My Fiance Hates That I Bought Shoes For My Child But Nothing For Her Children r/Relationships

[@rinpaisys]

The fact she just f**kin left one of her own kids behind for not siding with her speaks volumes on her character.

[@nothereyetlost]

It actually doesn’t. Y’all just say meaningless nonsense

[@Ashakat42]

​@@nothereyetlostPlease explain how you came to that conclusion.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

@@nothereyetlostfound the mother!

[@nothereyetlost]

@@itsjustmaddisen lol. Not the mother. I’m just not a mindless drone of patriarchy conditioned to auto side with a man that’s deeply deluded and in such state only capable of spewing abject lies. Believe me if I find the mother I’d applaud her!!!

[@nothereyetlost]

@@Ashakat42 no actually YOU need to explain why YOU think leaving a GROWN child behind says anything about a character as opposed to being evidence the will of that grown child.

[@Nevertoleave]

They’re not just shoes, they’re sports equipment. It’s like buying your kid a new racket and then the fiancée demanding OP buy tennis rackets for her kids who hate tennis. That’s just crazy and entitled

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

Not just that. I was just listening while zoning out, when I thought waitaminnit. 300 for five pair of specific-to-the-sport shoes? That’s only $60 a pair, which really isn’t bad. I know I paid $60 for a pair of Nike running shoes once, and that was ten years ago AND was a *sale* price.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Op was a dumbass for staying with this woman. He had absolutely nothing to gain if they got married, but when they got divorced she would have gotten half. He was also an AH to his daughter. He owes her an apology.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

@@johnbradbury8610 Uh, did you listen to the update? He dumped her BEFORE they got married. He even refers to her as his ex-FIANCÉE, not ex-wife.

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@GrumpyOldFart2 that's why I said was past tense. Learn to read.

[@knrdvmmlbkkn]

@@johnbradbury8610"He was also an AH to his daughter." How? Or did you mean "She"?

[@skyelindsey687]

“If I sent my fiancé the money for shoes for my daughter I can’t guarantee the money would be used for that.” If that’s the case then DON’T MARRY HER!!!

[@PinkMarshmallows]

OP: "I don't think she's a gold digger" Me: You sure about that? Are you REALLY sure? Cuz it sounds like it to me. Update: Now he sees that she's a gold digger.

[@locusxe1411]

I knew she was up to no good but when we got to the part about the prenup I knew she had to be divorced immediately. Prenups aren’t there because you think your partner is a gold digger. It’s there because you want both parties to be protected if something were to happen that causes a divorce

[@MrJpaynebb]

​@@locusxe1411my thing is OP is a parent. Parents with assets going into a 2nd or 3rd marriage have a responsibility to make sure their assets are protected in case of a divorce to provide for their kid(s). Too many posts of parents losing homes and money they had, especially assets from a dead spouse, to a new spouse in the divorce because they didn't have a prenup.

[@terramarini6880]

🎵Now I aint saying she a gold digger🎶 🎶but she aint messin with no broke blokes!🎵

[@nothereyetlost]

How’s she a gold digger if one needs resources to live? Is that just being smart to make sure you can provide for yourself even if you get help from someone? Do you really expect women to have no money to live on in the name of love???

[@nothereyetlost]

@@terramarini6880how is she a gold digger? Is she supposed to ensure she can have money to live on? Sure she can provide for gif herself but then she won’t need a man would she? I mean are you saying to get a man she HAS to risk homelessness?? That’s the biggest selling point of you men? Why would any woman marry you then?

[@owl7072]

Story 1: I already agreed with Op on the matter, but when it was clarified that the shoes were bought _now_ rather than later because Op was going on a work trip when daughter's stuff started, and they couldn't trust fiancee to buy the shoes even if money was sent? That was not only what further solidified my opinion, but also made me seriously question why you would want to be with someone who you can't trust to support your child when you aren't around even if you give them the means to do so, meanwhile they expect you to support theirs unconditionally. The utter audacity.

[@keepdancingmaria]

To be honest, that's when I started thinking badly of OP. He KNOWS his fiancee will not take care of his daughter properly, yet he's still engaged to her, and still plans to leave his daughter in her care while he is on this business trip. That is not good parenting... Note, I'm not defending the character of the fiancee. I'm saying that the reveal of just how bad fiancee's character is, means OP's character is pretty bad, too. There's a reason he thinks it's OK to be with such a person. Birds of a feather.... It also rubbed me the wrong way that he called the shoes, gifts. No..... They are needed equipment for her life. I'm now wondering if he calls a new toothpaste a gift.

[@kentario1610]

​@@keepdancingmaria Just a small nitpick, everyone needs toothpaste, it isn't a choice, but his daughter chose a sport and it isn't a necessity the same way brushing teeth is. I think he figured he would splurge on his daughter who he obviously cares a lot about if he set her an appointment specifically about her sport, and then immediately after made her pick four pairs and stuff. They're necessary for her sport but they are a luxury, they're a gift, like the ones he got his stepkids on their special events too.

[@knrdvmmlbkkn]

@@keepdancingmaria"They are needed equipment for her life." Items related to sports (or other hobbies) aren't necessities.

[@lisakaz35]

That OP who broke things off with his ex sounded like a catch and I guess that's why fiancee latched onto him while maintaining her hypocricy. Hope he and his daughter find better (and kudos to maintaining a bond with the would-be step daughter).

[@roelthas]

I'm glad OP understood the problem at end because it was frustrating how everyone was telling him that the now ex fiancee didn't care about his daughter but OP was only focusing on "money is not an issue."

[@xplayfan21]

Story #1 and 2 I love how OP'sStepdaughter is gonna stay with him and not with her own mother Wow Even mama's daughter says that mama's a B. word

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

S1: NTA. OP's fiancee is just looking for a paypiggy for her and her offspring. But this sort of thing is one of the many reasons I don't recommend getting involved with someone with minor/dependent children. It rarely goes well. S2: It's quite ironic that the 16 year old, who is old enough to get a job, is calling her brother a parasite when he buys the food she eats, the electricity she uses and the smartphone that entertains her. I'd turn the tables around on her and call _her_ the parasite and ask her daily if she's found a job yet so she can start contributing to the household instead of being a sponge.

[@NoOne-fo1di]

FINALLY!!! Someone asks for advice and actually takes it.

[@tineve2002]

There's a saying that goes "Don't bite the hand that feeds you" That's what OP's fiancee did. OP's fiancee did not see a potential husband and stepdaughter, all she saw was a potential ATM Machine for her and her own children with little or no contribution to the marriage. I am glad that OP kick her to the curb and decided to kept and help her daughter because OP understands that his stepdaughter would rather live with him than stay with her selfish, self- centered mother.

[@SirBitingBen]

That's what I was thinking when he said he was wealthy and kept ignoring the redflags she was giving. Like bro, you know shes wth you for the money right? I had a friend like that who me and all his other friends told his GF was bad news and he ignored us, and a couple months later he comes back crying kuz she cheated.

[@tineve2002]

@handsom3ben Damn Dude!!!!!. I am speechless 🙊. I hope your friend is fine.

[@SirBitingBen]

That was years ago, he's got a fiancée or finace now and seems happy@@tineve2002

[@anahkit]

Story 1. I see no need for OP to justify why he bought his own child shoes, which she would be actually using, unlike the other kids. That rubbed me the wrong way so much, I don't like OP's fiancé and the kids sound super ungrateful. They don't even thank OP when he does buy something for them? I say thank you to even strangers, it's simple manners to me. Doesn't sound like the fiancé cares to encourage them to show respect and gratitude. Edit: Oh god, it gets progressively worse. Fiancé is entitled as heck! She always wants her kids to get something whenever OP buys something for his own child. Is she a gold digger or something? Update: Yep, I called it. Glad he left.

[@nothereyetlost]

I’m sorry how is wanting normal everyday consumerisnm goods being a gold digger? Like he for real. Yourecalling the want if BASIC goods gold digging. That’s spoiled, entities, yes, not gold digging

[@wplains]

Lol the only one who played her cards right was fiancée’s daughter. She knew a good thing when she saw it and sweet talked her way into getting supported by OP. However, OP should be very careful about sharing a home with a grown girl who is not related to him. Be very careful about false SA allegations in the future. With a mother like that, I wouldn’t be surprised!

[@wplains]

@@nothereyetlostDid you not hear the rest do the story or do you just have difficulty understanding?

[@nothereyetlost]

@@wplains I understand just fine. It’s YOU who think women should receive less than they deserve and work for free. This woman makes so little she has to live with her mom but SOMEHOW y’all have decided SHE should’ve been the one providing gifts to the daughter. That’s fine nonsense. She likely couldn’t provide gifts gif her own kids and feels guilty for that, which is why she gets and at op when he buys things. Yet you all believe the “she only provides” little affection to me and my daughter. Yy the FIRST thing the girl did when got home was to brag to HER about about her new shoes which means she provides PLENTY of nurture to that girl for her trust her and share so easily. Essentially what you’ve decided is HE can nickel and dime what HE provides but how dare she nickel and dime in return what SHE provides. Which means she expends HER energy for no benefit. I say the woman is better off. Always better to be poor than to be used

[@nothereyetlost]

@@wplains well if there ever was an allegation the chance of if not being false liters 99.99999%. It’s really funny how despite plenty of evidence of men’s criminality and abuse and manipulation and murder, and rape and women’s far less ones, you STILL choose to believe men as the aggrieved ones be default. Again, the Cush d of OP raping the girl is 99.9999999% when compared to the chance of the girl falsely accusing him.

[@herewego8686]

Lol she had NOTHING to offer and she still tried that stunt lol

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

What was lil sis’ endgame? Why would she continuously pester the man that gave her her electronics? I don’t get it, she had multiple chances to stop and maybe be allowed to keep her toys but she blew it at every single opportunity.

[@kaykay8855]

I used to be like the little sister. I would say that my sister was leeching off my parents, mostly my mom. What I didn’t know that my mom was helping her with her son, my nephew. My dad would use me as an emotional sponge when she got pregnant. I just parroted what he said. I’ve apologized and we have a better relationship.

[@Hiimreggie]

5 pairs of shoes sounds like a steal

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

Yeah I was like you got 5 for only 300 holy hell where is that? I paid 250 aud for one pair a year ago

[@WyntheRogue]

If you look in the right place and the right time, some shoes have reasonable prices, just got myself some nice slip resistant Sketchers for work for 30 dollars on Amazon a couple weeks ago which is definitely a steal since that brand has always lasted me forever. OP probably found a solid shoe or sporting goods shop that haven't jacked up their prices.

[@dream6562]

The most giveaway was that she didn't do any house chores

[@yamairad1]

She didn't even hang out with them. She wouldn't hang out with her own fiance.

[@wplains]

@@yamairad1OP was very blind. It took strangers in the internet to point out how toxic this woman was. He’s a bit dense lol!

[@bryn1063]

what was the sister expecting? Don't bite the hand that's fed you. She still didn't learn her lesson either. That story was so infuriating

[@kayburnett9492]

Wow. 6 pairs of running shoes for only $300.

[@jeannieanonie7932]

Right my husband speeds 100 to 150 for 1 pair.

[@mimiwhite1963]

That woman is a total gold digger.

[@johnbradbury8610]

And Op is a chump.

[@eph2vv89only1way]

I thought the same thing very quickly into the story

[@eph2vv89only1way]

​@@johnbradbury8610not a chump. He did fight back after all

[@rachaelclark8465]

Kid/step Kid story) Your fiance don't/won't get your daughter gift or anything, then turn around b!tch you get stuff for her kids. 🙄🤦‍♀️So much laughable.

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

Story 3 😮 sister was very entitled but there could have been a different reason that she was angry about her brother moving back in, not just "I’m not the only kid again". He may have inadvertently offended her and it might be a good idea to clear the air. His sister fights like a squid squirting ink and running away… it’s not a healthy way to deal with problems. Also… If he’s contributing to household expenses maybe his parents are enjoying some financial relief and how having him there is beneficial to the family needs to be explained to the sister too. The rising cost of even just food is a slap in the face with a wet fish 🐠 though jobs are scarce maybe the 3 adults in the household can figure out a way for her to earn some money from them (washing their cars, mowing the lawn etc) to pay for some non-essentials so she gets an idea of how the world works.

[@terramarini6880]

I think she had hopes of being allowed to move in with him to get out from under the parents seemingly sterile and joyless existence. Him moving back in messes up that plan, she sees no way out(teen drama🙄) and is death blossoming💣 (on a small scale). I like the squid analogy.

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

@@terramarini6880 oh yeah that makes sense.

[@cutietae247]

So thankful to be childfree. How stupid is it to get mad at someone else for buying their own kid stuff??? It’s his child and he likely can afford it. She never said they couldn’t buy that- she was mad he didn’t fork out for her kids. I feel like this is telling. She doesn’t intend on keeping up her end of the deal and caring for her OWN damn kids, leave before she’s asking why you’re not paying for her kid’s college too (edit: thank god they weren’t already married when he finally realized.)

[@nothereyetlost]

Well hold on. Would it also be acceptable if she cooks for her kids but his. That’s HER labor going towards a kid not hers. That’s also providing in a sense, and a Irving to their agreement, HE should be providing for his own kid. The problem with these men is exactly this: they always want to use women, but not be used by women. If they agree tgey should provide for their own kids, that naturally includes labor too bc that’s likely what the woman brings to the table. Otherwise it becomes a thing where she’s providing for his kids and he is not providing for hers. Yes it is best he leaves to save her the trouble of his parasitic ass.

[@cutietae247]

@@nothereyetlost I consider her labor equal considering he covers all household expenses. Last I checked all the kids including HERS use lights, they use the water, they eat the food. Cooking it is the least you can do. Honestly this whole dynamic wasn’t bad but she wanted more. She clearly was expected to pay for extra hobbies after school, and any extra gifts . He already said he bought stuff for her kids before and they didn’t care. She never once did that and gave excuses.

[@nothereyetlost]

@@cutietae247 no it WAS bad. She was doing far more than she was given credit for, believe me. Ok stop with the expecting her to pay for gifts when it’s clear her income was pathetically low. This is PRECISELY why YOU cannot be right. Even if the face of pure math, you’re still making wrong claims abd missing the very basic. If her income was established to be LOW, you can’t expect her to be buying gifts, especially when gifts to her own children was PURELY an assumption. Omg!!! I can’t with y’all. And YES a woman IS supposed to gain financial security with the man who’s porking her or why be there at all. She can do bad ALL by herself. Why would she aim to do bad with a partner on her back? You’re not even being realistically. It’s literally a dominos effect that if a woman provides for herself she no longer needs a man and with the demands men place on women, it quickly becomes not worth it to have one. Men themselves have said that which is why they want women to stop working and “get back into the kitchen”, but it seems you all prefer a woman stop her inbred nature to pretend she needs a man. This is insanity.

[@knrdvmmlbkkn]

@@nothereyetlost"and a Irving to their agreement" What's that supposed to mean?

[@katrinasamuels-garrison825]

The OP story about the shoes and gifts for fiancé's kids: I don't use this word often, but his fiancé is a gold digger! How does he not see this??! Don't get married! 🤦‍♀

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

Oh yeah she’s toxic. Glad OP saw the light

[@crawdaddy2004]

300 dollars for four pairs of athletic shoes is actually pretty cheap.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

My son does track, and yes indeed we have to get him new running shoes at least twice during the season, the twice for the rest of the year as he trains. But, unlike girls who feet stop growing at about 12 to 13 years old, boys feet grow until about 18 to 20 years old, so we don't buy them all at once due to the growth. Last January at the beginning of track he was a size 10.5, but now his shoe size is 13! As far as the prenup, only gold diggger say, "you want me to sign a prenup, so you don't trust or love me!" My husband came from a fairly wealthy family, and when he asked me to sign a prenup guess what I said? "No problem." 10 years ago when we celebrated our 20th anniversary one of the joint gift to each other was to absolve the prenup.

[@redconvoy]

Tell fiance to mind her own business when it comes to your daughter. You are responsible for her and not her kids.

[@carolroberts4614]

Markee, those reindeer are worrying me no end! They're straining so hard and getting nowhere!

[@spikesgirl9371]

😂😂😂😂

[@jimmygarza8896]

1: She's projecting, hard. Also, "low sex drive"? Or is it that she's getting some on the side, and is using OP because her boy toy won't contribute to her kids? She iced out her would be stepdaughter, and her own daughter took OP's side. If I were a gambling man, I'd bet the older daughter experienced something similar when she completed middle school.

[@aliveashes4532]

Why is op still with that leech fiancee? I just can't understand it. Edit: got to the part where he left, am satisfied

[@ceciliacalvin263]

Totally agree with you. Gf is a big time leech.

[@nanoglitch6693]

Why do people comment before the story is even over? It's not interactive and 99% your questions are gonna be answered by the end anyway. You must be one of those annoying people that is constantly interrupting others with your needless questions that would've been answered if you just waited two fn seconds. 🤣🤡

[@aliveashes4532]

​@@nanoglitch6693whine about it

[@BloodyMoon1]

If someone is against a prenup because "I'm not a gold digger," they're totally a fucking gold digger.

[@chinavaughan6383]

Story 1&2: Your girlfriend sounds entitled. You are not required to take care of her children. That’s up to her to provide for her kids, which she doesn’t seem to do, expecting her fiancé to do everything financially. I’m happy to hear that OP kicked her to the curb!😏

[@littlegreycat]

10:00 finace is crazy jealous and dysfunctional for inviting the boys to the argument

[@amemooress6291]

Glad someone pointed out that the sister just sleeping all day is probably due to depression. Thats 100% how I was (though not as a kid/teenager because smart phones didnt exist lol)

[@someoneelse4710]

Thats like $50 per pair of shoes? For good running shoes that shes going to use to death? To reduce the risk of hurting her feet due to the extreme mileage shes doing? Thats a great price. And i assume thats going to last her 1-2 years.

[@ladyofthelake93]

'She's against a prenup' I BET.

[@NikeAdeO]

in the last story where a commenter wrote about his friend's 16yr old daughter saying fuck you to her parents. I'll be honest, if any child of mine ever spoke to me that way, they'd end up in the hospital or in a coma. Absolutely no middle ground for reasoning after that

[@michaelwoods3651]

Story 1- the shoes were not really a gift. They were for her sports pursuits. The fiancé sounds like a nightmare. She probably has jealousy towards her stepdaughter. She has the participation trophy mentality. Everybody should get gifts or rewards if one of the kids gets something. She wants everything a traditional man can provide without doing anything that a traditional wife would do. Accept the consequences, honey!

[@eriibooo]

Something about that last story just seems so weird? OP makes no mention of trying to talk to his sister, reminding her that the phone she's using is payed for by him. I have to assume that he tried and he just didn't mention it? Or I missed it? He also never talked to his parents about this? One of their kids is bullying another and they just...? Do nothing? Say nothing? Where are they in this whole mess? They couldn't have sat down and helped explain the situation to her, or are the parents where she's getting the parasitic leech idea from? Then after OP's finally had enough and takes back his phone she just sleeps all day? Nobodies concerned? Again I ask WHERE ARE THE PARENTS?? Your child is sleeping all day a very clear sign something isn't quite right annnnd? Nothing?

[@BantheBans]

"La meau" 🐈 what I hear when people read LMAO as a word. A fancy French kitty. Hisss....

[@mztweety1374]

Give that child a list of stuff that we used to do back in the eighties and nineties go outside ride a bike play some board games read some books go to a movie learn how to use a library card....

[@kecward78]

Story 1: A good, satisfying ending. Only one question... Stepdaughter that sided w/ OP... Will he be able to maintain contact or any backlash from her own mother for siding w/ OP? She sounds like she's got her head on straight and doesn't expect handouts. Story 2: While the parents don't have any interest in tech, the world has changed. And for them to not adapt to help their own kids is almost abusive (unless this is because of $$$). The ability to do schoolwork, apply for jobs, hell, even order food are things that make some type of internet access important for all members of the family. While OP was right to treat his demon sister this way, the parents are incredibly selfish, IMHO.

[@colleens1107]

Ding ding ding, I called it. This woman is with OP solely for his money. She clearly expected him to allow her to cut him off from his daughter or make her life so miserable she would seek to live permanently with her mom. When she said she expected to get everything in the will I just LAUGHED. I CALLED IT. GOLD DIGGER. Well better late realizing his ex sucks than never AND ESPECIALLY before getting married. Jesus Christ what an idiot. Anyone smart would know to at least pretend to want to play stepmom but nope she was greedy and jumped the gun, thank god for that girl

[@mad-dog_gamer]

To the post about the shoes and switch, the shoes are athletic gear no different than pads and skates for hockey, and when I was a kid if one of our consoles broke she would get it fixed or replace it if there was enough money at the time. So as far as the switch goes it was less a gift and more a replacement, or an upgrade since she took such good care of it, you could go with the switch OLED. Not that that matters since you broke up.

[@coreymartin6486]

This dude needed to run.....she's continually damaging the relationship over money issues, gaslighting, drama in front of kids, and has terrible communication skills. Op really needs to take stock on what she values the most....because the relationship isn't it.

[@VFKAdventureRabbit]

Can't wrap my head around younger sister's behavior in Story 2. Parents should be nipping this nasty behavior in the bud, but it sounds like it just flies in that house.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

These two people are NOT ready to get married. Mom seems to only be in it for the money, as in, what can OP buy for her kids. OP minimizes & excuses his fiancee's tantrums. Neither adult is close with the other's kids, except OP and his fiancee's daughter seem to get along okay. Mom doesn't seem to understand that a parent can buy something for one kid without buying something for the rest of them, especially if it's something needed for school or a sport (like the running shoes, who cares if he buys them all at once or one pair now, one pair later? What an odd comment that was).

[@Chantal_P-v4x]

Story 2 -Op is in the right here - simply because his little sister is behaving in a way that makes her entirely undeserving of his considerate gift and use of his data plan. She's basically biting the hand that feeds her, insulting him that way, and for no clear reason too. HOWEVER, I do fully agree with the last Reddit commenter. And that was very well explained I think. We may or may not like or agree with it, but society is entirely tech-dependent now. A sixteen-year-old HS student pretty much needs a phone, (and a computer/printer too to keep up with school and anything involving coming even remotely social. This is the parent's responsibility though, yes, and certainly not OPs. But it does explain I think why she simply sleeps all-day. If the parents want to be low-tech fine. They certainly have that right. But I'm not sure they have the right to hold their child back socially. I mean... we as a society would seriously question the sanity of any parent who forces their child to walk to school every day with a bucket of their head or something... and these days I'm not sure that this is any different.

[@sandralynn7321]

Red flag. So many flags

[@villasenor5]

Silent treatment for two weeks? That’s not cool at all

[@ally-cat4377]

If his girlfriend wouldn't go take her to get shoes even if he sent money,.... bro, get out of that relationship.

[@wickedbird1538]

😮😮First story: My widowed brother has 4 grown stepdaughters. Any girlfriend who dares to complain about the money he spends on HIS girls gets dumped. Period.

[@realfinalProphet]

Comment : How do you not see you fiance Gaslighting OP: I've a lot of money

[@jaiengore2908]

I feel sorry for this guy.

[@zeevanatashazazhinne3136]

Story 1: Dang buddy. Sounds to me like NTA except for you might be to yourself for staying with this fiancé! From the first posting, you said that you and fiancé each agreed to take care of expenses for your own kids. She had the nerve to call you 'a man who won't provide' for her kids? You're 'all she had?' Maybe she should've thought about being nicer to the guy who was 'all she had.' Really glad you woke up and called it quits! You're a really good guy to keep supporting the ex's daughter who made an effort to have a good relationship with you! Good luck in your future. Hope you now know what red flags to look for! Story 2: You put up with it long enough and did the right thing! And good on you. Even though you wanted to be nice, she remained a brat. Let her buy her own. Be a brat, learn your lessons. I don't want to hear anyone saying 'she's a teen and they act out.' She's 16 and old enough to learn not to be a bxtch.

[@mindyschocolate]

S1: how much did fiancé spend on OP’s daughter? Ah. Zero. She’s a gold digger. Bye bye.

[@gilles111]

OP shouldn't bought all the shoes at once. A 14 yo kid is still growing and so does her feet (no matter they didn't grow in a few years - it can still change). Good chance some shoes won't fit anymore at the moment she needs them. But that's not what the motivation of OP's partner is, I guess. And partner doesn't want a prenup because that makes her look like a gold digger? Not wanting to spent any money on OP's daughter and not wanting any kind of prenup does make her sound like a gold digger.

[@guntgunderson2829]

If A woman won’t sign a prenup then she doesn’t need to he married. Theres a reason we ask for them cause refusing to sign one is basically admitting you are banking on having an escape plan where she will likely get cash and prizes for pulling the trigger. Sign the prenup if you are serious about the relationship. All marriages include the provision aspect, therefore gold digging will always be a factor regardless of the woman’s attitude towards it. If you aren’t digging for gold then sign it

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

So, these two people are in different financial earnings, both agreed they would handle/deal with their own kids. But now she has a problem with this, expects him to pay for nice stuff for her kids, and is bringing the kids into this? Nah bro.

[@dcg590]

Story1- why would a man of means marry a single mother of 3 in the first place?? Glad you ended it. You deserve better op. She’s looking for resources. Do you really want to raise some other guys kids anyway?

[@annhans3535]

There was so many red flags that this guy never saw them. He must be color blind.🤣

[@carolrondou6161]

Ain't saying she's a gold digger Your nothing but an ATM to her and her kids

[@chinaking918]

Waaaaait a minute waaaaaait. So the gf in story 1 don’t buy his daughter ANYTHING yet cries and complains when he doesn’t buy for her kids when he buy for his daughter, even though he does get them things? What kind of mess is that? Sound like she’s trying to replace your daughter with her kids. If she really cared about your daughter even if she don’t make much she still could get her little things like candles and whatnot the fact she doesn’t even think about her at all when shopping for her children would’ve been a red flag for me before she even got to the point to be entitled to your money for her children. Ridiculous. Then the fact she doesn’t even try to interact with his daughter but expect him to play daddy to hers smh. Glad he dropped her I could only see her pushing the daughter out of his life if they were to get married.

[@Vipre-]

Why the F are you with a person who you admit "wouldn't take her to get shoes even if I sent her money for them"??????? How spectacular is that kitty that you'd be with someone you know would treat your kid that way? Edit: I think I remember this guy now. Edit 2: Yeah I remember this one. Woman gets the Golden Shovel award for top gold digger of the year.

[@stephjovi]

Story 1 is quite easy. Fiancé not wife so bye. She demands he spends the fake on her kids they're not even married yet they're teens she needs it for her sports. F her bye bye Her Second story even more so. Gold digging B get rid of her. She's not mistreating your daughter yet she's waiting until she's got the ring

[@eph2vv89only1way]

Op may not think the fiance is a gold digger, but I suspect she is

[@sammieg8641]

Why would you be with someone who wouldn’t take your kid to get shoes for school?! Break up dude

[@dharma6481]

Track shoes. NTA. And I don’t understand how you got 5 pairs for $300. My kid was high school and college athlete in track and her shoes were always over $1,000 for the year (10 years ago). Plus, sometimes $100 for special insoles (for each pair of shoes). Please, make sure you are buying quality shoes! Your daughter can get serious injuries from low quality shoes! (Or old shoes, or shoes where fit is slightly off) your girlfriend is unhinged. If her kid was in hockey, wouldn’t she buy him the best skates and pads she could to insure his safety? Just like you insuring your daughters health and safety with proper equipment.

[@coreymartin6486]

The fiancee's excuse not to take OP's daughter shoe shopping made me literally "ha!". Op is being oblivious. He just went shoe shopping and let his daughter pick out the shoes...he wasn't choosing the shoes. Instead of caring too much, the truth is likely that the fiancee doesn't care enough to help out OP's daughter.

[@lisadgingersnaps9843]

Wow, fiance wanted that money

[@sammieg8641]

Umm I didn’t act that way at 16 mom would have slapped me back into her womb if I talked that way

[@eph2vv89only1way]

His job as the man?!?!?! Way to take women back a hundred years

[@dm9078]

OP really missed the point of Slight Citron’s comment

[@wyvern723]

Story 1: that fiance sounds toxic hell. I feel sorry for her daughter. She sounds like the only decent person in that family. Story 2: yeah... I grew up with not tech in the house too. We didn't have a computer until I was seventeen. My mother couldn't even use her email and I regularly had to help her with it when we were still speaking.

[@Vipre-]

I'm similar, though neither items were really a thing then equivalent would've been a pager, we were just poor. We didn't have a house phone for much of my childhood and a portable kerosene heater for winter was a luxury item. A vocational teacher helped me build my first computer out of scrap parts when I was 18. The hard drives literally came out of a garbage can.

[@stellamccoy5259]

S1. NTA. This is your daughter OP and you bought her shoes for her sports. You do not owe your fiancées children shoes. Why are you with this woman?

[@nightdweller6446]

That fiance is needing anger management classes. Why would OP keep exposing his daughter to this grasping woman? She's a gold digger and manipulating at that

[@demontoaster5670]

20:14 The reality is the smart phone is what made this once sweet little girl turn into a little bear. Children do NOT NEED CELLPHONES!!!

[@DisneyChar]

S2 nta, could have been done a lot softer, but shes old enough not to act like such a pos.

[@aduckofsomesort]

It’s not like theater kids that were raised together. Because in that instance you would need to look at things differently. But OP is not a stand in for a parent for them. And the situation in which his daughter God things were not just mindless gifts, sports equipment for a sport she is serious about and replacing a well-maintained device that broke out of nowhere isn’t just random favoritism.

[@amemooress6291]

😂 This lady really lecturing him on how it's a man's duty to financially provide and meanwhile she ignores the fact that, using the same logic, it's the woman's job to cook and clean.

[@elsaflood6393]

S1. Money is not an issue to you Op. But it obviously is an issue to your fiance. It is clear you are not compatible. So why are you marrying her?

[@maryjohnson9474]

Both women are gold diggers hope op#1 wakes up and dumps his gold digger before he loses his daughter op#2 opened his eyes in time to dodge a bullet

[@GBunnyG]

Nope no nope nope.

[@ajzephyros7454]

At least you waited until late November before Christmas background

[@marchyatt9158]

I buy 5 pairs at a time every two years. Wear a different pair every week day

[@dorianleakey]

That last story doesn't add up.

[@wplains]

When will people acknowledge blood kids are much more important than step kids? I’m OP’s case, he’s not even married to this whining gold digger and she’s already making demands.

[@JK-sh8rc]

OP is 30 and has a 14 year old daughter??? Yikes

[@Vipre-]

Yep, teens have sex, who knew. Great for him that he was able to still manage to build up enough to attract a gold digger.

[@wimsylogic65]

Disagree with that final comment in the last story. It's not because the parents are hung up on technology. So what if that is the current way that The generations are socializing now. Does not mean it's a good thing. Look at all these people and kids addicted to their phones. Don't know how to live actual lives. Parents who choose to limit their kids on this, It's not being hung up On current technology.

[@emtims1670]

I haven't finished the video, but I'm getting strong gold-digger vibes. I'm a woman if anyone was wondering. Also, I think that op should really talk to his daughter because I have a feeling the stepmother might be mistreating her.

[@daveo1808]

Dude is 30 and is making money yet for some reason he is with a 38 year old woman who has 3 kids from other men... Dude, leave her lol she doesn't even like your daughter so it's not even like that is a selling point to dating this person

[@nothereyetlost]

14:21 long true. THIS is a lie. That man LIED. This woman was very nurturing to the daughter. The CLUE is when she hit her shoes, she went to the fiancée to HAPPILY talk about it. That WILL NEVER have happened if there was no relationship.

[@Rhaenarys]

Whether people see it as the "right thing to say" or not, her excuse is actually legit. Shes been going to therapy for yrs and is on meds...as someone with autism and adhd, this is absolutely why i wont do certain things. Ive had yrs of trauma build up from not completing tasks properly and those asking the tasks becoming irate because i didnt do it right. This includes getting simple things off a grocery list. Its not like im trying to get it wrong. I legit get it wrong and then the anxiety build up becomes a problem for me now, even if the person is completely understanding, as ive been undiagnosed most of life. Something like special shoes for running? F that! No way in heII im taking a chance on screwing that one up. They do need to get couples therapy. And there may be worse. I only stopped after that comment talking about her knowing the right things to say, as an insult. But even if it does, or doesnt get worse, i think everyone should have to take a class on mental health and the struggles those with disorders or diseases, or whatever you want to refer to it as, have to deal with on the daily, and throughout their lives. Itll leave a lot more people who are compassionate and understanding. And again...this is just about her views of not wanting to mess up a big purchase shes not familiar with.

[@latoshabullock4723]

What's that smell, in story one man it smells like simp. Op please stop spraying yourself with that simp colognes smh just leave the itchand stop acting like one.

[@telinhajp]

おはよ〜、Ｍａｒｋｅｅ！！ ❤️🤗

[@ty.365]

Story 1 OP is TA. I will never understand men who are with women that don't like their kids. "They just don't talk to each other, I told my daughter to tell me if she mistreats her" uhm she is mistreating her. Have you ever thought about how uncomfortable it is to live with someone who can't hold a simple conversation with you or do anything nice for you.

[@bookmice5323]

Hi all!

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Story 1 is either completely fake or the OP is leaving out a lot of other important things. The reason I believe it is fake is because everything just happened so "fast" and the OP did have some contradicting statements between his story, his comments to others (this is when you usually find out the OP is lying or a story is fake), and the update. Are we to believe that a few comments from Reddit and a couple of hours of an argument, made him disregard what seems to be 2 years of rose-colored glasses he had on with his fiance??? REALLY??? Rational people don't think like that, and someone like him doesn't make rash decisions based on what he has told us about himself, his fiance, and his relationship. THE JURY IS IN AND THEY SAY THIS STORY IS 100% CAP AND FAKE.

[@WyntheRogue]

He probably had some doubts from the get go and wanted to confirm his potential suspicions, we as humans are weird and don't have the same thought process on some subject matters, sometimes these stories CAN happen and aren't always the fake story skeptics like to perceive them to be. [ it's AITA, Not My Story Animated afterall]

[@Vipre-]

People don't usually go to reddit right off. By the time they do it's usually clear it's the breaking point in a long list of issues. To use your example, his rose-colored glasses cracked after the shoes argument, spurred him to ask if he was now actually seeing what he thought he was seeing, and the "few comments from Reddit" along with her reactions helped shake the pieces out of the frames.

[@lifewithlee6298]

Story 2 😅 😂 ha ha I wonder why the sister wanted op to move out ?

[@wmdkitty]

Team Fiancee. Daughter doesn't need five pairs of running shoes, she needs one (maybe 2) pairs of ~$20 Nikes, they'll last her the whole year. OP is full of crap justifying this.

[@KCohere33]

Why? He has the money so he can spend as much on shoes as he wants.

[@mariateresamondragon5850]

Nikes for $20? Good luck with that.