Men's Rights or Just Misogyny?

Today we're looking at the Masculine Revival Instagram account and looking at how a misogynist and fundie content creator is masquerading as just being a men's rights / self-help guru and why this is so dangerous.
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[@crypticcryptid4702]

Honestly I just want men's issues to be able to be talked about without misogeny being in the mix. It's possible to be both pro women and pro men.

[@deeptochatterjee532]

There is a subreddit r/menslib. It's not perfect, but it's something

[@lynmcgrow9246]

61 Australian women were murdered by mnn in 2022 So until mnn stop murdering women that conversation can't be had How about caring about that!!

[@callummay5184]

Lyn there’s no need to dismiss the discussion of men’s issues with whataboutisms. Talking about men’s issues doesn’t take away from the importance of fighting violence. If anything it helps.

[@happymaskedguy1943]

@@lynmcgrow9246Kind of ignoring the fact that the vast majority of victims of male violence are men - 78% of homicides, I believe. Male violence generally is the problem, and it victimises both sexes. As someone who has been attacked, robbed and randomly punched several times in his life, I can promise you that being a man is far too often more dangerous than being a woman.

[@happymaskedguy1943]

@@lynmcgrow9246I’ve also been punched and attacked by women (ex taxi driver) including an ex partner. Violence is not exclusive to men.

[@jonathancangelosi2439]

I always laugh when self-proclaimed “alpha males” call me soft, as if it’s supposed to be insulting. It’s actually pretty awesome to be a comforting presence for other people. They act like it’s off-putting to women, but in my experience it’s really not, whether you’re trying to date someone or just be friends. Just don’t be a simp, and you’re good.

[@ivagreen11]

Respect For You

[@synestia4005]

Haha. True. And the best is that women like it. They like men that can show their "feminine" side. I wrote "feminine" in quotes, because it's not exclusive to the nature of a woman, men (and even some women) just got teached to supress it and some men now believe that it's making them less of a man, which is actually very sad.

[@amberinthemist7912]

Exactly, compassion and kindness are not weaknesses.

[@Nerobyrne]

"Oh don't worry I've got hard parts too."

[@Nylak-Otter]

Yep. As a woman, I see it like having my pit bulls; they're sweet, empathetic, loyal, and very receptive, but they're still reliable and strong enough to build your own self-confidence when they're around you. They're also highly intelligent, have restraint, and are easily trained to perform complex tasks when encouraged with praise and food, like most ideal partners. 😂

[@kbennett2587]

Hate being masked in a half turth is more dangerous than a full lie. Great video, it's sad the length people will go to veil their hate.

[@hexonyou]

exactly, and we're seeing an abundance of that right now.

[@FocusedFighter777]

Those guys are waaaay out of touch with reality, they are LEGION. One look a YT and internet in general just shows you how bad it all is. They are regressing so fast and drowning everyone along with it. Men are the ones pushing that constant BS unto other men! Instead of listening to women (and some men) saying how bad it is for EVERYONE. But nooo, men are right and women cant possibly know what they want, cant possibly be right or clever either. Yet we keep rejecting them due to them sticking to this delusional biew of the world.... but then they blame women of course. We tell them "this path is clearer and better, no thorns in the way and we will ALL get along better." But nope, they have to choose the worst path imaginable, and then blame others for it. Men-"logic". They CHOOSE this damaging path. It is a choice! ......

[@whiteninja7556]

Nothing dangerous about it it’s hardly hate speech

[@cockoffgewgle4993]

You just described feminism and all this chick's videos.

[@notthething9531]

@@FocusedFighter777 I sincerely hope you are joking, you have just described almost the complete opposite of reality. Maybe opinions aren’t for you? Try a colouring book instead

[@atanvardecunambiel8917]

I miss when Men's Liberation meant short kings in booty shorts being open about their emotions.

[@Keyndoriel]

It was better times

[@Nerobyrne]

🤮booty shorts🤮 I'm so glad the 80s are over, I'd rather die than go out in public wearing that. The rest I 100% agree with though ^^

[@GayGothPirate]

@@Nerobyrne no one said you specifically have to wear booty shorts

[@adrianghandtchi1562]

@@Nerobyrne wait are you puking because you don’t wanna see yourself in booty shorts or are you puking because of men being in booty shorts? If it’s the latter I think you need to see a doctor because I think your appendix just persistedly bursted

[@Nerobyrne]

@@adrianghandtchi1562 no it's just the thought of me wearing them. But what does this have to do with my appendix? And I don't think something can burst "persistently". That's a thing that can only happen once.

[@fusionspace175]

I was your average clueless guy until a school trip where the girls kind of adopted me, and I learned a lot from talking to them. Basically all the success I've ever had with women, I attribute to being in touch with my feminine side.

[@lynmcgrow9246]

Why do you mnn ALWAYS reduce women down to the size of your dkkkk?

[@SaintxGlobal]

@@lynmcgrow9246 troll

[@lynmcgrow9246]

@@SaintxGlobal Russian bot

[@mothturtle7897]

@@lynmcgrow9246 what are mnn?

[@AdianoTMO69]

"I learned how to treat women right in relationships by just being around them" "UGH why do MEN always have to make it about their DICKS"

[@CalicoBloo]

Loved your point that he doesn't want men to become feminine bc they will get "weaker" and he doesn't want women to become masculine bc they will get "stronger". I didn't really understand why men would get hate for having feminine traits but make sense.

[@synestia4005]

Feminism showed women to accept their masculine traits, it's time that men accept their feminine traits as well. Brendan Shit and Andrew Turd are scammers. It's sad that they can brainwash so many so easily.

[@BossX2243]

Because male traits are necessary for the survival and function of society. If those “manly men” you hate weren’t around, we wouldn’t have construction workers, miners, tradesmen, police officers, etc.

[@ash3972]

@@BossX2243 and women can't be construction workers?

[@ascendednightingale2456]

@@ash3972 Women aren’t the majority of construction workers, but they definitely do exist. I have a female friend who’s a welder. She builds skyscrapers.

[@ash3972]

@@ascendednightingale2456 and? What's your point?

[@PaulFJarnes]

It feels like being an "alpha-masculinist-self-improvement" type is way harder and more painful than just being yourself with every emotion and personality trait that comes with it. Like, do they ever just relax?

[@synestia4005]

Of course not. Relaxing is for women and they are very strong and very manly men. /s They don't realise that they are narrowing down what a man is allowed to be and don't even realise it. It must be very frustrating to supress your true you just to get some appreciation from other alpha-incels.

[@PaulFJarnes]

@@synestia4005 I know right? What a sad existence to lead, like some Junji Ito shit

[@lemsip207]

They never do just like religious people & workaholics. Food & substance addicts push down their emotions with food, drink or drugs. I've been dieting & a lot of things came up that were buried before. The other day I found myself staring into my kitchen cupboards looking for something to eat & realised I was looking for something to eat to suppress unwanted memories, emotions & thoughts bubbling up. I wasn't hungry nor deficient in some nutrient that I needed to consume.

[@Itri_Vega]

@@PaulFJarnes Considering how wholesome Junji Ito is when he isn't drawing horror stuff these types would probably get an aneurysm from how nice he is, lmao.

[@PaulFJarnes]

@@Itri_Vega Oh no I meant like I could imagine a Junji Ito story about the grotesque lifestyle they lead

[@mariaquiet6211]

"Complimentarianism" is the concept that comes to mind. It seems to appeal to people who are scared to death they might exist in a world where their roles aren't set in stone and rigidly dictated to them. They might have to think.

[@Dimetropteryx]

You're definitely onto something. Some people do indeed freak out when they have to face something that isn't set in stone. It certainly happens in other contexts, why not when it comes to gender roles.

[@manderly33]

Two things: As Dan Savage said, “every relationship ends, until one doesn’t.” You’re going to have more relationships that end than last forever, and it should be a normal part of life. Two: I looooove how Brendan snuck in that little “creative side hustle” thing. So he wants women to do all the housework and childcare AND a side job that likely requires a lot of time and effort to make even a little money. Not even pretending he wants to be the sole provider here.

[@narushini704]

Exactly what I thought. Lately seemingly more men openly express their expectation that women should do all the work at home and with care taking alone and earn half the money. I really don't understand those women... as if they weren't better off without those men.

[@16poetisa]

@@narushini704 There was an article a little while ago about women who realized they were in this exact situation and decided that being a single parent in a pandemic was better than being saddled with a useless SO 😬

[@narushini704]

@@16poetisa Thanks, I didn't know that. Those things really need to be talked about as Incelism and proclaimed Men's rights activists that truely are just misogynists are on the rise.

[@edwinv196]

I love when men like this (scammers) try to lecture the rest of us on the values of "hard work." The guy is lousy grifter who overcharges for worthless advice.

[@josephalcaron2706]

False ! he does say that its not a one shoe fits all.

[@niklasmolen4753]

When you said he offers courses for a fee, I immediately knew he was a scammer. He exploits the men's rights movement to earn money and admiration. That some of the advice is good doesn't matter because he has dark motives. Have come across similar cases where political organizations hid their motives behind socially useful facades.

[@synestia4005]

Of course some advices are good or sound good, that's the whole trick. They add some tiny truths here and there to make the lies and harmful agenda easier to sink in. And when they are finally brainwashed they can go and make profit by selling products and courses. It is scammer's 101.

[@mookinbabysealfurmittens]

I don't think "earn" is the right word to describe his money scheme... (That's a jab at him, not at you!)

[@themore-you-know]

Wait, so the guy asking for a fee is a scam... But Rachel's begging for donations the very sentence prior to that isn't a problem ?

[@mookinbabysealfurmittens]

Ignore it.

[@informationyes]

@@themore-you-know She asking while hes demanding so theirs a difference, he's putting it behind expensive pay walls while claiming to want to "help" men, hes claiming a nobel purpose when in relaity having real profit in mind

[@kr5107]

Him saying "your feminine side is your wife" makes me think of how having emotions are considered more feminine and how women are expected to do most, if not all, of the emotional labor in their romantic relationships with men. Women are often looked at a rehabilitation specialists for "fixing" men with emotional trauma/baggage instead of men actually seeking professional help and working on themselves.

[@DrGingerHamster]

Or...this might be a stretch. Bear with me. It could have been a 'joke'.

[@creeperkingdom3190]

@@DrGingerHamster expecting a lady to understand comedy is like expecting rock to understand aerodynamics.

[@painted_k9]

@@creeperkingdom3190 " Hey everybody, look how superior I am! Give me likes, validate me! 🥺🥺" Are you always so inclined to seek attention? Do you ever think about why you crave reaction, and the damage in your psyche it indicates?

[@creeperkingdom3190]

@@painted_k9 yea

[@beanerjoe3001]

@@painted_k9 Hey buddy I think that was a joke.

[@edieb3666]

What makes me a woman is having a female body. I often like “guy stuff” and grew up confused about “how to be a girl,” but that doesn’t matter. If society says that makes me not a woman, society is wrong. There’s nothing wrong with me. I am a woman and I can like whatever i want. Regressive ideas about what is a man or woman are harmful.

[@ash3972]

wait t'ill terfs find out tomboy trans women exist

[@ascendednightingale2456]

@@ash3972 Why are you questioning this person’s identity?

[@ash3972]

@@ascendednightingale2456 when did i do that?

[@mo.ka.9661]

@@ash3972 you mean other types of biolgical women?

[@cosmicreef5858]

Agreed 100% Welcome to the tomboy club :)

[@Chris-ln7tr]

18:24 i had this exact argument with my aunt. she would get so upset every time i’d argue for non-binary people getting inclusion (myself included) because it was “erasing women.” she could never fathom the concept that i wanted us BOTH to exist alongside each other. i don’t want to erase gender, i want us all to exist!! it’s so simple and they just don’t get it!

[@nu--13]

African Americans are being accepted in their homeland of Africa, if only all the nonbinary people had somewhere to retreat to in order to feel safe and never get erased. I think she's talking about erasure of a current culture, whether she knows it or not ✌️ I'm sorry u have to deal with that 🍬

[@monicavelazquezrodriguez3035]

But what I don't understand is, if gender is a social aspect, humans aren't not binary from base, and construct the gender acording to the conformity to the gender roles in their culture? I mean, the gender is already "erased" as it is a choice how this part of the identity, and everybody chooses how to express it, by this definition, a woman or a man aren't non binary human that socialises acording to a binary roles? Why a person is non binary when non binary is the base?

[@fallenbee]

I don't understand how people can't grasp the fact that gender neutral terms exist for people who want to use them, like no one is saying that everyone has to use these terms now. We're just saying that there are alternative terms for whoever WANTS to use them.

[@monicavelazquezrodriguez3035]

@@fallenbee of course, that no one should be forced to use the pronouns they want, but that doesn't answer my question. Isn't the point show that gender is a social construct and everyone expresses at is own way, as it nearly imposible achieve all the gender roles asigned in every culture/time. Isn't a non binary person that socializes as a woman a woman, as bein a woman is socialising as a woman, due to gender is a social construct?

[@svenm7264]

What does transgenderism rest on other than postmodern word games? It has anatomy and chromosomes against it, but what's in favor of it on an evidentiary basis? It's fashionable nonsense. I don't "deny their existence," rather, I dispute their self diagnosis.

[@greenfigtree7778]

I'm realizing that I'm very confused by the concept of masculinity. Like, I have a good grasp of what femininity means but masculinity only seems to be the "absence" of femininity, which is basically nothing. What does masculinity mean to you?

[@Stormy177]

If you have a good grasp of what femininity means, then what does it mean to you?

[@kiera6326]

Well, what does femininity mean to you personally? Masculinity would naturally mean an opposite of that in some way, whatever it is, which is why it’s important not to apply either concepts to states or morality

[@Nylak-Otter]

Having male genitalia, mostly. Males of the human species also tend to be biologically larger/stronger/faster, and behaviorally less detail-oriented/social/behavioral threshold avoidant. No offense intended to trans men. I don't know what the difference is to them, it's just my perspective as a cis person.

[@capriccio9294]

@@Nylak-Otter Trans man here, masculinity in this particular post’s context refers more to behaviors than biological sex. Ie, there are more traditionally masculine women that exist just as there are more traditionally feminine men. Some of what those traits mean is societal and varies culturally. Masculinity/femininity don’t need to be directly linked to things like biological sex or gender identity. They’re adjectives. While they can be used to describe physical attributes, that’s not commonly what they’re referring to when we bring up behaviors. It’s like how red roses are pretty, but not all pretty things are red roses. TLDR masculinity is traits we culturally commonly attribute to men.

[@Nylak-Otter]

@@capriccio9294 But a majority of even behavioral traits are strongly associated with the difference in biology and physiology, not just culture. Raised in a void, a biological female would behave differently than a biological male. And if it's the cultural traditions and expectations alone, then why do trans individuals often feel the need to change their bodies to express what is only a preference for certain socially established behavioral tendencies? They could dress differently and act differently without changing sexual attributes that are only present due to biogical factors, if it's all behavioral. Sorry if this comes off as offensive. A couple of my close friends are trans and I've been with them through their transitions, and since I'm a lady gay I'm reasonably involved in the queer community. Definitely no judgment here. I'm just obnoxiously curious, enjoy a large sample size of opinions, and have no filter.

[@mikelpelaez]

In this video you'll learn why fight club is one of the most misunderstood stories ever made

[@warlordofbritannia]

Don’t you love it when satire just goes completely over some folks’ heads…and by “love it” I mean “get mind-numbingly frustrated”

[@clairemaxwell4724]

Hearing about the father comment made me want to laugh. The person that pushed me to be strong and raise my voice when needed WAS my father. He taught me to be strong and I'll forever love him for that

[@crazycryo5856]

I swear can one dude talk about the real issues of forced gender roles and masculinity without being straight up evil. Gender roles oppress everyone, male, female, and non-binary people alike.

[@OpheliaNL]

Of course not. Because having to address the issue and abandoning gendered socialization means they won't have a leg up within our society and the pros outweigh the cons.

[@AW-uv3cb]

I recommend Pop Culture Detective for that. Those men do exist! 🙂

[@tgin7100]

Kurtis Conner

[@evi6629]

Finntastic mr fox is filling this niche fantastically. His recent video on the body dysmorphia and completely unrealistic body standards so common in male workout culture is great!

[@FocusedFighter777]

Way too hard for them to compute that, as they constantly prove..... A serious reality check is way past due.... wont happen.

[@Dusty_Inkwell]

I WANT men to talk about their feelings. I WANT them to be open about it and talk with me about their worries. It's needed for a healthy relationship and to get closer on a deeper emotional level. I just will never understand why that particular trait will be shunned as being "too feminine". It truly boggles the mind. Also, you look absolutely stunning in that sweater!

[@Dusty_Inkwell]

@@themore-you-know Don't take my words and twist them to your liking. You have no idea how I feel or think. And I have no idea how you even came up with this ridiculous reply. Feelings are important and I value them, no matter the gender.

[@themore-you-know]

@@MareHazyDawn, are you trying to shame, or make a shallow, and unsupported claim/observation?

[@Dusty_Inkwell]

@@SabatSch95 I don't know who hurt you, but I'm sorry you have made such bad experiences in your life. But throwing every women in the same pot only makes you look ignorant. My bf knows he can come to me and talk about his insecurities anytime and I gladly listen, knowing he's always there for me as well if I so need it. And I despise toxic masculinity that tells men they are not allowed to show their feelings or even feel bad for having them. It's ridiculous. Women and men both struggle in different parts of life. Noone has it easy. Everyone experiences these struggles in different ways and intensities. I've been betrayed by a partner and friends in the past. Trust does not come easy to me and I had plenty of bad experiences concerning romance myself. I know this from myself, that opening up to another person is hard. Much more with the stigma that surrounds men and illusion of masculinity. Men need more freedom, MUCH more freedom and understanding when it comes to this topic and if I can at least help my partner to feel comfortable with his worries and feelings around me, then I'm just glad I could make a tiny difference.

[@themore-you-know]

@@SabatSch95, although I generally agree with your comment, I have to testify that it does happen on occasion. But it also needs to be prepared, and it's a little fetishized. My ex helped me greatly by being a safe ear to my previous past. However, it was about things I had explicitly hinted at a year earlier, mentioning that I didn't feel comfortable talking about it: so there was preparation. The day earlier, she told me that she'd spend the night at my place no matter what, so I know it's okay to talk about it. And we did, and it was such a relief to talk about it openly for the first time in my life. However, and back to your point: it's a one-go. There is no such thing as acceptable constant weakness. Added context: And although my ex didnt know herself to be a feminist, in hindsight, I now understand that there was feminist-influence from her schooling/past (something she didn't understand herself): through-out our relationship, the idea of explicitly helping me was largely an outright no, including in the fields she had skills in. Helping me do graphic design for my company, as she had a degree in the field? No no. Cooking for the both of us, so we have set schedules and productivity, as she had since changed career to culinary arts? Again: no no; she'd cook but mostly for her own preference/pleasure, and at the cost of efficient time. All in all: it's not "impossible" for a woman to be open to the emotion of a man (as I witnessed above), but it's so risky as a man to be open that, as a general rule... it's seldom worth it.

[@Dusty_Inkwell]

@@SabatSch95 Words and reason are clearly lost on you and you love twisting other people's intentions. Noone than you can ever be correct or have the right opinion. Your opinion is the one and only and what others say are lies and slander. I leave you in your sad pessimistic hole and do something more productive. Have a wonderful life, sir.

[@al5306]

"Hey! Let's fight for men's rights while we watch self help guru's tell us what our personalities should be!" The guys that don't see the irony in this are whack.

[@jadecoolness101]

Not sure what they're fighting for anyways. There is not a single right that males are denied, and all of the rights they currently have are safe and not being stripped away, unlike their opposite sex counterparts. MRAs came up as a direct response to feminism. The MRA movement is just misogyny.

[@FocusedFighter777]

Yet they constantly repeat that womyn are programable..... While blindly lapping up any F up manosphere content, NOT being able to think for themselves....! They get manipulated to the core, fed lies so that they keep following their shepard and provide them with views (money!), the fact they are blind to everything, and making more victims while claiming everything wrong with the world is womyn's fault, is IRONIC AND MADENNING!!! Men are the ones that are thr most programable, all you need to do is look around..... it's 1ns@ne. They're 1ns@ne.

[@mrsticky005]

So what's the difference here?

[@Nikkiijean]

There’s soooo many out here 😳

[@cockoffgewgle4993]

"Hey! Lets feign interest in men's rights so we can call men mysoggyknees and push more victim feminism and misandry".

[@alyn7868]

I’ve been following him for over a year just so I can keep my eyes sharp for the kind of men I DONT want to date. I’ve responded to a few of his stories/posts with thoughtful questions or responses and he never responds 😂

[@ivagreen11]

Same .. I go to the manosphere sometimes just to update myself how far they went with this narrative... and to know what to *avoid* 😄

[@synestia4005]

Of course not, he's a scam. He earns money from teenager boys that believe his bullshit and buy his products. Hell. It helps a lot if a boy is not a single child but has a sister to grew up with. It helps a lot understanding that men don't have to narrow themselves down to just very few traits, with some of those traits being harmful towards them in the long run, like suppressing emotions for example.

[@Nylak-Otter]

I watch manosphere media because I'm a lesbian with plenty of guy friends, and I've been a regular source of advice since I've historically been, uh, largely successful in my romantic endeavors. One friend in particular advocates for this nonsense, and I'm trying to keep him contained. Pretty sure he's a lost cause at this point. Gotta help my fellow ladies where I can. 😬

[@mikeilabiddle1757]

@@Nylak-Otter Thank you for your sacrifice 🙏

[@informationyes]

@@Nylak-Otter Direct him away from this to a channel called wise thinker he may listen if hes provided anpther outlet and that ones alot more posotive, their not mup of tea but the channel really does seem to avoid toxicity

[@happymaskedguy1943]

Always enjoyed the company of women more than men. I just don’t have a lot in common with most guys - sport (especially football), poker, and the other usual suspects I find terminally boring. Men’s issues absolutely do exist though - I feel a lot of pressure to live up to a societal pressure of what it means to ‘be a man’ (financial success particularly, masked as ‘reliability’ and being a ‘provider’) but I do not believe that they should be used as a counter to issues affecting women. It’s classic whataboutism.

[@BlueGangsta1958]

The increased focus on gender roles in the last couple of decades is concerning. When my mum was a kid, boys and girls weren't nearly as conditioned into gender roles as kids are today. Everything is either blue and sharp-edged, or pink and plush, and women have been turned into one-dimensional stereotypes for so long that some of them legitimately believe they are "not like other girls" because they have an actual personality. It is baffling to see how much we've regressed in such a short time period. Personally, I feel like the terms "masculinity" and "femininity" are pretty useless due to how reductionist they are. There is no clear definition I can see outside of scientifically proven tendencies among men/women. And since society is heavily gendered, it's hard to claim that such tendencies are inherent rather than a product of socialization. I feel like the whole gender concept is doing more harm than good by now, especially for young people trying to find their identity

[@BossX2243]

That’s not true at all. It is scientifically proven that the less social pressure put on men and women the more different they become.

[@Big.Al.2000]

Source?

[@MareHazyDawn]

Source?

[@nuelle2361]

@@BossX2243 Can we get a source on that?

[@Stayin67]

Source?

[@Anna19093]

I’m very happy you are talking about this topic. I myself am both a Feminist and a Men’s Rights Advocate. It’s a shame that these men are bringing such negative thoughts to this community, because they don’t care about men’s rights, they don’t care about men’s struggles, they only care about further oppressing women and pushing toxic masculinity ideology, such as men are weak if they show emotion and they need to have 50 sports cars and 8 mansions to be labeled as successful, further oppressing men in ways they claim to try to stop. It’s a shame that these men are putting a bad look on the men’s rights community, because as a woman who supports the movement, most of them are lovely. It’s the same with how femcels and just flat out man haters are bringing a bad look to the Feminist movement.

[@arcaneSae]

Exactly this. It's so irritating how they always bring up shit that doesn't matter instead of actual rights problems on either side

[@marocat4749]

True, like didnt it rebrand to mans liberation because off that? Hard agree, as much as feminists, well terfs technically come from there.. Yeah abolish gender and that bias. And i know the are isues but whats needed is positive helping getting out of toicmaculinity, to a better , and maybe a bit tough love. An while thre are issues, that need to be agnowledges as is toxic masculinity a thing, can we not turn it in man vs wormen and gender war. and that goes in line with feminim too to, can we treat people first people. and then call out that bad pattern. An that yes womn can indeed abuse men. No its a people thing not a , can anyone be what the want as long as it not harming others (like toxic masculinity yes as vague a it is does actually,) An pretty sure womn teated as people, is in line with feminism too.

[@warlordofbritannia]

@@arcaneSae Spot on-rights aren’t a zero-sum game

[@kiera6326]

Wait how you can be both separately? If you’re a feminist doesn’t that also make you an MRA by default?

[@Anna19093]

@@kiera6326 Yes it does. However, I need to make in apparent that I support both movements otherwise idiots will try to start a fight with me (it’s happened many times.)🙄

[@Rascilon25]

Can I just say sweaters with extra wide arms are the comfiest?

[@RachelOates]

YES!

[@Pyrrhonian]

I'm waiting for the day where people are okay with themselves to the point where they don't need to convince others how okay they are. If someone is drawn to certain hobbies or forms of self expression, they should certainly pursue those things regardless of gender identity. A person who is uninhibited in living life the way they want without having to convince anyone its the best way, is one of the most confident and attractive things you can do.

[@violetnocte]

Human insecurity will always exist. Even if we were to get rid of sexism, racism, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia, etc. people would still find things to hate about other people and themselves.

[@Pyrrhonian]

@@violetnocte for sure, but I think it's possible for a large number of people to start identifying insecurities instead of being reactive to them, which will eventually invite others to do the same. Even if it's perhaps impossible for it to be everyone about every insecurity, for everyone that makes an effort it Increases the chances of those around them doing the same.

[@gabeo9474]

You will be waiting for eternity. Literally.

[@seionne85]

Guys like this, the pick-up art pay me to be your dad types, I see as a symptom of the problem that those of us on the left have in providing positive masculine role models for young cis het dudes. It's a problem I'd like us to solve before Andrew Tate fans make it to voting age Edit: I should have mentioned, thank you soo much Rachel for talking about this.

[@ivagreen11]

True!

[@gabeo9474]

What do you think caused this problem in the first place?

[@seionne85]

@@gabeo9474 capitalism

[@gabeo9474]

@@seionne85 Ah, yes. The flavor of the month. Can you explain how capitalism caused a lack of healthy, strong, masculine role models for men?

[@seionne85]

@@gabeo9474 it's not a one variable analysis but I wanted to give a short answer. Just listen to the way they talk about value, what they tell young men that girls care about, what other men care about. They sell themselves as "red pill" while propping up the rat race. But I grant you capitalism is only one aspect, and I'm not the best person to explain this. Also your comment got deleted

[@georgem2334]

It's not about men's rights, it's about oppressing women, their worth and dignity. There are some pretty awful men out there who are classic women haters. And I'm a guy saying that.

[@susannehuber3996]

Yes we know BELIEVE ME WE DO KNOW. but thanks for speaking out. It makes a difference. These kind of men don’t listen to women.

[@englishexpert1989]

@@susannehuber3996 - Why should men listen to women?

[@CFProductionX]

@@englishexpert1989 Because if the men have a desire for any of their interactions with women to be meaningful and positive, good communication is key in order to facilitate that.

[@englishexpert1989]

@@CFProductionX - This is not the answer to my question

[@dragonbeardable]

You are proving the point that men are not allowed to voice their own concerns. I thought men were supposed to be open about their emotions and what their feeling?

[@MravacKid]

Sadly, one does not preclude the other, and all the misogyny masquerading as men's rights is causing great harm to both genders, and perpetuating the feedback loop of action/reaction fueling the fires of extremism on both ends of the equation.

[@cockoffgewgle4993]

There is no men's rights. It only exists on the internet fringes. Meanwhile, misandry/feminist is ubiquitous and pumped out ceaselessly by most media outlets 24/7. See the difference?

[@ZinniaGulden]

Rachel- I am also autistic and I spent my entire childhood reading and writing. I stopped once I became a teenager because of trauma, but recently I started again because of your channel and your amazing book reviews. You are so well spoken and intelligent. I have a lot of anxiety around words. I feel like most people in society just make noise. They say or write things without actually knowing or questioning what the words they use mean. I think this is why I stopped writing and reading. I felt as if words meant nothing. I’m not sure if this makes sense, but I just thought I’d let you know that you’ve helped me see that the words we choose still matter and hold weight. I can’t wait to see the places you go in your career ❤️

[@huugosorsselsson4122]

“Words add to the senses. The words for the dazzle of mica, the dithering of grass, the Arachne integument of dead trees, are the eye grown larger, more intense.” (Wallace Stevens)

[@pegasos1986]

People like this draw audience in with seemingly common sense statements about how women need to be supportive of their partner and not belittle / emasculate / etc. him. And later they reveal that to be "supportive" as a woman, you need to be a stay-at-home mother and if you are not submissive to him in every situation and ready to have sex whenever he feels like it, you are belitteling and emasculating him. (Or other things like disagreeing with him in public.) They use common sense statements to hide their reactionary (not just conservative) views until you have bought in.

[@cockoffgewgle4993]

A woman should be ready to have sex with her partner whenever he feels like it, within reason. I know the concept of accountability and responsibility is alien to modern women, but that's one of the primary reasons men get girlfriends and wives. And satisfying your partner's needs should be something you're devoted to. And the idea that being a stay-at-home Mother is somehow oppressive or not desirous is ridiculous feminist lie. It's a privileged position, an easy gig in which you're completely provided for and taken care of. Most people, man or woman, would prefer to stay at home with their family all day than wageslave.

[@evelyncolon5497]

Having a housekeeper is definitely a rich person thing lmfao. Every family that I know that has a housekeeper makes at least 4x as much as my family 😂

[@allie_678]

I love how gentle and nuanced your rebuttals are. Some people see one thing they disagree with, and then assume the person who said it can’t possibly be right about anything else, either. You take apart what this guy says and sort through both the good and the bad, pointing out the glaring problems and explaining why certain parts are harmful while also acknowledging when he is right about something. That’s such a rare quality (especially on the Internet) and I appreciate it-you just earned yourself a subscriber!

[@PunkWyrks]

Thank you so much for pointing out that con artists always drop little grains of truth in their lies to make them more believable. Also, thank you for making this channel in the first place. You definitely do more for promoting mens rights, and really *human* rights, (as well as educating us) than this guy ever will.

[@RachelOates]

Thank you ♥️

[@bluchu22]

She’s not an MRA. She’s not promoting men’s rights. She should not be put on a pedestal.

[@PunkWyrks]

@@bluchu22 Feminism is promoting equal rights for all genders. In almost every video that miss Oates releases she talks about how partners in a relationship should be equal. In this very video she says both parties should be equals. That's promoting mens rights as well as everyone elses, buddy. Actually watch her videos and you might learn something. You are probably confusing mens rights with your fallacious idea that men have a right to be mysoginistic. We don't. Time to evolve. I personally am trying to learn how to be less of a cave man. You should give it a shot. tl;dr: you're wrong

[@AW-uv3cb]

@@PunkWyrks I love your comment in reply to bluchu22. As a woman, I hope to see more men thinking like this, so we can ALL, regardless of gender, enjoy a safe caring environment and freedom to pursue whatever interests/careers/lifestyles we choose.

[@PunkWyrks]

@@SabatSch95 Wow, you're rather unhinged. Lets break down how wrong you are. Men are parasites. I agree with this. You, for instance, are here to spread your propaganda using someone elses platform. Your words would fall on deaf eears (eyes?) if not for Rachels platform. You're being a parasite right now. True feminists fight for equality. Your idea that feminists should take away rights because women have 'more rights' is based on a fallacy. Women do not have more rights. Yes, there are *some* protections that women get, since men are fucking smooth brained, abusive, cretins. Men beat women. Men impregnate and leave women. This leaves women in a vulnerable position so SOCIECTY steps in to equalize the situation. Equality is evening the playing field. You seem to not get that. Further, your incel regurgitation doesn't apply here. Noone has said the things you've claimed in your last paragraph. That is obviously you just spouting off what you believe without bothering to offer proof. It's sad. Look. You oppose Rachel, feminists, and logic because you have a sense of ENTITLMENT. You think things should be the way YOU want them and you want people to conform to your idea of reality (this is evidenct by how you wrote your comment, very "things should be as i see them" and not very self aware or introspective. Just... do what I want. You and others like you follow the same pattern. Try breaking the pattern. Try actually learning what is going on instead of hiding inside of your echo chamber and hiding behind your confirmation bias. I'm a man. I'm a feminist. You don't know what it means to be either. (edit: i might identify as a man but i don't promote the man/woman dichotomy. it's a whole spectrum. )

[@JoeyJ0J0]

I used to be an MRA, I am glad I got out of that community. There are better ways to help men

[@x-man9473]

I'm sorry you got out of doing things to actually help men and decided to focus on doing nothing of importance to actually help men.

[@ivagreen11]

​@@x-man9473 misogyny don't help men, it keeps them horny, angry and frustrated 😄

[@x-man9473]

@@ivagreen11 acknowledging men's issues and pushing for it to be fixed isn't misogyny, tho. So there's that.

[@JoeyJ0J0]

@@x-man9473 have fun wasting your time and money, sucker

[@x-man9473]

@@JoeyJ0J0 Don't hesitate to explain what you're doing for men's issues. So far it looks like you're just complaining about the people doing actual work. But since you have time out of your day to critique movements that you're "happy to have left", please explain your work on the subject matter. I'm all ears

[@salo6724]

Just started watching, but had to come here to tell you that your jumper is causing me joy despite combining perhaps my two least favorite colors :D What a pleasant surprise

[@Eric_The_Eccentric]

As a guy, I can't stress this enough. Men need to lift each other up without downplaying women's issues. It's important to remind ourselves that misogyny, sexism, toxic masculinity etc., affect both men and women. "Real men don't cry" is the male stereotype equivalent of "women belong in kitchens." When a male victim of SA comes forward, women are the first to rally behind him and give the support he needs, while these so-called alpha men question the victim's manhood and call him a p***y. That is why I hate hearing the "male victims not being taken seriously" argument while discussing the issue of double standards against women. Yes, it's true. Male victims do face that problem but why is that? Go figure. And I know that modern feminism has a problem but one doesn't negate the other.

[@kiera6326]

Yess! Feminism is an ally of men’s rights not an opponent ❤

[@rcmpoffdayintah4738]

I agree, men need to take action and responsibility for how they treat other men.

[@gabeo9474]

Did you know that most DV shelters adamantly refuse to offer assistance to men? Did you know that the most common DV intervention program used today was created by effinists who dictated that men are the aggressors in absolutely every instance of domestic conflict regardless of clear evidence to the contrary-even if he enters the program voluntarily in search of help? Did you know that many police departments instituted a policy under the direction of effinists which states that the wmn cannot be arrested in a domestic call unless the man is first arrested-even if she freely admits to being the sole aggressor? Did you know that effinists have aggressively protested and shut down men's “self-delete” awareness events? Did you know that many/most of the pioneers of radical effinism openly and publicly expressed contempt for men? Can you provide any notable examples of instances where they have improved men’s lives?

[@rcmpoffdayintah4738]

@@gabeo9474 no one here is saying there isn't change that needs to happen, i could throw out alot of facts and statistics too. I think the point is that if men want to see improvements they also have to be behind women. If you are asking hurt people to afford the group they have been hurt by empathy you should be ready to do the same for them. This isn't a battle of the sexes, on the contrary its about asking everyone to go inward and ask themselves to try and be fair to each individual and their experience. The everyday women or feminist you meet on the street isn't responsible for a police officer over looking male victims of DV. Police officers are well known partner beaters anyway, so what do they care? There's also many woman who seek help for SA or DV and get blown off by the cops. What's the point in comparing? Isnt that why we're having this conversation? Beause man and women have differing struggles that both stem from misogyny. And they boh are valid and deserve attention?

[@rcmpoffdayintah4738]

@@gabeo9474 for example have you been lobbying for changes to these systems yourself? Like th DV situation could easily be fixed with having a men's halfway house. Maybe thats a project you could spearhead, I would be behind. You could ask your friends and family for support, rally in the community. Speak to your male friends about how you would support them in that situation and assure them there's no shame in getting help etc. Most DV and SA men experience is also perpetrated by other men so even just talking about it and trying to break down the stigma around homophobia is important too.

[@chag42]

what pisses me off the most is the argument "men used to be manly, everyone's gone soft" as if the entire point of all the hardships men have historically faced wasn't to increase the quality of life for future generations!!

[@doomedwit1010]

My favorite part is read books from any time period. People have been saying this about young men for thousands of years.

[@narushini704]

What amazes me is that there are much more men and women then we'd like to think, that share these beliefs.

[@tooth2887]

"Men's rights or just Misogyny?" as a man I'm going with Misogyny due to how stupid some things are I hear.

[@englishexpert1989]

Ok simp

[@conradmusicofficial586]

lol that's because you're a simp. Men need way more help than women right now and people like me are going to keep talking about it.

[@tooth2887]

@@conradmusicofficial586 ok? like your sorta right, a lot of men's issues do need to be addressed so keep at it but how does that make me a simp I was talking about the stupid things not the valid ones like men actually needing mental help and stuff.

[@Player-kq6fd]

And do women say say some stupid crap like some I seen a group of feminist gets angry over a anime picture 2 things one she had big boobs and 2 its at a normal restaurant its they said women should go to places for 4000$ and women bodies don't look like that its just a picture of anime art

[@Player-kq6fd]

There more

[@gullyfoyle3253]

What stuck out for me was "Being an effective man". What?! How is one "effective" as a "man"? What does that entail? A big part of my job is looking out for and after people. Doing that well makes me effective. I'm a cis male. I'd like to think I'm an effective person, that I contribute to the welfare of the lives around me. It has no tie to my Xy.

[@newperson9662]

Its probably has to be do with being valued, desired, and having a sphere of influence in society. Men arent robots who just need to be 'effective'. They desire these things just as much as women.

[@mo.ka.9661]

Testosterone maybe?

[@AxiomofDiscord]

I advocate for men's issues mostly got there through topics of the corrections system and suicide which have touched my life and I have seen hurt men disproportionately. I don't think this guy is keeping men out of jail or out of the grave I don't see him as an ally to my cause.

[@jackmellor5536]

MRA shouldn't be a dirty word. Mens rights should be supporting male victims of domestic abuse and sexual assault as well as child custody rights, among other issues. Unfortunately, there are false flag MRAs that make MRAs a taboo thing.

[@sharonberry410]

We desperately need critical thinking to be taught in schools.

[@cockoffgewgle4993]

We desperately need critical theory to not be taught in universities.

[@cosmicreef5858]

Emotions are a part of a LIVING BEING. Have nothing to do with specific species.

[@micahfoley9572]

Straight man here. What we really want is a woman who can defeat our enemies in armed, mortal combat. preferably with large double edged bladed weapons. and it'd be great if she understood astrophysics, so i could ask her questions when we watch space documentaries.

[@reeree4755]

That's cute

[@yuzu8709]

If I didn't have such a lovely fiancee, I'd almost say sign me up XDDDD but I prefer a regular sword since it's less hassle. So I guess i'm not qualified.

[@micahfoley9572]

@@yuzu8709 hey, longswords are valid too :)

[@HierophanticRose]

I like the way you are dissecting his work and taking the kernels of truth out and pointing them as well. This is critical thinking, and often in academic setting you have to go through the works of people you dislike to the core or are diametrically opposed in views, yet you still try to pinpoint areas of correctness, so that you can better explain where it is going wrong.

[@mookinbabysealfurmittens]

I know this sounds a bit silly and shallow, but I just wanted to say that [the subject matter is difficult, especially for me - but also] I really like your jumper, and I've noticed more of that style in recent videos: wonderful combos of bright, happy colours in fun designs and that fun, comfy loose fit. (The one from the weird Carnival series comes to mind!) Don't get me wrong, you rock every outfit, but I just wanted to note about the jumpers cos idk I'm a bit ASD and going through a lot and those little things do help a lot. As does your strong demeanour, firm but kind, knowing from having been there (I mean "through some real shxt") and your bravery helps to give me a bit of hope to find some of my own someday. You're a kind spirit, truly a support and a figure of hope and compassion. Thank you for sharing your kindness and helping to tear apart patriarchal nonsense with your incisive wit. P.S. Speaking of clothing, I really like the merch shop shirts with the allover-print beetles. They're so beautiful, and so fab! Your artwork is really stunning! (For those who don't know, she created those illustrations. ^_^) Cheers

[@RachelOates]

Thank you!!

[@FitmomRN]

Thank you for covering topics like this. I’m all for men’s issues being talked about in a healthy, constructive, helpful way. However, a lot of channels are popping up now that claim to do that but they’re actually just misogynistic men spewing toxicity. It’s scary to see how many subs these channels have & how many men are listening & agreeing with these ideas. It’s incredibly dangerous & I’m glad you’re shining light on these men. Men’s issues need to be talked

[@jjoohhhnn]

There was a much healthier MRA about a decade ago, and feminists shouted them down, and the alt-right's institutional power filled the gap. This is feminists fault, 100%.

[@tetsubo57]

I've never had a conversation with an MRA that didn't eventually reveal that they were a misogynist.

[@newperson9662]

How do women's sexual and romantic preferences contribute to this? Unless you're tall, conventionally hot, and masculine you are not valued in the dating and sex scene and have next to no options. Women are extremely selective and find few men physically attractive. Why cant you see how it contributes to the redpill, blackpill, incel ideology and creates ground for Tate and JP like gurus to gain followers? At least acknowledge that dating and sexual aspect of life is harder for men in the mainstream so the disenfranchised unwanted men dont funnel into toxic subcultures

[@tetsubo57]

@@newperson9662 Did you read my comment? Thanks for providing such an excellent example. Maybe if you stopped believing this vile dreck you'd have more luck dating.

[@wayln2591]

@@newperson9662 still not a reason to literally rap* women. The whole internet is filled with men making disgusting comments and jokes on women but y'all get mad when women do the same. Plus if all women were marrying only attractive males then so many marriages wouldn't be happening. Stop lying. Men have toxic standards too. Literally look around the nanosphere to see how disgusting they are towards women. I no longer wish to date males. I wish there was a way to change your sexuality because it's either that or dying alone. Yes it would be sad but the males simply aren't worth it anymore. Most are toxic sexist creatures.

[@newperson9662]

​@@wayln2591 Stop changing the goal posts by bringing up marriage. It is not possible for every woman to marry a super hot, tall, rich man as there are only so many to go around. Its about who you are approaching on your own, swiping right on Tinder and Bumble, having crushes on, chasing, pursuing in the dating world, hooking up and having casual sex, one night stands, and fuck buddy arrangements with, before you eventually 'settle down' with someone within your league. Those men are always the top tier men, the tallest, hottest, sexiest men around. For the most part of your lives, your minds, bodies, and hearts are preoccupied with these men only. Why cant you women be more honest, brave, and accept that you're physically attracted to very few men? Just own your preferences. Who are you afraid of?

[@fangsandfolklore8795]

I am sensitive, artist, and a man. I am no less a man than anyone else.

[@liamodonovan6610]

There are way to many narrow minded jackass's like this guy always enjoy your videos rachel love you so much hope you have the best 2023 ever you are someone i really look up too you are one of my heros

[@GrayTimber]

First off; love the sweater. Those are my husband's top favourite colours and I'd love to buy one just like that for him Second off; "I'd love to see traditional relationships along side non-traditional." Felt. I listen to reddit stories all the time and it's not like I judge stay-at-home mom stories. It's just another dynamic, and one I'm not personally interested in for myself. But I like to hear about them all the same :)

[@arwenclay3938]

I wish I had something more profound to say but all I need to say is you look so freaking pretty. Absolutely love the hair and shirt and makeup. Perfect combo 🤌🏻

[@sadem1045]

I've spent time in men's rights Facebook groups and there was so much misogyny there (not to mention some homophobia). It was very disappointing and I felt really bad for the guys I interacted with because they were proving a stereotype about men's rights advocates/activists.

[@saraali1538]

What the group's name

[@Blueorange22]

I'm a men's rights activists, and not a misogynist. The MRA groups I am in are quite well balanced. It's quite simple what MRAs what- equality. We want to address men's issues such as - circumcision - the education gap - conscription - unequal pension ages - the life expectancy gap - the prison sentencing disparity - fair legal recognition of male victims of domestic violence etc. Wanting to talking about these things is not misogynistic in anyway.

[@DrGingerHamster]

Well Said Blue. Good to see you. I like your stuff on the channel.

[@DrGingerHamster]

@@ulsterbenny495 Normal people of course, should be able to discuss these issues. Feminists are not normal people. They are literally insane. It difficult to have a rational discussion with people who refuse to have a discussion. It's a problem, for certain.

[@beanerjoe3001]

The life expectancy gap? How the hell do we fix that? I have one idea and it rhymes with gas inside.

[@DrGingerHamster]

@@beanerjoe3001 I suppose more? research into what is killing men sooner than women? Perhaps substance issues, suicide, industrial deaths, not sure. I think the main point is, it seems anyway, no one really cares about issues regarding men, or most certainly, not enough people in any position of power to change anything.

[@beanerjoe3001]

@@DrGingerHamster I care about men's rights issues but it's a good thing if men die sooner than women that's how it should be.

[@drtaverner]

I grew up during the height of action-films. They literally told us that Toxic Masculinity was the ONLY masculinity, and everything else was weakness.

[@MareaRayneOleander]

I would be very curious as to what this man thinks "fatherhood" is. Does he think fathers should change diapers? Does he think fathers should take their children to doctor appointments? Does he think fathers should kiss the boo-boos away? Does he think fathers should help children learn to clean/put their toys away? What is a "father"s role? Surely it's more than just making money and decisions.

[@violetnocte]

No he can't do that that's too feminine /s

[@beanerjoe3001]

I believe raising a competent healthy child who can shoot a rifle and is capable of living off the land with plenty of bushcraft/survival skills who is physically and mentally strong enough to not be intimidated by any man is what a father is moraly obligated to do. If your child eats McDonald's and doesn't do exactly what you say to a t when you say it you probably failed. A child should behave like a well trained dog. A fathers job is to prepare his children for the hard life that they will face.

[@person1420]

@@beanerjoe3001 No

[@Ivan-bk9xs]

@@beanerjoe3001 you had me until "well trained dog", bruh. Everything else is 100%. Not only teaching life skills and independence but must also be a moral beacon. A plus if he is taught to be diplomatic and not let his emotions control him. Lots of dudes nowadays flying into rage and ruining their lives for stupid reasons.

[@beanerjoe3001]

@@Ivan-bk9xs The well trained dog part is about not letting his emotions control him and being obedient. A trained dog completes the task without being distracted by emotions.

[@annabeinglazy5580]

Me, POSSIBLY a feminine Woman, If liking Vintage Fashion and Marlene Dietrich trousers and crochet Count as feminine: a Thing i Love Most about my Partner is his emotional intelligence. The fact that He likes to cuddle and Talk about His Feelings. I Love that His First action when He got His new Drill was to buy a bathroom mirror "for" me (really, it was an excuse to use the drill, but hey, it's a win win). I Love that He Likes to Cook. Dont worry though, Brandon, youre Not my Type. My masculine tendencies of.... Being Independent and emotionally challenged sometime... Will never affect you.

[@Kleerit]

Yeah, thanks but as a man I'd rather take my advice from another man. Women don't know what's the best for a man, leave your lectures for yourselves. *clicks the not interested botton*

[@Isabella_lovely]

"if you are born a man, you are 100% a man" That's funny, I'm a woman despite being born a male. Also to answer your question at the end of the video around 28:43, it depends. He has the little grain of truth so I can see why one would follow him, but at the same time, his ranting often gets misogynist, homophobic and transphobic so his account would also appeal to misogynists, homophobes and transphobes, so it depends on the follower you're talking about.

[@msjkramey]

Add to that that no one is born a man. We all start off as babies lol

[@RuminatingRaptor]

All human embryos start off as females.

[@daxdarve8817]

@@msjkramey yep we are born male or female. Very very few ate born homethrodites.

[@msjkramey]

@Dax Darve do you mean hermaphrodite? Lol. And pretty sure those people prefer the term intersex And sex isn't gender, you know

[@daxdarve8817]

@@msjkramey I've not heard anyone complain at rhe word hermaphrodite at all till people like yourself said it is some how insulting. When it's the scientific term which described these very rare people. And gender and sex are basically the same You don't called a female dog or cat a they them do you.

[@meglincolnsquarepotterystu1522]

The Patriarchy is no-one’s friend.

[@notthething9531]

Because it’s fictional

[@tayloradams3993]

So interestingly enough, there is a MINOR difference in how men and women TEND to process emotions. There isn't MUCH research for this, mind you, but there's a few studies out there that demonstrate that estrogen enables one to be a bit more cognitive of their feelings and thus they act a bit more mature and controlled with their feelings (and / or cry more because they're overwhelmed), while testosterone leads to someone feeling their emotions more instinctively (IE reacting more physically and thinking less about how they're acting). That said, this is a minor difference, and overall the largest decider on how you process feelings is your own personality. Additionally, to be a healthy adult you need to feel emotions on both levels to be able to properly handle them, but it is an interesting thing to note.

[@PoleGlasist]

Very informative honestly! Where'd you learn this if you don't mind me asking?

[@blockblock376]

Get masculinity now for the small price of just 125$/year!

[@mindymulligan2397]

People need to realize that they will feel so much better once they stop trying to control how other people live their lives. Do I understand or agree with every single thing I see people doing/posting? no. But do I need to impose my world views or opinions on every single person I talk to or see online? no. If it is making them happy and it's within their rights, then it isn't anyone else's business (ironically thats just my opinion).

[@chelseahindle3645]

My father died when I was eighteen… a moral failing on my part I suppose

[@spaghettiupseti9990]

Its probably better for heterosexual men who need dating advice to talk to women about what they want in a partner rather than a man tell other men what women want

[@RickReasonnz]

Sadly, people attracted to MRA posts are those men who haven't had a real conversation with women. Not about hooking up, or dating, but just talking with women as another person.

[@skittlemilks1614]

@Mr. M It’s better than talking to a man about it.

[@mystatm6942]

"what women want" There are videos where women are asked about their preferences between: a drug dealer, a scammer, or an ordinary working guy 9/5 ... These guys talk about a different reality than yours, in which women are also different Maybe

[@jewels3400]

@Mr. M that's why it's even BETTER to talk to women. That way you can actually tell if you are compatible. You would also get better social skills, learn new things, even make an important friend. Disaster(embarrassment) is standard in social situations. The fact you don't know this is very telling. You viewing that embarrassment as bad will cause you to be worse at socializing. It's a self- fulfilling prophecy. However, if you are actually causing real disasters. You should find help of some kind. People usually don't create social disasters on a daily basis.

[@jewels3400]

@Mr. M I saw your comment about knowing no woman. I'm sorry to hear that. My only advice is don't warp your mind by entering an echo chamber. I've been in that situation many times, but I always strived to not become overly biased and ignorant. You will meet more women eventually. They're just people. Nothing really dramatic about having a female classmate or coworker, you'll be fine. As long as you don't enter some delusional thinking (I've done that. Created untrue ideas in my head about social situations. It always made things worse). Just don't overthink it.

[@DreFromMaine8472]

Happy New Year Rachel! It’s great that you’re still doing videos like this, that’s for sure!

[@soggy8536]

I know this isn’t very on topic but your sweater is so cool

[@alexander_markovski]

I’m a masculine man with masculine traits and ideals. I was born and raised female, but I was simply So Trans, I *taught myself* toxic masculinity. I traumatised myself with the belief that I couldn’t show weakness or vulnerability and didn’t allow myself to properly cry until I was 19 years old. I love sports, and beer, and really want to get back into hitting the gym. I’m a gamer, I’m a loud talker, I’ve been known to try to fix problems for people when I shouldn’t have. But I’m not an asshole. I have many strong opinions, but I’ll only ever fight for the ones that matter, like human rights. I’m not gonna go seeking out videos supporting the tories just to shit on them, but I will use my vote and my voice about policies. I’m getting better at not stepping on toes when I want to help. None of this is *hard to do!* I’m talking about the bare minimum of self-reflection and course corrective behaviours. I treat the people around me with respect, regardless of race, gender, age, or how attractive they are (because it’s not respect if I’m just doing it to get with them). It boggles my mind when I think about how my small acts of kindness have changed some people’s lives, and how other’s small acts of kindness have changed mine. People like Brendan don’t realise the insignificance they will leave this earth with. Or perhaps they do realise, and that’s why they crave a legacy, even one of such boring obsolescence as “teaching the next generation of boys how to hate themselves and everyone around them”

[@ouijacorn]

Am I the only one getting the impression that he's recommending women join MLMs in that last part about "extra income"?

[@synestia4005]

If someone understand the german language I can also recommend the channel from Alexander Prinz aka Der Dunkle Parabelritter. He did a video about toxic masculinity and why the patriarchy is harming men and women both. The video is called "Warum Feminismus scheitert!" the title is provocate on purpose to reach all the men that are brainwashed and wouldn't otherwise click on a video discussing feminism, toxicity etc. The video is focusing on explaining what toxic masculinity is and why it is not only a women's fight but actually also a men's fight too, because many men are closing their eyes and holding their ears when even hearing a feminism term.

[@adamfaulkner-stanheight6628]

I will definitely check that out! Thank you for the reference.

[@bunsenn5064]

I believe there is a reasonable way to express genuine issues members of the masculine sex face, without disregarding the issues members of the feminine sex face. The reality is, men and women are two different groups with different problems, but are all human and deserve equal attention.

[@informationyes]

Studys show egalitarian relationships are happier than hierarchical ones

[@crystlelakefarm1254]

Very true

[@adamearl3874]

But feminists says egalitarianism is misogynistic

[@informationyes]

@@adamearl3874 Do they which ones?

[@informationyes]

@@SabatSch95 Thats noit what ive seen, their actually quite a varied goups with varied beliefs even in the past

[@michaelcollins8328]

The best way for a man to be content with his life is to live it with the goal of satisfying his own desires and needs. Whether or not a woman is part of that equation is not important.

[@kiera6326]

That’s just how people should be content with their lives period

[@michaelcollins8328]

@@kiera6326 Most people seem to think that someone else could make them happy. That is a fool's errand.

[@edwinv196]

The less you desire the more content you will be. The more content you are the happier you are. If you can find peace with having nothing then there is nothing that can hurt you.

[@michaelcollins8328]

@@edwinv196 The philosophy of the Buddhist monk. By limiting your desires to the basics, you will find true contentment.

[@Nylak-Otter]

I actually plan to be a stay at home mother soon, at least until my fiancée's child is old enough to attend school. The thing is, I have a passive income that is higher than my partner's, and I train personal protection dogs and working dogs with military/police applications (for sale/by commission) and rehabilitate dogs deemed dangerous/aggressive in our county (for adoption at my shelter, unpaid hobby) all from my home kennels, and I don't intend to stop that side gig. I figure the kid can help with socializing them to small children, so, bonus! So yeah, I do plan to be a strong and self-sufficient stay at home mum, and if anyone thinks that makes me submissive or mild-mannered or something, they can hash that over with my dogs.

[@madox4061]

stay at home usually implies you don't make your own income and depend on your partner, which is what raises the red flags in people's heads. from what you describe, i suppose that's more of a work from home situation.

[@daylightbright7675]

When we talk about redistribution of power, there is always going to be resistance from those with more. See, from what I know, social justice as a modern concept seems to have come from the era of the French Revolution and its original discussion of classism. It's a very old movement by now, which is why we see many modern classical stories following common folk accomplishing good. Older ones tended to focus the narrative around royalty and nobility, painting them as the ideal model of a person and the best people in society. This shift in popular media shows a massive shift in thinking around this topic. People were embracing the idea that being less wealthy or even impoverished absolutely doesn't make you stupid, dishonest, undignified, aggressive, or any of the other negative labels associated with people of lower social class at that time. It's interesting because this same pattern has held true for EVERY social justice movement I can think of in modern history. The first step is always fighting back against the idea that those who are part of marginalized groups somehow deserve the subjugation they face. Reactionaries who want to crush these social movements will always try to fall back on this emotional manipulation because it has been so effective for so long. But gone are the days when society was compromised of monarchs, nobles, and their powerless subjects living in squalor. We're beginning to understand that power needs to be shared in order for us to properly respect basic human dignity and progress as a collective. Whether that's civil rights, women's rights, or trans/gay rights, it's all the same. No, chosen elites don't just get to suck up resources they don't need or deserve, and they don't get to shove other people around to their heart's content. That's just not the world we live in anymore. And ideally, it never will be again

[@creeperkingdom3190]

intresting take lets bring it one step further though how exactly did that social justice thing go for the french? Another question how far those social justice have to go before it pendulum swinging in the other direction. ladies make up 70 percent of college graduates, and ladies age 18 to 25 make more money than their male counter parts. if the argument of the second and third wave was that ladies being underrepresented in the workforce and collage made them oppressed doesn't that mean naturally that men are now the currently oppressed class. Why is social justice always seem to be a one way street. ladies got the right to vote (good for you) but why are men still expected to sign up for the draft and literally die and kill in war for their country, ladies got liberation from their typical gender roles but men are still largely expected to be brain winners and protectors (any man wanting to be house husband would be laughed at), and ladies got to own property and were freed from most of the disadvantages of marriage (I'm all for that) yet when the marriage is over the man is tuill expected to pay for everything. to put my last three questions into one, where is the social justice for men or are we as a society still going to just sit and pretend that the only ones who ever faced disadvantaged due to their gender were female and it was all the fault of the evil men for doing so. Im avoiding using the W word that referees to females because yt doesn't like it.

[@daylightbright7675]

@@creeperkingdom3190 Ah yes, another commom tactic of reactionaries that I failed to mention. Hijacking the movement. Listen, there are absolutely men's issues that deserve to be addressed. Men face awful things like sexual assault, domestic abuse, harassment, losing loved ones, homelesness etc. And are often not given anywhere near adequate social or institutional support to cope with these things. That is fully unacceptable and you absolutely deserve better. Men do also deserve to be treated more fairly in family court. Women aren't always more fit parents, and that NEEDS to be taken into account. So no, men and the problems you face don't deserve to be ignored. But everything you mentioned? You got that straight from your ass. 70% of college graduates are female? What? It varies wildly depending on what program and school you look at. And income also varies plenty. The draft? It's inhumane and a violation of human rights to force ANYONE, man or woman to fight and die in war. That's why developed nations don't do it anymore. Men are expected to pay for everything and be the bread winners? How? One income just can't support a household these days. And no one I've ever met talks about or treats men like they're walking wallets. No one in popular media, politics, or anywhere else does either. If anything pressure has been put on women to make sure their partners aren't straining themselves too much to provide financially, which in this day and age is honestly very fair. So what you're doing is trying to say women have an unfair advantage, when the reality is that men have lost their unfair advantage. When you're privilaged, equality feels unfair

[@zbcrazy]

I think traditional gender roles in a relationship are oppressive, but my dad and I are great friends and always have been. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@sanasideup7497]

I’ve always wondered what positive and healthy masculinity might look like. I always see the term of toxic masculinity being tossed around in conversations. I understand it and think it’s something we need to overcome. However, I don’t see people talking about healthy masculinity. Is it about the man being the provider and protector? Is it about being strong for your family? What is healthy masculinity about?

[@Otherwise88]

Fantastic mr fox released a video recently about just that. Also pop culture detective has older videos on it. In summary though, you're right. Protect and defend and support the weak. My only problem with that sentiment is what men need to defend women from: other men.

[@AliciaMcIntire]

Dr. Honda Psychology in Seattle talks about this from time to time. He defines it as the ability to recognize and express emotion in a healthy way as well as other traits like cooperation, communication, and being a good dad. The emotional maturity part is the biggest for him though

[@capriccio9294]

There’s a video Cinema Therapy did on Aragorn from LOTR that goes over healthy masculinity. Highly recommend that one.

[@jewels3400]

I'd say my dad is a good example. He is honest, follows the law sometimes to a fault, cares for his children with patience and conviction, and overall just works hard and appreciates what he has. But here is the important thing, I think masculinity is just like femininity, rather undefinable. Truly they only represent a small part of who we are. You can live a fulfilling life without focusing on either of those subjects. If masculinity is needed though, I'd say, patience, hard work, steadfastness, and honesty. Also a good dose of being physically strong, though that is a flavor thing. Totally optional, I would never demand it.

[@beanerjoe3001]

@@jewels3400 A weak man doesn't care about his children. An unarmed man doesn't care about his children. Many men in this world gain pleasure hurting children. A man without the ability to defend his children from those men is not a good man.

[@ohnospaghettios]

He’s pulling an Andrew Tate basically. Taking grains of truth but making the overarching take of being hateful.

[@SpaceProb]

The basic premise of the majority of this sel-proclaimed men's rights groups as they currently are isn't helping men, its about sustaining patriarchal systems that are currently falling down because womeb are women are getting more freedoms. Like one of the main resons that led men to suicide is loneliness and the majority of this activists instead of focusing on raising awareness on the importances of developping deep platonic relationshisp with men and women where there is no hidden expectations and being open minded about other people's experiences and just generaly being an outgoing decent human being they tend to blame women for raising their standards which is literally just a partner who thinks equally of them. I've been in that hole a long time ago and its mostly people with hateful agenda which can't grasp the simple fact that other people's experiences could be different and who know how easy it is to exploit men and boys minds and they do it so efficiently.

[@JaredTSM]

its a protest to womens protests its not out of goodwill

[@miss-laea]

You have good opinions :) don’t be scared to put more conviction in what you’re saying

[@MySchoolProject15]

This guy: “Let me tell housewives how to add value to their homes!” Housewives: “There he goes, mansplaining our job to us again.” (Disclaimer: not a housewife, but I can imagine how annoying it would be to have this numpty explain my job back to me and pretend to speak for me. As if every housewife hasn’t already thought of the brilliant ideas he’s apparently just invented, like *checks notes* cooking your own food.)

[@andrewd8481]

The reason boys are taught to bury their emotions is because when you grow up as a man, if you show emotion, it WILL be used against you. More often than not, by the people you care about the most. It is taught as a way to mitigate the pain this will cause you later in life.

[@TheTheFrankiestein]

The problem isnt men's rights, the problem is that when women try to talk about their experiences, men will have to say something about mens problems too. we should give space to both problems equally without one going over the other. People don't understand that "mens rights" and "women rights" fall under the same umbrella against the mentality that was since the start of society.

[@crystlelakefarm1254]

Men act as though they don't have any rights and yet they could never survive what they've put women through without complaining

[@bignasty6395]

I don't see MRA's protesting and shutting down feminist gatherings......but I have seen a lot of feminist do that to MRA's........

[@jjoohhhnn]

Women can't talk about their issues without men whataboutisming? I wonder where they learned that behavior? Weird.

[@yourfriendlyneighborhoodsm4708]

If we’re just dropping recs for positive masculine figures in the comments, lemme just drop FD Signifier real quick. He’s doesn’t only talk about men’s issues, in fact that’s not even really is focus, but he’s out here putting it the work to put us men (especially black men) on the right path from an intersectional perspective. And he has real world experience as a teacher and in the social work field to back his stuff up

[@roxannedunstanharvey4898]

There are some legitimate men's issue like mental health and custody issues. But let's be honest they are on the back burner at best in the manosphere

[@nu--13]

Everything men "don't want" Sounds really really hot to me. For "competing for power, my partner and I honestly play games (like actual games) to decide who should have the power that day/be correct. It really helps our competitive nature to figure out who's gonna sub 🍬 Random edit: "omfg someone said toasty in reference to a toasty!!!!!" 😯 : an American

[@rosabscura]

Men who think this way are just sad and emotionally deficient..

[@newperson9662]

The problem is our natural instincts. Most men aren't considered sexually desirable by women. Most women are by men. This is at the root of everything. When will the woke and liberal stop pretending there's no disparity?

[@mattatron3152]

I temporarily waded into the cesspool of MRAs years ago. If you want to know how it happened, I came from an ultra religious background that had a bunch of weird hypocritical views on gender as mostly Christian fundamentalists do. Then-only 2 years into college-I had a radical feminist teacher who gave me an overly negative impression of feminists and made me believe that all feminists were like her. Trying to see through the nonsense of both of these 2 conflicting perspectives-one day I stumbled onto MRA propaganda and it seemed to be a compromise to me that made practical sense between the 2 radically diverging viewpoints because they presented themselves as focused on both men and women's issues. Anyways-if you wondered how some younger guys become MRAs-that was my journey into it many years ago...

[@tweeandcute283]

How did you get out of it?

[@mattatron3152]

@@tweeandcute283 I started following smarter and less opinionated feminists who weren't as opinionated and angry as my former teacher and realized that she hadn't represented all feminists' views. Also-I became an atheist, so I stopped letting priests determine for me what the correct opinions on gender were-haha...

[@venusinaries]

@@mattatron3152 “less opinionated” you just want us to pipe down and stay in our place. you’re clearly not 100% out of it lol. how could you think every feminist thinks like your one teacher in the first place if you viewed women as individuals with their own thoughts and feelings?

[@mattatron3152]

@@venusinaries On the contrary-I view men and women as equals to the point of a fault which is why I didn't have any more respect for a misandrist female teacher than I would for a misogynist male teacher (of whom I met many growing up in the ultra conservative world). Given that she was the first self-described feminist that I'd ever met at the time-I made a youthful mistake by jumping to conclusions about feminism in thinking that they all viewed men as the enemy. That's when i ran across some relatively moderate factions of the MRAs who seemed to be the most reasonable ones at the time, but as I learned more about feminism and MRAs-I realized that the majority of feminists are reasonable and intelligent and the majority of MRAs are not which is how I realized my mistake...

[@gabeo9474]

@@venusinaries You-not "us"-specifically should in fact "pipe down" and get over yourself. Nobody wants your overly reactive confrontational nonsense.

[@FeministCatLadySpinster]

Ohh this guy. I'm no stranger to his content, so I'm going with the latter. Looking forward to hearing Rachel's take on it, though!

[@VHSdraws]

1.I'm afab, and I have a twink bf, and I love him! Been with him 4 years now and counting! 2. My bf really wants to keep things 50/50 between us like workload/paying for stuff, but sometimes I gotta tell him what just works best for me or him or for both of us! If we lived together, we'd have casual sex, we're working on getting an apartment. We're discussing a possible Open Relationship would work for us in the future 3. I love your sweater!

[@VHSdraws]

@mr.m6038 Hot! 🤤

[@ash3972]

@mr.m6038 that's hot

[@ash3972]

@mr.m6038 source?

[@ascendednightingale2456]

I’m sorry if this is offensive, but what’s a twink?

[@VHSdraws]

@@ascendednightingale2456 a skinny guy, often a little feminine or youthful, but doesn’t have to be. We often use this dialect when talking to each other

[@L0rdOfThePies]

I just feel bad for the young men falling for this shit, you dont need to put down one group of people to raise another

[@maximumdinosaur]

You always have the right words

[@Nerobyrne]

While I'm sympathetic to some of their causes, I hate the term "Men's Rights". Most if not all of these things aren't an issue of rights, it's an issue of masculinity and the expectations placed on men. That's why I like intersectional feminism. It's really about everyone, unlike some other streams of feminism like radfems.

[@edwardkirby5225]

I don’t think feminism solves men’s issues. Woman’s aid is a feminist group that said men can’t be abused and I was sexually abused by a woman so it’s all feminists fualt I was sexually abused. You owe me an apology.

[@Nerobyrne]

@@edwardkirby5225 "I don’t think feminism solves men’s issues." Cool, so you're objectively and demonstrably wrong. Have a nice time talking to yourself.

[@edwardkirby5225]

@@Nerobyrne Then explain why Finland has gendered conscription despite being the most feminist country on earth and they do it to protect themselves from patriarchal Russia.

[@Priyanshu-jt8cg]

@@Nerobyrne Feminists are the reason female on male rape isn't a criminal offence in my country. But sure go off and tell how feminists actually help men while actions are contradictory.

[@georgepalmer5497]

I am decidedly on the masculine end of the gender spectrum. I have a passing interest in American football, but I like amateur wrestling. I like ultimate fighting sometimes. I'm not too interested in cars, but I do take an interest in military technology. I also write poetry and short stories. I don't view any of those traits as mutually exclusive.

[@michaelschmid2311]

14:20 the moment I realize I’m apparently not masculine anymore because I want my girlfriend to be in an equal position in my relationship and because I am attracted to strong women… That guy Is uhm … interesting. He can’t just claim that his beauty standard has to be the one of the society . What a Bafoon.

[@ripwednesdayadams]

These types of people weird me out so much. They spend so much time thinking about other people’s lives. Part of me thinks it’s because they’re miserable because of the rigid set of rules they have created for themselves. They can’t stand to see other people being their true, authentic selves and living by their own rules.

[@RexfelisLXIX]

Well met. Don't forget to leave a like.

[@viinisaari]

18:53 Having a bad relationship with your father might also be legitimate example of how hegemonic gender roles create unhappiness, a logical justification for wanting to break the mold. You wouldn't say the same thing to someone who doesn't drink because their parents were alcoholics.

[@crystlelakefarm1254]

Agreed