I Refuse To Be In The Same Room As My Brother-In-Law After What I Found r/Relationships

[@fangchick93]

My blood froze when I read the automatic responses. They're straight out of the "my partner is abusing me and I'm saying this because I fear their retribution" playbook. Horrified that op was hospitalized after his ex "punished" him, though that clearly gave him an opportunity to escape, and I'm so glad he got away. If by some chance he reads this, infinite hugs to you, Op

[@agentzapdos4960]

He went silent after the update saying he was going to go get his stuff back while the abuser was at work. I doubt OP or the friend he brought for "protection" are still alive.

[@Rose-yt5hi]

Yeah. That first update was suuuuuuper creepy. Poor OP.

[@fangchick93]

@@agentzapdos4960 I desperately hope that didn't happen and they're just focusing on their safety and health

[@eightbitbrony]

@@agentzapdos4960 there was an update like, a day ago. he got out of there and a couple folks helped him get his stuff

[@susankaempfer8427]

I’m still so so worried about this kid. 😳☹️

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: NTA. OP’s ex ‘punished’ him. Op had to go to the hospital and get surgery. Op needs to go to the police, he was groomed!

[@KadeStringer2.0]

He wasn’t groomed

[@kaykay8855]

@@KadeStringer2.0op was 17 and his abuser is 32. He was groomed. His abuser met op when he was barely legal and groomed him to think that his and his brother’s behavior was normal.

[@juliusr9267]

​@@KadeStringer2.0He was. OP was 17 and his abuser was 30+. The only reason you'd have to believe that this isn't grooming is if you're a nonce yourself

[@katphish30]

I don't think he can take legal action over being groomed (he was, I just don't think he can prove it in court), but he should go to the police over being beaten up.

[@dylanadavis2118]

​@@KadeStringer2.0op was 100% groomed. He was 100% abused. I was horrified listening to his original post and especially the comments. A 32 man has no business with a 17 year old.

[@embluvya]

Story 1: "I know none of this could be called inappropriate--" WHAT? NO. There is no innocent explanation for pulling your brother's partner into your lap or hugging them from behind. It is 100% inappropriate. You're not wrong to be uncomfortable! What he's doing is sexual! This story is so sad.

[@DominosAndHearts]

This exactly

[@pippo17173]

You can tell he was groom from the start.

[@lynnw7155]

Really! Agreed!! In what world is grabbing, pulling OP onto his lap, playing with his hair. etc. NOT inappropriate?

[@johnbradbury8610]

I hope this is fake because OP is slasher movie stupid if he doesn't leave immediately. This is way bigger than reddit.

[@mbyerly9680]

Change the gender and hell no.

[@MamieBabi]

Well, that update was unfortunately unsurprisingly after his responses to the comments. It was so obvious he was getting abused. Glad he got away.

[@agentzapdos4960]

There haven't been any updates after he said he was going to go get his belongings while the ex was at work. I guarantee both OP and his friend are dead, murdered by the abuser and his brother.

[@Davtwan]

Or he’s staying down low for now. We’ll never know for sure until probably years later.

[@tideio]

@@agentzapdos4960no I read the post on Reddit he’s alive and age his uni friend helped him get out, apparently the ex saw him leaving with his friends but the friends stepped in and helped him fend off the ex

[@HawthorneVampire]

@@agentzapdos4960 the last post, according to Reddit, was 1 day ago

[@raptoress6131]

Story 2: These commenters are so out of line. She abandoned her child for three years. She owes three years of child support, and she should not be immediately allowed to see the daughter. He has the right to be angry, and he doesn't need to be nice or kind to her after what she did. He should not trust her either.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Thank you, Op is a huge dumbass. He has talked to her twice and he believes her story with no proof. Op hasn't even brought up child support, he never contacted a lawyer and he's going to let her walk back into the daughter's life like nothing happened because her therapist said she's okay. I feel sorry for the little girl she has a garbage mom.

[@ronhall5395]

While the facts are obvious, the main point here is to see if GF is fit to meet the daughter. Once all these issues are taken care of then start talking about her needing to catch up on child support and future meetings with daughter. I figured it was PPD. The "stress" of the lockdown seems like a joke to me. I loved it. Being home, not having to face idiots everyday. I found it very relaxing. I guess we are all different..

[@azadalamiq]

@@ronhall5395 introverts has no issues in lockdown. bot extroverts and new parents had a ton of issues. babies and elderly were more likely able to get it and die then most. so that limits a lot of stuff... and being locked up in a house with a crying unstimulated baby by yourself can really mess you up.

[@xXTooDeliciousXx]

I know for a fact if the genders were reversed, the guy would torn apart. Hypocrite on Reddit

[@samx36]

A folder??? NOPE. Exit plan ASAP. Doesnt matter that its man to man, I hope OP makes plans to get away, partner is not a safe person either

[@Mia-dt3gl]

Oh my God, OP’s ex put him in the frickin’ hospital?! Why wasn’t the police called?! I hope OP stays safe

[@agentzapdos4960]

The police typically don't do anything about domestic abuse. When it's a same-sex relationship the cops will even come out in support of the abuse.

[@starbird3939]

Because they are gay men. The cops do jack and shit on abuse, especially male abuse, especially abuse on queer folks.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

That's what leads me to believe this story is probably not real. There are some really stupid people on Reddit who need to get real hobbies because they can post the most crazy things on Reddit. I grew up as the only male in my family, I was an oops baby and I have 8 older sisters. They basically raised me and taught me to be, in their eyes, the "perfect man" for a woman. I was raised to be a "man's man" who was masculine and tough yet still empathetic and giving who treats a woman how she should be treated without allowing them to play the games some women play and not allow myself to become subservient to them. With all of that, they also taught me that even the strongest man (or woman) that treats their partner poorly, STILL HAS TO SLEEP some time LOL. People say a Colt .45 is the "great equalizer" but I say, several highly motivated and p*ssed-off sisters can be just as successful of an equalizer depending on the situation LOL. Then again, if you ask my sisters, they say having a badazz MMA Trained younger brother who is literally a "mutant" in the family at 6'7" 265 lbs who can be very overly protective of my sisters, nieces, nephews, and even brothers-in-law is a great equalizer as well LOL. NOBODY should be exposed to "unwanted touching" or poor or violent treatment no matter their sex or lifestyle choices. But if they are, they need to get the assistance needed to stop it, whether that is the police, some friends, or 8 badazz older sisters LOL.

[@asherikamichaela8425]

​@thomasjoseph5876 I have a terrible feeling that it is indeed very, disturbingly real. My youngest sister was in a string of abusive relationships like this, so I recognize the signs. She was conditioned for the longest time to give no thought to her own wants or needs, to just do whatever her "partner" at the time wanted, even if it put her in danger. Long story, but she's thankfully out of that now.

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

They’re in an another country and perhaps homosexuality is not accepted or even legal.

[@ZombieSazza]

God it breaks my heart how OP was clearly being abused and was expected to be okay with that abuse, to the point he apologised for asking the internet for help. He was then punished in such a manner that he not only required hospitalisation and surgery, but he had to BEG to even be “allowed” to go to hospital. I am very glad he’s free now, OP has no idea how close he was to dying to his ex.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Was that really him asking for the apology or the abusive partner who found the Reddit post??? I always doubt stories such as this on Reddit. I have seen too many of them that turned out to be fake. I talked to a moderator on a sub-Reddit a few times and she told me half the posts on their sub-Reddit usually are removed by the moderators or the original poster and questions are asked and things don't "add up".

[@Davtwan]

“If my partner agrees with [keeping photos he takes on his brother’s laptop], I can’t deny him.” Yikes on trikes. That ridiculous power dynamic.

[@RequiemPoete]

Nope, that just screams: "My abuser is standing over my shoulder as I type this."

[@OpticalArxenal]

Story1; That gives me Susan Powell vibes, do not ignore, don't even walk, run. Leave and quickly. After update; Yep, RUN.

[@AusExplorer]

S2: never get back with an ex, particularly one that leaves you with no warning while also abandoning their child.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Oh my God, I remember reading this post the other day and how chilling it kept going. The further it went the more horrifying it became, especially when OP started to downplay what was going on and insisting everything was fine. I’m glad he managed to get out of that situation and I hope he can remain safe.

[@catsncrows]

I feel like I just listened to a horror story😬 not that I think it's just a story. I've been in that pretend everything is okay or else situation

[@bantubrat343]

Fr

[@Allenluvable]

Story 1 was chilling. I immediately assumed brother and ex were planning something when the ex showed zero concern. And the second we got to his automatic responses, I knew the post had been found by his abuser, and he was in serious trouble. I hope we get an update someday, just to he sure he's okay.

[@caoimhed6801]

My heart breaks for OP in the first story,so happy they got out of that situation

[@paulineisme]

I came to say this as I'm only a few seconds in and I read the comments with all the details of the disgusting behaviour taking place and my god, OP needs someone to help him out of this mess

[@dianabialaskahansen2972]

Story 1: Didn't know there was such an age gap, didn't read it from first post. But glad OP got out. Definitely started to worry when OPs comment posts started to come in and he said he overreacted and everything was fine.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 2 I heard this one before. I say sue her for abandonment and file for child support.

[@KadeStringer2.0]

You can’t sue for abandonment

[@WhitneyDahlin]

​@@KadeStringer2.0‼️wrong you can sue for basically anything especially civilly. The courts will award him pain and suffering and three years worth of child support. I think we should start suing the pants off of parents who abandon their children. I think they deserve it maybe they'll think twice before doing it again. Also I hate how reddit was telling him to be compassionate to this literal monster. I know it isn't best for the daughter to have a mother in their life who is going to ghost her for YEARS at the time. It's best for the daughter to have no mother or a mother who is there and supportive. Either one is far better than one who is constantly ghosting and in and out of the child's life.

[@juanhaines7295]

@WhitneyDahlin nice to hear from you again. Also thanks for explaining it to this guy.

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@WhitneyDahlin This guys a troll, he can sure as hell get child support which Op hasn't even mentioned, he just let off the hook.

[@juanhaines7295]

@johnbradbury8610 yeah the op is pathetic. That he's so quick to forgive and forget.

[@PaintSplashProductions]

Story 1 was actually terrifying, I kept shouting at my phone with every response OP was making. He was being brainwashed and abused so bad, I hope he gets far away and never goes near that monster or his brother again or the ex's threats may become true 😨

[@thomasjoseph5876]

That's what makes me think this is a fake story. Plus the account deletion as well. Either/Or the story/update is probably fake.

[@fatcatlat5312]

@@thomasjoseph5876Do you not have a life but to troll in comment section for months on end?

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@fatcatlat5312 Prove me wrong then. Don't you have a life instead of reading all the comments on videos for months on end???

[@RayvenLunaNite]

Story 1: if you're uncomfortable with it, ONLY YOU can say yes. OPs ex is an abuser a harassing enabler. My heart breaks for OP.. Especially given OP was UNDERAGE when they met. Did that get missed by everyone? An abuser and a p***. I desperately wish OP is safe. Story 2: the only time I got back with an ex was because he was genuinely a good guy, and I was the one who messed up. He took me back and our 10th anniversary is October 4th. I'm glad and grateful we tried again. We have a beautiful family. I've worked extremely hard to fix and keep his trust.

[@KE-hr4sb]

SI: "He'll pull me to his side or start playing with my hair, pull me into his lap or put his arms around me, make comments about how I look. I know that's not a big deal or inappropriate but it makes me uncomfortable." 1) Touching you like that is how a partner touches their SO. You don't just randomly walk up behind a person on the street and put your arms around them, do you? Or play with a friend's hair? They are personal touches, and he is doing it without your consent. 2) It sure as hell is a big deal, *and* inappropriate. 3) The fact that it makes you uncomfortable, makes it harassment and it needs to stop now. Find your voice. Tell him you don't allow anyone but your partner to touch you like that, and his unsolicited comments about your appearance are making you uncomfortable. Red flag that you told your bf and he downplayed it. If it makes you uncomfortable, *it needs to stop,* whether you're "overreacting" or not. As for the pictures, take proof and stay away from the brother. Straight, my ass. As for your bf: RUN. "Your brother is stalking, harassing, sexualizing, and taking pictures of me changing without my consent" is ABSOLUTELY a legitimate reason not to want him around (and reason enough to get the cops involved), and it is not "being childish," either! "You shouldn't go through other people's stuff"? That's his excuse? It had your freaking NAME on it! "He's going to expect an apology." Um, for what? He owes YOU one for dismissing your feelings, not supporting, defending, or protecting you from his creep of a brother (my guess is he's in on it and plans to share with dear brother, something along those lines). It worries me though that you feel that way, makes me wonder how much he's gaslighted and controlled you in the past. I don't think you're safe with him, and I think you should break up. "I feel sick just thinking about it." This is your gut trying to warn you. Listen to it. Mine has literally saved my life. After edit: Honey. Your bf is lying and gaslighting you. He did not take those pictures and then put them on his *brother's laptop, for his brother to see.* He came up with a cover story after he had some time. "If my partner agrees his brother can have the pictures, it's not my place to deny him." Oh, sweet child. You are being abused and controlled so tightly that you are used to it and can't see it. Those are pictures of YOU in stages of undress. NO ONE else has a right to them without your consent, not your bf, not your BIL, and it IS your place. I can see this story is going to devolve and make me progressively angrier, so I'll just say I hope one day your blinders are removed and you can see clearly what is going on, and take your power back and leave the craptastic duo. Whoa whoa whoa ages! You were 17, your "bf" 32, and the "straight brother" 29?! You were groomed and abused. Yikes on a bike this story went from pissing me off to terrifying. I hope you're safe, OP. S2: Nope. "Our daughter's wellbeing is what matters." As your ex said herself, your daughter is doing well. And your ex is now a stranger to your daughter, who was only a few months old when she left! She abandoned you and your daughter. She doesn't get to waltz back in when the hard work is done. If she wants visitation, first off, she needs to prove that she's sticking around before she even sees your daughter, because your daughter is old enough this time to remember, and you don't want her to bond with "mommy" only for "mommy" to get overwhelmed and ghost again. After some time she can earn supervised visits, (you need to get full custody ASAP) but she needs to pay back child support for the three years she missed, and child support going forward. After meeting: Still a nope from me. She wanted to focus on herself and get therapy? Cool. She should have 1) *told you that,* 2) told you about her PPD diagnosis, and 3) still visited your daughter occasionally even if you had full custody and responsibility!

[@shadowkissed2370]

The replies from op had me shaking. I could see it was an attempt at self-preservation, trying to appease an abuser. I had been there so many times with my ex-husband before I escaped.

[@Chantal_P-v4x]

Story 1 - oh gosh! This is terrifying. The edits gave me chills, and the update (though somewhat unsurprising by that point) was utterly shocking. I wouldn't usually say this, because it can so easily sound like a dramatic over-reaction. But I'm glad OP decided to get out. Because he literally could have been dead! Abuse does turn deadly, and sharing about someone 'punished' to the point of ending up in the hospital, easily sounds like it was heading down that road. I hope beyond hope he's safe now and stays far away from both of those disgusting, dangerous men. Also, the police obviously need to be involved. this is beyond restraining order territory.

[@catherinecox573]

Holllly crap, they had OP so brainwashed Poor guy, I really hope he'll be ok 😢

[@agentzapdos4960]

The good news is that he's not suffering anymore. The bad news is that the reason he's not suffering anymore is because his ex killed him and the friend he brought for "protection".

[@tedizursa1277]

@@agentzapdos4960 Woah wait, really? Where's that?

[@agentzapdos4960]

@@tedizursa1277 His Reddit account went silent, apparently. So it's a logical conclusion...

[@toriibarlow]

I remember the storey of the mom dissappearing but hadn't read all the extra. I would've filed for soul custody once the kid was 2 for sure

[@toriibarlow]

Partially to give the other parent some time but also where I live you have to wait so long to file based on abandonment.

[@imajinallthepurple]

Story 1: I heard no mention of restraining orders but I really hope OP gets one against both brothers. His ex doesn't sound like the type to let go easily. I'm genuinely worried for his life. 😟

[@niyablake]

They may not be in a country were this is a enough to get one

[@imajinallthepurple]

@@niyablake He was attacked to the point of hospitalisation and threatened on his life so I really hope it's enough but unfortunately you're right that it might not be. I hope he at least tries though.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

​@@imajinallthepurple Especially since the boyfriend knew about the post. I'm so worried about the OP. He posted his plans before he got away. I won't be able to relax until I hear an update about him living comfortably away from his abusive ex.

[@agentzapdos4960]

@@untitled-gv3qp There is no update. The account has been completely silent since he posted that he was going to go get his stuff back. OP and the friend he brought for "protection" are both no longer alive.

[@RequiemPoete]

​@@agentzapdos4960I'm liking your comment only because it's most likely accurate, and not that I like it. Honestly I hate the idea so much I want to just dislike it. :(

[@YellaBellaReno]

I’m very familiar with what domestic abuse looks in lesbian relationships, but I think this is the first time I’ve seen a story about what it looks like in a consensual gay relationship. Eye opening stuff.

[@juliearmfield2634]

I think there are a lot more men abuse than that are reported, men are conditioned that they are supposed to be tough and not cry and just take it. It's really sad I got three sons and I would be livid if someone was doing that to them.

[@immasnakeee6460]

There’s a lot of grooming of young boys in the lgbtq community. It’s really damn awful

[@juliearmfield2634]

@@immasnakeee6460 it is just heartbreaking and beyond disgusting people that do that.

[@catherinecox573]

​@@juliearmfield2634oh excellent point. I wouldn't be surprised if abuse rates are more equal across relationships and the skew we see is maybe partially due to likelihood of reporting. This situation was terrifying, and it breaks my heart thinking of people going through what OP did and not seeking help :(

[@juliusr9267]

​@@immasnakeee6460Most grooming of children is done by men. Straight, gay, bi, religious or non religious is irrelevant... but men are almost always the common denominator

[@HawthorneVampire]

Story 1 UPDATE: Now EX BF isn’t much for social media and didn’t know that the first post would stay after deleting the account. OP went to get his things from the house with some friends. EX BF came home early and tried to stop OP from leaving, OP’s friends kept him away. He’s staying with those friends for now. There’s also a comment that OP won’t go to the police because he doesn’t believe they will help him. At the hospital, EX told doctors OP was in an accident and OP didn’t correct him. While getting his things, Friend punched EX in the face.

[@amandab8433]

That's, aside from the fist to the ex's face, really sad 😢. I hope Op is doing well now

[@ObsidianFaux]

“ be kind and compassionate you don’t know what she’s been through 🥺” The beach left

[@VidWatcher01]

Story 1: OP, leave your partner. He's an enabler.

[@michal31131]

That escalated quickly

[@vivdiva]

#2, RUN. I get so irritated when people insist the child will benefit from a trash parent just because they are biologically related! Move on! Find a better mother figure!

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

When OP was going on about how his boyfriend was in the right, I was getting serious "hostage situation" vibes from his responses. Looks like that's pretty much exactly what it was.

[@hangsthemighty912]

Omg that first story was terrifying. That poor guy at least he is safe away from those creeps.

[@SkyEcho751]

The way OP was commenting sounds like a kidnapped person. "There is nothing wrong, don't go looking for me".

[@aconvowithcrissee222]

"if he wants pictures of ME its mot my place to deny it" oh my god that definitely scared me its so scary to see ppl who are very clearly being so manipulative to the point where they sound like a robot

[@vlionheart]

Oh god, story 1 is absolutely terrifying. I hope OP is okay.

[@Tokuijin]

Story 1) NTA. I sincerely hope Op got very far from his ex. 🥺

[@starbird3939]

Story 1 Read this and it is heartbreaking. The dude GROOMED this poor boy and then had him be his and the brother’s sex slave. This is such a sad thing that sometimes occurs in the LGBTQA community-young queers getting booted out, and they are preyed about by traffickers and scum bags. The community-as a whole-are not groomers and I will never welcome any groomers into the community.

[@asherikamichaela8425]

Holy shit, that first story went from bad to worse in exponential fashion. 😱😱😱😱 I really hope OP is doing well now!

[@league-of-shadows]

The first story was terrifying. I pray OP is safe some where and the ex and brother are in jail.

[@Tijggie82]

Thank god! After he said he was wrong and his partner explained everything, it really did feel like his partner was behind him with a knife...

[@Qyshawn]

Story 1 (pre-update): WTF???? THIS IS THE CLEAREST NTA EVER (Post update): HUH?!

[@naptime1900]

Take the hospital report to the police and report them. Get their names in the system for the next person they try this on. They used to call these type of people dirty old men and stay away from them.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

I bet they aren’t actual brothers unless they are grooming young boys together then sex trafficking them

[@jrod1591]

“Well he ain’t THAT STRIAGHT!” (Tiger king voice)

[@thesamuraiman]

Hold up, their ages were 17, 32, and 29? OP said "together for 8 years." Since they were 9 and 23? 😐😐😐😐

[@emilybarclay8831]

And he’s known them for longer. Likely since he was in PRESCHOOL and they were post-college age

[@rebel1612]

Woah! How disgusting

[@RequiemPoete]

Something must be off about the ages. Op can't be 17 if he's going to university.

[@emilybarclay8831]

@@RequiemPoete he can. People skip years all the time.

[@rebel1612]

@@RequiemPoete i had a classmate that was 17 and in college/uni

[@yurilookingforhisvictor7674]

*Wow, Story 1 had me getting teary-eyed for OP*

[@ComaLies225]

Op in story 1: GET THE POLICE INVOLVED

[@robertx8020]

Where he lives the police might be useless

[@agentzapdos4960]

@@robertx8020 Or worse, they might think gay men are subhuman and therefore deserve to be abused. Remember, most cops are not only conservative Christians, they're traditional "man's men".

[@BoxOKittens]

Dang that was heartbreaking. Always so sad to hear of a grooming/abuse story, but at least this one has a good ending.

[@JRMAV1]

Letting a parent that abandons their child back in isn’t doing “what’s best” for the child.

[@Bala_Niranna]

I'm, so scared of what the "punishment" might've been

[@Mr.andMrs.Smith_0420]

"I'm going to suggest that you give her a safe space to talk about what happened and that you mostly listen with compassion and love", and this is why reddit makes me want to vomit 🤮

[@AlexxeMJFAN]

OP from story 1 need to call the police AND get out of his relationship with this abusive guy.. I'm so dang scared about this situation and how his partner is towards him.. I'm worried for OP...

[@nightdweller6446]

S1. Omd, OP is so gaslighted. He needs to step out of the fog and really rethink the relationship. The update: holy crap, OP got punished? I'm terrified he'll end up in a bad way. Hope he's now living a better life

[@thesamuraiman]

>"Nothing inappropriate" >"pulls me into his lap" 😂 That seems a little far for your brother's spouse.

[@devchekhov7512]

Omg story 1 was terrifying.

[@misskillercat8482]

Op also should report his ex for domestic violence.

[@Frazzled_Chameleon]

Story 2: The thing with a runner is that they'll likely pull the same shit again when life becomes too hard once more. OP and his daughter will be extra devastated that second time.

[@cornbread12987]

That was terrifying

[@TraceyBoyland]

Are they grooming OP for a situation?

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Yep. To become a submissive partner. Considering that his ex-partner is an abuser and enabling his creepy brother's antics. 🤢

[@xelectrix]

​@user-fg4tn8ot6b and the age gap reveal in the update! Omg 🤢

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Sex trafficking

[@fleurpouvior2967]

Definitly red flags. A crush is one thing, but it's going into very concerning territory. Always trust your gut, if someone gives you the ick, pay attention to that. Edit: eesh, not even sure where to start unloading that. It is really hard to recognize when you're in a bad situation. It should be obvious, but it often happens slow, and just feels normal. Not sure if the story is real, but if so, I hope op gets therapy, stays away, and stays safe. Story 2, might be some other things going on. Like post partum.

[@ambermcglone4811]

I hope he has full custody bc in all reality the mom can go pick up the daughter from preschool and take her to another state ir anywhere and the dad can do NOTHING! Protect yourself OP !

[@pixiechick05171971]

First story: I hope and pray that OP told the doctors what happened and i hope someone reports the ex to the police.

[@cindykq8086]

Re the mother who abandoned her baby: the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. The clue to her ongoing pathological selfishness is when she said she abandoned her baby to "focus on myself." She -- and not the baby -- is still the focus of her life. That poor child doesn't need the abandonment issues this egg donor will give her.

[@deaths_enigma]

"She has to know there is a path forward" Fucking excuse me? How many reddit stories have we seen where dads straight up abandon their families and everyone shouts at the OP not to trust, get a lawyer etc etc when they come back But because the roles are reversed it's suddenly "OH BE COMPASSIONATE AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND HER SHE NEEDS TIME UWU" Like!? No! Fuck no! She doesn't get to just come back in like nothing happened and be treated like a victim when she's the one who broke things for OP and their daughter Don't get it twisted, I'm biologically female, I am here for equality... and that's why I'm saying this We can't condemn negligent dads and then turn a blind eye to negligent moms

[@warpthumr47]

I'm a 60-year-old retired RN & mother of 4. I've never "fallen" pregnant & laugh my head off every time I hear it. Like, oopsies, how did this happen? 😂😂😂😂

[@maurer3d]

Story 1 (before update): NTA, well your SO's brother is not straight, he is at minimum bi and has been obsessed and stalking you for at least a while. Story 1 (OP's comments and responses): OP get out of that relationship now, your BF is a manipulative toolbag and his brother is a creep. Story 1 (update): WOW, that escalated, glad OP realized the relationship was unhealthy and escaped, hopefully he stays safe and gets a protective order.

[@shebakoby]

whoa, Story 1: OP's ex sounds like a legit Psychopath and abusive as well. Partners DO NOT "punish" each other! This is not a thing! It's ABUSE!

[@TraceyBoyland]

Pulling you in his lap is inappropriate

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Don’t bring daughter to the first meeting and drag her arse to court. She could kidnap Ops daughter and never come back

[@littlegreycat]

5:59 this is so sad. This poor guy is brainwashed.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "you should know better than to snoop" your brother should know better than to stalk and harass but you aren't ready for that conversation yet.

[@alyzu4755]

Story 1: OMG, poor OP! I pray he presses charges and stays safe.p Ex BF and his brother are sick and dangerous. 😞

[@sequoyasierra5671]

SECOND STORY While the ex's therapist sounds like she is one of the good ones, OP should get his own therapist. This therapist will always have her original patient's best interest at heart which may not be in the best interest of OP and his daughter. Unconscious bias towards the ex is the potential problem here

[@paperkay]

"He touched my hair and pulls me into his lap, but that's totally normal behavior for adult men, so I didn't think anything of it. My brother thinks I should be flattered for being stalked, though. That's supposed to be normal, too." I just got back from a karate class with my husband and his workmate, who is also our instructor... I cannot, in 20 million years imagine a scenario in which any of these men would touch one another's hair or pull one another into their laps. I think either would rather die.

[@annahawthorne4904]

bloody hell i hope to god that he reports gets therapy passes uni moves away and can slowly build his life toghether its going to take a very long time as hes been victimised and mentally abused to the point that hes just acepts things i wish him a speedy recovery but that will take time wish you all the best with passing uni and your healing process

[@dessnatazha]

I was NOT ready

[@bonnieschwegerl6536]

He punished you! What the ever loving hell. Hope you heal and be safe.

[@InvasionAnimation]

story 1 obviously his hubby found the account and killed op.

[@michal31131]

Hubby?!?! OP is 17!

[@run4everon]

Story 1: have not finished listening. As a female I’m horrified. Ewwwww! If my BIL’s did this my hubby would have a conniption.

[@angelicakaufman7183]

How is pulling somebody else's significant other into your lap not inappropriate

[@annem7806]

express your boundaries. Creepy creeper. Copy, then delete the contents, leave the empty file. Move. You were NOT in public, but in the privacy of your home, they were not legal to take. Press charges, you have the receipts. 2) already heard this one...

[@JRMAV1]

S2 OP is still a sucker for not going after the ex for child support or making sure he has full custody.

[@videofan1010]

His ex "punished" him???

[@robertx8020]

AKA beating him up but he is alive so it is 'ok' /s

[@agentzapdos4960]

@@robertx8020 I don't think he's alive anymore after he went to retrieve his belongings when he thought his ex was at work. The ex saw the Reddit post and waited at home. OP and the friend he brought for "protection" are dead.

[@alicewilloughby4318]

5:34 - Huh??? "If my partner says his brother can have those pictures" (OF OP!!! TAKEN WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEDGE OR CONSENT!!!) then it's not my place to deny him." I've never heard anything so beaten down and submissive! 6:24 - Okay, so now we're at the point where OP's "partner" forces him to delete his account and takes it on himself to *punish* him. Then, when OP was wither sick or injured (due to the "punishment"?), he had to BEG his so-called partner to take him to the hospital! This relationship is sounding more abusive by the minute!

[@lalalachris]

S2: the OP is ignoring the legal advise and that is so dangerous. Courts often favor mothers, but this mother abandoned the child. OP has her contact info now and it’s time to have the court establish who gets the child before she gets the lenience of “oh but mom is trying to be mom so we’ll give baby 50/50 or full custody” Child support is also something that can help in day to day or it can be set aside for baby’s future

[@deirdremcloughlin1380]

The story about the abusive boyfriend is terrifying. OP could have been a statistic. l truly hope he is safe now. Please take care❤

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Ex runaway GF is nutso if she wants a second chance. No way in hell she will run away with daughter and she should be charged with child abandonment

[@Elizabeth-ud8su]

If dude was considering putting the baby up for adoption should make him more compassionate to the mother. 3 years is a long time but I imagine it's difficult

[@denises3630]

Single dad 🥲 man was ghosted with his newborn and making it work the best he can. Yes it is a struggle and he had moments where he wanted to give up, thought of adoption!! but that love... He truly loves his baby girl and it shows! Hopefully his ex is better now and they can co parent well for the daughter

[@tossedsaladandscrambledeggs52]

Story 1: Lets say OP was a woman and her male partner's brother was doing these exact things to her. Can we say sexual harassment? Yes we can and it wouldn't be questioned by anyone who didn't have their head up their backside. And OP's partner's ridiculous comment that he took some of the pictures just makes the situation worse. He is taking naked pictures and pictures of OP while sleeping (also naked?) without consent AND THEN DISSEMINATING THEM, again without consent. I hope OP get the real picture really soon.

[@RequiemPoete]

No one not called it sexual harassment except the bf.

[@christopherjones8448]

3:59 Who tf randomly types their own name into a search bar on someone else's computer to see if maybe they have pictures of them..? For that matter who goes through every single folder on a borrowed computer to see if they have something dirty? (besides the porn you will definitely find) What a stupid question to even ask the op

[@Songbirdstress]

OP doesn't have a BIL problem, he has a partner problem. Am betting will go downhill fast. Yikes, yup called it.

[@DisneyChar]

S1 nta. If you were like me and deep diving their computer, yes. But you were looking for your work and found someones stalker folder that had your name on it, id run. Update: yikes, time to reconcile and bobbitt the whole family.

[@nataschavanzanen]

Yup, a folder is creepy, even if the pictures are family friendly in nature. Sounds like the partner was in on it and enjoyed their brother being this into OP. As most abusers are possessive and would be jumping up and down insisting OP had no contact with anyone showing the slightest interest.

[@kazzuo32]

#1. Nta why is he agreeing for some estranged person to have your pictures.

[@lalvarez5151]

Story 2- So mom leaves them behind for 3 years abd they want compashion for her? She is a trash human being

[@Waapitii]

I always wonder what these naive paper spine people are like to meet IRL

[@PlasticBluVentRabbit]

Jesus, who needs horror movies with stories like that I’m SO happy OP got away, man, fuck groomers. All of em. Especially when they’re this abusive.

[@TraceyBoyland]

Punished???

[@TheImprovised]

I don't even want to know what was done to him that he needed surgery. Absolutely vile.

[@eph2vv89only1way]

Story : If it makes you uncomfortable it IS inappropriate. Also, the few pictures are inappropriate as well. And your partner is gaslighting you. Op, you are being abused by both of them. And you didn't snoop. You had a legit reason to look for your own files and found the folder by mistake. And you had every right to look in a folder with your name on it.

[@toriibarlow]

New Video! Thanks!

[@justiceseeker2nd963]

Who wants to bet that horrid bf got on their account and wrote those dismissive replies on the update