in my head I would be as shaken up by it as him.

[@cheesedemon88]

It's sad that sexual experience, makes so many men lose respect for women.

[@benbraden9133]

@@cheesedemon88 for me at least I don’t lose respect for them, it makes me confront my own insecurities in the sense that their sexual desire for other people is suddenly in my face. In the case of a gangbang, I’d always think to myself ‘how could sex with me ever compete with that kind of experience now that I know it’s something she desires’. Which I’m upfront about being an unhealthy but gut reaction to work through each time.

[@wimsylogic65]

​@@cheesedemon88 That's a very superficial way of looking at it. I Am a woman. wouldn't want to be with a man Who has a very liberal sexual past. I wouldn't want to be with anybody Who engaged in hook up culture. I have nothing against them as people. But they're not anyone I'd want to be in a relationship with. And there is nothing wrong with that for anybody.

[@cheesedemon88]

@@wimsylogic65 that’s fine, the user I replied to literally said that he’d have a hard time respecting a potential partner with such a sexual past.

[@N..P..]

​@@cheesedemon88There's a difference between sexual experience, and filming yourself having sex with 3 guys at once. Nobody, male or female, should feel comfortable with that choice. Most people who do those things aren't healthy to be around and keep even worse company.

[@RockPileHardAf]

As much of a victim as op is, I don't think her ex "fell" for anything. He just saw something from her past he couldn't agree to forget. Shit sucks 🤷‍♂️

[@blakedunn4256]

Yeah, I mean nobody wants to see 3 dudes run a train on his future wife. Like, oh sick, my future wife loves to get fucked nonstop and has such little self respect that she allowed that

[@johnbradbury8610]

yeah, he has every right to want to leave. This doesn't make Op a bad person, but she is naive for believing it shouldn't matter. Making a tape with three guys is extreme. A traditional guy is not going to be okay with that.

[@Edon613]

She isn't a victim. She consented to being filmed in a gangbang, she no longer had any expectation of privacy. Which is also the reason the investigation didn't go anywhere.

[@shaktimishra9710]

As women want Husband with Great future man want women with clear past

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

@@shaktimishra9710 HIs ass had better have a clear past, too. No man has any business demanding things he can't/won't even pony up himself. And the time to ask about your partner's sexual history is _before_ you get into a relationship with them. Not once you're up to your eyeballs in a shared life together.

[@twiggygrl84]

Not the same thing as op #1 but I started off my current relationship with a very clear outline of sexual expectations. Needs, kinks, outline of acceptable behaviors, etc. We have rules, we have clear communication without fear of judgement. We create adult content and have since the start. We will be married for 8 years very soon. Being honest with your past, present and desire for the future*should* be spelled out very early in any relationship or it'll be a constant cloud looking over your heads

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Getting railed by 3 dudes at once is pretty much a deal-breaker for most guys. The fact it happened not that long ago or at the very least, not very long before they started dating is even worse. This video happened 4-6 years ago. She was very short on details about the video and I suppose that was because those details might not put her in a very good light. It's sad, but I doubt this will be the only time this video comes up. Depending on whoever has it, it could wreck several future relationships as well as possible jobs if it is sent to employers. Ugh.

[@twiggygrl84]

@@thomasjoseph5876 and that's why being forthcoming with that sort of thing should happen early. Give everyone an opportunity to decide what theyre comfy with.

[@Pikaman20008]

Story 1: I mean actually doing it is one thing but having it filmed? If you ever have sex filmed that’s something you gotta disclose to future partners, lest they find out the hard way.

[@howdelydoo]

Sexual history is important. You have got to bring that shit up. Yes it may make the relationship end but that just means you will eventually find someone who dgaf

[@lalvarez5151]

Story 1-YTA. You should really tell your partner upfront when you do something out of the norm. Being on a tag team 3 vs 1 is a giant deal breaker for some. Specially with a guy with his first gf. She should have told him upfront. Before I got married we both told each other about our pasts and we went from there. The Op messed up by not being upfront.

[@sovereigncrux]

Story 1: *On Markee saying people don't tell their partners about previous 'sexual exploits (he said gang bang)' they have been in to be upfront*. You're wrong, some of us are open with our partners. Before I was ever intimate with my current partner, we took a long time getting to know one another and building friendship and familiarity first. It's not that I feared he would find out some other way about some things I have done, that wouldn't be possible, but it was because I wanted him to know me. Who I used to be is part of how I became who I am today, and I am transparent about who I am with him. Oh, we've been together fifteen years now, so apparently my method works. I highly suggest others be as open with the people they may want to spend part of their life with. Knowing you have their support and acceptance now rather than worrying about what they may find out later and leave you over is sooo much better.

[@MrBrachiatingApe]

I completely agree. One needs to make sure one is sexually compatible with one's partner. That includes sexual morality. I've been frankly disappointed with people in these comments for scorning the boyfriend so much, especially people saying he's insecure, an idiot, etc., People cannot control how a shock will affect their emotions, and to think that they can dictate how a person should _want_ to respond to a shock is pure hubris. Especially over something so personal and so primal as sexuality. Especially in persons of the opposite sex. It seems like an increasing proportion of younger women truly do not understand what or how men think about sex, and even more, do not care to understand. Yet some of these same women also demand men simply conform to what these young women feel men should do and be. Makes me wonder if an increasing number of young men are similarly ignorant and arrogant, though from what I've read, the reaction has an almost opposite vector. Young men in large numbers totally dropping out of the pursuit of sex, love, relationships, marriage, children... and a tiny minority loudly making themselves (apparently subordinate) while a tiny minority pursue extreme promiscuity and romantic detachment. Dire consequences regardless.

[@CurliFox]

​@@MrBrachiatingApeI agree 100% The reality is, the majority of men do not want a woman who has had a train ran on her. That is not "insecurity." I feel as though alot of young women have been raised in a "You Go Girl!" echo chamber. Then, they later become upset, because the morals of their friend circle, and the general public are at odds.

[@bhart3321]

LOUDER FOR THE FOLKS IN THE NOSE BLEEDS! Yes girl preach.

[@wimsylogic65]

​@@MrBrachiatingApe 100% agree.

[@colleens1107]

Story one: OP will have to tell every future partner about her past IMMEDIATELY or this will happen again. There is someone out there actively trying to sabotage OPs life so until she finds out WHO and gets the fuckhead arrested, she gon need to preempt that shit

[@alexnightray3204]

I am wondering though, since OP accepted money for and consented to make this video, that this would be public domain. So assuming that this is public domain and many people have seen this, would this count as revenge porn?

[@ccsorn]

S1: It is unfortunate for OP that she very will likely have to disclose more detail of her sexual history than the average person. Not on date one, obviously, but definitely at the point of monogamy with any future partner. If it will break up a relationship, it is best she knows before wasting any more time.

[@anthonygilmour6236]

At least if she brings it up first it shows a far higher level of accountability. But if you trickle truth a conversation like this the relationship is DOA.

[@MsMookalate]

Revenge p•rn is illegal.

[@TheRockinDonkey]

Some dudes aren’t going to care, but it’s best to weed out the ones that do care early on. If her idiot bf hadn’t just deleted the video they might have been able to track down the person that sent it.

[@anthonygilmour6236]

@@MsMookalate what if it was a legitimate amateur 🌽 scene... would that also could as revenge 🌽?

[@ccsorn]

@MsMookalate That is true. That did not stop the break-up, though.

[@datmanydocris]

Story 1: "I didn't think it was a big deal", "I didn't think we really had any problems in our relationship up until this point and everything was going so well." and "I have never lied to him about anything and would have been honest about this or anything else if he had asked" make me lose all sympathy for OP and think that they are being _incredibly_ dishonest. Seriously, not one single solitary person with a functioning brain would think the fact that them previously filming a naughty tape as part of a MMMF foursome would "not be a big deal." OP was _almost certainly_ aware that was in fact a big deal and that it could be a dealbreaker for the relationship, yet she intentionally withheld that information from the BF, not allowing him to have all the information necessary to make an informed decision as to whether or not he wanted to continue the relationship. She said there weren't any problems up until that point and that everything was going well. Yeah, no crap there won't be any problems and things will be going well when you _intentionally withhold the information that could lead to there being problems and things not going well._ She claimed she never lied to her BF, yet intentionally hiding information you know could be an issue is lying by omission _which is still lying._ She claimed she would have been honest with her BF if he asked, yet he had no reason to ask because she never gave him any indication that something like this may have happened. Most sane people don't tend to go up to their partner and just randomly ask "hey, out of curiosity, have you ever been railed by three dudes on camera before?" Additionally, if you have information that might be a dealbreaker, you don't wait until your partner maybe possibly asks about it to tell them, you be honest about that crap _up front._ Seriously, if the roles were reversed in this situation and a guy was intentionally withholding information he knew might be a dealbreaker for the relationship because he didn't want his GF possibly leaving him, no one, _and I mean no one_ would be supporting him, everyone would be calling him out on that. Lastly, the OP saying in the update that "one bad decision" screwed everything up is laughable. No, this wasn't "one bad decision." Filming the video was one bad decision. Going the entity of a 4 year relationship actively deciding to not tell your partner about something that happened in your past that might have been a dealbreaker was an ongoing series of _hundreds_ of bad decisions. EDIT: After going to the actual thread and reading OP's comments, it turns out my feeling that she was not being honest was correct. OP confirmed in the comments that she worked as a sex worker for many years prior to dating her ex-BF and was in fact paid to make that video.

[@alexnightray3204]

Well-said and explained.

[@Cocoa.Tresbelle]

304s learning your pass has consequences 😂

[@loganjoh1]

Story 1: OP is a victim of this revenge porn but the ex isn’t wrong for ending things because of it if he can’t get past it and now sees her in a new light it’s better to just go your separate ways both of them need therapy tho

[@ZombieSazza]

Story 2: sounds like drugs? Just going on the erratic, violent behaviour and the fact OPs daughter has essentially disappeared from her life. OP needed to call the cops immediately after that attack tho, her daughter was trying to coerce a thumb print and attacked OP, that’s INSANE.

[@MizMorgue1]

Agreed. And possible Cult activities. I've heard stories of Poligamist Mormons and Scientologists doing this exact same thing. Daughter is a lost cause.

[@vggeek13]

It's also not great that op doesn't mention daughter and the husband/cousins ages... just that it was her choice. Because grooming in cults to keep women and children from straying is a big thing and idk if sister in law was her brothers wife aka the in law as well, or ops husbands sister... like maybe op escaped a cult, met her well off husband but for the sake of the children thought her brother was ok to come around with his kids and then bam- her daughter is back in it

[@derricksmith3211]

What Op is going through in the first story is exactly what all the onlyfans girls are going to encounter in their future. Just because you regret it doesn't mean it's not out there.

[@carlrood4457]

You can't ignore someone's past. Your past is who you are. It's literally the only way to have to judge someone. Should an employer ignore a resume? Should they not seek references?

[@juliearmfield2634]

Story 1. Actions have consequences good or bad with do you have to live with the consequences of your actions.

[@bhart3321]

Based as always Julie.

[@juliearmfield2634]

@@bhart3321 thank you 😊

[@lalvarez5151]

​@@bhart3321based on what?

[@ZombieSazza]

Story 1; this is a literal crime, it’s revenge p0rn, I’m sad nothing much has happened regarding police action tho because it means the person sending this video out is still able to ruin OPs life in the future. Not touching the whole debate around what she should or should not have done, because I literally don’t have answers for that, I’m just touching on the criminality of this story.

[@ElfInTheFlowers]

Thank you! There is a victim blaming and s&*t shaming vibe in a lot of the comments.

[@lithuaniaball]

...no? It literally isn't? It *is* alienation of affection. That's a crime in some states. But she recorded that willingly, and she ever uploaded it anywhere, it's out of her hands no matter how much she might regret it now

[@bryn1063]

​​@@lithuaniaballThats not how revenge porn works. People take nude photos willingly. Yet if you share those photos without their consent its revenge porn. Its the same here. If she consented to the video being private, leaking it is revenge porn. Thats why they sent it anonymously.

[@kp2223]

I get the people are mad about the lack of police effort but she didn't really have any information to give the police. She no longer had the video and no information on even the I. G page so as far as the police are concerned, There's next to no evidence that the video was even sent.

[@davidransom4476]

Story 1: BF knew he wasn't her first, but probably thought it was one on one, not being used as a toy by three at once. Also, OP said she made a video, not that it was filmed secretly. OP also never answered Fragrant_Spray's question of if there were things in the video OP would not do with her BF. That can be a big indicator of feelings for a guy. BF breaking up with OP on the spot is also a healthy and productive way to deal with it........for the BF. Is it Revenge Porn if someone not involved found it on the internet and sent it to the BF? Imagine OP getting married and having kids and classmates find the video. Story 2: Must have a will. Leave her the minimum amount to keep her from getting anything else. ALWAYS call the police.

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

"If there were things in the video that OP did not want to do with her boyfriend" maybe she got all of that out of her system. If it's a point of contention with the bf then they both have every right to go they're separate ways. As for your Revenge porn comment... it's still 100% revenge porn. A third party got their hands on the video & sent it to the bf with malicious intent. Whether or not she knew she was being filmed doesn't matter. And she never stated it was posted to the internet which is another case of revenge porn. She just said someone sent him the video not that it was directed from a website.

[@kp2223]

​@@TwiggyHetfield27You're sort of correct, if the person who shared it with the boyfriend got it from a p*** site on the internet.They're just sharing public information and they aren't culpable of revenge p***. The person who leaked it and filmed it is, and that's only if Opie didn't give her consent for it to be shared, which op never clarified, if they gave consent for it to be shared.She might have just thought it would never get to anyone she wanted to be with.

[@bhart3321]

​@@kp2223Thank you been saying the same thing. The fact that she's cagey about the details makes me think she willing made gb 🌽 & that's there's possibly MORE videos out there. Under those circumstances you're correct revenge p laws don't apply.

[@sidhedanu]

My ex-stepfather, now in his 70s I would imagine, is the product of first cousins. Of 5 siblings, 2 had the mental capacity of toddlers and he and another had severe mental health issues.

[@ronbeyak9886]

Story 2: I can hear the banjos playing right now. The daughter and her cousin/husband could belong in the movie Deliverance.

[@darecrise]

Spending to organisations for old age or disabled people over 21 is a great idea. These two groups have the smallest fundings and get the fewest donations.

[@helenegrootenboersecondant5474]

Story 1 makes clear that you have to discuss your sexual past with the partner you see yourself having a future with. These things usually blow up

[@icewolvz6977]

anybody worth being with won't care. this guy was just insecure

[@haileygoofy8454]

You want an itemized list of my past partners and sexual experiences. That's crazy. The dude is just insecure because it's his first relationship.

[@jr5557]

​​@@haileygoofy8454 I feel like you're being disingenuous. if you've done something as big as sex work, I don't think it is absurd to say you should disclose that to your partner. Nobody is saying recount every sexual encounter you've ever had, but I do think someone should be able to have the choice whether or not they're in a relationship with someone who has done sex work. Some people are just not comfortable with it and that is their choice. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who's not comfortable with their partner having done sex work? Disclosing it up front gives people who are not going to be compatible with you the chance to leave peacefully. Instead of in a big blow up of hurt feelings and canceled engagements like what happened with this op

[@hazeltulip]

@@haileygoofy8454 you realize it’s standard in relationship to disclose those things, right?

[@mert828]

I don't really think that's necessary. You can just say you had a slut era and leave it at that unless you've slept with someone who is still in your life somehow.

[@davidtriplett8105]

Lie of omission=consequences

[@DragonflyandTheWolf]

OP in the first story is better off without her fiance (though she should look into who sent the video). Its not that he was shocked or unprepared for it. It was that he immediately accused her of being a gold digger and cheating because all of the sudden he is aware of her sexual history. What does gold digging even have to do with her casually sleeping with three guys? That is the opposite of gold digger behavior.

[@Gumbier_Than]

That was my gripe. I don't get having an NSFW tape causing a person to want someone for their money. I think he just didn't want to give the reason it was the foursome. 🙄

[@cloroxflavoredbleach9362]

Story 1: das crazy, 3 at once 😂

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: "It caused him to break up with me." This was their intention, OP. I'd investigate who wanted your fiance. Regardless, you're allowed to have a past and if he's going to let that cause problems in an otherwise good relationship, he's not the kind of partner you want to marry. S2: Report that lawyer. He knew they were trying to trick you into signing legal documents, and watched as she committed several crimes. NTA. She married her cousin...Yeah, I'm thinking daughter had problems before that mom just had rose-colored glasses on. But NTA OP. She made her bed, now she gets to sleep in it. Donate whatever you don't spend to a charity in your husband and son's names.

[@GreenKnight1982]

Yep because anybody with any kind of preferences an asshole and they should be accepting of whatever people did in the past.

[@chickensandwich8808]

100% If I were the fiancé I would be more pissed off someone sent this to me and do my damndest to find them and file a police report for revenge p*rn. The fact that the fiancé broke up is super disappointing. This type of weaponization of sex against women really pisses me off.

[@sacredbeastzenon]

@@chickensandwich8808 From the fiance's perspective what's the point?

[@driversuz44]

Story 1: It would be highly appropriate to share such information at some point between the first date and the engagement. Perhaps around the time that you agree to be exclusive, at which point there is soime real potential for a long term monogamous relationship.

[@aduckofsomesort]

If it was never part of your relationship to discuss exactly what activities you had done prior to the relationship, then nobody can get mad when they find out about something that they didn’t ask about. And OP is the victim of a crime, revenge prawn is not legal.

[@aamp84]

You sound dumb

[@Pikaman20008]

@@aduckofsomesort That doesn’t mean they have to stay with them though. People are allowed to have boundaries

[@aduckofsomesort]

@@Pikaman20008 sure he can leave but he has no right to be mad and that is not what a boundary is

[@Pikaman20008]

@@aduckofsomesort No he has every right to be mad. Also it turns out OP was actually a sex worker for many years so she absolutely needed to disclose that.

[@Yeahno-ey3rb]

Story 1: It does appear as if at some point OP and partner's relationship past was brought up, hence she knows he didn't have much of a sexual past and OP did and that would've been the correct time to have that talk. OP could've told the ex at any point. OP did lie by omission and, this whole thing could've been avoided if she had let him know that the video was out there somewhere. OP knew that the video was out there and the thing is, if it's out there, it's never going away. I'm sorry it was used a revenge porn and I hope OP is able to trace who did it

[@gartsur84]

S1 if you have been with someone for years, and you are even engaged, you should open up with everything. This ended up in break up, but it could hace easily been a divorce.

[@priam2882]

Talking about past sexual experiences is a needed thing, especially when you were his first girlfriend. It IS a lie of omission because he has no reason to wonder and you have reason to be clear

[@HAPPYGIRRLL]

Story 1:OP should give the police the names of the men in the video. One of them recorded the act and sent it to the others. Maybe then it could be traced to who sent it to OP's now ex. She is going to have to fight this or it will continue to disrupt her future.

[@KG-VanityInKnickers]

I hate to be that person but OP lied by omission not disclosing the video because, even though it was a mistake from your past, you took away HIS right to decide if he was okay with a video floating around with you and three guys when things became serious. Also you kept a part of yourself hidden from him, which also becomes a trust issue. That's a huge problem because it looks to him like you didn't think he could handle the truth. People you're intimately involved with shouldn't have to pry your past out of you... I mean who the hell even THINKS to ask "have you ever been in a p**n video" to perspective partners (!?!?)so your excused of "he didn't ask" just doesn't fly. Some guys don't care that you did p**n but others see it as a deal breaker. And I know that it's hypocritical, but it is what it is.

[@davidtriplett8105]

Sure thing Buddy 😂

[@IrisAsuras]

The revenge porn. I'd dig deeper on that and put more pressure on the police. Sometimes police are just lazy. Who had the video initially? They let it get out.

[@mbyerly9680]

In the US, this is usually a federal crime so the FBI could be involved. The ex-fiance deleted the video ASAP so all the evidence is gone.

[@debc6260]

So in the 2nd story, if OP's daughter married her 1st cousin, doesn't that make daughter's SIL OP's NIECE? All the EW!

[@Bucketus.Lord.of.Buckets]

The number of redditors psychoanalyzing everything, trying to avoid the elephant in the room He doesn't want to be with someone who was a triple stuffed oreo. Stop going "it was in the past!" with this crap. The past is what makes who you are, and he didn't want to be a part of that. Own it. And yes, there is a difference between getting triple teamed (ON CAMERA) and just having eight partners in the past.

[@cuzican1902]

I seriously doubt the veracity of 8 partners when she was filmed with 3 of them. She only slept with 4-5 guys (unsure if ex is one of the "8") to gangbang on camera.

[@cthulhuspawn6290]

Damn, if story 1 op ever has a kid and the kid's classmates ever find the video...

[@josephmbimbi]

Story 1: I'm with most comments pointing out how OP is the real victim of revenge p*rn here. That being said, while you don't disclose this type of thing on date 1, i think it is healthy to do so when the relationship is getting serious, when you start discussing plans for the future. Deep down we all know the part of ourselves, of our history we would rather keep quiet about, like "i'm afraid s-he might leave", and that's precisely what we need to talk about with serious partners imo: s*x, addictions, mental health, previous partners, anger issues, history of violence, avoidance, money, diverse insecurities, etc. and what we do or did to try to address that, or come up with something with our partner. If you're getting really serious, you should show 100% of yourself. If you have a blockage in yourself or are not confident it would be received well, there is something to address. If you can't address it, i don't think you can get serious in that relationship.

[@thebhome]

Story 2: My mom worked in government, like high up in the legal/law area. I met some INTENSE attorneys and I have learned what to say and how to act when I need one. But to never just throw it out there for pressure reasons. Take the money and run. Ignore the daughter and sue for emotional damage and make her sweat for consistently coming at you.

[@ddavis8988]

Story 1: How could he accept her past when she never told him about it?

[@johnbradbury8610]

exactly, she knew he wouldn't be okay with it which is why she never told him. considering she had sex with there guys one one tape I doubt she only slept with 8.

[@dragb9284]

@@johnbradbury8610yeah that’s what I don’t get people have pasts ok but you tell your partner at some point so stuff like this doesent happen

[@Goliath_mindset]

This whole post comes across like "how can I gaslight my soon to be husband that this was a fluke in my (supposedly) 8 previous partners".

[@bryn1063]

He never asked about her past though.

[@ddavis8988]

@@bryn1063 That type of deceptive thinking is how you end up in situations like hers

[@shaycornacorn]

Instructions unclear, I was not told to chuck a prawn on the barbie 🤔

[@jkman9828]

Story 1: OP is NTA, But honestly neither is the BF. Sure she does not have to disclose this, But I personally also would be uncomfortable having a relationship with someone that's been in a gangbang. Wouldn't have stepped into a relationship with that prior knowledge 100%.

[@ComaLies225]

I have a genuine question for the people in this comment section: I always found it weird how guys get bent out of shape over a woman’s body count. I’m a woman who’s only a limited number of partners and I’ve been with men who had double-triple the amount of partners I had. Not being snarky but why does that bother you? Personally as long as you don’t have a history of cheating and you have a good clean bill of health I can care less. I’m really curious to see how this goes lol.

[@NeloBladeOfRanni]

It's insecurity they can't bear the idea of a woman having a sexual past meanwhile they will go around banging any chick they can get their hands on

[@DarkestAndBlackest]

Some men genuinely just find it to be gross and turn off. It's an ick. It doesn't really have to be all that deep.

[@waitwhat1029]

​@@DarkestAndBlackest... Okay but why is it okay for men and not for women? Isn't that hypocritical?

[@shazamarkham]

Think of it this way there is no bigger destroyer to your reputation or image as a man than a woman who moved a certain way. No man wants to be known as the guy that married the woman on pornhub. You can have a past but if your past involves you making porn then societal consequences are to be expected. If that video ever got public essentially her family will be affected too. Man or Woman, your past is a part of you, so when it's bad, it will haunt the people around you. Even worse, if you go to church or such social events. Sure you might have changed but at the end of the day l choose me and my peace of mind.

[@ComaLies225]

@@shazamarkham I can understand that but what if this was just a regular person who wasn’t involved in adult movies or did adult work?

[@blackmesa232323]

I would dump my girlfriend immediately if I ever got a video like that.

[@brandonshelp4682]

Story 1: the dude's mental image of her is fundamentally altered. Your past has consequences. If she found out he used to torture animals, no one would question her having a negative reaction.

[@renew4425]

But torturing animals, and having a sexual past are not even close to comparable.

[@kalequail]

You just compared having a sex life to one of the signs of a serial killler…… think about that pls

[@Chelsea_Stringer]

Misogyny at its finest.....comparing a women's sexual history to the behavior of a serial killer.... good job 🎉

[@bleachparty8570]

I get what you're getting at but torturing animals and having a sexual past are not the same thing, dude. 😂

[@brandonshelp4682]

@@bleachparty8570 I didn't say they were the same thing. They are comparable int that they alter your opinion based on a past event and elicit a feeling of disgust

[@heatherdickau5335]

MARKEE! what in the Alabama roll tide is this? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@mbyerly9680]

Poor Alabama is even a joke to an Aussie.

[@heatherdickau5335]

@mbyerly9680 yes! Makes me wonder how he knows that? Has he lived there?

[@ZombieismIsAChoice]

Markee.... in story 2, it's SON IN LAW. 😂 OP even says it lol

[@thatonecooktone]

Why would someone ask their current partner if they made adult films before getting into our relationship with them?Most normal people don't just make adult films with multiple partners. Glad her bf moved on from her though. She can do whatever she wants sure but he also has a right not to be with someone like that.

[@CapnAkira]

Seriously. That's like being expected to ask your partner how many people they murdered. Most people don't assume they've done things like that.

[@lalvarez5151]

So let's say your partner has cheated on every partner...would you expect them to tell you about their past? Why why not?

[@NathanielTavington]

"It was a dick move" Markee it was a LITERAL CRIME. Revenge Porn is a CRIMINAL ACT!!!

[@Pikaman20008]

So it turns out that OP from Story 1 was a sex worker for many years and was paid to make that video. Does that still make distributing it revenge porn? I’m legitimately asking.

[@darth3911]

I don’t know for sure but personally I thought revenge porn had to be filmed without consent. I don’t know if non consented distribution also counts and that’s the core question.

[@ketrava0425]

On the foursome story, I kind of feel like if people were less embarrassed about the fact that they have had sex or atypical sex, this would be so much less of an issue. So what you had to force them in the past, you have no s t ds and you're loyal to them, we move on now, thank you

[@ketrava0425]

Like seriously? You let somebody ruin your chance at happiness. Because your partner had sex before they met you. Your blood is weak and you do not deserve a good partner. People are kinky and jt isn't a crime stop being so stressed on purity. Also yes my partner was poly before me and I have been with men and women. We have told each other gotten our std pedigree and now aside from helping each other through past trauma we don't care.

[@LadyWolvie82]

S2: Automatic NTA from me. The relative being married to her daughter is a whole case of WTF.

[@Fitz1993]

Story 1 - So is no on going to point out that what the OP did was most likely an actual porn shoot, and that whoever sent the video to her ex more than likely found it online and just sent him the link. Meaning it's not a crime and not revenge porn... Also you should definitely disclose something like that to your partner. Of course it's a "weird thing" to have to disclose, most people havent been willingly railed by three guys on camera.

[@WadeAlma]

She was paid to do it too btw.

[@Fitz1993]

@@WadeAlma Yeah 100%. But regardless, she did it and was completely aware of its existence and that her partner had a more than 0 chance of one day seeing it... Why wouldn't you disclose that to your partner, lol.

[@WadeAlma]

@@Fitz1993 Because she later admitted it was her job.

[@ondank]

Story 1 : Most people absolutely would not be happy with being blind sided with something like this and this is exactly why, if you have anything off centre in your past, you should bring it up. If your partner is a tool find our early and if there decent, make sure its not something you are blind sided with later. OP blaming it on others for sharing it and claiming it was on him for not asking is wild because normal people don't ask "hey did you get gangbanged on film". "You shouldn't be punished for decisions in your past" ... Well that's just outright stupid.

[@jr5557]

Yeah I feel like it's not something everyone is going to be able to handle and you have to give the partner the opportunity to decide if they can handle it or not.

[@Emi_TheWinged]

oh women slept with 3 men, but when men watch porn 24/7 also do those videos or sexualize everyone it's all fine because its normal. People should grow up and stop being misogynistic

[@ondank]

@@jr5557 absolutely and they are especially less likely to be able to handle that if someone else tells them.

[@natashahenry5044]

Honestly, I would have left her to and I’m a woman who dates men. Despite what people think, your past matters as much as your present. It matters how you deal with your past. If someone chooses to swipe everything under the rug eventually, that rug will run out of space and the heap becomes noticeable.

[@alexnightray3204]

@@natashahenry5044 Well-said with the analogy!

[@rinpaisys]

S2: that incest plot twist was an absolutely insane sucker punch

[@anotherone1532]

Story 1 all she had to do was get a lawyer to send a lawsuit against the 3 guys and I’m guessing one of them will figure out who did it real quick

[@TheVeggiekat]

Unless you are a virgin you should avoid dating virgins (male or female) You never hear about it ending well. Too much insecurity or feeling like they missed out or experienced partner wanting a power imbalance.

[@lukadollart9860]

I never thought I'd hear "roll tide" in an Australian accent 😂

[@VidGirl88]

Story one: was the video revenge p***? Would make it easier to figure out who sent it. This will haunt op's relationships if not addressed. Sucks police haven't been helpful.

[@kp2223]

Well, she hasn't really provided anything. She doesn't have the video. She doesn't even have info from the I. G account that sent it, so what do police really have to go on? They don't even have evidence the video was actually ever even sent.

[@moonyollie6977]

S2: So for people in a tangentially similar situation, ie you don't get on with your family for various reasons and do not trust them: make a WILL, AND an ADVANCED DECISION LIVING WILL. You can get these notarized, and basically stop people you do NOT want to have a say in your care if incapacitated to make decisions for you.

[@TopazFire15]

Story 1 is heartbreaking because she’ll never get justice for revenge porn. I hope she learns that not everyone has such puritanical views of their future wives, and she’ll find someone who understands that the past can stay in the past. Hopefully she is upfront about any and all potential dealbreakers going forward, at least to save herself some time and heartache while dating, even if her partner never asks.

[@cassiebones]

S2: Markee, it's son-in-law. Idk if this is a joke that's going over my head, but it's really bugging me

[@frustrateduser9933]

I was confused and thought I missed the part where the sister-in-law was mentioned.

[@RockCollector201]

A double drop?? We getting fed today 😎

[@N..P..]

Yeah... most men and women know that our spouses have a sexual history. The thing is, it's one thing to know your spouse had a sexual relationship with someone, and entirely another to know your spouse willingly slept with 3 different people at the same time while recording it.

[@darth3911]

Usually the type who want long term relationships will not consider women with body counts over four people. If she was serious and smart she’d been upfront regardless of how embarrassing it was for her.

[@rhuonaChanel]

​@@darth3911who is taking stats on women's b8dy count? Gtfoh 😂

[@anyjen]

Second story: first cousin marriage is legal in my country, but socially frowned upon and very rarely done. Still, her doing it somewhere it's actually illegal explains why she distanced herself from the rest of the family. Her still demanding everything and trying to get it in such a violent way? That was just greed and stupidity.

[@Number-vt1fl]

I find it funny how people think the past shouldn't matter. Your past actions are an indicator of future actions.

[@stolman2197]

Title story: while I feel for op I noticed that she absolutely avoided answering the question about if the video showed her doing acts that she'd refused to bf

[@kp2223]

I noticed that too.

[@coreymartin6486]

"I didnt think it was relevent to tell him" Hogwash. You knew it was but wanted to take away his right to an informed decision for your sake.

[@nightstarstar1]

He wasn’t entitled to a list of her sexual escapades. If it were a man you’d never expect that he needed to tell the woman his whole sexual history. The only information he needed was STI tests.

[@coreymartin6486]

@@nightstarstar1 yes I would expect a person to tell me they took sex videos, whether amatuer or on sexual casting sites. Hes not entitled to that info? Than nobody is entitled for his body to be in a relationship with them. His body, his choice. She can choose to do that and keep thst info private...and he can choose not to be in a relationship. Equality, remember? Fyi, my wife is of the same mind of such things, even more so.

[@randomusername3873]

​@@nightstarstar1has the "he's not entitled to know" ever worked in relationships?

[@blackmesa232323]

​@@nightstarstar1People are all about "communication is key" until a topic like this comes up lmao.

[@nightstarstar1]

@@randomusername3873 who cares? Men who feel they are entitled to a woman’s whole life should just date other men.

[@icrissa]

Story 1: Op was a victim of revenge porn and people are like "poor guy, I get it, she lied by omission" 🤯🤯🤯

[@psprinny5348]

So it would have been better to leave the fiance in the dark about that? Relationships built on lies are fated never to work out. Her being a victim of revenge porn is an entirely seperate issue and should not be construed with the fiance's decision to leave or stay in the relationship.

[@jasminerobertson4913]

You can worry about both. Those are separate issues.

[@66DoodleGal]

Story 1: OP dodged a bullet. Ex needs to get over himself

[@catherinecox573]

Just me, I couldn't be someone's first. What happened to OP and her ex is rough :/ i hope they both heal and find love again

[@wheelsndealz]

5:45 totally disagree. That is absolutely something that should be brought up. As weird or awkward or painful as it would be to talk about, its something that has to. There's a HUGE difference between having past boyfriends, and being dicked down by three dudes on film. Purposefully crass because thats how it is. thats what would he going through his head and what people are gonna think about. Even if it was one person, or just a scene from skinamax, having it out there being a time bomb waiting to show up is something you warn uour partner about. Nothing on the internet ever goes away and you should definitely let your partner know if its something you think could harn the relationship. Not doing so is proof you know youre wrong and know it means more. Making it dishonest, adding more to how much it affects the relationship.

[@wheelsndealz]

10:25 again, no one is saying you bring it up on the first date. You're being weird. It's a fallacy the way you're saying that. You can bring it up during the past sexual history discussion.

[@michealwatts7469]

I kinda feel bad for OP but … I also kinda dont. Its a crime so hopefully she gets it resolved. Dont make videos and put that shit on the internet. Dude had his reasons and he didnt want to roll with it. She may find someone in the future hopefully cause she clearly putting the work in but just to make something Clear: OP’s Ex wasnt punishing her and she needs to understand that one.

[@MrBrachiatingApe]

A lot of people in the comments do, too. As happens more commonly than I would like, men having standards is treated as near-criminal, contemptible, etc. Calling the BF stupid, an idiot, insecure, etc., that's not only contemptible behavior, but it's also prideful ignorance and hubris...and we used to all know how _brilliantly well_ hubris in general ends. How ignorance is never a virtue in itself. But to be proud of your ignorance? Proud of how wildly unrealistic your standards--your demands--are? We've made this world waaaay too easy for people...we need challenge, and we need to run headlong into reality's hard edges and sharp corners a few times in low-stakes ways, because not only is entitlement ugly, mass entitlement is dangerous. Ten of millions of supremely demanding adults who've never heard no, never matured past a combination of toddlerdom's egotism and adolescence's febrile brittleness, nor ever been slapped down by forces outside their control can transform a minor crisis into a major one, and a major one into an existential threat. Just by being themselves.

[@lisa9110]

Hi Markee! Alabama girl here. We don't have relationships with or marry our cousins. Just so you know! 😂

[@bryn1063]

This is basically revenge p and not enough people are mentioning it. If op wanted it private and some random leaked it by definition this is a crime. I think op should've been honest but if it never came up, whens a good time to say that? I understand why the fiance did it but it's sad in this situation that she didnt get any justice. Yes. She consented to recording it but no she didnt consent for it to be shared.

[@kp2223]

Not everywhere, considers revenge p*** a law. This might not even be in America and if it is not all states have the law.

[@GeraldH-g8t]

Story 1: the video became irrelevant the moment he called her a gold digger out of nowhere. You cannot marry a man who doesn't respect you, less alone doesn't defend you. He's just not husband material. He's angry for something he never bothered to ask, that she did before she even knew about his existence, and despite it being an actual crime against his fiancé, he focused in the part that made HIM feel emasculated. A man is free not to marry a girl because of her past, but he's not worth it the moment he decides to insult her about it.

[@d.wayneharbison8691]

1st Story: Actions have consequences. OP engaged four men at the same time, and let it be filmed. It doesn't matter that she was going through stuff back then. What matters is that she did it, and now she's had to pay the price for it.

[@Chelsea_Stringer]

If a guy had a 4some he would get high-fives and I doubt anyone would say he should "pay the price" now. Sex for men is celebrated, women's sexuality is demonized unless its for the benefit of men. Not to mention, revenge porn is literally a crime and is becoming more recognized as a crime. Unless I missed it, OP didn't consent to being filmed. If she did consent to the filming (literally is her right to do so if she wishes), she didn't consent to the sharing of that film.

[@d.wayneharbison8691]

Sorry that reality sucks for her.

[@psprinny5348]

@@Chelsea_Stringer Welcome to society. Both genders have shitty double standards to face. It doesn't make it right, but one shouldn't delude themselves into thinking that it doesn't exist

[@trinitylane2202]

Story 2: OP's daughter sounds deranged. Sounds like OP lost her son and her husband within a few months. I'm wondering how the husband and son died. Perhaps her daughter and husband had something to do with their deaths. It wouldn't be the first time a child murdered a parent, or a sibling, in order to get their hands on an inheritance.

[@DonnaMSD]

I'm loving that Markee not only knows the stereotypes for Alabama, he tossed in a Roll Tide!! ❤❤

[@tonemaster4608]

The ex was such a scumbag, op was a victim of a crime, and made a dumb choice, that if the ex did something like a 4 way with three chicks, he'd say it's different. Op dodged a bullet with this guy cause he sounds hella judgemental and it wasn't going to work in the marriage

[@drasticallyfantastic7164]

"and he fell for it" fell for nothing, it happened and was just as nasty. Streets stain for life.

[@NoReaSoN2CaR3]

Homie was doin him a favor. Lettin him know he was marrying a 304

[@bhutehole]

@8:45 this redditor really made the argument you shouldnt be held responsible for your past... Yeah ok what about rapist,murderers,thieves, i could go on and on.

[@Floratic]

Markee said "Roll tide Alabama" 😂